~@he Democrat
VOL. 7.
lisgellangons,
Buying a Wedding-Cake.
“ Letters, sir, from de pos office 2”
“Very well, Sambo, put em down and
take yourself off!’
I had just finished my breakfast, and the
tiny silver chochlatiere. with the bachelor
service of transparent china, still stood on
the damask-draped round table. It was a
‘bright little room, with its white and gold
‘paper, and high heaped grate, on the gray
light of this chill December morning, when
‘the air thick with noiseless falling snow
flakes ; and this contrast between the bitter
atmosphere without and the tropical warmth
of my own special nook gave me an addi-
tional consciousness of satisfaction, as I
leaned back in my chair and proceeded to
examine my correspondence.
Lee Worcester wants to know if I can
come there to tea this evening. Of course I
can. Lee's wife is a perfect little rose bud,
and one, besides, who don’t believe in cash-
iering all her husband’s bachelor friends. —
And then I rather like that brown eyed s1s-
ter-in-law of his. Yes, I’ll go, certainly. —
Halloo—-here’s a letter from my brother in
Glenfield ! I untoided the document eagers
ly, scarcely able, at first, to credit the tid-
ings it revealed.
Well, here is a pretty state of things. —
Going to be married, claims my congratula-
tions, says that Mary (who the dickens 1s
Mary ?) is in great tribulation about the
wedding cake ; affair to come off on Wed
nesday, and no cake to be had for love or
money ! ~ Will I be the best fellow in the
world, and send down one from D’Artier,s ?
I glanced at the date of the letter, It had
been delayed for several days on the road,
and there was not a minute to be lost. 1
rose, mechanically, giving one more heedful
gaze at the various “directions ubout icing,
weight ang decorations, which accompanied
Tom’s closely written epistle, before T sal
lied forth boldly to the street on my novel
crrand.
It was just al out one o’clock, the snow
had ce.sed falling, and the sun shone bril-
hantly. D’Artier’s was full, of course ;—
there were at least a dozen ladies that I
knew sitting at the tiny marble tables. I
tried tc assume an air of easy impudence, as
if I bad only come in for a pound of choco
late almonds, but it was no use; I could
not disgaise the latent sheepishness of my
aspect as I slowly sauntered up to the coun-
ter.
* How can I serve you, sir ?” demanded
the trim damsel, who presided over the sac*
charine treasurgs.
I muttered something under my mous~
tache, feeling a hot blush suffuse my whole
countenance. Why would not the inquisi
tive—woman kind attend to their ice-
creams ? .
** Cake, sir?”
«¢ Certainly.”
* For a party, sir ¢
and almond—"’
* No, no,” I bawled out ; «I want a wed-
ding cake.”
* Oh, I beg your pardon, sir,” tittered
the atrocious shop woman. Was it reality,
or did I only fancy that the titter was echo-
ed among the bonnets and furs beyond 2—
Hewever that might have been, the mere
apprehension was sufficient to throw me into
a cold perspiration.
The next moment, however, the counter
was heaped with various temples of glisten-
ing white sugar, some grandly wreathed
with make-believe roses, some surrounded
with candy cupids, others with pure white
masses of icing. 1 surveyed them in a state
of hopeless bewilderment
* Perhaps, sir, it would be better if the
lady could come with you to select,” haz-
arded my enemy behind the counter.
1 could endure this badgering no longer,
but pounced upon a gigantic pyramid of su-
gar-lillies, from which peeped up a tiny al
abaster cupid.
*¢T will take this one—what is the price
of it 2’
* Fifteen dollars, sir !"
I laid down the money, and never experi «
enced so delicious a sensation of relief as at
the moment when 1 thrust the cupid, packed
in a round wooden bex, under my arm, and
rushed out of the establishment. How glad-
ly I delivered it to the express agent, who
tossed it to one side as carelessly as if the
transmission of wedding cakes were a mat-
ter of every day occurrence.
“How d’ye do, Golde, when is it to come
off? :
~" When is what to come off 2” ‘querried
1, considerably puzzled at my friend Ather-
;ton’s address.
« Your wedding, to be sure ? Ah, you
.are a sly dog, to keep 228 21 in the dark so
long !”
** You can’t have been mach more in the
Mark than I am at this moment, Atherton.
What in the world do you mean
But Atherton only wagged his head know-
ingly, and rushed off in pursuit of a stage,
Saying something of which I only caught,
the disconnected fragments of “my wife,”
and “D’Artier’s.”
+ Hang that wedding cake !” was my ine
ternal ejaculation.
As T pursued my specalalive way, a tiny
gloved hand was held out from a passing
carriage.
Pound cake, lemon
Ah, Mrs. Everleight, excuse me for not
seeing you before !”?
“ We all know that love is blind,” said
the lady smiling. “Now I know why you
haye not been to see me in such an age.—
My niece was at D’Artiers this morning, and
saw how particular you were in the selec
tion of a certain article !”?
Before I could explain the picce of cir-
cumstantial evidence, there was a movement
in ‘lock’ of carriages which had caused the
temporary detention of my fair friend, and
her equipage rolled away with a wave of the
pretty hand and the archest smile.
I stood looking after her, with an odd
sort of impression that I should awake up
presently to find myself married to some-
body whether or no ; indeed, I was not al~
together certain whether Mrs. Golde was
not waiting for me at home.
How brilliantly the firelight and gaslight
illumined that cozy little room at Lee Wor-
cester’s with pink tinted walls, and crim-
soned carpet, sprinkled with small white
buds. The piano was open, strewn with
sheets of music, just as it had been left, its
pearl keys glimmering softly in the subdued
radiance of one jet of light that glowed thr'o
a frosted shade above. The tea table was
all set—T had often dreamed of a home of
my own that should be something like Lee
Worcester’s in its snug evening comfort,
and somehow the tea table always formed
part of the phantom. There was something
50 bright and cheerful in the snowy dam-
ask, and the sparkling glass and glittering
china. Old bachelor that I was, the golden
blocks of cake and tiny white muffins,
breaking into crisp flakes that melted in
one’s mouth, and amber jellies, quivering
like gigantic jewels through their crystal
prison walls, producing a wonderfully agree-
able effcet in my epicurean sight. And T
could imagine no prettier vision to crown it
all than Mary Worcester, in her crimson
merino dress, edged around the throat with
delicate lace, presiding at the.silver tea urn.
Except, perhaps —but that is neither here
nor there !
Twas a little disappointed on entering not
to see Lee's sister-in-law, a trim little beau-
ty, with brown rippling hair and velvety
eyes somewhere between hazel and black,
bat I did not like to ask any questions, and
consequently remained in ignorance until
Mary casually remarked :
* Nettie is very low spirited this evening,
perhaps she will come down stairs by and
by."
How I longed to ask what the matter was.
Perhaps she had received ill news ; perhaps
she was not well, IT would have given my
two ears to know, but I didn’t dare to in~
quire,
** So your'e going to be married, ech, Tra
cy, my boy,” said Lee, as we sat in front of
the bright fire. ¢Well, you can’t do better.
A bachelor, at best, is a mere fraction of so-
ciety !”
I started up,.annoyed beyond all endu-
rance.
“ For mercy’s sake, dear Lee, do tell me
where you picked up that ridiculous re-
port !”
¢ Ridiculous report | that's pretty cool,
upon my honor,” exclaimed Lee.
“ Now, Mr. Golde,’ said Mary, laughing.
*‘don’t deny the sott impeachment. I am
sure you would enjoy a quiet home of your
own better than that noisy hotel. There is
no charm against a sad heart like domestic
bliss 1”
There was a radiant softness in her own
tender eyes as she spoke, that penetrated
me with the sudden conviction that I had
been exceedingly foolish to remain single all
these years.
¢ Do confess,” she added gaily.
“But I have nothing on earth to con-
fess |” 3
¢ Nonsense,” said Mary, holding up a
pretty, warning finger. “What were you
buying at D’Artier’s this very morning ¥’
T turned scarlet ; here was that everlast
ing wedding cake again.
Fortunately my inquisition was termina t-
ed for a moment by the entrance of Lee's
sister-in-law, looking lovelier than 1 had
ever seen her before, a little pale, perhaps,
and her silky eye lashes heavy with what I
could almost have fancied recent tears, were
it not that she seemed in extravagant gay
spirits. The soft flushes of color came and
went across her cheeks, and her earol lips
were dimpled with the brightest smiles, yet
all the time IT could not divest myself of the
odd impression that she was really to melt |.
into an April shower of tears at any mo-
ment.
She lightly tendered me her congratulas
tions upon the approaching “happy event,”
holding out a small snowy hand loaded with
sparkling rings as she did so.
* You speak in riddles, Miss Nettie:
“Don’t pretend that you have not the
key to them,” she said, a little tremulously.
“T cannot comprehend what you mean,”
answered I sturdily. :
She said no more, but sat quietly down,
shading her eyes with her hand, as though
the fire dazzled them. Mrs, Worcester,
however, still pursued the obnoxious topic.
“Then how do you explain the wedding
cake at D’Artier’s ¢’
‘Is that the only testimony on which I
am tried and convicted.of a willful intention
of matrimony 2’
* That is all ;
defence.”
¢ Well, that unlucky mass of white sugar
we are ready to hear your
and dyspepsia was for my brother’s wedding
y
|
dM atc
BELLEFONTE, THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE 6, 1862.
ceremonies, a hundred miles away, I ase
sure you it had not the least connection with
my matrimonial fortunes,’
Nettie looked up with a rare brilliancy
under her long lashes, and an almost invol.
untary smle wreathed her lips. I. took
heart of hope and went bravely on, cheered
by a sudden inspiration.
‘ But I will purchase a bride cake twice
as large, for my own wedding, if Nettie will
consent to be the bride !"
There—I had done it, and in less than
five minutes was an acceptedMover, looking
boldly in the wondrous liquid depths of
those brown, beautiful eyes, A new sensa-
tion—but agreeable, very.
* And now, Tracy,” said Mary mischieys
tously, “I'll tell you a secret ¢ the reason
Nettie cried half the afternoon, and became
so low spirited this evening, was that—?
‘Mary I” remonstrated Nettie, with
cheeks ablaze.
¢* That she heard you were buying a wed-
ding cake I, pursued Mary, putting away
the white fingers with which Nettie vainly
strove to fetter her tell tale lips.
«I'll order another one to morrow,’’ said
I meditatively. *<Ah, T shouldn’t have re-
pined so much at Tom’s commission had 1
known what a sweet little wife it would
bring me I”
* Don’t, Tracy,” said Nettie, hiding her
face on my shoulder.
And then Tom wrote, to know why cn
earth T didn’t come to his hymenial ceremo-
nies. Twrote back that I was obliged to
stay to attend a wedding of my own !
And such a wedding cake as graced the
centre of our banqueting board ! It’s no
use trying to describe its frosted splendors,
bat if any of my readers seriously contem-
plate getting married, Ull send them the re-
ceipt.
THE KING AND THE SOLDIER.
Frederick of Prussia had a great mania:
for enlisting gigantic soldiers into the Roy-
al Guards, and paid an enormous bounty to
his recruiting officers for getting them.—
One day the recraiting sergeant chanced to
espy a hibernian who was at least seven
feet high, he accosted him in English and
proposed that he should enlist. The idea
of military life and a large bounty so delight
ed Patrick that he immediately consen-
ted.
“But,” said the scrgeant, ‘unless you can
speak German, the king will not give you
so much.”
“Oh, be jabers,”” said the lrishman *shure
it’s T'®hat don’t speak a word of Ger-
man.” .
‘But,’ said the sergeant three words will
be sufficient, and these you can learn in a
short time. The king knows every man fn
the Guards. As soonas he sees you, he
he will ride up and ask you how old you are
you will say twenty seven, next how long
have you been in the service, you must re-
ply three weeks, finally if you are provided
with clothes and rations, you must answer
both.
Pat soon learned to pronounce his an-
swers, but never dreamed of learning ques
tions. In three weeks he appeared before
in review.
His Majesty rode up to him. Paddy step-
ped forward with ‘present arms.’
“How old are you 2” said the king.
“Three weeks, said the Irishman.
“How long have you been in the service?’
asked his Majesty.
“Twenty seven years.”
“Am you or.I a fool?” roared the king,
‘Both,’ replied Patrick, who was instant
ly taken to the guard room, but pardoned
by the king after he understood the facts
of the case. :
————e eer
Am 10 168 UNION AND CoMFORT 10 Ri-
BELLION.--A letter from Washington to the
editor of the Chicago Times, states upon
the authority of an intelligent deserter from
the rebel army, that the Wythesville (Vir~
ginia) Gazelle has been suppressed for pub.
lishing the address of the Democratic mem-
bers of Congress, and the further publica-
tion of the address in the seceded States de-
clared treasonable to the interests of the
Confederate Government as tending to the
restoration of the old Union and the demor-
alization of the rebel army. It is consider-
ed by prominent traitors and members of the
rebel Governinent at Richmond as the most
dangerous attack that has been made upon
the permanercy of their new confederation.
No doubt the Southern leaders regard the
address in question with the same holy hor
ror as the Abolitionists, because it is a pow-
erful and unanswerable plea in favor of the
Constitution as it is and the Union as it
was. Both extremes are opposed to the
Constitution and the Union, and equally
venomous against the party that insists up-
on their preservation.
While the Tribune and the Rebel leaders
agree in denonncing the Democratic address
as a treasonable document, it is not surpris-
ing-that the journals in the interesf of the
rebel oligarchy are republishing all the
speeches of Lovejoy, Sumner, Wilson and
other Abolition disunionists. Théy daily
furnish aid and comfort to the enemy.
ate
Muggins was passing up street one day
with a friend, when he observed a poor dog
that had been killed lying in the gutter.—
Muggins paused, gazed intently at the de-
funct animal, and at last said: ¢ Here is
another shipwreck ? “¢ Shipwreck ! where 71
*¢There’s a bark that’s lost forever.” His
JACK RINK AND THE YANKEE,
Few communities are more strongly im-
bued witha passion for horse racing than
the good people of Natchez. In New York
folks talk 'soger’ and ‘engine,’ in Paris
they talk horse. They believe in quadrn-
peds, and nothing else. To own the fasts
est horse in Natches, is to enjoy the fee
simple of an honor 1n comparison with
which a member of Congress sinks into
nothingness.
During one October the ‘fall meeting’
took place, and led to more than the usual
amount of excitement and brandy cocktails.
The last race of the last day was a sort of
a free fight open to every horse that had
never won a race ; purse $500, entrance fee
$25. ;
Among those who proposed to go in, was
a Yankee pedlar, with a sorre! colt, of rath.
er promising proportions. Lie thus address-
ed one of the judges ;
«I say captain, I should like to go in for-
that puss 2’
“With what ?”
“That sorrel colt.”
“Ts he speedy ?”’
“I calculate he ig, or I would not wish to
tisk a load of tin ware on the result.”
‘Do you know the terms 2’
“Like a book ; puss $500, and entrance
fee $25—and there’s the dimes.”
Here Yankee drew out a last century
wallet, and socked up two X’s and a V.—
Among those who witnessed the operation,
was Jack Rink, of the Bellevue, House.—
Jack saw his customer, and immediately
measured him for an entertainment. After
the usual fuss and palaver, the horses were
brought out, saddled and prepared for a
single heat of two miles. There were cight
competitors beside the Yankee, The latter
was a smart sorrel colt, with a very fine
eye, and a lift of the leg that indicated speed
and bottom,
Dring up the horses,” said the judge.
The horses were brought up. The Yan-
kee gathered up the reins and adjusted the
stirrups. While doing this Mr. Rink went
to the rear of the sorrel colt and adjusted a
chesnut burr under his tail. The next mo-
ment the order to go was given, and away
went the nine horses, of all possible ages
and condition.
The Yankee was ahead and kept there.
“Pin ware’ was cvidently pleased the way
things were working, and smiled a smile
tha seemed to say:
“That puss will be mine in less time than
it would take a greased nigger to slide down
a soaped liberty pole.
Poor fellow he had’nt reckoned on the
chesnut burr. Theirritant that Jack had
administered not only mereased the animals
velocity, but his ugliness to do anything
else. As the Yankee approached the judges
stand he undertook to pull up but it was no
go: He might as well have undertook to
stop a thunderbolt with a yard of fog
The Yankee reached the stand—the Yan
kee passed the stand—the Yankee went
down the road. When last seen the Yan-
kee was passing thréugh the adjoining coun
try at a speed that made the people look at
him as at that comet that was to- make its
appearence in the fall of '54. Where the
sorrel gin out it is impossible to say. All
we know is that the Yankee has not been
heard of from that-day to this, while his
wagon load of tin ware still makes one of
the leading attractions in the museum of
Natchez.
A SOLDIER'S BURIAL.—A letter from the
ficld of Shiloh says: On Wednesday even
ing we observed a few men working on the
face of the hill, not far from the boats. —
We turned aside to see and found them en-
gaged in digging a grave for a dead rebel
soldier, who hiad Iain there for some time
wrapped in his blanket. The work was
done with little ceremony, but with decent
propriety. No ribald word was uttered by
anybody, Before he was laid in his lonely
resting place we uncovered his face. It was
ghastly, but neither swollen nor discolored.
He had been rather a good looking youth, of
about - twenty, That solitary one, like
Stern’s solitary prisoner, made a sadder im-
pression than whole hecatombs of slain foes.
Perchance he had been forced into the un
boly service. It may be that a mother .and
sisters were at that moment weeping for
him. Perhaps no human cyc of either
friend or foe rested upon his mortal agon ies
and no hand proffered to his burning lips a
cup of cold water. Ic was an enemy, but
he is not so now, and if a tear dropped bes
side his rude grave, it was not without cause
and I walked away with a deepened impres-
sion of the horrible wickedness of this re-
bellion.
BE —
¢ 0, pray let me have my own way this
time,” said a young officer in one of our
Irish volunteer regiments about going South,
as he attempted to force a4 kiss from his
dear Biddy.
¢ Well” Willie, I suppose I must this once,
but you know that after your return and we
we are married, I shall have a Will of my
own." .
Ell geal
AsovitioN Works.—One of the recently
emancipated slaves was found dying on a
manure pile in Washington, on Friday, and
was taken to the alms house by the police.
etl lesen cn.
IC= “Well John,” said a doctor to a boy
"whose mother he had been attending during
her illness how is your mother 2
companion growled and passed on.
‘She’s dead I thank you; sir.”
AN.
3
THE AMINATED FRYING P
In Ireland a warming pan is called a friar,
Not many years ago, an unscphisticated
girl took service in a hotel in the town of
Poor thing —she had never heard
of a warming pan in her life, though she
regularly confessed toa friar once a year,
It happened on a cold and drizzly night
that a priest took lodging at the Inn. He
had traveled far, and being weary, ritired
at an early hour. Soon after the mistress
of the house called tHe servant girl.
“Betty put the friar into no. 6.”
Up went Betty to the poor priest.
“Your reverence must go up to No, 6. my
misstress says.?’
“How what?” asked he alarmed at be-
ing disturbed.
«Your reverence must go to No. 6.”
There was no help for it, and the Priest
arose, donned a dressing gown and went
into No. 6,
Iu about fifteen minutes the mistress cal
led to Betty.
‘Pat the friar into No, 4.’
Betty said somcthihg about disturbing
his reverence, which her mistress did not
understand. So she told the girl ina sharp
voice to do as she was directed, and she
would always do right. Up went Betty,
and the unhappy priest, despite his angry
protestrations, was obliged to turn out of
No. 6. and go into No. 4. Bata little time
clapsed cre the girl was told to put the friar
into No. 8, and the poor priest, thinking
every body was mad in the house and stur-
dily resolving to quit it the next morning
crept into te damp sheets of No. 8. But
he was to ciijoy no peace there. Betty was
again ordered to put the for into No 3.
and with tears i her eyes she obeyed.
In about an hour the lady concluded to
go to bed herself, and the [riar was ordered
into her room. Wondering what it all
meant, Betty roused the priest, and told
him he must go into No. 11. The monk
crossed himself, counted his beads‘and went
mto No. 11.
1t so happened that the husband of the
landlady was troubled with the green cyed
monster. Going up to bed, therefore be-
fore his wife, his suspicions were confirmed
by sccing between his own sheets a man
sound asleep. To rouse the sleeper, and
kick him into the street, was the work of a
moment, nor was the m’stake explained till
next day when the priest informed the inn-
keeper what outrages had been committed
upon him, and he learned to his amazement
that he had been serving the whole night as
a warming pan.
ee eet 8B eerie ens
The White House Gunboats.
Orpheus C. Kerr, of the Mackerel Brigade
writing from Washington narrates the fol-
lowing incident :
Some months ago, my boy, the General
gave an order to an eastern contractor for a
couple of peculiarly made gun boats for this
service : but happenmg to pass the White
House shortly after saw what he took to be
the models of two just suck gun-boats pro
truding out of onc of the windows. Think
ing that the President had concluded to at-
tend to the matter himself, he immediately
telegraphed to the contractor not to go on
with the job.
Quite recently, the ‘ontractor came here
again, and says he to the General :
Pd like to sce the models of those White
House gun boats.”
The General conducted him towards the
White [touse, my boy, and the two steod
admiring the models which protruded from
the window as usual,
Pretty soon a Western Congressman came
along, and says the contractor to him : —
¢ Can you tell me, sir, whether tho:c mod~
cls of gun-boats up there are on exhibition 27
“Gun-boats I” says the Western chap,
looking up, «“ do you take those things for
gun boats
* Of course,” says the contractor.
Why, you durned fool !” says the Con-
gressman, ‘* The President always sits with
his feet out of the window when he’s at home
and those are the ends of his boots.”
Without another word, my boy, the gen-
eral ard the contractor turned gloomily from
the spot, convinced that they had witnessed
the most terrific feet of the sampaign,
The solar sytem has a large family but only
one sun.
———— rere
17 A good joke occurred about a Con
gresman the other day. A Michigan Col-
oncl was in command of the guard. Citi-
zens were prohibited admittance. Several
came up and asked the corporal to pass
them, saying that they were Congressmen.
The corporal stated the case to the Colonel.
tI hay are Congressmen, are Lb y 2” ask-
ed the Colonel, fiercely.
«So they say, sir.”
* Well, let them pass and go where they
please,” said the Colonel, with a fiendish
smile ; + let them tramp on torpedoes, go
into the magazines, and where there is any
prospect of their being blown to the devil,
for that is the quickest way to end the war.”
ITA quaker lady lately popped the ques:
tion to a fair Quakeress thus:—-
‘Hum—yea, verily Penelope, the Spirit
urgeth and moveth me wonderfully to be-
secch thee to cleave unto me flesh of my
flesh and bone of my bone.”
“Hum, traly Obadiah that thou hast
wisely said; and inasmuch as it isnot good
for man to be alone, I will sojourn with
thee.”
FI
A Little Boy in Winsted Corners was se
verely scalded the other day by spilling a |
tea-pot full of tea down his breast. The Jo-
cal papers speak of the lesson it conveys to
parents, when tea is from one to two dollars
per pound.
HOW UNCLE JAMES GOT ALONG
WITH HIS NEIGHBORS.
Not many years since, a person from the
and of steady habits, strayed into the re-
gion of Prince’s bay and purchased a fine
residence near the water; he was c haracs
teristically austere, penurious and unneigh-
borly ; hus lands were sc sitnated that the
oystermen had to pass across them to reach
their boats, for which he exacted toll from |
each man ; he had control over the water of
the creck, where it was necessary they
should plant them to fat or freshen; for
this privilege each man was made to pay so
much per bushel or forgoe the privilege —
This exacting spirit of the mun soon cxei-
ted the hatred of the oysterm en—they turn
cd the tables on him, and annoyed him in
every way their ingenuity could invent. Oa
returning at night from town he would of-
ten find the draw of the bridge swu
or something the matter with the gate so
that he could not get in. In a word Mr.
Tite Barnacle was finally obliged ‘o sell
out and leave to get rid of his own pettishs
ness and illiberality he had incited to retal
1ation.
This place was purchased by a kindly
old gentlemen whow we shall call. as every
bedy else did, Uuncle James : he had been
long familiar with a seafaring life; and he
knew the character of the men with whom
he had to deal. le was mot long settled in
the place before a delegation of oystermen
waited upon him ; he received them as one
neighbor should another, in a friendly man«
ner. They had called to say that they wisk-
ed to lay their oysters in lus ereek, and
wished to know how much he would charge
them for the privilege.
“I wish to be neighborly, and te have
good neighbors around me,” said Uncle
James, «“ and I shall not disagree with yon ;
plant you oysters there, and welcome, and
give me what you think it worth.”
“ But,” says they, ** we would like to
pass across your land, from your house to
the shore, it is nearer, what shail we pay
you?”
¢ Put the bars up as you go along, and
when you sec the cattle in, drive em out,”
said Uncle James, ¢ that is all I ask.”
They took a dnrk of apple-jack and par
ted. From time to time a bushel of the
finest oysters would be set down at Uncle
James’ door, and he would hardly know
who committed the depredation. The - year
pass.d away, and there was no complaint to
muke on either side. They met for a settle
ment at Uncle James’ house, the apple jack
was brought out, and all took a smile ; af-
ter which the question was again put by the
oysterman, -
** flow much shall we pay you, Uncie
James for the use of the creck 2”
“If it has been of any benefit to you,”
replied the old man, ¢ you can give me what
you can afford.”
One put down ten do'lars, another twen
nearly five
; aside,
ty, some more some less, until
hundred dollars were voluntarily paid, which
was more than double the sum which Tite
Barnacle extorted by menace and meanness
from the same men.
—e er
Nor A Svceess.—A would be wag in Mil
waukie tied a string across the pavement
of a street. intending to trip some unwary
passer by ; but, a while afterwards, having
occasion to go that way himself, forgot all
about his joke, and picked up a broken nose
from the pavement. Shakspeare no doubt
had this fellow propheti ally in view, whe?
he spoke of ¢ the engineer hoised by his
own petard,” and even Scripture alluded to
him mn the advice; © Let him who diggeth a
pit, beware lest himself fall therein,”
- totes
[Z7 A coutraband from Witliamslurg,
who cane to Fortress Monroe with one of
our chaplains, says that befoae our troops
reached Williamsburg, the slaves in the vi-
cinity were told to beware of the ‘horrible
Yankees, who had very small heads, with
front teeth like horses, and were known to
cat human flesh.” Upon being asked if the
slaves believed this, he replied “Dun no
recken not, massa. Dem Yankees has not
got no horns, but fights like de debble I”?
wedi
Dearn or Bric, GENERAL Key. —We re
gret to announce the death of Brig. Gen.
Wm. IL Kiem, which occurred in [arris-
man.
ES EE EE TAR
IZ Years ago Lewis Holt kept a railroad
refreshment stand at the station at Attica,
on the road running west. Ile hid a way
which men of his persuasion have not altos
gether abandoned, of taking the money of
passengers sweeping it into his drawer, and
fumbling after the change till the cars were
off, when the passengers would have to ran
and leave their change. Charlie Dean step.
ped out of the cars there one day took a
| ginger pop, price six cents, laid down g
quarter, which Ilolt dropped into his til},
and went hunting to get out the change.—
Away went the cars, anl Charlie jumped
on without his ch:ngze ; but he had time tn
read the name of Lewis Holt over the door.
and making a note of it, rode on.
Postage was high m those days and was
not required in advance. From Buffalo he
wrote a letter to Lolt—¢ Sell foam at twen-
ty five cents a glass will you 27 Hott paid
10 cents on this letter, and 10 more on une
from Detroit, and 25 on another from St.
Louis, and for tw> yeurs he kept getting
letters from his unknown customer, and
would have got more to this day, but for
the law requiring postage to be paid in ad-
vance, lehad to pay two or three dollars
in postage before the letters ceasad to come,
and as they were always directed ina new
hand writing, he hoped each one was of
more importance than the one before. 1f
he of Attica reads this in the drawer, he
will find for the first time why he was so
punished and by whom, — Harpers Month+
ly.
———— SM .
CouNT For YousseLr.- It was stated a
few days ago by a prominent Republican
and member of the investigating committee,
that during the first year of Mr. Lincoln’
administra.don, the government had been
plundered of a sum of money, equal to the
whole yearly expenditure of Mr, Buchan:
an’s adwnnistrat'on, which was about $62 «
300,000 taking it at this amount, which is
probally smill enough, every man, can cal:
culate how much has been stolen out of hi
own pocket. Takirg the number of inhabi «
tants, both North and South, in the United
States at 31. 000,000, 1t would be just two
dollars ahead for every man, woman and
child, north and south, or in a family of six
the enormous taxes; actually robbed from
the treasury. Did any one ever hear of
such a way of ¢ introduing hone: ty andre-
form in to the administration of our governs
ment ?
sw BRE
A Bere Baxep 10 4 Loar oF Brein.—
There is a Bible, in Lucas county, Ohics
which was once baked in a loaf of bréad. It
now belongs to Mr. Schebolt, a member of
the United Brethren Church, who resides
near Maumee City. Mr. Schebolt is a pa-
tive of Bohemia, and the baked Bible was
originally the property of his grand father,
who was a faithful Protestant Christian. —
During one of the persecutions in Bohemia,
an cdict was passed that every Bible in the
hands of the peasants should be delivered
up to the authorities and destroyed. Vari
ous expedients were resorted to by the
Protestants to preserve their books. Mrs.
Schebolt, grandmother of the jresent owners
placed hers in the centre of a batch of dough
which was réady for the oven, and baked it,
The house was carefully searchtd, but no
Bible was found ; and when the searchers
had departed, and danger was passed, the
Bible was taken uninjured from the leaf. —
It was printed one hundred and fifty years
ago,
el & AED A ae.
Savep ny ms Tesramext.—Mr. David
Salmon. of Bald Eagle, this county, who 1s
a private in the 93d Reg. Pa. Vol, had
narrow escape at the battle of Williamsburg.
He was standing close by Captain Shearer
and William Callahan, when these men fell,
and about the same time was struck on the
side with a picee of shell ov nearly spent
canisfer shot.
missile struck him on the blouse pockets
in that pocket was a copy of the New Testa-
| meat, a small memorandum baok, and a.
3
small paper of sugar. Mr. Salmon fell and
was carried to the hospital in an almost
lifcless condition, but recovered in a few
hours. A blue spot, of the size of a man’s
The contents of his pocket without doubt
burg on the 18th inst., of the typhoid fever.
Gen. Kiem was identified with the military
affairs of the State for the last twenty years
and at the commencement of the rebellion
held the commission of Major General of the
Fifth Division Pennsylvania Militia, as well
as the office of Surveyor General of the State.
077We heard a little boy parodying a
childish rhyme that all will remember of
their youth :
. God wade man,
And man made money,
God made bees,
And bees made honey,
God made the Union
Nice and slick,
In came old Lincoln,
And spoiled it quick !
eee
¢* Impossible is a word only to be found in
the dictionary of fools,” said Napoleon. It
is not intellect that make a man great, so
much as earnest purpose. The men in al]
times who have deeply impressed their char-
acter upon their age have not been so much
men of high intellectual power as men of in-
domnitable will and unceasing industry.
r —————
IZ The rebels talk loudly of beating the
saved his life.— Lock Haven Press.
CriLpreNy PLaYiNG with Snakes. — Lait
Monday three small children belonging to,
David Auble, tenant of Mr. John F. Erwin,
in Hellam township, near Heistand’s mill,
were out playing in a meadow, near Kreutz
Creck. On returning home the cHildben
stated that they had caught snakes and were 3
playing with them. Messrs. Erwin and
Auble hastened Lo the spot, and discovered
and Killed sever copper~heads, five of then:
measuring in length from two to three feet
cach—the other two six or seven feet cach.
None of the children had been harmed. —
York Pennsylvanian.
Lg al
JI is said thata manin a ¢ tight place’
once, upon having his note shaved by a
broker, begged to be allowed to take the
usury instead of the principal. ¥ the tax
bill passes as it is, the publishers had bet-
er let the Government have the newspapers,
if1t will permit them to receive the tax-
es.
hd cose i
177 The Pittsburg Dispatch traly says
‘The most disloyal papers are invariably
Union armies, but latterly it seems the only
thing the can beat is a retreat
those which most vaunt thew loyalty.”
it would be twelve dollars over and above |
Fortunately for him thy.
hand, marks the place where he was struck.