RE N El El silicaintsron Tenn§ of Publication 110/RMS:---111,500ts If paid within throe months ROY If dl►yed el: Diontho, end $2,50 If not paid _witßin the year, These tonne will be rigidly ad hered to. ADVERTISEMENTS end Business Notices insert ed at the nsual rates. and every deseription of JOB PRINTING lu the neatest manner, at tho len'est 'aloes, and with the utuwat tleepateh Hating parehaee4 a large colleetion of typo, we aro pro pared to Wigs the order! of our friends Ittsintss Pinang. R. J. JIOCK!IAN, sUavEron f) CONN' RY A gertß O KI.L.KroPITS, PISMN'A ItILLIAII/1 11. ISLAM -- ATTOLtNBY AT LAW nat. , ra di .e Lek ttfi• Arcade, 'aeon,' floor If= SPI , AI.I.IIITIKHO & BEA V Ell, AITORNETE AT LAW, MEM= L. J. CRAPI•. , '.IIIINBY Al' LAW AND RN:AL PIiTATH AuRNT GAIItPII4T, orreAvifirLn CU , ra /JANIE* M. IRATIKIITI, ATTORNMY AT LAW, .lII.I.SIONT{, rrw.•A ,n Ik. D.nmond, one dour west .f the .ell 4 OS,* 11{WHI.1 IL 'la./v.(11,1n5,, ArruitsEy AT LAW. llKL.Lxvuxrir, 1")..• .up,.,d by tbi, lion Juulo Born a J. 1.1P14.1.111., EURAii;OX 11EN 1.1,a =I pro•ronrd to tvdt all wh ly deolre iii.• , relfc.ionul /ter, te.•4 t0.01t.• ILL llu reAI.It,CP on f - ring Ertel I=l LINN * N 1111.111(11 A 1 I"P,N 1" S \r I.Al$ Yllce 1.••A11.3tr” s r. rt In the, I, 4 rldlng r„, , 4, .lupt, .1 by 11 wt. s, • II a:4 Co Awn) vsr• ACIII11101'VrIlt•, 1 . 110 TO.; It AMC" A 11/011 I:It P.C./Tr PA.A I .14, II daily i I JIM I A SO 1 . p 111 . J S II \It\II A I: r h. lorb 0p10t01..1 k, I 11, 11.4.1 Ai , atiis Itholl•-4.111.1 DR. 114. 1.. POI"l'Ult, Pli I SIC'I4 trA It , . LH': ••• 111,01 Stri 11 0,14 1.•111. • 11 II Old • I to preio.l4•ll4. 1,11. , Ry TO p , ofully nliNrs Illr ipr•ieci 111 hu friell 11 , n.i.l ihx j 011611,1 J. R. MITCIII ELL r4lir9lcl Ad A RI'R,IE4OI It, I,l,lllret, CE.MTItk.. 0 rA Will nit... 4 to profinuinonl calla na linr or ,fnrr, rpopemittAily olroirs hia anrvient in hia frionill arid fAY ptatilie Otfloar nc ti 111.,r la 1.11 ill TOO ran 111011% Stroet ,}t •I MI firi nv s Al V` •• Ate 14 ;IFS A AI.I APIIII it% 111 I (utNEYs Al 1.. Dr. 1f e • It'A Utitc. Itoynold, t•lo t 1 , , u • M Ikon limit [stow 1,0,1 T A,. [.;101 ol7li 111111 In thu prn,ttce •1 1 v. and In , , g.,,• r,rompt ntl, Limo to al' n. to Coutru, *Min Clint,.,and CI, ,rut • oltit". J. R I T DENTIST 01111 It)t,Tit, t r.fitlf IY 1.4 06o• re4c,lorioe „n the S,,,th et 'be Dilttenna Door the C..ert floe.' e • wOl be f0101,1, , nt he, onto , ' ,Pt month rink e the fit , C ..foil,. tiro month whet. h a,llhe evw,t 4 111,. /141111[11‘44 INOUYE., WM F NoLDS h. Co 1 , 41N1 Ren , r pill. of otcll.,No and Yn.n tll3coutio. d I.”,itnn. Is 011 mod pr",...1x plomplry I,itorloit p. t ,d ou t spoulxil Exchnuo in okkatorn ouNe. oon.laully 1.14 e)) fur jute Lop , 114 ronolvee X I 111, , MM ll X . Al.! INT 10.11 ' J T LIAL A 0 .111111 DIRPOI4II' II INIK, EU] alFi9, MeALLISTEIt, II ALE & =1:111 Ltep*site Recut rml (iii Ex.filkrige arid N. Di,,,nnnted -I%torost r ud 11,1 Per..nk ,•' , ,tiono Made, awl rue Cu.!. Ite,uttte lProwl nn the Rail constantly J 11. STOVICIII, 't ET AND COUNSELLOR AT I,AW prohnreio p the' several Courts t ....lty,• All bumped', ilitrUilted to bin, r,l*, I ~altended UI Particular ii.ttoilliOn , 'l,otione, and all Monica promptly re inittcd, eair - treentieulted iu thu Liurtuan an well iu the U. .glieh [angling() Iht• on High , fOrtiterdy ii,cupiud by Jul4e W . dde and DO% Dual, r•o'l If HALM HALE, et UOV, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, 0111.1.V.PONTR, prnin;itly Input/o , w ontrunoil to •I)Iline the buildi eg formerly once lion Jas T (Wu A CARD +. 'jars Htl.o A Mr will attend LO icy "gine" during may gbaonee In Congrnits, end will be se dried by me in the trial of nil °Annus ontrueted Item JANIIIII T HALO Dooomabor 16, 180. W. P. ifAUBEC DitlitlailiT WOOLS/14LS AND ILIATAII D•ALIR IN Drugs, Medicines, Perfumery, Paints, 011 e, Vat Dishes, Dye-Stuff., Toilet.tioaps, Brushes, Hair and Tooth Brushes, Panay and Toilet Artielos, Tramla and Shoulder Brooms Bardan Boca Costomers will find my rt ook oomplote and fresh, and all sold at mixierate prioes. LierParmora and Physicians nm the country Airy vitod to baseline my stook STATESFAL REDUCED. HO TEL, 601 A 618 Markat Street, abovo sixth, PHILADELPEIA, PA a. W HINKLE, Proprietor Twows -41 25 FMB DA r a.. 4 w P mAcnitrius, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEII.I.IIIVONTIC, PA Junco Moomentio hos ammointod with Wro. P filinomonuo, in the lanolin° of Law Pram!. 'Mold businmei int ruined to their corn will receive prompt attoption Thoy will nblond thy aevoral Cuitrui in the lieuntlivi of Centro, Clinton and C1°110614 Olio° on Alleghnny *tree' in the building for. seonpin , lliy Lien k 'W aeon \ 'z' 7 -- The Law of Newspapers, -I Subserlbere who do not give exprone nollee to the (wintry, nre one 'tiered or wishing to non. thine the eutt•ciiptlon 7 If gnimerthere order the divenntiniiante of their po rod fonln, rAn pliAlsvAnr may to tond.them .1, tl all al rrn rave. rtn paid 7 - 'Wee hoc ribere neglect or refune,to take their pet ledicals float the office to which they are at_ rooted, they aro ho it tospensible, till they have !settled-the hill and ordered them to ho discontin 4 If milmoribera remove to other places without infonnieiLthe publialtere, anti the paeorn ate Font to thou' ur direction, they are held reopened tile. RTE 5 - Tgett .4 eZtitriii Cavil derldoti that ref - tieing to take perm from the olthn, or rnietiving and leav ing ihem unmated for, to pitnw /art, evidence of ildentemal fratel I= "They say he is perfect'' , iSulncrable to the shafts of Cupid, do they P' questioned Mary Ellerton or her meft - er, - Inm minor, as they Akre promenading Cheatnut atroet, one fine afternoon last autumn. teed i Mrs, Mercer told me tbat in has sec's jilted by a lady whim he deeply oved , and ever since then he has shunned ironic society. Of course he appears in so ld), : but you know how very distant and old tie is to ladies " — The tat to part of your aSsertion is true ; but I riinni. say. I doubt what Mrs. Mercer rays ahnnt hta bang jetted fiefs niueh too desirable, in every respect, for any woman to trifle with him—much less refuse Why. Mary I ht hew. you re in love w)th Army, With anaatonished look rn rr friend•Y fare. =I lam not awl% ere , ' lary, with a light rotor apt... ‘lll4 over het p; etty face ' I ire it tire riot so t ery fr.m all the 11 I Istro - v 1 v, 0111 , 1 try to get ararddirta art a; 11 him, juar to are if Ip• m as marl.lo art. 1 makes 11.111 • 1.. tw.dn't toM.ir y very ,k‘llA 1 lo the art of .aquetry, yet Air I tete r, beyond pot teach." ,‘J h r es e h llumlied, an 4 her color deep .lled ibis eau An ttnphed A 11.4 lacion or tier )(parr, of attracti on.((,, Arhy vise Mr. Ilar;y l ;,,,,,r, ,11,1L,d, to relm ov.etkkohl. to her I ell t i tIC IT tibe crinE4 thrzett them 3he ,irm•.l to her notolinuion • in Dile itinnif:',4 1 :me, I 'II br•lig 1.11 to my let marble hen rte,l and woman r :Ls ifir, ye: y Gruver ' • 1111 II iilt1 . 11111 , 11(11 AIM(' fur at that v, ry lurcn•arn,l; 11..rry Gruvtr ar t and all crahst.l thew. nt vcr Lilt 3 ,111 .1t9.11, .1 Jo la I Cs Mc, alv 1,1 lulhAMW,,hAtallbafraSM444 you think he heard >uu 1 ' AIM., artci lo Ni,- rt .1 larv, (ottlidittly• duel to,fi,te I v h inku I 1.1111 , 1 ttlook in that Al 111. there was u,, ac neat us tin tt " The guh vontinuml NI) Chestnut et rest a few crpiart s ; anti Ono htitnrating at the Orliff of 11111 1 01 . Iilt11111.L1' 1 11;1 1 1114 lb( eLi , each tontiiimil on Mir, aay home one won& ring if fit r mend wertr. really uncenical, Rut the ntlim Lu,lly 1% avitrg a pfo,Lm her pretty litth head, to conquer, subjugate. and bring to imam ful hit Min vsion a man whose greatest eiiine wan 111 refusing to bow to the caprices the little tyrant Many Ellerton at a spoiled beauty, and, am sorry ,to say, a consummate oorpotte , and I do not intend to make any apology for her, on that score, liOellUMO she does not need any She was a good girl, and beloved by all her fuends Even her driapotnted suit ors liked her : for although she did dirt des perately sometimes, she had never set tier sellout deliberately to gain a man's rake tion, nod then laugh at him, and hold him up to ridicule. rmust aeknowledge, however, that this last enterprise, in whit § hhe is about to en gage, is not allegetheriight,; but then, if his heart made of inerbleA(k l ill not hurt him , so we will be quiet And watch the state of affairs, and qwe shall see w hat we shall see." And now we change the scene. =ME A bidhantly lighted room, tilled with gay ly dressed ladies and their attendant gentle men, proclaims that Mrs. literear receives her friends to night. Enamored couples promenade the spacious rooms, or tread the mazes of the dance, reveling in the delights of the hour. Light, music, youth, beauty, make the intoxicating mixture, which the votaries of pleasure sip with ,eager lips.— There is no such thing as sorrow hero. Iler dark presence would not be tolerated for a moment. Who knows that that beautiful woman, with smiling lip and brow, bears in tier bosom a ''heart bowed down with a weight of woe f" Who knows that yonder calm, self possessed, and agreeable man is on the very brink of ruin 1 Ah ! wo might go from heart to heart in this gay and brill nut assemblage, and with but very few ex• editions, find the touch of 'sorrow or of guilt on all of them. But away with such gloomy thoughts I "Let joy be unconfined." Miss Mary Merv) is pre . sent, looking inure charming than over ; add beside her, with an air of devoted attention most edify ing to this amtuerous circle whom Anne ma nor has initiated in the secret, stands Mr. harry (frovei BILILLZIOMTIL, PA • , ' ` `w Short shettil, MARY ELLERTON ; rAllunT IN Illat OWN TRAP HP CHIS.A MICII.F.DITII 1•&•; ,;,!,,1 of I , •,,g,t31),..1 A , N ERN Ile certainly is very devoted, and Mary cannot rehain trot) casting glances a( In um) over at her friend, every now and then. All her other admirers have retired from the field discomfited and clitagritted —comforting themselves wall the reflection that it will not be long berm Garry Grover will also be the victim of her coquetry. It is undepiably true that " tnisery loves company ;" and it h; also equally true, that men are like the dog in the manger • if they cannot possess a certniti object, they do not want any one else to. Well, aflahs seemed to progress rapidly toward the detiirdd consummation between Mary Ellertnn and Lhe "victim"- At par ties, halls, the opera, at church—wherever, in fart, Miss Mary appeared, there a lso wag her devoted admirer, Harry Grover. Just one month has now passed since Ma ry mule her boast of bringing him to her feet, and idl her blends, with Anne at their heed, areon the the tiptoe of expectation for !Lar ry's dismissal. Mary, however, appears to be in - no Itstrry to lotto hertientive admirer '•What is she going to do I" asked every body They do-not for a moment take into consideration the impoitant fact, that young ladies hays hearts, and susceptible ones,ino, sometimes, Although I have hears! it said, that a woman never knows she has a heart until she has irrevocably lost it Perhaps that is the case with Mary. We will pay her a visit, and try and find out something forcurselves In a small, prettily furnished room. Hits Mary Elleiton. It is twilight : and as she all; by the window, the first mild star of evening . shines out e e ,„the heavens. It is a holy and tenler how"; and her heart feels its intineiwe She sighs, and leaving the win dow. turns and piers the room with uneven stem, liremently she returns to the win dow, and, looking up to the bending arch of blue, again Highs heavily• Ah now she speaks ' What is to be the end of all this ? Ah ' hop very. very foolish I have been' And I I ran blame no one but myself for all thin sore I row and anguish . for, disguise it as I may ' to others. I cannot conceal it from myself that I love Harry drover deeply, truly. How liti/ii do peopld know of the true state of sr ' fairs ' They punk he IM my dupe, my vie tim ' They tlunl i could at any moment dibMISM him with scorn and contempt. And i how vain and trilling le mluit think me ' I know he iltspiLes me : for attentive and de voted as hi: is in public, in prolate Lie treats Ille Willi the IllOSt 'MIRA C 01,111,8 and po I liii M ies , idst. I oh, how I love lido and yt t ' .rfiss M a ry, — said a svryttnt.,,openariat i lit hedr, 1L• (,c 11% 1.1" I in the pnilnr " Sllll . '• . V. Ike 1101%11 lI LfV in, 4 .lare h.! wt.',l ,lw CO h r 1,, all 1,, V. um!. tuout,l) atoHit ticiilo'n of that oan.c When bile lid ered th,• patio', she 'woo an githug, and twit 1),, , ,,tt,5ed as usual, though 6t r ey. 6 suit{, 114 TlCtith luv : fur tht•rc was all V141.`,0011 lilt It ^lit.OUnl•l 1101 III( et Iho mannt r was unusually eOl , l 1111 , 1 for mal • have called." lio haul, 'to bid you good F:llertii In a few days, I am goi .g to leave this city, and very ',reliably will never bee you again " Mary turned pale, and with a great error. rnannipAl to say : •'ls not this very unexpeated 1 "It is," he replied, 'but circumstances make it necessary , for me to do so Before go, I wish to say a few words to you, Miss Eller ton During the past month, I suppose you have been congratulating yourself on the new victim that you have entangled by you r machinations : but allow me to tell you that I am very glad that my marble heart has saved me from the snares of ft flirt ; for you have not yet 'brought Harry Grover to your feet."' I , Vbile speaking these cutting words, ho had risen to his feet, and he now advanced to the door. Ile seemed to be striving against some strong feeling, for his features worked, and his face was deathly pale. Mary, too, had risen. and stood there, cruiM, over• whelined with despair. To be thus 440100, despised, by the man she so avidly loved. Oh' it wiS terrible. this hand was on the knob of the door. A moment inure, and he would he gone, forever perhaps. Iler pride was gone. She only saw the man she loved about to leave her forever. She felt she had done wrong. She would tell him how bit terly she was punished, and then die. She spoke : ''Listen to me a moment," she said, in a strange, hollow voice, that mkde hint look wonderingly at her. "It is true what you say. I did make that boast in a hasty mo ment. Put God knows I am sloplyjoward. sd - to my folly. It was begun in jest, but it has ended in earnest for me, for I love you 0, Barry, I love you. You will at least pity and forgive me r At these, words, her voice faltered, bier whit o face grow paler still, and she would have fallen, had he not sprung forward and caught 'ner in his arms. A strange light ailed his eyes, and he press ed her inanimate form passionately to his breast, lie did more. Ito klasetAer lips again and again, calling her all the fond names he could drink of. She opened her eyes but was not yet fully conscious. 'lle has gone I ho has loft me to die she 'miaowed. "No, my darling. I wlll nover—never leave you. I love you, of ! so much. I ; 0 thought you were trifht with too,*ld wee determined to give you 'lesson. .111td not think I vibtild fall l in lo with kilil, being 'for:warned,' and Ail ie l rit e l , I think you would really love toe. 1 1. tight you were a heartless coquette, ailtd * when I 'found I was becoming attached .''you, I determined to leave this place, for Would not stay to be the dupe of any igman There, darling, do not, weep, I do not mea 'to reproach you, for all is now well betwee us, and !diary Eller ton's ft irtmg days are o tr. Are they not V, Mary r amed her het. from where itOlad been nestling on hip s. .Idetr, and looked in his face. I suppose in that look he saw "oontlrmation strong" future good beha• viour, for he kissed her lain, and altogether behaved very extraraga tly for a man with a "marble heart." Anti thin is all lot iping to tell about tl i ietn. fur 1 think when iffahe come to much an .‘impnitdutg origin," la time for me to mak-_ my exit. r Diptellattifts. _ The Farghttribit ; IA)(Al ITEMS IN THE COUNTRY If a true lover of Natury can sec Books In the runtilsT brooks , . Cl limns in stones, and good to ever) .loin • Si, from force of habit, Can the quick eye o a local r epor tor —wherever he mny be plac• cd, in town or country, detect something worthy of" an item," and upon which his ever ready, ever adroit pencil can dilate, to the fullness Or an, interesting paragraph at least. For has he not, numberless times, when there seemed a pause in the march of great events, made an otherwise stagnant paper pregnant with readable matter, furq i,lied by objects which the mass would have . regarded as barren of interest, till his illu minating pater surrounded it with attrac tions I It is the soul of Ids peculiar sphere to be able to make the dull clogightlul ; and he comes admirably to the ;ascot) when Journalism torus pale at tie dearth ocirn• portant news. J..hn Stylus, a veteran reporter of local news, when be retired to bla little homestead, in ..i. olacure rtllaga, 0 summer, felt the time wear heattly with n . % 18 be dad nom inee to do there in .i prefeamm i al i ,es:y• lie d for local itetni to report ; and GliaPy .11. down 'at his front window, which n. aided a view of the whole dozen hou• s. • f the village, determined to take notes his custom, however insignificant the nip ..t, nt , ; might be. Ile would have found 1.. rn atm, to report, if he had been shut a barn Ile never intenthd his rt porn, t. t„ I tinted, 1,31 the followlng pars graphs 1, the re,ult of one day 'a observations J r.'l ' CA 1 -1 sea Mrs• snout to eress Mr Jenkins' field Inward In, eon' barn. I, sl,c in search of rats or 'bird, t She is a block cat, plump, wtth a long tail, in full bloom. Was the cat wilco erste and di,tinct animal from the first I or .die a degenerate descendant of the lion -- the largest of the cat kind 4 Or did the lion, tiger, and leopard. vet , spring from her ? The rat has the grace and treachery of the devil. When most in earnest, she creeps, like the sat pent, the devil' entered into ; and her hair is phosphoric ! She delights in darkness Why should an animal which possesses such fiendish attributes be petted, or eben tolerated in tbeirvilised household She proves herself the fiend she is, by her inveterate animosity to the dog, who posses. Hes most of the highest attributes of human nature. I deny the justice of using the word dig as an opprobrious epithet; but confess that when the lard ear is thus used, it is singularly felicitous. Mn.s James' cat is in danger Mr. Jenkins' dog sees her. She curls her hack. Ile seizes her. Mrs. cat is dead ! She has given her last kick by the cow barn. The 'Mir will, doubtless, create a sensation in Mrs. James' bosom, and perhaps it may lead to a rupture of the friendly relations between Mrs. James and Mr. Jenkins. Kills widow's cat, and you touch her dearly. The dog is of no breed ; but generally of very good breeding. But cannot say the same of his master, also he would pay an old reporter like me the corn pliment of Watling me yesterday's daily pa per, •" 1111218 F9RAGi:4O - TRISPAS3II9.. - --' Moir Ilan:woes hone, over the way, have sApp.od scratching in his yarW'hoy, ore gathering together about the reAter. wths Vs up N- I Their heads are.' lie (wows. 'Shay are me. dilating a fcray,Mtn qrs. Peek's gardart•-: ) I know4)l ay are ; for, sae I chanticleer leads, and theyl ilovt—oloveln number, wall a few chick n. , What wi4l Mrs. Peck say if she aces tkaim .1 Sho n „,iit a., high tempered woman, and, thought she likes eggs, ; Mass. 1 the hens that lay them. She was never ' - known to have a hen. They have passed 1 through the fence. Now they are a o ...' the,flowers. There goes the twelfth' hen, cackling ae she goes• She must have laid an egg. llon like is suggestive. A hen is like I reporter—she scratches for a living, and sometimes gets corned. Whstdoes she mean by standing on one leg when she is in doubt i A bah can look two ways at once great advantage, denied to human beings! She can likewise look with a ' single eye' to every business. Ilor looking two ways at once is doubtless intended as a compensation for having such a small head. She can al• ways provi a herself A l frginiledthubrella. When it rains, unlike man; who might take a lesson from her, she 'observes a suuable posture, to lot it run otf,unlevs she runs ofl herself. Man should copy, and bend ovtlrin a shower. Mrs. Peck has killed one of the tresspnsaers ! Mrs Peck has killed two more! O Mrs., Peek ! Won't Mr. Hamper be in your hair( 3 She hat; killed one black hen, one white, and one speckled. And now she is throwing the rake at the rooster '— Time and place - quark* past two, near the crooked all* tree. Amts Taios INTOXICITION. -All rip ple trace are ciookeil. That's the, rule.- The apple tree is crooked from stem to stern," IN the sailors say. Few -of them seen' to know how to stand strait ; and it would puzzle anybody to find a 'straiVlimb among them. Every twig Seems contrary. From my youth upward-on rather down ward - I hive often watched the apple tree with melancholy fondness -fondness for the fruit, and ulhtncholy for the form. It in liTigilestirc - ailr Inc tree in Adam'a vineyard My theory is, that this crookedness is a judgment upon the tree for bearing thq ap ple which Tarnishes ono of the means ot` iii ENE toxicatron— eider- atone fence ' Hence also, the drunken look of an apple oroliatd The pear tree is strait enough , but,then tin much perry is made " s -- MORA I. —Mrs, Jumrs aneonscrous of the death of her cat, is milk her cow She is n brindled cave - -'fiZtt Mrs James -and has knobs 012 her horns What do they make the horns ea knobby for? For ornament, to keep thorn from piercing you, or to prevent them from break ing toe points ofl ? Mrs Jives is a pretty woman, and a good milker She has nearly filled her pail full ; for I see the froth. Mrs faires' little girl is watching the process with great interest. She is evidently think ing of her supper Now she has got it. The cow has whisked her tail into her eye She bawls Now firs James shrieks. The cow has givenierrioil pail Of milk, and then kicked it over! This anneal has been called " the saint of the barnyard." If this Is true, then the devil sometimes gets into the Saints. Thus we often see a woman, who is a good wife s rood housekeeper, a geed e erything else, get into one of her unount• sow-. IL^ has done, CLANIIIL9TIVIC Viwt — Nlvavalions gu ala There's Mrs. Balig,a—a good looking wo• man, if she didn't turn her nose so moot' —going over the pasture to see tilts Small. Whatis • that for I Won,hr a hat', she's going to tell her / Must be sernetteng - She hits gone in Now they both conic out. tlu, •tly they look Now llu' have gone behind the hon.. 'I hey have been Owl o five nuuui. Ilrho they come, at last with a hoc Nth , . mull has. go'. ,omething en her apron They are digging a bole near the barn. (rracrous Heaven' they are burying something secretly. Now they separate Mrs Brings is going tom ; and Oki Small goes into the house, crying (Jr, was it only her nose that she was ilping 1 What have they been doing. andlburying 1 Stolen treasures ' Perhaps so. If anything is lust ' the girl' will be bLimed 1 , It wouldn't be the first time, when landladies have stolen, and charged it to tha hired girl they were jealous of, and wanted to turn away. bin. Small has a very pretty servant girl. She gave me a bunch of flowers an longer ago than the other day ; •nd"l gave her some thing—appears to me tt was a lost, turn "P. Ei —Evening.---I have been over and dug up ihe place. It wan nothing but a ca nary bird ! "TIIUNDNE. STomit Demeans. —A thunder storm has just passed ovei! this devoted vil lage. It lasted twenty minutes. The light ning struck is rail-fence, and destroyed one of the rails. Damage, about a shilling. No insurance. " I> I NV11.1.191010 It—THOUGHTS ON IlliCrilTllll.B. —The cal 8 on the Nannyworik road Ave sitist gnno by. Only just goon by. I feel it my duty, as a professional grumbler against Al railroads, to protest against the tardiness of the Nannywonk Railroad. The cars were five minutes behind time ! fs this to be borne Because we sre only a village, are wo to ho moulted by 4 a scornful locomotive and cars, that come by five - min utes behind time I I suppose we am. But tkough my voice may not be heard, I shall have the satisfaction to know that I protest ed against the Nannywonk Railroad, in Neese my private reports. Five minutes ! A great deal might be dune in live minutes ! Somebody might give me fifty thousand dol lars in leas than half that time, flow long All the locomotive Juggerniut dictate ! Last wmdc key killed an oz. Must life yield to machinery But the future must answer. " PRORATE ELOPIEWENT —PROBARIAt - CITILYNNT. — I recollect seeing Mr. Sweetser going over to the depot across the meadow with Mies Brown, dust before the cars left. What has ho to do with Miss Brown at this time of day —and at his time of day? Ile is forty and she is only eighteen, as nigh as I can guess. Mr. Brown, her father, a vary respectable gentleman, with no wife, comes out to this little collection of lonesome hous es only once a week. lle has been gone three days, and hero Sweetser has genotlifff Await his daughter.` It looks very much like an topetsent. was in Iko.vity I'd make a rich case of this.. I should enlarge upon the duty of parents to keep a strict watch over their daughters till they had arrrived it the goal of matrimony, no matter how iidd they were. There is no telling by the ',kooks of a cat fillw far she will lump; and my expo. rience as a reporter tells me, that as far as certainty goes, woman is a far more dubious creature than a eat. A cat won't sersteli if you stroke her back the right way. But woman, often, the more she is caressed, the less she cares for the Laresser. f am nirry to say such bongs atiout women, here' in my private reports in this village, but it does seem to me now-a days, as if the vtry 'deuce had got into the women, and the newspa• pers of the day confirm the judgment. The Loral duns of the country are constantly showing how the women are eloping. mg, walloping and tiollnping ; married or it don't make any difference, and no exception in favor of widows But I can't waste any more time upon this subject, tho' I must say. that when tifr. Brown conies bad:, and finds that his danghter has eloped —as she probably has -with Sweetier, there• will be a now inAhe village, a plat excite• mer.t, and perhaps an indictment against the Nannywonk Railroad I should like to see an excitvent here, and am just the ono to get it up. I long for a good local item. . " fi.oo OF BIRDS --PrN EARLY WINTICiI A llock of birds—lidon't know 'what kind, not being much of an ornithologist, and not bong able to tell a goose from a swan -has just passed over this village on a soutliwaid voyage through the azure fields of-chum• ambient air If I hail been an ornithol ogisCl could not have told what they were without the aid of my reportorial specs, which I 'unfortunately left in my reportorial desk, and I suppose are cribbed by the devil by this tune. Hut as the birds flew south- ward in summer time, I consider it an inch cation of an early, perhaps rigorous winter. I shall therefore get in my coal or wood es soon as I fed able to pay for it, and advise my fellow-villagers to mark the signs of the times and the heavens. '• Ilm; iv Priest). —Mr. Ilenry's hog is in pound at last. 1 - saw the fleld•driver steer ing him along by the tail Well, that hog deserves it, and thin is the most refreshing local item I have had to record for a long hoa—r haat , it from the owner bimsi If .has been' the most troublesome piece of pork in the village—as Lord Bacon, according to Pope, was the meanest. Ile has rooted up mere flower garden% mine in• eluded, than any other ar.imal that wear's bristles still has got under more cartwheels R i l l ;ripped up More horses, and wide him re If a gem, rat e sore Betilliie bean; It well witti , ,it be : , The question arises, if ati , ij i ppoi;, ,s And again are They grunt a good .1 al mud, lil,e women. to me they are an enigma They are verb patient and obsti nate They stand the sty we'', but they are hard to drive What a poser of voice they hare ' I should say that even a lion's couldn't be more than three-hog power. I have sometimes thought, when engaged in niusical reflections, that in the golden era, when min:nee shall have reached her heaven ly h and all the brute creation shall come under the enlightening tuition of man, that as fleas are taught to jump by rule, and seals are learnt to shoulder guns, bears to dance, anti cariary•bieds lei maroh in uniform, the hog's great voice might be brought un der musical subjection, and when well mod ulated dint he might squeak by note, and produce's wonderfel volume of not unpluas ing sounds. But I shall not live to see that u ay. EMI 01. n sue- Lynn so I o PAK. T Fiore goes Old Limping Bob, as they call him, all skin and bone, sickness and weakness, turned out to die on the road.aide, now that he is past the power to work --shuffling along. friendless and alone, and none to speak a kind word to him, pr give him a shelter or a feed of oats Ills day of rendering service is over, and who shall render a service to hunt Yet he TM:a some comfort, nibbling as he hobbles ; he hears the birds sing, snuffs the Powers, enjoys the shade, and drinks the sweet waters of the brdriks anti' mayhay is not so miserable after all, as the poor iepoi ter who pitiee-him_ Por my part, 1 ttflf"lC there should be a public asylum In stituted, as a last refuge on earth, for poor, game-legged old horses and broken down re porters. Then we could ride into the other world together, and,.. proclaim the benefits% Lions of mankind. ' "GHANA 800, Fs:um—Talk of the !lull• day Sports of Old Sperm! Ilere •is one of their chief features, right before me, in Jim liarriaces pasture—or going to be—for here COMM Mn.a Peek's whim bulldog, and I Save noticed his savage looks lately, and soineV4lng strikes me h's is spiting' for a fight, as the saying is ; and he has been sta ring at Narrmon's bull for the last five min gles, -and 1 think he will dare to tackletim. Ile enters Ibe• ciai/ture ; good Go up, little and pay your respects to the big bul ly. Anil, ha ! ho sees you and is coining to meet you half way, Just as 1 expected Ilere is entertainment, and only one *Teets : tor. Nero is food for a thrilling local item. The dog barks. Ile is fearless. The bull makes no noise, but ho is careless, and eyi dently thinks he shall soon make mince meat of his natural foe. Now, which will hire the worst What a chance for betting t on ! Why sluctild they instinctively Ludy 4-4 Ye 000—N , . • each other ? Does the dog want beef ?—• Does a bull know that dogs are so fond of that article of diet 1 It must be so, Sty, lus thou rensonest well. Dr whence the to. rocity with which the dog, failing in hie nip at the bull's nose, whist s round and aeiseq him by the tail .? There lie has him. Iloht hurd! The bull bellows ,lle runs Notkatily across Die pasture. Ile kieks up. Us falls and rolls oder IVliere's the dog? Is ' he smashed 7 No There he is, up again. but no Ipnger it•i attache. Now the bull ristia and rushes at him. That charge wawa grand one, and, oh ' the dog is tossed on 'hose ini evitable horns. lle falls lle atrliggles --. lie is dead Time--fire imputes. Hew proudly now the lordly bull - marches up the hill. I think I could hear him swift if 1 erase near enough. Dot yet, proud buil, thy tine shall come ' Thou shalt be knocked in the head, thy hide trodden on, and thy neat roasted, flied. and stewed, and then deTuttr. ed ignominiously. I woodtrit if eating the beef of the bull has a _tenth/my to make folks toss their heads f'' And such were the fruits 'of iityhts's oaq day's local iternizung in the country. Dry Nuts Why is a gull like a jack oat 1 Iletbautio it goes off after have loaded tt When is a pikiTist's eye kke a cider keg Wheu tt to bunged tip When does a bell know et crything When it t~ trilled. ,Why are our hogtra pal Ocularly relisblo in case of breakage .1 !treatise they are al, way i t on hand with nails What Arn should tobacco chpNera Ago 01 Spithead Why cannot ingh current, run away CIUSC thy are tide waters Who was the Unit woutan tuentiuned in he Bible I Jenny, Sta.' What National body is like 78 1 Tb. Se nate ~St what point do armies generally onterr ule clues ± ,1t the point of the NV* , n What Indic/item a house of-mourning 1 Tbs chimney's weep. (Chimney sweep.) Why can no qiiadruped cuter I garden Because there can never bo mum than Ores feet in a yard. What must %heave be olaculakil num, when we paint our !mutes I line • brqgli with the punter. FLAG OF IAWNIANA - 010:111 OP 798 Pa. t - Itt !die Lou wana Convention on the 4th lost., Mr Flegee oflered a resolution thas ■ committee of three be appointed to report upon the adoption of a flag for the State of I ouv,ist, Mr. Flegee stated that the Pelican flag a{ present in use to reprteent the State, and adopted by the Goweettor in ISIS, had no legal or legi•lltive slLll3tion, and that, in fact, Louisiana neyer,had a nag of her own Ile had read the meaning of the symbol' when adopted by the Governor who design ed it„was this That the [outlier pelican represented the maternal rare and fostering aid of the United States Government, whilst Ilia little fiche-ails represented the Slates.- true that Louisiana madethelymtml gaid, by the ample manner in which she had always fed her young . but if it were true, as lie had readswiliat the big pelican represented the tlir.ted States Government, the sooner we abolish the pelican the better, The resolution was adopted unanimouadj,. LINCOLN DO 'T LUCK TO TALK 'Or 1115 104011 HAIIItIND6Rq,- - 110 Wubing lon Star, of lakt evening, sity 01/,,l .. ,Njiriafternooti the Oregon &demi flown deal upon Preaulent Lincoln for the purpose of paying him their respects. A gentleman of the party remarked that Oregon was a large state, and would soon wield n,powerful influence upon tho slain of (iovernment Uh yea," aaid Mr Uncoil), " its rallies larger than Maryland and Rhoda Island, winch a man can hurry across in a few hours. ' Sonic. one remarked that they " had hear+ ofd man who wan not on in getting woo untiof those States." Mr Lincoln, with a comical twist of Ail face, responded : Gentiouice, if you please we won't sty anything more Olitilp subjcor —and it w LEI " dropped " yy" In Cincinnati, an Irishman became bumf at a tkiirkoY, and bedlce seven or eight has upon his headrAiiiiitalt iluiag him the !oast injury. l'ho'negro, who was perfectly 000lduring the operation, exclaimed " truck away, white inan—ifweinle donl mind dem pebbloa, no how ! nth ! -yah When you tee a gentleman at midnight on the step in front of his house, combing his hair with, the door scraper, you may ,o judge he has been out to an evening party, That was a wise nigger whO, in apeaking of the happiness of married folks, skid Dat ar"pends altogedor how dey enjoy themselves." A wife's farewell to her husband .very niornag —"Buy; bNY•" Tout —" What ails par eye, Joe ?" Joc—" I told S*o,, p • _ a vtolav a The easiest thing Foricilogro to dark. I'. OE! Mt 13 • r 2