Deore Wate
Bellefonte, Pa., October 18, 1889.
THE HUSKIN’ BEE.
The huskin’ bee wus over, ez the sun wuz
goin’ down
In a yaller blaze o’
maples brown,
The gals wuz gettin’ ready ’n the boys wuz
standin by,
To hitch on wahr they wanted to, or know the
rerson why.
glory jist behind the
Ofall the gals that set aroun’ the pile of corn
that day, 5
A-twistin’ off the rustlin’ husks ez ef ’twas on-
y play, :
The peartest one of all the lot—'n they wuz
ooty, too—
Wuz Zury Hess, whese laffin’ eyes cud look ye
through and through.
Now it happened little Zury found a red ear in
the pile
Afore we finished huskin’, 'n ye orter seen her
smile,
Fur o course, she hed the privilege, efshe
wud only dare,
To choose the feller
she liked best 'n kiss him
then 'n there. :
My ! how we puckered up our lips 'n tried to
look our best,
Each feller wished
from all the rest,
Till Zury, arter hangin’ back a leetle spell or
he’d be the one pi cked out
80, :
Got up 'n walked right over to the last one in
the rew.
She jist reached down ’n teched her lips unte
the ol’ white head 1
OQ’ Peter Sims, who's eighty years efhe’s a day
“tis said ;
She looked so sweet ol’ Peter tho't an angel
cum to say : : :
As hew his harp wuz ready in the land o’ tarnal
day.
Mad? Wal Ishould say I wuz; 'n I tol’ her go-
in’ hum,
As hew the way she slighted me hed made me
sorter glum, :
°N thatI didn’t think she'd shake me right
afore the crowd—
I wuzn't gointer stand it—n’ I said so peety
To
Then Zury drapped her laffin eyes’n whisper=
ed to me low;
“I dide’t kiss ye fore the crowd—'cause—
’eause—I love you so, :
’N Ithought ye wudn’t mind itef I kissed ol’
Pete instead, .
Beceuse the grave is closen’ jest above his
pore ol’ head.”
Well—wimmin’s ways is queer, sometimes,
and we dont’ allus know
Jist what's a-throbbin’ in their hearts when
they act thus 'n so— 3
All T know is when Ibid good night to lovely
Zury Hess,
I love her more’n ever, ,n I'll never leve her
Jess. —P. T. Kk
Rider.
A STORY FOR YOUNG MEN.
Politeness Pays.
4 pleasant, balmy day in May. The
windows of the railway car were open.
There wasa breezestirring; and though
a cloud of dust was blown in it was
also blown out, with the exceptions of
a tired portion which stopped to rest on
the clothes of the passengersor bur-
rowed for its own safety in their eyes
andl nostrils. There were only two va-
cant seats in the car, and at Pankeap
station two persons came in to fill them.
One of these was an old man—on the
second look he was probably not over
fifty—with iron gray hair, partly cov-
ered by a slouched hat, and clad in a
new suit of gray stuff’ that seemed to
have been made tor some one else.
With him was a young and very pret-
ty girl, whose dress was of ordinary
stuff, but well fitting, and who was
well gloved and well shod.
The observer would have set down
the two for a well-to-do farmer and his
daughter, who were traveling for busi-
ness or pleasure. The man looked
around. The two vacant seats were
on opposite sides of the car. In one
of them sat a young, well dressed and
apparently self-satisfied gentleman, and
the space by his side was occupied by
a handbag of crocodile leather and a
spring overcoat. In the other was an-
other young man, not quite so extrava-
gantly dressed, though neatly clad, and
not so handsome as the first, though
he had an open and intelligent coun-
tenance. The farmer looked around,
and, motioning his daughter to the wa-
cant seat, said: “There's a place for
you, Lucey.” Then turning to the
young man with the satchel, he asket :
“Seat engaged?”
The young man looked up, curled
his lip superciliously, and said: “Man
to fill it'll be here presently, I dare
say.”
“Ah!” seid the farmer, coolly re-
moving the gripsack and overcoat and
placing them on the young man’s lap:
“then I'll occupy it until he comes.”
And he seated himself accordingly,
while the young man glared at him.
The one an the other side looked
amused, and then, rising, said :
“You had Getter exchangeseats with
me, sir, and then the young lady and
yourself will be together.
“Thank you,” was the farmer's re-
ply, and the exehange was quietly ef-
fecced. ;
The two young men were evidently
acquainted, for the courteous one said
to the other in a iow voice: “Jim
Poulder, you made a mistake there.”
“I never make mistakes, Frank Bol-
ling,” replied the other. “I dare say
vou'll make your fortune some of these.
days by being polite to the granger pop-
ulation; but my fortune is already
made.” ®
The first speaker said nothing more,
but, drawing. a newspaper from his
pocket, opened it and ran his eye over
its columns. :
Poulder yawned a little, and at last
said: “This is too dull for yours faith-
fully, James Poulder. I'll go into the
smoking car and take a whiff. Have
asnifter ?’ be inquired, producing a
pocket flask. .
“No, thank you,” replied Bolling,
“that stuf! is rather too fiery for me.”
“Here goes alone, then. That'sas
fine brandy as ever crossed the ocean.
Day-day! Keep an eye on my traps, |
will you? and don’t give up my seat to
every country vokel who asks 1t.”
The elegant young gentleman shook
himself and made his way forward to
the car especially provided for fumica.
tion.
When he had gone the old man
leaned over the arm of his seat an ad-
dressed Bolling.
" “Excuse me, sir, but didn’t your
friend who has left say that his name
was James Poulder ?”
“That's his name, sir,” replied the
young man; “but he’s not exactly a
friend of mine, though we live in the
same place, and I know him very
well.”
“May I inquire where he is from ?”
“Yes, sir; Careysburg.”
“Son of Peter B. Poulder, the great
pork packer there, isn’t he?”
“Yes, sir.”
“His father should deal with
It would be quite in his line.”
“Oh, papa!” said a sweet, reproach-
ful voice, as those near who heard the
colloquy tittered.
“Itis a fact, Lucy,” rejoin:d the
farmer.
The old man, who was evidently in-
telligent, entered into a general conver-
sation with the younger and soon
showed that he was quite weli inform-
ed. Bolling was glad for a conference
so entertaining, especially when, as
his eyes were bent in that direction, he
saw the young lady was an interested
and, he hoped, a pleased listener.
There was something very sweet in the
expression of her countenance—an in-
expressible impress of modest an inno-
cence on her features. They chatted
away, and the elder, so dexterously
that the younger never perceived it,
drew out of the other his position, pros-
pects and intentions,
Bolling was frank by nature, and the
questions of his interlocutor, who was as
ingenious as the other was ingenuous,
were craftily put. The sharp granger
soon learned that Frank Bolling had
been engaged for some time in the
study of law; but that his father hay-
ing met with reverses, and having two
vounger daughters to educate, the
young man had set out to support him-
self, abandoning his law studies and
taking a situation as salesman at a
country store in Griffton, a thriving
town about five miles from the main
line.
“I get but beggarly pay, of course,”
said Frank, gayly. “Iam only a raw
hand: but I have a premise that when
Iam better qualified my wages will be
increased.”
“You are rather a singular person,”
said the farmer, bluflly. “Most young
men would have talked of their salary.”
“I rather prefer the old stylefof Eng-
lish,” said Bolling. “I am to be a
hireling; and the compensation of a
hireling is called wages. But wages
or salary—the term is indifferent to
me.”
“My place is within a mile of Griff-
ton,” said the old man. “I havea no-
tion that I knew your father once.
Wasn't he at Harvard in his time?”
‘Yes, sir; and so was I. We are;
alumni of the same school.”
“I wonder if he remembers his old
chum there—one George Carter—
George St. Leger Carter, as they have
it on the rolls.”
“Yes, sir; I have heard him speak
of him often, though the two have drift-
ed apart since then. Judge Carter, you
mean. He lives at Griffton. Do you
know him ?”
“Um! ye-es! After: fashion.”
“Papa!” whispered the young girl,
but Bolling’s quick ear caught her
word, “I know the Judge better than
you do.”
“Be quiet, Puss, will you ?”’ replied
her father in the same tone.
“I am told,” resumed the young man,
“that he left the bench, and though
quite wealthy, has gone back to the
bar. I have a letter for him which my
father, recalling their youthful friend-
ship, insisted on giving me; but I shall
not present it.”
“Why not ?
to you.”
“Scarcely, sir. You see, if I am to
be a salesman in a country store, I had
better accommodate myself to my posi-
tion. The judge, even if he remember-
ed old college friendships, wouldn’t be
likely to consider me a welcome addi-
tion to his family circle as visitor. He
is rich, and then he is said to have a
very handsome ‘and accomplished
daughter, who would, no doubt, look
downon me. I have my bread 2nd
butter to earn, and had better confine
myself to it.”
“Possibly you are right. But how
came your father to lose his money ? I
thought he inherited a fine fortune.”
“Yes, sir; but he was drawn into in-
curring responsibility for a relative.
He is not ruined, by any means, but is
merely hampered, and thinks he will
pull through in time with alittle econo-
my and prudence ; and I have no doubt
he will. But I am only in his way, or
I avould have remained.”
“Have you ever thought of trying
farming 7”
“No, sir. I have no capital, and
know nothing of it.”
“Ido you know more of selling gro-
«ceries and dry goods 7"!
“‘Not a bit more; but, you see, 1 am
paid something there while I learn.”
“Your friend, or vour acquaintance,
as you call him, goes to Griffton, too,
does he?”
“Yes, sir; but he goes there in a
different capacity. I believe he repre-
sents his father in some transactions
about property with the judge, and is
to remain there some days as a guest,
until the affair is closed. Possibly, as
his father wants him to marry, he may
be on a tour of observation and take
in the Judge's daughter. Though that
is very impertinent of me, for he has
said nothing or the subject.”
“Do you think he is so irresistible
as to be able to pick and choose at his
pleasure ?” inquired the girl, looking
quizzically over her father’s shoulder.
“Ile can be very fascinating when
he chooses, I am told,” replied Bolling;
| “and as he is handsome, an only son,
{and his father worth millions, he is at
least what elderly ladies call ‘a good
| eatch.’”
him.
He might be of service
Rich
shouldn’t envy me; you know content-
ment is better than wealth.”
{ “Did it never occur to you, young
man, that it was your duty to obey a
father's orders and deliver your letter
of introductio:, 2”
“T trust’ sir, I'm usually obedient.
was not a positive order.
him and explain.”
I shall write !
that letter to its proper owner. You
are only a trustee in the case. Iam
Judge Carter, and this 1s my daughter
Lucy. Hand over the paper to the
couri.”
“I beg pardon, sir; but I"'—
“You want identification. Here,
conductor! Tell this young gentle-
man who I am.”
“Judge Carter,” responded the fune-
tionary, a little curious to know what
it was all about.
“Thank you, Philips.
Now, sir.”
Bolling, not a little astonished, took
the letter from his pocketbook.
“If you'll please permit me,” said
the judge as he opened the letter and
glanced over the contents. “He gives
you a good character, and wants me to
look after you a little. Ah, how time
flies! Lucy, this young fellow’s father
aud I had such good times in the old
days. How long did you read law,
Bolliag ?”
“A little over two years, sir.”
“Like 1£ 7”
“Very much indeed, sir.”
“Whom did you read law with
“Spence & Sullivan.”
“Good men. Sullivan put vou
through the office business, I fancy.
That's his way. Now, I have been
putting you throngh an exhaustive ex-
amination, which is my way, and I
think you will do. Let old Bragg find
anothel salesman. He's not dying for
you, sand can getasubstitute. I have
two students in my office. What they
are there for is their own business, but
they’ll never make a great success at
the bar unless they change their ways.
I want a clerk to manage my office
and to boss around while I am off on
circuit. I'll give you a living salary,
not too much, and you can read law
meanwhile. Yououghtto beable to pass
ina year. Ifyou turn out as I hope
you will, why, when you get vour
sheepskin, we'll see what can be done.
What do you say to this?”
“Say to it, sir! What can I say but
yes, and thank you for your offer 2”
“Very well, that’s settled. Here we
are, and there is our carriage. Jump
in. Ill drive.” /
The next day James. Poulder, esq.,
made his appearance at the Cartersina
state of elegance only matched by that
of Capt. Cuttle’s famous watch—never
equalled and rarely excelled. He was
ushered into the drawing room and re-
ceived by a young lady whose style
suited even his fastidious taste, and
whose features had a dim familiarity.
When the judge came inthe young
man’s recognition of the farmer in the
car was complete. Hestammered out
an apology, but the old man relieved
him.
“It could hardly have been expected
that you should have known us,” said
the judge. ‘Let all that pass. You
are quite welcome. As we have two
hours before dinner, we'll go to the of-
fice and look over the papers together.
Miss Carter will excuse you mean
while.”
In the office Poulder found Bolling,
who was busy at work on a declaration.
“Why, Frauk, I thought you were
going into the grocery business.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” said Frank,
resuming his work.
James Poulder stayed his week out
and then took the cars to Careysburg.
Frank Bolling did not make the same
trip until two years after. Then he
went to visit his father, who had got
over his pecuniary troubles, and to see
his sisters. He had been admitted to
the bar meanwhile, and Judge Carter,
whose favorable impressions time had
confirmed, had taken him into partner-
ship just before he left. He was in
high spirits on that trip. He was not
alone. Miss Lucy Carter that had
been, Mrs. Francis Bolling then, was
his traveling companion. — 7 homas
Dunn English in Independent.
That will do.
The World’s Tallest Chimney.
The tallest chimney in the country
is the new stack of the Clark Thread
company, at Kearney, near Newark,
N.J. It is a cireular shaft 835 feet
high and 28 1-2 feet in diameter at the
base. This chimney cost $30,000 and
contains 1,697,000 bricks. It was
finished in September last, but its
supremacy among American chimneys
will be brief, for one is being erected
for the Fall River iron works company,
in Fall River, Mass., that will be 340
feet high and 30 feet in diameter at
the base. Chicago’s highest chimney
is 830 feet tall.
American chimneys, however, are
mere pigmies beside some of the tall
Scotch and English stacks. The
great Townsend stack at Glasgow, the
tallest in the world, is 454 feet high
and 32 feet in diatreter at the base.
Tennant & Co., of Glasgow, have a
chimney 435 1-2 feet by 40, and the
mills of Dobson & Barlow, Bolton,
England, have ar octagonal stack
367 1-2 feet hich and 38 feet 10 inches
in diameter at the bottom.—Philadel-
ohia Record.
Oyster OMELETTE.—Cut in small
pieces six or eight large ovsters, add a
pinch of salt and a dash of cayenne
pepper, and let them stand in their own
liquor for half an hour. Beat four
eggs thoroughly, whites and yelgs sep-
arately ; season the yelks with pepper
and salt; add a large tablespoonful of
cream or rich veal or chicken broth ;
mix in the whites, and pour into the
frying pan, in which you have a suf-
ficient quantity of fresh butter melted
and smoking hot.
stantly, watch very closely, and fold
over as soon as the eggs are set.
cooked and promptly served, this makes
an unsurpassed omelette,
Add the oysters in-
Well
Tue ProBrLFM STILL UNSOLVED.—
Mad—My dear fellow, yon
Poor Man—“That’s so! Then sup-
i pose you let me have your wealth and
{ you have the contentment, which you
| say is preferable.
It both be content.”
In that way we will
Oh, come off ; your ideas would up-
set the whole scheme of society. — New
“I tell you that you should deliver York Tribune.
Uucle Sam’s Crops.
Notwithstanding his commercial and
manufacturing interests, farming is still
the chief business of Uncle Sam, and as
the autumnal season is now putting its
brown coloring upon the green foliage
ot Summer and Spring, itis time for
him to make a counting of the crops, and
see what the farm has yielded for Win-
ter.
This has not been a bad year for the
American farmer, so far as the benefi-
cence of the season exerts an influence
upon his prospects. The yield has
been abundant, and the earth smiles
with the harvest. There is plenty to
feed all and some left over for the mil-
lions of Europe who do not raise enough
of their own.
Wheat is the chief food crop, and
the United States raised more than an
average amount this year, though not
so much as during one or two preceding
seasons of exceptionally favorable
weather. The yield in the Southwest
‘| was reduced somewhat by rain and the
quality of the grain was injured slight-
ly. In the Northwest there were dry
winds which looked very unfavorable
for a while, but these were soon succeed-
ed by better climatic conditions, and
that section has furnished a great wheat
crop. On the Pacific Slope the yield is
the largest ever known. The total crop
of the Union will be about 500,000,000
bushels.
There will be a great corn crop. The
consumption of this cereal increases
yearly in the United States. Wherever
it ceases to be used as a food for man, its
growing demand for animals more than
supplies the deficiency. In the South
and the Southwest it is cultivated to a
greater extent every year, and in the
West and the Northwest it has long ac-
knowledged no rival, save wheat, in the
farmer’s care. The rains and the sun-
shine have come in just alternation for
the corn crop this year, and the yield
wiil be two billion bushels. Asin the
case of the wheat crop, this, too, has
been beaten, but it is above the average.
Cotton is a little late, but satisfactory
progress otherwise and an increased ev-
er creage insure the greatest prodcution
known Jin the United States. Last
season’s yield was about 7,000,000 bales,
and this year it will be between seven
and a half and eight million bales un-
less the planters are visited by every un-
usual misfortunes. The yearly yield of
cotton since the civil war has had a ve-
ry steady growth in the South. With
rare exceptions each year exceeds the
one preceding by a few hundred thous-
and bales. This season the South mark-
eted $300,000,000 worth of the fleecy
fiber, and soon she will be selling five
hundred millions’ worth annually.
The tobacco yield has been much re-
duced in Kentucky and neighboring
States by unfavorable weather, but it is
to be considered good fortune rather
than a misfortune, since increased price
will more than compensate for the de-
creased product. It was attempted to
limit the yield by an agreement, but
that would undoubtedly have failed had
not the weather come to the relief of the
farmers. In the Northern seed leaf to-
bacco regions there will be an average
crop. :
Oats, rye, barley and potatoes pro-
mise yields above the average, and the
Louisiana sugar planters talk encouraz-
ingly. The fruit harvest has been in-
jured in New York and Pennsylvania,
but the States further west will supply
the deficiency. Nearly all the less im-
portant agricultural products have
yielded well enough to rejoice the heart
of the farmer.
The laborers have not toiled in vain in
Uncle Sam’s vineyard this year. The
farmers of America never before raised
so much, and as the crops in Europe are
bad, there is a good market for their sur-
plus. Russia and India will have little
wheat to export, and a call will be made
upon the United States for the deficit
those two countries used to supply. An
improved dernand for our pork and beef
may also be expected.
The American farmer might be a rich
man, if he ascertained his rights and as-
serted them. With the privileges ac-
corded other classes our agricultural
population would be the richest on
earth. The occupation of farming,
with increased opportunities for wealth,
would get back the honorable esteem in
which it was once held and it would
no longer be considered unfashionable
to till the soul. And with the improve-
ment of those who constitute the mass
of the people the condition ofall others
would grow better.
Ex-Empress Eugenie's Poor Health.
The ex-Empress Eugenie, once the
gay and dazzling sovereign lady to-
ward whom the eyes of all Europe were
turned, is said to be more than usually
infirm this season, and spends a great
portion of her time in silence and med-
itation, whether she is lodged in her
own home or is visiting at the mansion
of some friend. When her fits of gloom
come on she is capable of remaining
sleepless, speechless, without eatiag,
drinking or noticing any one around her
for twenty-four hours ata time. Persua-
sion and persistent attempts to bring
her to a sense ot her surroundings only
make her case worse.
It 1s as if she were communing with
the dread phantoms of her past, and as
it they held her attention to the exciu-
sion of all other things in the universe.
When the fit 1s over it may be succeed-
ed by one of devotion such as only
Spanish women can go through, devo-
tion which seems to leave the very soul
prostrate. The remnants of her ward-
robe, which she was allowed to remove
from Paris in 1876 and 1877, pro luced
much of the fortune on which she lives
expended on the splendid imperial
mausoleum. Of fars alone, at the time
of the empire's down-fall, she had
8120,000 worth deposited with the
crown fur keeper, and others worth as
much more with intimate friends.
Las been estimated that the Empress
Eugenie possessed at the time of the
worth of* turs.— Paris Letter in Phila-
delphia Press.
A —————————
—-—lTarR1SON in the White House.
And wheat 65 to 75 cents per bushel.
What's become of the Republican promi-
ses of better times, if Harriton should be
elected.
to-day and the money which she has |
It |
empire's greatest grandeur $800,000 |
| An Anecdote of Stephen Girard.
Seeing a story about old Stephen
Girard the other day reminds me of an
| incident that shows one of his peculia-
| rities, says a writer in the Globe-Demo-
| crat. Girard had a drayman who was
| decidedly a poor man. One day the
I drayman, who was an industrious,
| bright fellow, with ajzood many mouths
{ to fill at home, was heard to remark
i that he wished he was rich. “What's
| that?” sharply said Girard, who heard
the grumble. “Oh,” said the man, “I
was only wishing I was rich.” “Well,
why don’t you get rich?’ said the mil-
lionaire harshly. “I don’t know how
without money,” returned the drayman.
“You don't need money,” said Girard.
“Well, if you will tell me how to get
rich without money I wont let the
grass grow before trying it,” returned
the others ‘There is going to be a
ship-load of confiscated tea sold ataue-
tion to-morrow at the wharf; go down
there and buy it in and then come to
me.” The man langhed. ‘I have no
money to buy a ship-load of tea with,’
he said. “You don’t need any money,
I tell you,” snapped the old man. ‘Go
down and bid in the whole cargo and
then come tome.” The next day the
drayman went down to the sale. A
large crowd of retailers were present
and the auctioneer said that those bid-
ding would have the privilege of taking
one case or the whole shipload, and
that the bidding would be on the pound.
He then began the sale. A retail gro-
cer started the bidding and the dray-
man raised him. On seeing this the
crowd gazed with no small amount of
surprise. When the case was knocked
down to the drayman the auctioneer
said he supposed the buyer only desir-
ed one case. ‘I'll take the whole ship-
load,” coolly returned the successful
bidder. The auctioneer was astonished
but on some one whispering to him
that it was Girard’s man who was the
buyer his mauner changed, and he
said he supposed it was allright. The
news soon spread that Girard was buy-
ing tea in large quantities, and the
next day the price rose several cents.
‘Go and sell your tea, said Girard to
the drayman the next day. Th» dray-
man was shrewd, and he went out and
made contracts with seyeral brokers to
take the stock at a shade below the
market price, thereby making a quick
sale. In a few hours he was worth
$50,000.
EN
Wherein He Failed.
“Elijah, dear, will you dress Willie
this morning ? I'm in a such a hurry,
and it won’t take you but a minute or
two.
“Certainly,” replied Mr Bixby,
cheerfully ; “I'd just as soon dress the
little chap as not. Here, my little man,
come and let papa dress you. I’ll have
you as neat as a pin in a jiffy.’
Willie, aged 4 comes reluctantly from
his playthings, and Bixby begins :
“Now, let's oft your nighty gown and
—keep still, dear, or IT can’t unbutton it.
There now, we'll—sit still, child. What
makes you squirm about like an ell?
Where's your little shirty ? Ah here it
is, and sitstill! Putnp your arm—no,
the other one and—can’t you keep still
half a second ? Put up your other arm
and stop hauling and pulling so! Now,
let's come—herg, boy! What under
heaven do you mean by racing off like
that with nothing on but your shirt ?
Now you come here and let me put the
rest of your duds on. Stand still, I say!
Put your legin here! Not that leg!
There you go squirming around like an
angleworm. Now, if you don’t keep
still, young man, D’ll—stop pulling at
that chain, and—here, Mary Ellen,
you'll have to dress this wriggling ani-
mal yourself. I couldn’t do it in ten
years. Go to your mother, sir!’—
Time.
The American Cultivator suggests
that managers of County Agricultural
Fairs should offer premiums to the
road disticts that keep the best roads or
malke the greatest improvement at the
least expense. And the Philadelphia Re-
cord adds: The suggestion is an ex-
cellent one. Good roads are a com-
mon blessing, and more than any oth-
er single agency increase the general
comfort and wealth. If self-interest
fails to teach this lesson, it might be
brought home to our agricultural breth-
ern by such an effort to incite friendly
rivalry.
More Bodies Found at Johnstown.
JounNsTowx, Oct. 8.—Five dead bod-
dies were taken out of Stony Creek to-
day by workmen removing the filth and
rubbish. There seems to be no doubt
that there were a great many washed in
here and as the surface deposits are re-
moved many more will likely be
brought to light.
Way He CovLpN't Accepr.—-Far-
mer’s Son—*“Did you hire the man
father 7”
Farmer—-1 wanted to,
wouldn’t accept the place.”
“What did you offer him ?”
“I offered him $60 a month and to
find himself.’
“And he thought $60 too little 2”
“No, he was satisfied with the wages,
{ but he said he couldn’t find himself.”
“Why not?”
“Because he .is an ex-detective from
but he
I Chicago. He said he never could find
| anything.”'—- Boston Post.
1
|
RENEWAL or COLLEDGE LABOR.—--
| Professor of Gelogy—“Gentlemen at the
[ close of the spring term, T asked you to
‘report to me individually, any object
of extraordinary interest you might meet
| in your respective outings. Mr. Cor-
bett, you may begin.”
Corbett, '91-—-¢ Please, sir, mine had
yellow hair, blue eyes and a tailor-made
suit.” Puck.
———
Lire’s RecoMpeNses.— Little Sister
| —*Ma wants you, Sammy. Where've
{you been 7? Sammy—‘‘Fishing’.”
Little Sister—‘Did you catch any-
thing ?” Sammy (sadly)-—‘Nothing’
,b all’! Little Sister!(reassuringly)—--
“Oh, but you will when you get home.”
- - am —
All Sorts of Paragraphs.
—Our vaseline is used in Japan td
soothe the sting of tattooing.
—Americans can get trust for almost
any amount in the stores of Enrope.
—Over 2,000 tons of raisins have al-
ready been shipped East from Fresno,
Cal.
—The year 1889 is the centennial of
the introduction of the chrysanthemum
into Europe.
—A crazy negro in the Milwaukee
jail labors under the impression that he
is a telephone.
—An English lady has left $50,000
to be devoted to the photographing of
the stars, planets and nebula.
—Thecdore Baker has harvested 2,500
bushels of onions, worth $1,000, off ten
acres of land near Bridgeton. N. J.
—Up to end of August 24,486,000
tickets were taken at the Paris Expo-
sition. In 1878 the number was 7,125,~
000.
—J. B. Greene, of Mosherville, Mich.,
captured an eel in his miil flume which
weighed 6} pounds and was 40 inches
long.
—A Chicago husband and wife both
filed petitions for divorce on the same
day, each without the knowledge of the
other.
—The grade of the cogged-track railway
which is being built at Pike’s Peak, Col.,
will be 25 feet to the 100, or 1,320 feet
to the mile.
—Johnson Munday, a Tarrytown
sculptor who is nearly blind, is model-
ing a statue of a Union soldier by the
sense of touch.
—On a recent holiday 500 men in the
Birmingham, England, workhouse
were allowed to go out for the day.
Only 50 returned sober.
—A Chinese journal contains the as-
tonishing intelligence that “in America
if a man does not smoke or drink, he is
universally respecded.
—A man who is in the Birmingham
(Ala.) jail charged with murder weigh-
ed only 80 pounds two months ago.
His weight is now 160.
—An obituary in a Georgia cotempo-
rary closes with this sentence: «Mr.
F——, though dissipated, was an honest
man and well thought of in his neigh-
borhood.”
--During the last month 1,441 cre-
mations took place in Tokio, 22 of the
bodies thus disposed of having been
those of person who died from infectious
diseases.
—The prisoners in the Texas Peniten-
tiary raise sugar cane and refine its juice
After paying all the cost of food, fuel,
shelter and clothing, $65,000 has been
turned into the State from the work.
—Mr. F. G. Murphy, of Louisville,
dreamed of being at a race and seeing a
certain horse coming in ahead of the
rest. Accepting this as a “tip” he bet
$100 on that horse and came out
$350 ahead.
—The railroad car on which Lincoln
rode to Washington at the time of his
first inauguration is now used as a
smoking car on the New York Central
Railroad and run between Wellsboro
and Antrim, Pa.
—It has been estimated by men of
science, who have investigated the sub-
ject, that the rock of Niagara is being
worn away by the water at such a rate
that in a few thousand years the cataract
will wear up to Lake Erie.
——People who object to shutting up
shop 52 days inthe year would not make
good citizens of Servia, as it is stated
that law, rigidly enforced, compels all
business to stop on Sundays and all holy
days, which count up 180 in the year.
— Farmers injthe vicinity of Anderson,
Ind., are excited over the appearance of
a gang of young wolves in their wood
lots. A number of sheep and chickens
have been killed. A big hunting party
i been organized to kill off the prow-
ers.
—As soon as the horse cars from
Cairo to the Pyramids are completed,
and the work is nearly done, an elevator
will be made to the top of the venerable
piles, so that ascent may be made quick-
ly and comfortably by the modern trav-
eler.
—In view of the statement from Cape
May that a sweet potato 8 feet 6 inches
long was grown there, it wouldn't
be altogether surprising if some day
vegetables are sold by the foot. In Boe-
ton, during certain months, cabbages are
sold by weight.
—Jim White, ot Memphis, recently
thought it would be very funny to write
his name and address on the back of a
dollar bill. But one of Pinkerton’s men
saw it, and remembered that Jim was
“wanted.” Jim is therefore in jail
with plenty of leisure to kick himself
for being so funny.
—Charles P. Houpt, of Germantown,
recently sold an old Bible for $125. It
was a Bradbury edition, published in
Philadelphia, and one of the first print-
ed in this country. Very few copies
of this edition are now in existence. The
purchaser was a descendant of the pukb-
lisher.
—There is a family at Roscoff, in
France, in which there are five genera-
tions now living. The oldest member
is a great-great-grandmother of 93, and
the youngest a small descendant, age 1
month. They all went to church to-
gether the other day when the newest
was christened.
-—The smallest circular saw in prac-
tical use isa tiny disc about the size of a
shilling, which is employed for cutting
theslits in gold pens. Thesesaws are
about as thick as ordinary paper and re-
volve some 4,000 times per minute.
Their high velocity keeps them rigid,
notwithstanding their extreme thinness.
—A Vienna millionaire has just died
leaving a request for his only heir to keep
the family vault lighted with several
Jablockoft' electric lamps for one year.
But the authorities having refused the
necessary permission the heir has ordered
a candle and a box of parlor matches to
be placed near the man in his coffin in
case he should wake up from his long
---Cleveland Leader.
sleep.