Democratic watchman. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1855-1940, January 10, 1890, Image 2

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    Bellefonte, Pa., January 10, 1890.
I mourn no more my vanished years:
Beneath a tender rain,
An April rain of smiles and tears,
My heart is young again. .
The west winds blow, and, singing low,
I hear the glad streams run;
The windows of mv soul I throw
Wide open to the sun.
No longer forward nor behind
1 look in hope or fear,
But, grateful, take the good I find,
The best of now and here.
I break my pilgrim staff, I lay
Aside the toiling oar,
The angel sought so far away
I welcome at my door.
# ® # # # #
The woods shall wear their robes of praise
The south winds softly sigh,
And sweet calm days, in golden haze,
Melt down the amber sky.
Not less shall manly deed and word
Rebuke an age of wrong ;
The graven flowers that wreathe the sword
Make not the blade less strong.
But smiting hands shall learn to heal,—
To build as to destroy ;
Nor less my heart for others feel
That I the more enjoy.
All as God wills who wisely heeds
To give or to withhold
And knoweth more of all my needs
Than all my prayers have told.
Enough that blessings undeserved
Have marked my erring track ;—
That whensoe'r my feet have swerved,
His chastening turned me back ;—
That more and more a Providence
Of love isunderstood,
Making the springs of time and sense
Sweet with Eternal Good ;—
8 And death seems but a covered way
Which upens into light,
Wherein no blinded child can stray
Beyond the Father's sight;—
That care and trial seem at
Through memory’s su
Like mountain rangeso
The purple distance fair ;—
That all the jarring notes of life
Seem blending in a psalm,
And all the angles of the strife,
Now rounded into calm.
And so the shadows fall apart,
And =o the west winds play;
And all the windows of my heart
I open to the day.
—John G. Whittier, aged 82, December 17.
“Carpets, young man, if you please !”’
said Mrs, Cackle.
“What sort of carpets, ma'am? Mo-
quette ? Wilton? We have some very
desirable importations of royal velvet”
“No, Brussels! The cheapest thing
you have in Brussels that is any way
Mrs. Cackle sat up on the eighth
floor of Meddle & Minturn's great
store, her silken flounces rippling
around her ampie form, the bird of
paradise plume on her hat nodding, as
if to give extra significance to every
word she spoke. Her tan kid gloves,
glistening with many buttons, were fas-
tened with a gaudy diamond set bar,
and her plump visage bore the traces of
pearl powder and cream of roses,
laid on with no sparing hand.
Beside her sat her dear particular
iriend, Miss Rosina Rufford, who al-
ways played the part of Damon to her
Pythias, and invariably went shopping
with her.
“You see, Rosina,’ said Mrs. Cack-
le, who was one of the kind that talk
very load in public places, and indulge
in ail sorts of details, “it’s for a wed-
ding present. Lemuel gave me a check
for a hundred dollars,andtold me to buy
a nice parlor carpet for his cousin, who
is to be married next month”
“Mr. Cackle is always so generous,”
smiled Miss Rufford, whose new set of
ialee teeth made her smiles very smil-
ing indeed. “A hundred dollars, did
you say, dear ? That will buy a very
nice one, indeed!”
“It would, ” said Mrs. Cackle, “ ff I
was goose enough to buy it. Bat I
don’t mean to. Cackle’s only a man,
and men never do understand things.
‘What do these out of the wilderness
people understand about carpets? And
what do they want of the best grade?
No, young man, I don’t want any of
the dollar and a quarter lines. That's
toe high. Haven't you anything for
about a dollar, or ninety cents? It
needn’t be the very finest quality, IT
tell you. If I spend fifty dollars on it,”
turning once more to Miss Rufford,
“it'll be all that is necessary, and the
extra sui I'll investin a new satin
gown for myself. Ha, ha, ha; Cackle
18 80 very close with his check book,
that now and then I have to circum-
vent him.”
“You are so witty, dear,” tittered
Miss Ruftord.
“Nothing under a dollar and twelve
cents? shrilly repeated Mrs. Cackle,
as the salesman came back again. “I
couldn’t think of paying that. Have
you no unsaleable patterns nothing that
nobody else will buy ? The people that
I want this carpet for are dreadfully
old fashioned, and never will know the
“Oh, my dear, vou are too funny!”
said Miss Rufiord, behind her fan.
“We have one,” hesitated the young
clerk—*a ‘scarlet ground, with im-
mense olive-green pineapples all over
it. We haven't sold a yard oft it.
Everybody seems afraid of it, and I
don’t really think”
“Let me see it,” said Mrs. Cackle,
The porter presently wheeled up a
mammoth roll on a hand barrow; the
clerk unfolded itz hideous, glaring pro-
portions where, against a scarlet
ground, some mouster vegetables en-
twined itself among impossible scrolls.
“You see, ma'am, it's quite unsalea-
ble,” said the clerk. “Mr. Meddle was
talking of donating it to the reception
room of the Blink and Doodle Orphan
asylum, at” -— i
“It ig a little peculiar,’ said Mrs.
Cackle, eyeing it through herlorgnette.
“Quite-—ahem !—what [should call an
art carpet.”
i rte eb
“Oh, my dear Louisa! giggied Miss
Rufford. 3
“But very striking,” said Mrs.
“Quite so, ma’am,”; said the clerk,
coughing spasmodically behind his
pocket handkerchief. ;
“What will you let me have it for?”
said Mrs. Cackle, in a business like
way. .
“Eighty. cents, ma'am,” said the
“Say seventy-five,” spoke the custo-
“We conldn’t, indeed, ma'am. It
cost us more than that to import it.”
“I'll take thirty yards,” said Mrs.
Cackle. “Let me see” (calculating on
the fat tan colored fingers where the
rings bulged ont so obtrusively),
“naught’s a nanght, cight times
naught—that will come to twenty:
four dollars, won't it, young man ?”
“Twenty-four dollars, ma'am!" said
the clerk, scarcely able to repress his
amazement that any one in their senses
should buy so ugly a carpet.
“And that will leave seventy-six ou}
of the check,” said Mrs. Cackle, glee-
fully. “I'll tell you what, Rosina—I
can trim the black satin with the very
nicest Kscurial lace. I suppose those
back country barbarians will invite me
to the wedding, and I'd like to wear
something that will just paralyze them!
And my husband will never be any
the wiser. Do you look, Rosina!”
nudging her companion. “What a
beautiful moquette that tall young
lady in the black silk suit is choosing!
I’ve got to have something new in my
reception room next year. I wish I
could affors” “%
“The address, ma'am, please!” said
the clerk, pencil and pad in hand.
Mrs. Cackle hesitated.
“Well, I don’t know,” said she. “I
suppose it had better be sent at once,
with our card, to the bride. Give me
the paper, young man, if you please.
I'll write it down, so that there can’t
possibly be any mistake.”
“I tell you, Rosina,” she added, as
she sat in the elevator, being lowered
down to the level of the surface world,
“I wish I knew who that elegant young
lady was looking at the white-and-pearl
moquette carpet! I'd like to ask her
for the pattern of that shoulder cape.
I'm sure it must have come direct from
“Well, my dear,” said Mr. Cackle, as
he sat down to the soup and roast beef
of the plentiful table at home, “what
sort of a parlor carpet did you buy for
cousin Erminie?”*
“Oh, a beauty!” sail Mrs. Cackle,
spreading out her napkin to protect her
“Did you use all my check ?”
“Yes, every dollar of it,”’ answered
Mrs. Cackle, salving her conscience
with the recollection of the black satin
aud the Escurial lace, which were al-
ready in the dressmaker’s hands.
“I hope they'll be pleased,” said
Mr. Cackle. “l1t’s very essential to
make a favorable impression, I beg you
to remember, my dear, on these rela-
tions, for the young man Erminie is to
marry is a r lative of the head of onr
firm, and could, I have no doubt,recom-
mend me for advancement.”
“Why didn’t you tell me ail this be-
fore?" said Mrs. Cackle, with a pang
of tardy remorse. “But how on earth
did your country cousin come across
such a good match?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I believe he came
out to Glassybrook fishing or gunning
or something. Minnie's very pretty,
they tell me.”
“Humph !” said Mrs. Cackle. **Red
cheeks and black eyes, and hair cut in
a pointed bang right down to the top
of the nose—I know what these rustic
beauties are !”
The time for the wedding arrived.
The Cackles, in their holiday attire,
traveled down to Glassybrook, and
there, on the drawing room floor of an
elegant semi-Italian villa, Mrs. Cackle
recognized the very white and year)
moquette carpet that she had so covet-
ed at Meddle & Minturn’s. And the
bride—already in her white silk and
floating veil, to whom she was intro-
duced as Miss Erminie Brooks, soon to
become Mrs. Howard Crespigny—was
none other than the elegant young
lady in the Paris wrap and the per-
fectly fitting gloves and boots who had
heard every detail of the bargain for
the unsaleable carpet I”
If the cracks in the floor under-
ueath the moquette colors conld have
opened and swallowed Mrs. Cackle np
at that moment, what an indescribable
relief it would have been !
“I have to thank you, Mr. Cackle,
for your present,” said Erminie, in her
slow, queenly way ; and her smile was
a riddle.
“I hope you like it,” said honest Mr.
Cackle, looking down at the rose-and-
pearl shades of the soft pile, that closed
around his foot like forest moss. “It
certainly is a pretty pattern.”
Mrs. Cackle shot an imploring glance
at the bride—-a glance that said, plain-
er than words, “Don’t betray me!’—
and the bride began to talk with some-
body eise about something else.
She did not enjoy the black satin
dress with the Kscurial trimmings so
much as she had expected. The Paris
costumes of the ‘back Zcountry cous
ins” left her far in the shade.
“I'll never go to that dowdy dress
maker again,” said she, in a rage.
But she did, for Miss Biggs was
cheap, and Mrs. Cackle was economi-
cal. On the very first call she made
there after her trip to Glassybrook,
however, she gave a great start and
stared around like . one who beholds a
“My goodness me!” exclaimed she.
“Where did you get that carpet ?"’
“Isn't it nice?” said Miss Biggs,
beaming through her eyeglasses. “It
was a present from Mrs. Howard Cres-
pigny. Her mother was once a custo-
mer of mine. Wasn't it thoughtful of
her ?"
Mrs. Cackle made a little noise as if
she was swallowing something, and
said yes, she thought it was. 1
Mrs. Howard Crespigny was the,
bride. The carpet was her own wed-
ding gift—the identical “unsaleable pat-’
TE a
wera.’ aud Mi. Cackie never received
promotion in the firm of Harriman &
Crespigny on the recommendation of
his new relation-in-law.
Mr Cackle thought it very strange;
Mrs. Cackle didn't.—Helen Forrest
Graves in Philadelphia Saturday Night.
TL LL R————————
Innate Hoggishness,
“Now just stand beside wae a minute
and notice how much innate hoggish-
ness there isin human nature,” said a
conductor at the Boston and Maine sta-
tion last night to a Globe reporter. “The
5.45 train is just backing in. Watch.”
The long row of empty cars slowly
rolled into the station. The large plat-
form and the little platform between
the tracks were covered with men and
women waiticg to get seats as soon as
the cars stopped. But as the speed of
the cars slackened somewhat a wmove-
ment began all along the crowd. Men
jostled against each other in frantic at-
tempts to board the moving cars, clutch-
ed at the rails aud stumbled all over
the steps, trying to clamber aboard ; and
when the cars came to a full stop near-
ly every one of them was almost filled
with men comfortably reading their pa-
P As for the women. Well, one or two
brave but careless souls may have tried
to step upon a car before it stopped, but
for the rest there was nothing left to do
but wait while the men, unencumbered
with skirts and petticoats, jumped in
and got good seats.
“Not only do the men steal all the
seats,” remarked the conductor, “but
they never think of offering a woman a
seat. Street-car etiquette sort of half
compels a man not to allow a lady to
stand, but in a steam car she gets a seat
only when she is able to fight for it.
Some one will get killed jumping on
those cars some day, and then perhaps
you will see a change in things.
Women have no divine rights I sup-
pose, but they ought to be allowed a
fair start in the race.”’— Boston Globe
Mark Twain's Boyhood.
“He was always a rascal,” said R. E.
Morris, the painter, at 520 South Fourth
street, speaking of Mark Twain. “I
was born and raised in Hannibal; and
know when Mrs. Clemens (Mark’s
mother) moved from Florina, Monroe
county, to Hannibal. Mark was a;dull,
stupid, slow-going fellow, but he was
full of pranks, and while he didn’t do
the meanness, he planned it and got
other boys to do it. We went to school
to Dr. Meredith, and Mark always sat
near the foot of the class. He never
took any interest in books, and I never
saw him study his lessons. He left
school and went to learn the printing
business, and soon after that left Hanni-
bal and went to steamboating.
“I staid at school, got a good educa-
tion, and am a painter, while Mark is a
millionaire. It is a scandalous fact that
as a boy from 10 to 16 years of age,
Mark was a dull, stupid fellow, and it
was the wonder of the town as to what
end would be his. He was pointed out
by mothers as a boy that would ‘never
amount to nothin’,” if he did not act-
ually come to some bad end. And he
was the most homely lad in school, too.
Pranks? I can think of a dozen of ‘em,
and his ‘Huckleberry Finn’ is full of
Hannibal episodes worked over. I read
that with as much interest as I would a
diary of Hannibal kept during my
school days. Mark is three years older
than myself, but he was alwaysin a
class of boys two or three years younger
than himself.” —S8%. Joseph (Mo.) News.
Thomas Jefferson.
A Pen Picture of the Third President
of the United States.
Jefferson was very tall, six feet two
and a half inches in height, sandy-com-
plexioned, shy in manner, seeming cold,
awkward in attitude, and with little in
his bearing that suggested command.
* * % One of the greatest of modern
writers first made himself famous by de-
claring that society was founded on
cloth; and Jefferson, at moments of
some interest in his career as President
seemed to regard his peculiar style of
dress as a matter of political importance,
while the Federalist newspapers never
ceased ridiculing the corduroy small-
clothes, red plush waistcoat and sharp-
toed boots with which he expressed his
contempt for fashion. * * * For
eight years this tall, loosely-built, some-
what stiff figure, in red waistcoat and
yarn stocking, slippings down at the
heel, and clothes that seemed too small
for him, may be imagined sitting on
one hip, with one shoulder high above
the other, talking almost without ceas-
ing to his visitors at the White House.
His skin was thin and delicate, peeling
from his face on exposure to the sun,
giving it a tettered appearance. This
sandy face, with hazel eyes and sunny
aspect; this loose, shackling person;
this rambling, brilliant conversation,
belonged to the controlling influences
of American history, more necessary to
the story than three-fourths of the of-
ficial papers, which only hid the truth.
Jefferson’s personality during these
eight years appeared to be the Govern-
ment, and impressed itself like that of
Bonaparte, although by a different pro-
cess, on the mind of the Nation. [n
the village simplicity of Washington
society he was more than king, for he
was alone in social as well as political
pre-eminence. Except the British Lega-
tion, no house in Washington was open
to general society ; the whole mass of
politicians, even the Federalists, were
dependent on Jefferson and ‘‘the Palace”
for amusement. * * * He showed
his powers at their best in his own house
where among friends as genial and cheer-
ful as himself his ideas could flow freely,
and could be discussed with sympathy.
Such were the men with whom he sur-
rounded himself by choice, and none
but such were invited to enter his Cabi
net.— Henry Adams’ “History of Jef-
ferson's Administration.”
——The Pittsburg Labor Tribune,
edited by a Republican, says that there
is now only two cents 4d ton difference in
the labor cost of producing Bessemer
steel in this country and in England.
But the $17 a ton tariff tax must be
kept up to ‘‘protect American labor’
against the two cents a ton. Ye gods!
what is this tariff business coming to,
any way? ’
Electrical Execution Described.
The preparations necessary for electri-
cal execution are very simple. The con-
demned criminal’s cell is visited by the
prison authorities and his hands and feet
are saturated with the weak potash sol-
ution which so rapidly overcomes th»
skin's resistance; during this space of
thirty seconds or less, his electrical resis-
tance may be measured, though Mr
Edison’s researches in this line have
rendered even this unnecessary. Sh:d
in wet felt slippers, the convict walks
to the chair and is instantly strapped
into position ; his feet and hand: are
again immersed in the potash solution
contained in a toot tub connscted to
one pole and in hand basins connected
to the other. With this perfect contact
there is no possibility of burning the
flesh and thus reducing the effect of the
current upon the body. Dials of elec-
trical instruments indicate that all the
apparatus is in perfect order and record
the pressureat every moment. The depu-
ty sheriff closes the switch. Respiration
and heart action instantly cease, and
electricity, with a velocity equaling that
{ of light, destroys lite before nerve sensa-
tion, at a speed of only one hundred
and eighty feet per second, can reach
the brain. There is a stiffening of the
muscles, which gradually relax after
five seconds have passed ; but there is
no struggle and no sound. The majes-
ty of the law has been vindicated, but
no physical pain hasbeen caused.—Har-
old P. Brown, in North American Re-
Herrmann's Poker Story.
“I never play cards in earnest,” said
Hermann after the show last night.
“Those who knew me wouldn’t play
with me anyhow, and of course, I would
not take any advantage of those who
don’t. But 1 remember one night, nota
thousand years ago, that in order to
amuse a few friends, I sat down to a
quiet little game of poker. You see, it
was this way’: I met the friends, and
was introduced to an innocent-looking
youth of the dude persuasion, whose
fuee was as vacant in expression as a
pound of putty. This youth had been
bragging of his powers as a poker play-
er, and had made the others so tired
that they whispered to me to take the
conceit out of him for the fun there was
in it. T was ready, and we sat down.”
“In Philadelphia ?”
“Bless you, no. They don’t play
poker in Philadelphia. This wasin——
Wel’, when we began the game I allow-
ed the youngster to win in order to get
him interested, and the better to enjoy
the circus, the others dropped out and
my victim and I had the table to our-
selves. Of course I was to give him
back whatever I won from him—that
was understood. We didn’t play with
chips, as we had none, but made the
game a quarter ante and a dollar limit,
so that we could use the money without
making any awkward change. Every
time my callow friend won a pot he put
the silver and bills in his pocket and
would chipin the stuff’ as he needed it.
After he had won a respectable pile I
began to get my work in, and by hand-
ling and dealing the cards in my own
peculiar way 1 soon had his pile in a
fair way to innocuous desuetude. Oc-
casionally I would let him win, just to
keep the fun up, and I don’t know but
what I enjoyed my opponent’s inno-
cence as much as did my friends. But
all things must have an end. Finally I
cleaned him out much to his surprise,
and ordered a bottle. My friends could
not keep in any longer.
“I say, old man.” said one, “do you
know who you’ve been playin’ with ?”’
“Yes,” replied my victim calmly:
“Hermann, the magician, and he's a
good player.”
This was somewhat of a surprise all
around. But I laughed and handed him
back the money I had won. He
wouldn't takeit. No sir. Said I had
won it; had he won mine he would have
kept it, and under no consideration
would he take it back. That was not
his way of plaving poker. It was no
use for me to protest, to teil him that I
had deliberately robbed him. He was
sorry that he had got in with a man who
didn’t play a square game, but that it
was his lookout. He ought to have seen
that he was being fleeced, but as he had
been fleeced and with his eyes open, too,
he was not the man to squeal. I tell
vou I telt mean. I didn’t think it half
so funny then as I did before. But all
I could do or say made no impression
on my vietim, and with a dignified bow
he lett us,”
“All TI can do,” T said to one of my
friends, ‘will be to give this money to
some charitable institution.’ :
“Then I gave the waiter one of the
bills I had won to pay for the wire. He
came back with it, and the information
that it was a counterfeit. Yes, sir. That
guileless youth had won my good money
and rung in over a hundred dollars’
worth of paper on me that wasn’t worth
a cent a pound. I'm pretty good on
handling cards, but poker is a mighty
uncertain game--mighty uncertain. —
Philadelp aia Inquire.
He Was Big Enough for Three.
There is a story of a lately deceased
portly Bishop, who never lost sight of
himself and his importance to the flock.
He was a kindly, good-hearted old gen-
tleman ; but it cannot be denied that his
bump of self-esteem was abnormally
developed. Once, while making the
rounds of his conference his’ duties
brought kim to a certain church, and a
friend persuaded him to make a pastoral
call under somewhat unusual circum-
stances. An estimable lady had lost her
reason. The Bishop was asked to call
upon her in the hope that he might say
something which would rouse her from
her despondent condition. At the house
the Bishop was ushered into the parlor,
and there he ensconced his portly frame
in a large old-fasiiioned chair, and await-
ed with serene benignity the appearance
of the lady.
The door opened, and it was immedi-
ately evident that she was in one of her
queer spells. She came toward the
Bishop, walked slowly around him, ey-
ing him closely, and peered timidly at
him. Finally she seemed to summon
all her courage, and said in a frightened
way as her glance dwelt againon his
well-rounded form... ‘Please, sir, are
vou the Trinity ?”
cured by Dr. Sage’s Remedy.
Senatorial Tipplers.
What the Senators Like in the W y of
Many of the Senators do not like to
go into the public restaurants and take
their refreshments. In the Senate cafe
at room is kept apart for the use of
Senators only, and the vulgar public is
not expected to break in there and
watch the great men eat and drink.
But the vulgar public does break in
and orders its own luncheons and cold
tea precisely as if it had a right there,
says the writer of the Washington letter
to the Philadelphia News.
Robbed of this privacy, the good old
Senators who like a quiet “nip” are
thrown upon the resources of the com-
mittee rrooms. The resources of the
committee rooms are usually equal to
the emergency.
Many sensational stories have been
written about the gorgeous drinking
places kept in the Senate committee
rooms. As a matter of fact, the buffets
are usually very simple affairs. No at-
tempt is made at display, and the stock
of glassware is usually limited to three
or four pieces. Two or three decanters
stand on the shelf in a secluded corner,
with the glasses and the hydrant water
conveniently near. That is all.
In Senator Pendleton’s day the Li-
brary Committee had a tolerably exten-
sive array of glassware, but that was
owing to Mr. Pendleton’s fondness for
fancy, mixed drinks, and to his posses-
sion of a messenger who was an artist in
that line.
Mr. Pendleton himself knew all about
the mysteries of absinthe. vermouth,
maraschino and benedictine, and, it is
said, could mix a patriotic red, white
and blue pousse cafe.
‘When Senator’ Pendleton left the
Committee Senator Beck took charge,
and he reduced the stock of pretty
glassware to a basket-covered demijohn
and a tin cup.
Mr. Mahone used to keep some very
fine fruit brandies in his committee-
room, and Senator Edmunds is and for
many years has been a moderate drink-
er of brandy. Mr. Riddleberger took
his liquor, good Virginia whisky, from
the mouth of a quart flask, without the
interposition of cup or glass.
There is quite a rivalry between sever-
al of the Senators as to the quality of the
liquor which they keep on tap for their
friends. It is conceded that up to this
time Senator Blackburn has carried off
the prize with some very fine old hand-
made sour mash from his Kentucky
Senator Voorhees is one of the best
judges of whisky in the Capitol, and
Senator Walcott, of Colorado, %is an
authority on fancy drinks.
Lincoln Skinned Him.
How the Lamented President Won a
Widow's Suit.
“If I can free this case from techni-
calities and get it properly swung to the
jury, I'll win it,” Abraham Lincoln
used to say, when confident of the jus-
tice of the cause he represented. He
was weak in defending a wrong case, for
he was mentally and morally too honest
to explain away the bad points of a
cause by ingenious sophistry.
Instead of attempting to bolster up
such a cause, he abandoned’it. Once he
abandoned a case in open court, being
convinced that it was unjust. A less
fastidious lawyer took Mr. Lineoln’s
place and won the case.
Mr. Herndon, in hi “Life of Lin-
coln,” tells a story which exhibits his
ability in getting a case he believed in
“properly swung to the jury.”
A pension agent, named Wright, se-
cured for the widow of a Revolutionary
soldier a pension of $400, of which sum
he retained one-halt as his fee. The pen-
sioner, a crippled old woman, hobbled
into Lincoln’s office and told her story.
It stirred Lincoln up; he brought suit
against the agent, and on the day of the
trial he said :
“I am going to skin Wright, and get
that money back.”
He did so. The old woman told her
story to the jury. Lincoln in his plea
drew a picture of the hardships of Val-
ley Forge, describing the soldiers as
creeping barefooted over the ice, and
marking their tracks by their bleeding
feet. Then he contrasted the hardships
of the soldiers, endured for their country
with the hardened action of the agent in
fleecing the old woman of one-half of
her pension,
He was merciless; the members of the
jury were in team, and the agent
writhed in his seat under the castigation
of Lincoln's denunciation. The
juryreturned & verdict in her favor for
the full amount, and Lincoln made no
charge for his services.
His notes for the argument were
unique :
“No contract—Not professional ser-
vices — Unreasonable charge—Money
retained by Def’t not given by PI'ff- -
Revolutionary War—Describe Valley
Forge privations—Ice—Soldiers’ bleed-
ing feet—Pl'fl’s husband —Soldier leav-
ing fer army—Skin Def't-—Close.”’——
Globe Democrat.
Establishing Their Genealogy:
It was at the depot in Macon, Ga. A
colored man from the country stood
looking at the locomotive when the col-
ored fireman called out :
“Hey, vo’ nigger, what yo’ lookin’
“Who's nigger ?
Vo! Is.”
“So is vo.”
“Look out, dar, nigger.
no sass ofi’n shucks!”
“Yo! is shucks yo'self.”
“Hump! Do yo’ know what my fad-
der sold fur befo’ de wah?”
“Fo'teen hundred dollars in gold, sah,
an’ dey reckoned dat was $200 under
price. Who was yo’ fadder, sah?”
“He was de gem’lan who bought vo’
fadder fur a waitah, sah, an’ he allus
lowed he paid a thousand dollars mo’
dan he was worth.”
demanded the
1 doan’ taka
a ————————
“What are yer doin,” you young
rascal ?”7 said a farmer to a remarkably
small boy, on finding him standing un-
der a tree in nis orchard with an apple
in his hand.
+ Please, sir, I was only goin’ to put
Chromic nasal catarrh positively | this "ere apple back on the tree, sir; it
had fallen down, sir.’ —Judge. .
The Biggest Earthly House.
The ‘‘Friehaus” (free house,) situated
{in Vieden, a suburb of Vienna, is said
| to be the most spacious building on the
| globe. Within its walls a whole city of
| human beings live and work, sleep and
| eat. It contains, in all, between 1,200
- and 1,500 rooms, divided into upward of
, four hundred dwelling apartments of
| from four to six rooms each. This im-
mense house has thirteen court-yards—
five open and eight covered—and a large
garden within its walls. A visitor to
the building relates that he once spent
two hours in looking for a man known
to reside in the house. Scarcely a trade,
handiwork or profession can be named
which is not represented in this enor-
mous building. Gold and silver work-
ers, makers of tancy articles, lodging-
house keepers, book-binders, agents,
turners, hatters, officers, lock-smiths,
joiners, tutors, scientific men, govern-
ment clerks. three bakers, eighteen tail-
ors, twenty-nine shomakers and many
other tradesmen live in it. The house
has thirty-three staircases and fronis on
three streets and one square. One day
the postman’s delivery has amounted to
asmany as 1,000 pieces in this single but
Titanic house. To address a letter to
the person it is intended for does not as-
sure the sender that the person to whom
it is addressed will ever receive it. In
order to “make assurance doubly sure,”
all letters addressed to the ‘‘Freihaus”
must be provided. with both the given
and the sur-name of the person for
whom intended, the number of the
staircase and the number. of the apart-
ment, otherwise it is as apt to go astray
as though addressed to a city unprovid-
ed with directions as to street and num-
ber. At the present time 2,120 persons
live in this immense building.
The Man Who Laughs.
Dr. Peppenbrook writes to a St. Louis
paper that, contrary to the general im-
pression, wrinkles are caused by laugh-
ing instead of worry. It is just as well
that this statement should be given as
much publicity as possible because there
has been a good deal of sympathy wasted
if the doctor isright. A person whose
face is all wrinkled up is currently be-
lieved to have passed through a sea of
troubles. The reason for this probably
grew out of the fact that, when the
hands are kept under water for any
Jength of time, the flesh becomes crink-
led. The natural supposition was that
the skin of the face would do likewise
when subjected to the waters of adversi-
ty. There seems to be reason in this
deduction. Yet the doctor cannot be
wrong or he would not be right. And
the wrinkled ones of the race must now
be considered as the people who have
had a good time. The creases and fur-
rows mark the rounds of pleasure
they have taken, and it will be danger-
cus for any joker to try any chestnut on
them unless he is proof against the chest-
nut bell.— Herald of Heath.
Oracular Utterances.
They need much whom nothing will
Nothing overcomes passion more than
Earnestness in a good cause can not
stop short of fame.
Victory is foreshadowed by the effort
put forth to bring itabout.
People sure of their own social posi-
tion are never afraid to condescend.
Often the “nicest kind of people’ be-
come snobs as soon as they get money.
A helping word to one in trouble is of-
ten like a switch on a railroad track, but
one inch between wreck and smooth
rolling prosperity.
Time washes away the customs and
opinions of mankind, but human nature
remains the same in its essential quali-
ties or principles.
Many persons consider themselves
friendly when they are only officious.
They counsel not so much that you may
become wise as that they may be known
as teachers of wisdom.
The power of a strong intellect is
mightier than that of kings. Wealth
and station unconsciously yield obe-
dience to it. All instinctively honor it,
and are influenced by it.
Health Hints.
Don’t shake a hornet’s nest to ses if
any of the family are at home.
Don’t try to take the right of way
from an express train at a railroad cross-
Don’t go near a draft. If a draft
comes toward you, run away. A sight
draft is the most dangerous.
Don’t blow in the gun your grand-
father carried in the war of 1812. It is
more dangerous now than it was then.
Don’t hold a wasp by the other end
while you thaw it out in front of the
stove to see if it is alive, It is generally
Don’t try to persuade a bull-log to
give up a yard of which he is in posses-
sion. Possession in a bull-dog is ten
points of the law.
Don’t go to bed with your boots on.
This is one of the most unhealthy ha-
bits that a man, especially a married
man, can be addicted to.
Fashion in Fragments,
The small bonnet will survive as a
chapeau de theatre and reception cap
after it is dead for street wear.
Charming evening gowns for young
ladies are made of asparagus green veil-
ing trimmed with white, black or green,
and gold lace.
Even Carrick capes are made of tar-
tan, lined with a matching or contrast-
ing silk, and trimmed with a deep
turn-downed collar of Astrakhan or oth-
er fur.
The tartans or plaids most in vogue
are of dark shades of green, brown and
gray, combined with rare skill, and fine
streaks of vivid yellow, red, white and
Apricot, a lovely yellowish shade of
pink, is in high favor for evening silks,
tu'les, mousselines de chiffon, mousse-
lines de soie, fish nets and other evening
Pelisses lined with silk are frequently
made of two kinds of tartan, and then
combined with velvet or plush for the
"collar and cape, the sleeves or cuffs, and
pockets. Astrakhan is also seen on such
long wrap:.—New York Sun.