Bemoraiic falda Bellefonte, Pa., December 13, 1889 THERE COMES A TIME. There comes a time when we grow old And like a sunset down the sea, Slope gradual, and the night winds cold, Come whispering sad and chillingly ; And locks are gray As winter's day ; And eyes of saddest blue behold The leaves all weary drift away, The lips of faded coral say, There comes a time when we grow old. There comes atime when joyous hearts, Which leaped as leaps the langing main, Are dead to all save memory, A prisoner in his dungeon chain; A dawn of day Has passed away, The neen hath into darkness rolled, And by the embers wan and gray, I hear a voice in whisper say, There comes a time when we grow old. There comes a time when manheeds’ prime Is shrouded in the mist of years, And beauty fading like a dream, Hath passed away .in silent tears ; And then how dark! But oh! the spark! That kindled youth tohues of gold, Still burns with clear and steady ray, And fond affections, lingering say, There comes a time when we grow old. There comes a time when langhing spring And go’den summer cease to be, And we put on the autumn robe To tread the last declivity ; But now the slope, With rosy Hope, Beyond the sunset we behold, Another dawn with fairer light, J While wetchers whisper through the night; There is a time when we grow old. THE VELVET BALL DRESS, Mandy, it kinder seems as if we'd ought to go to this here charity ball. We don’t need to bestingy with money now we've got it,and besides I've got a hankering to go.” “Nathan Skinner, be you in your senses 7" asked his wife. “Mandy, that's just where I be. What's to hinder ?” “Well, we're a pretty-couple to think of going to a ball. How old was you last birthday ?” : “Mandy, you needn't be throwing it up to a feller that he’s getting on the shady side of life. I'm willing to ad- mit that I ain’t quite as young as I was once, but you ain’t se-old as I be. It’s on your account I was thinking of je “Well, Nathan don’t think of it any more. It's foolish.” Nathan slept very poorly that night. He was thinking of the ball. Poor, foolish fellow, he wanted Mandy to have one more chance to shine. Ie said to himself: “Why, they couldn’t none of the girls compare with her. I'd like to know what's been the geod of our coming to town if we ain’t a-going to git inter sassiety. I've allers want- ed to move in the best circles and when there's a chance to git acquainted with the Hallams and MeDonals and all the rest, what mmust Mandy do but get stub- born.” He had set his heart on going, and he could net bear to give it up. At breakfast the next morning while Mandy baked griddles full of erisp, brown cakes, and Nathan heroically devoured them as they floated in rich amber sirup, he spoke: “Mandy, I've been thinking it's our duty to go.” “To go to avhat, Nathan 2” said Mrs. Skinner, absently. She was thinking she must get something to tempt Na- than’s appetite. Ife never stopprd off with four griddles when we was up home. It must be the air ain't so good here in the city, she thought. “Why, the charity ball,” said Na- than impatiently interrupting her reve- rie. Recalling herself: “I remember you did speak af it?” “Speak of it? I say we must go! ‘He that givetl to the peor lendeth to the Lord, you know. (Jur money may be took from us if we don’t use it right.” “Well, I can’t helpit. I'd like to help some of them awfal poor folks, but I can’t go to the ball, and, Nathan, I wouldn’t quote seripture to get me to 0. 8 “You've got to, Mandy. I've set my boot down that we'll go, and I won't be disputed.” If I were to tell you that Mandy! never intended in the least to go, you, would wonder why she meekly answer- | ed: “Very well, Nathan, if you are so . set on going, I suppose we'll go.” Mandy was a wise woman, and she | had not lived with Nathan Skinner all these years without learning to let him have his own way, apparently. : “Good” Now, Mandy, that sounds right. You know you will have to have a new dress and some other fix- in’s,” “Nathan Skinner. you are extrava- gant. Such things are sinful. I shall Just wear my black silk.” “No, you don’t do no such thing. I ain’t been reading in the papers late- ly for nothing. 1f you'd noticed you'd a seen me studying them new fashions. What was I looking fer’, a new gown for my Mandy.” Nathan leaned back in his chair, shut his eyes and said, meditatively : “1 see ye a standin’ on that ball-room floor a wavin an ostrich feather fan, your back hair put up on the back of your head, your front hair cut rather short and wavy like, and a dress—Ilet’s see, what'll your dressbe? I think a purty red velvet, and you'll wear gloves, Mandy, long ones, to reach plum to your shoulder.” He opened his eyes and said, brisk- ly: “I'll go with you and help you get things ; von see I know your taste is pretty sover and I aint agoing to have you look glum. We will have to get it to-day, Mandy. After you get the dishes done up, we'll go down and see what we can find.” That day they were seen to enter every dry goods store in the city. Na- than invariably took the lead. “Trot down your best velvet,” he would say, “I don’t care how much it costs.” The shade of velvet which he want- ed was not to be found. He had an exaggerated notion in his mind, glean- ed from some very flashy novel, as to the wonderful richnesss which velvet might possess. A disappointed couple they started home that night. “Let's give it up, Nathan.” “Well, I rather think I won't. Thev keep more variety in them big stores down in New York, don’t they? I'm going to send there.” ; He composed a letter beginning, “Dear Sirs,” and then there was a long pause. The letter when finished did not satisfy him, but be described the thing he wanted as near as he could. Then he enclosed a liberal check and directed it to one of the prominent New York houses. “We kin git yer other fixin’s here, I s'pose,” he said. The next night after supper, with an artfulness worthy of a diplomat, Na- than began to talk of ‘old rimes.” Times when they had danced together. When he thought he had cautiously led up to the subject, he said: “Man- dy, I was practicin’ a little up stairs, and I find I have kinder forgotten how some of them steps goes. It won't do no hurt to try them a little. Come on, Mandy, I shau’t dance myself, but I want you to practice a little go you will be good and limber.” Nathan held out his hand and M:n- dy took it. Nathan's movements, -al- though rather stiff and awkward, show- ed his exceeding enjoyment as he whis- tled old tunes, calling off between “promenade all,” “join hands,” “sach- ay partners,” &e. Mandy's dancing was something pleasant to see. Her plump pretty figure, with the lines of youthful grace still in it, showed to great advantage as she took the steps with Nathan, prov- ing that she had not forgotten. The dress came. Nathan was a. little disappointed, but Mandy was pleased and almost wished she could go to the ball. Nathan, having ideas of his own on the subject, they searched the whole city over before they found the right person to undertake the making of the dress. Then Nathan said to her: “Now I want it to fit amazin’. You can cut it a little low, for Mandy has such a pretty neck. Make it stylish. Money don’t need to hender.” He stopped every day to see how the making progressed. Just four days before the ball the dress came home in a large box. Man- dy was looking at it and wondering if she could not wait and let Nathan open it, when a city ambulance drove up to the door, and as Mandy with an agonized face opened the door they brought Nathan in to her. “(), Nathan! what's the matter?” she cried, when she knew he was not killed. “J fell on a piece of ice and broke ‘my leg, they say. ‘Oh, Mandy, I'm afraid you can’t-.go to the ball,” and he groaned. “Do you suppose I care for that when you're hurt ?”” said Mandy. When the doctors had set the leg and told him it meant three months in bed, and when he “felt a little easier they talked it all over. “I’m sorry on your account, Mandy. T did so want you to go, but yeu've never heen very much sot on it. I guess you was right. We ain't just the ones to go. I see it now, but I thoucht you'd enjoy it.” “I never meant to go. I knew we'd be made fun of, but that dress did al- most tempt me. 1 hadn't got the box opened when you was brought in. I wouldn't care, but it was awful foolish of you, Nathan, to getit; I wonder I let you.” “You couldn’t fault yourself, Mandy, and I ain’tsorry. but IT did want that dress to go to the ball.” Later Ruth Brown, their pretty young neighbor, came in to sit awhile. Ruth’s family were not rich, but they moved in the best society. Ruth had heen much pleased with the Skinners. Their domestic life interested her. She liked to watch them together. She talked on and on of the recep- ition,a concertand the latest news of the charity ball. “T want so togo—Frank Mitchell ask- ed me to. 1 ought to bave told him no, but I hoped there would be some way out, and [ have even been wicked enou~h to pray for something to wear. Mamma and I have overlooked every single article of clothing we possess— there is positively nothing left. Frank | is coming up to-night and I shall tell him T can’t go beeause I have nothing to wear,” and poor little Ruth burst into tears. “I'm provoked at myself for telling my troubles here when you have so mueh to bear, but I did so want to go,” the sobs subsiding. #Nathan,” said Mes. Skinner, “you think Ruth and me’s about the same size? Just a moment,” and Mandy left the room. She returned with the big white box. When it was uncovered Ruth opened her eyes in wonder. “Oh! Oh!” she cried, “you beautiful thing !" Yes, it was beautiful. Even Nathan was satisfied. “Now, Ruth, you run upstairs and try it on and then come down and show us,” said Mrs. Skinner. “But where did you get it?’ asked Ruth. “I got it for Mandy to wear to the ball,” said Nathan. Then between them they told the whole story. “I'm thankful we was kept from making fools of ourselves,” said Man- y. When Ruth came down, managing her train with wonderful skill, Nathan raised himself on his elbow and ex- claimed: “Well, if that ain’ a stun- ner.” Mandy walked over, threw her arms around her neck and kissed her as she said: “There's the gloves and other fixin’s too.” ’ So the wine colored velvet went to the ball in spite of fate. Frank Mitchell had been counting on that opportunity for so long, and there was a question asked and an-! swered that night that made two peo- ple happy. Ruth still persits in saying: “I owe it all to the Skinners and the yelvet dress got for his wife to wear to the | ball.” ; 1 i Practical Jokes. | A practical joke is a sort of trick play- | ed by one person upon awmother, in the | hope of making him uncomfortable and ! ridiculous. To put one’s friend in an | absurb situation, to interfere with his | rights, to do something which will hurt him in bedy or mind, not very deeply , perhaps, yet really, is the object of the | practical joker. I have never in my | life been able to see the leust good, the least innocent fam, in practical jokes, | but I have seen a great deal of evil and | mischief resulting from them. Some years ago, just at dusk, a maid | servant in a certain beautiful home took | 1t into her head that it would be rare fun | to dress herself in a sheet and frighten | another of the servants. So she slipped | into the grounds, hid herself behind a | tree, and waited her opportunity. Dane- | ing merrily along singing with a voice | like a bird, came a sweet little daughter | of the house, who had been sent on an | errand to the lodge at the end of the ! green avenue. The merry child, sensi- | tive to her finger-tips, caught a glimpse | of the straight, stark figure skulking be- | hind the oaks, was so frightened that a | Sew months afterward she died—of ner- vous shock, the physicians said, which then began its fatal work. In one of our New England colleges a vouth who had been studying hard that he might enter the Freshman Class was startled from his sleep at midnight by a party of fellows in masks, who proceeded to make sport for themselves by the stu- pid process called “hazing” their com- panion. They had their silly fun, but it is to be hoped that none of the num- ber engaged in it can ever think of that night without a pang, for it made the youth insane.—Harper's Young Peo- ple. He Met a Man With a Lead of Corn. I started out from the hotel at Pater- ‘sen to drive across the country to a small town, in company with a parlor organ agent. He had been drinking pretty freely, and as soon as clear of the town observed : “You never saw me fight, of course, but 1 will soon give you an exhibiticn of what I can do. I feel in the mood this morning, and I'm going to lick the dirst man I can pick a fuss with.” “I wouldn't get into any trouble,” 1 sugested. “Oh, there won't be any trouble about it. I'll bring it around so as to have the other man begin it, and then I'll polish him off and drive on.” About two miles out we met a young farmer driving into town with a wagon box full of corn. He gave more than half the road, but the organ man pulled up, gave me a nudge, and exclaimed : “Young man, do you want to run over us ?”’ “No sir.” “You act as if you did. It is evident that you think yourself very smart, but yowll meet a man some day who'll teach you a lesscn.” “How,.! “By giving you a good licking.” “Perhaps you want to try it ?”’ “What! Don’t you talk that way to me !” shouted the agent, as he nugged me to signify that the leaven was work- ing. . “If you do, just come down here!” continued the young man as he climb- ed over the wheel. “I think [ will” replied the agent. “I'm a peaceful man, and I don’t be- lieve in force, but in this case I regard it as my duty to teach you a great moral lesson.” He handed me the lines, jumped down and squared off, and I don’t b- lieve it was two minutes before he lay in the May weeds in the diteh, licked to insensibility. The young fellow knocked him out with the very first blow, and then sat down and hammer- ed him blind. When he let up he nod- ded to me, climbed upon the corn, and as far as I could sce him he never looked back. I worked over the agent a quarter of an hour to revive him, and another quarter to get him into the buggy, and it was only as I drove on that he rallied «nough to dreamily inquire: “Will you please tell me whether T am selling lightning rods or wind mills, and also what my name is ?— New York Sun. Nominated Himself and Was Elected. Henry A. Cook, of Leominster Mass., wanted to be elected to the Legislature, so early last October he published a no- tice to that effect in a local paper, hired a hall, and on October 8th placed him- self in nomination before a convention of enthusiastic citizens. He asked no one to ratify the nomina- tion but he ratified it himself. He told his constituents why he was a good man for the honor, and that, being sensible people, he knew they would take his ad- vice and vote for him. He said there were now eight or ten candidates in the Republican party ready to go before the convention, and that he intended to spike all their guns by telling every mean thing he had ever done, together with some of his good deeds, and thus forestall the possi- bility of being slandered by his enemies. He began with his birth, and showed that he had been a hostler, a peddler, a tramp, a groceryman, a stableman, a chairmaker, a combmaker, a carpenter, a blacksmith, manufacturer, a gambler, a thief, a large real-estate dealer, a law- yer, a detective, and that his present oc- cupation was seeking the office of rep- resentative. He wanted it understood that he was a total abstrainer without being a Prohibitionist. The humorand frankness of the would-be legislator made him hosts of friends. Heran as an Independent, and was | elected by a plurality of thirty-four | votes over the Republican nominee in a | strong Republican district. Ir ——C—————C—— i subject in which Points for Husbands. Do not jest with your wife upen a there is danger of wounding her feelings. Remember that she treasures eyery word you utter, though you neverthink of it again. Do not speak of some virtue in another man’s wife to remind your own of a fault. Do not reproach your wife with personal defects, for, if she has sensi- bility, you inflict a wound difficult to heal. Do not upbraid her in the pres- ence of a third person, nor entertain her with praising the beanty and accornplish- ments of other women. Do not be stern and silent in your house, ard remarka- ble for sociability elsewhere. Remember that your wife has as much need of recreation as yourself, and de- vote a portion, at least, of your leisure hours to such sceiety and amusements as she may join. By sodoing you will se- cure her smiles and increase her affec- tion. Do not, ty being too exact in pec-- uniary matters, make your wife feel her dependence upon your hounty. Ittends to lessen her dignity of character and does not increase her esteem for you. If she is a sensible women she should be ac- quainted with your business and know your income, that she may rerulate her household expenses accordingly. Do not withhold this knowledge in order to cover your own extravagance. Women have a keen perception. Be sure she will ‘discover your selfishness, and, though no word is spoken, from that mement her respect is lessened and her confidence diminished, pride wounded cions created. From that moment is vour domestic comfort on the wane.— Domestic Monthly. Old Jone's Philosophy. Modesty is a good rudder, but «a bad engine. Lickin’ may teach a boy to dance but not to do sums. You may get, learnin’ at school, but sense comes nat'ral or not at all. You just bring a couple of little quar- rels into vour family an’ they’ll breed like sparrows. Don’t go back on your friends when you're in luck, nor give away your um- berrel just because the sun shines. You can’t always judge a man by the blood he’s got. Corn bread an’ whisky come from the same family. A runaway horse is worse’n a run- away wife, because it sometimes takes you with it. Sometimes w'en a man seems to be bavir’ the worst luck he’s only getting ready to come out, like a log from a saw mill, worth double price. Don’t send a fox to tend geese or a cat to skim milk unless they have a good reputation for honesty. Remember this w'en you put your money in the bank— Detroit Free Press. Got Her Ring. The Williamsport S. and B. states that on Saturday night a drummer ex- hibited to a circle of friends at the Hep- burn House a ring which he said had been given him by a girl who clerks in a Williamsport store. The drummer named the girl and advertised his ac- quaintance with her in a manner that did little credit to his own appreciation of decency, and less eredit to the girl's common sense. It appears that on Thanksgiving Day he was with the girl, and in some manner secured the ring, which he kept, as the girl's friends say, against her will. Now comes a young man who says he gave the ring to the girl for an engage- ment ring, and his friends requested the drummer to give itup. The drummer refused to do so, but came to time when an arrest for theft was held over his head. The affair has caused a great deal of indignation amung those conver- sant with the facts, and the drummer is roundly denounced and deservedly, for holding up the girl’s name to pubiic gossip in a public place. In the mean- time, what excuse can be given for the girl who while engaged to another man, permits herself to entertain a diummer, or any other man, for that matter ? A AEC A Boy Eaten by an Alligator. Tom Wahshington, in company with his father and another colored man went fishing the other day in Dennis’s mill pond in Camden County, S. C. After supplying themselves with a half boat-load of the finny tribe, the party headed their boat for the landing. Just before starting, however, Tom was or- dered to change from the prow to the stern of the boat. In attempting to do this he fell overboard. Before he could regain the boat a monster alligator arose to the surface and fastened his jaws about the boy’s body. The boy began to shriek and cry most pitifully, and called to his father for help. Human assistance, however, could avail nothing, and the boy was carried beneath the waters. The two colored men then returned to the landing and told the story over to the community, and, securing a party, put back to the fatal scene. The men were all armed, and after reaching the spot, a little dog, brought along for the purpose, was thrown into the water as a bait for the alligator. No sooner did the dog strike the water than the mon- ster made an attack uponit. At a given signal everybody fired upon the huge animal, killing him instantly. The alligator’s body was then taken ashore and cut open. In its entrails human flesh and clothing were found. ———Inthe Ukraine, Russia, the maid- en is the one that does all the courting. ‘When she falls in love with a man she goes to his house and tells him the state of her feelings. If he reciprocates, all is well, and a formal marriage is arrange 1. If, however he is unwilling, she remains there, hoping to coax him into a better mind. The poor fellow cannot treat her with the least discourtesy or turn her out, for her friends would be sure to A Good Platform. ! prospectus : . whieh does net mean enforcing total . abstinence on one’s neighbor; in per- ‘girl has to bide the motions of a hesi- ' dered unconscious immediately and Kate Field says, in her Washington “I believe in home indus- tries; in a reduced tariff; in civil service reform; in extending our commerce; in American shipping; in strengthening our army and navy: in temperance sonal liberty.” avenge the insult. His best chance, therefore, if he is really determined that he won't, is to leave his home and stay away as long asshe is in it. This is certainly a very peculiar way of turning a man out of honse and home. On the Isthmus of Darien either sex can do the courting, with the natural result that al- most everybody gets married. There is not quite the ‘same chance where the! tating or bashful swain. t and a thousand perhaps unjust, suspic- | Turn Your Clothing. I will tell you a secret by which you can buy first class clothes and make them last so long that they will be cheaper in the end than clothes at half price. I learned it from a gentleman who is always well dressed, and who I thought must pay a large amount of money for his clothes. The plan is this : When vou go to a tailor, or buy a suit of clothes ready made, take care that both sides of the goods are service *- ble. Most of thé cloth made can be turned and present entirely different patterns: ~~ After you have worn the clothes until they appear old, take them | to your tailor, or any other, have him | rip them up, turn them and sew them to- | gether. This can be done at a cost for a suit of clothes of less than $5, and you will be astonished at the handsome ap- pearance of the clothes. To prove this look at the inside of the cloth in the coat | or pants you wear. I do not care how soiled the outside may be, the inside will seem new. Itis on the came prin- | ciple that ladies have last season’s dresses made over. More «entlemen | than you can imagine have their clothes turned. The great diffculty is with the ! pockets in pants. The clothes should | in the first place have the pockets on the | sides and only one back pocket.—Inter- view in St. Louis Democrat. The Miseries of a Mean Man. | I wonder what a mean man thinks about when he goes to bed. | ‘When he turns out the light and lies | down. When the darkness closes in | about him and he is alone, and compell- | ed to be hone:t to himself. And not a | bright thought, not a manly act, not a word of blessing, not a grateful look come to bless him again. Nota penny dropped into the outstretched palm of poverty, nor the balm of a loving word dropped into an aching heart; no sun- beam of encouragement cast upon a struggling life; no strong right hand | of fellowship reached out to help some fallen manto his feet—when none of | these things come to him as the “God | bless you’ of the departed day, how he mus’ hate himself and sleep on the other side of the bed. When the only victory he can think of is some mean victory in which he has wronged some | neighbor. No wonder he always sneers | when he tries to smile. How pure and fair and good all the rest of the world must look to him, and how cheerless and dusky and dreary must his own hearth appear. Why, even one lone, isolated mean act of meanness is enough to scatter cracker crumbs in the bed of | the average ordinary man, and what | must be the feelings of a man whose | whole life is given up to mean acts? | ‘When there is so much suffering and | heartache and misery in the world, any- | how, why should you add one pound of | wickedness or sadness to the general bur- den. Don’t be mean, my boy. Sufler ! injustice a thousand times rather than commit it once.— Burdette. Sometimes Japanese Girls. | The Japanese girls are wonderfully | beautiful, and their hair would ake | that ot 5 Washington belle turn green with envy. Yum-Yum soaks her locks | in the perfumed oil made from the seed | of the camelia. She has them dressed | by a professional hair-dresser, at the ex- travagant cost of twenty cents per time, | and she does this in her pretty little | house, open at the street, so thut the passer-by can, if he will, inspect the whole operation. When it is done, she | has her face powdered and enameled, | her eyebrows are painted, and she has | the sweetest smile as can be shown by | her sex in any country of the world. ! The most of her beauty, however, dis- | appears with maidenhood. When she | is married, she shaves off her eyebrows | and blackens her teeth, and this eye- | brow shaving and teeth-blacking is one | of the most disgusting of the old cus- | toms of Japan. The Empress and the | ladies of the court are discouraging it, ! and its days are probably numbered. It originated, I am told, in the desire of the | wife to» show to the husband thag she cared nothingto make attractive to others after she was martied, seemed but she to lose sight of | the fact that she might make herself dis- | gusting even to her husband. It is on! the same principle that widows shave their heads in Japan, and that old maids shave off their eyebrows in order to show that they have given up all hopes of marriage. — Courier Journal. Eating Vegetables. In asubstantially vegetable diet, eggs, cream and cheese should oceasionally be used, all of which contain much solid nutriment. About one third of the egg is nutrition, and good cheese contains a still larger proportion. Butter is also food. An eminent chemist declares | there is “more strength stored up in | an ounce of butter than in two ounces of meat,” although butter will not fur- nish material to build up the tissues of the body like bread and meat. Yet butter, with eggs and cream or cheese in a moderate amount, will generate all the animal heat and force needed, just as coal and wood generate heat under the boiler of an engine. It has been demonstrated by experiment that one pound of boiled beans contains eighty- seven per cent of nutrition, while beef ! contains only twenty-six per cent.; boiled peas give -ninty-three per cent, against poultry, which yields twenty- six per cent., and veal, which gives only twenty-four.— Good Housekeeping. Sad Death of a Boy. Renovo News. A twelve-year-old boy was killed at Beechwood, Pa., Saturday afternoon. The unfortunate boy was working in the yard ofa saw mill when he met his death. The boy got upon a trestle work supporting a track for running cars from the mill to the yard. Several men were engaged in filling a car with lum- ber, at a point but a few feet distant from where the lad was located. The partially loaded car was started upon its course further up the yard and caught | the little fellow and pinned him to the tracks. The wheels of the car passed over his head and arm and nearly sever- ing both from the body. He was ren- lived but a few minutes. | Mo., is 91 years old. , ried three times and is now looking for herself |’ All Sorts of Paragraphs. --Between 600 and 700 tons of ivory are imported into England every year. —In his excitement a Norristown, Pa., gunner shot his dog and the rabbit escaped. —Mummies guaranteed to be 5,000 years old may now he purchased in Egypt for $85 apiece. —John G. Whittier says he expects to live the age of 100 years, though he is not anxious to do so. —Connecticut cider is now masqnera- ding as French champagne. One mill turns out 100 barrels a day. —You can’t always judge a man by the blood he’s got. Corn bread and whisky come from the same family. —Daniel Dougherty will repeat his talk on “Oratory” again this season: He receives from $200 to $300 a lecture. -—In Denmark most of the girls are trained in agriculture. In this country the girls take more kindly to husband- ry. —George Mollenkoff, of Pendleton; Ore., found on his ranch the bones of a mastodon that must have Leen 14 feet, high. — Uncle Jerome Smith, of Lovington He has been mar- a fourth wife. —A Chicago man saw his wife’s foot sticking up above the lower end of the bed, and, thinking it was a burglar, shot at1t. His wife now limps. —Don’t send a fox to tend geese or a cat to skim milk, unless they have a good reputation for honesty. Remem- ber this when you put your money in the bank. —Frank Erb, of Cunningham, Mo., 90 years old, recently won a prize at a shooting match, some of the best marks- men in the State being among the con- testants. ) —The will of the Indiana man who left $35,000 to found a home for old raids has been declared invalid by the Court, the testator having been of un- sound mind. — Will Henser’s wife of Punxsutaw- ney, Penn., decorated a favorite cat | named Jonathan with a ribbon and a bell. Jonathan then climbed a tree and hanged himself. —Jane Detheridge, of Kingston, Jamaica, Las refused 37 offers of marri- age. Jane has $1,000,000 and is an or- phan. She does not think she can af- ford a husband who cares only for her money. —Atlanta Farmer (on seeing an elec- tric car)—Only a few years ago them | Yankee fellers came down here and freed the niggers. Now,jdad burn ‘em, they've come down here to free the mules. —“Why my boy, you've spelt window without an n. Don’t you know the difference between a window and a widow ?? ‘Yes, sir. You can see through one--and—and—you can’t see through the other, sir.” —Mirs. Elizabeth Webb, who died at Kalamazoo last week, aged 91, is be- lieved to-have been the oldest member of the Methodist Church in point of years of metrbership in the country. She had been a communicant for 82 years. —The French are now able to put in the field seven armies of a total strength 0£1,800,000 ;men, equipped for a pro- longed campaign, and supported by an ample reserve. ‘I'his is five times the force that Napoleon ITI could muster in 1870. —Mrs. Wilson Reid, who lives near Sampson’s Mills, Oregon, was dressing a grouse for her husband’s dinner one day last week. Ttscrop held a nice gold nugget worth $7.50. Hubby ate the bird, but madam bought a pair of nice shoes. — William Arendt and Mrs. Susan Iseley were married the other day ir the Dickson county, Kan., poor house. The groom is 70 and the bride 67 years old. It is comforting to he:r of a wedding oc- casionally to which Fessuspicion of mer- cenary motives attaches. —In Suwannee county, Fla., recently a minister of a certain denomir a'ion was converted through the preaching of a ministerfof a differentfdenomination, and all the members of the converted minis- ter’s church changed their faith and fol- lowed their old shepherd. -—A Pittsford, Mich., man has just abstained from swallowing food for 53 consecutive days, and still lives. It wasn’t because he had nothing to eat, either, but because he had paralysis of the neck. He is better now, and ate a big turkey dinner Thanksgiving Day. —Opossums abound on the outskirts of Canton, Mo. The electric lights there seem to attract the animals at night. Numbers of them climb the electric light poles, touch the wire, are killed by the shock, and in the morning their dead bodies are found and carried away by workmen. —About two months ago Mrs. Ed. ‘Wessels, of Frost, Clare county, Mich. moved to Tennesse @ She tool jher dog with her, but lost it in Cincinnati. A few days ago the dog made its appear- ance at the old home in Frost, a good bit the worse for wear, but happy to get home. How did the dog find its way back ? —At Crawfordsville, Ind., the other day, the members of the City School Board presented Miss Nellie Constant with a handsome set of Tennyson’s works. Miss Constant attended the Crawfordsville schools for eleven vears without being absent or tardy a single time, and the presentation was made on that account. —Dr. A. Worden, of Petoskey, Mich., has invented a novel rat trap, It runs with a spring, and as fast as the rodents are captured they are thrown into a barrel or other receptacle. On a trial trip the other night the doctor’s layer caught 16 rats, and Petoskey folks will now form a stock company and manu- facture the traps. —Secretary Rusk is the most eccentric member of the Cabinet. He is thoroughly democratic in his tastes and there is an undercurrent of hostility be- tween him and the aristocratic Secretary of State. Blaine and Rusk are about as different in tastes and habits as two men could be, and, it is rumored, they are very sarcastic towards each other at Cabinet meeting. Mr. Harrison's sym- pathy seems to be with Rusk.