Bellefonte, Pa., February 28, 1890. THE AVERAGE MAN. His face had the grim look of granite, As wrinkled and brown with the sun As the coat on his narrow shoulders— ‘And his hands showed the work he had done For his wife and the babe on her bosom, Yet he smiled through his palor and tan In a patient, sad way,as if saying, “I'm only the average man.” “J can’the a hero or poet, Nor a General, decked with acrown; I'm only a badly-paid servant For them setabove me. I'm down, An’ its no use complaining, I'll get along the best way I can— But one o’ these days’ll come mornin’ An’ hope for the average man.” As Ilcoked on this wistful-eyed toiler A fire flashed inte my brain, And I eried from my heart’s deepest center Above the wild roar of the train: «I have seen the hero of battles, I have looked on the hand for the plan— The mightiest force of the world is The arm of the average man! He wages all battles and wins them, He builds all the towers thatsoar From the heart and the heat of the city ; His hand sets the ship from the shore. Without him the General is helpless, The earth but a place for a plan, He moves all, and builds all, and feeds all, This sad-smiling average mon! Then T lifted my hand in a promise. With teeth hard-set and my breath Held close in my throat, as I uttered In a vow that shali outlive death: “YT awear that the builder no longer To me shall pe less than the plan; Henceforth I give honor and glory— Being just to the average man!” °° — Hamlin Garland, in Exchange. erm —————— A DENTAL TRAGEDY. Smalibore made no secret of the fact that he meant “business” with Ance- lina Goodluck. She had a good figure, a pretty face, not too much brains and a cool million in hard cash. There was every indication that Smallbore’s suit would be crowned with success. Never before had his smile been so be- witching or his glances so thrillingly tender. Miss Angelina basked in the sunshine of the former and revelled in the radiance of the latter. In fact so obvious was it that Smallbore was the favored suitor thatall other competitors had retired from the field with the ex- ception of Frank Bluff, and it was the general opinion that he didn’t leave it simply because of his constitutional in- ability to perceive when he was beaten. The Goodluck parties, as everybody in the social swim knows, are delight fal and jolly affairs. They ave not sufficiently particular, perhaps, con- cerning the lineage of some persons they invite to suit those who hold strong and uncompromising opinions on the subject of “blue blood,” but it has always been conceded that if any one gets bored at one of the Goodluck’s entertainments the fault is his own. There is no stiffness or restraint about their hospitality. They possess the happy faculty of making everybody feel at home. The house, with the large conservatory attached to it, is delightfully arranged for “spooning” or even more serious amatory business. The house is deservedly very popular with mammas with marriageabledaugh- ters. One mamma who there successful- ly launched three danghters on the serene and placid sea of matrimony, once remarked: “lt is my candid opinion that if a girl can’t get off’ the hooks through Goodluck’s parties she may as well retire to a nunnery at once.” It is not strange, therefore, that Smalibore should have decided after careful consideration, to formally ¢ pop” to Miss Angelina at the next Goodluck party. The fateful eveningcame round in due course as all evenings do. fate- ful or otherwise. Smallbore was a hap- py man and he believed that some where in the neighborhood of mid- night he would be still happier. The most careful and methodical of men is apt to become absent minded when he thinks that he is going to “pop” to a young lady within the next few hours. Ido not speak from ex- perience but I have been so informed by those whom I have consulted on the subject. Smallbore himself told me afterward that he dressed like an automaton thatevening.as he wasthink- ing all the time of “something else.” It was a long drive to the Goodluck mansion, but the way didn’t seem long to Smallbore. The rain fell in a .dis- mal drizzle. The contrast between the cheerless streets and the brilliantly lighted parlors full of fragrance and well bred men and handsome women was equal to that between the ogre’s den and the fairies’ grotto in the panto- ‘mime. Sot served to the poor people gathered outside who occasionally caugnt fragmentary ghmpses of the scene within when a door was opened, and they wished wistfully that they, too, might be rich. But no sooner had Smallbore opened his mouth to greet the first friend that he met—young Jack Seaspray—than he made a discovery which caused him to feel that he would gladly change places with the pcorest of the poor chaps outside and remain a poor chap for the rest of his days. That he told me himself. He had forgotten his false teeth ! He turned paleand clapped his hand- kerchief to his mouth while harrow- ing thoughts swirled through his brain. Great heavens, if he should smile he he was a lost man! He could not sing. He was robbed of his accomplishments and transformed into an awkward body “What's the matter, old fellow?” asked Seaspray, with genuine solici- tude. “Nothing, nothing,” Imuttered poor Smallbore behind the folds of his hand- kerchief, the absence of his teeth mak- ing him lisp. “I gueth ith only a thill, buth I think I'd betther go home.” Wise decision. Why don’t he stick to it? Because fate had ordained that at that moment he should see, through an opeu door, Frank Bluff paying ard- ent attention to Miss Angelina. dinary circumstances, of a well regula- ted and discreet character. But even the most temperate of wooers is likely to get his mental balance disturbed when he sees a rival making love to the woman whom he has resolved to make his wife. So Smallbore hastily decided that he would make himself as inconspicuous as possible. “Come upstairs and take a brandy and soda,” said Seaspray, “you will feel better then.” “Thankth, I thinkth T thwill,” re- phed Smallbore, who felt the need of something to stimulate his courage. It was the worst thing he could take un- under the circumstances. What he wanted was something to quicken bis judgment. Brandy and soda doesn’t do that. “It's my private opinion,” subsequent- ly observed Seaspray, in the smoking room, “that Smallbore is three sheets in the wind with the fourth flapping.” Seaspray was something of a yacht- man and affected nautical phrases. “Well, if that's the case, he had bet- ter ficht shy