The Altoona tribune. (Altoona, Pa.) 1856-19??, August 24, 1864, Image 1

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VOL. 9
SAVE THE PER CENTAGE THE altoona tribune.
U LAJim-.'J Pdr annum,ipajablf invariably iu (1 io
I'TI'INGER i TI’CK, Manufacturers ah i.six-r. duconiinoMi at the- i-xpir,ti..i. ~i ii«. time
Pj < t Wholesale au-i Ketail dealers in Keadjr-madc- , *° r '
‘’ invite the att*ntk..i of I* nuusruratWJ.:
■“ »<*«« to their rtoet. 3 do.
1 7 xtttaLui*: our u*n (roods. They are made ‘ uur ' lDS ’ OT ' e f. * g * * t5O
. ; ear o«a store, m Philadelphia ahny immediate , (8 lines) ..... 40 .» tOO
aW« •««» * re «f S Three •• $ - t-l™ l£ It £ £
• smot'J'i Orer three weeks And le*s than three muniba. 25 cp&u
1~017 TO THE BEST, : per square for «cli insertion.
• l r* v v tt-t thf Ur*«t quantity of Beady-made cloth- ; C month* 6dmh!iv i vear.
•" f Th 1 !8“ Ha«* *r l«« ---$ 150 *:i «*> **s 00
L ‘V W j Oneaqoare 250 4 too
\ll t *i*auT*n. »8 »dT« the per ctnuge put Two •• f .. 40u «J ou 10 00
-,i. mtddlf 1 ~ i ** * 5 *** * ! ’ 5l 12 00
_j w# . „ ur Ciothimr at i r«sqnable percentage s Four 600 10 <*. UOO
~ trt e rus' >{ *■' Cloths. thereby saving the purchaser* j Half a column 10 Oo 14 m. do 00
'! Kthm ' in- r*--rceaU*r which must b« added by thoae , One UOO a& .*» 40 VO
•V , bur ffwa -a-ii'l hxiii* »rll ticaln. We retail oar ' Administrators and Executor* Xbtices ITo
,•,■'1.1,: ti,- .Am- price which rut-rchaaupay ' Merchant* advertising by the year, thr***-*qi nrm,
f ./their* at wMesak. co«*sueutlt those who buy from ! with liberty to change....: T
u-i 'H iheir *’• P ric,f other C.ottuera , Frofeasional or Baeiness CartU,. aot lius-*
Udi 15. r tbein ia city, thereby Clothiers } wuh j»aper. per 5OO
iK*r oi*r»u s* i Coromunications of a politiba? character or indiTidoal
have brsuch Stores in ; aecordinp to the abov*' raten.
. r ™ /IAV t . X'T\ inu VsrrriWK . Adrertisement* not marked with the onzaber of inser-
A>L> tion* desired, will be continued till forbid ho.! c'.iarged
. i <re zood* mnv br bed at lahe ? ame ftgan* at which we ; to the above terms.
• aem here m the <itr. \ ®^ noea * ®°t»cea five cent* per line for owrr in^nion
ifaiiv person i*a* been tohl oc imagines, that Tncfe . Obituary notfoe* exceeding ten a
in Altoona,' l» “ out," let .«ucb person drop rrr^————
Itii. iji, establishment, on Main Strvet, and examine his ;
*i< and prii'v-
Wholesale lloUx?. >'•
br-*.-. 2. Isoi —ff
rpHK undersigned would respectfully in
1. form tii-r c«iarn< of Al«- ha aig) iurroumliac c-un
i! 'r. iffat hr Ua« Ju~" rrlunjiri froiii lii- f-.t'!. wi;rrr hr hai*
i ---rii bi.-o rivtk of
f v r v'iii {.fit-. --1.-. l: h- m
liii;* neck :• > .!$:•• > ;* l; than
L"ret»jfare. »n.i u*. it i* -jaitr u:> oVj'-'t- in tir.-*--
wartime*. i>T --.rrv tint V 3 putcbesr w arr»- th-y c.ui £et
The Best Goods and at the Lowest Prices,
?..• wLulti *-iy s!i\l hr can an«J will 4 -i. a* F if u>t a
little* fairer thin .*ny olherhou-* m thi- pUcr, H- wishes
all to £all aiiJ stv his.stock Defer* rl-ewlier*.
*. !.«• ft.*rls conhUt-ct he on offer iß«iuctr:iicnts which will
flis stock consist.- •>{
LADIES’ DRESS GOODS ut* even dcscripiion,
a and cads.
aLEACJIEb and unbleached muslin
He *iil xi: LaUir*S*wrd, HMf*i lk»ot«* at £1 .£u,'tii.73
**v l-37(§i1.50
M • Rx-ts
haMORAL pKIRTS. rery 1.. w,
a w,.i 15; .•«!* Coff—-. Syrupy. ic.‘
'•?r.v t.’i. the w usually kept in a i)rv Gt»xls Store,
jif* cheapest. J. A, SHRjfcXKLE.
T. iv£.
Dit. K. •H.'HEJWART would res;.«‘et
ftily amuoance : > the citizen# of Altoona and -ior
r wnotrr. • that he h:u* recently pnrchasrd the
Ku,: Store -if Berlin k C 0.,, on Virginia Str- en opposite
F-.»•»* Hardware Sfcjre.
His Druses are Fresh aud Pure,
*L?t:o hope* by strict attention to busiue**.
of public patronage,
• ii! apd examine: hi* atxk. Hr ha* constant!* on Itand.
‘liAss Furry, paixts oils ya bxishes
cabmox oil axd lamps
-neiy article lih ally kept is a Pim-Gajj Lrruj Si-re
L for rnedicin.\l t is*.
“ camponaded. m ill hoars of the dir or uirht
A-ltoohi. Sept. 30>, 1563. * 8
Istii SPRING 1864
Ct-BiG i: I.AR.
I ' a^e pitasure in issuing this my Spring
. oabJ?- e r 6 wou!d “Jfrfcn*
fT™’ 1 * tl i* t 1 t “ T< ' j ;irt "Wd from
fc ’i w “ m 1 P'orchlsod l fresh Stock of
hats and CAPS
•f StJl*<»nJ is to quilitv, <■ ,'ur liol 1-rUo . ~
f.*il 10 plww *l| cW*. * 1h :
I Lire also bought *a immense «u*ck of
I* P>»tM
~tW , Lidia, !uri CtihW Shoe* is
pfel“ “* a.ismsll aj.
e * Ur , b< ’' iefi, ‘' i ~T Ctrlrt*; this their
" lram " m - r r "- k ' «»*■
JAMES MANX, Main »tre«t.
Alteon*, Pa.
- f MEanc hardware, •
Ktrrr, white lead *fc, 4C WLVD °w glass.
thi. tm. t XIKMJ). JlOperquart?r. Nocharr?for
Ilatnant - Re "d«<*«' Cuthariß? Street,"
J^^^^t-CEIVED —A Lot of Prime
Jm. iii’«r^‘
Jflrft ' * PUnu ‘*o» BUtw. *t ■ '
JM 13, flKl , agiOART-S Drug Star..
EN AND BOYS’ COATS, of every
color, of food qtHtUty, tt *'
- ; ■ ! ' LAtTOHJBIAN’B.
I>JEW and improved styles
4-' TdUM tad Cvp«t*Bica. It
' !•' LAUOQMAN*2.
£ 'JJSrJjf O Ctow.Ortw, Ttyra.lteik.ontb. li7
' £I * ttl MvaSea.
:(ri VUrkrt Sir*--t. Plul-ulelphui.
nirrit a
REIGAKT? Drag Store.
£. B MeCRtTM, •
i €hmt fporttc.
Pierre Barnad has written lew thing- nu*rr U-uulifnl
than the following ; •
Our Fatht'i
By right of creation.
By bountiful provision
By gracious adoption
Who art in U- av eu —
The throne of thy glory.
The portion of thy chi Ulren.
Thr temple of thy angel*. .•
Hallowed be Thy name—
By the thought* af anr hearts.
By tin* wunis of oar lips, .
By ib-e u orts of oar hands.
Thy kingdom come—
Of Providence to defend as,
Of grace to refine m.
of glory to crown ns:
Tb> w ill done on earth as it is in Ueatnt—
Towards us without resistance.
By us w ithout compulsion.
Cmversallr witboat exception.
Eternally without declension
Oiw u- this* • !.*> uur daily bread; —
Of k.r our Indie*,
Of eternal life for our svut-
Au.l forgive us oar te* —
Against the commands of thy ;.«w
Against the grace of thy <i.
As we forgive them that trespass against u«—
By defaming our characters.
By qfßbezzling oar property.
By abusing oar persona :
And l«id us Dot into temptation, bat deliver u* frum c»,l—
Of worldly enticements.
Of Satan’s devices,
Of errors’ seductions. .
Of sinful affections;
Fur thin* u the kingdom, the po*vr and the
Hi; kingdom govern*, alt.
Thy power subdues all,
TLv glory i& above ali. '
As it is in thy purpo*^;
So it is iu tby promises.
So be it ia par prayers.
So it shall be tp thy pra isi,
liY \V. O. EATON.'
“Horace, I am very sorry t<t >«:e that
you are So completely run out, in pros
pects and in parse.”
“And so am I,” said Horace. -
“But you know the state of my means,
my family expenses, and also, I trust, my
heart, and so Ido not tear that you will
reproach me for not giving you the pecu
niary aid yon need, but which I am
unable to furnish.”
“Of course, not,” replied Horace Per
kins, grasping the hand of Samuel Mor
timer warmly. “We have each
other from boyhood— too well to doubt
each other.” ;
am thinking, Horace,” proceeded
Mortimer, who was fond /of eccentric
speculation and a little good, humored in
trigue, “what you might do lor yourself,
if you have enougih, by way of
proving the business abilitie| I know you
to possess.” ?'
“I am so desperate,” returned Horace,
‘‘that I fee} daring enough to undertake
almost anything.” 'j/
“Yo>+ are not known here, and you
might be able to make the, plan I have
thought of succeed. And it is this : Here
is the house ot Bale, Broadcast & Co., ;
who have a branch of their mercantile;
establishment in this city and the other in
London. Now, it appears tiiat the recent
jleath of Mr. Bale, the senior' partner, has'
caused the other members pi the firm to
send a letter ordering the business of this
branch of the house tostop, and the ware
house to be shut up, until the affairs of
firm can be thoroughly’ rearranged,
tyhich will take three months, at the end
of which time one of the Junior partners ■
will come from abroad to /manage the
business. I have had some conversation
with the clerks here, an| the other
employees, and they think it 1 rather sin
gular that such an order should be sent,
»nd don't like it at all—throwing them,
ss it does, temporarily out of hmdnwa
Whr wouldn titbe a good idea for you gerously responsible situation, when
now to goover there, boldly, anffannounee tidings of the fact Were sent to Miss Julia
to them before they shut up. the good Bucklewell, a handsome young heiress, an
“7 Jd° U . n “ W pa T t " er * ° rphan ’ who « a Neighboring
Rici.ardDaiiefl.nt, or any nameyou please, town, where, on his rambling search for
just come over to countenuand the order employment, Dareflint had passed a month.
in the letter, and carry the business right H e had made the acquaintance of Miss
straight along ? The clerks won tbe too Bucklewell, and struck bv her beauty
urgent about seeing your credentiais-an manners, and accomplishments, had fallen
imposture in such a case would be so deeply in love with her, as many others
unlikely—and you can Say you forgot to had done with her fortune ; and like
bring them, in your haste, or lost them : many others, he had declared his’ love
and they will be more likely to believe proposed marriage— and been rejected *
you, from the fact that the exact state of The gloom which followed this refusal
atlairs is known to few but themselves and had completed his desperation at the time
me ” .... when he re Pa«red, with an aching Iheart,
But suppose they detect the decep- to the city, amL assented to'the proposal
tiont of Moniqfer.
“Then I will boldly come forward and ii„ ..... . , ...
confess that lam responsible for the joke. „ , unc oas€ious that he had
They know me well, and no harm can attachment in the
come of it ” “ 1 1 Bucklewell. But she had
“But what good can come of it ? I had J lhat
don't see. Tshould certainly be found out *l r ln l . er train °* admirers
at the end of the three months.” “ ntll f he co,lld h “ ■ His sadden
. ..... departure grieved her. and she had insti
"But you have high business capacities, tuted inquiries as to his whereabouts until
and during the three months you could she ascertained, and also became informed
employ the credit of the house greatly to of the name and position he had assumed
its advantage. Ihe fact that you had She was amazed, and half doubted what
done so, kept their clerks together, and she had heard. Her curio-itv bei.c
acted honestly with the power you had aroused, she resolved to indulge in a little
assumed, backed by my intervention, and intrigue that she might not only jud-e of
confession that J set you up to it, would, his sincerity regarding herself, but also of
1 think, result to your permanent benefit, his general probity as a man If he had
Hoiv say you ? Do you dare to run the assumed such a strange position, she
nsk I ' thought that his motives must be equally
"1 do, replied Horace, firmly “1 am singular.
desperate, and will meet the peril in the hr . , .
■ hope of profit." ‘ /lo accomplish her purpose, therefore,
“Spoken like ,nv old schoolmate.” joy- iT.T i* conhdant > h a ™g
fuily exclaimed Lb intriguing acquiin- ere ‘ l tll;lt I J e^ late sul tor—Horace Perkins,
taut*. “And it you find that you can Z “ igbt
gain the confidence of the clerks,' vuu can
■ .. . . , mg to Bale, Broadcast & Co., and formerly
enter into a fine speculation for the house • u r.. ’ i , -
forthwith." occupied by one of the members of the
“And what speculation is that ?” in- , Harris (suchwa.-, the name
qui>-ed Horace ot the confidant of Julia) was delighted
“The papers of this morning,” said : ‘° bOUSe ’ and
Mortimer, “announce the wreck of a • , c - , alK pretty, soon
vessel loaded with furs, off Rocky Ledge , f ontnved to ® et tbe s ‘! uallon . ol house-
You could post down there and comrive ‘ fT'f W
to purchase -he damaged cargo at a Bucklewell of her sue-,
bargain, in advance of anybody else. No I th “ f "> that cuno f ladv
doubt you could get it on three months’ i 1“®! dis
credit 'of such a bouse as Bale. Broadcast 1 ™ted SaUy
&Co And furs are high now.” trom her . 0 dose . J^a
”111 go right over at once. replied n“" -f 1 least Ricbard
Horace Perkins, “and make the bold ex- b r?n 5
periment ” tb h was but httle at ibe house, save
Having given him some necessary in- “ th . e eveni . ng ’ and that 1,6 most of
formation in regard to the previous affairs Lli “ me l wbo, V th , ere ’ 1,1 read ‘ n ?'
of fhe house, etc., so that the new partner, , ! He t 0 * V =man,” said
from Loudon, might not seem utferly igl ; J? 1 * ‘° 1D b f. r “But I
norant. Mort,m£ directed him to the ' ?° übt otall He is odd
warehouse. Perkins repaired thither, and | °
reported himself to the head clerk under : aao h f r party so daringly, he
the name of Richard Dareflint. bv which i l * h . kely ,D f ber 3 ' 1
we will call him for the present. ' ™ b r VOU t 0 tr ? h ‘ m and ,et me overhear
vr „ . „ . S / ‘he interview. I will atone tor the
Mustering all the blandishments of meanness—if meanness it is. where I
l a , “ which be was master, Richard 1 have so great an interest at stake—by ac
! Dareflint, finding all the clerks, etc., in a cepting him if he prove J different from
great flurry ot anxiety on account of the ■ what I think all men are—false ”
order to cease business, soon contrived to ! Sally placed Julia in a convenient place
make his representations as implicitly as | for the purpose, and that evening the trial
they were.gladly uebeved. 1 hey hailed ; interview was had.
his coming with joy. and were in no mood : Sally entered the apartment where
tor catechising one presence was a Dareflint sat reading, and opened the con
guarantee that their salaries were lo con- i versation in zrtat spirits and good humor,
unite The head clerk, glad to be relieved ■ while the tone of Dareflint was melan
ot the responsibility of chief superin- ; choly. \ j
tendence, was particularly earnest in i “Why don’t you get married. Mr
giving tiie new partner an insight into the ! Dareflint ?” said Sally, and
business on this side ot the water; showed taking a seat close to him. “You look «o
him all the books of the concern, and ex- , gloomy, reading here alone every evening,
plained all the duties which were required ; Or, excuse me, perhaps you are marriW
ot the various persons employed about the already T
establishment i “Noth I haven’t seen the woman
Mr. Dareflint. after looking over the Je t that I could marry ”
accounts, and inspecting the store through- : “Oh ! I suppose, then, that you mean
out, expressed himself satisfied, much to i that you couldn’t trust a woman Well
the pleasure of the head clerk, who told i perhaps you are right. I sunpose we d»
the other clerks that the new partner was | a ll like variety—men and women, too I
an “awful smart man, a good fellow and I can say for myself that 1 do. Don’t you”’
a perfect brick,” which opinion was cor- ; “You appear to be in unusual spirits
roborated by his posting promptly to the ! this evening,” replied Dareflint smiling,
wrecked vessel, in company with the -But you mistake me. I meant that it
chief clerk, and effecting a purchase of the ; had not been in my power to marry any
immense cargo of furs at once, and with woman : because I could not marry where
a profit to the house far exceeding even ; I did not love, and I cannot marry where
the most sanguine expectations of his ! J have loved.” J
II > nmv
10 ou
friend, Mortimer. ■
“With you at the head of our branch p-r, j J U ave T ,^ v ., ‘. A 0 doubt.—
of the hoqse, said the head Clerk, exul- 'isn’t 3C ' a ,, 8 *j* e wa f with
tingly, “affairs will go on more swim- .j- /, ■ an g e > she continued,
niingly than ever before.” ’ *°° klng archl y his eyes, “that we can
“Thank you, sir,” replied Mr. Dareflint. ]■?'» st^man 7 fancies in the course of a
“I hope I shall please my partners as well .*J ac t a ” orm or a
as Ido you.’- while—until a fresh one comes—and th»t
. , , . one till another, and soon, and fancy that
When asked, subsequently, by th ? clerks, we are in love all the time, the present one
d there were any great changes likely to driving out the memory of the absent—
“ade, at the end^of three months, he What a strange thing love is.”’ '
‘ hat m,ght hci, though he « This fa not love/’ gloomilv answered
should take care to give a good report of Dareffint ' ‘
?i=f Zea f’i nd K aStry and fideUfy to the “* “As *wh love as anybody has,” said
tefests of .he house. Sally, gayly. “ And so much I think no-
They did all in their power to please should many, for love fa roving arid
him in consequence that they might will not bo umL lam deirminedVv
make their sttuatiofls the more secure the er to many, but love whoever and as often
' ' VaS / ha V :as I please. J>o you know that I could
Dareflint, the new partner from London,. almost love yon’”
became quite an autocrat in a very short - j m ight fed' flattered by the compli
ttme T and had but little to do except to meDtj Sally, but I will not permit you to
get as much mlormation as he could, deceive youredf.” ' 1
conceal bfa own ignorance by an air of -Why so ? Wouldn't y<U encourage
secrecy and acquire in the opinions of me , if j Jf d tbat j loved and Wo Jf d
the head derk. . ga cri fipe everything forardqrn f’
But a week had dapsed, after Dare- ( “No, Sally. I should taUfyou frankly,
flint had been thus installed in his dan- or any one who went so far as that, that
| the heart was not its own master, or that |
| it controlled the mind, and that F had
; never loved but one, could never ; and
! though that one could never be mine, 1
‘ should still adore her while life lasted ;
j an d so feeling, be too feeling to many; or
I pretend love for another.” ~
j Sally had said far more than she would
j have dared to say, were she not urged : to
j it by devotion to the interests of her liar
j tening friend. Convinced that she had
j nearly, if not completely, satisfied her as
j to the character of Dareflint’s affection,
r she changed the subject, and soon with
Leaving Miss Bucklewell to draw Her
own conclusions; from that interview, let
us give attention to the store for a while.
Each day. Da reflint ' became more
| uneasy in his false position, ; His cooler
j judgment made him more keenly appre
; ciate the peril as well as the disreputa
i bility" of his eccentric friend, and he
I yearned to abandon it rather; than await
j the issue, as Mortimer advised.
| Fate, ere long, seemed to favor his
| wish for, one day, apparently by chance,
he fell into the society of a. stranger, who"
styled, himself Thomas Clinchman, who
expressed a strong desire to become a
partner in the business. He was evidently
a man of means. Dareflint, contrary to
his custom, his burden weighing heavily
on his mind, - indulged in so much wine
with Clincl ■man that he became impendent
enough to explain his actions and his
motives, and his desire to withdraw.
“Il you wish to be a partner, take my
place.l have benefited the; firm by the
fur speculation. I think (hey would not
blame you when they heard all. And as
you say you have a perfect knowledge of
the business, with plenty of capital, they
would be likely to receive you;as a partner
at the end of the three months. My
absence can be explained to the clerks,
for the present, by saying that I am
Such was the substance pf Dareflint’s
proposal, under the influence of wine :
and, strange to say, Clinchmap agreed to
it. On the following day he examined
the books, conversing with the head clerk
and seeming satisfied that all was right.
■ Not a word ol Mortimer’s; complicity
had been mentioned; and Clinchman,
still at a loss to make out the character
of Dareflint, having accepted his invitation
to pass the night at his house, concealed
himself within hearing of the conversation
which occurred in the evening between
Dareflint and Sally—Dareflint having
told him that be should leave the city .early
in the morning.
Having informed Sally that circum
stances had occurred to break off all his
relations with the firm, and that be should
leave the country on the morrow, he told
her that his successor, Mr. Clinchman,
would doubtless continue her 'in her situa
tion as housekeeper.
*‘My anxiety is not about myself, air,” i
said she, “but about yourself. Excuse
me, if I am too, free, but I must.inform you
that I have known all along you were pot
Richard Dareflint, nor a real member of
the firm. have had a good reason,
however, to feel an interest in your welfare,
and if you can convince me that you have
had any pardonable cause for acting as
you have done, you may find me a friend
in need.” 1
Dareflint burst into tears. Her look
convinced him that his confidence would
not be betrayed, and be frankly told her
all, incidentally mentioning the name of
Mortimer. !
‘•Mortimer his friend S” was the sur
prised reflection of Clinchman, ; who was
listening to all. ‘.-Then he must be all
right, and this is one of that fellow’s old
tricks. Nobody but Sam Mortimer would
have thought of Such a plan.” : ‘'
“Now that I have t6ld you all upon
that subject, 1 might as well add that my
desperation at my poverty would never
have driven me into such an action, ’ bad
I not felt that it had already deprived me i
of the hand of one whom I loved, and
still love, and who. refused me her hand.’’
And having revealed so much to an
evidently sympathizing heart, lie disclosed
all in relation to Julia.
“ And do you think your love for her'
entirely hopeless?” inquired Sadly.
“Wholly,” replied Horace; “else I
should never leave the country, but remain
and nip all risk£” t
“ Then you will, I hope, take my ad
vice and remain;” 'at this moment ex-ij
claimed Mias .Hocklewell, entering from
an adjoining ttibm, advancing w-itb a;
smile, apd extending her band jvarmly, to
Bis unaffected astonishment. V
“I have heard alt, know all; and will
explain hereafter. The hand that I re
fused I now give you, for 1 feel that now
I know pud appreciate you.” J
“And I ad 4 my solicitation' to hers,”
now added Clinchman, himself entering
and taking the other hand of the now
doubly astonished Horace. ■ - -
“ Permit me to introduce myself as John
Broadcast, Jr We had heard; in Louden
of a partner by proxy Who had so boldly
undertaken to manage bur affairs; but. 1
find that all is right— and from thismo
ment divest yourself of all and rapli
me among your friends.” ,
The spiritual sunshine which so sud
denly diffused itself onr
mind of Honwe was so that
for a moment he doubted its really. He
gaped at his friends for a moment in sc
ience, and then replied—
“My example, in undergoing a great
hazard, has proved infections. Do you
feel sure that it will end as joyfully with
j “I *>ave no doubt of it,” said Broad
} cast, cheerfully,
j “Nor I,” as readily said Julia
! The result fulfilled the ire hopes. Their
! love and friendship were not misplaced,
jibe l#Wner by proxy became a putner
| in reality in time, while the heart wipityi
j intrusted to Horace by Julia, tobe a
j richly prolific investment.
Josh Billings ox tub Dbar.—Josh
Billings is out with an “official” on the
draft. He says:
Widder wimmin, and there only ton, is
xemt, provided the widder’s husband has
already served two years in the war, and
is wiMxng’ to go in again; Wave the Spreme
Cort has decided this forever. '
Once: Xf a man should run away .with
his draft, he probably would*! ever be al
lowed to >stand the draft again; this
lukasevear at first, but the more you luk
at it thd more you can see the wisdom
into iL
Once moarly: Xlinpts age those who
have been drafted into the Sait prizzen
fur trying to get an honest livin by sup
portin 2 wives tu and unsound on the
goos: also,, all nnspaper comspondints
and fools in gineraL
Once moarly again: No substitute will
be ackcepted who is less than three or
moar than ten feet high ; he must know
bow to chaw tobacker and drink poop
whiskee, and mus’nt be, afeerd o£ the
nor the rebels. Moral character ajn’t
required, as the Government furnishes
that and rashuns, ’ '
Conclusively: A person can’t-be draf
ted more than twice in two places with
out his consent; but any man bug right
to be drafted at least onct. I don’t tbfnfc
even a writ of habeas corpus can deprive
a man of this blessid privilege.
An Affecting Incident.—Two offi
cers, wounded in the battle qf the 30th
ult., before Petersburg,: were going home
last Friday by the Erie route. When
the train neared Oswego, a well dressed
lady, accompanied by a child and a gen
tleman, entered the car and took a seat
in front of them. As the officers talked
over the recent engagement at Petersburg,
informing each other of various
tances who had fallen, one remarked:
“There was Captain Warwick, of the
109th New York, as brave a fellow as ev
er lived; he- was shot through the bead
and instantly killed.” The lady referred
to, imediately sprang from her seat, and
throwing up her hands, exclaimed, « Oh,
don’t say that; he was my husband,” and
she burst into an agony of tears.—
This was the first intelligence she. had
received of her husband’s death. The
child with her was his daughter, «r»d the
gentleman his brother. There were very
few dry eyes in that calf during rest of
the journey to Elmira.
Heboism of as Exorw^gp—The £l
- (N. T.) Gazette records .the following
act of sublime devotion to duty amt of
heroic self-abnegation:
“The engineer on thetrainconveying"
prisoners to this place, when the eoQisrion -
was discovered to ha unavoidable, with
certun death staring him in the he- ,
roicafiy remained at his post and reused
the engine, and was buried in tKe -%redc.
When found, his back wasagainstthe
boiler, and be was literally borntitb
He told those who mm« tP fa aaiwunce
to keep away from him'for their own safe
ty, as he feared the boiler would burst.
Every exertion was made to extricate Kim;
bnt without avail until fife was.
His name was William Ingram.”
AKrrumancAL.—Bill S is ad! ex
cellent accountant, but, like all men, will
sometimes make mistakes, and in am of
his bills figured upthat“B times 8 areSS ”
The Governor was not stow in discover
ing the mistake, and demanded explana
tion. Bill examined the "account and law
that he was down, bat did not Hke to ad
mit h; so putting on a bold fees* be said:
“That’s all right” “How so?” waathe
inquiry. “Ifs all owing to the ihdarinn
of.the currency," said Bill; “the multi
eatioo table, like everything else, Ami puns
up]?- . ■ ■ ,
Abocuentux ad Fxicdujc.—-A Scotch
paper tells the stray of a dturyfurmm-.'wfao, '
after the burial of his wife; drove a hard
bargain With the grave-digger, wbbi jbrihgi
ing his hand down on the shovel, said;
“Down wi’ anither shilling’ or up she
comes!” . .
J»*A gentleman walking withtWo
ladies stepped on a - hogshead
fiew up artd struck him in tbe fent - - '
“Mercy !” said he, “which of nw
dropped that ?” ; ’ ■ *****
‘l * IV-
NO. 23.