IMIE=3
The Democratic Watchman.
BEL‘LEFONTE, PA
ACROSS THE RIVER.
When for me the silent oar,
Parts the silent Itleer,
And I stand upon the shore
Of the arrange Forever
Shall I miss the loved nod known
Shall I valbly seek mine own?
rifiti the crowd that comes to meet
tiptrtta elin•forgtven , —
Liatening to their echoing feet
Demi the aireeta of heaven—
Shall I know a thotateo near,
That I listen—wait for, here
Then will one approach the brink
With a hand eittended,
One whose thoughts I loved to think
Ere the veil, was tended,
Saying '`Welcome I we have died,
And again are side by side."
Saying, .1 will go with thee,
That thou be not lonely,
To you hills of Mystery;
thavn welted obly
timid now, to climb with thee
Yonder hill of mystery, •
Mn the'bondelhat make us here
Know otireeives Immortal,
Drop away like foliage seer.
At life'sinner portal 1
What is holiest below
Must forever live and glow.
I shall love the sage's well.
After I have found them
In the MlloBlol3ll*here they dwell
With the glory round therm
Rat at first, without surprise,
Let me look In human eyes.
Step step our feet must go
Up t he b holy mountain ;
Drop by drop within us Sow
Life's unfailing fountain.
Angels Meg with crowns that burn
We shall hare A sou Jo learn.
Re who on our earthly yeah
Eltde o• help each other—
Who his Well-Beloved h►th
Made our Elder Brother—
Wlll but clasp the chain of love
Closer when we meet above.
Therefore dread I not to go
O'er the silent Hirer.
Death, thy hastening ear I know ;
Bear rae, thou,- bWegiver.
Through the watery', to the shore.
Where mine own here gone before '
—Lucy Larrems.
THE LADY IN DRAB
In an elegantly furnished room in one
of the handsomest mansions of a far
famed city, two young girls were, as the
youngerof the two expressed it, " kill
ing time." One was a fair bright little
creature, with an abundance of _long
sunny curls falling about her in all di
rections. Ijer companion, a tall, beau
tiful girl of eighteen, was in every re
spect different from Blanche
,Barclay;
the fair blonde whom we have portray
ed. There was a quiet, thoughtful look
resting on bar beautiful features, and
she started as thongh from a deep rever
ie, whhn her cousin exclaimed, " I do
believe it is about time to dress for the
party, Florence t" -
Florence Leslie made no reply, for a
moment or so; then she turned to
Blanche with a beautiful smile and said
—" I am just plagued to death going to
parties; at home it seemed to me I did
nothing else, and every place it is the
same old story."
" Now, Florence. that is too bad, '
chimed in Blanche
But Florence went on " People will
admire my clothes, and I might just as
well be a brown wick. I heppen to
have* very plain drab drew with ow,
and I will wear that, and you must paw
me off as a poor cousin ; you agrWto %t,
don't You 1 '
" I sec I will have W , btit, Florence,
it is too bad to think that you who areso
wealthy, should pass for a depend!nt
cousin."
'" Uh, it will be nice ; come lot's dross,
1 long to don my drab."
I say , Billings, who's Oust ysou9
tidy dressed in drab—sho puts ono m
Mind of a Q,uskoress , st least her dress
does?"
" I don't know exactly," was the re
ply " but the came here with the charm
ing little creature, Blanche Barclay ;
probably she is one poor relation, or
Barclay's governess perhaps "
A handsome, noble young fellow, who
bad heard the conversation, walked to
wardi Chelr hostess and requested an in
troduction to Florence. She blushed
slightly as she preceived the dark eyes
of the stranger fixed on her, and secret
ly wondered what Clarence Raymond
could see in bor that made him seek an
introduction....
Not noticing the elevated noses of
nianerous belles, who wondered that the
peat lion of the season could waste a
minute talking to such a poorly dressed
young lady. Mr. Raymond seated him
self beside Flo' ence with the qucistion
"Are you enjoyinc yourself this even
ing, Miss Leslie?"
Yes, .very much," was the quiet ro
t
P -
"Are you fond of dancing, and if
so, may I have this pleasure of your
company for the set that. is just form
ing 1" were his next questions.
" Air to your first question," Florence
answered, "I am rather fond of it, but
as regards the secqnd, I beg you will
excuse me, as I have determined not to
dance thia evening."
From talking of the party they soon
verged on one thing and another, until
'Clarence thought he had found a most
agreeable fiend ; and as he left her that
evening, he determined to call on Miss
Barclay the following evening.
The morning after the party the two
cousins were again in their sitting room
but this time chatting on the pleasures
of tip preg taus evenfig, when Blanches
mother entered the room, saying :
" Blanche, you will have ,to hurry.
and go down to your papa's oftiCe-rooms
with a very ieportant meessg be - for
gottbia morning; I have ordered the
carriage fur you." -
Blanche rose from her easy position
'with a sigh of regret, but Florence ex
claimed: "lot de go, aunt; I would
like a walk, so you need not send a car.
ritg e aq d WY aowip does not feel in
chill to go out Oils' morning."
" hank you, Florence,' returned
ONO. Barclay, 'irwish you wbuld,'and
il l ptt l go„I gall quit* eggy.sloulac
wites."
FlprenFe' felt quite treat' after tier twig
lislft, as she reached' tiie immense build - -
ing in, which wait slidated her uncle's
ollice. She sialked briskly down the
long entrance pull, and having ascended
a pair of stairs, as her mint hail directed,
she MUM herlicif face te 'AA , * With"
couple of young men who were auditing
together. Notllsowlu whether to turn
to clip righeor td\tbe raft, oho ptilitely
inquired - if, they could direct her to Mr,
Bere‘s,,Office. .
1
The ' ntle
than kl age, t h e ey slit :.
.3 .,
enee for a in t, n o
gentleman, st i n h mie
clients, ',yelled ' e -,,, tit
and inquire:li', s w h o d - '5,011,'
give to know ?" 'While his companion
said tlkity sht Ivinted-to-know how far
it 'Was ho could inform her, it was as fa
again as half.
Poor Florence, if she had raised her
th'icryttl), - tties , latent have seen tlfefle
digrtent Scowl that flashed from hor bril
liAutAties, hut hra thciatd,...aposkps. had
tlhiskedShe was hurrying on.
- A quick step sounded behind leer, and
in a gentlemanly, polite voice, she heard
Clarence Saymond exclaim: "This
way, madam; and in another moment
she stood before the door on which she
recognized her uncle's name.
She only bowed her thanks to thogon
tleman and then rushed into her uncle's
office, .. .
Blanche was very indignant when
Florence informed her of what the young
gents had said to bet. She vowed she
would lot them know rretty quick who
it was they had insulted.
But Florence said she bad a better
idea than that, and it was to appear at a
Tarty they were going to the next even
in in her real character
The following evening Mr. Barclay
tilt a glow of pride as he entered Mrs.
Armatagera .drawing-room,
with his daughter end:niece. Both were
so beautiful, yet so Itnlike, and dozens
passed towards the hostess to inquire who
that beautiful stranger was for Flor
ence 4.eslie-yresented quite a different
a.spectVressed in the height of fashion,
and she)yras suddenly transformed from
the plainest dressed young lady to the
!most elegantly attired ono there
Foremost among thegroup for an in
troductioi wore our former acquain- ,
Lances, Mr. Billings and his friend Hart
ley.
With a most polite bow and gracious
smile, she recognized her introduction
to Billings Sicbo immediately &And if she
would do hint the honor of dancing the
next set with him. kl
There was ft haughty look about her
beautilul lips fora moment, and then in
silvery accents and with a peculiar em
phasis, she retarned •
"How much would you
. give to
know 1"
Mr. Hilltops gave Florence ono look
and he knew all. Without one word
the poor fellow shrunk out of sight.
Not many minutes had elapsed ere
Florence found herself chatting gaily
with Mr. Hartley.
"Have you been in the city long ?" he
inquired
"Not very ''
!'flow far from he. re. teo , our honie,Miss
rano 1"
"Just as far again as halt, Mr. Hart-
In another moment Florence stood
aloof-, while her companion took one of
the back streets towards his boarding
house.
Mr. Raymond had recognized Flor
ence the moment she entered, but now
stood aloof from the reigning belle. As
soon ns she got the opportunity she
went towards hun, with the question—
" Have you forgotten me this evening?"
"No," was the reply, "but to-night
you were surrounded by such a brilliant
crowd that I thought you would forget
me "
"No, indeed," was the warm rejoin
der, "I never forget, thy friends."
Florence returned to hor own beauti
ful home, and a. she sat one morning in
her drawirag•roorn Mr 'Raymond was
announced The hours flew swiftly by,
and when he rose to go, there was a
happy smile on Florence's face, and an
she extended both her hands to him at
parting, there flashed on one of her ta
pering fingers, her engagement ring ;
and as Clarence bent over and whisper
ed some questions in her ear, she laugh
ingly said: "Yea, Clarence, yew, the
heiress loves 'you just as well and better
than the young lady in drab did "
Moderate Drinking
W e subunit the lollowing anecdote to
thearonsiderntion of the aiivoentes of
moderate drinking. The 'story If/ told
by Goethe, •nd illustrates the capacity
for drink of the ithinetaildere:
"The Bishop of May ence once deity.
eyed a sermon against dru n ken nese, and
after painting in the strongest cyders the
evils of over indulgence, concluded as
follows : "But the abuse of wine dove
not exclude its use, for it is written that
ci
l .
wine r kices the heart of man. Proba
bly th is no one in my congregation
who ea of drilik four bottle* of wine
without feeling any disturbance of his
senses ; but if any man at gm seventh
or eighth bottle eo forgets himself as to
ahnee and effike his wife and children
and treat his best friends as enemies,
let him look into his conscience, and in
future always stop at the sixth bottle.
Yet, if after drinking eight, or even ten
or twelve bottles, he can still take his
Christian neighbor lovingly by the hand
and obey the orders of his spiritual and
temporal superiors, let him thankfully
take his modest draught. Ile must he
careful, however, an to taking any more,
for it is seldom that Providence gives
any one the special grace to drink six.
teen bottles at a sitting, as it has ents ,
bled me, its unworthy servant, to do
without either neglecting my duties or
losing my temper.'"
President Grant' has given an office
to a poor fellow who had both arms
blown off infiring a salute in his honor.
This was very good for the nut's who
fired the blank cartridge. But Grant
has forgotten hundreds of brave'fellowe
whose limbs were lost, not in • perform
ing the idle ceremony of a salute, hut
in front of the enemy's cannon, at the
Wilderness, at Vicksburg, and at Don
elson, under his orders. 'Their salute's
*ere at the enerhy,•ffiwn shooed pole,
but Grant-had 'xi-sympathy4p t . thak.
lied they receitosl l wounda in Arias a
salute fc . gratify hie vanity they wo,uld
have had a sure paeeport to honor And
°Mee. They Meter) , served their omen•
try, not Giant, and must, therefore, be
turned out or deice AO , Millike room tor
the blank cartridge, 4th of July home
guarde.
Shysters GOeitt,efrid Sitta
1
T r
'
~ t h ew s vr sts. k ott . _
Te t ^" A tki h t., tofo i r e a
I p e l n cm 11 4 ' P r m u ° ' petty
n I tit t pp
~ ry confine
1}
t , r r s c ed t ; f crime.—
° • getrately etta pppassed to
have no consciences , an itilliteadesym
pathizing with the. unfortunate, to re
joice in their misfortune, tuna under pre
tense of aiding those who °lupin" them
to escape conviction and sentence, will
reb their-victims of the- last dollar in
their ppssession t and then,b3ave them to
fate. This idea of a "ihyster " Is not
allogetherincorreet; for We occasional
ly hear of a lawyer whose dignity .and
vaunted self-esteem will not permit him
to descend to petty court practice, but
who will " shysterize " a client in a
manner that would be considered dis
creditable to a police pettifogger.
One such instance recently occurred in '
this neighborhood, under the following I
circumstances :
It will be recollected that a few years
ago money letters and packages of mon
ey passing through our post-office mys
teriously disappeared, and fur some time
the ingenuity of the government detec
tives failed to discover the thieves. Fi
nally two of the clerks in the °ik°
named respoeti•ely, Suill van and Barry,
were shadolved , P . and detected. On
being searched, the slim of $2,500 was
found on SuDivans person, but no funds
of any account wore found in the posses
sion of Mr. Barry. They were both
convicted of rating. the mails, and sen
tenced to State prison for the term of
ten years each As there were no claim
ants who could prove their rights to - the
money taken from Sullivan, it would
have to be returnee' to him on the re
lease from prison. The fact was well
known to an ex-U. S. District Attor
ney, i}nd ansx-pest-master, who, it is
said, proposed to Sullivan to have him
set at liberty on condition that he would
give them an order for this money. To
this of course ho. assented, and applica
tion was at once made to Andrew John
son for a pardon. lie could see no rea
son for granting on&, and so the case
looked hopeless, until President Grant
inherited the pardoning power, when all
the artlfices and devices oft ,he Shys
ter " were brought to bear „upon him,
by the ex-official referred to, and he
yielded. As a consequence Mr. Sulli
van is now a free man, while his confed
erate in guilt remains a prisoner, because
he had no money with which to pur
chase his liberty.
"It la a mime to steal,
Therefore ateel not at all
Ilut then if you moat steal
Rtenl gent, not small."
(From the De(rolt Union.)
OVER THE THRESHOLD
t - ' . .." . •••• t
IT T. W. V tITIIIIIII.
Over the threshold, worn rind bare,
The infant takes its trial step .
Tottering feeble, yet safe and mire,
By the loving arm ore mother kept
Innocent darling. knowing not
Of the thousand steps In life's weary way ,
Slay you never want for a mother's hand
To keep and guard you in childhood's day
Over the threshold of rhll4llmmi
Into the days of youth we go,
Little dreaming of snares around,
Or dangers ant by a cruel foe.
Let us bllfe that ever. when danger a near,
Ws may find • friend who will warning give
Per without a smile or a friendly word
This life were a wenrimome life to line
Oyer The tlireehold of youth again
We step Into ntanhnouts trnobloun yearn;
And And though in life there le much of Joy,
There fit plenty of rooni for grief and teal,
When our golden elsione are melting away
Before the cold, stern reality.
Mayon be prepared for a better life,
Of peaceful immortality I
Over the threshold of manhood now,
Into the yearn of age we st rev ,
And our brows are furrowed with linen of earn
our once dell, locks are itilrery gray.
But one more etep we have to take ,
And when the threshold of life ispassed.
May the angels, wait, with songs of joy.
To welcome us home to Heaven at last
Deslevolion of Galloon
The French aeronaut, M. Eugene
Godard, has been making ascents in hie
enormous balloon, Le Cologne, and tak
ing passengers on a tour aloft at the
rate of three hundred franca a head
On his return to earth at the end of
his second tr, met with a strange
mishap. At about xis miles from Flor
ence the volume organ nits diminished :
the grapnels sere thrown out, and the
party alighted in the midst of a erosd
of gaping ninth:l,, limn % of s lion) had
pipes in their Mouths. M Godard,
having to let out the gas remaining in
the balloon, politely begged the ma
kers to retire: butleitys a correspondeut)
lie might as well base nopken to the
cahliage grow ing nroundo All the louts
rinsed forwerd, puffing away and light
tug Ineifers on their sleeves. The con•
sequences mat be imagined tu the
ts inkling of an eJe the air was a sheet
aflame, and though nobody was hurt,
the' balloon, valued at 6,000 francs,
was reduced to under. Then followed
a disreputable Keene of i oilence and ex
tortion. One insisted upon a cotnpen -
Ration for the fright, another for him
pig, whose tail had got singed by the
fire, another for the pestilential effect
of the gas upon his cabbages, and so
on. As these demands were enforced
by threats aceompained by sonic nig
niticant cedgelplay, the acrid travelers
were compelled to satisfy all demands,
HAD is stated that
an Irishman called upon a deaciple of
I.l:sculapina and informed him that him
wife watt Pick, and required Medical aid.
The M. D. wan willing to give his a+
tention to the case, but desiredAhe man
to pay in advance or enter into an a
grcement to pay when his acrvicea were
no longer needed.
"An' it'll tie kill or cure for twenty
dollars'!" *aid Pat.
"Yes."
Pat vitus satisfied, and lett the Dr. to
performthe contract. The woman died,
and in ine time lie presented hle bill.
- Pat Lookad.nt-iLtotaoment,.ata,dalatio
naked :
"An' did yez cure her?"
"No," answered the physician:
"AnAid yez kill herr?
This was s poster, and the H. D. dis
covered that Pathad Caught him The
Vitt at last accounts had mot beep, set
tled. -
Vo Young men
,
To thy kackadasieal youth with an
inner **lowness, of fatless 'for a
"grent4fe- ; inissioni".; rtic rly
ul t ra
carom I fOrigwing' a a elk
"L, le er ,40, be itoo u
inakh ii. or not lf tb e
(h 8 y • ' k alligt, t
git a eh titiwhliti bc nd,
slave qrs4it, give more time to business,
and-isdd, to..the profits and reputation
of your word. Honor your engage
ments. If you promise to meet a ludo
or do A gertitin thing at a certain ,u3O.
Meat, ho ready nt the appointed time.
If you have work to (10, do it tit once,
eheerfallp, itrt - thrreftoc 'more apt edtty.
and eorreetlY. If you gii on business,
attend to the : matter promptly, and then,
as promptly go about your own busi
ness. Do not stop to tell stories in
business hours.
If you have a place of business be
found there when wanted. No man
can gei rich by slttitig around stores
and saloons. Never "fool" pn business
matters. If you have to labor for a liv
ing, remember that one hour in the
morning is Leiter than two at night.
If yon employ others, be on hand to see
that they attend to their duties, and di
rect with regularity, promptness, liber
ality. Do not meddle with any busi•
ness you know nothing of. Never buy
any artielesimply because the man who
sells it will take it nail trade. Trade
is money. Time is money. A good
business habit and reputation is always
money. Make dour Owe of business
pleasant and attractive, then stop there
to wait on customers.
Never use quick words, or allow your
self to make ungentlemanly remarks to
those in your employ ; for to do so lea
seas their respect for you and your in
thence over them. Help yourself, and
others will help you. Be faithful over
the interests confided to your keeping,
and in All good time your responai :
bilities will he increased. Do not, he in
too great Imitate to get riebt. Do not
build until you have arranged and laid
good foundation. Do not—as you
hope or work for SllCCCMl—spend your
time in idleness. If" our time is your
own, business will suffer if you do. If
it is given to another for pay, it belongi
to him, and you have no more righ,t to
steal it than to steal money. Be oblig.
ing. Strive to avoid harsh words and
personalities. Do not hick roery stone
in the path ; more miles can he made
in a day by going steadily on than by
stopping to kick. Pay as you go. A
man of honor respects his word as he
does his bond. Ask, but .never beg.
Help others when you can, hut never
give when yon cannot atiord to, simply
because it is fashionable. Learn to say
no. No neeessity of snappi ng it out dog
riph, but say - it firmly and - I-erect=
Have but few ratifidantes, and
' the fewer the better Use your brains
' rather than those of others. Learn to
think and act for "ourself. Pc honest.
Be vigilant. Keep ahead rather then
‘ behind the times. Young men cut this
out, and if there is lolly in the argu
ment let no know."
TH . ESt ERE LEGS.--A on of the Grim
ite State went &mu to Memphis to
sect( his fortune. lic found instead a
diarrhea, which gradually snaps life in
a chronic form.
It was with thin that poor Bagley
was picked up. Aid montb.„after
month it surged. At length he wan
hut the outline of his former nelf—a
perfect skeleton. •
A «orthv minister of the Gospel can
the poor fellow, and seeing that the
King of Terrors had spotted him, de
'ermined to call on him and to oiler
npmitnal eonwAation. lie broached the
'hited, somewhat in this manner.
-My dear Mr. Bagley, in View of
your relation to this life, hon do you
feel ?"
"I}—n was the prompt reply.
"Don't swear, my poor friend," said
the parson, "and let me ask, do you
ever think of your latt%endr
"siord I" said l Bagl , han't
th&glit on any thing else for mnre'n
three long months."
"Not, I am afraid. in the right way
Mr. Bagley. 1 beg you, pause anti re.
fleet. It is time that you begin to wren•
tie with the Lord."
The tack man looked down at his
miserable piker Legs extended before
him, and with an expression of amaze.
ment its his countenance, exclaimed:
“Itestle with the Lord—What, with
'em ere legit,' is:dining to his own.
"Why, parson, he'd dip me to 11-1
the first pass."
2). Pewter RF.1'1,1.-I.tc:V. Rowland
Hill used ti, ride to and from church in
a carriage. 'l'h iv gave ofrenl to one of
his members nt [last, who ent so far
as-to baud in utSong the notices one
requesting "the prayers of this congre
gation for the pastor, who, yielding to
pride, is in the habit of riding in his
carriage, not conteht like his Divine
Master to ride upon an ass." It was
not till Mr. H. had read the paper, and
observed the sensation treated, that he
noticed its report; then laying it down,
he said, "It ts - true, brethern, I ride in
my carriage, but if the author of this
notice will appear at the door at the
conclusion of the services, saddled and
bridled, I will do my best to ridehim
home."
Out or litramt.—Donn Piatt isnot
pleased with the attacks Blade u pop
him by the "little creatures," of the
radical party because Grills open thrusts
and charges, and thus pine them to the
wall.
wihey don't know it but -I do, that
the vilest Coppprhead I ever encounter
ed is an hnitearman by the side of Ben.
Butler, The roughest .rough of the
Dernoeraoy is a gentleman by the side
OfCltestiler. And the stupid ass that
bowls "nigger" at the cross rOstlit is a
statesman by the side of Kelly. Now
am I to heap abuse on Fernitnilo W..
and Jimmy Brooks; and hold my peace
in the presence of such fellows, whose
unlicensed liberty not only endangers
our organisatioS, but threatens the
country ? •
CM=
,
......_ - flr th,R4rsipness. _ L , L ,
Ttlit , ) l yh f atlitlie.c:lther.
t •
LET Ut on'oss OE nlYtn.
—The poorest farmer in the land, if
.' • ' unable to feed his calves, tan aiWayfi
Ile J. ',rime
• gease . hiashisus......
' I
.. 7:cross o'c llio• rivalth
—Babies are like wheat, ; they are
tuotspr thkrushirood,
cradled arid'thraslied, and finally become
l Li &rest oor we a r' leSio ...N ..
the flower of the family.
L'Neith the:Rh ows of wood.
—Ben- Wade, the light of Mother
Piesii not , Otir vnliry footthtfn . . Goose's Melodies, says "the logic of
tihis an mmer's'sorithini beet. Sumner's speech Is irresistible.
For many miles boor aped : since hlOlll
-..*Velltte the friendship of him who
Beneath their bleseftng,
, Ceot.
stands by you in the storm ; swarms of
Insects surround you in the sunshine.
—A philosopher saya.thet if anythin g
will make a woman swear, it is lookin g
for,h'er night-cap after the lanip'h blown
out.
Let us creel', then, o'er the rtzer
Wo'll enjoy
. the cooling breeze,
And we'll rest our weary legloun
In,the Khado4o4 of theireee. _
lifttni mhes ar'e yet before . on,
And n victory must be won.
We mint cross o'er yonder mountain
Err the setting of the nun.
But the Infantry are weary,
They inapt have a little rest,
E'rvi the,croise beyond the valley,
And climb yon niountaln'n crest.
Come, we'll crone o'er the rivet
Anti Inhale the cooling breeze;
Vie will rent n while, beneath
The nhatlews of the trees.
nfI.MOUTZ, Pt , June IA 1860.
Hani and the Decoys
Everybody about Timbnctoo, up to
Yuba county, knows Hans Himmeitan
sen, or, as he is more usually called
"Dutch John,"- a good-hearted jovial
Teuton, once well off, but now reduced
to the position of n Flume Guard.
Hans goes out hunting Once in a
while. Ife went after ducks not long
since. You cunt get him to go after
them again. The reason is this. Sonie
of the hors played him a trick. They,
got a couple of wooden - decoy ducks and
neatened them with a string in the edge
01 some bushes in a little pond near the
town, where they could be seen as the
wind wafted them out the length of the
string.
Hans was told that a couple of wild
ducks were in the pond, and hurrying
to his quarters he got his gun, loaded
it heavily, and crept down within range
of the ducks.
Taking good aim, he fired, and the
ducks were tient with a rueh back into
the bindles by the shot,
Ilene thought, of course, he had kill
ed them, but mopped to load, in ease
they were only wounded. Meantime
the wind blowing through the buehee
pretty sharpriblew them out on the wa
ter to the leangth of the string again.
"Dtr tyful ! I shooted dew tooke
once!" said 'lnns, in astonishment.
"Now dey sehwirns out likes dey were
never shot with a gun ' not slt rill Dun•
Berl 1 makes em hell schnnell din
timer'
And again he took a deliberate aim,
and let fly.
The force of the shot instantly drove
the ducks in out of sight again, and
Hans dropped his gun to go after them.
Rut before he had got twenty yards, he
saw to his astonishment that the ducks
were swimming out as before, unharm
ed.
He hillie . d, in hillf wonder, half to
ro r.
"Mein cot!" he muttered. "Two
times 1 shooted deny tam Looks! and
two limes icy conic oat yunt an pelore.
I (link dey in de tovveon own took !
I trien again---zee if I tont !"
And ngam, with a double charge of
both powder and idiot to bin gun, Hans
drew for the.Mickn. Ile fired, and o cat
end over end with the recoil. When
he got lip, not a duck was iu night
"1 shoot' ern all to pieces dat time I - '
he cried, an he rubbed Ills latue shoul
der.
Just then out floated the ducks aFitin.
"Mein cot in hirnmels I Tey is ter
tityvel's tacks ! groaned Hans. "Three
ti men I shoot'ew all over tend, and dere
day is ali%e !"
' 4 l'll bet you two fifty they're dead'"
cried Tomniy Newbert, with n Prnikt
• ‘ll mirnel---eati't I see dem schwim !"
erred liana.
“Two fifty you've riddled thou—and
two fifty they're dead !” cried Ilium
; 4 11emmels ! I het you lint. But how
we broven it 7 Yon can't catch'em 7
"Yen, come along with me, and l ii
catch them tor you 7 "
There was some tall swearing in
Dutch when Dann paid o er the $2.50,
and found out how he had Ire° sold. •
If you want to ace a mad Dutchman,
'plat arty "ducks - to Ilune, and you'll be
accomlnoduled.
AN I,Tcr.mcatiT Ifori.—Ml l . Chan
ing Moore, residing at Richmond, film
ten Island, has a Newfoundland dog
%hid), at times, inanifeots almost hu
man intelligence. The morning stage
from New York leaves the New ] Y ork
papers at the gates or various aubscri
bers on the road. Mr. Moore's dog al
ways watches for the sheet and carries
it into the house. The other morning
the paper, as it was thrown -by the dri
ver, caughti isomebushes. After mak
ing several ineffectual attempts to reach
and pull down the sheet, the dog start
ed after the stage, caught the paper
dropped by the driver at the next holm,
and ran home with it as fast as he
could go.
SMART or litaloc—Freddy in a lit
tle one of seven leers' growth, the eon
ofa minister, who, with hie wife, had
just nt a new field of labor,
Hearing lila mother nay to bin father'
that ehe had been deceived by bin nay •
ing the parsonage was a three story
when in fact., it ''ae only two,
he nail: 'Ma."Well, Freddy V 'The
kitchen is This Boor is
two) ead the story that pa told is three I'
Iliatesnt4 Bsprtirr preach=
erin !sitaibtfigk-40
lie text, ' r and . made man to lidown
image." •Ife then commenced "An hon
est man is the nahleet work ofGod."
Then lie made a longpause, and look.
ell searchingly about the audience, and
then exclaimed, "But I opine Ood
Mighty hasn't h4d-a job in this city for
rdet on to Atteen years."
--lißackiel, why Ana a barber file an
unsophlsticated juvenile ?" "I can't
prognosticate." "Because he is a shs
vor
-Beveg hundred girlq responded to
the advertisement for performers in Ulu
ballot of the "Forty Thieves,"-ut
—BMieflt your friends, that they may
love you still more dearly . ; benefit your
enemies, that they •may become your
friends.
—An Illinois editor has blaelodid
from Western editorial principles by
voluntarily placing liinaselfin an incbr.
ate asylum.
"There now," exclaimed a little girl,
while rummaging a drawer in a bureau,
111 i,, randpa has gone to heaven without
spectacles."
Goodness me I" cried a nice old
lady, the other day, "if the aorld does
Iconic to an end next year, what (hall I
do for snuff r
—New York, all the year rattail tars
the llerrld, spends on an average ,51:36,,
000 per week .or musical and thsamcal
entertainments
—An Illinois farmer set tiro to tr,.
grass or, his prairie land the other day
and burned up his two children wh,
were out at play.
--Wendell Philips is now champior.
ing the eause_of the Indians, and advises
them to seek redress against the United
States by tearing up the Pacific railway
—Josh Billings says that if a man
proposes to, servo the Lord, he likes to
see him do it when he measures corn, a,
well as whili he hollers glory hullalu
yer,
—A young lady went into a Musk
Store, the other day, and asked for
"feline Intestines for lyrical purposes
She was nccomodatefl with cat-gut gui
tar strings.
—A. shoestring saved a MOP girl,
life ill llnven, the other day. It raußht
on a tall its she fell out of a third-itur
window, and held her from death anal
assistance came.
—We have heard of n young lady in
this city who keeps a list of her man
■cguaintancesin a pocket diary. and tail ,
it her Aim book Wonder if she itt,
any Psalms in it
—An exchange says it is fortune. ,
Grant hus been married but once. Were
a first wife's relations added to the
present connections, the offices would be
absorbed entirely.
—A good definition—A little girl in
Fch oo I gave as a definition of "leering
false witness against your neighbor" that
"it wits when nobody did Nothing and
somebody- went and told of it,"
—Official returns show that during
the lest twelve months the number of
horses slain in Paris for the meat marl?:
amounts to 2,-10q, Five per cent ha,
been employed iA making hallfagl'S
—"Did you know," said a cunning
Gentile to a Jew, "that they hang Jew.
and jackasses together in Portland 7
"Indeed l" retorted Solomon, "den it
ish veil dat you end I ish not dere "
—An inebriated man walking along
the streets at night, regarded the mow
V 4 ith aoverign contempt ; "You need r:
be so proud ale fellerr, Ikty said "Your.
full only one, a mouth, and I am vver.
night "
—"What I tipsy again ?" sa id a wif ,
to her husband "No my donr",aal he
"not tips), but a little Plibery Th,
fact is somebody has been rubbing m,
boots till they Sr. as smooths as is paLi ,
of glass."
—Felix McCarty, of the Kerry '1 111.-
tiu, was generally late on parade. ,
Felix," said the nergennt, "you Are al.
ways left " "Ile airy, Sergeant Selli•
van." wits Ms reply, "sure ore
must be lasht."
—A bright-faced little boy in 1V. , .
Liberty, Ohio, was asked at Sander
Pchool the other day who wrote the ! , ;,,W
Testament. Ile moniptly re,umehd in
float. VOIIT, RN one wlin'
he afflrmed—"Donn Platt "
—Some IiOVA in Ph!ladelphia mak , 4
very good living by going
streets of a morning, observing whiv"
aidewallis are washed after the I..cs
hour of seven o'clock, and then turnin;
informers Half the penalty goes to the
00 former.
—A printer, who employed a n umber
of female compositor 3, lately inquired e
a friend if he had "any daughters wh
would make good type setters "
which hit acquaintance replied :
but. I have a wife who would maken
excellent devil."
—There Is a sentiment as bennaicul
just in the following lines': "Ile whn
forgets the fountain from. which he
drank, and the tree under whose shade
ho gamboled In the days of hi. M onth,
a stranger to the sweetest impressions n!"
the human heart."
Whittemore, the night editor
of the World newspaper, has a streak of
good hick Which any , journalist miglit
well envy. Hinktherin-law, who died
a few days mince, has left a round two
hundred, thousand dollars to the c ouple,
and it is expected that st. hundred thou
sand dollars additional ' will be realized
from the estats'tithen it is settled up.
—A. traveller on one of the Mestere
ilteamboste recently,,, was landed near
hie' home, and as thh boat was about to
••' - ‘ 4 lisdhv , iesiptalin -thaw's- soMething
misting lire t"
'What 4,10" askeicthe eaptain• „
"Hang me It I can recollect now,
said the traVelter , let me see, here's all
nay trunks, boxes, two dogs, aild—oh
thunder I it's my wife and little gel
that are asleep 'in the cabin I I know
there was something else I" .