The Altoona tribune. (Altoona, Pa.) 1856-19??, December 10, 1864, Image 1
& WILLIAMS. A— r" * «r- r ' SSil }jSß| isw ufe. iBp ; > ware, <fec. t:u;*u r:.arK* v of Uit? Ilardwar* *1"i;- ;> rc-.i-ntiy imOer the charge .>ppo4it« Ketaler'i : l U* their stock &rebo» i:i the Harv*ar<* «td Cutlery Auc r*, A/lftW, jCblaelt ,:.f a.i-iv A;.-' r.< !*> lif*-. U<k», LatcW .*k*, *U of wbkb .hi t-jnji--. aiytir.r.i: in the* Hardware 31b* Ai Oil*-, i’amts. Carbon Oil. etc., to their •*■ «f ail these articles at* amaft *j. inn* ih> E BUSINESS, an ah-;-rtm'.ut from which «ay 1 vet hi, ;i.rtKv.* their ftacr. SHEET IKOWAtIE, <1 VTIL LOW-WARE u ;i U:> ; >;> -viid>iU brdd ;c j>n t£>. i AND SPOUTING llm U->!: at\ V GOOJDS. mu u w<jui(l respectfully in- uf Aiu .rr.i a:;d r 'ii.rui-u Si\'zi :-!f E-iot, wfcere ht has 3 WINTER GOODS, ; T .y ; k n>i v-ri-jv. cannot surpassed in .L> much larger than -.‘•j- c:. in toes© Exciting wL'.-re ihej cut get and :»t the Lowest Krica, n> .jr.d wiii avii ,A 3 low. .ifoot« t UtU ulkce. Uewisheii r.rcnuiiag elsewhere, *a-;caic«U which will l;Ui u ■;> GOOlX'vvA erpry^cscription. V.TNTKR VvKAK. i* DRKSS SHOES, ■ I* iT'*W HOOTS AND 3UOKS, ML.VS HALF HO3X *l» Ml£si>’ WOOL UOSK. ND UNBLKACUKD MCSLtK, HAMS AND HEAVY DRILLINGS. S-v.-:i. >.•?€*« *t SXJW&i3S 1.37&L50 2.754p3,aC IUCKUIES. V»r- C.-•.*■ ■. Syrnps, Teas. Ac.‘ •i-wCD k.c>/i ir, a i):v Goodd Store, ,7. A. Si’fUSKLE. DYE COLORS. ‘.‘cto'.ir Kith, iSilli. • < r /•. s r r\ . - C A r>N. D.\r>: hT'tn. >" LOvl <7r"tu . A* \C\ .7/ a) aft j .:■/ iw*. vZ&C&mrJ i'ntyie. NnYr».'it. fjaJGgf&£jM ft ,Vc:>. NV.vnnA lif JWfi’.-to, ,-r jsiix.-.; Gwn!=. Shawls, Scat*, ',.! n- *-.D ■:;?•••■?;. ilaftrFeathers, ■ Cl-ihing, and all .= Ap;arel. ,r W». ,-.f: 0 '>F ' I’KR’ CENT. -®« iLy af would oth- Var;-i;i3 shades CMfi b« ].T--cr*f> U simple anii fr.t. succf«a. Directions id-:- of «ick package, tiv.d firing a perfect ;;.i:.pU-4 to lire CSft otb ■<.;:•■{-nrcLiv-e fiowe £ St*- ty ma& 09 turv-d j*v wi.:l; J ;u i* ; •*■ ►! -UOWK * STLTEXS, , Y.v; Broadway, Borroir. U:* and i!v;iLvr» -i—.erailj, OYES, heet-ircx ware. ..-1 (r .N Ell W (JT'LD EE- rf kajiflj wil! *!w«y» b* ic * A i-JL'Oy i’ ALE. m great Tirifty, r &: SPOUTING . .1 i . '• r T‘-r~'r.;th;Di' rooffi to hi* i.' hand assortment of cop* tn. iThPHEJi WIUTKM- i iid Siheet Iron Ware, TING. &C. H'LD RESPECT hand 0-T:a : •* and to suit the .frv. il] irlVat-low priees. en reasou* - - - hsr.i"- ft-ck of Tin and Sfm*' ■ -C rf{; :!- b for cnlioarypttrpo*^ - ■ f cf £-Ale in Blair county SACSAGE SUFFER, - 0 otily to Li-/ sees to be apprecii, i by fvpyr .butcher ortho** clyajaud to putting up spotmse t/yl painted and ptrt tip y-.rci=. 14,18&M>7 ASSOCIATION'. PaitA-DELPItIA, PA. ir-as, &minai, Crinary and B«x«a* i ICY:- treatment—in iU-porta 1 l*y nmil in sealed i-Aj-yi*, AddrtAs. Dr. J. SKH*LISI o Nv,2 ScatL NisU) L-S OS. 1 f'Z, ANP^, j.iti;tv. and each packHf x. J and f-r sale low bv _ .! EKITCHET. NT GOOD COFFEE, :■' < . Syrup, sod Sag***. naxcHPyS- ACKERS! A fresh *wp ji.'. iii. jui*. rrcfriyrd PttlTCgKT’g CREAM CHEESE A 7 iKITCHti* foe foqnd * LACG^|^i% JIoCi?L T M & DEKX. VOL 9 liter a hearty shakirm of hands had four weeks appeared so short, he was to her far her kindness to dirt, and another and another, in he two friends seperatedf one "oiu* lie had become acquainted with all ' him : that. his father and mother; quick succession, until all was , 0 ) lot<s | and the other to his the belles and beauties of L., but were both dead, his only sister mar-; smooth and level, and lornr before nude's Jiub’-eßri'drt'-' to take leave he could coihpare none of them to Tied and gone off, and he had no night the Yankee was ready to re ',f his pretty ooiisin Minnie. And. Minnie. In fact. Mr. Horace was one to care for him; how he had same his journey, kind reader, while he is hurrvhii'on, in love, and on this afternoon, he entered the army as lieutenant, but. “There, said Uriah, as.he hand .et us take a hastv Man. e ut the was particularly animated an<l smil- ■ had become a colonel. Only three ;.ed him the five dollars, “there is the lei-'On who has beer The subject of iim. for had not Minnie darned months before he was wounded, best spent five dollars that I ever 'he'auove conversation* ’ tllree sets with him the night before. ' had met Frank Gibson (who had | paid for work on my farm. \V on t ’• Mbnde wa- the onlv child of the when so mane others soiiirht Wri— : also, entered the army) made him j you take another drink ot cider.— Heboid widower. Judoe Bright.— And he thou-ht how toirii.dy jeal-! his cor-tUank, how he loved Minnie jA ou are entirely I have She had iu<r reached her ebdiieenth oils he had made the handsome Dr. ■ and hud been refused. I hen frank I learned something ot you. '■ear and was beautiful us'a poet's Hart, and he eoiih! searcelv refrain reminded him of the .conversation j 1 erhaps some persons who read Iream. How levelv shfi locked as from laughing aloud. ' they had on the evening of his at-| this may learn something-- earn she stood at the window wabu- the After a m.,-t elaborate toilet he i rival m L., and coutessed that he . how to get nd of some ot the boul arrival’ of her somewhat tard v'Aou- .I descended to the parlor, where he had repeated to Minnie all he said j dors that encumber the surface, and -in’ She was-Ta her below the found Aim nie seated at the piano to hum. j which are often blasted and broken medium height but most beainifullv ■ singimr '1 wonder if lie loves me.’ , Ami Minnie, said,— ; | jat a much, greater expense than tt firmed • h.w dafk brown enris were : 'Arevou readv for your ride. Miss -Horace. 1 entreat you, it' that would require to bury them where ~;„,-iod‘v mi shed back from a brow ! Minnie V he inquired. ! conversation was the cause qt your they he, entirely out ot sight, of the purest white : her eyes were f ; Yes. ready ; and waiting.’ she re- j disliking me, forgive me and forget dark brown, butiiow were complete- ydied ; -Toni lias hud the buggy at i it, •i ills’. ■ ? i : rl.e iloor foi—aue time ' ' -Need we add, kind reader, that ;v veiled • L*v her mug. uaiv lasues. rue uouj ioi a* *iue uu.e. .■ ■ „ ~ . ,* . , ’ . ■nd her mouth was v pmA- Mw i ‘Then tliero is nothin-.' to detain : all was forgiven r And, a tew weeks (U j " - ! Vl s. ]am sorrvl kept voii.waitiiur.’ later, there was a quiet wedding at " -Thero lie i? ; now,' .sue jovfui'i v ! he added, in an ap-dogetieal tone : i -Judge Bright'/, and Hbrace Grant -xelaimcd • Wiiv. ’ Frank, % what 1 and, handing her into the buggy. : re-entered the army with renewed made vou'stav so lon-' ‘i"l. thoughtl they wen- soon dying along 1 ' the { zeal and energy,.tor ho has a loving vou were -fmv ofTwithout even I stivers of L- envied by all jhe beau*; and patriotic wife at home now, savitK' rfoofl-bved '' mind belles of the place. ' : watching Ins career, and he is de ‘.yj' you .didn't' be replied ; *voti ■ -What a beautiful little town this I tenniued she shall never have a know'l could apt do unit." But Ij is Miss Minnie ‘.'l don't know when d: cause to bid eh tor his name. was detained somewhat by Horace ; ha\ e eiij-n eu my sCii so tv ell as I hav o ; , ••» * Grant of C. You remember hear-j during my •■-in v here. lam at raid i HO W TO QET KID OP A BOCK. iujr me speak Ot him : \\ e "eie | j^ J | l 1 oV-p*j I^ll^v And i Uriah Abell was a Connecticut - ! m to u.i ddi i g: hf u;;f n juv. •»».._ i« .oi.ei oi iiu.i. auuij.. io ,■ - - 1 ■ ■■■ k“ up inv mind to ; one. His tarin, like a great many ts coming here tor me purple. a ; l i .aiH.o. . up my ‘ other Connecticut fafmsNvas full of “‘tcev'foMi.ro’.hdon ''of; "if’von are enjoying yourself, Mr. . stones, ahd. he delighted to dear Tbniilf ' \nd now ' Mimde.'if vou ! Grant.’ replied she, with an almostl them qut ot tne way ot the plow.-- ti'r Jirt him vbu are -mt lh-> -drl I! beseeehino- iook. d don't see why !He built a great many rods or sub- Le mmJry-'ac- in this little vll-1 «i - ***** £ - JJ-J "'i * ■ .i)!,]!’' j M . --■ "t A ‘iiniocl* won 1(1 ; 3iu\'-coclc, Uo ‘Wiintcil to rid ot d)onr be unea*v on rnv ueooum jil *•- uuic vvuuiu . i®... - t f ,. Frank,' she <m>iV replici. ‘ ‘DM he ;be impossible-when you were near. ; that. He mould ha\e blown it iianiv, »ut j-a-iy it, my. i -Tl, .„k—ci Mr Flatterer ’ -aid ihiulers. as he ’ had many others, were ; it was within two rods of Mhe siiehathim' 1 I'mcUwu-e it niind tc. ! don't know "w’aut we girls will do. "best roojn” windows, which might siwu atuiu . -L.-.ui a -ic-n ni.uu - ppi timders ’at the same time.' o‘urdmiUhtrLr<mmra’’i v . ‘Will'vou care. MiiinioU he asked, fo b/attempted to haul it out of its oaa in ougLir, are m m... . .e. __ ; , ■ ■ ; !,, e d mie dav. Alter tiring his own ind \-ou ;ou-’n i of burse I will h S and bis neighbor’s oxen, and break mine v He b-A cf>me iuV a r lb--1 ‘You cannot imagine how much I ■ ”kg several chains, Uriah grew uum, _ tie u.ae ja,,. ; wlil-out“vou -i>ihou<'h-I '• wrath v, and declared that “he would nifut time,-now-: Unit vou ure about . uaic. to lo \\ .ikuul vm, aaiiuuui; .. , t i vlt ' Ait* »i; t 1 ,p* 11- 1,,•'UMrnntt (1 Wltii votl iil\V XlNv tO OUC sUinu i leuto!; ,i,b.r few i *« ... «• i nave no. rut amt u 0... i , .., . i ng the ol> it vou 11 find a spade and * i - t ' j x j-i, ’■u-swr-vidi * t vou vidci dtODiX 131 tlu. auuaoon. fi if Af ib k UikiubfUoGt yAMh.OM This propositio.i ™ .nado bp. Uk M I PnU :m, t OK-.l t., be- old mailr mk! du- : scn..,g™ ,vbobadjMt the. came m>.: I tJ, . AO,, i «»«lv. ‘Xo. Mr. Omut,-: ll* f ««!»«« “"° k "0 AiO' , kky^o; , pyy,.:;:Ui ! ;b 1 Horace Grank UVliubt- j *he thought, bis wmity woumled; romM tokouk huii^ d rCg;U ' d l ° l! " I ‘ Vr!f ” n ’ i SdlS "S "VoS-tbrme : and cider tom but I -on't pull inv £ • V-Pd-Jmlm. Bi-ml-t the* iust as I ied pt vou.Vhich is a very ! oxen again at that stone no how ' ’ f ~ ■ ~ ‘c - V-.uullv S.v-t feclin-' I a-sure vou -Don t .want vou should. I into V: M, SoiaMo: "iburf M 2 y ythUU : jyy TUuV ' vha ‘ T f ■A iiave just arm CO mis luteiiioun, mokeU so q.u.iu.... A ~o llrA > \|j. <; rai , t was obli-red i "Yes, that is all I want. I don t ip- replied. -As they au seemed my curiosity, am., mi oel ~, . ' j !,f tv v P an hour's nde care how you do it, but if you fail f.r-M of seeing mo at Puiue I just ■ tiie register. I discoi «-ea 1-un to be , - • , ur^e^ailt } ia ip hour he I don't p*av you .anything, do you naae Uieiii auier. ; ami. continued , Horace Drant.aim »*n ot my Ine-.d . * ; id*four weeks and the ‘ understand"? Verv well,then come h-. .traightenin- mUiself up to his i .John Gram, of whom you- have .had >peiit M wm week, and tm dinnef.*' * greatest'heigh Maud trying to look often heard me speak. _ I rmmedi- re'irncd home*'with f XI at done, a large end of tobac ■Pe, "here : : ately tormed las acquaintance, ami 1 * ™ -eo adjusted, the Akmkee threw oft •Butwhy uul yon ever tiiiuk ol , invited him to-niake-n.y fiuu-se “^ t -- mom ‘ iu2 fie his coat ahH took up the spade. He coining .Here : persist on xiiumHiu- 1 m.me a> long ashe_M. v ca i f j , " ‘ i'gavo at the stone to seekvbieh son, wUo .was one ul those urdeiitfi He accepted nrv mvitanon. an<. wid g * . wav' it would tip the-,, easiest, and impulsive, ami at the same time m- cal! to-day at eleven o cluck. _ k. m i bv and ■ then commenced digging a hole on q lisitive persons, who want-to know > ‘Did you say he was coming to- ; b oui y.ts . In,. U - [o ] ower side, and deep enough to -.I reason for everything. . . . day. papa f How. provoking I .md Mt.m c W bouldpr quite <fut of £gbt. •WAb Frank, the- fact ot it is, sue. turning Jo; tier Amu Hate : 1 had p.....na hm tlmmdTthii In tlirce hours 1 he got out and took imbrn says it is.about time I was j suppose this Adonis will be- expect- : hood to a alld then dug .-jU:iiiL r (lo'.vu in . liio \voncl, and | mo to eutorUiin inidi. '•' rr ww thr ; 5t little more upon one side- Then -tvs that's what 1 never can do un-1 -Ha !ha 1' 'laughed her lather. : with ml it. » . p c l xvellt to 'the wood pile and got a m I get a wife. *o he ordered me! ‘that,will not be very bard, work, 1 ; Untiring eu- : stout stick of wood,.which he plan to pack Up, and gave me a letter ot Uissure you, lor he vil be the iioi. .• “ ; ~ f • . s^v in-' ' ted firmly-with one end at the bot iutroductioii.io his old friend Judge,: ol L. in less than -g week, and I ex-. ugy, » e '’My - delicacies for tom of his hole and the other brac- Bright, Who has. lam told, a re-: peel there will be quite a number ot | anyl prepj : against the rock. Then he urarKaoiy pretty daughter named ; broiceu hearts heture he o-a%es. . i oJ UK .nii H V while in company hegair undermining, and worked Mmme, Who V. ill. Ot course, tail in i - , ' Mr Grim with her AunFixate on an orrafid of mini bepaw the dirt begin.to give, love with luc ;S, First sigiit. _my piaugutyi, mi. r ' n .. v v'-ir-d a hospital in the and found that his rock was resting 1 dia; ha b iLugaed Frank',‘don. t urn. this uiyy gentleman you ueaid the town where thev upon his brace. . How TO BE Chkebful. —A chee^- bc too sure m tnat, tnu fellow, tor .me speak qi. •, , , , j ■ ij.h.h to ja c ;' x tv wounded -Xow,” says he, “I think that I; f u liif e must be a busy one. And a • Minnie Brim.; 1..1, immirers and Anu Miumy, looking up, beheld _• nti . o aetl the char- nill take that rang of j hussy life cannot well be otherwise lovers by .seuivs. a groat deal better the c.ear lut-Aeeniai m.oking giay - > r'n-'to'wn had just arrived.— Uriah, who had been watching] than cheerful. ;Frogs do not croak! looking than you v and i warn you . eyes ol thewisitornxud .jpoiihei . and . y • p t j u , , lt . him ordered out the cider with ain running water. Active minds : in fiiiie lhat s.ic is tiie most acbom- acknowledging ms y.oute 'j 10 ■ V J.’^j^JChiu-lid them needed right good will. He even offered are seldom troubled wifegWiiy I lime rbrt tne world. I entered into conversation _v, ith dim tuidin.,^... ■-• • ’ to'add some doughnuts and cheese, forebodings. They come up^Phly am exceedingly s-.m’’ he continued, ( with such easclaiid graoq that, beiore • t ion- mu. ' eiied t u his While the Yankee was wiping from the stagnant Hepths of a spirit ‘ •Fcaim-v i>e ...-re :i sec now you, -.dinner was _ burnt ‘ Vfo '„„,,o v vhoeked was >-.wav the perspiration and drinking ; unstirred by generous impulses of come on, but am obliged to leave was quite ohgnued. .vanme, .too, iM-'V■ ' ‘ m IL.race Grant, his eider. -Uriah brought his oxen | t he blessed necessities ot honest to-morrow, lum-uing at five o’clock seemed entirely have Jormme . bitted a chain to the j to sh • for Mv- But write and let me know ' that it. was ‘prov.iking h-r her io amu t rf ; aa,m _-1 in., toimei re a d - j ——-g J , Low you ■ Uuod-bye,’said vutortam liiia, and jici* uuher wiis Ull , k T did sav Iwouldn’t pull mvoxeu j seethe vilhaH myourfac^e, hFcxteuliuglds uuuil. tie lighted with . tiie mauuuer in ; they hau hnn mm too,* cause saidTwesteru judge to a prisoner. , •Good-bye'; I will writ© and Jet wluch she treated him. ’ to d’.mge Hi ighr s })bcre, , . : erk .» ‘May it please your tyorsbip, Jre you kmnv'ja time to be first grooms- * * * ‘ r .* . alter six wecks-aitenm e nursing, m , . wfla ; and d Q Wn wen t the plied tbe prisoner,‘that ia a persqm maw; ■u know i always promised, Four weeks had glided swiltiy by qas a ole to go about the house. i, A and \vith it a shovel full of al reflection.’ : - | ~T . you I would,’ said Horace. 1 since Mr. Grout's arrival, and never-it -was hmtold Mmme how grateful boulder, and a snpvei xuu . : i * , , . | . L’i-iK altoona.ikibi nl s / r » r ov. 0 v. or.jr?.i£T')F.s » mv iii i>'iv ui wlrancf,);...- $1 ;■ -r jnnutn, ‘ . xl>Jla tu.‘u uf the tim* T r axi ~r APVL-h-:: = lNr. \ iis.-rru.-n •i:nr—r ~4 . ,*re. (S • r t aro- * •j.,U !iof‘* -»r S'** **r !C> ' ; y-pr. ('iv y • . it -ir "'is • JO »P ;>•, :iv- f ¥ortt£. REMEMBER ME-” G>> ’•'* A I*o v rcm-.-inl.fr m;-. r Oh,; ;i= |.;:ty [llf!* tlllV t.Rh^r l>an.i' i"t ' u ‘. 'Oil WIK-n :• Bv '■ •in-r-rnis.-r in wh'.cj ii'Div rcuini.r'.^:, in- O.: ! 1 Aec t ,J I. V-, 1 r i Qa '.he ihi- Onoi so h.v'U Thilik Of' v.*i»o wove U-Jf n-h-> Le- vy U AiiuniniJ Wh-.n ri *.i^ -On -the K::V 'ip- CT hSs.zii!^ — rcinuin--' Ua 1 ti Then. sh.*:*jM :uti'’.c 'JcaUr.g O'er ihc .v >i : 'I i .-fi 1 0 Llillf then .hcciO Mrains I im-g to Aeg OH I i!.cn ivnict:i!.!..-r my • fclvrt Piscdlnn|. DID SHE FLIRT HIM ? • II lUii.--. Frank ! a inmate, txcuuuiv'i a“ min wd 1-yropomoueu about tvveii ivc, !■.> a viiiiiiu :.iokiu|r hut ex l;w<*.Uomf man who was SjciiiiVliiU ..ist aim witii the greatest Uii’V Si-vi-li Y\Vh\\ in tu V*’.£» ]IUO i* I»1 li, 'Vj!; u ♦- .vtliU ill i i 11. C. DKK A 2 do. 3 do t oTJi » 6' 7 j Hi 1 60 2 po . 2 :.r.--r utL’Uihs. 2i cfin> ,?. > r months, 1 year I ;■,■■ $ 3 IX) $ 5 u* 4 , T 0» 0 «Xt 10 iX * -:-0 V 2 Ot (. lit 111 W H I« 14 oO i'l 0< 33 li<) 40 (» ,r. 10 o< • t " i Umca .r ijnlividnA . nt-i. c' in«?r *ud charged - if ifi'V'-rr n \ y.r. *. Say <- i*i* ibcc siiera— ziRS i.'rv bring thee— [INDEPENDENT IN EVERYTHING.] ALTOONA, PA., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, 1864 UNPLEASANT REMARKS Never tell anybody an unpalata ble truth when it can answer no good purpose. This sort of unnecessary candor is sometimes prompted by malice, sometimes by a mere loose ness of tongue, like that which Jago imputes to Cassio .when asleep. Sydney Smith says, and very Justly, that friendship is frequently made an excuse for unpunishable imperti nence by people who pride them selves in speaking their minds freely. The truth maliciously spoken may be libellous, aud when volunteered in relation to matters with which the utterer has no concern, it is very often unmaul}*. It may be perfectly true, for example, that Airs. Blank is old and corpulent, but that is me body's business but her own, and the man who reminds her of the tact is too candid to be a gentleman. As surely as pleasant tuths kindly meant aud said are a passport to friendship and affection, so surely do bitter ones provoke the enmity and hatred to those whom they are addressed. Ifyouhave a taste for repartee restrain it. It is better to loose a jest than a friend—to miss an opportunity of saying a “good thing” than to .make an enemy. It must be admitted, however, that the self-love of some individ uals is so morbidly sensitive as to render them anything but agreeable companions. They take , offence where none is intended, and apply remarks of the most general charac ter to their own particular eases with great ingenuity. In nine cases out of ten, the abnormal sensitive ness of such people is occasioned by an inward consciousness that they deserve the rebukes which they er roneously suppose you intend to ad j minister. It is hard to say which is j the greater nuisance—to be annoyed j with the impertiuencies of people | who are insultingly candid, or to j have yovir innocent remarks con | strued as insults by whom ,j youJjave no thoughts of offending. what am lub ?” asked a sable youth of his companion, a perfect African-Plato. “And vou don’t knotvnuffin ’bout him ?” 1 “No, uncle Pete.” ‘Why, your education is dreadfully imperfect. Don’t you feel lam in • vour bussum, to be sure ?” The other inserted his hand be neath his waist-coat. “No, I don’t, uncle Pete.” “Ignorant nigger ! It am a strong passion which rends de soul so se- I werelv dat even time itself can’t heal it.” | “Den, uncle Pete, I know who be | in lub.” i “Who am it? r “Dis ole boot of mine.- • Its sole am rent so sewerely, dat Johnson, I de cobler, utterly, refused _to mend I him; and he say dat he is so bad | dat de debble hisself couldn’t heal ’im.” EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. Caxals. —The first canal oh record was one constructed by Ptolemy Philadelphia, for the purpose of opening a commnnicatkm between the Xile and the Tied Sea. The great canal of China, extending a distance of 525 miles, was com menced in the ninth century. Canals were introduced into England by the Romans, who formed one from the river Xyne,. a little below Pe terborough, to the river WithaiU, three mues south of Lincoln; and in 1134, during the reign of Henry 1., a canal was made to effect it June tiou between the Trent and the Witham. The first canal regularly constructed with locks and sluices, was made in 1533, near the city of Exeter. The aggregate length of navi gable canals in England exceeds 2,200 miles. Receipts that Xkveh Fail.—To destroy rats—■catch them one by one, and flatten their heads in a lemon-squeezer. . To kill cockroaches—get a pair of heavy boots, then catch your roaches, put them into a barrel, then get in yourself and dance. To kill bedbugs—chain their hind legs to a tree then goround.in front and make mouths at them. To catch mice—on going to bed put crumbs of dices into your mouth, and lie with it open, and'when a mouse’s whiskers tickle your thi'oat, bite. To prevent dogs from going mad —cut their tails off just behind their ears, Ladies vs. ■ Gesxlemam.t-' Three things a lady cannot do:— 4> Ist, She cannot pass a millinery shop without stopping-. 2d. She cannot see a piece of lace without asking the price. 3rd. She cannot see a baby with out kissing it. A lady of our acquaintance turns the tables on the gentlemen as fol lows— Three things a gentleman cannot do. Ist. He cannot go through the house and shut the door after him. 2nd. He cannot have a shirt made to suit him. 3rd. He can never be satisfied vath the ladies’ fashions. “Sosxy, I don’t see anything about here; —what does your father raise on this land ?” “TVal, he raises hackmatch, grass hoppers, hoptoads, tumble bugs and other wegetables. Yesterday he raised a double breasted. pig ,pen right under the window, and mother raised Cain.” “Mike, why don’t you fire at those ducks boy—don’t you see you hsive a whole flock before your gun?” “I know I have, but’ when I get a good aim at one, tso or three others will swim right betwixt it and me.” Mother MTix.—A stingy hus band threw oft - the blame of the lawlessness of his children in com pany by saying his wife always gives them their own way.’ ‘ ' “Poor things,”-was the prompt reply, Tt’s all I have to give them.” BSl=‘This way, captain !’ shouted an English soldier at Inkermann; T have a prispner.’ ; Well, bring him here.’ * ‘I should like to, but the scoundrel won’t let go.’ centuries ago not pnc iu a hundred wore stockings. Fifty years ago not one boy in a thousand was allowed to run at large at night. Fifty years ago not one girl in a thousand made a waiting Mnaid. of her mother. Wonderful improve* meut, in this wonderful age. tgg,"! know l am a perfect hear in my manner,” said ayouhg farmer to his sweet-heart. “No, indeed* vou are not, John ; you have never bugged me yet. Yon ore more sheep than bear.” ggf* If you wish to appear agree* able in society, says Talleyrand, yob' must consent to he taught rainy things which you know already. i Jf£. ... NO. 37.