The Democritic Watchmah.
BELLsEN'ONTE, PA
ON THE STREAM
• UT THOMAS DUNN EBifiLlBll
Night, bane cloud on the slcy; '
And, yonder, the lights of ibelstreet &am and
quiver
In aflame-spotted pyramid up from the Isar
AS I float In my Moat tk , deSpalli ugly by
• On the stream
Quiet the ships at the piers ;
Lrke a forest In winter, their masts and their
spars,
Stand In relief Tans the sky and the stars.
I can see them in spite of my fist falling
, tears.
Iln the ntromn
Preeptug from wooden-wallea liptt
I watch the filleit ferry-honts ply to nod fro,
littpattently pool mg the wove on they go,
l'ltrentitng their uny through dm Innt-nn
chorea ',hip.
on the stream
In the ler ilishinee, I MI,
The light (urn lamp (ruin n w inane (IN Oinre.
That war her eignal last rliminer—no 11111r0
Win anti hoop through the pane emit n
glimmer for mo
On the stream
Though Rh my life .he N 1 R. 410111,
1 001114 have home it to think of her dead
ltdi deeper thnti Unit aro the pang WllOll •ho
fled
%way tyltii another—fled. lent tnk.: inr , here
On Or
4aitietitties they tell me I m crazed,
itill I,llt I thIIIL 11. d niliifingh
lead ma , . but 4tatiat•ti u [tit+ craiqi
hll4 MOW
1 .111 keep lay .tetime, Illation floating
amazed,
Ohl t h e •invmi
Fh.ating half nay (ruin the
xlmtr—
."hn. 1%,11. nil out .11hr ',gill,
10141 tirin a Ilk ifs 311.1 the night
I IlLahe annlll4•o,ll,•—and then they adl
. .
M=
1111:=E1
SECRETARY STANTON'S POLITI
CAL POSITION tN 1860.-REMINI
SUNCES OF THE CLOSE OF
BUCHANAN'S ADMINISTRATION.
-THE HON. JERE. BLACK'S CARD
TO THE PUBLIC.
Editirol'llie Herald
since the death of Mr. Stanton, somc .
newspaper writers have revived tee
scandalous accounts which began to
be propagated, I think, in 1;452, eon
ce,rning his conduct. while a member
Of Mr. Iluchanan's Cabinet. It iv fii.
Aerted that he came into that adminis
tration with views entirely oppo.ed to
those of the Preeide.it and' the men
who were to be his colleagues, all of
whom, except Messrs. Holt and Dix,
were in favor of the Southern Confed
eracy, and ready to sacrifice the Union ;
that supported by these two he bullied
the rest ; that lie terrfied the President
by threats 01' resignation into measures
which otherwise would not have been
thought of; that he urged immediate
war upon the seceding Staten to crush
out the rebellion ; that though defeat
ed in this by the treason of his associ
ales, he carried with a high hand
other points of sound policy; that by
these hardy displays of hostility to the
administration which trusted him, he
Promoted the interests and won the
gratitude of its enemies.
This is the substance expressed in
my own Fololtin English of many state
menu; coming from various sources ex
tensively circulated and so generally be
lieved that if •not soon contradicted
they are likely to be received as au
thentic history. They are not only
false, but they must be injurious to Mr.
Stanton's reputation; and they are
,grossly unjust to others, dehd as well
as living.
I am not the special defender of Mr.
Stanton, and I certainly would not as
sail him, Before he fell away from
the Democratic faith our friendship
was intimate and close. There was no
seFaration afterwards except the separ
ation which is inevitable between two
peraons who differ widely on public
subjects believed by both to be vitally
important.. Our correspondence of last
summer and autumn (began by him
self) shows that I was able to forgive
him my Farticular share of the injury
he had done to the liberties of the coun
try, and hA had..my sincere good wishes
for his future health and welfare. Ilse
political attitude towards the Bucha
nan administration previous to his ap
pointment as Attorney General is whol
ly misunderstood or else wilfully mis
represented. Ile was fully with us at
every stage of the Kansas 'petition,
and niti man felt a mote loathing con
tempt than he did for the knavery of
the ittiolitionitus in refusing to vote up.
on the Lecompton constitution, when
nothing but a vote was needed to ex
pel slavery from the new State, and
thus terminate the dispute by deciding
it in the way which they themselves
pretended to wish. lie wholly denied
Mr. Douglas's notions, and blamed
him severely for , unreasonable and
mischievous schism which lie•had cre
ated in the party. The Know- Dloth
ingism of Bell and Everett found no
favor in his eyes. In the canvass of
1859 be regarded the salvation of the
country as hanging upon the forlorn
hope of Breekinridge'e election. We
knew the abolitionists to be the avow•
ed enemies of the Constitution and the
Union, and we thought the Republi
cans would necessarily be corrupted by
their alliance with them. As we saw
the march of these combined forces up
on the capital we felt that the consti
tutional liberties of the country were
in as much peril as Rome was when
the Gauls were pouring over the bro
ken defences of the city. Whether we
were right or wrong is not the question
now. It is enough to say that Mr.«
Stanton shared these apprehension.
fully. lie more than shared them •he
inspired Thein;lr Lin-'
coin personally, ' , and the account he
gave °Chinon's. anything bat favors.
bk.
The 6th of,Ziovembeir came, and Mr.
Lincoln was-legally chssen President,
by the electoral machinery Of the Con
stitution, though the majority Of the
popular vatrwita iietthisMiti by more
than a million. The question was now
to be tested by actual experiment
whether a party whiMi existed only in
one section, and which was organizer
on the sole principle of hostility to the
rightS,interests and feelings of the
other, could or would administer the
federal government in a righteous spit ,
it,oljustice, or whether the predictionti
of all our great statesmen for thirty
years must be ver;fied OW the aboli•
tionists when they got into power
would disregard their sworn duty to
the constitution, break down the jinn
pial authorities and claim obedience to
'threw own mere will as a "higher law"
than the law of the land. The danger
was greatly aggravated by the crinti
nal misconduct of large bodies in the
South, and particularly in South Car•
rdina, where preparations were o; enly
made for resistance. What was the
I Federal Executive to do 'miler these
circumstances? Make war? Ile had
neither authority nor means to do that,
and Congress would not give him the
one or the-other, Should he e 01» pro
mise the dispute? Ile could offer no
ts and make no pledges a hich
Wahl not he repudiated by .the new
administration. Could he thediate be
tiveen the parties? Both would refuse
his ninpirage, for both were as hostile
ti Min as they 'rert , to one another.
Nevertheless, he was hound to do them
the best service be could. in spite of
their teeth ; and that, service consisted
in preserving the peace or the nation.
It was his special and most imperit
not io embroil the incoming
administration by n civil war winch
I bis successor might by limo Ming twap•
pro% eor (I) pr .acute It as uniloulq
'
ell right to Date the President elect
a n d his Mil i-ry, in n /41111116 M a here
they could take their choice between
and tiglitinz. In 1 . 8(1 4 _
t Mr. Lincoln wits lh fit or of the Hirai
er, it his inaugural be any sign of
sentiments.
The mind of no titan n as wore deep
Iv imbued with these opinions than
Sir. Stanton's. The idea never enter
ed hie mi nd—certainly never
Lis lips—that the President ought to
make wok upon States or pat the
n hole people out of the protection of
the lams, and expose them all to ni•
discriminate slaughter as public ene
iiiies, because some individuals among
them had done or threatened to do
what was inconsistent with their obli
gations to the United States. Ile knew
ery well that no such thing was
either legally or physically possible.
General Scott had reported officially
that five companies constituted the
n hole available force which could be
Befit to the South for any purpose, of
lensive or defensive. Is it possible
that Mr. Stanton could have under
taken to conquer the South with halt
a regiment ? lle was thoroughly con
vinced that a war at that time, of that
kimr and under those circumstances,
would not only "fire the Southern
heart," but give to the' secessionists
the sympathy of all the world, and ul
timately insure their success, while it
- could not help but cripple, disgrace
and ruin the cause of the Union. Nor
did he feel pleasure in the anticipa•
tion of any civil war between the two
sections of bis country. 'From the stand
point which he then occupied he said
that war was disunion l it was blood,
conflagration, terror and tears, public
debt and general corruption of morals,
all ending at best not in the union of
the States, but in the subjugation ,of
some to the despotic will of the others.
lie was apt to take a sombre view of
things, and he looked at the 'dark side
of this subject. The glory, profit and
plunder, the political distinction and
pride of power which brighten it now,
were not included in his prospective
survey.
On the 38th of November, I answer
ed the Prtbeident's questions concern•
ing his legal powers and duuee, hold
ing that the ordinances of secession
were niece nullities; that the seceding
.States were and would be as much in
the Union as ever; that the Federal
Executive was bound there as well ire
elsewhere to execute the laws, to bold
the public property arid to collect the
revenue: that if the means and ma
chinery furnished by law for these pur
poses were inadequate, he could not
adopt others and usurp powers which
bad not been delegated; that neither
the executive nor legislative depart
merits had authority under the Consti
tution to make war upon a State; that
the military power may be used, if ne
cessary, in aiding tine judicial authori
ties to execute the laws, in collecting
the revenues, in defending or retaking
the public property,but not in acts of
indiscriminate hostility, against all the
people of a State. This iti aid "opin
ion" which has since been so often, so
Much and so well abused, denounced
and villified. Mr. Stanton did riot stul
tify himself by denying the plain, ob
vious and simple truths which it ex
pressed. Theipaper was shown hits
before went to the President, and al:
ter a Might alteration suggested by'
himself, to not only approved but ap
plauded it enthusiastically.
It'dimappointed the President' Ile
had hastily taken it for granted that
Congress might make secession a cause
for war ; arid in the draft of his mes
sage already prepared he had.. submit
ted the question of war or peace to their
decision. But the advice of the Law
Department, supported by a powerful
argument from General Cass, convinc
ed him of his error, and that part of
the moulage was rewritten. The sub
stance of the message so modified re
ceived Mr. Stanton's hearty endorse
ment in everything that regarded se
cession and the treatment it ought to
receive,
Soon after this General Case retired.
I was requested to take the State De
partment and Mr. Stanton was ap
pointed Attorney Ganerar upon my
declaring that I was unwilling to leave
the care of certain causes pending in
the Supreme Court to any hands but
his. This appointment alone, without
any other proof; ought to satisfy any
reasoning mind that all I have said of
Mr. Stanton'e sentiments must. be true.
No man in his sober senses can believe
that I would base urged, or that Mr.
Buchanan would have made the ap•
',ointment if we had not both known
with perfect certainty that he. agreed
with us entirely on those fundamen
tal doctrines of ponetitutional law to
which We were committed. The faint
est suspicion of the contrary would
have put the Attorney General's office
asliur beyond his reach as the throne
of Fritnce. We took hint for what he
professed to be—a true friend of the
Union ; a devout believer in'the Con
stitution ; n thithful man, who would
trot violate his oath of offiar' by ttill
fal disobedience to the law. I ant r ill
c6-nviTivel that he did not deceive us.-
If he abandoned those principles in
1862, the change, however-sodden and
unaccountable, is not satisfactory evi
dence that he vine an impostor and it
hypocrite in 1860.
Ile dal not tied Mr. Molt and lien
oral Dix contending alone (or contend
tug at «'l) against the President and
the rest of the administration Mr
Molt on the 3d of March, 1861, ap
pended to his letter of resignation a
strong expression of his glatitude for
the "firm and generous support" which
Nor. linclotnan had constantly extend
ell to him, and pays a warm tribute to
-the "enlightened statesmanship and
unsullied patriotisin" of the outgoing
President. Geoeral Firx Was not there
at all when Mr, Stanton came tit. lle
was appointed a. month afterwards,
triter' there was no diengreertivia in
the Cabinet. rile took up his rtsidence
at the Pronlehes hun , e as a member
of his family, and remained there dur
lag the w hole time of IoS servicir
'head of the Treromry Piepartmen,t. Ile
performed his duties laithlulle, firmly,
and N%ll} Mild) 1110 11- .11-111VVI"
sal a Ilproilltiloll. I do not.. recollet
that he had one nerd of t+PHION COll
trot uflier hill, rhe - lrkrerrhletrr
n all any body else. If, therefore, Mr.
Stanton was at any tone engaged in
dragooning the President awl hector
lug los colleagues, he could not Jotve
hall Mr. Holt and (teneral lii for his
hitchers.
There were (filmic , and setnoll Ii tier
(MCC. , (110/11:110,1 111 the l'ahnet dur ing
the period of Mr. Stanton's service , but
his-share in them has not truly been
stated. lam not writing the history
of those tones, mid therefore isay Huth.
mg of what others did or forbore to do.
except so far as may be necessary to
show Mr. Stanton's lets and omissions
in their true light.
Before the election it was determined
that the forts in Charleston harbor
should be strengthened so as to make
them impregnable. The order -was
given, but the execution of it was un
accountably put. off. When General
Cass ascertained that the delay was ac
quiesced in by the Presidept, he resign
ed. Two weeks afterwards Major An
derwon, commanding Fort Moultrie,
and apprehending an attack, threw his
garrison into Fort Sumter. Simulta
neously came certain commissioners
from South Carolina demanding the
surrender ( of the latter fort to the State.
The character of the answer that should
be given to the commissioners and the
question whether - Port Sumter should
be furnished with men and provisions
were discussed for three days, each day
running far into the night.
On one aide it was insisted that the
surrender of the fortress was so utterly
incompatible with our plainest duty,
that the demand itself was a gross in
suit. To leave it in a condition which
would enable rebellious citizens to take
it if they pleased easi still worse, for that
would be merely another mode of mak
ing the surrender, and a worse one, be
cause it would be fraudulent and decep.
tire. Major Anderson should, there
fore, be immediately reinforced that
"his castle's strength would laugh a
siege to scorn," and then no attack
*Mild be made. This last, instead of
being dangerous, was the only measure
that gave us a, chanoe of safety ; it
would not bring hostilities, but avert
them, and, if war must come at all
events, the, pdsseasion of Fort Sumter,
which commanded the other forte, the
harbor and the city, 'would be of in
calcalable value to the government of
the Union.
To this there Wall absolutely no an•
ewer, except what consisted in saying
that the fort conld not be relieved with
out difficulty and danger of eucceeeful
opposition ; that South Carolina would
take it as an affront, and .that it was
tantamount to a threat of coercion. The
replication wan easily made ; There
was no danger of even an attempt at
resistance to a ship-of war, and state
ments made of the hostile power were
mere brag; if South Carolina took of
ferce at our preparation for the safety
of our own men and our own property,
she must already be in a temper to
make reconciliation iMpossible ; and,
as to coercion, let her take care riot to
coerce us, and she will be safe enough.
At length the President pronounced
the decision in the form of an answer
to the commisaionera. • While it was
far from satisfactory to the Southern
members, it filled us with consternation
and grief.
Then came the desperate struggle of
one alone to do what all had failed to
effect. It was painful to the &Irene,
but nnexpectedly short and decisiife.
The President gave up his first ground,
yielded the points on which he had
seemed most tenacious; the answer to
South Carolina was essentially changed,
and it was agreed that Fort Sumter
Should have men and provisions.
During these discussions Mr. Stanton
was always true, but the part ho took
was by no means a leading one. Ile
said many times that he was thereon!) ,
that I rnighthave two votes instead of
one. Ott no oecasion was there the
slightest conflict between him and me.
He exhibited none of the coarseness
which some of his later friends have at.
tributed to him. He never spoke with..
out the greatest roe pect for his colleagues
and the profoundest' deference to the
President about resigning. Ile told me
lie would resign if I did) but when cer
tain conceptions were made to' my
wishes he expressed himself perfectly
satisfied. „Ile did not ihrnish one atom
of tbe influence which brought the Pres
ident round' on the answer to South
Carolina. Nor did he ever propose or
curry any measure of his own, directly
or indirectly, relating to the secession
troubles. Ile uniformly professed to be
as anxious for the preservation of the
public peace as any Mall there.
It would he a wrong to the memory
of Mr. Stanton not to add that, so tar
as I know, he never gavne countenance
or encourage neat to those fabulous stoi
ries of hia behavior.
JEIIENIMI S. ilf,A(
—A loweeich pair oho had only a dollar
To pay In Ow pr1 , ..1, for the eon legal I,llnr,
It eie told 1,3 the wagon lds ,cgithar fee
l'or marrying people was only a V.
theo,” goon, the 01 . 11A11, " good parson.
•
HOW COMP
A dollar I'M nuns, ought to marry Is Monte,
"fl, all 171 hays got; pat ran take It, you
k,
And marry WI as far as tho . monay is ill go?"
V ruiner him been well oletlned
tn cinhlem of it thong'itful mind
.Jro look npun It when you will,
Nell 1111 d It in reflecting xlli .
The Diplomatic Corps at Washington
'The Cincinnati Commercial ham the
billowing from . Washington : The
highest order, socially, is the Foreign
Diplomatic Corps. This is git en, or
arrogates to itself, the first position.
Then we have the Senators, and Vu
prone Court, and members ol the Cabi
net, nearl) oh a level—or 140 near that
it is doubtful. or...rather in dispute, as
10 which has the'preference. 'I hen we
lia‘e members of the House, and the
multitude 01 Minor officials. lhteiias
to bt• amused
. ‘OIN( looking at the little
diplomatic corps that takes upon itself
such an air olexchmiveness, and is look
ed up to with such awe and' reepect
Washington using regarded in Euro
peso courts as a place for honorable
huni. , ,litueut,„it being popially_midt:sirm
Ide and possessed of no field ffir a dis
play of diplomatic ability, the more in
fliiential and able men 01 the profession
shrink in dismay trom a residence in
our beloved capital. The consequence
is that Ave get only the lesser lights.
Tliey are rather nice ijort of men, but
not the sort to worship socially, or in
any other 'a ay. To see the corps in its
lull glory, one must attend on opera
night at the Notional Theatre. lle
will find the diplomats out in full force,
and all clustered together in the front
chairs of the orchestra, with a few,
perhaps, perched like crows in one of
the stage boxe. Between the arts the
corps rise up and face the audierme.
And then they appear in all theirawlul
glory. Taken Separately, one would
not be seriously oppressed, but to be
attacked in diplomatic platoon is over
powering. - If one draws near, he hears
a chatteri4 in French, like unto so
many dawn in mass meeting. The gods
of the galleries have lately taken to
resenting this facing about of the little
corps, and wifen this diplomatic and
dramatic move occurs,a general shout
of derision goes up, and cries of "Down
in front," "Ain't we handsomer and
imitations of the croaking of crows are
heard ; for, owing to their somber dress,
these subtile representatives of effete
despotisms are called crows by the gods
of the gallery. The corps took this
assault calmly and with superior ...Air
ference, until a few decayed oranges and
apples came, with indications of eggs
in reserve, when the corps graceflally
subsided.
Frying Meats, Vegetables and Mashes.
Frying is an expeditious and conve•
nient mode of preparing food, but is
not as healthful as broiling or baking.
Much of this difficulty might be reme
died, if more care was used as to the
manner. Food that is to be fried in
butter or fat, should Dever be placed
'on the spider, skillet or griddle, until
the fat is scalding hot. By this means
th'e food is served over at once, and the
minute pores closed to the fat so that
it cannot soak and penetrate?as when
put in cold. A hash made of bits of
mixed meats and potatoes, with a few
fine bread crumbe all finely mixed, is
moat delicious for breakfast, or tea
even, when gintlemen are present, if
well seasoned and put into gravy or
tat thoroughly heated. It should cook
slowly a long time, anitshould be kept
moist with gravy or hol, miter, at the
same time allowing it 1.4 brown a nice
crust on the bottom. Potatoes, par
snips and apples are very nice fried,
but should by no means be put in cold
fat. Apples cut a quarter of an inch
thick, placed on a griddle to fry brown
slowly on each side, and finished at
last, with a tit bit of sugar on the top,
which will melt while the other side is
frying, is indeed a tempting side dish.
Slices of bread, dipped hastily in milk,
and then in a salted batter of eggs and I
flour. and fried, is another addition to
the breakfast table, and a good way to
use stale bread.
'Steak may he made nearly as good
as broiled, by placing it in a v4ty hot
spider, without grease, and allowing
each side about half a minute to cook.
Use no water, nudge:aeon upon the plat
ter.
THE UNCONSTITUTIONALITY yOF Tfli
FIFTEENTH AIIaNDMENT.—A n Enquirer'
sap that the Fifteenth Amendment
can n‘ver be legally a part of the Con-
Rtitution, for the following reasons:
1. It is a surrender of a fundamen
tal reserved right of the States, and
that can not be accomplished without
the unanimous consent of all the States.
To no three-fourths of the Legislatures
wire delegated the power to change the
Constitution in this regard.
2. The Legislatures of all the Smith
ern States which have adopted . it have
done so under duress—of force and
compulsion—which vitiates all con
tracts, and which thit.Fedenth.Goeeriv•
ment had no tight to employ. ,
3. The Amendiuent was not submit
ted to the President• of the United
States for his approval, which course
is required by the Constitution.
4. If the Southern States were not
I*-the Union at the time of the tuloy*
tion of the Amendment, they had no
right to ratify, and without them the
necessary constitutional three fourths
hate not been obtained*
A Physioian on Dancing
That., beautiful , gricelu accomplish
ment of dancing, so perverted by late
hours and the indecency of fashionable
attire, has en_traged manveteneible peo
ple, and led Them to detnive the young
ones of the most simple mid healthful
enjoyments, because it has been abus
ed. ' For myself, I can testify not only
to its healthful, but recuperative pow
er, The fifteenth year of my age found
me enjoying this life-cheering exercise.
It should be one of the earliest amuse
meats of children, and care should be
taken by parents that it is understood
as an amusement. Whi;a" am on this
topic 1 will mention a calm ilia occur—
red in my practice. A thoughtful moth
Cr who had lost three children, brought,
to me her only remaining child, a
daughter. Iler temperament !lemma
billious—the nervous anirfully pre
dominant—with great irritability ofthe
system, peevish, passionate, dyspeptic,
sleepless, exacting, -arbitrary and lin•
coin tort able ; the pooxicbild looked sad,
old, morbid and miserable. She had,
been to school, because her parents
.thought it nn amusement for her to lie
with other children. After critically
\ainining her plisiognoniy, I said to
her mother, "What rsrheternperanrent
of , your husband ?" "Mc same as inv
own,' she replied. "Then the child is
doubly stamped. Very vigorous meas
ures must be ° tased it you expect to re
,-tore her to health- Divorce her im
mediately from anything mental, so
far tic memoriziog is concerned; send
her to (lancing school, that she may
cotnittne stern c wail order nod mein
dy, !Li] thus some of her rough edges
may be rounded. The mes
opened with wonder and deligqit, utter.
ratite,' with "Daneingsehool ?I'll, how
1'3'71 r 'itir
strong and leads to wiekedness."
What a ohlemnia for a !
what n dihMinia for a child "Ind volt
ever intend your daughter to play the
pninA, guitar, or other musical metro
mentsr I+l6ll. yes,' was the
answer, 'Why,- I continued, "why
how such p..rtiality to the upper ex
tremities. 'rhe hands are rendered
happy as a medium of melody ; the
feet are rendered eimally happy in the
same way.
A nieeafternoon school revived the
little girl who grew in health and liar
molly every month as followed the
hygienic rules perseribed for her.
Dancing is a beautiful, graceful recrea
tion, and is not responsible for the
abuse luxury has thrown around it.
The vulgarism and excitements of the
ball room have no wore - to do with the
Simple enjoyment of the dance than the
rich wine and sumptuous banquets of
the gourmand, in whom they induce
diSease, have to do with the temperate
repasts that satisfy-the natural wants
of the boily,--Dr. IL K Hunt.
Tux Voice or CONSCIINCE.-11Rve
you ever heard of the greauclock of 14t.
Pull's in London? At midday, in the
roar of businese, when carriages, and
cartsomil wagons, and omnibuses, go
rolling through the streets, how many
never hear the great clock strike un.
less they live very near it. But when
the work of the day is over, and the
roar of businese has passed away—
when men are gone to sleep, and si•
knee reigns in London—then at twelve,
at one, at two, at three, at four, the
sound of that clock may be heard for
miles around. Twelve I one! two!
three I lour I HOW that clock is heard
by many a sleepless man I
That clock is just like the conscience
01 the impenitent man. While he has
health and strength, and goes on in the
whirl of business, he will not hear his
conscience. He drowns and silences
its voice by plunging into the world.
He will not allow the inner man to
speak to him.
But the day will come when con•
science will be beard, whether he likes
it or not. The day will come when its
voice will sound in his ears, and pierce
him like a sword. The time will come
when we must retire from the world,
and lie down on the sick•bed, and look
death in the face. And then the clock
of conscience, that solemn clock, will
sound in his heart, and, if he has not
repented, will bring wretchedness and
misery to his soul. Oh, no, write it
down in the tablets of your heart—
without repentance, no peace. "There
is no peace, with my God, to the wick
ed."
Reader, lia 4 va you repented ? If not,
will you repeat to day ? "To day, if
ye will hear Ilia voice, harutri hot
your howls!"
atell3TY.—What a blessing to
tradesmen is a liberal customer! A
farmer went into a store in Boston, the
other day, and told the keeper that a
neighbor of his entrusted him with
some money to expend to the best ad•
vantage, and he meant to do it where
he was beet treated. He had been
used very ill by the traders in Boston,
and he would not part with his neigh•
bor's money until he found a man who
would trent him about right. With
the utmost suavqy, the trader says:
"I think I can treat to your liking;
how do you like to be treated t"
"Well," said the fanner, with a leer
n hie "iu the &at. place, I want
&weir toddy,' which was forthcom
pg.
."*Now, I will have a nice cigar,"
Hayti the farmer.
It was promptly handed him, leisure
ly lighted, and then throwing hiniself
back in a chair, with - his feet as high
as his head, he commenoed puffing
away like a Spaniard.
"Now, what do you want to pur
chase?" says the shopkeeper.
"My neighbor. banded me two cents
when I,leii home, to buy him• a plug
of tobacco -hareyou got the article?"
A MAN advertised for a wile, and re
quested inch candidate to enclose her
car•le de visite. .A spirited young lady
wrote to the advertiser in the following
terms : "Bir, Ido not enclose my carte,
for though there is some authority for
putting a cart Wore a horse, I know
of woe for puffing one 'before an ass."
All Sorts of Paragraphs
—Bilgham Young's wife has n cold
Sho sneezes by platoons.
—Minnesota is experienc i n g religion
It finds it an entire), new sensation.
is observed that those who Are
severly opposed to smoking do not not
object to stove-pipe hats.
—The right principle is to get and t o
give; but. many people have a faculty of
leaving of the I,4ter.
—The blacks sic making ti general ex
odus into the (lull States, but without
Moses.
—The chap whp fell beck on his 01V4
resources su s tained injuries Which his
physician thinks may lead to 4 T i m ,
difficulty.
—When n man uses a cane he confes
ses that it necessary to %aye three Ir g ,,
instead of the conventional number of
t
Tim law of gravitation rulos. Even
new.vnpors bnve been knowb to be run
into dm ground,
orment r iif humility IQ -a very
good One, but us it has nut been fashion.
able its use has hitherto been confined to
thr select few
—Tha editor of a Radical paper prune.
hieg to do hiikdoly fenrleasy. Then let
Ism hung himself.
--It isn't the size but the giutlity of „
thing that tells, There is sometime,
more in one dwarf than in a half-doze n
giants
—ln Spain, it wonviii at 20 is callvd
an "old gal Thn explanatutn
Spain at an early period .1'
itq eki,tence
—Memory Is not always so Ini(1 its II
sreint , . People can genernlly remembec
what lle•y vitro to I f uhiivfuu, On riiv
int; delit,, they lire keen On what is dw•
thole _ . _
—Nothing H more tpaefial t h an the
'• yea-foci larirk "--but it as in an arch
itectural aliect dint wo iety dna insti
tution Thin-e corned ita the hat are
fla weans conamendable
—Any ono possessed of it whole coat
anal at clean shaft, if ho is n anoniber ul
Congress, caw go in \Yxshtngt nt pooltt.
ikt once.
—A repast of asses' flesh was luteli
served up in a hotel in Lombardy Tht,
is all wrong:. Brother should not war
with brother.
--The farmi‘rs of Santa Rose round
Culifornia, aro tu , tenished at a i;t
weighinc thirty-four pounds Thus
beet beats all beets.
—=The reason why Ben. Butler is wo
ft candidate for tho Spanish throne,
said to ho because the crown jewels art ,
already stolen
—Josh Billings says the pew-renting
system was nevqr beard'of in Africa
The' "Fifteenth Amendments" there
must study up •
- A certain Miss Irene Frttout is hv •
Wring on Womans' Rights in Indians
Her friends`should take that Fat out of
the fire.
—California pays her State Legisla
ture ten 'dollars par day i Rhoda Island
ono dollar per day. These figures. do
not include " pickings."
—Which is the lower House of Con
gress ? Both are low enough In all con
science but we suppose there must b'
somewhere a lowest deep.
—The girls of Troy, Now York, sleep
with revolvers under their pillows It
is not safe to undertake to burgle any
where in that vicinity.
—A party of the Independent Order
of Itolicking Rame, in London, latel2,
bagged two hundred door knockers in a
single night.
—The colored MOM ben of the Oeor
gia Legislature are parting their hair in
the middle—au indication of their rapid
advancement toward civilization.
—A Sunday school library
recently stolen In Florida. Such theft'
ma, be pn&ctive of good by spreading
religious trWls where they are most
needed.
—The children of Rochefort have no
names. They aro designated simply a-
No. 1, No, 2 and FO on indefinitely
This Is both systematic and convenient
—The rascal in New York, who ad
vertised " small sewing machine , '" for
sale at one dollar each,sent to applicant.
shoemaker's awl, worth shout fifteen
cents.
—ln Delaware county ovary man can
sit under - his own peed. tree, or If h.•
don't lite one peach tree he can go to
another, u there are fourtren to every
voter in the State.'
—A man in Kansas City lost an e3e
lately in a lively discussion concerning
the 'age of a goose. Therp, were two.
geese in the neighborhood Just about
that time.
B. W. 'tonna, who has been
nominated Attorney General by the
Democrati of InntaZo, Is ono of th.•
ablest men in the State, and ono of the
the truest Democrats in the United
States.
—lt is sold that live thousand con •
sumptive patients resort to Minnesota
every year. Yes, to die, either there or
on tbo way home again.
—An exchange says : " The N. Yorl.
World is trying bard to become all
things to all men." That le, we sup
pose, it wants to be '' the world, the
flesh and the devil."—Day Rook.
—Kilpatrick, Grant's minister t..
Chili, it is said, is doing a hbrse•jocke',
business. He was largely in that busi
ness during the war--stading govern-
Mont mules and robbing ladies' ward
robes.
--Editorial courtesy must be don
below per in the Weist." One pare,
speaks of a colleague u a the reeegade
squirt who edits the squib at the other
end of the block.
—The concrete pecverueei put down
in some of our streets his been eh ris•
toned the poultice pivement,..by some
one who has not the fear of the paten •
tees before his eyes.—
—ThelVelsb !unman impudent saying
that it a ;adman was as guide' with her
Met as she is with her tongue, she mild
catch lightning eaough to kindle the
firelp thevforning.
-=-The'buban Jutita are at flats if.
with each other. It would be better it
they would use their weapdbi' against
the . eommou enemy the Spaalish inva
ders of the Gans' of the Antilles.
, • •