The Demo ratic Watchamn.
BELLEFuNT E. l'A
THE COW BOY
Pay alter (lay:when the tax tly
Were twltterlng through the 1,.10.+
"Eitmk .nehric!" aerwo. the .ittl%et
Ile would a all his mother a 1•4b..1
..Wfsee whey and. filet% the tl rum and
11.11
Of dm clumsy ['wadi,. bar,
And an knew he had turret the one told
Mottle," and nHome," “Star
merry , Cry, and then a hn , h,
And then Plump , ring.—
Ile had fund 11111111 ' P 111
Anti wan happier than a hillg
- 1 . 1a , d1 and plamh l • lIIId •Nio4.k, '
And tramp and !till aigam—
He had td,dight to+• ild br.d.
Anil wit% pdagiria up rim lam.
Fpingrpang' V1111 , .1. ' 111 the 1.1,1:et i•••Iil
And I.ttruitlhed .411 s Or hr/KIII•
And Own 11. 1.101 I{olll . ll tut 111111011 g etnnl
All.l Was 111116 log tt ith all litt• !night
(1 1j7 4 7 tterI41ni'1 :: " 17:1 11trio Vlt7llt 1111 g f hon.,
And 14 . 1ita soiling paw?. shining and 'hallow
pan
Ina the watery ••walring lautama• finer
la% went and earn.. and .11111.. 1111 , 1 .1.111,
And over 111114
N 4, prize lII' , 111 , 1,1111 • all sva. tri..lll
Wllll lhe IiIIIICIIIIK 11.4,1)
Ilia In Ilni dingle and in the .1 II
1).•.•p tlie
I lie little Intl that tele )1 PS I'd 411 .4 . ri
‘1 K, /i• Irr tilt grattinitir lititil
M==
Fur the 1,, , 1011.1. 1.111
1111 1 11/1111 , Ihnt 1111.11 111. `.inl,
Tricks of Conjurors
THE RISKS Jun N N ‘R11444t,..4.,*
. tl , .t. 4 , i 1t , ,11E111 11,,1 1 , 1 \
Hobert littii.lin ii-e.l ttt pm% that it
the 'while knew what
the of a ciutittr i rif . vt hen he ,ee,
the barrel 01 turned ltmarbi
11,11, w Ihr,.Merle id a "firearm trick,
the) %twill perkily.' g,i‘e hcul credit fur
Its nlueh net, e and courage as lire dra,
eat .ttl.lJer .Itttw4 In battle .111 orrcin
Slut, 111 P4/the trltling Runic, the break
tug otl of ci ircc all part of the ral-e rain
ro d, or of lice real bullet to it is being
withdrits.ii, ma% inal.y thcitric
hint: c titen, too, the 4rick is a new
One, and ”oine 1111 l)
make the plan a failure, where tartar,.
Ilia,' mean dealli
even, Which touk Hare iri the Cirque
Naletleon at PArt.strllituglN illtustrate,,
I I I. Pr I •ie•itetri, the cow
,furor, Ita4 ()tiered a gun to a speettttor,
evict, tbreetittitt. good :ton lit the
doctor, a W/1.4 Io eerelie the oil,
Charge on the posit /0%14.1 The
luau relined, but another enrich flied on
aye gun an , lirected . 1 be iimineut at
ter doetOr fell co Ihe V 1,111141, Pe
re,II%IV wounded It alp, loiiiid Elia! a
Nee, of tile ramrod had Itr,tken Oil ICI
the barrel, and Uoi, fired oil at ml elo-e
a range, had penetrated the ronjuror .,,
rigid. lung.
frytittimlttneo• In Houdin ft I fln
, Ifott, flow .1331,1,11 Y the (•ofilliffiN who
4111111 re WI will often play with
i/Clieliiluirig on flitor refolt fitfe.er. ftt.
ron. their ,•:tlety pert rated
.trtrillog firearm Inn It+ Ifrfore tt
par!, of krftlottf,, ninth Iri ; _!
1111. inifill
1 ,1,14.1, %dill 11 im Mo eoulnte • l Hint
till riplilrO I Wllll.lrhi. , the 'W e t
t'Aittrabofff, who littui I.ollle .118 1 .1,14 m of
th. true ofilllre Of the In. k. wit,/ '•
,
tVI ' l t t rrn 1.1 f
•'YP-I li I
1,111 tit..., .-• 11,4 r
I
31m, M timer II im H--1-• nrr
' 1
h. lit \• i•nrt%
tit. I .t!!, r,l n -a , n.•r!t t t„thy
4,11 the ,•
I 1,,,1 I he% were 4,•41 t,.1 tilt 1
Welt . kral, 1,,5 t. -tt ) l Itt
Jitttiltto. .Itt, kal,
1r 1h runr , , I II ‘4.1,
11, 1 , 1'1 , 4% a , 1 ei et, 4 . ... Wen ;IN
V , l•
,{lj4 /. -Le IJACk the
A ritt, or,e of rise I , Avit , l
••\ Jr.', he -all
ii.• ArnL .I,J ,xn I Ilotl I.n wan
rven brt wee!, lo• tenth
Se. Zing die other
r•mh - you carlr of 1.11. I,WII Weill/
lit re. YOll 1A1l,t• been 1/1/11.
Lle 1.1 , 11 . 111 , 1 Idol
%%1h drat. blood from 11•1,
i.tioul ;it tire Mali, tired, And 1111
triedintel) n 01./111i of 1,1 1 , 1 •.1 was Ace!,
711.•N111 , 110/.11 Neill up to the wa yarns
when be had dipped him finger 111 the
him, I, which wai trickling .1 , 0.1111. 1114
flWe Hll l l ania/einent Were twi great that
111 leatitre4 ai.mitted u
Yet. 1 1 1 e trick Maw simple enough, two
prepared Millets having been skillfully
telhatituted to, Ifoutlin for the leaden
Mullets he took up from the ranter
lint the experiment was Artie new,unif
ourliii trlbt ns kitikt he trembled, and
(mold oterterelx control him terror as he
..1:1.W the Maraltout frawittg the trigger
of the pistol,
STORIES FROM THE OPERA
=I/
Those were gay tubes in Madrid,
when a mirth loving queen wits reign
ing over Spain; her court fulT intri
gue, and her people only to,glaitt,ti tm
itate the aristocratic example. The
gilt est of all the gay scenes was enact
ed at the annual masked balls, which
the queen gave in her own palace. It
was at one of these that old Prince
firumbott, who had married a young
and beautiful princess of the royal fam•
ily, illustrated the customs of the day
by etimplitining to Don Julian, one of
the gallants or the time, of hie jeal
ou4y of Count Horace Messerena, a
young and handsome cavalier who had
found sudden favor at court awi had
been rapidly promoted to a secretary
ship. The old prince was compar t
lively at his ease on the paraticular
evening, as lie had left his wife at
home in a sick bed, and he agreed to
come to Don Julian's bachelor apart
ments after the ball, and at least se
cure the revenge of beating the young
beeretary at card.
Doti Julian, finding Horace, re
proached him lor intriguing with
cess Gruitibo(f, when lie was 10 soon t)
les married—for an excellent match
had already been planned for the" rig
ing toilng twin.
- . filet marriage will never take
place," said Horace; "hut you are
wrong in supposing (list I tim in hive
ith tirmilbotrs wife. I hate timer
so as seen her"
"Theo why will the inarrnige never
lake piace?".amkeil
"lledaime 1 Mil Infatuated tvlllt 11111 .
other. 'l , llOll you about it. Just one
year ago, to night, at this 1411111 C Lail, a
lady in a black domino dropped her
mask had I beheld the most lot ely
face in Ole world. Sh e %TRH accom p a
need by a companion whit remained
masked. I approached the Indy, of,
course, and was even more charmed
with her conversation and inanrwrs
than with her litre. She was young
and innocent, and told me that it was
her first ball—now don't laugh. We
were deeply engaged in talk when her
companion came along hurriedly and
whispered, 'l2 o'clock, madame.' So
soon !' exclaimed the other, and they
left me iinniediattiv. I went down
mtairs and saw them get Into then. car
MU
• 'l ' be 11111,111,111 el/11011%1th 11113 mice
1111111111111 , 1 the NW+ before . ' .41,41,,,1
ti/m• laugh again, Mr tlit had
liirgotiMi their mir , (ea
"( /h, nit cuttl , e, am( )utt ganc them
Autirq How much wart (here in it ?•'
la a lay or tiVo, 1 reeeittal the amber nolo rushed in
hack. but ui another purse richls eni. .rhe new collier hastened to explain
bronlered, with pearl., nail containing , Obit she had been to the queen's ball,
flit. paper, "Yon are the secretary of that she had lost her party mid car
the emba , ..t , which I think I under- nage, and that the streets were hi) hill
at( „„I you wished to be '• S ore enoug h, of-rude people she had rushed into the
that tore day I reamed official notice fir.d house where She maw a light. She
t my appointment." ' pleaded for shelter and protection, but
'A mere comenlence ..Ind you have soon s , JAs that Jacinth' , was one of the
neser seen her since 9" hind Thal would sell what she would
"No :Ify only hope is that she not girl' I Some pieces of gold and one
writ re appear at the ball to night." of the lady s diamond roo.:s secured a
lion Johan, %%hose ideas dal not rise Protium' ul temporary protection, but
abuse a street intrigue, continued to when -he heard that they Sere lotehe
laugh and joke Horace until he left lor apitrtinents where a .upper was to
him, and the toting man, inclined to I Riten that night, she was alime4 iii
re;ret that he had told his storv,threw (died to In the -treat ;seam .• Foot
honsell upon the lounge in the ante steps decided her , h°lever, and she
room to listen to the inu.icand wait.' rushed into Itaine room,
Ile had scarcely June SO, before he "here she "a" told she find
noll(eil a black domino clime in AC- other garaiestii belonging to .Inein
companied as the year before, and he niece, Inef+llla, sail that she could oass
recognized los unknown anal 'oyster ] herself ill for trim,oun g wointsa, who
uus ticquamtatice with whom he hind had been expected.
I
lien so deeply in love lie feigned . 1 be "black ,onion," who hail just
sleep in order to satisfy himself , thygstaken refuge in the ihtlae a rommwhen
for the "black do liil Perez, who had keys to this house
mina,' rnaile nn ollerin4 of flowers, tin its well ms his convent. came nn arid
masked herself a moment, an d gas e was 1111011 t 10 unlo c k4l Jacinth:Cs door,
evidence. of silent ildnorasi, hie], there to remain until the supper was
a
rewarded the young Ws it when finished. Old •laeuitlia caught hint
his friend Johan m.p.g..] through the Just in time and P"hlied him into aht
room, Horace wuke up suddelbly and the root" "PPosile.
ran to lion The result of a moment's .lu'inn and his friends now came tin
coniersat ion wits Ant Julian asked singing and carousing, and prepared to
the companion Out to dance, and !for make a night ol II Hornee was arming
ace sail the ' . black domo o were left the nutnber,bat wits more reserved and
alone quiet--a mood Irma which the banter
The halt now titat,le no effort to Con•
veal her ttletitity, tilinta•ltt4,-.arttl gar
Iter.elf alt a moment to Iforace's ar
dent tleclaratlttn of 14.%(` Theft mhe
Lneke at‘as from hint and told hurt
that he flitt,t forget her,reatititlittg hint
that he wile Itlreath Itetrothel to Count
•••t t I,tte a ' n daughter
Hit I ttillunter 111'117, N 1 l iere Irvin
rot lost• I lotse Hes er rt en r-I ell till•
1.1 , 1, Nod i ,Itti lose no °lip but )011
• Tut 11111 WI( trer to refill e our
lose
"Error heaven.' Are )ou roar
Whs ~I,,,uhin't I be.'"
I v,IIV have We 'net again 9
that l might P y )ou 'fare
well h.re,•er
At illl.l inirrenting potnt, the fussy
old Prince Grumholt ' came into the
rimm, allll, thinking that he recogni,
t , l itu wile under the black domino,
re.mticeil to satisfy himself by asking.
Ler to dance Ilorace disputed the
right, but the lady settled the matter
by ar eeeding to the old prinee ' a requeat
prmiiumig to Miner next with Horace,
and went out Don .fulian returned
from his dance with the 00111 pilfl , oll at
this moment arid overwhelmed Horace
with Tit—Dons. The young man had
,11 , 4C4), ere I not ing,hovrever,evept that
ti,•• "blank .1011111111 ' wan tweed to lea% e
with r 1. .“111.1t111 , 1.1 at preeimely 12
"I % Ili tba Nan! the gill Don
•• I Ise companion will lie here
moment " Ile then eteppol on a
chair and 11101 ed the liandn oldie clock
forward to a minute of twelvt. — The
companion came into the room
_mit as
it struck the in iirdooked about lor the
do 1111110: called for her every
where in fright, and, finally despairing
of finding her muffled from the house.
then, laughingly, changed
`the clock back to the right hour. Go
ing back to the ball room, he met the
old Prince Grionhoff, fuuun, with rage
and begging Julian to lend lion lie
carriage. He was now certain that the
"black domino . ' wan no other than the
wife whom he had left at home on a
tuck bed. Ile lind seen the unko%en
lady's handkerchief, in the corner of
hich wan embroidered the Ulliitre'e
royal escutcheon. The fact, indeed,
seemed to be plain. Julien could not
refuse to let him have the carriage,
but promised Horace that the servants
should tip the old fellow over arid give
the young man time to send the wife
home.
When I,he "slack domino" came in
to the room, Horace rushed to her.
"Fly, madame, I eqreat you. All
is known—and you. ate hist. Your
husband is furious, and he has gone
home to detect you."
"Fly ? At a quarter past 111 I
think not. My husband. You are
dreaming."
"No. Prince Grumboff is raging, I
tell yon, and has just left."
"Prince Grumbolf, my husband F'
exclaimed the pretty "black domino,"
ac she horst out into a rich,clear laugh.
"( /It, no. I anullOt married. You can
have my company for three quarters of
an boor longer."
The mystery was only renewed at
this, and Horace's infatuation increas
ed iii proportion. Ile found' it
ho%%ever, to penetrate the lad)'s
secret; he could only receive the prom
that she would see hint opce more,
but when or where, she refused to re
veal. The tune ,tole on only too
quickly, and, to 4 the hoar of 12 was
strork Lt the clock, the -black
mine began an imody to look rotbry•
where for her companion. llorac&was
then forced to confess he trick which
had been played by liiS friebd.
-You have ruined me, sir," Cried the
Ind", and, without another word, she
broke awn) from him and rltSlied out
of the bou,e.
=I
Don ,Inlian's bachelor apartments
were all 11181 a gay gallant or the tone
could have de4ired. Th(y were guard
ed by Jacintha, who had already ad
vanced in Henry and receded to heatit),
but not so notch so that hlie did not
partake of the spirit of the age and
maintain her own little intrigue with
Gil Perez, the old porter of the neigh
boring convent of St. Rosa. dacit.tha
had prepared a stimptuon. for
Don Johan and hi- iru•i .l.rap
on the return from the hall, and she ex
, ected her (id that night to moue the
!nine !me re% alter the gal
law , . hail departed While she 1% fIP
pondering ahem xhc P 11,011141 ~tore till
fIWaV until alter 'Nipper, the door open
ed quickly and n lady m it [dark .li,
mg of his friend,' could not repent. lion
.1 aci Wm now brought her niece lite-
I-411a in to help wait upon the supper
Ifer appearance created a derided corn
motion among the most of the cornea
ny hecautie of her ',entity, hit Hof
tie's Mina Oil firrotira 1)1 the wonder
hi I re-einblance which he found to the
II tl NOW II Inds 10 the black .101111110
II hale sworn that it wan the
liertion, had he not conceived
it mull be nulninnible
The piling girl Inas scarcely allowed
to inuell waning [WM the table, so
attentive were all the gent letnett to her,
each one vientig w th the others by say
rig gallant things to her. At last, as
tine only way of escaping these at ten
Lions, which were becoming altogether
too marked, she agreed to tong them a
song however, was the niost
unfortunate Ohm!, she could have done,
for no moonier had they heard her sweet
voice thrilling the peasant rondo of
"liter' the flay," than all crowded
about her, demanding a kiss. They
were evidently of the °pluton that the
peasant dress 'Worded au excuse for
any overtures they might make. At
this, tire false Inesilla became really
Inglitened. She struggled as long as
she couhl,then flying to Horace's arms,
she exclaimed •
'For Godm sake, protect me, sir.'
Horace !undertook to do this in such
earnestness that the others desisted,
and withdrew to the carol room—all
but Horace, who remained behind to
satisfy himself in regard to !octane's
real character. But now that she had
nothing 'note to fear, she relapsed into
the condition of the peasant girl, and
would not admit that Horace hail ever
seen her before. It was only when
Prince firtinitolfwas announced that
she acknowleg.
'Yes, yes,' she said, hurriedly, 'I
ant the same; but he Intik not see me.
Oh, save me, sir, save me. I can go
tit this room, sir, if you will swear to
let no one in.
'I swear it, upon my life," was llor
ace's answer, and the lady having
stepped into hemline's room, lie turn•
ed the key upon her. Satisfied that
she was safe for the present, and know
ing that his absence front the card.
room would be noticed, lie went away
from the supper-room.
Dill Perez, the old convent porter,
tiring of hie close quarters in the little
room opposite, now came out, and re
wive(' to go into Jacintha'a room, for
which lie bad a key among hie great
assortment, there to await his tete-a
tete and supper. He had no sooner
turned the key than a female figure in
a black domino and mask opened the
door, and (II!, thinking it a ghostly ap
paritiniti, fell trembling upon his
knees."
'Oil Perez,' said the apparition, in a
grave voice, 'thou art a thief and spy,
betraying tlie trust put in thee. De
liver up to me the keys of which thou
ham!, or the gates of !leaven shall be
clored against thee.' •
Gil was too much frightened to 're
fuse. The lady in black took the keys,
motioned the porter to ge into ,laciti
tha's room, and then gliaisti out of the
house unseen-, as soon Its she had
watched dikintha enter the same room
and turned the key upon both of them.
She hind been gone but a few min
utes, when Hotline Caine back into the
room, which was now dark, dactutha
Laving taken the precaution of putting
out the lights here, so that she might
entertain Gil undiscovered, in her own
room. Horace approached die door
cautiously, look out his key, anti tin
locked it.
Now, fair lady, we are alone?' he
exclaimed, as lie seized old Jacintlia
by the hand, thinking t was the pret
ty 00111 an of the black (Minim) and
the peasant's dress.
Just at that moment .fulian and his
lends came in, the hornier carrying it
light, and discovered llorace, to
his own 110 Itas than to
the amusement or the oiliers, in the
art of pitying very deltctvet attention to
old .IfICI II I ha.
Ton chased a pheasant and caught
an cub' exclaimed the friends, con
yoked Avttli laughter, which Horace
could escape only by running away.
1=133
he nest t lay wns In be a wila tiny
At the eon%ent of St. flops, whose lior
ter bad come to grief in so humiliating
manner the night before. It \%7118 the
neea-lon ot the final prote.sion end or
iloott nin of 1) e netsa t)1 )e 4 e, Vl' hi 0 W/114
to , the q ueen, The ronl
tind the entire court had tiF.ernbled
111 the consent chapel to be Kesept at
the ceremony, and It era., ~ecidudl~
the great event of the year,
let Sister Itrigittn, who wax the
room mate of Sister A m ela,the queen's '
cousin and abbess to-he, was at this
Isle hour lamenting her companion's
absence, and had to explain to the
cralud old Sumter Ursula, who had tin
ambition to become abbess herself,
that the fatly was suffering with a sick
head ache, w hien had kept them both
up all night Ursula it as complaining
that the keys of the convent had been
In -t, and the porter, Gil Perez, snore
that he had been attacked, knocked
down in the street and robbed of every
thing he had. •
"zister Itriguil was considerably re-
Ite%ed when Sister Urania had gone
out, to have Sister Angela steal in
Curnimdy enough, the latter wore, in
stead of the sister's garb, a black do
nano %bleb is already familiar to the
reader, and she had a wearied and ter
rifled look, tis though she had passed
through a qight of ad% entures She
hastily explained to Itrigitia the duo ' 1
ger she had escaped in lonise and street, 1 1
how she gained the keys front Gil
Perez, and finally made her way into
the convent without being discovered.
She Own burned- to her room to put
on her abbess clothes, while Brigitta
•xplained to her that Sister V rsula had
been 'noting heat en and earth la court
to get the appointment of abbess for
herself, and how she feared that the
escape of the night before would be I
discovered and so give it to her,
' , lie tan have it and welcome,' said
sister Angela, in a tone of voice which
indicated that she would be only too
gin-I to get rid of it.
In the meantime, a gentleman had
requested an audience with the lady
abbess, and was ushered into the con
vent parlor to wait her conning. An
gels soon entered, clothed in her abbess
rol es and with her cowl so drawn 1
tier him face that her features could not
he flodinglifsheJ 'Cite chapel was al.
I,p )
read , , tilled nob no Noolfence made i
of the greatest f". I.!e in the realm wait
ink somewhat iini ,iro•nil% for the cer
emony which the 1 1,u1• to witness,
S'till the future iihkess continued to
hear what the gesiihnimi had to say.
'Rettiember, mother. lie said, rever
entially, as he approached her, scarce-
hi lifting his eyes to her, 'my name is
Horace Messerena I (have been le
(lambed to a young lady who is now a
.novice in this convent.'
'I have heard of the circumstance,'
was the quiet reply
'lint I have never hero her, and I
cannot go to the altar with Ler,because
I love another woman. She has only
heard of me, and the will riot Huffer by
my decision. I ccnie to you holy
mother, to tell her that I love an
Other.'
What more Ire would have stud was
Interrupted by Sister Crsitla, who
called to Sister Angela that the people
were getting impatient waiting lor her
At the same time, a messenger from
the queen came in and banded Sipter
Angela a letter. She tore it open Fur
lifted heevell,read, 'Your uncle,
Duke Olivares„ has left you his mag
nificent fortune and estates—your vo
cation is riot irrevocable,' and then she
rushed out.
'Worst of all I' cried Horace, who
had seen her lace in that moment.
'First, the black domino,tlien the peas
ant girl, arid now s he turns up to be
an abbess. It is clear that I am the
victim of some delusion. Shall 1 de•
stroy myself or shall I wail?'
Count Horace wisely concluded to
adopt the latter course. Old Prince
GrunibotT and Don .Julian now came
in, the former swearing at the occur
rence which had deprived his wife of
her uncle's fortune, now given to the
woman that was to be abbess, and Ju..
Ilan yawning and complaining that he
had been roused up eo early to witness
a stupid ceremony.
'Why, she's not to be made an at,
bees of, at all,' continued old Grum
boti,petulantly, 'but to be married out
right.'
At this; Sister Angela, clothed in
pure white and looking more like a
bride than an abbess, came in,followed
by all the nuns and the court.
'Before yielding up my powers,' she
said, 'I grant full pardon to Oil Pereze
for his misfortune last night. I now
turn over the sign and peal of my office
to Sist er Ursula who is to be your ab
Fo• . ye If, the queen decrees
(het I an. to ma , ry, and if I mistake
not, the gentleman whom I am to wed
is now near me.'
At this a light broke in upon Hor
ace's contused brain, and, finding that
the hand was given him which he
sprang out to seize, he disco s vefed that
the lady to whom he had been be
throthed, was no other than she whom
she had been pursuing so devotedly.,
The only person in the whole compa
ny who ere not abundantly rejoiced
nt the turn of affairs were old Prince
Grumbolf, who had lost the wife's for
tune which be hail expected, and the
nuns, who sent up a chorus of sighs
when they heard that • the sour -old
Sister Ursula was henceforth to rule
over them.
Wit and Wisdom
The Caucasian gelooff the following,
upon the marriage of n'n old friend and
'associate:
heal by 1018 the roses fall. Yelp by
yelp, young cherubs bawl. One by one
folks cross the river , one by one are
(erred o'er, and the white robed angel
boatman hears them to the blissful
shore. The trap sprung and another
victim caught. The nurorterml lariat'
thrown and another hapless bumpkin
rit long and dancing on the airy moll
ingness of boneymoonatio
(hie by one, our homiest companions
are passing away to that bourne
whence no toy tiger returns, rave
through a Chicago divorce court, or
he ex ponse'ol a first class funeral At
present rate., the jerermailes of the last
doglennel blossoms of 4urnmer wilhere
long, be ours: 'All our blooming as
socuties are faded and gone' to happi
neon of the connulmih-tic t 1 pt'. A few
venrs stnce a noble Land of handsome
mid high aspiring friends stood around
its —fresh, bright, verdant young plantr .
The matronomar sonoon swept over
the plain—and where are Mikey now?
Smitten, blasted, cm down like the
grass of the - field, which to day is, and
to morrow is made into hay to feed a
donkey, or hue a goose's nest I railed,
withered, dry enough for pearticks.
Alas alas what has got into the
youth of the land? ('aught by a giggle,
see how they wriggle. In vain do we
expostulate and warn them. The tinkle
of a guitar, or the rippling 'teechee' of
maidenly merriment, conies floating
on the air, and the admonitory roar of
friendly Niagara, would be unheard,
Ileedlessly,•—needleenlv, scorning Hi
stiltiction, onward they're rushing, cur
ging and prishin2,ilown to destruction,
or to matrimony, which amounts to
the same. The young, the brave,the
grty,the grays, the ugly, the pretty,: the
silly, the witty, brilliant, the stupid,all
yield to Cupid—all remit resistlesslys
hound to travel the broad gudgeorf-v''
path that look to beatific moonshine,
white 1,1i6, orange 1,10,801115, altars
and benevolent parsons, vineclad cot
tages, grocer bills, wash drays and bits
cult, slops, coffee, reedy hats, patched
elbows, laded calicoer,drudgery,squallo
and variegated unpleasantness! l'uor
wretches( nen% en help them.
A Student's Joke
Ithendzer Swell!, of Brunswick, is a
pro-..n00n dealer Ile ha." b e en a
meat man Brunswicl, for the last
luill centur, and probably furnishes
Bowdoin aitolenta tougher 'neat and
harder swearing than they ever expo•
rienced in after lite Ebenezer is com
siderable ul a wag, but a story is told
in Brunswick which shows that at
least on one occasion he was outwitted.
A student called into his market one
morning and seeing a large tub full of
eggs on the floor, eyed it acre wisely
for some moments, and thus accosted
Sweat :
"I will wager you twenty-five cents
that I can lump into that tub and not
break an egg '
"You can't do it," replied Sweat
'I stake twenty free cents I can,' re
sponded the student
'Well, here's twenty five,' continued
Sweat, 'put up t our money.'
The money wart accordingly solemn
ly put into the hands of a third party,
and the student prepared for the difti
cult encounter. In a moment lie made
a leap, and the next: moment he In
cram!' into the tub of r , and he
rented Inns feet on the honor'', breaking
nearly all the eggs In the tub.
'There,' exclaimed Sweat, in a fury
of delight, 'you've lost. I knew you
couldn't do it,' not thinking in his de
light al %yummy, ol ant thing hut that.
'Wet', rep! ed the student, as be
Pout', in ned and went 11111 tt be mar
ket, flu ti-17‘e %.
Il on., a lung Inn. I,,re I ben. it•J
recovered from tL. ..t et. of tliat joke.
F•RMER'S 1 'HELD. - - We believe iii
small farms and thorough cultivation.
We believe the soil loves to eat, as
9ell RS the owner, and ought there
f,,re I,i I, well manured.
In•io•ke in going to the bottom of
thinge,and therefore in deep ploughing,
and enough of it. All the better if it
be a eithem I plow.
We believe in large trope which
leave land better than they found it,
making both the farm and farmer rich
at once.
We believe every farm should have
a good farmer.
We believe the good fertilizer of any
soil is a spirit of i%dustry, enterprise,
and intelligence—without these, lime,
gypsum and guano will be of litte use.
We believe in good fences, farm•
houses and orchards, and children
enough to gather the fruit.
We lelleve in a clean kitchen, a
neat wire In it, a clean cupboard, a
clean dairy, and a clean conscience.
—The strangest case of absence of
mind was that of a monkey out in Pad
ucah, which used to sit out on the fonce
in a reverie, and try to pick its teeth
with the end of its tail I
—A hard quoitiCM—A Philadelphia
pallor prnpnundi the arithmetical conun
d run. • lit; w many ,• r.pana. aro there
a In , haw , . latterly mit.,,.n.eived their
aims an I
MI Sorts of Paragraphs
—A "green grocer" is descriheil ni
ono who trusts
—An unprotected female—Th e g o d
nose of liberty.
—Extremes most — Grant at the tomb
of Washington.
—A good stand for a regirnent to
take—a stand of colors.
—Sumo fat MOD 110 not seek grolitai , ,,,
it is thrust upon them.
—When is a fowl's neck like a lien ,
When it is wrung for dinner.
—When is your eyes not eyes? Nis h
the wind makes them water.
—An unfortunato listnor bogs h, r
some ono to In %Tilt a notsless hand ~,
San.
—.Order slate' hi the injudicious ni
vice suspended beforsk certain coal upi
forolield extomied to tho gabiti
end of his neck,' !nouns ho was bald.
headed. '
—A street organist has his round (,f
doily labor. No doybt it is often eery
grinding.
—Young women should set good e x .
R mpleq, for the young men are als.s,
following them.
—A poetical American describe. la
dle,' lips as the 'glowing gateways of
pork and potatoes '
—Mheets—A man named ~hest•, in
Fountain county, Ind , has just enough
to make n quire--4I
—A man with n scolding wife on f
has less fear of the jaws of death thin
of the jaws of life
- Innooeneo is like - an u nile,tle
w hen once we have lo,t, it, we may m t•
er hope to see it back again,
—Vonsi , tency—Asking a blessim 4
fore meat, and abusing the
through the entire meal.
--All the biographies of the great and
thin good show that not oil° of them had
a fashionable mother.
—A divateh lost from a carrier pig.
eon in flight, is not necessarily it dead
tetter,l'but only a drop letter.
--A Celestial agent offers to sill
wlndp.ale orders for Chinese litbnr at
$7,000 a hundred, C I)
—flow would you F pen k cif I. wan
who woe an excess' ve bore \ uld
you not call him a lin drborean '
--AVhat 14th(' moqt wonderful animal
in the farm-yard ? A pig, bccau+eln
tq killed and then cured I
—Detectives are supposed to be lynx
e) ed, but a night-watchman gets ttl , J74
very well with a bull's-eye.
—Thomas Jefferson never 111100 a
speech, having, as he termed it, no lite
ulty of third.ing when on hia legs.
—MrA A C. Bowles, of Cambridge•
is lecturing on 'Meddling Women
Thei is a comprehensive subject
—Why are country girls checks 111. e
French calico"' Because they are unr
ranted to wa h and retain their color,
--A mi.itrithrope Amid 'Don't
half what the peoplo toll you."‘ , ry
well s ' stud tinothee, 'but which half
- A recent writer on women,
her true piece PI et the fireside Itath
er en uneninfortiOle place in the MUM
13112
Jonah was the flrat person who ir,t
Nvhaled for de,bekbenco , but ho was
not the last, a, any schoolboy can tell
011
- The inhabitants of Alaska, don't
think much of ornamenting their
but they're very proud of their sealing
-It may not bo generally known
that editors get ono important 'trill of
subsistence at a low prico—they get
bored for nothing
--An lowa Boniface miles a party 1.,r
10, 'for burning a hole to my hall all,l
dancing therein ' A quoer place w
dance.
—One advantage of incineration 01
the deed, would be the saving of funer
al expemes and laying up the earnings of
tire family.
The chap who took the thread of
life to sew the rent, of a house has gone
and invented a patent point for cro•s•
eyed needles
-- An author, ridiculing the idea of
ghosts, mks how a dead man can get
into a Naked room Probably with a
skeleton key.
—lf Is 'min throws a huge atone at hi,
boad,would he escape punishment
on the plea that only meant to rock her
to sleep
—There is a lad of our acquaintare 0
who regards hunger and the chastening
rod 118 abou t the •ame thing, both
make the hot
-- A lad writin4 about Morinnto-tn
want, to know if half n hlighand,
can bn obtained lays, k not
t•.•tter than a wholii Ono.
young man in Ohio recently
opened a clothing attire, arid wit% Bent to
jail for it. Uauaa—the clothing , t , rn
belonged to another man
--'Grant is a conning dog,'
Washington correvondent. Yes! II
he made a first-class failure in the hark
bualnesa at Galena.
—A western paper has en article ee
'the care of idiots.' A cotomporary
says that paper is always dragging fam
ily affairs before the public.
—A Janesville, Wis ,
makes hart-pupils obedient by kissing
thorn. The boys are reported so bad as
to require frequent correction.
—The difference between the spring
proprietors and the barkeepers at Sara
toga, is, that the first bottle their writers
and the lest water their bottles.
—A Stratford man has buried his
fourth wife, and is looking about for
the fifth. That he should marry twain
seems to be four-gone conclusion
—A blunt but honest preacher rertent
ly declared that some people cannot -co
the difrprimen bpi wenn sounding the
NI trumpet and blowing their own horn.
—A young man • who was caught
straining his sweetheart to his bosom
the othe, night, justifies himself on the
groundAhat ho has a right to strain his
own honey I
—A Mississippian, in bragging about
his wife, wound up with the declaration .
'Why she'd make a regular high-pres
sure steamer, she's such a talent for
blowing u
II