The Democratic INatchrnani
II
BELLEFONTE. PA
THE. BRETON MARINER'S PRAYER
El=
"Keep moony (Mil I toy boot k so Polon nod
Thy ammo is so wider • • " - •
So wide. my Fat ber.:and the WIIVPS rotigh, '
Wilt Tim not guide my tiny lark?
Thellghtdoor.e oft mine eyee cannot d rkeern,
01 keep, me warn the•aklee are dnrk. •
So wide. oh, Pother! shall I ever reach
That farther, thstnat: golden •sfile t.
Alt, mine eyes oft fill and my heart oft faints
Reenose Thy ocean is so wide
,
. .
So whir, my 'Father. that tny yeornirig gaze
Falk to descry the farther shore ;
All Idly finpplon are my wido•sptend sails,
Sly boot slow glides the %Tato:Bo
lit guide mo snfe,•nil Father, for
Then knowest my bent In small;
And while I Mall the darksome water o'er .
I rest on Thee,lny life—my till! •
Oh, Father, when the reetteee neetinlit i o
Too toy hark. %vitt Thou tint guide
into .he'llittbor Thou tntwt bent. me onto; '
Ah, 010 I the (vertu la notrltlei •
ltenovo, Sep. 28. Ifau. •
• •
THROUGH THe BARS OF A CELL
, Courteous render, lam •Lbe - : iPmate
ortv - 14ate - PrisOn; - • Do - tura tie - nilO - niSh•
ed. my. Neill, at being; tuldresseil by
euclrnhein;l-, can nssure - LOtrt - nm
it special con Viet, and perhapic;som e pr
these days when I am free, you . may
.eneonnter my rental soli' in the bosom
of your social circle. if your ettriosi
ty is tiwnitenvij, I will breathe - to von
through the gratings of my cell, my
eventful history. It is a strange one:
•Tespeeted friend, Indeed I Mahe. !MEd
to say that a stranger one 'was never
'br@atlted• into your ear. .
- I had an Only brother. We had
been hrouglit'up in a distant village in
the Slate of Pennsylvania, Ou r
. r a t . h.
, er died when my younger . brother writs
leaving my mother very poor
. She brought us up bravely; however.
I, hying turb• eldest, was. sent off at an
early ege to fight the battle of life, and,
while helping. myself, to do something.'
towards others, With-this noble pur
fose in my mind I made rapid pro
gress. and had the hardihood to
set off to New York, rightly imagining
• that there were the greatest prizes' for
an ambitions youth: Full Of the most
ardent affection for - My mother, I tried
to make every tuyn to my Own ode/in - cc , :
meat.. I felt as tlkonelrevery act of my
life hail an effect Irvin their fortuneS.
This feeling .so inspired me that my
selt-denial was not' only easy bat
lightful.. Feeling as I did, that all my
savings benefitted them go greatly; bow
could 170 other Wise than save? •
- I was extremely fortunate -in—New
york. My last employers in the
country gave me letters to one of the
chief inerehants in this'eity. He re
ceived me kindly. Finding out my'
illustrious and 411 vitt habits, he speed
ilv promoted me:: Year by 'year lie.ad
Tied to my Salary. At length, . after
years of labor, I found myself, 'at th e
rige r .ofi r twenty4ve,.. the confidential
elerl«,r my employer, with' alarge sal- .
arv,.and. the control of
'Some years before I had conceited
the idea of giving my brother a good
education. My brother was to me
more like a- son • duo anything else.
II is nature was widely different &dm
mine. T was bold, resolute, daring;
. he was gentle, poetical and full of On
,tilllent. I was sterm . practical, and
independent; he wits quiet, reliant,
• and meditative. T was formed for a
life_a_warfare_aitaction_He
life of study and meditation.
Ile went to college. His progress
was rentarkable; he was et th e h ea d
iweverything ; he graduated with the
Highest honors. 1 saw 111 . 111
final ekhibition when he obtain e d his
ree. I admired . and applauded
more than atuy one else my younger .
brother. In truth as he stood there
with his fragile forte, his pals face, his
eyes beitining with the light orgenin - s;
lie was worthy of all the admiration I
hint to bestow. I have his portrait
now with me. It resemhleS the poet
Shelly more that any face that I have
ever seen.
:\fy brother went home, anti, as I
supposed, studied for his profession. I
corresponded always }girl) my mother.
My brother was alivays irregular in
his Wier-writing. and I never thought
much of not hearing from him. I soon
become troubled, however, at learning
that he was unwell. I , recommended
a rip across the ocean anti a tour
through Europe, and offered to pay his
expenses. After this offer I wafted
anxiously to learn the effect. I did
not hear front home for nearly n month.
I grew very anxious, and thought seri•
cmsly or paying them a visit. Since
my departure, fifteen years before, I
bad never seen home and had only
seen My relatives on their visit to me
in New York.
Otte day, on going to the office,
found a telegraph dispatch. 'The words
of dispatch have,. burned them
selve: intovy memory
"Your brOtlier is dying! • Come
home!"
It was`a stranger's pante. Great
God Imy brother dying. A
.stranger,
too. telegraphing to Met' What meant
'all t h is? Was ..my mother also dy•
ingr
I never closed my eyes for three
days and three nights, nor did I eat a
mouthful until T came in sight of My
native town in Pennsylvania. I wait
ed for twO hours,' trying to overcome
my agitation created by fueling And
want of sleep. Ordinarily,, nothing
ruffled me ; but now was as weak. as
a child. rwalked up the main street.
I came within sight of the old familiar
cottage. The blinds were all down.
(treat Heaven, I was not prepared
tor such a blow. I diesdefl the worst.
The A orst • had come. .A stranger
opened the doorl . —a stranger stared at
me, I recognized touch of the old
furniture with which tiq niotlier would
not part.
''Are thee in 7" I gasved out, not
knowing sh'a't Bald.
>To one rerogniziNl me.• I .1111 i not.
wish to he recognized,. Fearful of
in! , an object of vulgar pity. I lind
terminedoo net ns astratter. So with
nil the Calmness I eaiiht muster I ask.
ed after my mother by 'name. Then
the blow fell.—Tlie woman at the'door
spoke solemnly : ' • "
"She'd dead sir." .
• "Had'nt she a eon?" I asked, with
in frightful. attenipt nt indifrerenee,
"Yes, air, his death broke her down;
she lied next day." •
"Unfortunate people l"
"Al,, yes, sir, There'd . never been a
'death in the village' so tinforttinate.
Especially poor Henry sir, lie was a
great favorite. . .
used. to know a brother of his .in
New York: Does lie know about
' • '
.."Alt, sir, I don't ,know.. It'll be a
sdirtilow for
"[Tow did•it, happen ?"
",Won't YOU walk:in, sir, and .Pll tell
you ?" • g • . .
4No, thank you ; it's, so close; I'm
hot ;:I'll sit here." .
I sank into' a. sent by 'the- cottpje;
The woman told me all. story,
Awls simply. ' • .• •
When came home Nolo col
lege he Was'•the pride and boast.of .the
sought his acquaint
ance, who before had overlooked him,
fttid - ,genitis won the
rtiords and admiration of all. Among
tlic young ladies of .the place there
was one, from Philadelphia who ap
peared to be greatly struck by my
brother. Site belonged to one of the
first families in that city, nod was ex
ceedingly beautiful. Her bettuty, how
ever, was only in appearance. Strange
tb say; with the utmost loveliness of
forM and feature,
hanky -if is--
she ' coin
rirofirc
hardness of nature frighltul to cofilf:"
plate. Slie only sought my • brother
for the suke of-nialting a conquest of
the talented young villager.' As to
love or marriage,
_she woald'have
laughed nt the idea. Her aspirations,
werelarliightr.than that.- By the at
mosLartfulness, and by the exceeding
charm which She was capable of dis
playing, she completely overcame my
brother. With nli the intoxication of
genius be suriernleredjimself to her
power. to love Was to give
mri - dits soul,-his life, his all. It was no
light or transitory knitter. It was the
most serious thing. earth. As to
her, he never doubted jier sincerity.
At last he-awoke from his dream,
and only awakened to die. He spoke
to her once about his feelings. She .
.treated hiin cruelly. When
• sure of,
his afrectiohS''she began to torture him
with jealousy. On his remonstrating,
she turned him away forever with a
withering sneer. ' Ile was stunned at
(ixst but afte'rward , thought it a' mis
take. Ile sought her out again, and
implored her to-tell- him truly. This
time-hercalm-poritempt„_was_namis-_
taktible; be saw her as she was. Had
'lie possessed my strong- •nature he
would have survived the shock. UM
woman does not - live who 'would kill
me by a &appointment. But my
broth6r was.a gentle soul. When •his
heart broke he died: And so he yield
ed.te this blow.
All caMbe told in a few Words. My
mother, horrified., startled, overwhelm
ed by this most unlooked-for calamity,
and-gentle in nature like my brother,
sank like • him under the sudden
stroke.
"And flaw," concluded the woman,
"they both are buried beside her hue-
All the time" she spoke I did not
tiller a word. As idse .eeitsed I rose
slowly,Anurmuredhank,_ you:Laint
staegered away. fostincti rely I wan,
dried to the barring ground, 1 knew
well where they lay. I soon stood he
fore their newly-made graves-two
twin - mounds containing till that I
eared for nn earth—the treasured ob
jects or a lifetlthe's labors—the ones
for whose happiness I had been a slave
And they had come to this!
spent the night „there. I brooded
over plans of vengeance. If they were..
crushed by a blow, I rose nnder mine
and heard their cry for .vengeance
corning even from the tomb. I had the
woman's name.. She had.ufider the on b
ward beauty orher fiendish soul, killed
my mother anti' brother. She Should
stiller! Bitt how ? This . ? was the
meditation of the night. rtook long
strides up and down as I paced beidde
the graves, and before the dawn 1 1111.4 .
lecided. .
"lily scheme was one of grandeur.
You seldom hear of such schemes.
People generally find it difficult to
take revenge 'because they are too anx
ious to • take care of themselves. My
sole desire was for vengeance. For
that desire L was ready to, wierifice
everv-thing.
I : Started for New York immediately,
and arrived there MP soon as possible:
The head of the house was living at
that time up the Munson. Ile left
everything to me. My,measures were
all taken. I wrote to him imforming
him that I woe gluing to Europe to see
about some British fund's' that were
endangered. I drew oil England for
those fundsM the amount of two mil
lion dollars and then left the office.
Thit I did not go 49 England. 1 calm
ly returned to my Own lodgings, where
I wrote some letters. These were
letters of introduction to the chief peo.
ph , in the United States from the
knifing aristocracy of Great Britain.
Willi these I knew I could have the
entree of troy , society. I started' - for
Philadelphia, and put up at the first
hotel in the place. I lavished my
money with a liberal hand, ordering
the servants peremptorily, and acted
like an eccentric nobleman. On th,.
honks of the hotel I wrote the name,
"Henry Lord Arlington,"
On. lily card there was the same
name, and over it a neatly engraved
crest. This nobleman I was personal.
aly acquainted with, He had large
dealings with our house, and nil his
cireionstnness were well known to me.
On the following day I saw the follow.
ins in the principal paper •
"DISTINGUISHED STRANGER.—YOBtOT
dux a distinguished nobleman arrived
at the, hotel. •lle is Henry Lord'
Arlingtou r ruidia Muted to the lending
English nohility„ Ile comes to this
country to Study our institutions and
see the wonders of ?titian! itt which our
land is so OA. Ms father' is the Earl
of,Sunderland, to which . he is heir.
When wilitrite that hie Lordship has
an income of about a million 'dollars a
year, and is a gay yoUng bachelor of
about twenty -llve, we think we have
said 'enough .to turn the heitds of all
the pair g belles itf the city." •
. I was waited on by the chief
people in the city, I bore letters of in.
troduction to them,..and met with an
eager welcome. My stately manners,
niy calainetts and seff•reliance Wolf me
respect.. I was scion shOrtly the lion of
the soon encountered my vie:
flat.
Isabel Nevers,for this MRS her name,
%vas the (laughter of one orihe
Her lather tvne a ntan.ofseJf•im
parlance and absured conceit . . Ile prith ,
ell himself on being the s on of an
American officer, and cultivated his
tatty teelihy, of at rogtmce Rinaidiculous
,extent. [ilk; &fighter was .worthy .61
Lim-hard,. coil and selfish. She was
only attractive in outline and feature.
The feeling,of ambition Mul self import.;
ance over ruled all other. sentiMents..
Lovc.sllo couhi riot fed. Marriage she
looked upon . its speculation. Sttesought
ii lins[nua only for the sake'of wealth
and social influence: Wealth add po
sition Were her gads. • '
saw with exultation hoW readily
lie 101 l into the snare I hail prepared
for her. No sooner had she seen me
ban she exerted all her-nris to Aidr:
And I—never did any lover al:venni:air
eo intoxicilted as I: The reader can
foresee the end. The newsptiliere
tiled (.1 [flounced it.: . _ .
"MARRIAGE IS.
stated that Lord Arlington is about to
lead to the hymeneal altar die dough•
ter 01'0110 of our most distinguished cit.
izens. If this be so, we venture to say
hat,the court of St. JamcS willhaveho
brighter ornament than Miss Needs."
-Ml4kis trabspited in about a fort.
night s The marriage was .settled upon.
I showed old NoverS . ,my brinlmr's
thority to drop. on England for mil r
I.tnade deeds of settlement to
my bride, of estates and lands. I Inv
ished tyv wealth with B. liberal hand.
She herd in'Atruments with signs;
tore to the extt lit of millions,
On the . evening before our marriage
I wrote eff to my old employer, anony
motudv :
"Sit: f—The young man in' whom you
placed confidence is a scoundrel.-- rile
is not, in Europe but in Philadelphia,
with forged letters bearing, the name of
Lord Arlington— Do n'ot despise' this,
lint come yourself to Philadelphia.
Learh all;• and save• yourself from
ruin."
. 'We were married. It was the most
inrigniticent—Tvedding_everknown in
Philadelphia; All the elite of the city
were present. Such ' splendor, such
display, had• never before: beemseen.
Three days passdd. One' morning a
loud and peremptory knock was heard
at'the-door. I had_ beeh living with
my wife at Mr. Never's; in seclusion;
preparatory to taking her ta the aris
tocratic connections of her noble hus
band. The crisis approached: Well,
had-nerve for anything. - The Sere•
ant opened the door loud voices Bond
.ed in the hall.-My- witeeteripedto the
door and hurried back.• She was while:
as a sheet.
tin. ha!' idle exclaimed nervously;
'they want Lord Atlington. They say
he is no imposter.'
'Au iMposter! Well that is good l' I
'I. must see him,' Cried a loud voice.
'Well, it's getting better,' I exclaim
;, and syringing up I went to the
door. • /
I saw my late emOloyer. " He start
ed hack: •
'Well, my good man, can I do any.
thing for you?' My calmness, my
hauteur, my independence was beyond
description.
'Edward', said lie, 'has it come to
this? Coiifess all, and 1. forgive you.'
Had not my heart been beyond . the
reach of pity; his tones would have
melted me. But I calmly gazed at
bhn.
'My dear sir, you are laborini , under
some strange delusion,' 1 said—'Do n
resemble any one Whom you know'?'
'You will not confess then 7' he ex•
claimed, sternly confronting me. 'Then
officer, I leave him to you.
He turned away. I felt myself seized
by officers with it - warrant, and carried
away. My employer was no man to
be trifled with He had proofs against
nic too strong to plight, and he held Me
to tail to such
,vast amounts that I
could' not get bonds. I had to go ta
prison.
On the following day the paptirs
were full of it. To ado fo the 'excites
inent, I wrote a confession, of my miss
deeds, which was circulated every
where. It was a terrific blow to the
Reverses and my wife.
I sent for my employer. I toll him
all. I handed him buck the (trait for
millions. I had only aced it to show.
The money I spent was all my own—
the savings of years. None of it had
gone to wy wife, however. 1 had made
her presents of jeweJs but. they all
turned out to be paste. - ''`‘My employer
forgave me. He had not lost a cent
through me. He shook hands warm:
I v. •
you, my dear boy l' . . he
said, 'your tlesire f'o'r revenge has
misled you. May you be lingiven as I
forgive your
He exerted himself for me, but could
do nothing. My °flows had been too
great. I was sentenced to five years sol
itary imprisonment.
Here I am now,. My wife him never
heen near tne. I hear she and her
father
.went to Californian. If en I
wiali her joy. But it she has married'
hen I get out of prison I'll track
her and make her give up her new,
Husband again.
Odirmons reader,through the hare of
Li, "04;11, a Winn wishes von adietia
A .mANTLF. shelf—adndy'a• shoulders
Pertu •od Spirits,
• About fifteen miles from . ..Leaven-0
worth, nenr;th,e Benham salt works,
stands a 'honee that seems to haVe fat.
len under the displeasure of some spir
it .or Spirits, apparently not or this
world. I.t,is occupied by .11. Mr. Ben
ham, and is •a - new- one. About six
weeke ago commenced these Mysterit.
our doings. Stones weighing from two
to tout pot ills iirebeing constantly
burlAif at flie house, and mysterious
knockings and rappiligs are heard at all
and night. When the
throwing of stones first Commenced,
he oceitpants or the house supposed it
to to be the work of some malicious
person, and accordingly a watch was
set to discover the mischief-maker i but
in vain. Not a stone would'be thrOwn
While' any one was on tile wateh,.
-just us scion n. 4
the
with=
.drawn, then'. the rocks wOulibediit
.mence striking the house. What is
more. mysterious still ,4the rocks are in
visible tintil they sWilte the house,
thiMgh. frequently thrown at
About forty persons determined if
possible, to solve the Mystery.' Ac
cordingly -the ,ehtire party went on
4itaid around the house.. ITOnr" after
hour passed .and not • a stone was
t brown. - Half the•guardi4 • were with-
drawn and placed inside the Ouse;
still nothing unusual occurred. - , Air
the guards' except one was called in.
Every thing :remained' qUiet - noi - a
stone east: The rem a ining guard
was called in. and; scarcery• had the
!door closed behind him,'when whack I
hang! crash I went half a dozen stones
against the house,'" The ifor was
thrown open and all rushed out. Net
a thing was to be seen. The door was'
again closed with all the watchers in..
sideTanittocks - struck - thelioiiselts-be--
fore. Then came n knocking at the
door. It was imin opened,but
nothing.conl.l be seen. Two men stood
holding to the door knob, and, as soon
as the first tap was given, they threw,
the door violeutly open and sprang out, -
but no cause for the knocking could be
discovered. The owner- of the house
has frequently concealed himself tin
der the. porch, and would crawl out
when the - noises commenced, but ju st
as kWh 'as he would get into a position
to see, all noises Would cease.
'rho larger time crowd seeking to . dis
cover the mystery,' the more frequent
"end more violetkare the. dentonstra
lions. For six %seeks has this state of
afikirs existed, and the mystery is no
nearer a solution• than at the begin
ning. The yard around the house is
literally covered with stones thromin
by this invisible hand. The horse is
mvered by dents made by the flying
issile. ,Tlii*WitidoWs have been slat
ted up, it being found imposeble to
keep glass in them. As yet no one has
been : struck by the stones, though dive
hare been some narrow escapes:- Every
inch of grriund withiil 200 yards !of the
houSe, on either side has been careful.
ly searched, and no. hiding place has
been discovered. The family contim
neto reside in the house, and express
their determinatiOn to remain es lqqg
as there is a plunk to protect them
from. the atones. Various theories as
to the cause of these mysterious doings
have been suggested and abandoned
for want of grounds to support them:—
Leave:two:lh (Ind.) Independent.
Old Times
Soma genial . Knight — of Quill
thus writes of "Old Thnes:"
We were happy then, but have just
found it out.
It was a great delight to be permit
fed to go barefoot, and pull up our
tronserloons and wade in the gutters,
just after a rain. .
We have no such bliss now as at
the moment the first :kite we made'
rose gracefully into the upper air; the
first time we ever wore. a coat with' a
tail to it; the - first, titheAve.ever laut
breastpin; the first pair of new kid
gloves, the first cravat, the- first pair
of boots;, the first gold watch, the first
tittle we loved, the first timi we,. walk
ed on the street with' the clad& born
toddling by our bide, holding on to our
lore fingerowith his little, soft, fat,
.warm hand.
When the two, or three, or four, or
half a dozen little ones were 'gathered
about its, with their noised, their mis
chiefs; their teasings, and their innu-
Merable wants, we now feel 'as if they.
were days of Sunshine, to us ; what
would we give to be back there again
Golconda'ainines could not purchase
that pleasure for us now; our sone
have•grown up, have gone out into the'
world, and become business men; cur
daughters are married, and absortied
in their own sunshine; and some, , ; it
May be, rest in the grave, the spark
ling eye, the merry laugh , the singing
voice; the roguish look, t he lovitig trust
ing hearts, all now forever still; silent,
Let'those who Vail enjoy
gladness as it dies, and drink it iu to
the full;
thus Waking up lire's eller
glee and imparting new vigor to the
circulation, making us young at four
score.
--The efficacy of camp-meetings on
the • colored . mind is put beyond
,the
shadow of doubt by the contomtplation
of the results achieved 'in a recent "ex
hort " near . Nashville, A thoughtless
son of Africa delighted the awn com
panion of his joys and sorrows by •.ex
periencing religion" and turning from
the frequent follies of jig Mincing and
other plantation ex trevagances. For e
limo the repentent Christina thithfully
fidh.4etl . to his dutY, end eschewed rigid
ly the vanities or the dance, without • a
lapse of "jigging find Piping," but Ana
lly weak l u men nature tell before the oil
lurementsmf a barbecue, SOntho'B.bup
tizod feet, when the fiddle struck up,
twisted end jerked till they ached with
sinful hankering after ono more .break
down. Finally, when the spirit and
the flesh could no longer stand temple
lion, he fled to the woods l•esond t h e
retell of the mtl4. and "wrestled." OF'
"with.tho,old Adam in . them
legs nbout'n'V • "
Don Platt and the Postmaster.
I had been at Lake George some two
weeks_ without getting tiny mail. :natter,
although I hall sent over nfinost'every
:My. Wearied out at last, . Weni/rhy
self. I found a., little, sandy haired,
heavy Jawed, full stomached man, itieg
.ging away at an old Wet on a cobbler's
bench. I asked this industrious son of
St. Crispin for the Postmaster. •
"I'm •him," responded the shoetrilt
'lfe. • • -
He might be a Ser:l ; or lid I
looked incredulous , ' u on tha fact as
serted or referred to, ot I'OstmasterAllip4
Ho continued to drive in the pegs,whist
ling as shoemakemare wont to whistle,
in it waxy .wsn'a One that when necom•
panied by the proper" words, refers to'
some sort of eccentricity of the Weasel
when popping, whiftever that may be.
frookedi at that vegetable productioni
•.With-obrroty-liair-and-reddish-oheeksras
ha pegged and popped;rind•floiling Lind
ho'intended taking no further .notico of
Me, I mildly' suggested •that if he *ern :
the,Postmaster I would be pleased to got
rev letters and 'popers, .
""Whitt's your name?" ho risked; sus
pending the. whistling popping of the
weasel, but going onwith - his (=sparer
ling work. • • . •
I•respooded by gill:1011e cognomen,
and was told briefly in'words, to wit:
• "Ain't'nothing for yon''and , then he
Volt 'up the exiraordiltiiil'iGniek I• re
monlit rated; andassertedtiikttheremust
be some•mistake. - • •
INti$11;" said- ho-"go look for yourself.
There's tho P's." •
I did 115 dlreetH, nnd found eighteen
latent and nnile of 11601114)cm. • •
'" hat the devil do you mean by say
ing I had no mail V.•
"'ls that vonr name?'
iCertninly it is.'
'Well, I thought it was'Dan'el Prat.'
I was rapidly resolving into an indig,
nation meeting, With ilivercresolittlmry
and a strong tepdcney to punt , some
body's head. -
'You tif6t.ufht that name Daniel
Pratt, did you ? Well, it strikes me
that it would be well far you to learn
reading and writing beforeidaying the
devil in a post office.'
'Well, stranger,' lie responded, stis ,
pending both music and work, WI had
suelilian outlandish name as your'n,
go Wick and ben Vaby, so as to 1.3 christ
ened' over, I would.' •
A South Carolina Election Incident
The Charleston Couri, has this
JudgeCarpentev, 'reform candidate
for Governer, .was alluding to the
heavy incrense of taxes, when Powel
Smythe interrupted him, saying: May
I ask you n question, Judge? •
The Judge—Certainly, if you will
allow me afterward to !tilt you one.
Smythe—lVltat — was the. tax on
slaves in 1866?
'The Judge—Theie no t a slave
in . the United States in 1866.
• Smythe—l mean in 1865?
The Judge—There ‘vare.ttone then.
Smythe-:—Well, I mean in 1564?
The Judge—l 'don't know i ,at the
One I *us not * here4-1, was on the
other Ride, fighting in the Union Army,
And now for My gnestion I Are you
the man who had a wife and six chil
dren in Clarington, and went to Colitm•
bia r ljoined the 'Scott ring, got rich by
bribery, and married another woman
there?
The cro*d—Yes; that's so; he's the
Smythe (she'epishly)•:—l wasn't mar'
- ribTrro the.tirst one. •
Judge - -The children were your
own
Smythe, r -Yes, but she was, not my
wife; I only lived with her. ,
The Judge- 7 You were in the Legis
lature two years. NoW, I'll tell you a
law that you don't seem to knolvrany
thing about. That law makes manur
.andwoman,: who lived together as you.
haVe done in this ease, Man nird wife;
and if you don't mind von will go to
the flenitentiary rts a liigamist instead
of gomg to the • State Senate,
This was .'too mdelk. .The crowd,
.white and black,who knew of Smythe's
villainy, yelled, and the poor (Ida
slunk awnv in the crowd. • .
A Ship Found in a California Desert
•. •
By many ititne been held as a theo
ry that the 'Yuma desert was once an
ocean lied. At intervals pools 01 salt
water have stood for a while in the
midst or the surrounding waste of sand,
disappearing only to rise again in the
same or other localities. A short
time since one of these saline lakes dis
appeared, and a party or Indians re!
forted the discovery or a "6i.!
left by the receeding ,waves. 'A
party
of Americans atotice .proceded to the
spot, and round itultedded in the sands
the wreck of a large: vessel. Nearly
one-third of the rorWard purls of the
ship or bark' is plainly 'visible. The
stump of the lic,wsprit, remains, and
portiods of the timbers 01 teak are pet ,
rect. Th cwreek ii located forty miles
north or San. Hellmann° Mid' Fort.
Yuma road. and thirty miles 'west .01*
Los Palatos. a ‘} elldcuown watethng
place on the desert. The road acrir4s
,the desert has.heen traveled for more
thamone litindred years. The history
of the ill.rtued veAl4- can, of course,
never lie known, bat the discovery oh'
its decaying timbers in the midst of
what has long been a desert will farm
ish'savana with Mod for diseutsion,
and array furnish important aid in the
calculation of scienef.
report that a young man in
Allegheny lost his speech by the ex
plosion ui n'tire-cracker on the Fourth
of July, bothered the doctors Antil
they found out that it was a written
speech that he lost, which was in his
pocket and took lire from the criteker.
They dismissed the subject in dis
gust.
A timq FILANBISCO pet got into Geo.
Frruclo Train's bed-room and triod to
suck George's Vientli, not. knowitiz, , ,,l
course, who In, was. It t,•
remark Ont.t It vet iitino to nil
ly end, Train berries too mutde :vin I
far any lone cut.'
All Sorts of Paragraphs,
PRESSED for timo—Egyptinn inOm.
mid!'" •
Trut only industrious loafers' are the
bakers. • •
v
• lila rq . •tlmo Carolers liko tq piteir it
strong. 0
A CIO•AiiMAD Oros—The locomotion
engineers,.
TIM best k abiominal supporter—A
good dinner. •
MIOUT 80 lives were lost by the
ginla floods..
MEATS arq high, but cows'7ow--«•hd u
they aro hungry:
SOittE quarrels begin and eotno
end with'a stnack. ••.
A spur with a lotiihead is not very
opt to bo livid long.
Ttic man - who .worlcs
olio probnto ridge., • .
• SOMETIIIga thnt you cap 'beat all bel
-low'—a bass drum.
Tun total receipts of tho AllentliWn
fitir wero $5,126,77. • .
Witt) ciesn urn hunted with steamers
unlink() St, Oroig:
Wittott akin of n horsa tido in
rnottntingTho„nutsid9. • • ,
melleiltiblienng of TeIICCSHCf! liiivc
ninnitinted W. H. I.lrllidr. for Gover
,,
nor.
•— ***A — v**43ii , :ii .what P.ll,
while a sealnstress eews what,elle
. Ms' , .
people who lisp belley9 in taniig
Indies? ' No. 'livery inks is n myth to
Thein. '
1/111: Side dint it good ninny people in
Parii would like to take at present—tile
outside,
• MODILSTi - it omsti is Colnr na
her - eneek—deeidedly becoming if nut
- put on.
Timent:id--"7'-11-n-t spells whop?"
Bright selieler—Toes it, I tliouglit•i ott
it spelt that.'
THE mita who tonic tditags as they
cam., emrdoyed a large teain to carry
them home.
RAILWAYS are aristocrats. They
tench every !fifth to know his ownstati.n
and stop there.
Ir turnA ; out that the women who ling
not spoken to ,her husband. for twenty
years is an old maid.
~,,
“Wrt.r. you demonstrath your agility
in a whirl?" is the way they tvk 'cat to
dance in Saratoga, •
.
To keep cool in the country in warm
weather—sign your roof, shingle your
hair and boarltliiiirself.
TnE female school vricher s of c ruiv .
ford county, Indiana, have pledged
themselves not to wear eprsetS. ' .
census takers return-102,0001F the
population 'df St: ' Louis, and the enu
meration is not yet_completed.
I\l • Rvr.n. talk With yonr mouth full.
If you talk with 'a bit in your
you must expect to he a little horse.
A YOUNG man who has just. retorted
from one saytt a bridal trip is Ilbs ii
voyage beeankelt is a merry-time mem-.
Mon.
TN opting oysters always pons th
shell's off before swallowing. Tiw shells
pro inilie,estiblo and aro apt to lie on the
Jr may not
.he 'amisg to state that
three hundred and fifty-seven years froin
Sunday last, the Pacific Ocean was dis-
COPl•refl.
'Snt: isn't gill that fancy painted her,'
bitterly exclainied a rejected , and
w•nrse than that, she isn't all she paints
herself.' .
A . r..trut; girl seeing. IL litter of kit.
tens for the first time, expressed her opin.
ion that somebody had shaken pussy all
to pieces.
A KENTUCKIAN wants SlO,OOO dam.
awns from a newspaper which published
a first rate obituary notice of him before
be was dead.
' A LADY in Oshkosh, "Wis., amused
herself in church on Sunday by eouluieg
the different styles of doing up the hair,
and found 51.
IN Benton County, lowa. the ether
day, a• man named JoSeph ,Rodman get
into n rage, began to swear violently,
and suddenly fell dead.
AT- Wamego, a place in the extreme:
West, is a shanty. which hears this sigit :
'Here's where you get a meal like y'ttr
mother used to give you.' •
LADIES are, discovering that one of
the effects of the European war is as in
crease in price of imported goods,
Ocularly gloves and ribbons.
11 tas Lydia Armstrong, of Grant
county, liilftlithi, - "advertises fora
band. 'Money,' she says, no object,
but he must be healthy and willing to
work.' .
NOM:E.—To any one who elm say—
" Shoes and s.lelts shock Susan," with
rapidity, and faultless pronunektion,
Cour times running, a largo reward will
be paid,
TILE only buiy peoplo are, inillinors
;Ind lawyer: ; the one, in rnukinv up full
styles for lvntnen, lnul OW ether
lug up the falsity of ill usuliltind tu
minis his btuthor 11111,11.
Ntsw Yor wlw fell in Wye Vitt,
a boaqtil'al girl last 11 . 114
hy N'iSitilltr her lately, ikiai• h"
Ince ruvrrod With freckles as hsi.; ch..
enlute drops. Such lovu in only -lila
deep.
THE new haminor in thn I.3e“n;l l ,'l'
Works ut Ilorrishurtr
1 000 inotwls, tests $02,000, and is tko
largest. in the United States. Thu (-mi
n:illy expect to nude! 05,000 tons of steel
roils per month. •
t'ol.l.tttn, the Radical 'entididate rer
Governor, or 3lissonri, will h . .: holly
bentott ht. Brown, t he Conservative :ie.:l
inen. g.thblin:r of goes:. sore , '
Itotrio, but tho n 1):111:e eon•
.
not stay': McClurg% ' • ,
Lurrf..r: r..iir-year-old boy s :nit :Ilene
on thn pinzzo. whon It new pity.:eim:
aunt to mot his sh.lt inother. Tho
rillturnilY wished to tilske
awl said : "ll.iw 0141 :::•,.
son ?" kl'm not 4 , 1:1,1!:::
Low.
' AtlSti /•17:6. till! e1..,1' , . ; • , 11
1 . +1•1..1' Sill HI,
oCR" ~!I