The Democratic Watchamn. II El 11. EFONT 'E. l' 'A FOR TOBACCO CHEWERS AND SMOKERS Chewing in the parlor, Smoking in the street, Clinking with vigor nmolte Every one von meet. Spitting on the pallinient, Spitting on the goer, In there sneh enslavement/ In there Kutch it bore? In hotel and Froeory 'flamer° Jo u, and entoke Dethe the floor noJ 1111, And nieknfl n or choke Mow wo do delerl It, How we do deplore, bri )'our rent to nee the spit, 'cri ilk to do, it before. Your head n little hack, When von go to speak. Will keep 001.h/111110M dry, Between the chin end cheek In hang hoh, tot, Silk and WWII. xkirt, Wipe tip rile tobiteee molt, Mingled with the dirt FniOld breath forever, Halnrnted elothen, Would that we'd been never Created with a 1111.. Ladle', with their long drums, Sweeping down the street, Gathering up the early 111,411 Smear it round their feet. Puddle. in the cornern, hwelling Into 4,11 e, Forming Ink.•+ n o el mere, Drying in I he min M n lien )en niarre, T0ba,,,,, Morin.. don't hike rtm,k ,11 inek ur Harry', Win 111111 It f o r your mdse. Dechtro Om thing IA ourw•. And when gent« I now to won You - pop the 11111 , 14101/" Mat , '•Sir, do you runoho ar °blow '' Mark well I'lll'll word or look, And if they don't nay no, Just 11.1.1,s« thorn (41 your hook, And tell I:toin why you do Some genie will carry eplee, Some cinnamon, nom° /doves, Make good line of your eyen, And good line of your none, For when the wedding'slier, Ferinmen they throw sway, They spit upon the floor, They smoke and chow nil day Doom a lover ',tontine To quit the treed for you, Bee he hat a firm hump, And etintouentmum too If you re Ti,, Phrenologott, Let time the truth make Meer And watt until he reafsta Temptation for a year THE FALL OF UTIE BY GEORGE k LEERY TOWNSEND The reception at Seceetary's Flake's was at its height Bland Van, the President of the nation, had departed with the bays, the punch-bowl had been emptied nine tunes; and still the cry Iron our repliblicau so , jely wan, 'Fill tip.' A pair of young men unacquainted with each other, passed at the same time to the punch bowl, and Jack, the Chet lailler, turning from the younger, a clerk in civil dress, helped the elder, a tall naval officer, to a couple of ,glas aes. The clerk, young Ilue, who was somewhat Hushed, addressed the chief ladler and remarked • `Yen nigger, didn't you see my glees r 'See il , Rah ? I've peen It several timei4 alo, I lip evening yl Black:ack then received the cur rent allowance of corset+ tor his color and lie aw.riiiilenee, all of which lie took riierikay, till the officer, Lieuien and I),loo.„,nterrypted on the negru'a 'lts "tour yer alflor, I reckon " cried If tie, twolJenly 'The Mall tool rip intention of slight in* you,' laid iiiddo. 'You has e been drinking t..m.) touch, bur, and i,nir ooarrielleVh 101514,maiing out.' A fresh craved oflhirsl. people Kee sing u p t. that ta.•it roe davit his Op portunity t, cry • 'lto iiiii around de puncli.b.% I 7' And the dittputavot were separated and squeezed by he promenading tidos into ditrerent ruoins The officer presently forgot all about it, but riot so young Iftio, who wits partly,yiron k, entirely earn., not a gen ilienituniby nature, and outraged, that anybody had dubbed him 'a boy ' Ile sought the side of a tine vuing girl,the clang liter.uf the chief of the hurean where be was employed, and with whom lie mill in love. She ,was attired in thy free .costume of republican re cepouni , —Uwe arms, a low dress g,... ing ample display to the whitest shoul ders in the room, and tine natural hair dreened with tiowere. Evury gentle man who puma her (luring the ern hog bud looked Lisa homage freeL) -- old beaux, dignitaries, officers, liereign deputies, roues —and as she had keen two or three winter's in that kind of society, nothing duicomposed her. 'Robert,' she said with part of ft glance, as [Tile rejoiced her, 'you gotta the punch howl too tench. You retleet ippon me, air. Besides, I heard you quarreling with that baudsorne officer. I am dying to know bin" Who is be?' Utie looked vieiouely up, anger and jealousy inflaming hie headed face. for although lie lid iasi engagement with Miss Rideau, he conceived !damn her future suitor. But some rash words that he said against the officer were scarcely heard by the self possiimed beauty of official society, because just then the young officer and a friend 14 were approaching them. She dropped her eyes when she met Lieutenant Dibdo'e bold glance of admiration, whew' in order not to be privy to the more searching look with which, like the gentleman of the world, he ran over the line points or her pl ump _ body se he peened. But young Utie. seeing Ilse offender of a moment ago taking ABA ardent and leieurely survey of the girl under hie care, turned pale with *a. The officer did not notice him AAP, absorbed in the floe colors, eyes, proportions of Miee Rideau, and this faither outraged Utie, who—to his audit Ae it said—had only modest dmights,of her. When he saw how• aver, thatjohe looked after the manly ague and ,naval gilt of him of the profane eyes Ass if to return his mind- Nation, the ini,osicated boy dropped an Mth. 'I will horsewhip that powder-mon key!' he said. 'Robert,' said the girl, placidly, 'you won't. You have no horse and no horsewhip, big you have been drinkin. Do from me, sir I tiont6 one else sha ll see me home to-night.' '1 will kill the man 'who takes my place! Do you darn to speak that way to me?' He had raised hie voice, in his rage, so that some other heard it. There was a little pause of passing peril e, for that was a chivalrous age as to the manner of men and women, and the young officer, just then retnriling,tivail ed himscllof the pretty girl's dilemma to say : ;May I nirststl on, Miss? I presume )du are not in very agreeable com pany.' • 'Thank you, sir,' answered Miss Ri deau. 'I would be obliged to have some one find my anut for me; she is here somewhere.' 'Will you accept a stranger's arm '7 dln this misfortune, I will.' Ibbdo took off his pretty girl, and one of his naval companions, looking after him, exclaimed: 'What a genius Fhb, is with the ladies!' But the coin pardon, feeling a trembling, unsteady hand upon his arm, turned about and met )(twig Due's desperate tare 'I want to know the name of that fellow!' said Doe. 'That is Charles said the naval companion, 'Lieutenant of the I'. St, frigate Fox, and I recommend you, nay boy, to address him in a civil tone. For me, It never mind it drunk CII Thoroughly demonized now, )(mug Robert Coe turned blindly about for an implement as revenge lle found it in I'iltock, a fellow clerk, it novinde, and a ninny, who was visible HI the crowd. 'Tiltock, are you a man of honor ?' 'I hope Ho, Itob.' 'Can you carry a challenge?' 'I) yes? I guess so, 10 'bulge an old friend.' 'Can you write it?' 'l'm afiaal not.' Mien — Whe It by word of month. That scoundrel there, Lieutenant Ibb. do, has insulted a lady, and me toe. I must have hie blood. Follow him up and meet me at fiadoby's with his answer.' • Full of sill importance at this first and safe opportunity to stand upon what is known as 'the field of honor,' Tiltock kept the lieutenant in his eye, and took bun finally aside and de manded a meeting in the name of title The', naval officer answered that lie had simply relieved a lady from a drunken boy ; but Tiltock, in the dra matte way common to halcyon old times, refused to accept either 'drunk en' or 'boy' as terms appropriate to 'the code,' and pressed lor an answer In five minutes the naval officer replied through his naval companion, that having ascertained Mr. l'tie to be a gentleman's son, and he a U n it e d States officer, sot being able to decline a challenge, the latter was accepted The weapons were to be wstols, the place the usual ground at Bladensburg, and the time the afternoon of the next rinse There was a good deal of drinking and boasting at the hotelti that night l'tie and Tißock telling everybody, as a peculiar secret, that there was A o he 'an 'fah honali, otherwise a at Bladensburg, ash !' The gin drinking, cock fighting, sporting element of the was aroused, mid title and "I'll iock were mil tel on all side, to imbibe to tile* significant of 'The Field Were noisy, Set.) ins, 4111 bU In7Llll es, indeed, these two Mere lade tile all springs of a vain rind ignorant social period of which some elements set re niitin--borrowed the money to hire a carriage, and at midnight they set out with some associate. , by the old, rutty, clay road for the Maryland village of Bladensburg. That night they Ca roused until nature, despite her revolt, put them to bed In the morning, with a swollen arid sallow face, dry hair, unsteady hands, aching e)es and dim visions, Robert title awoke to the recollection of his folly and lon rash toss, and lie realized the critical pert oil which he had provoked. file clerkship lost, his self pride poignant, his pockets nearly empty, ills reaper table career irretrievably terminated, lon s•veetheart insulted, arid lint life in danger ,l There was no escape either from despair or late. Tiltock was strutting about below stairs with a drunken old doctor, misname(' a tour genii, who ilepo , nierl behind the liar a rusty ekt.e ,/l who 1011 k a deep potation to tile 141/I.li. of 'The fawciiiins of wavy." The Bla densburg people were well aware of the occasion, and the o'd tavern was surrounded by loafers and gossips, many of whom were boys who hail walked from the city as we go to prize tights in our day. To fill tip the tone a dog fight and a chicken fight were ouiprovimed by the stable boys in the bask yard, on the green slopes of the nruaing Brooch While Tiltock strut ted out of town at an imposing pace to exttutioe 'The Field,' Robert, Utie re tired to his room, sought with an emetic to relieve his stomach, and then sat down to write some letters and an epitaph. The paper was thin, and the peu and ink matched It, but the drunken boy's eyes marred more than all ; for suddenly the secret foun lain. of his lost youth were touched as by the prick of his pen, arid the drops gushed out upon the two words he had written : Not hie sweetheart, who was noth ing to him now, not hie 'honor,' which had been only vain glory and deceit, not'anything but this earliest, ever , lasting faith which is ours forever, whether we be steadfast or go astray ; the tie of home, of childhood, and of oar mother's prayer and kiss—this was the soft reproach which glided between a wasted youth and the 'field of valor' he had attempted. He wept, lie sobbed. Ile threw himself upon the bed, and pressing Iris temples into the ragged quilt, felt the panorama of childhood pass across hie mind like something 0001, sorrowful, and comps& siopate.i The sickliest( she had cured, trio bad words she had taken from hie undutiful lips, the whipping she had saved him from at the cost of her de cell, t he he she had never told him, the tears ho hail found her shedding upon her knees when firtit he had been drink mg, the money he had never given her out of his salary but had spent with, idlers, his ruined soul which to that mother's thought ;vas pure as a baby's still, and watched by all the angels of God; these were mitnommnut from the eeen meadows of childhood. Before was the barren field of honor. Flow short Is the struggle betwixt youth and selfishness, that mini of all diseases and crimes; that selfishness out of which wain wise and hell is inhabitated A poor, overworked Christian negro, a slave in the tavern, hearing..the soh bing of Robert trim and aware that one of the duelists occupied thnt room, lifted the hatch, and awakened the wretched boy from his remorne. 'Young !HOPEI,' he said, 'Mum you fight no juels I Olt I Bonn do it, for de bresssed Lord'a make I ICA nullin but pride and sin I Yolk; only a pore spilt boy, but you got a 'mill, young moss I Doan you go gut kilt in hut ar bloody gully no many guts hurt alio 088 to delIT ('tie rose front the dream of home, and kicked the poor slave out of lox room. Ile then drank, speculate.' lip on his chances, practiced wit). co on aviary pistol at the aid), ,0,1 medita ted running away, alternately, until business step rang in pie halt 44. 'Bob,' he said, 'we've picked you a beautiful piece aground, and the oth er party's waiting It's the most pop ular juel of the season.' They walked up the sandy village street, under the old hip rooted houses, crossed the Branch bridge and proceed ed a quarter of a mile on the road to Washington. There, where a rivulet crossed the road amongst some bushes, they descended by a path into a copse arid on to a green meadow space clear ed away by former ram freshet. Farm boys, town boys, and intruders of all sorts were lurking near. The field of honor resembled a gipsv camp. Lieutenant khdo's companion came up to Tdtock and said that his friend did not wish to fight, and would make tiny manly apology, ev e n th o u g h tin conscious of offense, if the challenge was withdrawn. The crowd was ar dent for the fight, and Tiltock, who wits punctilious about honor, particu larly where he could cut a safe figure, repelled the compromise, as "unwar ranted by the code.' Ile knew as much about the code an about honor, and more about both than about get ting a living. 'Then,' sahl the Lieutenant, 'I am authorized «i say that my principal will take Mr l'ee's first fire Let improve the generous chance as he will. The second time we will make business of it.' The interlopers fell back. The word was given : 'llead9--nitn-- fire " Rob ert sustained by braggadocio, fired full nt the body of Lieutenant hist°. That officer tired into the air and remained unmoved and unharno 'ls another shot demanded ?' 'Ye•n,' mod Tiltock, 'our honor In not vet satisfied.' 11e waned the crowd hack In an im perious way -they having rushed in alter the first shot—anti lie gave the word hinise•lf like a dramatic reading. li.iltert l'tie looked, and this tone w it h n hint sobered face, into the open pi•tttl tit the man 'fettled provoked,the proles.ional oilicer:of death The fine, cool lace behind the pistol was roncime, grave, and eloquent now as a judge's pronouncing the last sentence of the law The next instant the boy was biting and crawling at the ground in mortal agony. The impatient crowd rushed in A faint voice was heard to gasp for what some Haiti was 'water' and come thought was 'mother.' Then a tignie with a dissipated face a little dignified by death arid with some of the softness of childhood glimmering in it, like the bright loot-fall of the good angel whose mission was done 1111,131 , 110ne flight wan taken—this fig ure lay upon its back among the bush es, under the sunshine, pet ped at by distant lolls, contemplated by idlers as tit were the body of a slain game chicken, and the drunken 'surgeon' Has idiotically feeling for its heart. 'Gentlemen,' maid TIllOCk with a flourish, 'we are all witnesses that eve rvtliing has been honorably conduct ed ' The city had Its little talk. The newspapers in those days were models of what Is called high-toned journal ism, arid printed nothing on purely personal matters like duels when re quested to respect the feelings of fans hes. An if 'the feeling of families' were not the main cause of duels I There was a mother somewhere, still clinging with her prayers to the footstool of flod, hoping for the soul of her boy even alter death and wickedness. This was all, except the revolution of the world, and the wedding in due time upon it of Lieutenant Dilslo and Mins Itideas. It was what was called a ro mantic wedding. A Streout.Art CABIL—An old man ad vertises in a paper in- Keene, New Hampshire, for •a man that is able and willing by honest labor to earn one third the cost of hiring him, and not pickled with rum or baconed with tobacco smoke., aleo a woman capable of taking care of a farmer's kitchen and buttery, and neither too proud nor too lazy to do it, and who does not car ry a chignon big enough to hag her self in trying to get through a common doorway. A liberal price will h• plod for these rare relics of antiquity. Cell on or address, &c.' —Why is a young lawyer like the national currency? Because he is a legal lender and somewhat green. There is no harm in a glans of whisky—if you allow the whisky to remain in the glees. Amerioan Wonders # The greatest cataract in the world is the Falls of Niagara, where the water from the great upper lakes forme a river of three•fourtlis of a mile in width and then, being saildenly contracted, plunges over the rocks in two columns to the depth of 175 feet. The greatest cave in the world is the Maininoth Cave of Kentucky, where any one can make a voyage on the waters of a subterranean river, and catch fish without eyes.'• The greatest river in the known world is the Mississippi, 4,000 miles long. The greatest valley the world is the valley of the Mississippi. It con tains li ve hundred thousand square miles, and is one of the most fertile regions of the globe. The greatest city park in the world is in Philadelphia. It contains over two thousand acres. The greatest grain port in the world is Chicago. The largest lake in the world is Lake Superior, which is truly an u 1 land sea, being four hundred and thir ty miles long end one thousand feet deep. The longest railroad L, the world is the Nellie railroad, over three thong and miles in length. The greatest natural bridge in the world is the Natural Bridge over Ce dar Creek, in Virginia. It extends across a chasm eighty feet in width and two hundred and fifty feet in depth and at the bottom of which the creek Bows. The greatest mass of solid iron in the world is the Iron Mountain of Missouri It is three hundred and filly feet high, and two miles in circuit. The hest specimen of Grecian archi tecture in the world is the Girard col lege for orphans, in Philadelphia. The largest aqueduct in the world is the Croton Aqueduct, in New York. Its length is 403 miles, and its coat 2,rgx),(xo. The largest deposits of anthracite coal in the world are in Pennsylvania, the mines of which supply the market with millions of tons annually, and appear to be inexhaustible.--Arnrrican Engiturr THE HOUSE OF DEATH =I [Colonel John flay, in “ra•tillan 1 , 11 r.," 101114 the awry of a 110410 duke who allot up his milady inanition when kin 411`1141 wife wa9 elu ded nut of It, and left it to lair into decay In the midet of immolating life Not *horn' ha. tho latettet SlllOO xh , • W 01) t out 1.1 the door, N. footstep 111111i11 0 / 0 0. 14 the thretthohl Him• •he eon 001110 111110 more 'I here le rush upon lock.. .114 i hinges And mold end Wight on the walle, And shamus hunts In the chambers, And dark peen salts 111 the halls Walla aa all things have been welting Strive she went, that clay of aprlng , Borne In her pallid aplendor o dwell in the eourti of the l tag. With on brow and Imeorn, With robe' of sulker nheen. And her wonderful frozen beauty The Inur e s and silk between. 1t..11 Ille I. she heft behind her, Rot they tiled long, long ago 'Tway the 0d0r...s ghost of a I,lormorn 'next meer,•4l through then dual( to glow The garment,. Mlle left mock the nhadown With Minn of w ))))) anly grace, And her image "Vitus In the mirror I hat wan no used to her face The tdrdn make inaolenl musk Where the munghine Hoist nulaldn, Aud 1114. winch. are merry and wanton, With the Kummer's 110111 p and pride 14111 Irnu thi. desolate mansion Where 1014e41 the door, Nor sunshine nor slimmer shall enter Slime she ran ono. In no more MAILING AN t—A very 111C1IleGl Vllrred a day or two ago at the to-i "Mee, which is too good to he lost A ,zentleinan taking tea at St NleitOla., "II it rainy evening called the man id all work employed about the place- a raw Teuton, by the way—and requeeteil him to take some letters to the poet office, telling hint to take the umbrella no ns hot to get wet. was the reeismse of the Ger man, and Mr he went, taking the um brella with him. ' : " . 3 gentleman thought no more of the umbsella until the next day, when, remembering that he had loaned it to die tiermith, lie sought the latter and interrogated him. 'Joe, did you take my umbrella td the post office?' 'l)er boat office? Vali.' 'Well, where ie it? 'Pod' Chicago --Detroit ' 'Dui you leave it at the poet office? 'Yale Vali!' Procuring the service 01 an interpre ter our friend asetrtained that Joe. of ter depositing die letters in the office, supposed the umbrella was to accoru parry them—probably to keep them dry--and attempted to put the umbrel la ii}to the letter box, but it would'm go down. Ile then took it to the place for depositing newspapers, and by putting his shoulder to the handle of the umbrella he succeeded in eliov• rig it down into the spout its entire length, and there left it, su pposing rt would go where the letters were direc ked--pish Chicago—Detroit. On going to the post office the state ment, of Joe was confirmed by those who had quite a Lack to remove the umbrella from the narrow place into which the innocent Teuton had shoved it. --'Now, gentlemen,' maid Sheri• deo to his guests, as the ladies left the room, 'let um understand each other. Are we tohlrink like men or licartis'l Somewhat tadignaiii, the guests ex claimed, Like men, of course.' 'Then,' lie replied, 'me are going to get jolly drunk, for brutes never drink more than they want.' -,--Youtnr swell : eti?,boy,what do you do •with your clothes when you've worn them out P• Ragged boy : 'em homy. --=-Solig fir tite,itystol—Keep me it: my huh, bed. What a Wail I 'When an'American journal,daiming to be republican in politics,finds breath to deplore the probable recall of Na poleon to take the helm of the French ship of state "by the suffrage of the French people,":it may bo time to in quire what we are coming to. We may regret, even in this country, that the people sometimes call some one politically opi,osed to us, to the execu tive chair. But, as a rule nobody re gards it as anything to wail about. If the French people want Louis Napo leon who shall set up to say them nay? Certainly s ot journals which make a speciality of looking to the people as the legitimate source of power. The French masses love peace. They are conservative, and have never been republican. The eighteen years of peace and prosperity under the rule of Napoleon constitute an arghment which all the smooth tongued dema gogues in France, and elsewhere, can not shake. Add to this the fearful dis order which results to the rule of Paris democracy, and the wonder which some express at the probable recall of Napoleon disappears. It has been fashionable to abuse that monarch in this country ; a bad fashion, because without cause. It he flung it the pseudo republic of 17-18 it was for good cause. Ile on ly strangled the bun's cub. The French d emocracy cannot be leashed with silken cords. Nothing less than chair's of steel will suffice to restrain that eenii-barbarous class. It may be said that the republic has not Ind a fair chance lor its Ilk.. Is it necessary to doom France to the dogs in order to carry on an experiment that cannot now succeed ? There exists not a single condition of success for the ro public in that country. For at the start the masses are not republicans. Republics are possible only by coin moll consent. There is no consent to representative government there; or, at least, not a purely republican gov ernment. The greatest stickler for technical forms must agree that even the order that reigned in Warsaw is better than the anarchy which to day desolates France.— The Day. A MARRI 4G6CERF.MONY.-A far vveal• ern marriage ceremony,: thirty years before the Pacific railroad annihilated the "far West," has been deswbed to IN. Scene---Potato Field.—The magis trate in his shirt sleeves, busily plying the hoe. Enter two candidates for inatribony why.. hollow him closely along the row. The magistrate at first pays no attention to them. "lie you the squirerthe youth asks. "Yes, and the hoe rises and falls faster than ever'. "We want to he married I" the youth desperately sn"Well, ehet up, dern you, till I get to the end of this row. I'm counting the hills." Thus admonished the twain follp‹ - ii him along hand in hand, intil th end of the row in reached. "Twenty-eeven, twenty eight. Now dent you, bland up here!" and the squire leans for the moment upon the hoe handle. "Do you Ito the youth) solemnly swear, by thunder, to take this woman for your wife?" "Yes," "Do you (to the girl) solemnly swear, by thunder, to take this man for your husband?" "Yes." "Then I Byrom', by thunder you are man and wile." FOOTPKINTS,—'What rs that,fatherr asked Benny, 'lt is a footprint, my son, and its a sign that some one Came into our front yard last night.' 'lt must be,' replied Benny, 'for there coul4 not be a foot print without somebody had been there to make it.' Mist is true, Benjamin i and now show me Borne of the footprints of the Creator I' 'I don't understand you, lather,' Benny said. 'Well, who made all these beautiful flowers; these splendid trees; the Clouds up in the sky ; the great round earth ; and set the mighty BUII flaming in the heavens, and started the bright moon to rolling round the earth?' 'Oh, thud, to be sure 'Then alislieme things are but foot• prititm of the Creator. They are the sign 'hot there to a eteator, and that he 1111- 1,1. II here See thil , tee plant that I 1,.. '1 WWI (.otllll 111,11' have 1114.1.' i Is e all lie hear all the eitirpin: hide .11d not, nor could not ..ke them t God made them, tel they are all munple footprints of he (Treat Creator, to prove to tie teat there is a good and great God, whom we love, worship and obey. Do you understand?' 'Ye.. Int Ler, I understand very well •, I I !hunk you for teaching me that --A loan some nixty wiles below New ()Hewn.' wan aaonied by ik stran ger: _ 'Mir, lim e you any money about yowl' 'Yee,' was the reply, 'I always make it a point to carry some money with me, more or lees.' 'Well,' rinnined the stranger, 'I wish to cross the river; the fare is ten cents. Would you please to accoin modate me with that sum ?' The man put on a look of well at fecie•l exclaimed— ton mean to say that you lint ,'t Iwo ceolit?' •Y, tir; I haven't a cent,' rejoined the • 'Well,' I eoponded the gentleman, 'if you haven't a cent. it'll make little difference on which side of the river you are,' and coolly left , ,the stranger to his own reflections. —A good sort of man was recent ly asked to subsoribe for a, chandelier for the Aura. the After! you gel tt goo e.it't 'get any one to play on it.' All Sorts of Paragraphs —Toilers of the sea—Opticians —The spring time of life—Ou r d ime . ing days. tho —Layi e. ng down the law Floonng judg —The oldest woolen's tib--The broom stick.',, —Company &111 Instructing thq servants beforo your party. —Wily is herb soup the hest 44 all soups 7—lt is soup-herb (superb). —How to find steady employment-(lot inside the State prison. —A time not to run—Whin you ar t sure you cannot be elected. —Wily is a thunder -storm U r a il onion 7—lit.cituso it is peal on pool —lt hag boon said that pantalimi obtained on crodit, aro "broerbesuf trust " —Nounk, Connecticut, boaqi three-eyed cnt; and inquires luov iv thel for oyo —No man is always wrong , dilek that does not go at Is right t. 4 .11 tweltro hours --The kindest of Torn--A N1144'44 (leer is n man who never leavei lowa in distress. -- Why la n sick eagle II) Ig bank rubber? Because it's un ill eagle proceeding. —Why are modern hello, lib burg. I are 7 ❑ecatiee they deign)) , theli mat I ock , 1 by powder. Why is a specimen of g,0,1 writing like a dead pig Ileesu,e done with the pen —A quaint old Scotch proverb runt thus. An oonco of mother 14 worth pound of clergy —Jefferson did not writ; "Rip Vas Winkle" himself, but I? wroth the Declaration of I roloporolon -IVornan's-rights women may y nspiro to positions in tnn navy Lett wlfo was an old salt, you know —lf tbo oyster could sing, sii , Imo no doubt its song would bo, not i , iii i t mu," but "koop ma in Toy ludo bid —Why aro poor relations like fits t the gout Because the oftener thl come tho longer they stay. —lf a lover finds a pleasant r 1.4 from his sweet heart stuck in Ins tel hole, is a key-note to his heart. —Glory Is well enough for a rick min, but it is of very Ilttlo consequence' t ot poor man with a largo family —Tho difference between a 4ch.4. boy and a clerk-boy is, that one stony the mind and the other minds the more. When shall a man dine? 1 / 1 ,, i; , 14 answered the question thus • If rich when ho likes; if poor, when he can. —lt is said that thorn aro no frou: ships balwenn women so strong that CAA good looking man Is not ahl to burl up. 41fudtbras' was tbo monument of CAI Butler , why 8 hould not tho monornen: of anothor Butler, be hewed o' brw also? —The new style of ladle,' hats an very beautiful They resemblea der. wiper with a fringe, and are gum. te. coming. —Thoro is only onn objectinn to tov. pie who "mean well, ' nod that 1-, tint can nover sparo titrio to carry out their moaning. —A. clergyman offers tip prae , •r , tho Legislature or wh,. 6 is says , is disposed to repot' e%rit tho commandments. —People should never Interpret mit. 111311 too literally. To "spend t h e ing guest" it is not nece,otr) to ct him down stairs. —ln Boston, When a lady rid , . out. she is said "to take an airing, in Pitts• burg, on the contrary, her Ape: take a smoking. —The question of the day 1, whether it is more difficult for a girl of thy pn• od to got her clothes in her trunk or her trunk In her clothes. —The difference between love and law is: In love the attaehinentpreeeles the declaration ; in law the de, tare , : precedes the attachment —The season fur sitting on ioodu alma tins begun. A man noar Dann sat on one the other day, and they bar• led both of hirn in the amino gran' ei —Whyis play lig (2111 1 4 , 4 x iii”re iimplitry 1.1'1'11110.14M 0111)1 I 1111111.4 41,1, toil 11111 y itt W: l4 but curds with lour Water will make n 41");;• two tight Wo have wen IL gum' agni younettien tight in their hoot• Intelf. They must have been out in Ow dunp —A young roan stoppod Him shop and said ho wanted /I rnung man's companion." " Well, ar, the bookadlior, lioru's my ,ady Jeugh' tor " --Although stringent, the gaino los of Pennsylvania do not KA" h " u ' e. hunting, nor prevent artful 111 /I of certain age from setting their nets --An Irishman stho had blistorA hii fingers by endeavoring to pull on s roll r of boots, exclaimed : believe never got there on until I wear them ► day or two.' —"The last word" is the iiket dan• gerous of infernal machines. Husband end wife should no more strive to get it than they should struggle to get pose's lion of alighted bombshell. --Chase's chanoes fur the Presidenc! are not good. Crept has givon the country such et surfeit of le •hOat the people will never ron , ,ot t p st,wk the White frotieu with &Mein —lt was Coleridge who mini of school master, who was fond of sppir ing the birch, that it was lucky for Ms cherubim. who carried him to heaven that Choy were all head and wings• —As illustrating the humorous, l'ro fessor Lowell mentions an a dvertn ment that caught his eye some tune since: "Wanted, by u, boy, u ,itustio e in an eating-house.' fie is used to the business."