BUTTERS’
fcD BLANK BOOK MANITp Ar A > .
ift>. B 4 Jfarirf Si , ' '
fcvestablishinont is ,
t the manufacture ot uiwk ftink-. v, ti,
»«»»**• be:
be test linen papei-. * or<^r * toq,|j"
MgS*' ud others, deairing tohavoihelr« .
Jii Mawderate pncet, should giveoaae.7? Bk " », l:
Lf&'n^* !*“* Uarper'f *2*,*“:. W
Wi Mow, Scientific American,jK£i 6, ***onV
, WorJer.«nd In any style required. fbSjfe® J«*i.
mfipp, Knickerbocker,
Iwa, Oodey’s Lady’s Book,
BwkiWi Plano Mnaic. Ac, bound in Pater.
"SlWn «od substantial half bShu £ * t Kt* t3,,wt “r
k Low Magaxlnea, Pamphlet
«tjrl« K «t very moderate prices. P»riJli
ur of volmnw to bind, will wing,
If-CWMblrtie wit to ua from »dt.e^f dU ! co,u ‘t,
md alt work entrusted
nentod. aafcly packed and return^iTv^'H*«l.
*k Warranted. Address n I trrn£jP ,, *~
iMoCRDM A DERM, at the Tribunt
fftn Altoona.and vicinity. Thev will'2.*; V* ttlt
rdtation to binding, and rwebre and rttuin^ 111 ''
» extra charge., for dTwbo
S|‘ " -
T « J i
■ «IJ
si .-I
Ph £ 2| |J
| » *-3 .2 t
r 00 —< ~ i-.
Ml 4i 2?= “*
o t<•»: »,
0 x
*Tj 3 ~M . >
■r J*3 g-a
frn 1 & K■S '*!-r e
T £^®iS
Vi S 'tO Ti B
*s S t
SSS£~ s
I- £ s
sr-i< fr ?
>
s
®
m
r, r'
jn3|£-2
OO s
ward : ever onward :
STEP BY STEP»
NDK USION ED DESIRES T(»
«* receive*! a Urge and e“Llf„e^ t ,!T.T'
f RE S S GOODS,
l.ulie*. embracing all the latest, prettie.tami „„„
18H lON ABLE PATTERNS. '
mg which may lie found every qmuitv of i
f* f "hid. it would he t.Ki 'n o m, g ‘ ,
in the line of pare, fresh and cheat"
SERIES & PROVISIONS
* iir ," , “” tr ! prodnee taken in exshangi r ,
Ch«* highest market price alJoww! *
I. the comer of Annie an.) Helen' „n*t» Earn
THOMAS HESLOP,
•May 22, 1862.
'fACOB WETS,
ER AND CONFECTIONER.
•' < v lßn,!su Street. Altoo-H. p,„
PS CONSTANTLY ON HAND
»KAD. CAKES, C’ANOTl’.s
COB CBEAM
? f V* own «n*»u&etnre, which he
V 1 V' - or _r. , tan ' »• the mod mwm,
. iUo r TORgION FRUITS, Each u
WKS, LEMONS, PINE-APPLES,
HI-NES, RAISINS, NUTS, &C.. &C..
haiid ia their respective ecrroiie.
ES BAKED TO ORDER,
EC ocaulona, on »hort notice and in the oeat
- atyle of the art.
unine and price my stock, and yon will fin.)
xml cheap a« can he purchased elsewhere.
1968. - ’
1, Tin and Sheet Iron Ware
SPOUTING, &C.
GG WOULD RESPECT. Jm.
T nform the citizens of Altoona bEH^
? that he keeps constantly on
tment o» OxAing. Parlor, Office
®» *ll WyN and sizro.to snrtt&e ;
la. which ho . will sell at low prices, an reason*
Iteeps o« hand a large, stock of Tin and SA/w
-° f a^. ftrtlcle<r for chHuarypurposes—
the r‘gbt of in Kafr county
’ROVED SAUSAGE STUPFER,,
® which heeds only to be seen to be approciH*
be possessed , by every firmer, batcher ortho**
Kb a machine. ;
ieular attention paid to'potting op SPOUTING,
rn or counter. Spouting painted and pot op
reasonable terms. (april 14,‘lBWy \
L-FETTINGEB’S
<*ral j\ T evvs Agency,
ALL, No. 7, MAIN STREET
L»L BOOKS, BLANK BOOKS.
INERT, CONFECTIONARIES
ARS & TOBACCO,
D NOTIONS IN GBEAT VARIETY
CONSTANTLY ON BAND. ' !
■ 1861.
LLOYD & CO.,
ALTOQNA, JPA-r,
STON-, JACK & GO.,
BOUJPATSJBme. PA-
ISTKERS,
“Bdl'Johmlon, Jack £ Co.”)
r TS ON THE PRINCIPAL
tod SQrer and Gold fdr aale. <l»BectloTi«
N rewired on depoalte, payable on demand.
wt, or opon time, with interest at 'fiifr rates.
KESSLER—PRACTICAL
GGIBT, respectfully announces
of Altoona and the public
«till continues the Drug
r«ett where be beeps constantly.
l«r WholesaieandlUtefel>BDq&
?tdw ol, ' Bi
potion to bnsinese, and a (Mniv render «t
as regards price and quality, he hopes * •
five a snare of public patronage..
I*4, merchants supplied on reasonable term*
mad a distance promptly attended .to.
R escript km* carefaHy compounded* _
ADY FRIENDS WOULD lE*
-"k ia open the choice and chute aMof 1-
ar imxes GOODS now dtaplaTad/KpOh
w»of - MUKPHY Jt McPIKU,
■■ Cot. of Tltginkt and OilWllna at*.
10 26,1862. .
■AND LAUD OILS, CAM
b« oa,Ac i^mg
D AT aicCORMIGR'S Store
iU IMurtOient gf JMrMg* eW* l ?*
. . Wot. ».-«■■
'JIIES. A LARGE AND
r —nrtoiaat «f OmcmM rr
jfa-y «f •.
HAT, TQOm, mAy J * G '
oil, (K|ik)OirMtg¥-
f w# * '
& PERN, ■■;- 1 - ■■■' ' ■’ fiXDKPKynENT m everything. ~) ' '' . ' . ......
McCR
VOL. 8.
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
H B. MeCRUM.
BOITOEB A*» PEOPRIJ!tOBH
Per umn, (payable in»aria*)ly iu ilnoce,) $1 SO
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imiil lor.
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one Square; (8 lines)..... 60 75 1 'OO
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Over three weeks and less than three months, 25 cents
oer square for each insertion.
3 months. 6 mouths. 1 year.
.$l5O $ 3 00 $5OO
2 50 4 00 ‘ 7 00
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Merchants mlrectaing by the year, three square*,
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with paper, p#t year 6 00.
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inter##!, win be charged according to the above rates.
Advertisements not marked with the number of inser
tions desired, will be continued till forbid and charged
According to the Above terms. v
Business notices five cents pet line for every insertion.
Obituary notices exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square
€Mct |f«et*g.
HAPPY OL.D ACE.
I feel thst age has overtaVn
sly steps :oq ; life’s descending way,
But time has left no lingering pain,
\o shadow of an erll day;
.And you. my children, gather near
To smooth and solace my decline
And I have hdfce that your career
Will be as blest as mine.
Not all exempt has been my sky
From threatening storm and lowering cloud.
But sunbursts shed from source on high
Have cheered my spirit when it bowed.
Not all without &e shard and thorn
Has been mr path from first to lost.
But springs of flowers, of Mercy born.
Have soothed me as I passed.
And now ray mind, all clear and cool—
As I serenely talk or mnse—
Is tranquil ns yon glassy pool,
Reflecting autumn's sunset lines.
Time has not dulled my moral sense.
Nor has it dimmed my mental sight
No passions weaken my defence.
No doubt# and careaaffiight.
But Retrospoction, even yet.
Will lead me through past trodden ways.
.And I remember —why forget?
The masrie of my early days;
All nature so divinely wionght.
The unraveled mystery of things.
Awoke me to exalted thought.
, And .lent my spirit wings.
Aud i remember how 1 grew
Up to. the sunny noon of youth,
From youth to manhood, till I knew
That love was near akin to truth.
My trials, bravely overcome;
My triumphs, not ot purpose vain—
Ail these with vague but pleasant bum.
Still murmur through my brain.
My children, offspring ef a tree
Whose lop is hoary with decay.
Whose trunk la shaken as may be
Before it falls and fades away—
Receive what faithful men unfold,
Revere what trathfnl.inen proclaim,
And, before Heaven and man, uphold
The honor of By name.
for me, I have no mortal fear, 1
No trembling as I hurry down 5
My way Is dear, the end Ja near.
The goal, the glory, and the crown. '
Then shed no bitter tears for me,
As.ye conslgn.me to the dust;
Rather rejoice that I shall be
With Qod,my strength and trust.
Jfrlwt |||isi«Uattg,
BIRTHDAYS.
The birthday, especially • to young "peo
ple is a very “ important day.” To those
who have grown up, and already formed
their characters, for good or evil, it is of
less consequence, except to remind them
that they are one year nearer death and the
judgment But to the hoys and girls, a
year often produees-great changes, in size
and stature, in thought, feeling and prin
ple. Life is a great highway or railroad,
and these birthdays are the milestones
upon it. They seem far apart at first, a$
thft milestones do when She cars firet begin
to move; as the speed increases they seem
more and more frequent. So it is with
the years, as they grow up ,- quicker and
quicker they fly, till the last comes short
est and swftest of all
Then, little friends, you for whom these
milestones are yet far asunder, he persua
ded to turn them to a wise account. Al
low them to be stopping places,'where to
inquire if you are in the right, the safe,
the best road ; to ask whence you camel,
and whither you are bound how far, you
have advanced, and, what you propose to
accomplish by this journey of life. Look
forward, look backward arid resolve-^—for
you are not too young if you can read
and think—resolve that you will walk in
no path but that of the just, the wise the
virtuous, which brighter and
brighter onto the perfect day,, and that
each birthday shall find you farther on
that road which lefds to happiness and
heaven.
Thus, let the birthday, whether spent
in innocent festivity or in the quiet round
of ordinary duty, be the best day of all
the year ; because it gives a quickening:
impulse to every good resolution and vir-i
tuous purpose. So shall you grow Up like
young Samuel, “in favor both with the;
Lord and also" with men.” ;
I A DUTCHMAJ’S COMPLAIST.
' 1 dinks much about de war, urid de
draft,' und de rebils, und all dese dings.
I dinks about ’dm more as about anyding
else. ' Sometimes I sets mils myself: all
day on de front stoop, und schmokes, und
drinks bard cider, und does, nothing else
only drink : den my vife she gifs me de
teufel for drinkin’ so much und. ses I vos
potter go und see arter Jacop, our hired
man, und not bodder my > head mit more
as | can understand. But I tells her what
shall voinens know about war ; petter she
goes und raindts her own pissnesses. I
druUes myself more as about Abraham
as about Jacop.
Yen E gets 'tired mit drinkin’ on my
own stoop, I goes down to Hans Butter
foo’s tavepn, und I drinks dere, und I tells
my opinion, und some odder one tells his
opinion,: und we makes him out togedder.
De odder day begins de draft. Dat bod
dersmeagin. Some goes in for de draft,
mostly dem as is tOo olt, und von’t be took
demself ■ some goes agin de draft; und
some dorit know rich vay to goes, but ony
roundt und roundt, und gets boddered.
like dam so as I do.
But, nefer mind, I dinks I must find
dis ding,out, und down 1 goes to Hans:
Butterfoos, und hears de fellers bio.. I
don’t make nottin’ mid dat; dey all bios
some odder vay, und I don’t dink dey hef
him rite in der own mindts. So I begins:
und asks a questchun ; und I sea to Bill
Puffenshtdek.
“ Vot you dinks von de draft, dat it is
right?
And ses Bill: “ No, I dinks et ain’t ]
right.” . ;
Yell Idon’t believe him, cans he she&ted
me yonce mit a blind mare he sells on me.
So I dries agin, und shpeaks mit Fritz
Hoekenap^cer.
“ Frith,” I ses, “ vot you dinks von de
draft.ef it is right or not?”
Und Fritz, he ses, dat he dinks it is
shust so as it ought to be.
But I i don’t believes him neder, ’caus
he rim’d:against toe last year for de peace
of shustice. Und he ish no more good for
shquire as my olt cat. So I gifs up ask
ing somebody, und make, him out myself.
I dinks in dis style, de reason dey made
de draft, is becos dey want sojers. Ef
dey don’t; got no sojers den dey can’t bring
on de war. Ef dey don’t bring on de war
den dey don’t lick de rebils, den de rebils
licks deni.; Ef de rebils licks dem den we
all go to ter tuyfel. Dat pooty straight.
So mooch-
Now l must dink of some more; vot
is de neutt ding ’ I dinks dat’s all rite;
but I slftops, spmeding else comes. Let
me sees* , Oh, yes ; dry hundred doUars
—dadt’s de ding—dey all bios about de
dry hundred dollars. I dinks so myself.
Dry hundred dollars don’t licks de rebils
np more as dry hundred cents. Yot’s the
goot dollars; petter a goot, shmart sojer,
like my Shorge, he licks the reblis more
as six hundred dollars, -yes. Now I
knows more as Bill Puffenshloek and
Fritz Hockensbplicer, both togedder
We .want de sojerp, not de money. Dat’s
where de bodder is. We putty soon
makes money enough ; but paper sojers
is only good mit wooden guns,' so when
de draft pomes und .ven man ses here is
dry handed dollars, I shtays bebindt und
don’t fight the rebils, den if I was de draft
I takes dat man by his preeches und I ses
go to ter tuyfel mit your dollars, und
come along mit me like some odder man
as has' gqt no dollars, und don’t like
to go .spjerin so bad as vot you do, den
pootysoon I gits so much as I vants, data
my idears. 1 tells my olt vomen if dey
drafts mb 1 goes myself. To be surej I
don’t dink dey vill, v ! ’cans I am more as
fifty years; but nefer mind. I should gq
a long while, like my Shorge, ony dere’s
two dings I don’t like und von is de
marshih find de udder is de fitin. I sooner
marches down to Hans Butterfoos und fights
dere. Ef Sheff Davis comes dere on tfiej
I gifs him dam, you better had believe ;
but if I goes to Richmond may be Shelf
Davis he "gives me dam. So, onyhow, I
shtays boime. De odder day, my Shorge
he comes;back mit a furlow. He is so
much a corporal as ever he was, und' I
shpeaks mit him about dese dings, und I
gifs you riqw' what he says: (
“ Shorge,” I ask him, “you’ve bin mit de
rebils, urid mit the army, und mit olt
Abe. and dese fellows, vot yon dinks von
dis draft jlat all de peoples bios about?’’
“ Und he ses to me: “ Oh, tundef !”
Yell, date his opiniuns. May be he
shall know somedings too. He’s pooty
shmart since he goes for a sojer. He
shwears like a man six foots high, und
calls madder “ olt voman,” und he calls
me “ cap,’’und kisses de gals, und calls
Jacop “ dam fool,” 1 dinks he gets some
high offis before de war is gone.
Gotleib EUxibberyobs.
H. C. DERN,
25 00'- 40 00
14*00
1 76
- fvXo be a woman of fashion is one of the
easiest things in the world. A late writer
thus describes it. Buy everything you
don’t want, and pay for nothing you get;
smile .op ill mankind but your husband ;
pehappy everywhere' but at home; ne
glect yourchildren and nurse lap dogs; go
to church :«very time you get a new dress.”
ALTOONA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1863
SLIGHTLY ACQUAINTED
Several years ago the —th Regiment
United States Regulars were quartered at
A , near Niagara Falls., Among the
privates of - that gallant regiment was
B a tall, lank, i-ed haired Ver
monter, who was always in some scrape
or other. One day he obtained leave to
take a day’s shooting on the Canada side.
He went early in the morning, and hunted
all day with very poor success. Late in
the afternoon he was slowly wending his
way home, ill pleased with his poor success
when he saw seated on a tree within easy
shooting distance a large crow. To level
his gun and fire was the impulse of a
moment, and down tumbled the crow al
most at his feet. Now it.happened that the
crow was a tame one, and a pet of Gen.
C-t —'■ —, who was one of the wealthiest
lan-downers in Canada, and who owned
the property on which B stood.—
And it so happened that the general was
an unseen witness of thedeath of his favo
rite. Enraged at its loss he determined
to punish the offender in a manner that he
would be likely to remember.
■So coming forward in a very friendly
-manner, he nodded to B- who saluted
him in return.
“ You’ve got a fine gun there,” said the
general.
“ Yass,” said B——.handing it to (lie
general; “that’s the very neatest double
barrelled gun around these diggings.”
The general turned the gun around and
examined it carefully, then putting the
barrel, still loaded at full cock to bis
shoulder, and pointing it at B , said:
“ You have willfully shot the greatest
favorite I had, and now you've got to ■ eat
it."
B explained, and begged and prayed,
but to no purpose ; the general was un
moved by his entreaties, and told him he
must eat if or die. B once more
turned his eyes piteously towards the
general, but the cold, wicked eye glanced
along the guu-barrel convincing him (as
he afterwards said) that there was fire in
it. So with a groan be picked up the
crow, and shutting his eyes, commenced
his disagreeable meal. He worried down
three or four mouthfuls, and then stopped,
unable to eat more of the disgusting car
rion ; and the general," thinking he had
gone far enough told him that would do :
and after advising him to be more careful
in future what he shot, handed him his
gun and told liim he could go. As soon
as B got his gun in his hand he
turned fiercely upon the general, and said:
“ Its my turn now. You eat the re
mainder of the crow.”
In vain the general stamped, and swore,
and finally prayed to be left off. B
was as firm as he himself had been a few
minutes before. Nothing would satisfy
the enraged soldier but that the general
should eat the whole of what was left,
and which he had to do before B left
him off.
The next day the general went to B ’s
colonel, and complained that he had been
grossly insulted by one*of his soldiers the
day previous.
The colonel inquired what one.
“ Why,” said the general, “he was a
tall, lean, ill-favored fellow, with light
red hair.”
“ Ha!” said the colonel, “ 1 know him;
he’s always in some, scrape. Orderly
bring B—— here immediately.”
In a few moments the orderly returned,
bringing B who was wondering
what scrape he was in now
B- said the colonel, “doyou know
this gentleman!” 1
“What! me I” said B——, looking as
amazed as possible.
“Yeg,” said the colonel, “ do you" know
him?”
“ Yes, we are slightly acquainted,” said
B—■ —(a happy thought striking him)
“ We dined heartily together yesterday .”
The general could hold in no longer;
but bursting into a hearty laugh told the
colonel to let him go, as he heartily for
gave him. '
Don’t Get in Debt.— Debt is a per
fect bore. How it hanuts a man from
pillar to post —lurking in the breakfast
cup—poisoning his dinner—embittering his
tea!—now it stalks from him like a living
skeleton, seeming to announce its presence
by recounting the amount of his liabili
ties. ; How it poisons his domestic joys,
by introducing its “ balance” into the
calculation of madam, respecting the price
of a new carjiet or a dress. How it hin
ders dreamy plans for accumulations.—
How it hampers useless energies—cripples
resolutions too good to be fulfilled.
ST P. T. Barnum is the happy possessor
of afire horned ram, which resides not at.
the Museupi, but at his farm. At a re
cent cattle show he labelled the animal
“An intemperate sheep which has taken
at least three horns too much.”
| O* Jones complained of a bad smell
about the post-office, and asked. Brown
what it could be ? Brown didn’t know,
but suggested that it might be caused by
the “dead letters.”
I remember a poor old loafer who was
familiarly known to the people round about
Cheshire, Mass., by the saccharine title of
Sweet Bill. Now Sweet Bill was a strange,,
half-crazy, fellow, yet posessed of wit of no
common order, though, from bis ways of
life, it was naturally rough and unpolished.
Sweet Bill was a great visitor of the tav
ern. where his grotesque ways and ready
repartee always predisposed the visitor in
his favor, and, as a consequence. Sweet
Bill was generally under the influence, or,
to speak more charitably, predisposed to
the influence of liquor.
One cold day, previous "to Thanksgiv
ing, Sweet Bill cast his eyes on a remark
ably fat turkey belonging to the squire.
Bill had a toothsome relish for fowls, and
al though impecuniosity prevented Its indul
gence very frequently, his ardor for turkey,
dinners was none abated because of bis in
ability.
On the day in question, however, Sweet
Bill was folly determined on enjoying his
favorite dish, despite the fact that he had
no turkey, and worse still, no money
wherewith one was to be procured ; still
he faltered nofct in his determination. I
have sajd that he ’cast longing eyes upon
a pecufiarily fat specimen belonging to the
squire, and one can imagine how the inner
man bf this same Sweet Bill, arose and
clapped his handsf when at length through
Ins brain flushed the lucky scheme by which
the coveted fowl was to be placed at his
disposal.
The.evening previous to Thanksgiving,
Sweet Bill crept noiselessly into the tern
yard, and finding himself unobserved, pro
ceeded to tie a red cord about the leg of
the doomed turkey. How this was going
to secure him the coveted prize, the world,
had it observed the action, could never
have surmised ; but Sweet Bill, in his
heart of hearts, knew well enough, and,
marked out every line of a plan drawn
with mathematical accuracy, and mathe
matically Certain "success.
Thanksgiving, morning came ; a clear,
frosty morning, with air bright and vivi
fying as the cliampagne air of Paris.—
The squire, warmly clothed, and with a
homely yet fragrant pipe thrust between
his teeth, stood upon the piazza of his
house, complacently contemplating his
“ paternal acres” and the bounteons : good
of nature, when Sweet Bill came lounging
by, with much gravity upon his singular
features. The following colloquy ensued:
“ Good momiu’, squire.”-
“ Good morning, Bill.” ‘
“ Nice day> squire.”
“ Beautiful, Bill ”
“ I say, squire, hev you seen a stray
turkey ’round here this mornin’?”
“ Haven’t noticed one. Why?”
“ Well, my turkey strayed off last night
and I’m hunting him up. I heered he
was seen up around your tern-yard.—
Guess he’s in among yoftf fowls, squire.”
“It may te so. Come along we’ll
look.”
“Thankee, squire.”
“Could you recognise him, Bill?”
“ Course I can.” answered Sweet Bill»
with a positive air. “1 was afeered he’d
stray jff somewhere, and so I tied a red
string around one of his lege.”
Into the barn-yard they went, and sure
enough there was the fowl, fat and tempt
ing, and with the cord about his leg. In
a moment Sweet Bill had him under his
arm, and marched off triumphantly. ;
A month, of so afterwards he revealed,
the joke to the squire, who readily for
gave the deception on the score of the
good laugh that it afforded him,
TheWoekman Ahead. —A good story
is told of a certain prominent railroad
gentleman of Philadelphia, who is equally
renowned for his ability to make afajd to
take a joke. A railroad employee, whose
home is in Avon, came on Saturday night
to ask for a pass down to visit his family.
“You are in the employ of the rail
road?” ■ inquired the gentleman alluded, to.-
“Yes.-”,,
“ You receive your pay regularly’”
“Yes.”
“Well now suppose you were working
for a farmer instead of a railroad,; would
you expect your employer, to hitch up his
team every Saturday night and carry you
home ?”
' This seemed a poser, but it wasn’t
“ No,’ - said the man promptly, “ I would
not expect that, but if the farmer had his
team hitched up, and was going my way,
I should call him a darned mean cuss if he
wouldn’t left me ride.”
Mr. employee came out three ijainutes
afterwards with a pass good for twelve
months. i '
Patriotism emanates from the
heart, fills'the soul, infuses itself into the
whole man, and speaks and acts the same
language. A friend of his country in war
will feel, Speak and net for his country;
revere his country’s cause and hate his
country’s enemies. America wants no
friends, acknowledges the fidelity of no
citizen, who, after war is declared, con
demns the Justice of her cause arid sympa
thizes with the enemy. All such, are
traitors in their hearts, —Senator Douglas.
A RED-TAPE STOUT.
. THE HICE GIRL.
There is nothing half - so sweet in life,
half so. beautiful or delightful, or so love
able as a “nice girl.” Not a pretty, or a
dashing, or an elegant girl, but a nice girl.
One of those lovely, lively,-good-tempered,
good-hearted, sweet-faced, amiable, neat,
domestic creatures met within the sphere
of home, diffusing around the domestic
hearth the influence of her goodness like*
the essence of sweet flowers.
A nice girl is not the languishing beauty,
dawdling on a.sofa, and discussing the last
novel or opera; or the giraffe-like creature
sweeping majestically through a drawing
room. The nice girl may not even dance
or play well, and knows nothing about
“ using her eyes,” or coquetting with a
fau. She is not given to sensation novels,
she is too busy. At the opera, she is not
in front showing her bare shoulders, hut
sits quietly and unobtrusively—at the back
of the box most likely. In fact, it is not
often in such scenes we discover .her.—
Home is her place.
Who rises betimes, and superintends
the morning meal? Who makes the toast
and the tea, and buttons the boys’ shirts,
and waters the flowers, and feeds the
chickens, and brightens up the parlor and
sitting room ? Is it the languisher, or the
giraffe, or the degani f Not a bit of it—
it’s the nice girl.
Her unmade toilet is made in the short
est possible time, yet how charmingly it is
done, and how elegant her neat dress and
plain color! What; kisses she distributes
among the family! No presenting a cheek
or a blow, like a “ fine girl,” but an audi
ble smack, which says plainly: “I love
you ever so much,” i If 1 ever coveted
anything, it is one of the nice girl’s kisses.
Breakfast oyer, down in the kitchen to
spe about dinner; always cheerful and
light-hearted. §he never ceases to be ac
tive until the day is done, when' she will
polka with the boys, and sing old songs,
and play old tunes to her father for hours
together. She is a perfect treasure, is the
nice girl, when illness comes; it is she
that attends with unwearying patience to
the sick chamber. There is no risk, no
fatigue that she will , not make. She is
all love, all devotion. ;1 have often thought
it would to be ill, to be
watched by such loving eyes and fended
by such fair hands. *•
One of the most strongly marked char
acteristics of a “ nice girl” is tidiness and
simplicity of dress. She is ever associated
in my mind with * high frock, plain col
lar, and the neatest of beck ribbons, bound
With the most modest little brooch in the
world. I never knew a nice girl who dis
played a profusion of rings and bracelets,
or who wore low dresses or a splendid
bonnet.
1 say again, there is nothing in the
world half so beautiful, half sb intrinsic
ally good, as a “ nice girl.” She is the
sweetest flower in the path of life. There
are others far more stately, far more gor
geous, but these we merely admire as we
go by. It is where the daisy grows that
\ye lie down to rest. | ■
Honesty. —A Quaker, once passing
through a market, stripped at a stall and
inquired the price Of citrons..
“ I have none,” said the honest farmer,
“that will suit; they are decayed, and
their flavor is gone.”
“ Thank thee, friend, I will go to the
next stand.”
“Hast thou good fruit to-day?” be said
to the the dealer. ’
“Yes, sir; here are some of the finest
nut-megs of my garden. They are small
but rich of their kind;”
“ Then const thou recommend them?”
r “ Certainly, sir.” ; .
“ Very well, I will take two.” ,
He carried them iuime, and they proved
not only unsound, but; miserably taste
less. The next morning he wentagaiii to
the same place. The man who sold him
the fruit the previous day asked him if he
would have any morel
“ Nay, friend, thou hast deceived mo
once, and now, although thou mayets
speak the truth, still I cannot trust thcO ;
but thy neighbor chose to deal rightly with
me. and I shall henceforth bo ; his patron.
Thou woulds’t do well to remember'this,
and learn by experience that a lie is a base
tiling in the beginning, and a very un
profitable one in the end.”
A Puzzled Justice. A man named
Josh was brought before a country Squire
for stealing a hog, and three witnesses,
being examined, swore they saw him steal
it. A wag having volunteered as counsel
tor Josh, knowing the scope of the Squire’s
brain,, arose and. addressed him tts follows:
“May it please your. Honor, I can es
tablish this man’s honesty beyond the
Shadow of a doubt; fori have twelve
witnesses ready to swear that they did riot
see him steal it.” :
The Squire : rested bis bead for a few
moments npon his hand, as if in deep
thought, and with great dignity anise,
and, brushing back bis hair, said:
: “If there are twelve who did not see
him steal it, and only three who did, I
discharge the. pruoner.” ' J
’HOW A- LiAX'tfAATAT»*T>*6
On a certain occasion, whiles.medical
professor was engaged practical
lectures to tt»public 1 ,«. h&<
had devised a mode of hpifg Urn laugh
against the doctor. He mounted toe stage,
#nd being questioned •. about biis ’disorder,
said, gravely— .
.. -V
“ Sad ~ disorder,, sir», bqt perfectly cura
ble,” said the doctor.
“ Well,” said the man, “ but I’Ve a
worse complaint than lost my
memory.”
“Quite curable,,also,” :pd<ted foe doc
tor; “but 1 must make my preparations.
Come again after dinner, and I will lie
ready for you ; but pay down seventy-five
cents.” -
The man, who intended to Intvtf his fun
gratis, refused; bat the doctor declared he
never let any one down from the stage till
he paid something. “IJsside,” said the
doctor, “ how can I trust you ? : You say
you are a liar; and have no memory ; so
you will either break your proanise or for
get all about it.” A loudlaughfrom the
audience expressed their acquiescence in
the justice of the claim, and the poor fool
was compelled tolajrdown the'cash. No
one supposed he wouldconfe again, but he
still hoped that he might , turn the tables,
and presented himself at the appointed
hour The doctor received 5 him with gnat
gravity, and addressing the audience, said>
“ Gentlemen you may, think >t a joke,
but I assure you, on the honor of a gen
tleman, that it is a very serious affair; and
I hereby engage to return the money if the
audience do not acknowledge
lam entitled to foe reward.” . x ;
The man sat down, pud (urnipbad
with a glass of water. The doctor pro
duced a box of flattened bladrpillk; and to
show that they were pefectly harmless; of
fered to swallow three or four himself.—
He then gave one of them, to the
who, after many yrry faces, bit into it,
started up, spitting, and exclaimed:
“ Why, hang tne, if it ain’t eobbler’s
wax!”
“ There,” said thedoetor, lifting up both
hands, “did anybody qyffj W, pud
den, so miraculous a. recovery ? . He ip ev
idently cured of, lying, for he lias fold the
truth iustantlyand the menwecy, my good
fellow,” continued hc^., patting him on the
back, “ if you ever forget this, call bn me,
and Til return the money.” ' '
We guess the young man will never
have occasion to apply for foeretum of
his money. He evidently poqsidfiafoat
doctor “a bad egg” fo trifle with.
Working Guua— Hippy kirls— who
cannot love them ? Wifobheekstikefoe
rose, bright eye* aad> bias tic ; step, bow
cheerfiiUy they gotowork, Owwqcd
for wives.
Blessed indeed, wUI men' be ' who' secure
such prizes.’ 1 r Cbhfefosii fooecfohbdb nbtn
ing bat afldayand lire to follow the
fashions ; who never earn the bread they
eat, or the shoes they wear; wbo orelan
guid and lazy from- one week’s end to an
other. Who, but: a «mpletenand a prip
iqjay would prefer one «f, o*.
Were Iqoking for 8 companion ?, Give ps
the working girli lare' wbm their
weight in gold. Ycra nevcr sbe them
mincing along,orjumjping a doaen feet to
steer clear ofa spider or fly. They, have
no affectation, nq aßyauwebpat foeStV
When they meet you, ti»ey without
patting on a half dqren airs, or tfyiiig tb
show off to a bef'tefadvmrtbgo, 1 ' andytta
feel as if you were'talking to a human
being, and not to .a painted orfoUmv
angeL,,. .. I
If girls knew how redly they miss it,
while they endeavor to show Off fhbir def
icate hands ahd unsbUed Bkin,' and ‘pat 6ni
a thousand airs, they 'would eiye worlds
for the situation' pf the wbrkmg laidies,
who are abbye them 'in fotefiigetooe; m
honor; iheWrythirig, as the 'heavens are
above the earth.' -. .
CT A lady who had boated highly, at
a dinner party, pf the good manners of
her little darbng. addrresed-liim ithfii:
“ Charley, my dear, won’t iybuihttre sbme
beans’” “No!” wafc -- the ill-mannered
reply of the petulant cherhb!' 1 ' fai No
what?” “No beans,” said the ohUd.’ };
O* Charcoal put to the roots nf
and otter flowering plants will redden
them vividly; flowers nearly >Hl?tb 1 ' l 'bblng
thus turned to a deep red, • tometifoee’ iff
together, and sometimes tnixedyhththe
lighter hue in half adozen'varieties from
one and the same root.
O' Prentice laughs at the As
tounding robbery,” whi&fi^u^ilyep
pears in amne^qtji
the Government. He says heoocasionally
sees of astoondiog ho
longer astqtmds. *
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