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*<iß»«»»wff«iiiter ikmiL
*«**W fee 100 t^iou&eßtoMrtfe
H»*#ps«, frwh aad 68*4^™*”
-
■taWMadm price «uo»»d. ■
«r»*t of AanU »»JHrfrn *tnM>.b>t
tl#Ht ! TBOMAJIWBWP.
»COB WEJS,
AND CONFECTIONER,
□tuJteun. Auouu, Pa,
Oi^PAiO!I^r^.. i HAND
O, CAKES. JO&NI>IES
3 CREAM
IT& of hft own meimfctfomkwhkh fee
Wb4aab grreUtUet the amt i*»wt!-
rotuDaKrKirrrs, rachw*
UEMOSfS, PINE-AFFLEB,
aAJBIKB, l«3rEBi 4C., &C,
Am#, ca abort netfceawdla tt» ue»t-
r.priw ' sad yaa will ftiKi
■« 4»» hop«treh»»ll »l«wiKTri. J
FiSTTINGEfi’S
d Kews lgeacv..
h, No. r, MAIN STREET
BOOM, i BLANK HOOKA
Pf.
LS & TOBACCO,
Sticks ik
m*ssa okhajib.; -
<30., .
, - jupearji
ON.JAGfCjtpO.,
SOLLXDAnSBGBO, w-
JSTKEStS.
W<, Vafeutort; JEwt^C^^)
S ON TiBS BRHMJIPAL
l sar«r. «xi Oou
taitna on dMioaite, p4yiS**
t u|«m Mr****-
h«Hwr.
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VIoCRUM & BERN,
Hraw»».
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STEAM WORKS
ZANESVILLE, OHIO.
lire ABE NOW TURNING OUT A LAEGE
I f number of oar itaprav'Mi Portable Steam Engines,
mi.} Portable Circular: Saw, Mills, iu» well as Stationary
gugiae* and Saw Hills, many of which are findiogtbelr
fitj into BUir.Cambiia, Huntingdon and Crawford Couu
•>j, and other parte of Urn State of Pennsylvania. Those
dresdy received and induration, aregiviup the moat en
nr* laiisfactioD. There is how hardly a State or Territory
~ the Union, but that imr Improved Portable Engines
,>id Saw Mills are in nee, in. All our Kngins Lave Spark
vrrefter SUcka on them which confine the flying spark*.
We would reepoctfuliy refer you to the following gentle*
-ucu and Coiilfiruiee-fbr the porulrfllty. utility and prac
.ical operation* of our Portable Steam Engines and Saw
vii’.U:
I
•I
Uaktstowm, Crawford Co . Pa.,)
May Ifilh, 1863. {
Messs-a J. k i. 11. Detail ‘.—Gtntlemen .—We received
mr Twenty Horae Power Portable- Engine and SuW Mill,
>u g<H»dorder. W© are perfectly satisfied with U; every
thing works to our entire satisfaction—ln fact beyond our
We sawed 4000 feet of white-oak boards In
are hours, and could have done marc in the some time,
li.id we have had good logs.
We take pleasure in recommending those in want of
Saw Mills and Engines to purchase of you.
Respectfully, C. REYNOLDS k K. ANDRESS.
We are authorized to say, for Mr. Samuel Milliken,
llollidayabarg, Pa„ that the 20 horse power Portable £n
;iue and Saw AUll we sold him, has fully met hi* expec
tation and proved itself to ho all that, was claimed fur it
in our circular; apd since starting it, baa sent in his
.jnlei for a second Engine and Saw Mill, of same power
%n<l size.
For further references, we will give the names of M.
f. Dill and Thomas M T Anliey, AUooua, Pa,; A. L, HolU
.lav. HoUidaysburg, Pa.; M. H- Adams. Cfesson, Pa.; W,
11. Zeigler and Joseph 8. Reed, Huntingdon. Pa*; Messrs,
[..a l>-y, £ Co.. Tyrone, Pa., all of whom have pursjmxed
l*KUblf> Steam Engine* and Portable Circular Ba#Mills
ef a--. .
- We fully warrant our Engines apdufidßirJMfea f°
matie of first-lass
iith Brass Ball Valves!n pumps and Checks, attl to *aw
lutn 6.000 to lOUWOfeyt of lumber perday. -
Orders solicited. Description circular bent,,t*» all cor
~p.iudeoU- Respectfully. a *
J. fJ. 11. DDT ALL,
Corner' Market and Srd Streets,
just opposite C. 0. R. Road Depot, Zaneewfile, Ohio.
June 2,18634 m.
0, YES! O, YES!!
THIS WAY! THIS WAY !
NEW
SPRING & SUMMER GOODS.
JB. HILEMAN has just received a
• large and well selected stock of Goods, consisting
f Cloths, Plata and Fancy Casslmerea, Sacinetta, Ken
tacky Jeans, Tweeds, Beavcrtwfls, Blue Drilling, and all
ther kind* of Goods Tor
MEN AND BOYS’ WEAR,
together with a grand and magnificent assortment of
LADIES’ DRESS GOODS,
'hcU as Rack and Fdncy Silks, ChaUies, Bereges, BnJUants,
lawns., Vdaspch Ckinits, Deßeges, Crapes, Prints,
Crape and SttPa Shawls. Mantillas, Vhdersleevesand
Hosiery. Sonnets and Bibbons. Cbliars, Hand
kerchiefs, Kid Cloves. Hooped Skirts. Skirt
ing, Lace Mitts , cfr.. rfr.
ALSO,
ricking* Check* Bleached and Unbleached Mnsllns,
Cotton and Linen Table Diaper. Crash, Nankeen, Ac
BOOTS AND SHOES
HARDWARE,
QJJEENSWARE,
WOOD AND WILLOW.WAUK,
OIL CLOTHS. CARPETS, AC.
GROCERIES.
•)or stock of Groceries is more extensive than ever, and
'ODilsts of Bio and Java Coffee, Crashed. Loaf and N 0.
'Qgars;-Green. Y. It. nud Black Teas: Molasses. Soaps,
Salt, Fish. Ac.
Thankful to the public for the very liberal patronage
heretofore received, be hope's by strict attention to basi
<ess, and an endeavor to please, to merit a continuance of
the same.
49* Gail ao4 examine bio Stock* and yon will be con
vinced th >t he has the best assortment and cheapest Goods
in th« market.
%* Country Prodace of all kinds taken In exchange for
•loods at market prices.
Altoona. April 28, 1963.
BEat & Cap Store.
THE PROPRIETOR OF THE
1 M EXCELSIOR” HAT and CAP Store,
would Inform Me customer*, and the Public generally,
that he basjnst returned from the city with the largest
and most railed stock of in his line ever brought to
Altoona, all of which he has now on exhibition and sale at
his new store*oom on Virginia street next door to Jag*
irard’a atom, tils stock embrae-eaU the latest styles of
SPRING AND SUMMER
HATS, ■ CAPS,
MISSES’ FEATS, &C.
gttom*.
■ttfc-;.
ilia Stock of Bota .DitCapa are of the very beat selection,
'f erci y aty le, cotor »i>d ahape, for both old and yotuig.
All he asks is that the people call and examine his stock,
•nd he feels confident that he can send them away re
lating, If pot in the purchase of soch aii article as they
wanted, at ths remembrance of haring looked upon the
'nndaomest stock of Hats, Caps, flats, ic., ever exhibited
mthjutgwn. •
I hare also on band an entirely new stock of
4jAM
• ■T; •/'. ■
Ujiiies’ and Ohildiens* Hats and Flats,
wliich 1 am confident cannot be eurpaeeed In the country,
, 111 of which I will Kell at the meet reanonable prices. " Be-
I member the Uall of Fashion 'when yon want anything in
the lino of bead covering, and call on
May I ’flS-tf ne SMITH.
Kew Drug Store.
BERLIN & CO., A.sNOUNCE TO
the citizens of Altoona and vicinity that they have
"pt-n*d a Drag mod Variety Store in
WORK’S NEW BUILDING,
Virginia Street, between Julia and Caroline Streets,
I‘liras. CBEMWAtS- DYE-STUFFS,
PATENT MEDICINES, PER FUMES IDS,
PAINTS, OIL, CLASS, PUTTY,
nid ail other articles usually sold in the Drag bnainees.
OUll MEDICINES
af e of the purest-and best quality, and onr Chemicals
hear the marks of the best manufacturers. .
Builders nnd others requiring to use
w ?«««• ‘Hhfi, VARNISHES, TURPENTINE,
foidoic Clou, Putty, Faint Bruiha, Sash Tools, <fc., rfe,
«fll find »ar assortment to be of fhei '
“l-ST QOAUTT AND AT THE LOWEST PRICES.
T"'purest Wines and Liquor* for Medicinal. Meehani
*Jl" j»nrpoa«s always instore,
piMl order* correctly and promptly answered, and
BTatcisos Prescriptions accurately compounded.
Iltooaa, May U, IMS.
W9l
Muskingum Valley
GORHBR OF
Market and Third Streets,
EXCELSIOR
where may be had
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
£. B. MeORUM. B. C, BERN,
EDITORS AKD PEOPEUTOEB
Per »qqdiu, (payable IbvarUbly Id advance,). $1 60
All paper* diacontinued at the expiration of the time
paid lor.
terms or advertising
I insertion 2 do. 3 do
Four tinea or leu.. % 2d $ $ 60
One Square. (€ line*)..... 60 76 1 00
Two “ (Id “ ) ....... 1 00 1 50 2 00
three “ (24 « ) 1 60 2 00 2 60
Over three weeks and fo*a than three months, 26 cents
per square for each insertion.
3 months. 6 months. 1 year.
Six lines or 1e55....;,......., 160 $ 3 00 $5OO
2 60 4 00 7 00
4 09 6 00 10 00
One square
Two u
Three «
Four
Half a column
One column.
AdmititPtratorp and Kxrcutocs Notices 1 76.
Sferchadta' advertising by the year. three square*,
vUb libertj lO 00
Professional or Business Cards, not exceeding 8 lines
with paper, per year. 5 00
Communications of a political character or Individual
Interest, will be charged according to the above rates.
Advertisements not marked with the number ef inser
tions desired, will toe continued till forbid and -charged
according to the above forms.
Business notfoes five cents per line for every insertion.
Obituary notices exceeding ten linos, fifty cents a square.
Cbtif* f ettrjT.
NOHOME.
No home, uo-BUMaI Poor wanderer.
XAJKTA hath uohOnae for the,*.
Forever.driywi to and fro,
A waif sea.
No home, no homo! Oh! bitter thought
And fall of agony.
It makes the eyes grow dim with tear*.
The heart boat wearily.
No home, no home I oh 1 cruel world,
Most cruet and unkind,
How gladly would I leave thy shores.
4ome better land to find.
Wharg£l«aces cold, and heartless words.
J?o more will stab the breast.
even 1 may hope to find
A place of peaceful rest.
A home, a home! how sweet the sound
Oh, Father! can it be.
In thy bright world Of joy and lore.
Hast thou a borne fur m« ?
If so, then will I meekly bear
With life and afrits woes,
thou wilt but receive me there.
When e’er my life shall close.
jftkrt
JULIA'S SELF-DENIAL.
Julia and Hatlie Ashley were just eight
years old. They were twins, and looked
so mnch alike, that persons out of the
family could not distinguish one from the
other, but were obliged to ask, “ Which
is Hattie * is this Julia Each of them
had a pair of bright blue eyes, rosy cheeks,
and long golden curls.
One noon, they rushed, quite out of
breath, into their mother’s room, exclaim
ing both together—
“Oh, mamma!' mamma! may we go ?
We’ve got an invitation! Uncle Wil
liam—”
“ Stop, little chatterboxes; one at a
time,” said the mother. “Julia, tell me
what it is you wish.”
“We came in to ask if we may go to
the Aquaria! Garden this afternoon. —
Uncle William says he’ll call for us. Yon
know we’ve never been. Please let us
go!”
“ Yes, do, dear mother,” added Hattie.
“ nearly all the girls in our school have
been expecting us. You will say yes,
wont - you? Please do.”
“ Certainly,” replied Mrs. Ashley, “ you
may go, since youy ancle is so kind as to
invite you to go with him. I have often
wished yon could go, for I thought the
visit would prove both amusing and in
structive. As I have not been well
enough to'go with you, I have said noth
ing about it.” ;
“ O, thank you, dear mamma,” said the
little girls both at once, at the same time
almost smothering her with kisses.
“ O, how nice that will be said Hattie ;
“only think, mamma, there is a seal
there, that plays cm the hand-organ.”
“Yes,” stud Julia, “and a lot of ani
mals, aQ in one cage together, called the
“ Happy Family.”
“ And Upde William says,” said Hat
tie, “ that tire may stay all the afternoon,
so as to examine everything, and see the
animals fed. O, I’m so delighted!”
“And I too,” said Julia, “I’m so
happy I don’t* know what to do. It is
real good in Unde William to invite us.”
The happy children thaif ran down
stairs to till their'uncle of their mother’s
consent.
“ I thought she : would let you go,” said
he. “ You must be good girls, and be
all ready when 1 call, You know I don't
like lo wait.”
“ O yes, unde, we shall get ready as
soon as we have, finished dinner,” said
Hattie. W
“I wouldn’t be a minute later for any
thing,” said Julia.
Early in the aftemoom Mrs. Ashley
called to her daughters, who were in their
room preparing ibrijie walk, paying—
“ Girls, bring iprffhose things you have
finished for Mrs. Oolan. Mary is going
home this afternoon, and ean leave them
on her way. I think it will be veiy cold
to-morrow, Mid the poor woman will need
the fiannels more than ever.”
Mn.' Ashley thought it proper that her
8 00 12 00
5 00
6 00 10 00 14 00
10 00 14 00 20 00
26 00 \ 40 00
14 00
“ Why don’t you go, Julia ? your uncle
is waiting."
“I think I’d rather stay at home,” said
Julia,‘‘and finish the waist, for it will
hurt your eyes to sew.”
“No, Julia, ’twould be a pity for you
to loss the opportunity of going with your
uncle —you may never have another.”
Julia immediately seated herself the
self-imposed task. At first the tears fell
thick and hist, as she thought of her great
disappointment, but she brushed them
away, and was soon so interested in her
work, and.in thinking how glad she was
that she could save her dear mother's
eyes, that she was soon quite cheerful.—
After working industriously for nearly
two hours, she had the satisfaction of
having completed her work, just as Mary
knoced at the door saying she was ready
to go.
ALTOONA, PA., TUESDAY, JULY 28, 1863
children should learn to be useful, and
had taught them to sew when quite
young, (She had been making some flan
nels for a poor sick woman, but hud
given them to the little girls the day be
fore to hem; (linking in .this way to im
press upon their minds the duty of doing
for others.
A few momenta after, Jnha entered her
mother’s room saying—
“ Here is the skirt; I finished it this
morning, but Hattie has not begun the
waist.”
“Not begun it!” exclaimed her mother.
“ Tin sorry. Mrs. Dolan ought to have
it this afternoon. My eyes trouble me so
much, that I fear if I work on it ’twill
bring on one of my bad headaches Tell
Hattie to come here.”
Hattie immediately obeyed the sum
mons ; she looked ashamed, and began to
make apologies, by saying—
“ I meant to have done it but 1 had my
lesson to learn: besides 1 didn’t know
there was any hurry about it.’’
“Hattie said her mother, sadly, “ don’t
make excuses. Your conscience must
tell you that you’ve done wrong. You
knew Mrs. Dolan was suffering, and sym
pathy for her should have caused you, for
this time at least, to overcome your bad
habit of putting off”
“ I’m very sorry,” said Hattie ; but
wont to-morrow do as well, mamma ?"
“ No, Hattie, it roust be sent to-day,
the poor woman has been without warm
clothing long enough. I will finish it.”
A loud ring announced the arrival of
their uncle, and Hattie ran quickly down
stairs, iut Julia remained behind.
• “ I don’t think, mamma,” said the
child, “ I ought to go. The Golden Rule
says, “Do unto others as ye would that
they should do unto you,” and I’m sure, if
my eyes pained me, I should want some
one to sew for me ; and if I were sick
and cold, I should like to have some one
make me nice, warm flannels.”
“Just as you please, my daughter,”
said Mrs. Ashley.
“ I’d rather stay,” said the sweet child,
“ please tell Uncle Wilham. If I go
doWn I might want to go with him.”
. Mrs. Ashley informed Julia’s uncle of
her-decision to remain at home, and he
left with Hattie, saying, “Ihoped to have
had them both with me.”
“Mamma," said Julia, as she sat at
the window, watching for her sister’s re
turn, “ I think I’m a great deal happier
than .if I had gone to the. “Aquarial
Garden.”
“I’m quite sure you are, my daughter.
We are always happier when we deny
ourselves anything for the sake of others.”
Mrs. Ashley knew that her little girl,
though young, had acted from a sense of
duty, that she was trying to follow the
example of that who “ pleased
not himself.”
Poor Hattie returned feeling very un
comfortable, for she knew' she had done
wrong. This knowledge, and her sister’s
absence, prevented her from enjoying her
self as she had anticipated. When she
learned why her sister remained at home,
she burnt into tears, saying—
“O mamma, forgive me, forgive me.
I’ll try to be more thoughtful of others,
I’ll try to be more like Julia.
■ Then throwing her arms around Julia’s
neck, she exclaimed—
“ ’Twas all my fault; you shant stay
at home again, because I’m naughty, and
selfish. I knew I ought to stay at home
and finish the waist, but I couldn't bear
to give op, going.”
The day was never forgotten by Hat
tie, and ever after, she persevered in her
resolution never to put off things which
ought to be done, and she was quite as
ready to practice self-denial as her sister
Julia. —Boston Recorder.
Women will be pure if men will be
true. You men, this great result abides
with you. If you would but see how
beautiful a dower grows upon the stock of
self-denial, you would give this plant the
honor it deserves If it seems hard and
homely, despise it not, for in it sleeps the
beauty of heaven and the breath of angels.
If you do not witness the glory of its blos
soming during the day of life, its petals
will open when the night of death comes
to gladden your closing eyes with their
grateful perfume.
[independent dt everything.]
The means known, so far, of promoting
longevity, have been usually concentrated
in short, pithy sayings, as, “ Keep your
head cool, and your feet warm” —“Work
much, und ent little,” etc.: just as if the
whole science of human life could be
summed up and brought out in a few words,
while its greatest principles were kept out
of sight. One of the best of these sayings
is given by an Italian in his 116th year,
who, being asked the means of his living
so long, replied with that itnprovision for
which his country is remarkable:
The following is about the best theory
of the matter: —Every man is born with
a certain stock ot vitality, which cannot
b“ increased, but may be husbanded. —
With tills stock he may live fast or slow —
u»ay live, extensively or intensively—may
draw his little amount’of life over a large
space or narrow it into a concentrated one;
but when his stock is exhausted, he has no
more. He who lives extensively—who
drinks pure water, avoids all diseases, ex
ercises sufficiently, but not too laboriously,
indulges no exhausting passions, feeds on
no exciting material, pursues no debilita
ting pleasures, avoids all laborious and
protracted study, preserves an easy mind,
and thus husbands his quantum of vitality
—will live considerably longer than he
otherwise would do, because he lives slow;
while he, on the other hand, who lives ex
tensively—who beverages himself on li
quors and wines, exposes himself to inflam
matory diseases; or causes that produce
them, labors beyond his strength, visitsex
citing scenes, and indulges exhausting pas
sions, lives on stimulating and highly-sea
soned*food—is always debilitated by his
pleasures.
A Scobk ok Impolite Things.—l.
Loud and boisterous laughing.
Reading when others are talking.
3. Reading aloud in company without
being :vsked.
4. Talking when others are reading,
o. Spitting about the house, smoking
or chewing.
0. Cutting finger nails in company.
7. Leaving a church before public
worship is closed. .
8. Whispering or laughing in the house
of God.
9 Gazing rudely at strangers.
10. Leaving a stranger without a seat,
in church or elsewhere.
11. A want of respect and reverence
for seniors.
12. Correcting older persons than your
self, especially parents.
13. Receiving a present without an
-expression of gratitude.
14. Making yourself the hero of your
own story.
15. Laughing at the mistake of others.
16. Joking of others in company.
17. Commencing talking before others
have finished speaking.
18. Answering questions that have
been put to others.
19. Commencing to eat as soon as you
get to the table ; and—
■2o. In not listening to what one is
saying in company —unless you desire to
show open contempt for the speaker. A
well bred person will not make an obser
vation whilst another of the company is
addressing himself to it.
Story of a Mississippi Landlord.—
Printed bills of fare were provided, yet the
lord stood at the head of the table, at din
ner, and in a loud voice read off the list oi
articles in a rhyming; way: “ Here boiled
ham, and raspberry jam; baked potatoes
and cooked tomatoes ;i turnips smashed and,
squashes squashed,” and so on. A stran
ge asked him, afterwasd, why he read it
aloud when printed copies were bn the
table. “ Force of habit,” replied the land
lord ; “got so used to it I can’t Ijelp it
You see I commenced business down here
at Jackson’, (the capital of Mississippi
“ and must all the legislature boarded
with me. There wasn’t a man of ’em
could read, so I had to read the bill of
fare to ’em.”
The Condition of the Sooth. —An
officer of a Connecticut regiment, who
was lately taken prisoner and carried to
Richmond, writes as follows to the New
Haven Palladium:
Before being taken prisoner I was some
what under the impression tlat we could
never whip the South. Since taking a
free trip to Richmond I have come to the
firm conclusion that we are whipping
them every day, and the time is not far
distant when they will have to nock un
der, whether our army advances ‘ or not.
You would be astonished to see the miser
able condition they are in.
Let our recreations be many, mod
erate, seasonable, and lawful. If your
life be sedentary, let it be tending to the
exercises of jour body; if active, more to
the refreshing of your mind. The use of
recreation Is to strengthen your labor
and sweeten your rest;
SECRET OF LONGEVITY.
" VViieu hungry of the best 1 eat,
And dry nud warm I keep my feet;
i screen my head from tun tad rain!
And let few cares perplex my brain.*’
BEAD BUBBCEIBEEB.
A long winded subscriber to a news
paper after repeated dnnnings, promised
that the bill should be paid by a certain
day. if hn were alive. The day passed
over and no money reached the; office. In
the next number, therefore, of the news
paper, the editor inserted; among the
deaths a notice of his subscriber’s depart
ure from this life. Pretty soon after the
announcement, the subject of it appeared
to, the editor —not with a pale and ghastly
countenance usually ascribed to appari
tions, nor .did he wait to be spoken to,
but broke silence: ■ ■
“ What, sir, did yon mean by publish
ing my death ?” 1
“ Why, sir, I meant what t moan when
I publish the death of any persm, viz: to
let the world know that you Were dead.”
“ But I am not dead.”
“ Not dead! then it is your fault; for
you told me you would positively pay
your bill by such a day, if yon lived to
(hat time. The day passed, the bill is
not paid, and you must be dead; for 1
will not believe that you would forfeit
your word.”
“ Oh oh ! 1 see that you hive got round
me, Mr. Editor, but no more about it—
here’s the money. And hark ye, my wag.
you’ll contradict my death next week
“ O, certainly, sir, just to please you,
though upon my word I can’t help think
ing you were dead at the lime specified,
and that you have came back to pay this
bill on account of your friendship forme.”
How Neab We Abe to Death.—A
writer in the Independent thus discourses
on our nearness to death:
When we walk near poweful machinery,
we know that one single misstep and those
mighty engines would tear us to ribbons
with their-flying wheels, or grind us to
powder with their ponderous jaws. So,
'when we are thundering across the lane
in the rail car, and there is nothing but
half an inch of flange-iron tb hold us on
the track. So, when we are at sea in a
ship, and there is but the thickness of a
plank between us and eternity. We im
agine then we see how close we are to the
edge of the. precipice. But we do not see
it. Whether on the sea or pn the land,
the partition which divides us from eter
nity, is something thinner than an oak
plank or half an inch of flange-iron. The
machinery of life and death is within us.
The tissues that bold these beating powers
in their place are too often not thicker
than a sheet of paper, and if that thin
partition Were pierced or ruptured, it
would be just the same with us as if a
cannon ball had struck ns. Death is in
separably bound up with life in the very
structure of our bodies. Struggle as be
will to widen the space, no man can at
any time go further from death than the
thickness of a sheet of paper. - '
Beautiful Extract. —When the sum
mer of our youth is slowly wasting into
the nightfall of age, and the shadows of
the past years grow deeper, aS if life were
on its close, it is pleasant 4o look Jback
through the vista of time upon the sorrows
and felicities of years. If we have a home
to shelter us, and friends have been gath
ered together by our firesides, and then the
rough places of wayfaring wilt have been
smoothed away in the twilight of bfe,
while the sunny spots we have passed
through will grow brighter and more beau
tiful. Happy, indeed, are those whose
intercourse with the world has not changed
the tune of their holier feelings, or broken
those musical chords of the heart, whose
vibrations are so melodious, so touching to
the evening of age.
Pretty Good.— A good joke is told of
an Indiana captain and one of his men,
during the; seige of Vicksburg. The cap
tain is one of those firey little fellows
who think it cowardly to keep oat of
danger when one can do it just as well as
not. While out with bis company in the
rear of Vicksburg, two or three shells came
whizzing over them, when his men in
stinctively fell upon their faces, and shel
tered themselves as well as they could be
hind tfaehilL When the men had arisen
the captain exclaimed: “Men! what
mode of warfare is this?” “That cap
tain,” replied a waggish corporal, “is.a
la mode l" The captain it is; fair to pre
sume, saw the joke:
“ Mister, have you seen a yaller dog
going along here, about a year, a year and
a half, or about two years old 1” “ Yes,”
replied the chopper, supposing the Yankee
was quizzing him, “yes, I saw a yaller
dorg going along here about a year, a year
and a half, or two years old, about an
hour, an i hour and a half, 'dr two hours
ago: and you’ll find him a mile, a mile
and a half’ or two miles ahead, with a tail
about an inch, an inch and a half, dr two
inches long,” “ Hold on! that’ll do stran
ger? I calculate you are into me a foot, a
foot and a half, or two feet.”
•9* The man who kept his word, gave
serious offence to Webster who wanted it
for his dictionary.
EDITORS AND
Dkkam o* a Qvailek Ladt. —There is
a beautiful story told of a piom old Qua
ker lady who was addicted to smoking
tobacco. She iudulged in this habit untU
it had increased so ranch upon her, that she
not only smoked her pipe a large portion
of the .day, but-frequently sat up in her
bed for this purpose at night. After one
of these nocturnal entertainments- she'fell
asleep, and dreamed that she died, and
approached heaven. Meeting an angel,
she asked him if her name was written in
the book of life. He disappeared, but re
plied, upon returning, that he could, not
find it. “Oh!” she said, “do look
again; it must be there.” He examined
again, but returned with a sorrowful face,
saying, “it is not there!” “Oh!” said
she, in agony, “it must be there I” I have
the assurance it is there! Do, look again."
The hngel was moved to tears by her en
treaties, and again left her to renew his
search. After a long absence he came
back, his face radient with joy, and ex
claimed, “We have found it, but it was
so clouded with tobacco smoke that we
could hardly see it I” The woman, upon
waking, immediately threw her pipe
away, and never indulged in smoking
again!
Dreaming im Ghcbcu.—At BaUaton
Spa, N. Y., ono Sunday afternoon, fa
tigued with his long journey, a wagoner,
with his son, John, drove his team into
a barn, and determined to pass the Sab
bath in enjoying a season of worship with
the good people of the village. When
the time for worship arrived, John was
sent to watch the team, white the wagoner
went in with the crowd. Ihe preacher
had hardly announced his subject before
the old man fell sound asleep. He sat
against the partition in the centre of the
body slip; just over against him, separated
by a very low' partition, sat a very deshy
lady who seemed all absorbed in the ser
mon. She struggled hard witfi her feel
ings, but unable to control them any
lunger, she burst out with a. loud scream,
and shouted at the top 6f her voice,
arousing the pld man, who,' but half
awake, threw his arms around her waist,
and cried out, very soothingly: “Whoa,
Nancy! Whoa, Nancy!' Here John,”
Calling his son, “ cut the belly-band and
loosen the breeching; quick, or she'll
tear everything to pieces!”
Mrs. Partington on Weddings.—lt
is a solemn thing—matrimony is—a very
solemn thing—where the minister comes
into the chancery with his surplus on, and
goes through the ceremony of making them
man and wife. It ought to be husband
and wife, for it isn't every husband that
turns out to be a man. I declare I 'never
shall forget when Paul put the nuptial
ring on my Anger and said, “ with my
goods I thee endow.” He used to keep
a dry good store then, and I thought he
was going to give me the whole there was
in it. 1 was yOung and simple, and didn't
know till afterwards that it only meant
one calico gown a year. It is a loying
sight to see young people “ pligbtifig the
trough,” as the song says, and coming up
to consume their vows.”
O* In the fight near Mount Vernon an
incident occurred worth mentioning. As
it began to wax hot, a negro come to our
side, saying, “ I know you all, jnst give
me a gun.” Some one handed him a
Sharp’s rifle laid aside by a wounded sol
dier. He bit his cartridge, poured down
his powder, and tried to force the hall
down the muzzle. Failing, be threw it
down and begged for something he could
shoot with. Next, be got a minqie mus
ket, with which, mounting on a log, he
shot a rebel—ran and took bis gun and
continued to load and fire as if till depended
on his work till the enemy fled. When
it was all over, the darkle rose up from
behind his stump and cried out, “ I knew
we. would whip em.” g '
<9* In one of Caroline Gilman’s ro
mances this passage was ms iked and
much thumbed s “There is no object so
beautiful to me as a conscientious young
man; I watch him as I do a star in
heaven.” “Ibis is my yiew exactly I”
sighed Miss Josephine Hoops ae.she Igid
down the volume j “in fact I think there
is nothing so beautiful as a young man,
even if ho isn’t conscientious.” ;.
**■ A chap down in Cpnaectieat, after
the passage of the conscript act, got mar
ried to evade the dfaft. He oow says if
he canget a divorce he wiJI enlist, as, -if
he must rather dots for, his
country. This mow has evidently made
a mistake matrimonially.
*»*Why is the letter b thf gayest in the
alphabet? Because it is always in fan.
Yes, but why is it the most unfortunate
in the alphabet ? Because it is always in
trouble and difficulty. Hi
•rMany men espouse a party as an
Indian espouses a wife—not to serve it,
but to make it serve them. HH'
-fy >'
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NO. 23.