■ v jBWTKRB’ -
C APf*TOl,
Ibis Biixdex-v
9-*SK BOOK KiwiMJg,’
, a
Bblifihinent is chiefly afevotaA .
iMtnmnwiaf M)M. ror 1,1
Th2L ,I! **
JttpUfo, ruled and bound to wA*t . /T ttr l*>-
the beet linen papar.’ c «"*i.v
others, desiring to Ure ihelrßook. „ „
American, I^^,®*^“''-,
ttowri snUtanttfl half lOndliuT^
Pamphlet lawsTbcSnd
■K-be tent to natron. a jlffiffi, 0 ’! 1 ."-
tMaAI; packed and returned by ErnST
■fxasfed, Addreea f, L. HOTTER
B 1
Hi BERN, at the Wlmnr OOe. „„
Koaoa. and Ticinlty. They will
to *» binding, and recede
Aa chargee, for all who enUnatth “r w 0 * t"
m • [March 31, XSffiMj
■ .'■ CQ (»» i
% 01-g! i
y *
Im ...«« *
! to * S* <1
« ! -Sill
( J *«l
:«1 ssss*
i; : S.-s jg-.-s
<" pp ’“ .o j- s-a
i 0 S 3 ■fjhc •£
» «<3J3§-®-d
:, m <1=!Os«
I :|s|
p §*«£«
f swtiii
h 5 ® £ P*' „•=
OO" Ja £
£*-» ii
ahd : ever onward :
'EP ,BY STEP t
NDERSIGN ED DESIRES TO
hfc. old customer. and the pnblic genoreji,
* on ' ln i° D ry Good bn.Ci
•celrtd a largo and entirely new .tick , r '
IE S S GOODS ,
embracing all thelateet, prettlertaodmon
itonablk patterns.
► liich may be found every Quality of mevl.
Khich it would be too t-dtoi to
the lino of pure, fresh and cheap
EEIES & PROVISIONS
u«rk under” of «y competition. In
int 1 feelanre that I can render aatiafiictiun
if tonntry produce taken In exchange for
e high eat market price allowed,
re corner of Annie and Helen atreefs. Eaat
THOMAS HKBLOP
>}• 22,1882.
FA'OOB WETS,
I AND CONFECTIONER.
ri«IIISI*BTUIV. AltoosavPa^
’> CONSTANTLY ON HAND
SAD. CAKES, CANDIES
3E a®.E-A.3S^
MKAT&of hi. own nuwnOcture, which he
«U. wholesale at- rcUtl. at the moat rwwimi
rOßKWN BBOTTB. aucb a*
Ets, LEMONS, PINE-APPLES.
JNES, EAISINS, NUTS, &C„ &€..
id m Iheir reapectlvw
BAKED TO ORDER.
prauiom, on «bort notice eod in the nnt
yle of the art.
aeaad price my stock end you will find
cheep w een bepnrehued elsewhere.
'in and Sheet lion Ware.
‘OUTING, &C.
3 WOULD RESPECT
atone the eitlaen* oi 1
Mhe keep* constantly on hud
m oi OxAing, Parlor, Ogitr
of ett etylee end (lies, to anlt the “ -r
fhich he will sellst low price*, en rewun-
I M iranda large Dock of IVh gadSkrrt-
MMtaturell article* fbrcuUaarypnrpoM—
hrejfyt, dfc.
lurrhesedjfae right of dale in Blair county.
)VED SAUSAGE BTDFFER,
hich need* only to be pees to be eppredi
peeiewdby erery Sinner,' butcher M'tb.ee
it mchUe. 1
r attention paid, to putting upaPOOIIhO.
country. Spooling painted and put up
eonable term*. ’’f^ra.tfi.JjfiMy
. -FETTiNOiIE’S
uK News Agency,
LL, No. 7, MAIN STREET
RbpKS, BLANK BOOKS,
ERY, CONFECTICNARIKS
RS & TOBACCO,
NOTIONS IN GREAT VARIETY
MSBTANTLY OH AND.
XOYDipG. •
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TON, JAdK&CO..
HOUJDdTSBPBO. PA-
NTKEBS,
SrU, Johnson, Jatk
PSI ON THE PRINCIPAL
tf SUtw and Gold Jbr *al*. CoUtcttow
recaiTCd On depodt», j>*yab)* OB dc«»nd.
orrqpo» Ome, withtafienetat tWfrate*.
KEgSLER-—PRACTICAJ,
Wholesale andBetaABBBGS,
008, TAa»tBH-i|P#
IlMte tMtoeee, mad arttalratotanW^ 1
ssesa»ssaajwi
»y PWENJPS
aa-MW. -
D ' LARD OILS, OAM
**»■* 0
AT McCOaJHG««Sf«
•Mortautot nr jl njlQ ,
«r
,
Administrators and Kxeoutors Notices ...u
Merchant* advertising by ; the year, three squares,
vrith liberty to change.........; 10 00
I'rofeftffiODifl or Business Garde, not exceeding 8 Hues
f vith paper, per year 6 00
Communications of a political character or individual
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Advertisements not marked vrith the, number of inser
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Rasiness notice* ote ceuU per line forefery insertion,
obituary -notice* exceeding ten lines, cents a square
McCRUM & BERN,
fol. s
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
y„ H. MtO&VM. - ■ ■ ■ H. P. DKBN.
EDITORS ASD P&OPaiRTORb.
Per annntn, ioTarinbly io advance,) $1 60
All paper* duKODtinami at the expirajUon of the time
pul'l tor. ' : • .
TEBJIB OF ADVXRTUIKQ
1 insertion 2 <io. 3 do.
Four linen or less $ 25 $ ; $ 6 Q
tiw Square, (8 linen) 50 I 7a 1 <x)
Two - 06 “ ) 1 00 I 60 2 (>0
1 Three- •• (24 u ) 1 60 2 IK) 2 60
over three week# au«l lean than three, month*. 25 cents
per square lnsertion.
3 montbn.' 6 months. 1 veer.
$ 1 50 $ 3 00 svs$ v 5 00
2 60 4 00 7 00
4 00 6 00 10 00
6 00 8 00 12 00
Six lioet or- lew.
Onb eqnare -
Two u *
Three “
Half a column
(M)« COIUBJD*
(CMf?
“BE MY MOTHER TILL I DIE.”
•This is the title of a now and truly beautiful war ballad.
It. i*t {banded upon one of the most touching Incidents of
i hi* ivcent battle of Gettysburg. After the fight a young
Union private of rare soul and abilities, mortally wounded,
was taken to the house of a Union * family. Thin family
comprised three orphan sisters of eighteen, thirty, and
rliirty-ftve. At their Imndf? he- received every attention,
and found the comforts uf » home. Three h urs after
Wing brought to this place, and hating hud ins wounds
iirrs*od by ft surgw-n. the ladies took their sewing and sat
mar the bedside. Some time before his death the |K»or
soldier, looking them in the face with tendered emotion,
littered the substance of the following beautiful ballad:
Ladies, some one be my mother.
Then ’twill seem that 1 am at home
I’ll imagine I’m a brother,
Hearing familiar tone.
But I want a mother near me.
With that Heaven in her eye.
Ladies, some one be my-muther.
B»* my mother‘till 1 die.
• HoatH.—Now I feel my wound U mortal.
* Soon I’ll breathe my parting sigh
Ladle*. some one be my mother.
Be my mother till 1 clie.
Long before 1 was a t«olUter.
Long before T fought and bled.
In one cottage all the d*ar ones. .
Thus would gather round rat Imm,
!>o not treat me as a stranger.
Let me feel a brother's tie.
Une of you 1 want aa mother.
Be my mother till I die.
Uhokph.—Soon no wicked wkr .will harm me.
Angels bringing peace are high :
Ladies, some one be my motlur.
Be my mother till I die.
fried
PARENTAL CORRECTIONS
A. LESSON TO PARENTS.
I had been married fifteen years.—
beautiful daughters enlivened the
domestic hearth, the youngest! of -whom
was in her eighteenth yearj A more
happy, and contented household was no
where to be found. Illy wife >vas amia
ble, intelligent and contented. ; We were
not wealthy; but Providence bad pre
served us from want; and we had learned
that “contentment without wealth, is
I tetter, than wealth without contentment.”
It was my custom, when returning
home at night, to drop into One of the
many shops that at® constantly open in
the busine& streets of the metropolis, and
purchase some trifling dainties, such as
fruit* and confectionery, to jpresent to
mother and the children. I need not say
how dilighted the little ones were at
this slight expression of parental consider
ation. On one occasion I had purchased
some remarkably fine apples. After'a
repast, half a dozen were untouched, and
my thrifty companion forthwith removed
them to the prqperplace of deposit, where
it.was Iter custom to preserve the remains
of our nicknacks. A day or two after,
when I seated myself at the table to dine,
she said to me, smilingly:—
“So, father has found the way to my
safety-box, has he?”
i was at a loss to understand, the mean
ing, and Aesired her to explain.
“ Have you not been in my drawer ?”
“ What drawer ?”
“ The upper drawer in my chamber bu
reau. Did you not take therefrom the
largest of the pippins I had put away for
the igirls?”
No—l did not!”
“ You did not ?”
“ Not I! 1 have not seen an apple
since the evening I purchased them!” V
A slight cloud passed over the counte
nance of my wife. She was troubled.
The loss of the apple itself was nothing :
but we had carefully instructed our chil
dren not to appropriate to their use, any
article whatever of family corsumption,
without permission ; and as permission,
when the demand was at nil reasonable,
had never been denied them, she was loth
to suspect any one of them of theoffence.
We bad a servant girl in the fanulv, bflt
as she was supposed to know notmng of
■*bo apples,.my wife hesitated to. charge if
upon .her. She at length broke thesilence’
by saying;—
We must examine the affair. I can
hardly think one of the children would
lf we find them guilty we must
6 00 10 00 14 00
10 00 14 00 20 00
14 00 ,20 00 40 00
1 75
, -’“.No sa;’\
Now, it is evident that falsehood ex
isted somewhere. Could it be that one
of my children had told me a lie ? The
thought harrassed me. I was not able to
attend to business. I went to the store—
but soon returned again. Meanwhile, the
servant, girl had communicated to her
mistress that she had seen our youngest
go into the garret with a large apple, the
morning before. On examination, the
cor6, and Several pieces of the rind were
found upon the floor. I again called
Mjiry to me and said to her, affectionately ;
“ Mary, my daughter, did you not go
into the garret yesterday ?”
“ Yes, sir-”
“ Did you notice anything on the floor ?”
“ No, sir.”
1 was’- unwilling to believe my sweet
child capable of telling me a falsehood:
but appearances were against her. The
fault lay between her and the servent,
and while I was desirous to aquit my
child, I did not wish to accuse unjustly
the negro. 1 therefore took Mary into
a room alone, I spoke- to her on the enor
mity of lying—of the necessity of telling
(he truth—of the severe punishment I
should lw compelled to inflict upon her, if
site did not confess the whole to me., if
indeed she had. Gradually. I became
convinced of her guilt : and not ' that 1
felt determined she should confess. My
threatenings were not without effect.—
After weeping and protesting her inno
cence, and weeping and again prostrating,
my threatening seemed to alann her, and
falling upon her knees, she said:—
“ Father, I did take the apple 5”
>
Never shall I forget that moment.—
My child confessed that she was a liar in
my presence!
Suppressing my emotidn, l{retired ; and
Mary, rising from her position, ran to her
mother, and in a paroxism of grief cried
out: —
“ Mother, I did not take the apple.-
But father has made me confess that 1
did.” \
Here was a new aspect of affairs- Lie
multiplied upon lie. Could it be possi
ble! My dear-Mary, who had never been
known to deceive us—so fkfiectionate —so
gentle—so truthful in ail the past —could if
be possible that she was a confirmed liar!
Necessity was stronger than the tenderness
of a father. I chastised her for the first,
time in liaj life—-severely, severely chas
tised her! ; It almost broke her heart—
and I may add, it almost broke mine also. •
Yet Mary was innocent! After events
proved that the negro was the thief.—
She had coloured up the stojy of the gar
ret, knowing that Mary would not deny
having been there, and to make the cir
cumstance strong pgainst her, had strewn
apple-rinds on the floor. I nevqr think
of the event without tears. But it has
taught me a useful lesson, and that is
to threaten a child into a lie, when it may
be it is telling the truth. The only lie I
eyer knew Mary to tell me, I myself
forced upon her by tbreatenings. It has
also fixed in my mind the determination
to employ no servant in my family, when
I can possibly do without.
I The foregoing is a continuation of the
article on Parental Correction in the Sep
| tember number. ; The author is unknown,
| but if such impressive lessons, have their
I due effect on the minds of the parents, it
will save many a pang in after years.—• |
; “ I read your September article on Pa-\
rental Corrections,” said a sunny-faced,,
: energetic business man the other day. 1 ;
bad just such a case in my own family.
The mother whs extremely impatient at I
the child ; but 1 took him to his room, |
! soothed his spirit as much as possible, and !
S slept with hun in his own little bed all I
night.” A neighbor of ours, one of the |
veiy best of men in all the relations of i
domestic, social and business *life, cor
rected a little son of his with great harsh- j
ness and severity.; The next day the boy j
was taken ill, was'sick fora long time,
and barely escaped the grave. In the ap- j
prehension of the death of the child, and !
in the contemplation of bis daily sufferings, '
he endured such inexpressible mental tor
ture, he declared he would never punish a
child of his again. This was going to
opposite extreme- It is seldom wise, in
any domestic management, to lay down a
reprove them. Will you please look into
it?”
“ The girls were separately called into
my presence; ; the oldest first.
“ Eliza, did you take from your moth
er’s drawer, an apple ?”
“ No, sir.”
“ Maria, did you take (rom your mother’s
drawer, an apple?”
“.No, sir.
“ Man, - , did you lake from your mother’s
drawer, an apple ?”
“No, sir.”
“It must have been taken by the ser
vant : call her to me,” said f addressing
my wife. •
“Nell, how came you to take from
the drawer of ypur mistress, without
permission, the largest ot, the apples she
had placed there ?”
“ Wot apple?”
“ Did you take no apple from* the
drawer of ,vour mistress ?”
ALTOONA, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER. 28, 1863
■ Medo-Persian law; to pass any irrevoca
ble edict: to make any unchangeable reg
i illation. Such things are unliecoraing in
; themselves, and indicate a weak mind
;We are the creatures ot circumstances.
It is best to cultivate force' of character,
and leave ourselves free to act according
|to the exigencies of the moment. In ref
erence to any action, whether good or bad.
there is-so much to modify it that cannot
j hie forseen, that the highest wisdon is to
; leave one’s self free to act when the time
for action comes, steadily aiming to avoid
j haste and harshness •. seeking to discreet
| medium between leniency and sternness:
| between license jynd liberty. But in ref
| erence to all our dealings with our ehil
| dren, knowing iiow fallible we are, knowing
j the numerous sources of misinformation
| and mistakes around us, it is well, if error
j must be committed, that it should he. on
' the side of patience, forbearance and a
loving heart. Our children are unresist
ing, helpless; thgy look to us naturally
for acts of tenderness and love toward
them; and if. instead, they should meet
an over-share of sternness, of an unre
lenting nature, the heart is soon wounded,
i the affection chilled, their trustingness
i crushed, and the foundation is laid for a
spirifgof enmity, dislike, and actual cast
ing off of the fie which funds to home and
all its endearments : and when that is
once fairly done, the mischief is without
remedy in all time thereafter. Let pa
rents bear these things in mind. A fitful
recognizance of their truthfulness is not
sufficient: tie* impression should be of an
abiding character, for none other will Ik:
sufficient to restrain the promptings of an
impetuous nature or of a hasty temper
ment; thus it is that, in a moment, some
times an -act lias been committed or
a word uttered, laying the foundation for
life-long remorses I
j An Item Which Kvkisv Man Shovi.d
Rkad. —We have probably all ot us met
with instances in which a word heedlessly
spoken against the reputation of a female
has been magnified by malicious minds
until the clon-i inns liecome dark enough
to Overshadow her whole existence. To
those who are accustomed —not neces
sarily from had motives, but from thought
lessness—to speak lightly of females, we
reccommend the “ hints" as wortljv of
consideration: “ Never use a lady's imme
in au improper place, at an improper
time, or in mixed company. Never
make assertions about her that you think
are uiftrue, or allusions that you feel she
herself would blush to hear. When you
meet with men who do not scruple to
make use of a woman’s name in a .reck
less a,nd. unprincipled manner, shun them,
for they are the very worst members of
honor —every feeling of humanity. Many
a good and worthy woman’s character
has been forever ruined and her heart
brqken by a lie, manufactured by some
villain, and repeated where it should not
have been, and in the presence of those
whose . little judgment could not deter
them from circulating the foul and brag
ging report. A slander is soon propa
gated, and the smallest thing derogatory’
to a woman’s character will fly on the
wings or the wind, and magnify as it
circulates until its monstrous weight
crushes the poor unconscious victim.—
Respect the mime of women, for your
mothers and sisters are women; and as
you would have their fair mime untar
nished, and their lives unembittered by
the slanderer’s biting tongue, heed the ill
that your own words may Mflg upon the
mother, the sister, or the wife, of some
feUow creature.
Ice FUJI Dipxhebia. — A correspondent
of the Providence Journal vouches very
strongly for the efficacy of ice as a cure
lor diplheria, and all prdihaiy infiama
tions of the throat. The manner of ap
plication is as follows:
“ Break up a squill lump of ice in a
towel and gut pieces in a bowl. Take
position slightly inclined backward, either
in a chair or a sofa. Proceed for a half
an hour with a teaspoon to feed yourself
■with small lumps of ice, lettingj them dis
solve slowly in the back part o? the mouth
or the entrance of the throat. A single
such application will often break up a
common sore throat, which otherwise
would have n course of two or three days.
In case of a very bad sore throat, use the
ice frequently and freely. In case of ul
ceration or diptheria, keep a small lump
pf ice constantly in the mouth.
: (9*Jenny June points out the way to
jwrih a woman. She says:
“ The most potent weapon in the hands
of a man is generous devotion and gal
lantry towards women. It is a thousand
times more effective than beauty of per
sons or grandeur of intellect, because,
without this, few* woman will care for
either .the one or the other, and with it
will quickly invest the possessor with
every other desirable attribute. A chiv
alrous bearing at once exalts a man i nto
a hero, and habitual kindness, considera
tion, and a certain deferential politeness
in his conduct towards women, mark the
gentlemen.”
[iKHEPKXDFVT or KVERTTRTSt).]
A cotemporary relates the following:—
Our esteemed friend, David P. Mcßrien,
i Esq., of New York, tells a good note on a
.Jersey lawyer. '!he hero of our sketch,
during the. last hot summer months, used
! o occasionally %orship at the shrine of
Gambrius, (Lager King,) on Broadway.
One sweltering day he got pretty, “ mel
! low." having moistened his thorax too
i much with the German beverage, and
proceeded to navigate to his law office.
He took up a substantial looking white
hat. and with r a father puzzled look was
making an attempt to put it on tideways.
Of course it wouldn’t fit. He looked in
side. holding (f up toward the light, and
read alouii. “Jonas Shooter. Esq., Attor-
I ney at Law. Jersey C.’ity."
(,>W. A,//) — “ '1 hat’s irty hat—of course
it is.”
Another attempt to put it on sideways,
no use ; again; taking if off, and again
read, “ J onad Shooter, Esq., &c.”
After another trial, and finding it didn’t
fit, the gentleman commenced feeling all
over his head, evidently as if to assure
himself that no pertuberance Lad suddenly
declared itself. Having satisfied himself
on that point, he once more read the ad
dress, had another trial, and still side
ways. i here he stood, perfectly mysti
fied ; bat an idea lighted up his face, and
he railed the waiter whom he apostro
phised thll:
“tan you read writing?"
" Yes, -ir."
“ W ell, will you be good enough: to
tell me whose hat this is ?”
Herman,took the head-case, and hav
ing read, said--
“It belongs to Jonas Shooter, Esq.,
Jersey City."
"Does it?” and looking ail around,
with the most comical air in the world,
exclaimed does it ?—then ir/w In tin
{/nr) uuKchiej iwt 1
How Tui.OOK i'UEri'V IN A PICTUIiK.—--
Ihe great defect ol photograph portraits
is the stem appearance of the subject,
giving the impression .that the sitter was
very cross at having to sit at all for a
likeness. J bis is caused by the necessity
of Laving to keep an immovable counte
nance during the operation, and the con
sequent endeavor to prevent any play ol
the features. A very simple, but affect
ive contrivance has been adapted to over
come this difficulty. A large mirror,
mounted on a moveable stand, is wheeled
to the side ol the camera,, and the sitter
is enabled to “ see himself as others see
him.” The effect is instantaneous on
every sitter. The stem scowl suddenly
changes to a pleasant smile, and when
that desirable object is attained, the Ope
rator suddenly Axes the impression on the
plate. The improvement is very great,
but so simple that every one wonders
why it was not thought of before.
A Cußiqcs Theoky of the Duration
of the Wah.— ' The Rev. John Gilbert,
of Clay county, Kentucky, writes to a
|friend in Frankfort, giving a curious
theory with regard to the duration of the
present war. In his fetter he says:
“ During the Revolutionary War corn
blades had seven points to them, that; is,
the blade grew in such a manner as; to
have seven distinct points or ends corres
ponding with the sharp point’of the blade.
These seven points indicated the duration
of the Revolutionary War. _ Now there
are but three separate and distinct, points
to many of the blades, and this. indicates,
very clearly to :my mind, that the dura
tion of the present War will be three
years—the points of the blades represent
ing years.” ;
Three Important Things.— Three
things fo love-—courage, gentleness, and
affection. Three things to admire—in
tellectual power, dignify and gracefulness.
Three things to hate—cruelty, arrogance
and ingratitude. Three, thirtgs to delight
i n—beauty, frankness and freedom. Three
things to wish for—health, friends and a
cheerful spirit.- Three things to pray for
—faith, peace, and purity of heart. Three
things to like—cordiality, good humor and
mirttafuiness. Three things to avoid—idle
ness, loquacity, and flippant jesting. Three
things to cultivate—good books, good
friends, and good humor. Three things
to contend for—honor, country, and friends.
Three things to; govern— temper, impulse,
and the tongue, i ' ■
The Oswego Times wants to know
“ if a man has torticollis, anchylosis of the
radiCus, paralyzation of the iter aterito ad
puartem ventriculum of the lavater labli
superiosis aliquinasi, and besides does not
feel very well himself, whethei he would be
exempt from thb draft
People cannot always fell. If the man
has a sound,spinal back-bone and $3OO or
a good substitute, he will most , likely ob
tain a favorahles bearing. ” • ■ ■
“ Pat, is youf sister’s child a boy or a
girl?” . . V
“Faith, an’ I don’t know whether I’m
an nncle or an bunt.” :■
THE WRONG HAT.
INFORMATION WANXfaI),
Why do young ladies put their hands in
the. pockets of their cloaks and sacques
when promenading, apd thus incur the
penalty of a vulgar habit, and a stoop too
decided even to please the’ must lervent
admirers of the “ Grecian bend ?” Why do
ladies who wear stylish Balmoral petticoats,
or the even more chaste-looking white ones
with ample skirts and delicately worked
borders, hold up their outer garment at so
great a height, while those wlto are less
luxuriously provided, keep theirs, down
with invincible prudishness' Why do
young men who never smelled gunpowder
and never mean to, wear undress military
caps, and assume a military strut as they
parade the street? Why do other voting
men who affect to be gentlemen (lie -iven
save the mark!)smoke cigars as th y walk
with ladies—can it be because they fancy
they add to their attractions or reputation
or refinement by so doing? Why do gin
palaces Haunt in gorgeous array, anil sport
magnificent mirrors in front of the rubi
cund noses and inflamed visiges of their
mottled victims? Why do undertakers
wear an habitually solemn face, and mod
ulate their tones, in the most comron
place conversation; even to the minor key
of subdued and sympathizing grief? 'Why
do apothecaries dress off their windows
with show bottles of green, (due, and crim
son, that are never touched except to re
store the fading hues of their garnish
liquids? Why do dealers pretend to be
“selling off'at cost,” and constantly re
plenish their stocks, to again incur the
like “ tremendous sacrifices ?” Why do
charcoal venders, tfie soap-fat man, the
fishmongers, and the whole,tribe of itiner
ant hawkers and peddlers indulge in cries
that no one can understand ; and few in
terpret ? Why are railroad understrap
pers, whether at stations or in carriages,
always morose, uncommunicative, and
chary of anything but foul and blasphe
mous language ? Why cjo policeman stand
idly all the daylong in sunny corners in
winter, or shady ones in summer, and'
suffer the law r to be broken with impunity ?
Why, in fine, is it that
“ All tilings are not us. they seem,
aiid that men sacrifice so. devotedly and
unremittingly to the false god, Sham?
& Some years ago an old sign painter,
who was very cross, very gruff, and a lit
tle deaf, was engaged to paint the Ten
Commandments on some; tablets in a
church, not five miles from Buffalo. He
worked two days at it, and at the end of
the second day the pastpr of the church
came to see how the work: progressed.—
The old man stood by, smoking a short
pipe, as the reverend gentleman ran his
eyes over the tablets.
‘‘ Eh!” said the pastor, as his familiar
eye detected something vyrong in the word
ing of the precepts; “ why, you. careless
old person, you have left a part of one of
the commandments entirely out; don’t
you see ?”
“No; no such thing,” - said the old
man, putting on his spectacles; “no;
nothing left out —where t” :
“ Why, there,” persisted the pastor ;
“look at them in the,Bible; you have
left some of the commandments out.”
“Well, what if I have?”' said old Ob
stinacy, as he ran his eye ‘complacently
over his work, “ what if 1 have ? There’s
more there now than you’llkeep!”
Another and a more correct artist was
employed the next day.
A Practical Joke.: — “pur acquain
tance W had, a few; years sinqe,
.a female ancestor on the maternal ' side,
who. although residing in the vicinity of
Mobile for a lifetime, bad never yet been
there. ’ After repeated solicitations, how
ever, she was induced to pay the family a
visit. Her grandson, young W———
than a boy of fifteen, but. who already
exhibit that peculiar faculty for perpetra
ting “ practical jokes” which characterize
him yet, persuaded the cook to place a
a large dish of boiled crabs before the old
lady, well knowing that she had never
before set her eyes on one. ; Upon seating
herself at/the table, the unusual dish at
tracted Ur attention. Carefully drawing
Herspeq|acles from their case, she adjusted
them firmly on her noise, and took a long
Stare at the singular-looking “edibles;”
at last, seizing a fork, she made a despe
rate thrust at onp' of them, exclaiming,
with a long breath—
“ Heavens and yearth, who ever seen
such spiders before !”
. lirArtemus Ward says t “ 1 have al
ready given two to the war, and
I stand ready to sacribmmy ; wife’s brother
rafher’n not see the robellyon krbsht—
And if wuss cums to l’ll shed every
drop of blud ail my able bofied relashuns
has got to prosecOot the war.
isfe tpr
The dpctor sboqk hi? head and said:
“You prepare for tbewmp|h”
“ MThat!” exclaimed bq»-
bijmd, “ft iff Hkety'to rt”.'"
EDITORS AND PROPRIETOR
: ' >' ;Vv ''r f c^'r:, r 'ir **Y
VV oil as. —Place her among flowers, fos
ter her as a tender plant, tod shbwiitlung
«f fancy, waywardness andsometunsefol-
K—annoysd.V a
touch of a butterfly’s wilH&aodreaflyto
faint at the rustle of even a beetle.; the
zephyrs are too rough, the showers too
heavy, and she is overpowered by the per
fume of a rose-bud. But, let real eqlain
ity e une, rouse bar the i
fires of herheart, and mark her then
!tow her heart siilpgtbena itself—how
strong is her purpose. Plade her in the
fieatr of -battle, and give her 1 a child, or a
bird, or anythiug she loves or pities, to
protect, and see her, is a relative instance,
raising hpr white arms as a shield, a* her
own blood crimsons her
praying for life to protect the hpjptess.—
Transplant her in the dark pia<& m earth
and awaken her energies to actioq, ard
her breath becomes & healing, herprpsence
a blessing. She disputes, inch by inch, the
stride of the stalling pestilence, whep mf "
the strong and brave, shrinks away pale
am! affrighted. Misfortune hauntsher not ;
she wears away a life of slight endurance,
ltd goes forward with less timidity than
to her bridal- In prosperity dm ip % bud
lull of colors, waitiiig but for thp wimb of
-.adversity to scatter thenT abroad—pure
gold, valuable, but untried itv the furnace.
In siiort, woman is a uiiraclp—a mystery,
the centre, from which radiates the great
charm of existence.
Laconics.— Benignity is preferable to
munificence.
Ait faults are parfionqble when one has
the courage to avoid them. ’
Avoid political and religiousdiscuasions
as much as you can.
Kefiect calmly—resolve-prudeutly— {-per
form promptly.
ilaaty words are soon repented. i
Evil thoughts are worse enemies than
lions or tigers. f / y
In conversing, give all leave to SP3& in
their turn, • i .
Speak no evil of the dead or the absent:
Keep aloof from quarrels ; he neither a
witness nor a party. ' |
One ounce of discretion is worth a
pound of wit. ;
Liberality is not in giving largely, but
in giving wisely, : ‘
If the counsel be good no matter .who
gave it. ,
What Entitlesto Credit.—Property,
of , course, we hear the reader reply. iCa®
there be any doubt on that;point* i *
It is very true that proper# ia.ato%
of credit, but property iaiot (hepnndpal,
thing inquired about Whep' dre&t iH
Character is more important - thaii fh'ht.
We de not. mean -; assurances ofahoneaty,
merely, but this: Will lift ifutn
be says he will, and i$ -Ibo ijmq *nd
manner that he promises 1 If so, be is
entitled to reasonable credit, though he
own no rood of earth; if not thus ! iigor'-
ouslyr cpuaqentioqs Bffimjß'r®e*
«W» little wnsideration, though he,he
the owner of millions. Froqipt pay wins
the day. We have had considerable busi
ness experience, and’ the $$ nt
the matter of credit, is embadied an tius
paragraph.
kpP* Qot.—A ypnpg lady: who lives
neat; a railroad crowing appear to have
no occupation except perpetually poking
her head out of the window. A'wag* the
Other morning hailed her from the’Stdect
- “Hellow, Miss?” ’ ‘ *
“What do you want?” said she, aSbes
the first flush of indignation at being thus
accosted. ■
“ The aiftt rung y?t,V was the. flflr
swer.' . ■ ; , Sv , '
“ What do yon mean,” asked Miss. --
“ Why ” was
you are looking put all the timfe” - •<
younglady y
a jerk, and the window went down witH a
slam.
: The latest style of hoop skirtd is the
self-adjusting, 1 double hack ac6dn,bdatle
etrusca'n, face expansion/ PidclomiMlif
tachment, gossamer indestructible,'
ticomorama. It is a very sweetthingj^*
A Dutchman was summoned fo court
to identify a stolen hog: Ohbdintf
by the lawyer if . the hog ;had ahyrear
marks, be replied; i( Te onfy earmarks
dat I saw vas dat his tail waaenloSH
little girly beihg asksd
mother, after She had; said lb*: Loss’s
Prayer, what she tnppoeed
meaning of amen, .
“ I guess it means r goodby^iswAlty-
Out of about four thousand, flhio
nnaAnm,
uoraHSOT ■■ f., ;ni. -;ii: t’=;; s<;\
?
■
m. 36.