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AIN IIII2 11 .2 11; .
T.
toreas of Publication
slums :—51,14 44 If Odd within three months
Sio if Mimed Mx months, end $2 60 if net paid
n Wiese: Th ee* tertus'will lie Heil!) , ed.
'red ter •
movintrissuirrre and Business Netlees leper
et at the Oust rates. and every daeription Of
JOB PRINTING
fiXiCtrrilD In the neatest meaner, et the lowest
prises, end ° with the utmost despatch." vil
prrithal44, • lame collection of type, we ore pre
pared he middy, the order, of our friends
US ItttSfe 111:irtttorp.-
11.. a. iIIOCKMIAN ,
BUIRTITOIL AND CONVEYA
■ILLE/OHM PP.YN'A
n. IFILAIR,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
ti'+MLLSrOYTS, ►A
411se r. tho Ansa., mond floor
0 ■ IVALLIBTIIR
WATCLISTIRIS ac BEAVER,
.411TORNEY8 AT LAW, ___ _
azairoxia,
L. J. CIRANS,
'ATTORNIY AT .LAW AND REAL ESTATE
AGENT
IrLD, CLEAR/RI n Co , r•
tlll - 1111MS X. RANKIN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
witnnwrowea, PIES WA
lAMB, CB Ole Diamond, one door west of the
Mist Whs.
- I<iBTl 111117VJA — CICH AR D,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
11111.1.13FONTK, PEN 'N A
Oies kneranr neoupied LI the fun Jame, Burn
Ado
3,4 t.
SURGEON DENTIST
sr Ltaroart, CZNTRR Co . l'A
is Rol , prepared U. Walt upon all who anaj damra
Gls protcasionat services
!Lama at his raaldainoe on Spring 'Wee
sviLLibd r fOr'so
LINN A arit.stori:
AITgIItSFY'S AT LAW
Ille• 01-tllegnny it) rh., bnibiing
loony fooaupi , d llotaet,MeAlltoter, JI.It, A C,,
U
13=1ZEEI
ritOTOGIR .0118 L •DACI IL/MICE:OTV rf:R,
lakes daily 41,14iept8undnyai from M r r so 5 I
it Y.l K .I.lAh l 4 KT,
La hi. aplandid aralson. A raule Oullding
Ilidtefdat• n'&
PR. G. L. rOTTIi•
SUILUEON
• BELL.KroSir. ra r•
°0.," 11 igl,4'rroot Old ott ) •u,•11.1 leo
Utti:;!• ,. :1C• 11' • hhl:7l•;.g.q;;•:4l"‘tillet"lTL'llrf"Li)
U. IVIIT('11111 , 1.11,„
I' 11 . 1 CIA.• II .1
ry,,sll, • s •Illr I 1 .
wilt gltandl I rribto,l4l , lll• I ~, I' la • L. 1.4r.111.01) 'Ron itt•ir 1,1 . 11,1.34 ..1,1
41. ppbli. , Ilfloa In Al ii.• II 1 , , 'ar affil 1., on
Spring It, ,• ?di ✓ (I
dia V VIT. ou t. r . 1,, • i I X 1 , 0,11
s Hell, do .11,1•11ANDEINI,
4A l , P 1( \ I Y 1 I I .111 ,
=
olds /toy nnitl• Arc Ida 01•10
Ire C M Mil. II ha., :tomocnitud C T mite,
with him in thn pranit , • of law and 'bay .11
p r ltr , • nu !Jr: .
, 4nlJ
•-•nanc•
k.
.1. O. \I 11,41..il
RESIDENT aliwrisr
etrt.scorre, r W.lll 0, CO P
or.. sod reeidenes On the North Nast Co.lr
Rails Diamond neer the Court House
nr wt. b. loom' at ht. othee except two weekl
setseh month, eoenrnoneing on iho firet Monday Or
the landitho• her, h ea! he ea/a lilltog pn,fe.nomel
SEP'.
HA MIIKIArta NIQ USE,
C=lll
WM F asyNoLns &Co ,
CICNTRW Cu., rook
DMA or err:binge and - !toter dionfm,re.4 0.4-
1 " 1, m , q♦d o and proceed• promptly reonlited
14toro•t prid on 'podia deponitn Elk In die
e Worn shins sonstantly on hand for Nal. Depon
iti renal V• 111
Y C II X M'LLLINTPT J T CALK
A. 6 CURI
nerpo.ivr• K • rt K,
lILINLIyi. ?do A II A 1.1: ,fc. CO
=1
D•posiU Roos[sod ---41111. of Esobangs Mild Notes
Dissonnted —lnterest Pahl on Spacial Deposits—
Oollsotions Made, an I Proooods ftennittod Prompt.
y —Fixahang• on tho East eons', ntly on hand
J 111.STOVEH,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW
BKILMFONTt, risN'A
Will practice hie professloo fu the several Courts
of Centre County, All business intrusted to Wm
will berfaithlully attended to Particular attention
paid to collections, and all monies promptly re
seitte4. Can be consulted In the Merman as well
es in the English language
011ioe en High mt., formerly oceupled by Judre
a,
psroside m 1 D. O. Ilostl, Esq.
01•11/.111I Y HALL
1111&L$ 4 119Olir,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
• stiLLeroars, Pf.,11.0A.
lir di attempt poneptre to all business entrusted to
Aiselr oats. 0111. to in •ho building farmorly ooeu
/ilk Its Yea. Jan T Hale
OA3St.
Muss Lacs & Ifor will attend co my business
&minus" abuses is Conran!, and will be as
slated ly rse Is bite trial of all esney,p4rusted to
Olen. J.trAor-T...lutst
)somber 15,
N. N. Clignint,
DRUOONT.
11161411POITE, PA.
ININOLINALE AMP RiTAID D
OfOrs MedWinton, Peeittnery, P•lnts, Oh, Val.
.slohoe, Dro•Stulh, %Wet Savo, &whoa, Hair sod
Toots Bnwhee, Vapor sted-Pellet Arthim, Trams!'
Ma Shoulder mimosa 9 1 1$011,_0• 6 4 2 .
Customers will hod ArytrOailowaplete wad fresh,
sad all mid at moderate mime.
.hortiwetwora sod Phyolohuts , 0111 the oountry
are wilted to examine my stook.
•
- BARE ZEDIFCED.
STA,TES UNION HOTEL,
ae• a GOB
PH Mark etlLAD Strut,
ELPAIA, above 40111_, "
G. W. KUM& Pr•priiitor
lwrr :-41 26 rait DAT.
•LAir W r.
ATTURNUO3 AT LAW,
lIIILLIWONTA, PA.
Jaw llausanos hto assowistwi with Wu. P.
11 ID the prawtio• of Law. Prole&
"UMW bagasse trestimi is their can will repo ea
.=tetiebeion. They NW attend the several
611 lie We O,usliea of Notre, Clinton and
Obswiladd,
Ogee us Allogbany at in in t o linildhis for.
nitittornosertnellolt Ltno A 'Wilton,
REPORT OF TaE AUDITORS OF
CENTRE COUNTY FOB Tilt.: Th'Alt. ÜBW
W. W Brown, Eel , Treasurer, In Account wish
Centre County.
• - . Dr.
To amount received Crete Culleutorm
— and other sources, $22.672 62
fly 'meant of Cowinlsidore', order,
lifted. $25,3118 78
' Trensuresi Commie,.lona on 4k:5,-
338 78, 1,280 94
t• Allowance for Postage, Ac 10.00
s26dlb 72
Belem•., due County Tremirer 3,942 12
TIIOSIA S McCOY, SM , Sheriff //I nerount with
Centre county
Dr.
To nnn,uo l'of County order, sltlr, 12
f,a and floes collected, 1218 10
II) boarding U1'640111.111 AA per Llll ren
I=ll
tiered_ $1,683 31
balance due Sheriff, 1.369 69
-We Mrs untie t' A :hot.. eCawra - mantyi
In the Commonwealth of Seamytruth., do cert Ify
!het agreeable to an act of Assembly, we met at
the ComMirsioners offlee ip said County, on Mon
day the seventh day of dentist!. A. D 1861, and
dfd ft, eerie and !ROW the several accounts
required of us h) law, to the beet of our j udgment
and tiltitity tewiumny whereof we ereto apt
our hen& this tenth dar l ofJanuary, A. D.lBlll.
JERICIIIIA *AYES,
JAS WI .I,IAMS, Auditors.
DEL: SCHROCK,
Receipts and Expenditures of Centre
county for the Year A. D . 1860.
We, !bp Comtui,sionore of Centreeousity, egree
&hi tom, an act of Aasetohly, entitled en " Ael IA
only rates and levies." requiring the
(7 ...Mel, of the nave-al Counties of this Com
monwealth to inblith nnnually ■ statement of
the It, eel In ntol lo . mlitures of their respeot
lee C 1.110114, Ito report the following, viz from
the 7th day of January A D 1140, to the 7111
try Of January. A It 11911
RECEIPTS.
Tn n 1111 l not reeeiro d frodn Collectors
rod orlbel noutwn ' $22 G 72 Si
EX PEN 1)1'1'1 REA.
Ity amount f Cointoowh•ot Mg oLJere
lit I.! 25 :I.N 7,1
•• Ito,/ ll' it Hr. nn 7a.-nn
C 11111110101.,6 eta
:414 irt ' 1 216 91
— ...Tallownnen r
Aral etatlol.t.ry IU 00
Aol'l pub, fo v 7 Harp.. Co Auditor $ . 2 00
14...br00k 12 00
•• Jr, Mop, 12 00
fi I.lvo.gaim k to
A',I4ESSI lUi S •
1.1•1 t0•r..... Borough
. Alf a - , .. 10 , 1n01it41
14, I ti(o5 - 1,, .if1:1 Mi
ONINIISSIONI II OFFICE
AI. ..•.1 11sLet I.t oer‘oced aus
Illy Ctrtia , 190 011
. 1 bow , 11E.10,..•.i. 6.r Avis
.irgandi nn , /
13 W.,o%er
hooleitaf) n 1101 , 10 114811 31 58
mire. , 11 hoe 1.. r tofu
Cm nt urn GO 00
COURT HOUSE
An, t p. 1.1 to Lycotnlaig Ilosur•oce C on
piny for Intoning C 11' 29 .53
Nor glom.. for C 11 launp. 1 IS
11 Derr I,r putting goo lo
tamale room 41 50
D Derr for sundries 12 00
•• 10 It 'Pate for repairing
Court House roof 6 67
• ' JOU Yen rger for repair
ing Court Hulse roof 220 73
W B Wolf for 'Honing
Court House root I Hi MI
" Den) It lob for shingles
fbr Coin - House root .14 80
" D. Derr Mr servile se
Janitor 150 00
" D Derr for eluting wood
. • and cleaning privies 1 621
'‘ Bellefonte Ides Company
for Hes for CourtAllouse 100 70
J, If Creep for cutting
• wood and *ening privies , 7 75
Olusing C. H windoWe 5 60
•• Mending Choi rs 4 50
" (Hallam Moore for elean•
log Court House flues 8 00
.., J. T. Johnston for little 1 50
" Hon Samuel Linn fur •
Chandelier and Clock for
" '" ~,' Conti House 08 00
- "••- 8. Haupt and Co. for twd
otosi blankets 2 50
• . J. F Green fur breaking.
seal for Court House 1 23
.., Wilson & tiro 's for soil
for Court House 100 00
... A Ryan for three stoves
for Court House. 37 05
IMICM
COUNTY JAIL.
~ Thomas MoCoy for bal.
&Doe at het lettrement 474 01
ih m lel Z. Kline for wood
fur Joil 89 37
.. N. flillibleh for work and
materials for Jail 9 92
.. Thor. Malay for board
.iiig prisoner 193 12
•• 0 W. Lambert for plink
tering. do ,at Jait • 600
~ H. B. Trealyniny for re
pairing waterplpeo, de.,
at Jail _
... 6 .
••Oallige Olinger for -hem 19
bale tbr Jail Windows 3 60
, Dr. Potter arildioal *Men
(lo4oo, As, to prbonrwo 8 00
,
.. WllOOO L Bio.'o Or leer
slibe, .24..., at Coen
ly bi d 100 00
.. Bamsol 2110b0100or alas- .
log Jell wladowe 2 00
,22,87! 83
$25 t,1., 7.1
1 / 2 'ol STY Al'orToks
V Vi,•,.) A uoit.,M
•e C , . /11.110110 r 210 00
1 Burke! ices
aliaM2l
Co ( Cy
.1 Jrtolo
~fin, 14 ger,l
CI. rk 0.144 221 .1
1 . Perti
Cltrk n. 1899 .1119 75
J I 1..1 01 - 1
g 100 i 1.0.14 If 00
/ 11 11.1/0/m1 bar retifto
- 1.1 I t 1411itelr•Alt01
...r II 00
IV V II 1 , ..111 1, pt. 11421.1
1.111 1114 011,11 1 / 9 /0 57
11 as Cook for rear/ H .45
A 11 11.11011imot for trill,'
rk tileing usigol/110.11•t.A
I I 2l
11 LI, inplorm for books
Awl At ry 191 9.
4V•I :18
COURTS
CoOm ..f C• 41111/. 1.1!1%
SIT-e@ 14(11 321
(WA nn , 11 . r.“,1113 1 . 111 . Pc; I ,7sJ
Countablion 'wending on
Juries 19 00
J 1. Pmr.iss for serslee
. Tip.La% u 05 46
$,7'7.1 151
$1163 131
181113 P 2
BELLEFONTE, CENTRE CNN'
COUNTY PRINTING.
J t AJ. J Briabin for
County ■nd extra printing 102 50
'• .1 ti, Kurtz for printing
Allem books for 1860.61 65 00
tieely A Barnhart fur pub•
itching Co statement 27 00
" Fred Kurtz for publish.
log County statement 27 00
Kurtz A Storor for pub-
Baiting Co statellanut 27 0 ,
Fred Kurtz fur advertls.
log • 1 60
Kurtz A Stet or for od var
lining appeals, printing
circulars ■nd putabhing
• two proclamations 62 50
" m Seely k Barnhart for pub
Halting two proclamations 66 00
PREMIUNI9 ON SCALPS.
For scalps of fovea, wild
oats, panthers, ko. 254 65
$323 Ml 2
PUBLIC GROUNDS
C. Scrimshaw (or cam.
--VII 80.
4. Stes Pars ons (or strains
trees In C H yard 8 00
Patrick Hans (or work on
Hausa Yard 380
Court
k Umbel) Brown for work
on grounds 1 60
MoDermot L McCafferty
"'
for sundries ft B 7
1 'MeDermot for euttlng
stone for coal house 2 25
INQUISITIONS ON DEAD BODIES
Ww G. Welch for an in
quisition on a donut body
— TT las
LOANS AND INTEREST (1241
tiao W Tate Intereat on •‘ I
County orders • • 216 08
11 Kaufman interest on
note 27 00
•• John Noßride interest on
County order 76 4(
111 C Humes Intereit on
County order 35 00
Blair & Hoffman assignee
for money Melted Coyle 398 50
lfin
" Blair d lioan OW
for money loaned CO y g 3 51
" J D Turner interest' on
Tate order 2 60
i
" J De °berms n for wary
loaned County 500 00
ii Dr E Green for Interest
on County order 7 39
" Mrs it 11, Wilson inters
eat on money nailed Co 64 96
.1, 8 Parsons interest on
County order I 20
" Gee Livingston interest
on County order and note 16 41
" . Jeoob Bumgart Internet.
on County order and note 181 10
•• Jtseoh Puttsgrore interest
to evunts order and note 11 00
" • M•ttbit 0 Pattemon in.
serest on money loaned On. MI 00
•• M Waddle interest on v
Bounty order 114 72
.. lien James hint interest
Ils county order.
~ Wm. Boggs fur money
loaned county 90 00
• 8 C hums & Itrn in- -..
terest on Tate order sievvitl 00
OZO
EMEI
Sae!
ROAD VIEWS
' John M li•rtnhart for
rood views In Boggs Twp 23 00
A M El,let for road dews 27 06
• Jacob 1V osier for road
f views in Liberty 600
Henry Moyer for road
views In Miles 8 00
Henry Dnpp (or road slew
In Curtin 7 00
John Irvin for stewlni
bridge at/Brech Creek 10 00
Daniel Kmlinos for toad
view In Liberty 8 00
' A Ntedariok et ■I view
ing MoCell road 18 75
' Juo T Hoover viewing
rood from Mmhannon to
Xylorlown 71 75
J a Irvin of al mad
views, 8 00
EEO
BM
$lB7 60
CONSTABLES RETURNS
Como.lv es for return/1 to
o Ant not mileage 322 02
$132 02
kLEGTrONS. )
Electiou officers, return
judges, constables and u•
seasons for putting up list
of maims sad attending
Woollons SI 301 361
•• Rankle and Shoemaker
Clerks to return judges 12 00
0 Kukines Congressional
return judge 11 10
21,324 986
-
MISCELLANEOUS.,
" Isaac luntingOln beJance
due at lut eettJement $7,788 57
" Jesse L Test otationery
and ofiloe repairs 314 0 50
• " Jno. T Hoover Ttauurer
Agricultural, tincloly 100, 00
.. J.e. D. Turner water tax
on aonnty buildings 22 60
" Suit COMlllllllliOneri vs.
Worth Twp. overseen "4 90
. M P Orosthwaite esti
mating ad rectum docket 5 0
Ira 0 Mitchell 'Wiling
amount of Piothonotary'-
and Register . 2 000
II P Teeslyulny for run
ning lines between Raines
and Miles township 168 25
" II P Tresiyulny for run•
nine lines . f kurguson 6
Patton 87 60
" 11. P. Tree:yuln• for run
-442ng Huse 'of Marlon and
Bows rd 54 00
" Bellefonte boro' on 'Don't
-John
1000 00
" Wier Atite 1419886
' Asylum) for keeping 1;u
-' bath,' • 431 50
" John former bill furnish
ed oonoty 6 44
" J. W.,Realsl, mud can't
f Proth'y and Register
4 9 41)
" Eastern Penitentiary for
- - triellthgeonvfote , .., 48
• 81
'. Peon's Railroad bill for
freight 11 59
" John Roes for reward on
Sherman and Rudy 74 00
Feb. 14th 18111.:4t
THE lINION
MUST AN I) 811 A L L BB • PRESERVED,
And so everybody ought to "rese r ve their
health In this cold weather, by plat to •- .
A. STERNIIERG
al the Aga of the Red Ynag, apor pvingstan't
,Book Store, apd provide theins4l,6llth suits of
trartnelothlog,'et • trifling expense, °tomtits
selling at erupt .le✓y. Xeit Jbibeta, Unitereleth-
Ing. ke, Ao.. Am, cheaper than stir.
Bellefonte, Feb. 14th, 1801• -Vol. 0: No. 6.
A-4'lo and splendid 'issorindent of Val
entines are Pit LA* 900•11 at 14rips
torr'e Beek Biol.*.
v, PEN .; neRSDA FgRRUARY 28, 1861.
The LAW of SAM.Porg.
I Subscribers who da not eye expresa nitlce
to the cotrary are considered *tithing to con
tinue the Subscription
2 If subscribers order the scontlnuweeet of
their n040(110%15 the rwthfrtheitpur‘ &manna to
oend Om* scald all orrearugsitors paid •
3 If subscribers nagfect or *qfus• to take that
periodicals front the nlp•e to .n 44 they are di
rected, they are held responeibNi. till the• bare
•tiled the bill and ordered them to two disoontle.
tied
4 ff subvaribers.removelo nther planes without
Informing the publishers, ■nd the pertain are sent
to their Airliner direction, they are held responal
hle.
5 The court• have decided that refnaing to
tat e papers from the Milos. or inntacrring end leav
ing them uncoiled for, iaprsmaliractio evidence of
Intentional freed
1458 50
Diversions of Doestiekt
THE ITALIAN OPERA DIRECTIONS
HOW To DO IT.
$254 6.5
" Philander Pnestlcks. (tithe New York
here and now to put on record his entire and
perfect abhorrence and detestation of that
imported nuisance denominated the opera.
The said Down:kg, of the first part, does
avow and declare that, according to the best
of his knowledge and belier there exists on
the side of the managers, singers chorus'
murderers, tn'l all other persons connected
with the Italian Opera companies, of the said
second part, a conspiracy' to disturb the
peace of mind, to corrupt understanding,
and to dtbrell the morals of him, the said
party of the first part, by representations
upon the Stage, by the aforementioned partten
of the second part, of divers and sundry
strange. unquiet, and improbable actions,
manocuvers. and fantastical antler, under the
false and delusive pretenite that such thing&
hare been dune, or could be done, or might,
by some stretch of imagination, be supposed
possible to be done, under similar circum
stances, in Jest life, by human beings of
sound minds and anstultified intellects, to
the great disquiet and image of the said
party of the first part, the complainant
hereof.
$47 93
In 9
, And the said partruf thelrat'Vart further
'charges, alleges, and makes complaint, that
the said diabolical paittee of the aforesaid
infernal second unbearable part, have at va
rious times and Nelsons appeared helm, Lire
said insured party of sir em,s, s L artiog first
maltreated part, end attempt to impost on
him as music, and as acting, certain hideous
1 yells, vociferation*, halloos, whoops,screarns
, 1 squalls, 'whines, squeals, screeches, and
Is melts ; and also, innumerable walks, leers,
I
shrugs, contortions, twisting'. writhing',
waving of the Irma, rising on the toes,
clampinge of the hands, and various other
countless and indescribable vermicular wrig
- piing,. And the said party of the first part
avers, deposes, and swears, that howling is
not music, nor is spasmodic squirming. act
ing; else would a screech owl excel Jenny
Lind. and an angle worm with his tail pinch
ed off be a better actor than Garrick.
I ,• And the ,njured party of the Brat part
Prays, that the offending porde' df the sec
ond part be comprehended as vagrom men,
land duly dealt with ingeanner following ; to
1 a it, namely: viz - N - H , thus: That the
, manager be crucifl.d the tenors drawn by
wild horses. the Lassos burnt alive, the mi
-1
his donna banished to Cairo. Illinois and all
the chorus singers cut up into German sae
' sages, end ent4 at retail at dm standard price
of four its per pound avoirdupois —the
proceeds t l devoted to the purchase of
pitch, :at, turpentine camphene, and burning
fluid. with which to raise. a conflagration
that shall burn to impalpable ashes every
house in America heretofore desecrated to
the monstrous absurdities of the Italian Op•
era. And the said party of the first part
will ever pray for the repose of the souls of
the said parties of the second part. although
the said party of the Brat part doesn't think
such prayers will be of the slightest use, for
it is the conscientious opinion of the afore.
mentioned party of the first part, that thques
no use in having a Tophet If steep body im
plicated in the manifold crimes of the opera
doesn't ket the full benefit of said Tophet
afutinnentiened. • ' .
There, when I send that,docutient to the
proper authorities. I flatter lapel( thatfiteri
will he a sensation somewhere. I like music ,
dud I ilk° acting, neither of which have
anything to do with the opera. I once knew
an old gentleman, of We colored persuasion,
who'was so full of music that he said his
prayers to the tune of Dizey, folhiwing,;the
petition with his voice as it ascended, nail
the Amen was two octaves and a half higher
than the first line of the prayer. Its oonidn't
eirlifis ... .digairwkbWilmatinri time on his
tee; with the ham Roe; and 'swallowing a
potato every twonty foCrbare. , When the
ebony gentleman whistled, he would roll out
his lower lip till it Inifig down to his breast
pib, and pour forth a stream of music that
bad more melody to the foot than all . the
noise blown out of any flute that ever had a
bole in it. And that 'old fellow had more
genuine music in his leathery . carcass than
you could squeeze, with a hydraulic' press,
out of all the operas ever written. ' However,
as I did not originally intend to say anything
about this person. I will return to tbe'Opers.
Contrary to nay registered vows on that
detested subject, I have been inveigled into
visaing the Acadeturef Husk'; I neeltiartt
ly remark that lovely women did it—that a
combination of crinoline and feroaleAd, Ine
from the paths of the lefititgOto filfez, o.,un
a l
induced alb to enter thitt pleats( ' whence a i I
the' proprietieti of the drama are boa:abed
BM
$7,1911 90
$4,836 68
the Opera !those. , I ,hope that particular
fragtnent of our feminine populalion wb,o did
it may rtpent of her Moe. come to twin re
inorseful tears, and ask my gracious pardon,
but 1 have my doubts.
However, I watched the performance
closely. with a view to business ; pad am
now prepared to tell all about the art of op•
critic performing. I learned the whole
trick, and it's very simple; in fact, so simple
that. I wonde'r people flon't do their own
opera, and so save their money. Any girl
with a good olueal Is it prima donna ; any
mwho could got a living crying "clams"
is a tenor; and a hard cold qualifies the
most unmusical individual in the world to
do the basso business.
LESSONS TO A LADY ABOUT TO McColl' A PRIMA
L. 'ISeNN4:
Have various screams ind screeches pre
pareaLeasorted siaeit,with a full battery of
ogles, winks, grimaces. When you want
to express Love—of average power—give
languishing looks to your lower, and make •
gurgling noise in your throat, to the accom
paniment of the flute. If your love is
stronger than this, you niusteraise your eye
brows. , ncresuse the gurgle to bassoon dimen
alone. ogle your lover, pretend tb blush,
start, be loth to let him go, when you once
get your hinds on him, put your head close
to his, and shriek in his ear, like a cat with
on her tail: If your love has
got up to ninety four pounds to the square
inch. pull your hair down about your face,
throw your arms about his neck, his waist,
or his knees, accirding to his height‘; hold
him hard : roll your voice about in your
stomach and throat till you can't hold it in
any longer, then shut your eyes, throw back
your face till the back of your head rests on
the small of your back, open your mouth
till the folks in the second circle can see
what you had for dinner, and concentrate
your bursting affection into an overpowering
squeat=as it a baker's dollen of baby loco.
motive engines were all wanting their di utter
at the same instant, and their baehful young
mothers couldn't give them any.
This is tbout all you *ill have' to do , -
except coquetry, in which you need no in
struction. 4 1 ° ou Must, however, learn to
graduate your squeals according to the a
mount of money in theihiiittre. A thousand
dollar house calla for the utmost exertions :
and a well behaved prima donna, who Toeing
to deserve well of the public, will, on such
■n occasion, bunt all her stair laces, tear all
the hooks off her gown, and howl herself
black in the face. If the house is six
five, or four hundred dollars, moderate your
exeitions accordingly and for a very poor
home, of course you haw; a physician's oer•
silicate of illness ready, and do not sing at
all. These blank certificates coot *boot a
dollar and a half a hundred—you can sign
them yourself with the name of your physi•
There are certain other occasions when
you must squeal your best—for instances,
if you are playing In a scene with a new
singer, you must out squeal her, if you burst
the top of your head oil. But you'll soon
•earn all theselittle things.
1=0321112
Your staple 1101$311Hirit grunts and, growth,
with an occasional. prolonged yell. Love.
you express by going on your knees. if the
step Is not too dirty, looking - FropTorrngly
up at the lady. and. growling,. and howling
alternately, till she a3ccepte you —Hate is
signified by clenching the hands, rdmpling
the hair, 4tardpirlit abdUt, and growling la
low down in your stomach as you can.
Revenge is the same. with an extra roll of
the eye, and the drawing of a dagger, and
the raising of the growl four notes, or about
up to your second vest button. Despair,
ditty. without the dagger, and the growl
comts op another button. Jealousy brings
the gitoml up to the middle shirt stud : while
Rage raiaus it, prat to the cravat, and then
taper of into it; loud a bowl as is warrant
ed by the amount of money in the house.
But it is chiefly in the death scenes that
the Men have the advantage of the other
sex. A.min can go down on the stage and
roll over, and squirm about, and writhe and
wriggle, and die in any amount of agony, at
the expense of only about three and six•
pence, while a woman can't go through the
same performance for lees than seventy five
dollars. Yod see a man only soils his stock
ings and a washerwoman makes him all
right the next day while a woman must
soil a satin dress, and saltine wilier trash,—
So the women have to die earehilly, for
economy's sake, white the men enjoy all the
agonies; with gymnastic variations ad hat
um.
The following general directions for in
operatic death have recanted the approtal of
an appreciating public, and will be found
generally effective.
You drink your pawn, or stiak younielf
with your dagger, or are stabbed by your
enemy, as the case ma 'be ; thou, of course,
you have lidng solo to do, as you
You rub your hand* on your stomach/ to
shot* you are in paid i then you growl a
couple of your sweetest 'noted, to signify
that you rather like it ; then you remember
that you an in agony again, and you double
our dais and rub thud in your !mires bard
as you can without pulling your wig off ;
then you grumble a little more or your mu
sic;, then you go down — on one knee, and
pclibrik a pirtnitti, growling your,musio all
the time ; that you straggle to ;
then you he'd ; then you scream then you
grumble ; then ybu squeal : then ) you drnii
lon oho knee .(the other knee thiiik,Une, so
that the wear lind tear will come evenly t-n
itoni'bteeches,iintl One leg last just is long
as the other) ; then you grunt, Ind
and grutnblo at once ; then you square oft
like a boxer ; (hen you strikat out lille a
swimmer, growling. howling, and squealing
all the tune ; then you full down on both
knees, end gtadually settle down on your
back; tbn n you squirm 'ourself to the right
of the stage ;and grunt • then you wriggle
yourself to the left of the stage ■nd howl ;
then you crawl to the tacß of the stage and
yell ; then you roll 'to the front of the stage
and shriek : then you stand up and yell ;
then you fall down and,, , groan ; then you
writhe, and ~quirm, and wriggle all togeth.
er, and finish your music in a terrific shout ;
then you squirm and kick as long as Ue
a udiene.'e apiilandif Than you - mvire-a -final
stuggle, taking care to fall at least so far up
the stage that, as the curtain comes down,
it wivit:t "Amish you► legs ; taioniou chink •
snug of ports•, brush th• dust off your
clothes, and walk in front of the curtain to
answer the call.
That's all there Is of It and you can all
lee there is not the least knowledge of music
recinired tn,do the whole. In fact, the
ten Opera is nothing more or lees than a
bodge podgy of grow Icaqueaks, shiny cloth
en, and indifferent gyinnasoes. When my
bill for the relief of Doesticks pasties Con.
geese, we shall have no more of this sort of
thing.
Senator Benjamin's Farewell to the
Oonstitntional Men of the North.
Sitittior Benjamin concluded his eloquent
farewell to the Senate on Monday at, in the
t )i
following language, addrensed to the Patti
otic men of the North who have e ood by the
Comit itution and maintained the right 3 of all
the Stites :
.'But to yon, noble and generous friends,
Who, born - Miellitour skies, possess hearts
that beat in sympathy with ours ; to you,
who, in our behalf, have bared your breasts
to the fierce beatings of the 'tercel, ant made
walling sacrifice o flife's most glittering pri
zes in your devotion to constitutional libor
ty yen Who hare made onr cause year
cause, and from many of iyhom I no* feel
that I now pert forever, what shall I—can I
say i Naught, I know and feel is needed
for myself. But this I will say for the peo
pie in whose name Ist:4We to-day. Wheth•
er prosperous or adverse fel-it:nee await you,
one priceless treasure is yours, the assur
mice that an entire people honor your names,
and hold them in fateful and affectionate
memory But with still sweeter and more
touching return shall your unselfish devotion
be rewirded, when,irritfter days, the story
of the parent shall be written, when history
shall have palmed her stern sentence on the
erring men who have driven unoflending
brethren from the shelter of their common
home, your name will derive fresh lustre
from the contrast, and when your children
shall hear oft repeated the familiar tale, it
will be with glowing cheek and kindling eye
Their very shouts wall stand •-tip•toe as
tine' Aires are named, and they will glow of
their lineage from men of spirits as getter
ous, and iu patriotism as high hearted, as
ever Illustrated or - adornet the Atritihren
&nate "
A ciirions circumstance has transpired In
Paris. in the course of the investigation ari
sing out of the Patterson trial, which may
compromise the legitimacy of the Count de
Chambord. better known as Henry the
Fifth. The Count's father, the Duke de
Berri, Wes, like Prince Jerome, Married
twice, and troth his wives were living when
the Count was born. In fact, the cases are
I exactly parallel, and the Count is the issue
of the nesend marriage by the- Ifushess de
Berri, *bile Miss Browne, the first wife,
was unacknowledgml. It is no stated that
till register of the marritigt , at the Frtiter
Chapel in London has been tampered with,
no doubt at the suggestion of Louis the
Eighteenth, just in the Fame way that the
entry of the Empress Josephine's marriage
with Napoleon was tampered with, when
' that potentate was anxious to get a divorce
from Rome. Thit discovery cannot fail to
have a serious effect on the state of parties
in France. It will tell, at all events, in fa.
vor of the younger branch of the Bourbons,
represented by the children of Louis P ‘ hil.
ippe. Who knows •but the proceeding hi
the'Pattersoc sake were purposely instituted
for the very object - of bringittg this fact
prominently before - France and flit whale
world 1
Tits Wisconsin Legislature, •" Instilted , l4
such examples of patriotism" as are furn
ished by the States of Aentricky end Mary
land. and " ready at all tinted tel meet fftl•
ternal adtan6iii In the spirit they ere
have, without dissent, instruettuf the judi
ciary committee to revise the portend
libeity lane of the State, ib al to Sake
theca in all things oobform to the CoastUw
tion of the United Stated.
'tarot persons tats drained; *MIS M.
44014 td erase I 'teen stream In Mercer
county, Ilinoie, in,' 'Wei.
A person being asked beer old be wee, en.
ewered be wee in health ; and bow rictt is
ILL ;1y., , .: 1... PO 111 DOI in debt. ' •
.". - .7
Tip st.
VKLUMit 6-NUMftgtl9.
irsim
Camp leetini laoidatit
Our rrndrrs tuay retnembor tlifieiri. Of the,
"soap ng" 01 . 16 signal horn. the story
rune, that when a trilain rrritallatof celeb
rity ,ta It up the harm to butrimbn ifs woir ,
ahipperit to serviccm. eller dinner, tine tLiyt
lie Hew a evong lilaet of soft snap ill 'g rel
the astonkhed liVethren. It is eklso maid Illy
the chronicler of this ”itette," thee the bro
ther was so wroth at this joke (hit hiveried
out al i, "brethren, 'have plunged thiroftgli
many trials and tribulations, but nothhair
hke.this. I have aerved. the tniniatty fad
thirty'yearn, in that time here nefer uttered
a profane word s but 111 be -d d—d to
If --11 if I can't whip the men that soaped
that hbrn
Well. Ih , r, a strong story ; but *e basil
from a t authority, something a Mae
alrongerdh the 'icy'sl to the same inciaents
This is given to us as follows :
&Toe two days aTfir the horn wiping, it
tall, worthy, villainous looking desperado
strolled on the.grunda and leaned against
tree. listening to (he elcquent exhortatiA
repent a hichwirsbeing made by their
er. After a while he Income stitercitsid,
filly effected, and tHl•n tnittng position on
the entioni scot; commenced groaning iu
• the bitterness" or his sorrow. The cler•
gy man wa lked down and endeavored to con•
sole huh. No cons() twin Mho-was too great
a sinner, he Oh. no—there wag per.
don for the vilest. No, lie was too wicked
—there was nn mercy for him.
'•Why, what crime hare you eqplmitted
said the preacher. '•llave you stolen 1"
"Oh, worse than that !"
“IVhat have you by *Lolence tabbed f.:
male tuno:enceut its virtue /”
tt orse than that—oh, worse than that!'
- Murder, i 4 it Igaalord the horrified prel.•
eher.
..{torse then that '•' gtoanee the amipaa
=I
the iicievi i4esrber comthenced 6 pe•Dteg
otr lthi outer garment s.
“Ilerc.-4inttiver
tile '." shouted he, "Auld
my coat—l've Wifoof the fellow that soaped
that horn !if
Mr. Lincoln's Whisked and the Girls.
The testa disp'ased by 31r. Lincolnow 111111‘.
tour to Ilfashingtsm.. hi, trighay the WWI.
questionalils. lie idea of the future heed
of a great nation, the President elect of the
Uniter.: SteteS, one of the great potentate, Mr•
the earth. the rey reseniet lie man of Remelts
licen end Deimairatic institutions—math*
speeches iii which lie alludes to his owl;
whiskers, and amid the terrible cairinethas.
which impend ()Ler the country, on his way
to take possession of the cbiurof Washing
fob, it/ Dung the people stories agent stupid
letters he had received from stupid gii•is he
had never seen , nay, more, calling i pe girl*
upon the stand to bon, and !oscine them be
fore it gaping renal, •113 Orin; hut inifloti
Ing, ti 4. in fact, dieosiiiig People ul ordie
airy dignity and ri thement are accUstoutek
to keep their endearments for those who have
d right to them, sod even to thr se they are
offered only in private. lint our !WY Presi
dent cars the npmen be likes op to bim anik
salute./ them tat you e line tarring very
reedit) urn Leine the graie and decorous pred•
ecessors of the making themselves
epeetaclis_ in this n iirfor.t he vitiga4tll3.ll4l
the multitude. It tt to be hoped that Mr.
Lincoln n 111 not expect to carry the fume
Style of behaviour Illt(1 tile White Musa :
when hen Presitlmt will he still then* the
hanilltertrhief, and summon Whomsoever he
preferS, to offer her a caress I 111 hat is
prolubderl even on the Paris stage as too
groat to-be offered in politic women, the -
cessor of Washington commits ni he pro
greases to the capital, of which he is so Soon
to be the rider.t is AIRO to be hoped there
will be no allusio n the imporant subject
or ND, I,ineolit'a li:skers in the inaugural
address. Such 01111214 may do (or the host
ion of Illinois. but hardly for a min with
ths,weight or a dissolving tmpite on his
shoulders.—Pl. Y. Apres.i.
CONhTAN't 111•11.01.311KNT —The Man wbo
is obliged to earn the necessaries of life and
support his family knows not the unbagipi•
num he prey& for when he &gam wealth
and idleness. To be constantly nay is 'to
he always happy. Pernans *ho have Bud
dehiy acquired wealth, broken tip their sc•
live pursuits, atd begun to lily at their cue.
waste away, and tlhrin a .Very short time.
'thousands would hate bcdn heilfiraila to the
world, and idii.d to the 'Cornmon stook of
happiness, if they kid kieto content *ay.
main in ad hittribler Sphere, and earned every
Mouthful of food that nourished their bodies._
Personl:who are aleitys busy, end go °hoer
fully to their daily flake, are the lust tks—
turgid by the fluctUttioni of business, sod
at night sleep with perfect composure.
How tr was Swann.. —The question ifs*
Mooted in the Club thu other niaht t sts to
"who, was the most industrious suitior,r end ;
met wilts the 10114 wing-curious soldtbm
Btowtt averred that ic was, !Pickens. „
miase . :you know, he writes •Ail The jam/
noted.' " Jams, however. demurred. lip
said that }hewer bail been known to weft*,
'Night and :cloning.' Robinson yawagg i , ,
and tosistbittiiikboth wen Wrong OY,_ipria,, •
is the men be l ow /144point". Dote%
. 100. • •
know the while be erabtlettC: 'Wye
about mite's, he . wrote Ten . aelireo
Year.' '
0
II
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