Democratic watchman. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1855-1940, October 17, 1890, Image 2

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    Friday Morning, October 17, #890.
Who pays his tax with many a sigh,
Wonders why they are so high,
And fails to see the “how” apd wly 2
he farmer.
Who has the weal pulled over his eyes,
By partisan highiprotection cries,
gut for gospel the plainest ies?
The farmer.
Who'll ery “protection” loud and long
Until it becomes a worn-out song,
And sudden]y find he bas been «ll wrong ?
The farmer.
Who'll rise some day in all hismight,
When he sees ome things in asclearer light,
And knoek the “machine” as high as a kite?
d The farmer.
Who'll say: “Less tax is what we need
And a firmer chek on Monopoly’'s greed!
And strike for reform with lightning speed ?
The farmer.
Who'll raise:a great political storm,
For the 6. «Q. P. make it very warm,
‘When he takes his stand for tax-reform ?
The farmer.
Then haste the day when overy man
Shall stand for the right, as surely he can,
And noae shall prove more loyal than—
The farmer.
‘Who loves:to plow and sow and reap,
And oft’ times toils while others sleep,
That heimey have ‘‘corn to sell and keep”?
The farmer.
Who ig up betimes withthe morning sun,
And counts the day but.ill begun
Until some useful task is done ?
The farmer.
Who pays his debts like an honest man,
And he possibly can?
(Which surely isthe wisest plan.)
The farmer.
Whose heart is free from dishonest taint,
The knavery of the Sunday saint, :
And with “ways that are dark” is not acquaint ?
The farmer
Who greets therobin and the wren
And all the tribes of the leafy glen
Secluded. from the haunts of men ?
The farmer.
Who studies nature’s wondrous power
In bird and beast, in tree and flower,
And yields her worship every hour ?
The farmer.
Then here’s to the man of honest face,
Of earnest heart and homely grace,
A noble honor to his race—
The farmer.
Locaxrox, Oct. 6, 1890. RErsik
Nore—The farmer more particularly alluded
to in Part I, is th2 Pennsylvania farmer. The
farmer of the western States is fortunately and
rationally and consistently as much the foe as
the Pennsylvania farmer is the friend of “Pro-
Re ————— ——
“I never thought to come to this,”
said Mrs. Aikin, dolefully, as she look-
ed around the disordered kitchen. “And
the cream all spoiling for lack of some
one to churn, and the young turkeys all
down with the pip, and the white calf
ailing, and me tired, hand and foot like
“Don’t fret, mother,” said Jonas,
who, after a most clumsy and ‘manlike
fashion, was frying potatoes over the
fire. “It'll all come right.”
“It can’t all come right,” said Mrs.
_Aikin, jerking out the words between
the spasms of rheumatism. “Every-
thing will go to rack and ruin. Oh,
dear, Jonas, you'll have to hire a help.
The men are coming next week to cut
down the grass in the forty-acre med-
der—four of ‘em, and all expected to be
boarded here, and the doctor says it'll
be a chance if I get back my strength
in six weeks.”
“I can put 'em off,mether,” suggest-
ed Jonas, cheerfully.
“And spoil the finest hay-crop we've
ever grown,” said Mrs. Aikin. “That
will never do. Hired help is the only
way out of it.”
“I don’t know of any one to be hired,”
said Jonas, dishing up his potatoes in a
way that struck a chill to his mother’s
heart. “There's Phebe Potter, but she
asks two dollars a week.”
“She must be crazy,” said Mrs. Aik-
in. “What does she take people for, I
wonder? Twelve shillings is an exor-
bitant price for any girl to expect. No
one can earn it.”
“Euretta Clay?”
“Mrs. Hopkins had her once. She's
as slow as Old Time, and untidy at
Jonas was silent; his resourees had
evidently reached their limit. He be-
gan to cut the breaa in big, irregular
“Thinner, Jonas, thinner!” eried his
mother. “Oh, dear, what a squealing
them pigs keep up; they know it's past
their reguiar feeding time, as well as
though they were Christians.”
“I guess the pigs'll keep,” observed
philosophic Jonas, trudging slowly
down cellar after a pot of butter, Mrs.
Aikin moved uneasily in her chair,
and uttered a groan.
“Oh, dear! oh, dear! we vever can
get along this way,” mused she. “Some-
thing has got to he done. Jonas!”
The curly head and sunburned face
appeared at the top of the cellar stairs,
like the Good Genii coming up through
the stage floor in the pantomime.
“Look here, Jonas—you must get
Jonas sat the butter-plate down on
the table with a bang.
“Me!” said he. “Good Lord, moth-
er!” he exclaimed, “what are you
thinking of 2”
“Why, Idon’tsee any better arrange-
ment,” said Mrs. Aikin. “You're six-
and-twenty, and I'm getting feebler and
more good-for-nothin’ every day. There
aint no gal we can hireshort of twelve
shillings a week. A wife would come
a great deal cheaper, Jonas—and she
wouldn't want no clothes for a ‘year, at
least—and she'd sort o’ take an inter-
est, and do lots o things a hired help
wouldn’t undertake! There's Letty
Hooper, Jonas, she's a right smart,
stirring gal, and as pretty as a picter.”
Jonas whistled; the idea commend.
ed itself to him, on futher refiection, as
eminently practicable.
“It might be better economy,” re-
marked he,
“Of course it would,” said Mrs. Aik-
in, “There's the new rag carpet ready
An hiring a man to make garden when
| stead of lefting her work herself into a |! y
& » or > P. Ochiltree has not five minates to
waste on him.”
for the loom, and the spring house-
cleanin’ mot attended to yet, and all
the milk and butter, and the turke:s
and goslings, and the young calves,
and the vegetable garden—1 sold three
dollars worth of green peas out of the
garden last year; and there's no sense
any smart woman can look arter it,
odd times; and your clothes need at-
tending to, and my new alpaca dress
aint made yet,and—why, la me! there’s
work for three- women, at least, about
the place! Go and see Letitia Hooper
this very afternoon, before Nat Pellett
gets the start of you!” she added.
Jonas Aikin came home at ten
o'clock that night, and told his mother
that Letty Hooper had accepted him.
“Good!” said Mrs. Aikin. “Now
we'll get something done about the
premises. Hurry up the wedding as
Soon as ever you can, my son; it’s an
awful inconvenient time of the year to
get married in!” ]
“Are you sure you're doing a wise
thing, Letty ?”” said old Eden Hooper,
when his daughter showed him her
wedding dress with blushing pride.
“Why not, father ?*
“Those Aikins have the name of be-
ing very hard. And Mrs. Green, their
neighbor, says Jonas is only getting
married to save the expense of a hired
“I think he likes me,” said Letty,
shyly. “And I'm awfally sorry for
his poor rheumatic mother.”
“I guess you'd better keep your pity
for yourself,” observed Mr. Hooper,
shrewdly. “By all accounts, you'll
need 1t! Going to Uncle Prickett’s for
your wedding trip, eh? Well it’s a
pleasant part of the country. I dare
say you'll like it.”
Uncle Prickett was a leather-com-
plexioned old man, with keen black
eyes, and sharp, yellow teeth, like
those of an elderly monkey. Ie gave
them a cordial welcome.
“That’s a pretty little new wife of
yours, Mr. Aikin,” said he. “And as
smart as steel, too, though she is my
“Yes,” said Jonas, with modest ex-
ultation, “I calculate she’ll be helpful
like around the farm. We need a stir-
ring woman at home.”
“Not too helpful, I hope,” said Un-
cle Prickett.
“Eh ?” said Jonas.
“Look here,” said Uncle Prickett,
“Sir?” stammered Jonas.
“Fond of her, eh?” questioned Un-
cle Prickett.
“You bet I am!” Jonas prompily
“Then don’t murder her!”
“Murder her |”
“Look here again.” And Uncle
Prickett drew Jonas towards the win-
dow. “D’ye see the church-yard over
there on the hill 2”
Jonas shivered a little.
“Yes,” said he, “I see it.
white stones gleamin’ through
trees, aint it?”
‘My wife lies there,” said Uncle
‘Indeed !" said Jonas, alittle uneasily.
‘I killed her!’ said Uncle Prickeit.
Jonas started back.
‘Eh?’ he exclaimed a second time.
‘Don’t look at me that way,’ said
Uncle Prickett. ‘I didn’t stab her, nor
poison her. I loved her, young man,
Just as well as you love your wife. And
yet—I killed her. Do you want to
know how it was done?’
Jonas started at him. Had the man
gone crazy ?
‘Work !” said Uncle Prickett ‘Hard
work! We were proud of the farm
and of the dairy. We liked to take
premiums at the county fairs. We
added up our bank account every night,
Jenny was as anxious to save money
as [ was. She rose at three o'clock in
the morning, and sat up sewing until
eleven at night. Well, here's the farm
and there's the bank account ; but Jen-
ny lies buried under the biggest gray
shaft on yonder side hill. She died
the day before her twenty-ninth birth-
day, and I knew just as well as if a
been her death.’
‘No, no!” pleaded Jonas.
say that!’ :
‘As true as I stand here,’ said Uncle
Prickett. ‘I should haye been careful’
of her. A womanaintan iron machine.
I should have cherished her—aint that |
what the ‘Marriage Service’ says ?—in- |
decline. What sort o' good do you
suppose all that money does me now ?
She ain’t here to share it with me.
Now you know what I mean, young:
man.’ :
Aud Uncle Prickett turned on his
heel and went out of the room. :
‘Letty,’ he said to his niece, who was
gathering the first ripe raspberries that
grew on the sunny garden wall, ‘I've
been giving your husband a word of ad-
vice, I've been telling him he mustn’t
let you work yourselfto death, hke
your Aunt Jenny did.’
‘Do you think he needs advice,Uncle
‘All young men do at one period or
auother of their lives,’ said Mr. Prick-
It was of a Saturday night when Jo-
nas brought his bride home. Mrs.
Green, the nearest neighbor, had been
helping around the house, and had pre-
pared a savory supper. The evening
meal was scarcely concluded, when a |e
wagon drove up to the door, and out
stepped a stout Welsh girl, with a bun-
ble under her arm, and a yellow cotton
‘Who's this?’ said Mrs. Aikin, view-
ing the new arrival with disfavor.
‘It’s the hired help,’ Jonas answered. | v
‘The hired help! Why, I thought
you'd got married to—'
‘The fact s, mother,’ said Jonas,
kindly, ‘I've a sort o’ changed my |u
mind about some things. You've most | d
killed yourself with hard work. You
never would have got this rheumatism
fastened on you if you hadn’t stuck to
it you'd whitewash the cellar yourself
that damp spell in May, and I mean
Letty shall start on a different platform,
We aint rich, but we can afford to live
comfortable, and I don't mean my wife
shall lose her round ch
color. Shel
out turning into a drudge ; and so I've
hired Joan Llannis for a year.
house together.’
word of this.
King Humbert of Italy to hear of it,
you know.
of me that I am afraid he would declare
war on the United States if he heard I
had been snubbed by Harrison, and I
don’t want that, you know.” i
She'll find enough to do, with-
Mrs. Arkin uttered a hollow groan.
‘I do believe you've gone crazy,” she
‘We shall all go to the poor-
But they did not. Joan Llannis
proved a domestic treasure, especially
as nurse-in-chief to the poor old rheu-
matic Invalid.
The Fall of the Petticoat.
‘We have the word of the New York
Sun for it that the petticoat has fallen. Tt
is curious to note the wane of the petti-
skirts began to dwindle it has fallen off
steadily and perceptibly.
evolution of the bustle it was a great in-
nuisance was abated. Steels or reeds in
the foundation skirts of frocks appeared,
and one by one superfluous petticoats
were dispensed with until at last Dame
Fashion has decreed
clothes a woman has on the better, only
provided she is sufficiently warm, and
so the old time petticoat has become lit-
tle more than a memory.
Ever since the five-yard hoop
During the
Then, little by little, this
that the fewer
“There is no reason on earth why a
woman shonld be dragged to the ground
by wearing enough undergarments at
one time to stock a ladies’ furnishing
shop A man doesn’t, and his sisters
and cousins and aunts don’t either any
more,” said Madame, and, being pressed
for particulars, the following inventory
was finally submitted: ¢
from knee to waist, a web of silk like a
sword sheath.
what is known to modern times as a
petticoat, but is so delightfully different
from the ancient significance of that
term that it seems a pity not to call it
by some other name,
you choose, or black or white.
likely to be of washing silk, surah, or
some soft Indian or chinese weave, ab-
soluely devoid of stiffening.
in front and sides, and fitted smoothly
onto a round yoke with a drawing
string at the back, and a shir of ribbons
with bows and ends drawing the fullets
together half way down from the belt.
Silken tights
Over it a corset, and
Here is its de-
It may be whatever color
It is
1t is gored
Next to the people who have scruples
about the morality of starched petticoats
come the objectors with whom nature
has dealt kindly, who, therefore, dread
the frankness of the clinging silken
soft and sufficient substitutes for miss-
But art is kind. Feathers are
ng curves and cushioning sharp angles,
and it is eaid that the India-rubber in-
dustry has also been employed as a rec-
tifier in such cases.
a summer resort this
beautiful hips and she constantly wore
soft-clinging raiment of crepe or mus-
lin that flowed in long graceful folds
about the exquisite form. That she
was an artistic success was undeniable.
How that success was achieved: ought to
have remained secret, but the stunning
revelation in this instance was a long
bonnet pin, operated by a wicked small
brother, who had been locked up in his
windows opened on a veranda, where
the beautiful girl promenaded slowly,
with a train of admirers hovering
around. Thesmall boy appeared gaz-
There was a girl at
season who had
for some misdemeanor. Long
ng through the shutters of his prison,
and when his sister paused just in front
of the window an expression of fiendish
glee shone in his eyes.
little paw was thrust through the slats,
clutching a long hat pin, which the ur-
chin jabbed into the young lady. She
did not flinch, but her lovely form be-
gan to fall away, until her superb in-
flated hips were flat as the traditional
her friends, a chuckle from the impish
brother, and presently hysterical crying
from the apartment into which the girl
with the beautiful form had fled follow-
ed in rapid succession.
A very tanned
Amazement on the faces of
To Be Kept From King Humbert.
“Tom?” Ochiltree wanted to control a
large slice of the patronage in Texas,
and asked an audience with General
Harrison for the purpose of explaining
matters. The President sent out word
that he would give the former member
a , | from the cowboy district from Texas
coroner’s inquest had said so that I had five minutes of his time in the library.
~ “What!” exclaimed Thomas Porter-
house, “five minutes for me, for me who
was almost raised in the White House,
who has slept in the same. bed with a
President, who has been the confident
and chum of kings and princes—five
minutes for me, for me!
tle bow-legged lawyer from Indianapo-
Tell that lit-
is, that sawed-off Hoosier, that Thomas
As Ochiltree sailed out of the White
House he paused long enough to say to
& newspa
r man:
eaven’s sake, don’t print a
Idon’t want my friend
Hummy, old boy, is so fond
The Best Dressing.
The best dressed woman is by no
means always the one who is array-
ed with the most splendor and costli-
ness 5 and to know how to dress accord-
ing to the occasion is as much an art
as to know how to dress at all. In
one’s own home to outdress one’s guest
is a rudeness and an unkindness; the
house, the equipage, the retinue, the
ntourage, the whole establishment is
there to speak for one; the personal
attire can be of the most modest.
on the other hand, an attire that is too
modest is equally out of place on the
guest, ‘or it seems to assume. that the
entertainment is inferior and the con-
ives of no consequence. lt ig better
for the guest to be overdressed than for
the hostess—better for the guest than
to be underdressed ; she need not feel
ncomnfortable if she has come in a
ress outshining that of every one else
present, since the worst that can be
said of itis that she thought the oceca-
sion worthy of it,—Harper's Bazar,
MisuNDERSTOOD.—She (as he places
his arm around her waist) —Stop right
where you are, sir !
He (taking a firmer hold)—Willingly,
ceks and fresh my dear.--Epoch.
Turkeys Routed by Grasshoppers.
Farmer James C. Fuirchild, of the
upper Paupack region in Pennsylvania,
asserts that he has never known grass-
hoppers to be so thick in that place as
they have been during the past August.
In a three acre field of late rye the in-
sects were so numerous that they ate all
the blades off the stalks and sucked all
the juice out of them before the crop
was ripe. , One day farmer Fairchild
left his white vest at the edge of the lot
and when he went to put it on at night
he found that the grasshoppers had eat-
en hundreds of holes in 1t. The grass-
hoppers seemed to increase several fold
each day in that particular field, and it
appeared to him as though they came
out of the ground nearly full grown.
As soon as the rye was put into the
barn, he turned the turkeys into the
stubble. - A high stone wall surrounds
the lot, and the turkeys drove the
hordes of grasshoppers shead of them
and gobbled up what they wanted.
One day the turkeys drove apparently
millions of the insects into a corner of
the field. They couldn’t get over the
wall or through it, and several bushels
of the grasshoppers, Farmer Fairchild
declared, turned upon his flock of tur-
keys and came within an ace of swamp-
ing them. The fowls were completely
covered with grasshoppers, and the in-
sects kept coming at them so thick and
fast that the turkeys finally took to
their legs and wings, and went squalling
toward the center of the lot as though
something had scared them half to
After a little, one of the gobblers ral-
lied the flock, and led them back to the
corner. He gobbled a number of times
on the way, and the other tom turkeys
marched abreast of him and gobbled
defiantly at the grasshoppers, the hens
bringing up the rear and talking ‘sauci-
ly as they marched. Well up toward
the corner of the field the flock spread
out, and in a moment innumerable
wings were buzzing toward the wall
Pretty soon the grasshoppers were as
thick in the corner as they had been be-
fore. There wasn’t room for them all,
and again they turned upon the.turkeys
and the turkeys turned tail in an instant,
skedaddled across the lot, and flew over
the bars into the roadway. The fowls
had plainly been badly scared by the
grasshoppers, and since then Farmer
Fairchild has been unable to gel his
turkeys to stay in the rye field for ten
minutes at a time.
Baa ——————————————
Iam a Mystery that walks the earth
Since man began to be.
Sorrow and Sin stood sponsors at my birth,
An Terror christened me.
More pitiless than Death, who gathereth
His victims day by day;
I doom man daily to desire of death,
And still forbear to slay.
More merciless than Time, I leave man Youth
And suck life's sweetness out.
More cruel than Despair, I show man Truth,
And leave him strength to doubt.
I bind the treest in my subtle band,
I blanch the boldest cheek ;
I'hold th hearts of poets in my hand,
And wring them ere they speak.
I walk in darkness over souls that bleed,
I shape each as I go
To something different. I drop the seed
Whence grapes or thistles grow.
No two that dream me, dream the self-same
No two name me alike.
A Horror without form I fill all space,
Across all time I strike.
Man cries, and cringes to mine unseen rod ;
Kings own my sovereignty;
Seers may but prove me as they prove a God;
Yet none denieth me.
—Grace Denio Litchfield, in Independent.
The Way Americans Sit,
Kate Field says, referring to the day
Chief Justice Fuller delivered in the
House of Representatives his oration on
a century of Constitutional Govern-
ment: “In marched the President and
Mer. Blaine, followed by the other Sec-
retaries, and sat down in the first row
of the amphitheatre. Sat? Yes, sit-
ting is what it is called. Within five
minutes every mother’s son of them,
with perhaps one exception, had slid
down so that his body was supported by
his shoulder blades and the small of his
back. The Justices of the Supreme
Court followed, and down they went in
the same way. So did the rest of the
dignitaries, as bevy after bevy filed in.
In contrast with them, there sat the
foreign Ministers and the delegates to
the two international Conferences, as
upright as ramrods.
What made the contrast so disagree-
able was the fact that our own great
men were by far the best-looking persons
on the floor, as a rule. Itseemed a pity
that they should spoil their fine effect
by such an attitude. But. it is the com-
mon fault of Americans in public
places. Congress sits on its 400 and
odd spines when it ain’t making
speeches or writing letters, Our magis-
trates do it on the Bench. Our State
legislators do it. Everybody does it
when. he hasn’t his hand or brain or
both, too busily occupied to admit of
such a thing. And why, pray?’
Well Paid Evangelists.
“Thepay of evangelists is small,” says
Evangslist Ben Deerings,when it is re-
mem bered how exhausting and respon-
sible their work is. I mean the ordinary
evangelist—the man who is without a
national reputation. I have preached
in a Missouri town fora week and
crowded the church four times a day,
receiving only $60 at the end of my
work, Of course, the evangelists
whose fame is spread over the whole
country make more money than this,
but even their pay it nothing like what
it is made by extravagant popular
stories. Harrison, the boy preacher, is
always in demand, and charges $10 a
day for his services, whether he is en-
gaged for a week or a month, He is
worth about $60,000. Moody makes
no charge for his services, but he is
paid much be‘ter than Harrison.
Wao WouLpN'T.—Clergyman—-How
is Brown coming on since he failed in
business ? Rather down hearted, I sup-
P The last
Smith—No, I think not.
time I saw him he was looking up and
trying to be hopeful.
“Ah, I'm glad to hear that 1”?
The Grizzly Bear.
A Most Interesting Critter With But a
Single Fault.
The Californian grizzly is a most in-
teresting unimal. As Bret Harte used
to say, he hus but one ungentlemanly
habit, that of scalping with his fore paw
and this he caught from the wicked red
man. Otherwise, unless aggressively
assaulted, he is the pink of good beha-
vior. He will walk off the trail and give
you the riget of way ; he will gather
salmon berrics in the same patch, or dig
roots on the hillside while you are sketch-
ing or writing not many yards away.
Ifit were otherwise—if the grizzly had
the temper of the royal ticer—thousands
of the pioaeers of California would have
perished at his claws, ior a full-grown
grizzly when aroused is a terrible an-
There was a family of pioneers who
lived in the hills of Alameda County,
not far from Vapley’s. The elder,
Zachariah Cheney, took his son Joe and
a young man named Allen and went
out to kill a grizzly. They all knew very |
well where to find him, in a wild un-
broken canyon, or about the rocks at its
head, where oak trees grew. They had
come across his tracks many times and
had seen him grubbing camass roots on
the hillside when they were hunting up
cattle. So they thought very little of
the danger. Each of them had a gun
and a revolver. Suddenly they met the
bear at the head of the wooded gulch,
who, seeing their warlike preparations,
immediately charged them and treed
all three in less than a minute. There
was so little time for choice of trees that
the elder Cheney and young Allen got
into scrub-oaks hardly larger than rve-
spectable quince trees. In less time than
it takes to tell it the bear had Cheney
on the ground, scalped him with one
blow, crushed his arm with another
and left him. The bear instantly turn-
ed his attention to young Allen, seized
him by the boot-leg and jerked him
from the tree so violently that the poor
fellow rolled 30 feet down the gulch and
under some willows, where he lay in
silence. The third man was beyond
reach, so the grizzly, master of the cir-
cumstance, rose to his full height, gave
a roar of triumph and walked leisurely
home. Not a single shot was fired by
any of the men! Yet let no one too
hastily shoot out the contemptuous lip,
for 99 men out of 100 might have done
as badly. Therush of a large grizzly
from his chappara! shelter is a terrible
thing to face. I distrust most of the
current stories about successful hand-to-
hand encounters with full-grown griz-
zlies. There is an oak tree in Shasta
county under which a miner who bad
fired upon a grizzly was killed by one
blow from the enraged animal. And
when his companions had killed him
it was found that the man’s bullet had
passed entirely through the animal’s
If it were not for poison placed for
him in his haunts, the great master of
the California forests would walk “alone
as a rhinoceros” in almost every wild
canyon of Cost Range and Siarra. Men
learn to give him the track whenever
they can, and if they go on the war
path, it is with profound respect for
their antagonist’s strength and courage,
I once met five or six San Luis Obispo
farmers who had shot a huge grizzly.
Tkey took their guns and went down a
gulch where the bear lived, They found
him where he was bound to cross a
ravine to get to them, and so they were
able to put over 20 bullets into him be-
fore he died at their teet. They had
just skinned him and spread the great
hide on the rocks when I rode up. I ask-
ed them how they felt about it, and the
leader said : “We none of us want to
tackle another. If he had been on our
side of the gulch, instead of his own,
most of us would have been killed be-
fore we could pump enough lead into
him.” And that seeraed to be the gen-
eral conviction.
Beauty of Spanish Women.
If I were asked to state in one sen-
tence wherein lies the chief advantage
of Spanish women over those of other
countries, says a writer in Seribner,
and to what they owe their fame for
beauty, I should say that if a Spanish
girl has round cheeks, and has medium-
sized, delicately-cut nose and mouth,
she is almost certain to be a eomplete
beauty; whereas, if an American or
English girl has a good nose, mouth
and cheeks, the chances are still against
ber having a beautiful complexion, and
fine eyes, hair and teeth, which Spanish
girls are endowed with as a matter of
course. But over and above every
thing else, it is the unique grace and
the exquisite femininity, unalloyed by
any trace of masculine assumption or
caricature, that constitute the eternal
charm of Spanish women.
(snuggling quite close to his watch-
chain)— What have you in that locket ?
CHOLLIE—A postage stamp.
Dorrie — Goosie. ‘What. postage
atamp ? :
CHoLLIE—The one on your last pre-
cious love letter, I detached it care-
fully. Tt touched your moist red lips.
It often touches mine.
DoLLie—You dreadful, awful fellow!
I’m so sorry !
CHoLLIE—Sorry ! Why ?
+ DorLnie—Because I moistened that
stamp on Fidos dear, damp nose.
—Wire—Tell me, Reginal, dear, what
made you love and marry me ?
Her HusBaND—I fell in love with
you at Snigger’s party, when the waiter
spilled a whole dish of ice cream over
your silk dress. You smiled so sweetly
though you knew that your dress was
ruined, that I made up my mind I ney-
er had seen so angelic a woman. ‘
Sue—Ha ! ha I Is it possible. Why
I never was so vexed in my life, I
went home and upset the whole family.
You just ought to have heard how 1
went on.
—— Never a rose without a thorn’
is an axiom possessing much truth. It
follows, then. that the thorns were creat-
ed for the purpose of protecting the
treasures of the bush. So do we often
find in human life that beauties of the
heart and mind are preserved by the
thorns of unshapely bodies, unbeautiful
“He was trying to drink from a jug.” faces, or lack of wealth.
Nuptial Multiple of Three.
! Polygamy i: practiced to an extrava-
gant degree, says a West African letter
to the Baltimore American. The more
wives a man has the higher his social
| standing. The number which a man
| in private life may have is limited to the
{ ability to purchase and support them,
but the number of wives which the
i King may have is limited by law—Ilim-
| ited to the modest numuoer of 3,333, and
it is said that he usually does not far
| exceed this limit.
At any rate, he musthave more wives
| than any of his subjects, or his respect-
| ability will suffer. T was told by the
| American consular agent at Elmirt that
| the present king actually has the 3,333
i and that he has 600 children.
All the king « as to do to get a wife is
to choose any female he pleases, no mat-
ter how young she may be. Girls are
often chosen when less than ten year
cold, and in such cases they are left ‘with
their mothers until of mature age, at
which time they are taken to join the
rest of the 3,383.
Nomanis ever allowed to see the
| King’s wives, and should they even uc-
cidentally see one his punishment is
| death, These wives during the work-
| ing season, attend to the king's planta-
tions, but the rest of the time they live
; at Coomsie, the Ashartee capital, where
they cccupy two long streets.
‘When they go out for a walk
body, as is often the case, they are
| ceded by a number of eunuchs, who
| herald their coming, that all men may
disappear and avoid looking upon them;
when this is impossible they must fall
upon their faces to the ground.
If a white man happens to be there,
and understands not the law, eunuchs
turn his face away from the advancing
in a
CEO ————
Wise Words:*
Not to sow means not to reap.
A bad egg takes up as much room as
a gSod one.
If we could know all, we could for-
give more easily.
Get each nian right, and the nation
will be right.
It is better to fail in trying to do good
than never to try.
The more money a man hss the more.
he needs religion.
‘Wrong doing people are the most ex-
acting of all people.
Heart work is something that can not
be paid for in money.
The man who loves others will try to
make himself loveable.
You can tell what a man believes by
| finding out. what he does. -
No man ever hears birds sing who
goes into a cave to look for them.
Necessity is not only the mother of
invention, but the father of lies also.
The great essential in saving men is to
i convince them that you love them.
The man who is always thinking evil
finds ten thousand ways to speak it.
The man who is always looking for an
easy place will have a hard time of it.
Every man on earth needs more cour-
age more than he does more money.
For a steady thing, the light of a
tallow candle is better than that of a
The preacher fails who tries to preach
a doctrine that hasn’t been tested in his
own heart.
If you want to have plenty of oppor-
tunities for doing good, be sure that you
do not neglect the first one.
If people would stop looking toward
the wrong place they would find it a
great deal easier to stay in the right
place. &
ee —
An Optimists Awful Blow,
This is about a young man who lives
in the Pine Tree State, He is a
young man of very deep feelings.
‘When he gets his mind on a thing, it
takes strong hold on him. His is one
of those intense natures that can brook
no opposition. Yet up to the time of
which I write he had alwaws been noted
for looking upon the bright side of
things—one of your real bright optom-
ists who consider that every cloud has a
German silver lining. Well this young
man had centered his affections upon a
young lady in the village, and on nu-
merous occasions offered his escort on
rides and to parties. These were 80 uni-
formly and firmly refused that he at
length brought matters to a kead by
asking the lady, point blank, why she
refused his attentions. :
‘‘Because,” she said, “I am engaged
to another man, and do not think it
would be right to go about with you.’’
The young man sat stupified for a
moment, too absolutely stunneds for
words. Thenhis former bright nature
forsook him, as he looked, shuddering,
‘down the long black vista of the years
that confronted him. Notone ray of
light gleamed -athwart the said vista:
The clouds seemed lined with black al-
paca. Turning his mournful gaze upon
the object of his soul’s worship, this one-
time light-hearted,but now desolate man
brought fotrh a groan from his inmost
being, and said in a voice that tremb-
lingly told ot his deep feeling in the mat-
‘Abigail, T would rather have given
$5 than have had it thus.”’— Lewistown
No Use For 4 WarcH Pocrrr.—
A young man had himself measured for
a suit of clothes, When he got his
clothes from the tailor he discovered
that there was no watch pocket in the
#What is the meaning of this ?’’ ask.
ed the indignant customer.
“Meaning of what?”
‘Why, this waistcoat has no watch
pocket. Why didn’t you make the
waistcoat like the one I sent you as a
pattern ? It had a watch pocket.
“J know. the old waistcoat had awatch
cket, but as there was a pawn ticket in
it for your watch, I didn’t see what use
you were going to have for a watch
Robinson—How do you think this dress
suits me ?
Miss Tangle—First rate. You look
charming in it. Why, I hardly knew