rf&prvmh : ATE C&PITOT,' ■ ;'■ 6fimA«K BO©K ’ v w^jJMagte^k» fur' _<* *«' gW A*w«m«i>u. Duplicate., HBtesa^^saap^gte «tjle c »S Htakw^^^o^uth. &»sr’aßook, jjfMtee. Flapn MmJc. kc., l>ound ln«t«2*f V,cr «*Wf and .nUtantial half bindiue fSt'3i , V"- <* taargaiazine., Pamphlet law., ftty moderate prices, pfranit i^ N * bind, wlllrecei.ea'n^,^" t,n l' a g^f jwfbe aent to in fmni .VlK.?J^'^‘ ul ‘l. Pu*l 1 »atrn»toil 1 toonr carewltH,.. iPpl.aaMy packed and retarded *l‘<,,'J |p*«*t Ad«w TS! i%ggr - • IM*I>BRN, at the wnia. and eicihitj. “‘J HP. binding, and recelTe «nd?!..ti" i' r,, ' il *( charge, for all who ent.u.rtlwtr wi'v^ ! [March 21,1^* h i • ! ■CO £ i : -«-S - ? vr.# «- • ; DC C . “ i« V mi, pt.- 1= * H -»l 1 4JC • 2® Sf ”J2 o - I P 3 2 t o? 1-11 SNf ? g S.< s~ ~ c 5 £ -.95 »' Oh ■* OR si' 1 t).b?|3-Ss fSs*£-|E ' S 0 £•< “•£ 2 * f £ I 3 h3® g^-f > es e m f; , *■) 1,: 1 ward: ever onward: ■step by Step? IINJWfiRSIONBD DESIRES TO * a iw^ RESS GOODS, braCU,g a " «> l «>««t;'pretlie*Uod.M.,, ■vHIONABLK PATTERNS, nm,r ,M ’ every unality ~f b,,l mSi ii Mt 'i 0 ** 1 ' 1 b “ too ti'dlott«,to«mmerali ’ lu thri line of pure, fresh atwl cheap ’EBIES & PROVISIONS I l£t L 7Z *?. n !'\ of my r ““petitbra. 1 meet I feel sdre that I can render satbbctlon produce taken in exchange !„r Ihe lilgte«t market price allowed. - r tn» corner of Annie-and Helen street*. Kust THOMAS lIESLOI*. M«j- 22. vm. T ACOB WETS, 211 AND CONFECTIONER, t’lwnsu Altoosa. I‘a_ : ** CONSTANTLY ON HAND iead. carp:,. : C33E* C£IEAM WSKAm of hi* own ra»ouf«ctur«, which ho P ~ll > whole**!*- hr retail, at tho most muon- , FORKICSS FRUITS, eqel, ua ; PKS. LEMONS, PINE-APPLES, pSSES, RAISINS, NITTS. &C„ &C„ . Mhl In their respective nasons. BAKED TO ORDER. fccaslons, on short notice and iu the inut ile of the art. ie and price my stock and yon will flml ■leap as can be purchased elsewhere. ■Cm and Sheet Iron Ware. Pouting, &c. ■ WOULD RESPECT-^ the citizens of Im> keep*constantly on hand *»wt pi O*oking, Itortor, Office w all styles And sixes, to suit the " * , whlch he will «e)!at low prices,«nmKni> 3*15! hfca ? * lar «** ***** of Tin and She/-' ** or c^^ua *TP ar P rtß4,,t ~ the rght of sale in Blair comity HOVED SAUSAGE STUFFER, only to bp seen to be appreci.n. r Ph**»B*d by every farmer, batcher or those IP'» machine, phtt attention pah] tu putting op SPOUTING. Dor country. Spooling painted and put tip haepnable terms. IBBP-ly i FETTINGER’S hul Hews Agency, No! 7, MAIN STREET k books! blank books, V.R Y, CONNECTION A HI ES Iks & tobacco, > NOTIONS IN GREAT VARIETY [COSSTANTLT ON HAND. |afll. ■; : Lkoyd & CO., r ALTOONA, PA* iTON, JACK & CO., ,■ BOLLWATSBUiea, PA* s; WBiUn JohnUOH, Sack PS ON THE PRINCIPAL bat 811 rer and Gold for eale. Collections I received on deposite, payable op demand. It-or, upon time, with Interest at Mr rates. KESSLER PRACTICAL POT) rapectfally aaepaacea , f ' Altooun and the pohße >ll continue* the VrugbmtStmiW^SS^r he kH]iiantagd]i:V7 *££““ 1 * ,u>d Retail, Dttlfo£ M OII^?AKNl8tI-'4|^^ p» tobuajneaa, and a drain* lereoJw ‘«t ttttirdi price and quality, be it'*}" - t * la rtare or public patroriage. merchant* Hupplierl oo teMOBaUe term* n a dhteou promptly ahhriidcri to •crlptloM eandtalty ll" I*- 1 *- Pt fe’RIENDS WOULD DO P in upon the choice and ehaate jumort- HRKbS GOODS imai illepuyd Itn~~ **"*' 'of ' umiPBYJtIfenSK, ' „ Cor. of Tirgintaaad Caroline etc. I*l l«w. LARD OILS, .CASI- Rlold, Carton 08, Aivat McGOiy»ieE’E Store .or I®S— A LAEGE A^D “•rtoumt ufOneefia* KaMfwt been >- •** - 3. b. jhmsuk AT, TOOTH, SHAVIJGr ttiTtniiiiißrmlw*! >tt, GOLOGEES^e^M *iap .Cljeaim Jhflet goapfcL^r^by VOL. 8 NEW GOODS. rpHE undersigned would respectfully'in -1 formHiuoltiiens of Altoona and Mtrronmliug conu ,r, that hehasjoat returned from the Bast. where helms selecttog h« stuck of |. kall and winter goods, «inch, for style, quality ainTprice, ran no! he snrpaneed.in neck of country. Ilia stock is much larger than !..,Uofore.4UKl •• H I* quit" no objectjin these exciting "„ r mue«. for every one to purchese whjere tliey con get 1 he Best Goods and at the Lowest Prices, ... would suv that he can and will sell as low, if not a ■ tie lower thanany other house in this place. , He wishes 1 in call and see his stock before parohaeiug elsewhere, .- lie feels confident he can offer inducements which will !„fv competition. Hii stock consists of I.ADIKS’ PKESB GOODS of every description, MEN AND BOYS’ WINTER WEAR, I.ADIKS ,kNP MISSES’ DRESS SHOES, MKN AND BOYS’ BOOTS AND SHOES. MEN’S HALF HOSE, WOMEN’S AND MISSES’ WOOL HOSE, il \T> AND CAPS, ' i PLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED MUSLIN. * GINGHAM* AND HEAVY DRILLINGS, lb* will sell Ladiea Sewed. Heeled Bootjwe at $1.50@1.75 kip Pegged I^7@l-50 '•:> n's Boot*, ; \ 2.75r«*. Altoona Oct, f, ISG3. Dl'. K. H. REIGART would respect fully announce to tin* citizens of Altoona uml-mr •undiup country, that he has recently purchas'd the !■ rug Store of Berlin A Co., on Tiigmia Str-*-r. i i‘V Hardware Store. nd he hopes by strict attention to hnsinei*. to merit a •ii tr.-of public ‘patronage. ‘ ;*II and examine his stock. He hascnmdru.tlv on bund. DRUGS, MEDICINES ami CHEMICALS. L\K TOILET SOAP'S. PP.UFUMEJR i\ Mif'SHES. ■UI.AS& PUTTV. PAJSTS. VAPXISBF.S. CABBO& OIL A XD LAMPS yonoAS. rn;,\RS. svtry article uxually kept ik a First Drmj PURE WINES AND LIQUORs' for mediyhial uV. Jm»>IKSTIO GRAPE WINE—PURE—WARRANTED. PHYSICIANS' PEES' EWTIO&S rurately compounded, at uli hour* <»f the day <u. They are free/»f 'tdnittfmrj«>n, coloring, or mix ture of any kind. A NOTHER LARGE LOT OF THE CKLKBRATEP JKKBKY HAMS just received ami" bn- sale at FHITCUEY’g ( IRE AM CRACKERS! A fresh sup * J ply of these delicious crackers just received and for *l* at FRITCKKY'ft IF YOU WANT GOOD COFFEE, pore T«m, (he best of Chocolate, Syrup* »nd Sugar*, -..t0 I’IUTCHKY’S. Boston crackers—a large s«pply of delicious cracker* jaist received • rid for sale by fltlTCflKr. XTRA FAMILY FLOUR, FROM Jk the Cove, always on hand and for sale as low i« tholowectbv • ' ; FRITCHKV. fOFFEES. SUGARS, AND SYRUPS of all irrados. and at reasonable pricey for sale by - , FRITCHKY. |M BARBELS PURE CIDER VINE* I \f OAB Just received and for Mle low at Sept.,l, 1863. FEITCHEV’ii 17XTRA FAMILY FLOUR, PUT UP la \4 Sacks expressly for family Use at FEITCUfcY’S WORRELL’S PREPARED COFFEE * * just received and for sale by ; FRITOHRY. SUPERIOR CREAM CHEESE AT yj fmxcuisrs. J BARRELS PURE WHITE LARD -+ just received and for sale at FBXTCItEY’S NEW STORE, coiner JL of Caroline and Virginia Sts. ALL STYLES -CARPETING AND i\ Oil-Cloth, nan be found *: bAUtI HMA VS. J"EW WINTER READY MADE * Clothing jMI rocelwd at . i LAUGHMAVB A FINE ASSORTMENT OFOVER XjLortATfi can be fonnd mt bACOHMAN’S " -.-. --|p—■-■ ■ - ■ 1 7 " " ■ | 1, MoCRUM & DERN, Altoona, Ocr. 7, 1803. ( TTY DRUG STORE His Drugs are Fresh and Pure. THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE. K~R McCRUM . H. C. DERX. Per qnnam, (payable iuvariahlysiu advance,). $1.50 Ail papers di«coatiimHd at the expiration of the time paid tor. 1 insertion 2 do. .3- do. Font lines of teas $ 85 $ $ 50 One Square. *8 Uuu») ,j»> 75 1 00 Two * 4 (10 “ ) lOn 150 200 Three •• (84 “ jj 15u 200 850 Ovor three weeks and lew than throe months. 85 cents per square ibr each insertion. 3 months, 6 months. 1 year. Six lines or les* $ 150 $ S 00 $5OO Oneeqnafe * 2 60 4 m) 7 00 Two •• .. 4 00 0 00 10 00 Thf*e • ' ;....; :> oo 800 1200 Fonr 6 00 10 00 14 00 Half a column.: 10 00 14 00 20.00 One column, 14 00 26 00 40 00 Administrators and Executors/Notices 1 76 Merchant* advertising by the: year, three squares, with liberty to change.. Professional or business Cards, not exceeding 8 lines with per year.... 6 00 Communications of a political character or individual interest, will be charged according to the above rates s Advertisement* not marked with the number of inser tion* deiired, will be continued till forbid and charged according id : the above terms. Business notices five cants per line tore very insertion. Obituary notice* exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square They’ve sent ala* to die? My.first-born, noble boy; They’ve crushed .a loving mother’* heart. And rolibbd Hie of its joy ’Twas but ene short, short year agoae. He r< »o jnpatrlot pride. « And bnckled spur and sabre on. Then left his mother’* side. My eon, my child? you’i dyimr now— Oh. God, ’tie hard to see My boy, in all bln manliness. Thns.snaiched from life and me ’ He battled bravely for “ Old Flag:." He shrank not in the fray. Bnt. ah' he fell, and wasting, pa***#*! Too many u wean day. No shot from cannon’s fiery mouth. No glittering sabre’s wound Laid nyr brave boy upon his conch. When heartsick, sad he moaned. But kicknees sapped his young life’s bland No mother’s gentle care. Gavdhipt the cooling, healing drink ; No anxious one wiu there. And Imi jhf a come, sent home “ exempt.' “JSxffmpt”—the cruel word. HellhboD exempted Ive, indeed. By death's unUpiring sword, \h. ,ws** is me?. Indeed ’ti* hard My (Urling boy to see Mrejc4»ed ont so ghastly, pale and thin. 1 ir life’s last agony. Vly boy, my boy *tis bard, ’tfs hard Todyink this bitter cup! A mother only known how hard It give the© up 1 The path'ofdnty 1 clearly trace, I stand With conscience face to face. And all her plan* allow ; Calling and crying the while for grace. “Home! other time, and Homo other place— -1), not to-day—not to*dayf” ( know ’tis a demon boding ill, I know l!havo power to do If 1 will And 1 put my bitud to th’ plough: 1 have fair, sweet seeds in my barn, and lo When all the furrows are ready to sow. The voice says, “ 0, not now !’* My peace I *ell at the price o! woe— In heart and in spirit 1 suffer so. The anguish wrings my brow. But still I linger and cry for grace— other time and some other place— O, not to-day— not to-day?" I talk to iny stubborn heart and say. The work I must do I will do to-day ; 1 will make the Lord a vow; Aud I Will not rest and 1 will not sleep Till the vow 1 have vowed 1 rise and keep. And the demon cries, Not now!" And so tbe days and the years go by. And sol register lie upon lie. And break with Heaven my vow: For when I would boldly Cake my stand. This terrible demon stave my hand— 0, not to-day—hot now: !’* Vritcuey felfrt ■ HistfUang. The other4ny I. met a friend who was for merly one Of the Bed Devils. During the conver sation which ensued he asked me whether I re membered pill —, who deserted the regiment at Fortress Monroe. “A,slender, dark-eyed young fellow, was he not?" ' “ The same.” replied my' friend. •* VVebecame chums from the first moment we met at Fort Schuyler; and if you will give me your attention a few moments you shall hear how he came to de sert the regiment, and a few other facts that will surprise you.'! “By all means.” said I. “ let me hear the storv.” j “Wellj” bdgan my friend, “ one day we were sitting in the shadow of a pine trees near oar en campment at Fohress Monroe, when my chum commenced tp speak of a beautiful girl in the vil lage'of Hampton, whom be was in the habit of visiting occasionally. “ ‘ She ip a beantv.!’ he exclaimed, enthusiastic ally; ‘and, Jack,’ he.added, laying his hand upon mv arm, ‘ you shall go with me to see her. ’ Atfetil Objected, pleading as an excuse the modesty and. bashfulness I always experienced in the presence Ofthe fair sex. r “ But she isp’t fair.” said he; roon.”' “ When do you think of going ?” I asked. “ To-night." “But WB’ll;hjsve to ‘run the guard.”’ . “ That's noting,” answered Bill; we can easily manage that.*’ “So at length £ promised my chnm that I would accompany him' to the village of Hampton to see the beautiful quadroon. « When'night came, and wc started upon our nocturnal expeditioii.we hld no difficulty in pass ing oor line sentinels;,/or by some moans or other Blit ha4succeeded- in obtaining the counter sign EDITORS A2CC PROPRIETORS rcßus Or advertising A MOTHER'S GRIEF. NOT NOW ST ALICE CAST. THE REBEL SPY “ This task accomplished, we now made our way to the river beach, and after we had waited a short distance, my chum passed near a rock that jutted Over the water, and showed me a small skiff moored liencath its shadow. . We were soon seated in the -hit!', which Hew swiftly over the waves before the vigorous strokes of our paddles. In a few moments we. reached the place of our destination—admail, dilapidated building which stood a few yards jiack from the spot where we landed. There Was a small archway beneath the house, which evidently lead into the’cellar, and it was to that quarter that the steps of inv chum were directed, passing-through the archway, .we found ourselves' in total darkness; bin Bill shouted “ Come on !" and so I followed, although I stum bled several times against some empty casks, and once came very nearly being precipitated over a barrel. ‘‘lt’s all right! 1 ' shouted Bill. •■Come on!" “What tlie deuce tempted you m -eek jin en trance this way ?” 1 inquired. " There is a good stoop on the outside of the house. saw it." “It’s , the sliortest rout,” answered my cliuni. Here we are—here are the ceiiar steps." he con tinued, catching me by the arm, polling me to wards him. “We were soon at the top of the steps, when Bill knocked at a door in - front of us. A musical voice said “Come hi V and we entered a small, neatly furnished room, in which were seated an old negress and my friend’s quadroon. “ The latter was a beautiful creature, with long black hair that uescended below her waist, and eyes as dark and soft as a summer midnight.— She seemed very glad to see us—Bill in particular, around whose neck she threw her aims, kissing him with ,all the, warmth and favor of her South ern nature, while he was not at all backward in returning the compliment. The old negross rose and left the room : and I was just coming to the conclusion that it would be a good plan for me to do the same, when the unmistakable tramp of horses hoves approaching at a gallop saluted my ears and drew me to the window . Looking out into the night, I caught sight of a number of grey uniformed horsemen coming towards the house at a pace which must bring them to the door in a few moments. Ift 00 “The moon, which had hitherto been obscured by clouds, was shining brightly, revealing every Outline of the approaching figures. They were rebel cavalrymen. “ ‘Bill,’’ I exclaimed, ’come here !' " “ There was no answer, afid without turning around 1 again railed his name. “Still there was no reply." “ I shouted his name aloud, but there was no response; at that moment a gust of wind swept through a broken pane of glass and blew out the candle, leaving me in total darkness. “ Again I stepped to the window and looked out. The horseman had halted a few yards from the house, and were dismounting. Presently I saw three of them advance to the stoop, and heard the clattering ut their sabres am! the noise of their heavy hoots as they asended the -steps. I could also hear some of them coming up from the cellar ; so there was now left to me but one way ot retreat from the apartment, the same bv which tin* old negress had made her exit. As 1 passed through the doorway, I stumbled against the bottom of a staircase. This I immediately commenced to as cend as noiselessly aud as swiftly as possible.— Arriving at th- top, I discovered a door which 1 pushed open with ceremony, and found myself in a small apartment half lighted by the rays of a lamp which streamed into it from another room connected with this one by a door which had been left open. The imirmurof voices, coming from the Other apartment, fell upon my ear. I looked through the open doorway, and beheld a sight which surprised me. Seated upon a sofa at one end of the room were three figures. One was my chum Bill . with his arm around the waist of the quadroon, and her Itead upon his shoulder; while the other was a tall figure in the uniform of a rebel lieutenant of cavalry. “So Magrnder doesn't want the village burnt yet?” remarked Bill, as be stroked his Whiskers. “ There'ssn excellent opportunity to do it, if be does; for the pickets are very small around Hampton at present.” “I know that, captain," answered the lieuten ant, “ hut Magruder will wait until he sees how long the d—d Yankees are going to stay. If he sees a prospect of their going into winter quarters here, yon may depend upon it he'll burn the town?” “I shall keep my eyes about me.” said Bill, “ and report mutters as nsual.” “ Bnt when are you going to rejoin ns, cap tain ?" inquired the rebel. “* As soon ns Magruder thinks fit, answered Bill,, ‘ though to tell the truth I'm about tired of plating the spy. It was a denced good idea ofhis—my going to New York and enlisting in the Fifth Zouaves—ha! ha! ha! Captain, S , of the rebel service, a Bed Devil.” s “At that moment Bill happened to turn his head toward the door. Our eyes met ami ho sprang to his feet with an exclamation. At the same time the lieutenant rose and drew his sword. •‘You have overheard us?’* said Bill. “ Ay, traitor every word,” I answered. “ I might have foreseen' this,” said Bill, in a tone of chagrin. “ but that whisky of yours," he Added, turning to the lieutenant, “ made me care less - “ “He shall not leave this house alive,” ex claimed the lieutenant, drawing his pistol from his belt and pointing it at roy head. “ Bnt 1 had picked up a chair as he drew forth his weapon, and now with the quickness of light ning I hurled it at his face. The pistol was dis charged, but the contents whistled harmlessly over my head. I darted f{om the room down stairs, and nerving myself for a desperate venture, dashed across the apartment below, in the direction of the cellar stairs. The room was filled with rebel cav alrymen, but my sudden appearance sc astounded them,that they made no attempt to arrest my pro gress. By the time I had reached the cellar, however, they had recovered from their surprise, and as I'sped onward I heard the report of two or three carbines behind me, followed by the whiz of bullets as they flew past my ears. The - next moment 1 had passed through the archway into the open air, and with two or three bounds reached site ijkifl. Unfortunately by the ebbing of the tide, it was now high and dry upon the beach. 1 seized the stem with both hands and by a great effort of strength succeeded in launching it. Bnt the time occupied in this manoeuver enabled the foremost of my pursuers to gain upon me. With his piece clubbed and elevated on high' to deal me a powerful blow, he came on. Bnt while he was yet a few yards distant I stooped and qnickly un fastened the rope of the skiff from the stone to which it was tied. Lifting the heavy piece of rock, I suddenly rose Upright and hurled it with all my force at the head of my pursuer. “It struck him on the temple, and he dropped to the beach like a log. 1 “ The skiff was now drifting away from me j bnt 1 darted into the water, and being an excel lent swimmer, soon succeeded in reaching it. 1 clambered into it, and then looked toward the beach. Cavalrymen were drawn up in line, with their pieces pointed towards me. *' she is a quad- fIXDEPKXIVENT IX EVF.RTTHIXG.] ALTOONA. PA., WEDNESDAY. NOVEMBER 25. 1863 j ■■ Fire!” exclaimed a voice which i tveognized j as that of the lieutenant. "But the sharp report of the carbines rang om u|)on the air, I dropped quickly to the bottom of the skiff, and the storm of lead passed Aver me and flew hissing into the water beyond. ■■ X now sprang to myjeet. and with a shout of .defiance seized the only oar the boat contained, and adopting the sculling process, sent the light vessel shooting through the water like n rocket. Assisted by the tide, the skiff flew over the waters Iso rapidly that before'the men could reload f was ! out of range. ■• Half an hour afterward I arrived safely in camp, and was just in time to take my plauc in the ranks, for, having heard the firing, and sup posing i hat our picket was attacked, the officers had ordered the men under arms. A message | from the front,; however, must soon have eon j vinced them that this was nor the case; and the i men were allowed to “ break ranks” and disperse i to their quarters. | “ Well, Com." continued my "friend, “ this 1 isn’t the end of the matter ; for I saw Bill at the. j battle of Big Bethel. Yon probably remember j that during the fight, a troop of rebel cavalry at tempted to make a dash upon ns. hut were driven ! back ?” I answered in the affirmative, and my friend continued: “At the bead of that rode Bill or more prop erly speaking, the rebel captain. I saw him as plainly as I now see you. But it was only for an instant. He rumbled from his horse the next moment, with his head turn from his shoulders by a shot from one of our brass pieces. At his side rode a rebel, who upon seeing the captain fall, drew a pistol, aimed at bis own heart and fired. The horse becoming unmanageable, galloped into our lines, dragging the rebel after him, the foot of the dead soldier having become entangled in the stirrups as he fell. As the steed dashed wildly about the field the rebel's foot became disengager! from the stirrup, and he fell to the eartfi a few yards from the spot where I was standing. His jacket had became disarranged aud torn around his breast, revealing to my astonished gaze the beautiful but blood-stained bosom of a female. I advanced and looked down upon the corpse, closely scrutinizing the features. The face was familiar. Once seen it could never he forgotten. It was the lace of the captain’s mistress, the lovely quad roon." feCEAK, Kindly.— Parents should always speak kindly to their chldren when retiring or going to bed. Then, more than any other time, it is im portant that children should have their hearts softened by voices and looks of tenderness and kindness. They should go to rest with thoughts of love and affection for their parents, and grati tude and love fo their Heavenly Father for his goodness to them. How can we expect children to say their prayers acceptably, and with a bless ing to themselves, if they are required or per mitted to retire to bed ill-humored or vexed by a frown or unkind word by their parents? And yet many parents send their children to bed. not only in bad feeling, but often hungry, as punish ment for some offence. No course can possibly lie more objectionable. Not long since 1 spent an evening at the house of a friend, with several other friends and acquaintances. This friend hud two interesting and lovely boys, about ten and twelve years of age, who very much enlivened the company with their innocent prattle and child like hilarity. About halt past eight o'clock the father called these boys to him, near where I'was sitt jng, and taking each one by the band he said very kindly and pleasantly to them : “My children, it is lime for you to retire. — You will feel dull and heavy at school to-morrow if you sit up any longer." They both hung their heads for a moment; then both with a pleasant smile kissed their father, then their mother, and then took leave of the company. A lady, one of the company who. sat near ns, expressed great surprise that ” the little boys should retire so willingly, when they ap peared so happy with the company and the mnsic!" The gentleman replied:— I always speak kindly to my children, and they never disobey. To-morrow I shall say to them, “ My children, I was much pleased that you re tired so willingly last evening; and your condnet was very highly approved by Mrs. ——, who saw yon retire so plehsently and quietly.” “ This said he,” “ is their reward, my approbation and the ap probation of their friends.” Sensible.—Dying for love is a great mistake ; whatever may be your misfortune in an affair de arur, “ never say die.” If you must do something in the dying line, dye your whiskers or your mous taches. That may help the case, aid is not so expensive. The following “ pome” tells it very sensible story of;an unfortunate “ lover:" Distracted with care, for Phillis the fair. Young Damon, her lover, resolves in dispnir. No longer to languish. Nor bear so much anguish ; Bnt, mad with love, to a precipice goes, Where a leap from above would soon finish his woes; ; . But when he came there, beholding how steep The sides did appear, and the botton how : deep, He sadly reflected, That a lover dejected, A new love may get; But a neck that's once broken can never be set. And that he could live but as long as'he could, And that he could die whenever he would:; And how cruel poever his torments might grow, He scorned to endeavor to finish them so; And then he very wisely conclii- Ded that he would not do What he was going for to go to do. “Too SMABy.—We know of aman in a cer tain western city who was very fond of docks, but, on account of the number be bought at market, was not onfreqOently troubled with tongh ones. One day, wishing for a goodly number, he- went to the poultry! dealer and said he was an afflicted boarding house keeper—that his boarders : were ravenous, especially when things were i yonng and tender. I r ' “Now,” said! our character with a wink, “I want you to pick ont all the tough ones—alftho tongh ones—yotaWgot.” The delighted dealer finds no difficulty' in pick ing ont a nnnher of tough ones. ’ ’ “Are these dll the really tongh one* vou’ve got?” -| ’ : i’: “AUI” was the reply. “ Then,” saiAour epicure, “I’ll take all. of the other lot, if you please.” | Artemas Ward thinks it is a hard thing ! not to have a wife—no gentle heart to get up in the morning and make the fire. | THE RIDE OP THE WOUNDED BRIGADE. B. F. Taylor, the anriv correspondent of the Chicago Journal, writes (rota , the [Army of the Cumberland ofanight’s ride of the!wounded Bri gade, after the battle of Chickamauga: They were loaded upon the; train j two platform cars were paved with them, forty ori a car. Seven boxes were so {lacked you could notj set your foot down among them as they lay. Thje roofs of the cars were tiled with them, and away we pounded, all day, all night, into the next morning, and , then Nashville. Half of the boys had not a shred ol’ a blanker, and it rained steadily, pitilessly. What do you think of platform cars for a trium j plial procession whereon to bear wounded heroes ;nv the tune of “ the soldier’s return from the war ?” j Well, wliat I would come at! is this; the stores i of the Sanitary Commission and the gifts of 1 I'W’h ladies as- are! now, 1 believe, ; making yoitr city a Bethel—a place of angels—kept the boys’ hearts up through all those weary, drizzling hours. It is midnight, and the attendants are going through the traiq with coffee; graepd with milk and sugar—think of that!—two ifresh, white, crisp crackers apiece, and a little taste of fruit. Did your tiands prepare it, dear lady;? I hope so, far the little Iwlance in your favor is set down in . the ledger ot God. ’ ' But here they come with a canteen ; will you go with them? climb through that window into a car black as the Hole of Calcutta. But mind where you step —the floor is one InVcr wounded soldiers. As you swing the round, I land ages show white and ghastly where; bandages, bandages j and now anil then a rusty spit of blood. What wbrn out, faded faces look up at yon ! They rouse like wounded creatures bunted down to their lairs (as vom come.) The tin enps arc filled! On we go. out all .one window, in lit another, stepping gingerly a along mangled hnlbs. We reach the platfonii carsjcreaking with their drenched, chilled, bruised burdens, and 1 mtist tell you—it’s a .shame,: though—that one poor fellow among them lay with a taittcred blanket pinned around him; he was liberally sane calotte! How is this? I said, “ Haven’t got tny descriptive list —that's what's the matter,” was the reply. Double allowance all around to the occupants of the platform, and wo retrace our steps to th.e rear of the train. Yon should have heard the ghost of ,n cheer that rose aud fluttered: like h feeble bird, as we wont back.' It was theitatoat fonehisg vote of thanks ever offered ; there was a little flash np of talk for a minute, and all sobsidetl into silence and darkness again. Wenrily wore |the hours and heavily hammered the train. At , intervals the guard traversed the roofs of the cars, and pulled in the womout hoys that had jarred jdoivn to the edges, pulled them in towards, the middle of the cars without waking them! : .Occasionally one slips over the eaves, I am told, and is miserably crushed. What a homeward march is ai) this ;to set a tune to; 1 By some error in apportionment, there was not quite coffee enough for all on idcck. and two slips of hoys on the roof of the car -where: I occupied a copter, were left without a drop. Whenever we stopped—and that was two hours thlere and three hours here, waiting for this and fcjr that—there was no hurry yon know—and the side-door was sliiled hack in its groove, I saw’ two, hungry faces stretched down over the car’s edge, ind heard two feeble voices crying, “We have had nothing np here since yesterday noon, we two—jthere are only us two hoys—please give tfs something. Havn’t you got any hard tack?” 1 heard that pitifnll ap peal to the officers in charge, and sijw these faces till they haunted me, and to-day I remember those plaintive tones as if I were hearing a dirge I felt in my pockets and haversack fora cracker; but found nothing. I really hated myself lor hav ing eaten my dinner, and not saved it for them. A! futher search was rewarded with six crackers from the Chicago Mechanical Bakery, and watch ing my chance when Petelf back wqs turned—the cook and a smutty autocrat was Peite in his way —I took a sly dip-with a basin into the coffee boiler. As the car gave a lufch in the right direc tion, I called from the wifidqw, “ijoys!” I heard them crawling to the edge, and handed up the midnight supper. “Bully for you!” they’said, and 1 saw them no more. When the train reached Nashville, and I clambered down tb solid ground again, I looked np at the roof: it Was bare. God grant the -boys are with their mothers to-night. And how do you like the ride of 'the Wounded Brigade ? The Committee Meeting. —A philosophical old gentleman was one day passing a new school house erected somewhere toward the setting-sun borders of our gloiious Union, when,bis attention was suddenly aroused by a crowd of persons gath ered around the door, ije inquired of a boy, whom he met, what was going bn. : “Well, nothin’’cept the;sknle committee, and they're going’in.” •V)li, cammittee meets to-dav, eh? What tor ?•” . ' ' " Well,"continued the bby, “yonsee Bill, that's our biggest boy, got mad the other day at the teacher, and sp he went all: over and gathered dead cats. Nothin' bnt cats and cats. Oh, it was orful them cats.” j “Pshaw! what have the oats to do with the school-committee ?” i “ Now, well, yon see, .Bill kept a bringin'. cate and cats; always pilin’ ’em op yonder (pointing to a large pile, as large in extent as a pyramid, and considerably aromatic) and he piled them and piled them. Nothin’ but cate, cats!” v ; “Nevermind, my son, what Bill did.- What ha* the committee met for ?” , “Then Bill gut sick handlin' ’em, and every body got sick nosin’ ’em ; : but Bill got madder and didn’t give np, but kept a pilin' up t re cate, and—” “Tell me what the committee are. holding a meeting for?” ’ ‘ - ) “Why, the skule committee are going to meet to hold a meting to say whether they 11 move the skule-honse or them cate." The old gent evaporated iihmediately. : Comiso or Age. —Why ayouth is said to be “of age” when twenty-one years old, very few can tell, except “ so saitli the law.” In the early periods of English a child was considered to be of age and a- man when he was able to bear arms and protect himself. But this period varied at different times, depending very much on the char acter of the arms in use. jAt; first these were light and easily handled, and then the time for the com ing of age was fixed at twelve years. .After the 'l'entons were hronght into collision with the well armed Romans, a child of this age was of little use ih battle, and the period of comi ig of age was fixed at fifteen yean. And 'when heavier armor was introduced, It was extended to to enty-oneyears. An Anglo-Saxon child became entitled to the pos session of his property at ten years if age, but he amid not deal with it until ha was fifteen, and this Was at the age at which the Anglo-Saxon at least tit the latter period of their Mstoiy. were declared to have attained their majority. • i;- : gar Why uan attorney' like a uinisier?—Be canse he studies the tkw and profit :.' • ■ n i array of articles, the rows ef busy shopmen, quite overpowered our good friend, who scattwly kpew'vririit tb do.- Her “ beau” obstinately refused to go Jn, hutioitetal ahont the door. The shopmen being .all busy at the time, the yonng woman was obliged fo remain standing, a few .moments. A* a dEqiPHr fellow with a gold watch chain and flourishing whiskers, came bowing and smiUrig' op lo the blushing customer, with: • < iv “ Any body waiting on you, madam?” The color deepened on her chCekfe as «b e hesi tated,and drew a long breath, till Anally, wUh a nod of her head towards the door, she falifcred out; " Yes" sir; lie is." The Lawyer and the Docks—Them is not a more common offence against the laws of com men courtesy (we might say, oftentimes,, gam mon deceney) than is practiced by a certain class of lawyers now-a-days in the examination of- Wit nesses upon the stand. Now and then, hpwerer, an impertinent lo'vyer ‘‘gets It back” in snch a way that lie is tain to “call the next witness*" Of snch was the following, not as yet “put down in the books," but well worthy of being transferred from the impers " ' 1 I At a late term of the Court of Sessiona l man tyas brought up by a farmer, accused of stealing some ducks. .■ “ How dp yon know that they ore yonr; docks? ” asked the defendant’s counsel." ''Oh, Ishdnld know them replied the farmer: and he went on to describe. different peculiarities. ■ • ■ K “Why," soid the prisoner’s counsel, ‘theseducks can’t be such a rare breed; I have tome much like tliem in my own yanj." ; “ *■ “That’s not unlikely, sir,” replied the tanner; “they are not the only ducks 1 have bad stolen lately!’’ ' ■ “Call the aert Witness." “ Why don't you go into business ?,”.said a prosperous merchant to an ofi schoolmate,'who was down in the world and couldn't get a sitoation ns a book-keeper. , • . ... “ I suppose you know what 1 commenced oh,” resumed the merchant, with something” stern ness in his tone and air. ;• “ Yes—nest lo nothing.” ! “ Well, Why can't yoo do the same ?" “I don’t know, why, but I can’t?" ‘•Did you ever tiy?” ■ t “ No—l thought it wag no use;" ■ “Tbat's'it. Jus( one half of the un6prtnnate people in this world think - rt it is no me" Why:—‘' The whole of one'g success centers in die act of trying to succeed. “ Never give up the ship!” ’ tOT" Fun should be cultivated as a find art, for it is altogether a fine thing. Who ever knew a “ funny man” to be a bad one? Or, dh ‘the'con trary, is not he, nine times out of ten generous, human, sociable and good? To be sum be is. Fun—js a great thing. ’lt smobths! the 1 rough places of fife, makes the scatters sunshine and Sowers whereeva' Wn go gives the world a round jolly fry all the girls as June roses, and manUnij oye .of the best families out. We go in for 'ftih: the iw who won’t cultivate it must keep awav from us. .WWe like fine writing'when it is ap plied, so we appreciate tffo following bbfst 'of' ebb; quence in one of our exchanges: T * “ As the ostrich Uses both legs and wihfi'willeai the Arabian coarser bounds in bpr thq winged lightning leape from the heavens when the thunderbolts are loosed, so does when a big deg is after him; ” ,'i r : • A gentleman riding through Sydenham, saw a board with Cottage 'ter Snlh’l tainted on it.. Ashe was always readyfora L ,pWis*ju yoke, and seeing a woman in front of tbp - bones He' stopped and asked hef very politely,” “ thi cottage was ta sall ?" “ Jnw ns Wnm§n comes who can raise die wind," njaS the, quiet'ie ply, v,f How to Get Hid ,of Yocb Co*au<—Hub them over with ,' toasted cheese and IctyenrfeW hangout of bed for a night or twb, that the nHoe may .nibble them. If the mke do thdr dntythe remedy will be sufficient. ■ , . ‘ tT’A strong-minded woman is apt to.marry a weak-minded man. Providence th"' rple shall bare bat the average amount of *wecn them. " ' C9* Feel a noble pride |d living within fpiu means, that you - will not be hustled off to a cheerless hospitalin yohr last ; W'lt takes a yeiy tflte mm&to panion for a woman' of genius, Dot not a vorv greatone. ' ■ ;, m.yv iw-.& modesty », %>, of female excellence, the' richest gem iii tse ofa dem bf their hcmbt-. ’’ fßmfFv* ft t*d. j. ’ : - ' *•* '-T-Uiel —1 Ja iU:jL S >J' :^ ©*lf you want to gef jm«;» I |»i hMee hire yoa^lf :or4 tjFWbta is &i window tike A«tar ? When tti « St m&a ■ v*#. 4-«4 n'- • ..iWi., tie** - -iiKlt *W 'r i: ,v £ '■%»