MISS &&&&&£.?
Biad€i?y 5
ctte% - t4i
jaw*
;
g^^Wß!?asSr
wrtnf nflil laK
fawwdqMewd i.._
425SRS£^2kSe?
£:^“^3S£*'£ :
F«S3!wl -** ^lw, i'
4- JUdm* F. i.
' ' **■ .
*mtn laswy. jfV. . „
" * **?*•**. **** Wh»4ioe. j»*,, .
u.lT*T *!**—*»*■*>
pbwfcSftJS?^'
» £ i
. ?
ir* oi2 -
y §4 *
■ * » .*
R w , *s;f 5:1
i ||:s <«|-; :
H *3 a. JEfJi
I -a*li
I S| 2=si~
■- §2aS|i
1 ,£? s f - x £
ffilW.Re^s
HIM po<=c-f -
.Jk w-Spf | .
3jd*g|t
I!-**! a *
3f li U a*|2l;
g*s Si
AUD: EVEK OXWJUffi:
EP BY STEP!
IfftEBSIONED DESIRfiRT<»
m*y H aanw ud/thr V
£,22?* ,*22 ‘2° tb T_^ sf *»«>SSi;
«M*w>3»Ur C r»wj unr ctuk jrf
KbS G O'O DS, .
Jil th.lnctt.jMti,
11/ONABLK PATTERNS,
L/rr «“*** «•<»*
s mmU t*e too vxdicoß tocwuecift
ikßuf uf pure, fresh and chtqt
S & PROVISIONS
oaKprtJtur,. n,
“ * #*•* "» *b«» I m rwndar aUariKSuu
tygirtry product taken in «*d|M*e*.r
kfctift xoukiit prfc* «Howaa. '
• wtracr «f Snnir mi ScUsa atrwt*. Can
xn»u|[saBUH'
fcylS. JBM,
ACOB WEIS,
i AND CONFECTIONER.
■TMoxa teas. Atkjwa. i*j_ ■
CONSTANTLY OX HAND
iAJD. CAKES. CANPIES
KAXB. of Us on ammOuxoTK. wtucb i.>
m, Malr <T ratal! «t aw D»« nw,h.
to, WBJ3SS ZttCHS- ndi an
as, DEMONS, FIKE-AryiSS.
SES, BAISIXS, KITTS, &C_ &c..
iP ttajraaapaetire aipanuii.
BAKED TO ORDER.
■■iniiß, cm short notice and is the'neat
flTthe art.
*r and face a& nook and y<m «rjn fii.i
tbempoe cm be imtcbaaaa <Mw.
■in and Sheet Iroaj Ware.
POUTING. &G.
& WOULD RESPECT
tfcni Ae dturew*
Wtefanpi eanatanßy oa
•f •,**» Airhir. «#fer
IP all atyb* mod seswl to evt Hoe
B(1A be wiD kD at Jot pricet. aa nww-
9r*atea<aln«c ««ek of 7Sm mot Sheet
farc&laa^fajaw-
Wnflua'iil tb, r’gka of sale In Kairmanr.'
‘VEO &AVBA&E OTCTTFER,
iKh aoKh only to be mb to be qpfame
neemei brenty tuner. hm*ir«r te
i marbw
■ttpwrinn jwßd jmttoMP » a*QCTCso.
FETTINGER’S
ii Xews Agency.
L, No. 7. My IN STREET
BOONS. BI ASK BOOKS.
&% CONFECTION ARKS
RS & TOBACCO,
'O3IOXB IK GEKEAT VARIETY
XSU&.I OJf JBLO.D.
YD & CO.,
jujvojtjl, nu
iTON, JACK & CQ..
BOLuruLTsmzts.■rj'-
NEEfiB,
AtL, John turn. Jack £/C*.”.)
fs ON THIS PRINCIPAL
b:Maar aa* o*ofemale. OaSealW
mulaud 00 dapeebe, pogeSto jeateeawL
ar «te tea. «U> ktnMt nf ate
’SA&peAJ.
t- atea lie tMaaaaSteS^^^^r
'•tewkaaflSatiESßK''
trmL -■■ -
SeSaSat^*^
w%iSE^yss?S^SSSt*V« i
»r FRIENDS WQCfJ) DO
' Siapm <be date ■■fSbai*’ 111 **'
scm«ooe« **”■
' Cee.of neaaaaai-OlMaßbWe-
K.at * -
*l> LAND ODA
Oaxte
AT NoOOßineGP^
tetew -tf v .nit'iwt* *
!lES. A LA
iw nitHMau afflianitflMl
** *€-' ' Mr.
AT, TOOTH, BHAV»O,
'lailnUi tetaiil*! 1 " f-" ■
'iL, eoLmmm, *iom-
-McCEIUI & BEEN,
VOL. 8.
NEW OOOJOS.
THE undersigned would res}*ectfuli_v in
f«mi thv A&e*mA *M& «ttmnut4iug omui
., v. *bat iif lum j*Mt returned fnm *be jSMt. where He ias
*
fall and winter goo os,
V, i.irh, Ivr «yitr T gtMlity«»d prror./Caebotin
;ili . i*«*ck »f cuorxry. Ilk- stock **;inocL larger tUau
~.T<"iolLrc, «IhJ a* it k <joite jui object. iu tr»e*u- exri£mg
time*. for ererr one U* jmrchese nrft>*rc they vmi ; get
; ue Hest Goods and at the jEowest Prices,
H .. W unld say that Ik- can and will Hdll low, if uoi *
lirti*- lower that) any other liuoi* iu thl*jj»i*ce Hr wishe*
uli to oJI aud hot hk> stock before- elaewbere,
. I<f b«- fcitdft tamfidtioi be -eas affier iadasbsmeai# which will
.jntv C4«U|»etitu»i*'. Hin.ioock coihttfie tif ,
LADIES’ DUESS GOODS of evert deHonjiriou.
MEN AM' BOY?> WINTEK WEJOI.
LAIUKS AND MISSED' DfcHSc SHOES.
SLEN AS I) BOYS' BOOTSI ASJ> SHOES,
M£K*£ HALF BOSK,
WOMEN'S AN© HlffißT WOOL HOSE.
ii aT> ANI> OAFS, * -I-
JSLEACHEP and UjrSLEAGffiti) XTDSLIK
GINGHAJIS AND HEAVY DiOlifiNGS.
lie vrill «Hi Liutkw Swrod. Ueeied Buboes «t
Kfj -
iWt* '..±~ ".T»<iJU5O
raLMOUA'L SKIRTS, Terv ],*w, • j
GEOCEKIES, I
Whin Kb<? SagAr. £k>Oatffeee.|Sjmps, T«kui 4c/
.uni • vuritbiuc tlmt m anukSr htft in A ftr Goods
.viiii u* duifcp a* the clHta|tc«t. J. ju EI*RAK3Ki»K.
AiDtuua. lift. T. IWiR.
AVOID THE NEXT DRAFT!
There ls a pßEVAiuxtj ex-
CITfiWE.VT t)»e jM*upie ;of AiUMMtu ami vV
.iiiry ab->ur THE SBCONIK DJIAFT—rw> mocit tUnmi
: lie Braft a* fur making lit** Three Btaufrett to jmj} cs.eai.j
:.uh. Ail pJUriotic'! Ini cbootie nrtlnjri t« t*Uiy til luaue
« it n their beloved ones, fur their tiittii to riek^
iueir fives in hloudr uar. Now. toi Irrutg the niamtr
; a i lose. «<• will iuforzu the public th*t by Itujinjr their
. ui the*«li£EN STORE, Comer uf liraucli *ud Auuir
:n*tii. tttsi Ahooua. kept by GEIS-4 <.X»g they will
SAVE THE THREE HI7KDKEP
•‘ tdiurt tutu;. Ti»rv h4v«* J.u»t rrtTejyef] u i»;rg»- aiul well
- sun* uf DH¥ GvOKlf AND GROCERIES, which
!'.< y sue Hailing fut Cmdi at the iowt**i likiug price-.
A taige M-tuinuen: of LADIES' OUATS AND CIRCC
VAUS, rangiijg in price from $4A(< to ’^LWO.
The attenrhiii of the pahlic i- p&rticslnriy drawn u> tlm
t;ict selling Brown and White Muslin {r un
i s io Hi aents: Oaiicoe*: from 32? a . to|2o rt*g Dehunes
i.-oui IS centi jierjnrd. \
They have alwavs os hand a large jUiaurtiuvnT of MEN
AND BOTiS' CXAiTHINS. HATS, aAPSJIiOOTS. SI1(»ES,
:;ud. in f.<ct. everyrthmg kept in » first-d*** Store. -
AlukiuL i Uct. 7. I?W».
CITY DRUG STORE.
D‘\- E- H. REIGAKT wouid respect
fully cite citizens of A lti«*ua oik! kut-
. •iiudiug cooutzy. that he ims recently i.o:rcliajH**f tlie
V■ iia-fttore of Beriin i. C'-’.. on Vagsiiiii kir**»-r. 'j»j"*«ite
i > t-*'ilurdwan* shire.
His. Drugs are FresL aijid I'utv.
si : lo- h<i{Hn» by strict ntteation to bußiues*. to merit a
;tui> of public palrtuhtge. 1
i til; and cxamine''his slt»ek. Hehuscoftstaiitlriiu iiau*!.
DIU’GS.
MEDICINES ana CHE-VUCAIS.
' -'•'l Tt.ILKT SVAIS. nMVVMkIiY. ULTSiH. EX
iiLASi. FTTTT, PAIXTK 'OILS.'
CAJUiOX OIL AXJ> LAjfJ'X
s'onojrs, cjgams. M
' rrrjf artidr ur.bai.ti Lrji' in v f'i rst I’ruc A', nr.
HERE WISES A.VD Li^l-OHS
for uiedicirwil rhc.
DOMESTIC GRAPE WINE—I’CRE—WAIOiANTED
I’HTXJCJjjrs' rjixw juj>tioys
a- • urutely cumpuanded. « all houre of ti»r day or night.
Alumua, Sept. 30.1$GR
Victory Won!
r pHE-Subscribers would rt-spectfoilv
I. anuuwuoe U> the citizenfe of Altootu and vicinity,
tim: shey have jnsr retomed from the Eatf with their
FALL AND WINTER STOCK OP
HA,TS & GA|>S,
BOOTS Sc SHOES.
Thuir muck uf HATS & CAT'S &«»• l>«a> «-■
f w -t«« With great tart, asm with of saitmg all
\viu» may xkrur them with their patrtujagti Their line
Ihatis wad Shoe* » complete. . ;
Hush- LAPSES' MISSES' and CHILD LEX'S SJSOES
nre of City make, and warranted. Their Balmoral
t ■ if Ladies ; and Misses, are Just the: tjTmig fur a ei
weather and saving health
Thankful to the public far their patronage
heretofore, they hope u» merit a rontitjuahee <tf U»e same,
stfff Mi AT. next dour to ftowthazTt*
SMITri t °
AJuhiu*. Bat l± IS6£L
Hams: hams: hams:—re
* large iut af C&cruMed Suyur-curtat] Ilm.i
-"1 t!»r in««f Irnudn in morltrt. Ev«*rv out? i» poanu*-
T-edai • * i ItirCUET'j?
MACKEREL— XOti. 1. 1 AND 3,
in all «iif d. package*. ww. azifl «ach package
warranted, josi reccfr«3 and fur Hale luv Wc
• FIiUCHEY.
'■pEAS! TEAS! TEAS I —FfiTFCHEY
'A. is «eUipc Teas imperial to Uij ever offered AD
tnutuu Tb«3’ are uf adulteration. or mix
tcre af*Bjiind.
A If OTHER LARGE TOT [OF tTHE
ajL CKI<KBHATF.I> JKR&ET HAMSjo«I reudved itud
Jar wot* Ml FIIITCHEY’S
/ IfiEAJi CRACKERS I A |fresh sap-
V J plj oftheae deCcioo* cracker* Juki and for
«fc FfUTCHIT’?
IF YOU want good coffee,
pore l»e«t of Chocolate, StxbjU aad Supwa.
'* raMCHJcrs.
Boston large
sapplji of the**. delickrtpi cracker® last reoerreti
,'.udfor«ale|»r ' FJLITCSJCY-
t'XTRA FAMILY FLOUR, FROM
•Mjfltbe Ckire, ojybattd mid furi nie m ior
i
( COFFEES. SUGARS, AND
«f a£l gntfk*. isnd At reasonable prfo
I i k BARRELS PURE CTDI
I*l GABJaet received and for «&k low
m
PXTRA FAMILY FLOUR,
-i ain Back* oipreaalj for laul} v a«e at
WORRELL’S PREPARED
* * jmrt received and. for aaW* J
SUPERIOR CREAM CHEESE AT
IT’ naircHirfi;
J BARRELS PURE WHITE LARD
~T jiat rscgrad utid formle at . |HU(JJOHIT’S
. PRITCHEY'S NEW STORE), earner
A i.fCaratiM sadWirgicui St*. ’ !
A ll styles carpeting and
-Ajk-. OiK3oticB can lie. found at iITKSIDIAK‘#.
"V’EW WINTER READY MADE
Ctuthiug }*Mt rwwHrod Ml JUUpGSAAJTS :
A FINF ASSORTMENT OFOVKK {
liljOftUS (U i» twin: «t XASQjSH AS'£ ?
TJHLK ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
«. B. »r*'BVK. - • - - M. C. TIFpTC
TJUTt'li* ASi> PEO **l
loved ulwxtr cm horwtoack. cam never be shaken j
Inr anr tfiAttequent e&nbhr trial. 1
Th» is a Hemv-eecret. All men knov H* Irat I
l*rli\*e it has never been cnmmimicated in this
jwblk* and Tinreaerved maimer to thetnugiag sex.
fcunec the firw iff Januarr last I have known m
tuv own small ejTT , iik > of acqoahitunre of some
iwemr-four men trbohave Pilfered for Hfe. -driven
to it on It bjr the disenchftßtxn£ sigriit of their mis
guided sweet-hearts. ' v
One «.rfdieK‘ unfortunate men is now *n the In
tone Ahvium. n raring mamac*: his sweet-bean
npjiwmxl :o him licit «Uv on luirsebaet. i»uf «he
was also wearing & ’ nnm'# /wit-—Gib last atrocitv
; wa.v too much for a brain weakening already bv
‘ the discovery that his lady-love plaved theacscor
: dcoii. And itt a single week he sneemnbed: and
j now in his maniac's cell he fontiiiualh trails -out
t tor fab- darling JSaJiy Ann. and l»egs with tears in |
; his etes. for the doctorto prescribe for h<*r some- i
thing dial wili cure die «de-«addle fever.
! This episode uhs lieeti long, too long, and i now i
I return to my urlgiaal theme, aliout wumes and i
; machine work. Give a woman charge of a I<xh>-| musket ties down on the Misssßipfß rarer
' <:omotive warranted to run lorn miles an hour. ! ar£ **qifx>*ed to be rather large, and tolerably
I and she'll hung a ]k»uuo }*ot full ofdimib-on I ferocious lam not prejjared to believe the store
i the safety-valve, and in lour hours she’ll break | liie *?“ who,caine to look for his cow one day,
i the engine ino* - M iron and scrap*." I ttld &»**& tbe ' skeleton on the ground and a large
; iryfcjg to gel fifty milt* an hour out * her. Give j on “J (adjacent tree jacking his teeth with
| a woman a iuij»iaincy of the Great Kasiem, war- J aue boms. But I will say that it would
* ranted to cross the ocean in nine davs, and she'd i a man gifted with considerable imagination
j send boat, and all on board, including herself, to j U) exaggexate the prowess of those Southern swamp
I the bottom, tiring to run from Liverpool to New | We were discussing one night in a
I York in fom-eight hours less than the regular ; ewr Orleans when one gentleman of the
i time, ' " ' j party told the fpflowhjg anecdote:
(A eiy. well, women are .similarly, likewise in j There *as once a man in the city who in
tbfc same manner, after the same sort, given to ; on h that he was mnsketo-proof, and who
perform the same wav with the other machines. :°® tu Ife j down in the worst place that
Sewing machim-s for example.: in fact, opeciallv j found ;and let musketoes bite him for an
I sewing maciiiii-.-. * I bom for SIQ. 'My friend hearing him make the
| Jo ioil ihr *n;ih, sewing machines are the sub- I took him at his word, and with several
i jeci of th is aniclr. ' ! o%*s. they both started off tor a nice marshy
i I've go* a wife; a bran-new article—white bou- ■ pbiee between the town and hake Fonchartrain
j net, while vail, long stockings. hou|is. curb; cm- : a rt ? u l ar muskeio paradise-. Arrived on the
j broidered things, in the way of clothes: worked i chap took off his shirt and
| other tilings, U: the way of clothes.; in fai t, more ; <roal * biy down on Ins face. The iuaeels came
I clothes of evi-.y conceivable variety than I t-ver ; do "" 1 - in crowds, lighted on fa is back, and luting
j'dreamed could belong U> am one w oman—bin If the man scratched he would lose
I I’ve got her. ail compere. Upvr 1 go: her 3 won- ; llis even squirming was prohibiied.—
i der. In lac: 1 think riuit when anv man regards : ul stood it like a Trojan; didn’t give utter
i eomempiatively that the niosl wonderful -work of ! *tnce to a angle grunt. Half an hour tuisaed. The
i the Creator, a * wife, his soul • unwt be filled with ! B rou ? l<3 wa f covered whb goxged mufiketoes, who
| admiration for himself, as a wonderfully clever fel- f ' u< ~kcd uiitiJ they were as drunk as judges, and
j iuw. to win jsQch a contrivance, or else he must lit i were about in a most discreditable jUyle.
| overcome with sepreme thankfulness at his own c l aaT£cr °f *0 hour ensued: more imoxicaled
: good lm*k. suckers, amd die man was unmoved and indfferent
'■ Ivc nut i reused wondering, how I got mv ■ a Suddenly one of .the gentlemen; took
I wife: but I’ve go: her, all ctrtnjiitJte. as said be- rwo OT riiret at kis cigar, and then
I fort: and ifyoc don’t believe it, there sl»e is— ; on tbje musketo chaps hack. First he
j No. by Georgethere she isn't. gone then he squirmed, then he yelled end
• doim town to get some screw* or needles, or some- ' up.
• thing, liir her sewing machine, * uave count* across a considerable number of
; V* laic sbcV gillie, I"ii siiv nniciiinp ri-st c,c.r\ \ life, lie remarked, serarciiiiig
i nii.rrit-d iiuac - thought, hut no out has said he- ! w one “Uiid arid into hi* shin at the
? fore. The nue.: ustuuuJing jliiag in die world to ; * ame rime - "M’l **w yon gentleman, I never
; a mouesi ytmut: man, is to wake tip in die morn- i h-like dial iiefore. He wasn't maeh
| iug after you aln'f*a hatheia: anv more, and .see mn ‘' fiendenien. lie continned; "bin when it
■ a )edr of wumeu's stipjiers on the Hoot, a pair of ‘ l ‘' lilt. pciiilfitDen. that muskelo was a
| long slockiup- on die chair, and a heap of SD^”®’-
■’ moUu ii s other dressiiq; mysienes., tilled uj, in , t>s '. e- :D übllars and went home gtrum
; places where vou luivc heeu used w seeing only 1 ' , “ ■‘ UL ‘ " oen lie made that ;ar he! he hadn'i
| hoots and empty cigar boxes.. Don’t leli yom- ! tK>'biusft.le bees bem' smuggled m/’
| «rivvs, for h isn't a good thing to .let them know K not wtuoso state.
J tiati . vo “’« ever i>eeu otherwise than in a state of • In the good old times before the war writes a
thetnoKipeneut and diorongh self-}ioseBsiun v : , good edd friend in the lower regions, the candi-
Howerer, u, come Uck lor the third or uiore'th j dates for office in the southern country were accas
time, to the sewing madiine question. , tomed to resort to strange dodges to coadltaie die
Mr wife —my u;}t —my a rift —mt wax—listen j people and get their votes. One of them, in the oid
to that—Ml WIFE 11 .’—my wife wanted a sew- \ dominion, while ttumpin& d(e out skins of his dLs
mg machine. Of coarse, if she had asked for a i trim, came earlr on/moming otiona clearing
small locumo!i ve-engine. and a circular railroad | where a solitary m/n was hoeing: aii^rin..
rotmd the parlors, she should have had them, or J from his home, hie todt an mm hoe s-t-vtinpr bv
rather would iiare baa them, and so I bought that ; and commenced working very at the
sewoiig maciiinc. and wiuu is worse 1 paid for it. i same time delicate! r hinting who he was? and for
If I hadn’t ;aud forip I cotdd make them take i what pmpose he had come. The man. however, was
it back ; hut a- it is. 1 cherish no such delusive ! obtuse, not seeming conscious ofhis visitor's design
hopes, and can only sit down here disconsolately, j till jns: as the smi was sinking beneath the horiio n,
and warn your hnshauds not to go and do likewise. 1 when he suddenly brightened up and said -
3 Mt. or rather her sewing machine came—then j Wall I reckon vou’re mighty good at boein'
succeeded four days how to mate it go-dour days and if I was only over in Old Virgin nr I'd vote
of the intermittent presence of a woman from the I for vou. ' 4
faefotr. who was sent to - teach the machine" as J The dismayed politician did not let the grass
the proprietor remarked, .bn: whose mission on grow under his horse's feet till bt was safely om of
earth it seemed to me to be drive my dear wife : North Carolina, where he liad labored Lard ah
wild, and set lier to breaking needles on mi- | dav for naught.
cltine. I
The ttusnent you give a woman charge of any- The machim-makere of coarse se{] needles and j
thing that will do any work, that very minute evetyihing used about their infernal machines.— i
Utat very woman begins to drive that working 1 The woman that " teaches the machine,"! verily -
thing to its very utmost capacity, lie it an animal , isdieve. has a heavy percentage on all tlie needles
or a mhdpne: and the chances are about “equaU sold by the firm. The woman would come ; ma- A trawler in the State of Illinois some rears !>eats at zbe Table.—lt was hot a short
liiat siie 1! drive the animal to the verge of a quad- chine, under her management, would run perfectly 1 ago come to a lone log hut on the prairie ’near | “ e ‘? * “ nesrdle * Coltuahus, that the
mpedal gnive, or break the machine imo shivered ; veil. Woman would go awav ; wife would in' ‘ Cairo, and there halted. He went into the house. stopped at a small village, not a htmdred
splinters in tifo &aemj» to do three days’ work Ito make acquaintance with machine. Machine l lt was a wretched aflair—an empty necking box the plane. ; Tne conductor cry
m twelve boms. a 1 would got restive, and. in a fit of spite, go to work jfw a table, while two or three chairs and dtsa- in ~? ul: ** mlanten -ftk dltmer.”
Every jerstfo who has ever observed a human j and break all us needles, one after the other— j greeahle stools gnmed the reception room, the 'Die jaissengers, of whom there happened to he
female uriying a horse, will perfectly symjiathiie } also, would break some important screw, or spring j dark walls of wliidh were further ornamented’ with a rnsbed into die. dining- apartment
whir the idea that I here set forth. Evety woman ior strap, or hand, or wedge, or wheel Basalt 1 a display of tin ware, and a broken shelf article or lll3d took their seals at the table, one of them depo
who drireis ahorse, hot only drives that horse to 1 would be rims; Wife, in a passion of indignation, i two. The woman; was cning in the corner, and
the very toj> of b b speed, flogging him up hill, headache, chagrin, passion, impatience and spleen, : the man, with tears in his eyes and tape' in his ' t f lc usual nine the landlord passing around to moke
and whiiqing him down hill, and thrashing him would post down to factory. I'p would come the I motait, on a stool,'with Itis sorrowful looking head his collections, called upon the aforesaid pasden
thie fijU length ■&{ evety level, but die gives him' inevitatJe woman that teaches tlie machine."— : supported by the palm of his band. Not a word er ol l* a ?' lo^ n£ Car dinner. :
a sound trouncing evety. time be stops to drink. She would look at machine, who recognized her * greeted the interloper. ** How much! says the passenger. ;
under the wretched pretence that she is trying to as on old acquaintance, and would smile vLsiiily j Wall," lie said, “ you seem to be in awful ? cenls i” replied the lawllord.
keep the flies off. her a woman, any woman—for from every Ounce of it* seventy-eight pounds \ tronhhtx What’s np?" , “ Eigtiry eenss for a ditmeri why, that is extor
they are all alie on this subject, apt! no one has weight. Woman would smile superciliously at [ Ail, we . are almost crarr, neighbor, and we ...
than any trther one—understand wife, touch a screw on machine with the tijt of her , eint got patihnee to see folks now." ’ “Aa sir, it h not etttartiemace. Ain't tliat your
flna trotted her mile in 2.1 SI, dainty fingers, and would sfalk away. Machine! “ That’* all light," said tlie stranger «W iinch j
and let that woman have-Flora to drive for a day. would go all right for an hour or , two, when ; taken back by thejmpoiue rebuff; hut can Iheof I a r ’ : t^L4,: m . v carpet-bag.’
and shed flog the life but of thq gallant little liar needles would break, also screws, also strings, : ajiv service to you ihall this trouble. ! Welh that carpet-bag occupies a neap and of
mare if she didn't keyp uj> tlie same speed for straps, spring# and bands—then the woman, etc. "Well, we’re lost ohr gall; ourSal’sgone off! courße Cmast charge fur it.” . :
twelve or flltflen hoitrs a day ; and wmdd, the In four days, however, my wife (ha 1 ha ') mas- and left us," said ihe (dd N maa in tones of deep I.• **®’ * ** l f* e case ? |SeU. hare is I'ottr
minute hcr a[ieed fell short of twenty-flve miles an tered the intricacies of the machine, and is now despair, eighty cienl*.’’ !
hour, whip theblessed litdebeautv tin she dropped its master; and the machine knows it, and obevs 1 “Ah; do you know what a-to leave fuming to ihe carpet-bag, the passenger re
dowm in her tracks. -her accordingly. ' ivoa’r ' ’ 1 ’ , marked: “Well Mr; Caipttikhg, as yon hare
If a woman owned Flora Temple, she wouldn’t But in that distressing interval while the ma- 1 "Well, we can’t say, neighbt howshe’s so 1101 muchlp eat, supposewe take Mraetfaing,"
hesitate to maflih her to run a race with an eat- chine sulked, she broke three pecks of needles, a i far lost as to be induced hut then sac* gone and • ■ same t * n ? opening it* tuomh, ami tunrihg
j»«s train through a swampy countiy. and would bushel of screw#, a gross and a half of springs, and I disgraced ns," remarked the afflicted father, theiiem half a Sham, a roast chicken, a plate of
fttn with a hcitse-whip, the hide all off the little destroyed about a ipile and a quarter nf leather 1 “Tes, stranger, and—not as I should sabot is : £IB ’ an d sundry other articles, atqid the row
mare if she didn’t distance the locomotive. J ieltfog. However, she has mastered baj last, her mother—but thar waraat a pooler gal In ■ *l* cfhex paaseagers,
Ibere never was a woman yet Who mould at j but I tap nut at all certain that the last evil is not 1 West than Sid; she’s gone and brought misery l prevailing opinion among the passengers
roubf drive a horse reasonably, and treat him proj>- ; worse than tlie first. ujion her own head now.” followed the aliened oppet-hag wtm. ;
eiiy, Iflojiflkaow what the reason is, tmless ;In her trimujh at having won a victorr over aaa * T - ’ ’ ' \ X \J : - TT - !
wom«dy in which harm* are i 1 have tried to keep her in work! I have . *«’• jt* w»*te. The gtd could | ffieloS'
somenmes MMI with the woman. |bough: twenty or thirty piece* of cotton cloth, ; have matrix Martin jpg
Here I wiil—though in base treachery to my , w hjoh she has made tm—flannel ditto ~iw. die i Kdww, a capital shoemaker, who although he ’
own sex-reyeal to the ladies of the fend a terrible (same; woolen also, oddoth, even bm J one S&e flute in a
seertt, that has iltmttofore best ktyt by taeboon- jmorealso, Wehave machine a month ; \ wnda-btsagpod livin’. Then lookfwhnt a
sent of <«w masculine half of creanon, poptaatton, {she has made me shirts enough for a regmfent of 1 hm . desettefl; she was surrounded bv all j a if.
aud the ceUHO-*'- Ii is this: iZouaves in active nenice; she has made shiru j wmtJT,"' said the father, ‘ ? mtanr to understand 9 *' JrH tKd
I for a dozen fim daae hotels; she has ****** pcwrSal wd l hare &!<«*« thotSSirt I S2w T 5
mils to evety other man, that a woman is never {made me so many paire of pantaloons that drink and wear now-groaned die old
» ungraceful, » nufemtmne, so unwomanly, so |’W got rick of ihimbefore ,IW had a chance , I him^i^J
«KlpTahlt, a£ when on horsebttci- !to trr half of them on. and has began to mve : And who is the fellow that ha? taken her into “ ’
Mount a woman on a beast of a home and ifoeui a way to beggmv ; the amoumtnd 1 ' vo7do M t
van luda2Xt)r titanire. her of all tenderness, all j ,tion of garments she has made for henelf oooid : ~ „7 ™ s Off and got married to a critter To he Kim> 1 Aid « r*nJit*i riw» man T °£ ursn
ftHßinndty, *2l She thousand peculiar, namelessj<>n] T he aaied in three rolranes. | ®* or ' in village and the Lord it won w havebeaDamifade if
graces of women, and nansform her into a she-:| jdw. having made all foe new garments she °? to* o * l * Com be ts to earn a firing. the prifgt .
centaur —something that few men cantiore, and ! could, she ha* begun to make the others twice —— ~ ~ , ' ’ ’
before the mm who saw Im> tore* ypnj tfhts hand four babies, of ages ranging.from two to for that purpose." The couutrvman looked per- cha* I caughtbfaT«»a when }«t mlsms drew
V ■ cnone Z h» goaetomafang clothes for ilexod at this tmexmmed disethetx. That’s ing fie Utafa^fo^
awlful twflfoke^tam^_»Bmmns:fM- thewmly ha* made tlmm «p ( «w garoems , yoh. mid bet “fou sir, w can lot his feet: Staring said, " iSd
lore tiiot «IS sflmyes the fearful snertacle of its that each onp of those tmforttmate dhadren has to hang down over the ledge of theWifl." ' w.w tin t .ybZlnnftis,#
Vttr auUotu. iuvariaMv jii advance,). |J 55
Ali Ui<c>mlitrawl at tbe expiratioc of the time
paid Jmt. ■
_ , 1 iuwrtiou ‘J. do. Z do.
F'w {me* or ilew e 25 $ $ 5i
o*it skjtuirc. fih ou ' 75 ” 1 o{>
Two *v <35, - 1 tat ; 1 aO tii#
Tiirw {£*■ •* ; 3 j rtl 2 OU ’2 &
(ivrfl- thrvt- awk*; and it** Umo thm- tuuitilov. 25 cent*
per Hi|uuiV;lii»r eaflni>t*er£ion.
•’ month*. C mouths. 1 year.
fcix lines nr las*- : $ 1 o4i $?» uu sh. <K>
One square .l 2 Stf 4 IK' . TOO
T *“ * - - 4 t*» t; OU lit W
llimm- f» (*t £ w , 1«-iiC»
*our ....... oi> 10 OU 14
lUlf a column 10 (K- 14 00 2d Ot-
Urn- column.... 14 00 25 00 40 OO
AuuiuiiMiraUirf ami Executors Notices
advertimup by tlu* year, three squares.
with lii*nv t<> cltange *
I‘rofetMuutja] or Business. Cards, xiot exceeding b lines
■ with fui|MT. |n*r year £. tKJ
CommuntCHtmio of a political character or individual
inierwt, will be charged according to the above rates
Advertisement* hut marked with the number »f inter
tmns desired, will l»e continued till forbid and charged
ocftirdiug the above terms.
Bunines* notices five cents per line for every insertion.
Obituary notice* exceeding ten lines, fifty rents a square
Choice ftortrg.
LOOK MOT UPOM THE DARK SIDE.
- Tbdn look not on the dark side.
Hitmgh mist* may h&ug beiw'etin
The! wuiid-lile of the preetnt.
And the Jar, din Unseen ;
Yet «oou those cloud* of-Krrur,
BiaperaadiahaG rub away.
Aiul thou shall see the dawning
ctf a new and ghn'icms day
jrtlrtf Ifpstellaag.
DOESTICKS OB WOMBS,
HORSES, ETC.
YRUPS
.for Male hr
VINE-
PUT UP
'.BETS
iFFEE
TS£M£ Uf AJ»rjaiTlSl>'G
BI ETTA g. ALLEK.
OJj . k*>k Hi*: on the dark uiur.
[Lift* has eiatogt) of care
Tt] weave into ite tweue*.
£cao£h black threads are there;
. B#t turn thee to the sunlight.
Ur if oVrciurt the sky.
Mptmemhcr cloud* »-il! he dispelled
By sunshine dy*aad-hr.
h'j<& nut upon Xhci dark side .
Bui cuunt liiy Her.
Aud wil: start in uoudi r
Al the of thy sj.ire;
(ir if thy
Of wealtli tlir tiaij p share.
Oh. think he lacketh thy huun rest.
An'i hath not hi* cart-
Thank i>f thy hoarded treasure*.
Thy Kluref id princely wealth.
Thy luziuceul true pleasures.
And Liie't Ik-si t>le*Hinp, health,
>i tii in urmined pirineiit*
That Virtuw'* hnnu hath given,
lleanug upon tlir m&nhiKid* brim-
The *uguet tieal «»f Heak »*n.
Ujj Ute work irtnvely
,T«d in thy lah..i V yitke.
Ahd iiuht KiuUl In- tin- Jx-miapr'.
A lid harmless tali tH< struke— i
While ppuigh and ioimi and ledger,
And wcakshuj*, forge and field.
Send forili titsir tilltfd inihiejui-u.
Truth'* sceptre pnkud w wie},L
Ayt! thou an of the uoldrsi.
Thou Etandest in tije vac:
For the l«*st oftJiKlV creation*-
I* a honest toiling mui.:
Out who with firm endeavor
Boe* battle for the right.
And ke«*p« the lamj- of Virtue
; WeU-Crinnned and burning bright.
ALTOONA. PA, WEDSNEDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1863
10 (Hi
>E«rr m
J«e undressed at feist nine times in an afternoon,
lo trr on thepFodncts of onrvciodetfn] seuing ma
chine.
I expect, every min ate, that she will make a
descent on mr acqnariom, and sew bit fishes.’
tail* tnpether, or fasten the IcAwter r jo the
dircasi fins of tjhe eels. How can I stop her? I
lo hodiaiwls.
I have it: Ii will hare some shirts made of
vulcanized India robber—if that doesn’t break
the machine all to splinters I will bur half-inch
boik‘r-ira»i; limn, if all fails I will pet a conipairv
of miners and sajipcrs t o cane and Mow. the house:
to thunder, while we are liotli gone to the theatre.:
Hojicfullv.
Q. K. PBiLAKiax Doesncss, P. I),
STEALINGS FROM HARPER’S
EDITOR’S DRAWER.
a WraELETO STOIC V
HOW SAL DISGRACED THE
FAMILY.
A ety soon after the marriage was consnmated,
ther all discovered th« they had made a great
mistake. The son found that" the widow was alto
gether too motherly for the wife of a voung man
of twenrv-thret, and the old gentleman found
that a yonng My of rwenrv was too volatile for a
soto minded man of fifty. Disagreement fol
lowed. then select, and finally the thousand lit
tle quarrels, and snuhhings. and bickerings, sim
menng down into a grand fight, which was kept
ii|tw ith slight; variations/ for three months.
Finally, they agreed {fermeneutlv io disagree,
asd availing themselves of the ease with' winch
divorces are obtained in Indiana, the 1 whole four
removed to Indiana, where in dne time the di
vorces were obtained.
The fonr catpe home aa they went, together,
the son taking the daughter under his special
charge, and tii* father doing hie agreeable to tbe
Widow. Long before they had arrived at Bncv
rok they had; arranged "matters on an enriridv
different basts—the fattier sad the widow made
upa match, and the son and daughter ditto. The
marrying was performed immediately : on their ar
nrnl at Bncyrte. Up to date they" all appealed
will satisfied with each odier. and It is to be
hoped that they will long continue au.—Bunvnis
i i/tuoj Journal! J ]
BOXAHCE Hr amr. T.mt
In one of ithe townships of tfaneoantr, a little
north of BoctTus. dwell.» weS to-do vidower
aboatfifw.withanoßhrson of twenty two or three.
Mr- —— (»je withheld names for oihrians rensans)
had lieen a widom-er for maßv reans, and became
wBBy °f that mode of livinp; be aocordinpkr tfe.
lermmed to? marry again. ; The deaermiMtion
onc« formed, , the next thing, was to find the woman
necessary, wjifeh in this ctamtiy is not at all dffi
cult. Fonutiatciy for him a widow lady resided *
neat him, «iho had a daughter pdeaeaeaiigall the
n-qnireraent% She was a heatihful giri of twenty
reins, a(«un|ilisbed and —jjnst the one he
wumed. To he sure, she was nuher young, but
" T - W *S young also. Sometimes his mind
would wander to the mother, who was quite as
handsome asithe daughter, and almost as young
m apjearant*; bat hw«hd made op hk mind to
marry the daughter, and sat about It with a wilL
He diu uot mention his determination to his son,
feanng the ideaof nuurying one so touch younger
than himself:: might expose him to nxbcufe.
lii the meantime son imd became
enamored of Die widow, and had HkewS deter
mined U[<m marrrmg'ber. He did mot coaimnni
cate the fact jo his father, for the: same reason
that actuated the old gentleman, for fear of ev
cinng redicnle by marrying, a woman so much
older, titan himself. They both commenced cal)-
mg at tiie hopse of the widow, mid frequently met
aich other there. cinenmstance annoyed
them .Kith Immensely. ‘ The old man thought
very naturally, that the young man was there for
the voting lady, and the, young gentleman as
naturally supposed the old one was there tor the
widow.
As the matter progressed the meetings of the
fattier aud son of that place became 'frequent, and
the more often it ocrured. the more intolerable h
became. Fnmally, Mr. —— determined to speak
to In© sgii on the snbjeeL
" Charles,-;said be, “I hare determined, after
niacn consideration, to many, and thought it
but right and proper to make ton acquainted with
uiv ca’iDmunatjon.'’
\en gu,»4, replied Ciuirle* 5 1. considered ii
V«y Jirojier that you should do so. And, speak
ing of marrying, I have concluded to many, mv-
I approve of the idea,” tetumed the oid gen
titmaiL “vouire of a soitable age to seu4e dowu.
May I iink the name of youi ioteoded ?*'
Mr*. -■ exclaimed : up aasu
ninig a difiant loot.
Wiifw, tfio olil gentleman; i * fine
woman, Chants, hui isn't she a trifle too advanced
in rears r**
I think not.” said he: " but who have vuu
deemed upon ?"
Charles, it is a very curious circum
stance. I.ut I liave determined to marrv her daugh
ter." : ’
"Daughter!” ejc'ehimed Charles; “Wbr voo
are at least mice as old as slit is; I don’t object."
The matter was thus happily; settled, and in the
course ot a few weeks it was satisfactorily ar
ranged with tile widow and : daughter, and the
parties were married.
EDITORS AND PB&PWETO*
IT4HXB TKZ6K.
| Some years ago/before ailrMt were invented,
*.c«e MaatfaMOtlute niHe day tWF l-
Imgin asatgeia tbe State of Cnraacbcot. Tbe
TBsseogew Mopped far breakfitst at a place where
the landlord was noted for to* iiiniMiiiii mil ii
»as strongh- suspected that he paid the'driver to
burry off tbestage before the passengers coeild eat
a half weal, is aider Hi wc Ut Tin aali -
Yankee heard this talk, and be gat down tobneak
iast with the deteaunatkiD to eat hu bkmot v
»ohh whether the stag* foftwr not. WUte.«M**-
fore, the rest of tbe passengers were hotahg; their
Titttnds in the greatest poSaje hasfc, the Mmm
chtaeo* man tookhh time. The passengers had
searceir finished a single cap of eofiee, and ate Uut
a few mouthfuls, a lien -they heard the unwelcome
sooad ctf the ham, and the'ditveresefanß, “Stege
ready!" V p rise the grumbling jwtfimjTTr, jav
their fifty cents and take their t«ats.
“AU ataard, gent* itajotas tta tact. ,
“One mtacrng,’* «ud thejr,
l*rt>ceedinp to the dmrag-rocan. the tact £stis
oar Yankee friend —~' ilj lnc, ■|f ii
*n immense pece of tdeafc, tac lose » har«-'e
lip.
" You'll lie left, sir ’ Sca£e is gamg, to *mn V
! “Waal, Ihain't gut nothin' to say agin it: -
“ Calu’i; wah, sir, better take your seat."
“J’U he gaal darned efl dew, anther, till I’ve
gwmy breakfast! I’ve got tew jmv half a dollar,
wnd I’m gum’ tew get the vaiee tin’t: and «C vew
calkalate 1 ain’t. yew arr TOKtsken
So the stage did start, and left the htmgrv Sew
Englander, who conauuod lo attack the eaiahk*
Htscmts, coffiie, steak, &e., m.j>-
•% hefore the eye of the astonished ianjlohl
_ Say, ’Squire, them there cakes » teat East;
taxih gFistoDiixK. •< Too, (to the-waiter)
nntber cupav that air coffee. Pass them eggs.
i«aise yew'r awn jjork, Squire?—Hbis wp HHttrin
ruce ham. Land here ndwnlde
Squire. I calculate ? Don't lav vew’r own
dewye?*’And thusthe Yankee*kept quitting x\ *e
kiwtnrd, until be bad niyA« Wny mrnl
now Pm liom toeandtade pavin'
my devours tew this air taWa. but et yev'A ‘jwt
gi ve us a bow] of bread and milk lew sorter ua> <jff
with. I’d l*e much obieeged tew je. T *
So oat goes the landlord and waiter *br the
bowl milk and bread, and set them before the
1 ankee. <,
" spoon. tew, ef you please ?”
Bni no sppon couid be fannd. Landlord was
sure he had plenty of (direr ones hiving on the
table when the stage stopped.
“Slat', dew yew think then passengers is goin'
tew pay yew for a breakfass and git no compensa
tion . .
“Ah ! whall do rou think anr of the taissen
gers took them?" ‘
"Dewltiod-? No, 1 demittidnk,fantl’msartin.
El they are all as green as yew ’bom here, I’m
goin’ tew locate immediately and tew wonst.
The landlord rushes out to the stable, bad starts
a inpn ‘tfff after the stage, which had gone about
three miles. The man overtake* the stage, and
says something to the driver in a tow tone. He
immediately turns hack, and arriving at the hotel,
onr Yankee comes out to take his sen, and savs;
“ Hoew air yen - , gents? Tm glad tew see rew
back.’' ' '
“ Can rim point out the man von think has the
spoons ?” asked the landloid. " i
" r’lct him out ? Sartiuiy, I ken. Say ’Squire.
I paid yew four ninepence for a breakfast, and 1
«iltalate I got the raliee oak. VoaT find them
spoons in the coffee-pot. -
"Go ahead. aD aboard, driver!”
A PttoxsKKT Akswek.—Steme, so" celebrated
as the author of “Tristram Shandy” and "the
Sennmental Jonrney,” was of Cambridge Univcr
sity— not a strict priest, but as a dergjtisa, not
liking to hear with indifference his whole fraicmirv
waited contemptuously. Bang one day in a
ohsemd a spruce, powdered young
fellow at the fireside, who was Speaking af the
tdeigj in a mass as h body of disofEnedimposters
and. systematic hypocrites. ‘Sterne g« np while
the voting nun was harangmpg, aufi approached to
wards the fire, patring and coaxing all the wav a
favorite Bate dog. Coming ax length toward the
gentleman, he took up the dqfc still continuing to
pat tan and addressed the young feßow—
“ Sir, this would be the pretriestjittte «m»i in
the world had he not one (Saunter.”
“ What disorder is that?" replied the feßow,
- Why, «ii» said Sterne, “one
makes him hart when he secs a gentleman in
black," -
, “ “ a angtdar disorder,” replied the wut
ifcllow; pray, Ik>w Joyg ims hti lisd it? 1 * '* j
rented Steme, lookiagat Inti with
“■fleetedgentleness, “erer smeeheara* a
taT ‘Master, this girl keeps a saying' Tas a
thief 1, ' “v ' ■v' ■ ■
“ What does she say that yaw base Hi »»
*' She satt that I stole her character."
At this juncture a little giri Sniped raj and said’
—lgethbedid—i gethbe <fid-*rl*«* him
£*eiuDa the thcool house ft eating thtmithing-^
„ *f"4 kne r PMsed through the Post Office at
Carlisle, one day test weti. with the foSdwiifo
ffw“ D r “ laUl^ s ***“■ to Cadyte. Take it
to Wm. Gtjaham, plasterer, Dixon street; its no
for him its for A Son of his therCa Jobn Cndum
a canny young CheU about Twentr-two. Take it
to Carlyle as 1 said before.” V *
IST tewJer hearted widower fiamd « ffce
faßosJ of }«* third helored. “What shah we do
with top?” askea « friend of ids. “La him
alone, said a waggish iwstawittv “ht-fi 'mod
re-wtve. ' ,
, **T Tbe Wfc *re aorehr pot to it for means to
km Time, white line qrdedr proceeds tofcaj
them. •
of a fool eonkl no more to on
Without fttritfment das S' psrrWwwino
out mask. l ,
O'Experience *s a pocket compass Oat a fool
nera thiris of amsojting anil he has test fes
way- .' ', • , j
W**" **«. t- —. r ,,jM n f ■malltllUlll
mayfi* with ids naked hot* it gjefesfc ,
(a* The pleasure of dcssg good is the art of le
mg fomented with what we hare. > -
JnSX “ a *“5
tJSTtS^^ 31 *^ ««?*?
Jiaet ie a jewel; tone. &e
i
an
fc it Si
V ■ 4
■"’-I*
; >
'
V '
KO- 39.