& = TTR — map or rm ———— RATE IN ow Stiscellancous, "THE PAPERS ALEXANDER MARION MELHORN. |Lrom the Logan (Ohio) Gazelte.] Shakespeare used to be a taleated person. fle could portray a thing with much ability, especially for the theatre, for which he scemed to have a natural instinct. In con. scquence of which it would be a uighty good thing if he was living at the present day to enact these things on the stage. Wouldn't they be rich? The undersigned having formerly been a j. p., with great cclat, he would therefore invoke a portion of the sacred nine on this occasion, to as- sist the fires of his intellect on his high dramatic comjosition. Which he asks with far greater confilence, owing to the fact; that Shakspeare being now extinct, there is a histrionic vacum, or, as it were an aching void, which appeals to the intel- lect of the period with much ability. DRAMATIS PERSQX XE. Honest Old Ale, Messenger, 2 Boys, 5 African Witches, A Little Woman, 20.000 Wide Awalkes. SCENE I. Honest Od Abe mauling some rails, and inging. +*O, Dinah, is de hoe cake done,” with much warmth. SCENE 11, : The same with several nigger witches in the distance, dancing juber round a big pot with fire under it. First Witch— Stir up the charm, Or powerful barm, And throw in seme wool, Over al eyes to pully While we stir, stir, sur! Second Witch— Here’s wool from the head Of Old Uncle Ned, Who died long ago, long ago ; While he dreamec 1n hig bed, I'soteit and fled, Atter biting oft his big tue. Thad Witch— Here’s a nail frem the thumb, Of old Uncle Tow; Likewise two jaw-teeth, Which I found underneath, A far spreadimg juniper tree ; Where the pious old saint, Proof to sin’s slightest taint, Was beaten to death by Degree. Fourth Witch— Here's Beecher’s last sermon, All recking with vermin— Foul vermin which not in blocd, [Here they all clasp their noses aud sing jn concert |— Ob, the horrible stench ! No wonder we clench, Our noses by common consent ; But the charm mast go through, I" ough we sicken and spew, For its teo late now io repent. Iifth Witch— Here's Greeley's last issue Of falsehood a tissue, As foul as the slime of a toad, 1 read it last night By a Wide-Awake lamp, Which 1 found mn the bond of the road | Dashes it into the pot. | As sure as I'm a hag, I'he American flag 1s naught but a * ‘Haunting lie,” Whale the soul of John Biown Which went “down, derry down *’ Has gove up to the regions on high. All the witches— la, ha, ha —bully for Grecley. SCENE IIL The same—The honest old person advan- ccs towards the witches, with a big. maul in one hand and dinner basket in the other, while a large dogwood glut proceeds from each trowser pocket. He sings— Possum up a gum stump, Cooney in de hollah, Taddy ink a ding ding, diddle, diddle,dol'ah First witch-—Dry up old slab sides. Lincoln--That reminds me of a little an- ecdote. Second witch—Let’s hear it, old lop ear. Lincoln—Wall, its abut one of my flist clients, Ile made cut a fust rate case, and 1 came into court with it, sure of success. But when the witnessesses for the defence was examined I saw my ‘cake was dough,’ and so did my client, for he bent clean over and whispered iu my ear, say he, ‘1 guv it up,” suys he. A'®'the witches—Ha, ba, ba, ha, bully for your fust clicut, old jaw-bone, First witch—[ Aside} —He's the very man for our purpose. He ean maul rails and tell anecdotes. They sing— Kick the chunks beneath our charm, Stir it well and keep it warm, We have found the man we want ; Democrats, avant! avaunt! We'll put the devil on your track, With a big buck nigger on his back, And if he catch ycu, woe the day, The nigger come [rom Africa. First witch ~All haik the Sccond Wash- ington, Second witch - All hail the pride and glory of the wighty West, All the witches ~Hail Honest Qld 2be | Hail President that shall be, as the sequel shall truly show. [Vhey sing] Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, boil, Who this devilish charm can foil, Lard oil lamps and cil cloth capes, Bugs and bats, baboons and apes ; Who 2an stand before the swarm, We shall conjure with o r charm ¥ Up whang-doodles, kna.es and fools ! You must be our supple tools ; We must dig a million graves; We must free four million slaves, - For each white son or father slain, Upon the bloody battle plain, Four negroes shall their freedoin gain ! £CENE IV. A law office in the mighty West—Mr, Lincoln reading the Tribune with his usnal ability. He is delighted to learn that the normal condition of the terr.tories is that of freedom” [Euter a messenger, out of breath. Messenger—The wig [ah] wig-wigwam has nom-n minated you for president. Lincoln —Wal, I swow. Ain't you jest ing. . Messenger —Nary time. You're nomina- ted, that's honest. Lincoln — Wal, stranger, jest you keep shop a spell, till [ come back. There's a little woman that'll be tickled half to death aver this. |Exit Washington No 2.] SOBNE V. A cottage in the suburbs, a little woman washing dishes, a couple of half-grown spindleshanked boys sitting on the floor, playing the complicated game of bushel with red and yellow corn grains. Enter the Second Washington, greatly agitated. Second Washington—“Ilave you hearn the late news 277 Little womnan-—*No, but IT would like to Second Washington—¢