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JACOB WETS,
ft jAND CONFECTIONER,
Tajaaru grant. Auonxa,
CONSTANTLY ON HAND
IAD. GAKES, CANDIES
5S AT f*f f h . U o,rn ®“a&ctare, which
r»U, wholesale or.ntall, atthe non
A FOEKIdN FRUITS, s«h „
fc- LEMONS, PINE-AJPPLES
jES- RAISINS, NUTS, AC.. AC
ifir respective #«i*ob».
KED TO ORDER.
10*. on abort notice and la the ne«-
the art;
price my stock and yon will find
ts can be purchased elsewhere.
FECTIONERY
YSTER SALOON
BSORIBER WOULD IN
titixeus of Altoona and Tkinitrtbat bit
IT. NUT and FRUIT STOKE, 1. alwsy.
■ eery best articlaa to be had, and in end!
aieo an
TER SALOON
tiJn ««re, ia *hkb be will serve op OTSTKJI?
\e during the season.
ukfD BREAD tf hand.
! M** prepared to supply cakes, candle*. Ac
•ildther parties. He IdtHsm »h*re of pal Ur
nkvirig that he can render foil satisftctioQ to
rhW*toreand saloon is onTii*talastreet.tw«
»atw« Hall. OTTO BOSfll.
;t. B), 1861-if x
I. FETTINGER’S
/fstl j\ews Agency,
ILL, No. 7, MAIN STREET
>Lj BOOKS, BCANK BOOKS,
NERY, CONFECTIONARIES
ARS & TOBACCO.
D KOiTONS IN CHEAT VARIETY
ON HAND.
LOYJD & CO.,
. AXTOOKA, PA
ON, JACK & CO..
BOIOJVATSBUSG, PA,
ISTKEBS, •
fcß, JoJauton, Jack C«.”)
S ON THE PRINCIPAL
I Silver ud Gold for shift. (MlKtfon,
«csfr«d on deporiti, pajabl. «b dMUBd,
dr upoa Ooie, with Isterwt at fcirf»te».
KESSJUER—PRACTICAL
IST, rnpectfoUr
Ahomu ind tin ppUio'iraWHßa
U paatlßßt* tin Drag hmtn—
t wboreho UmMMribF
W
KfcICALS, OIiS.TAKWBH- 489
9n
ion to bittfom, apd adnire toreadrm 1 '
rejard* prim and qaality, in impn M
a ahare of paWle pat*»«t«. ,
oterchaato mpplfod on twaooaWe tenni.
» a dlafonc* promptly atfoodrfbv
criptiontcarefell; compounded. [wS -
>Y FRIENDS WOULD DO
; iodpoo tin ctmh. **“****'“il?j
VMMtS QOODS •dndtel»l^.«P« 1 **
tof MOKPBTJ^oWK*..
kCor.of TtaSdaaad'CiioUßOa'*
ims.' - ■
ND LARD OILS, CAN-
D AT MoCORMICK’B Store
:es.—-a large and
AT, TOOTH, SHAVING.
1 “ d
m OF FEINTING
AND
'*»rfc»y, tX tAUaWW^*-
.awt-v: - :
LEB CAKPETING^P
**• S*wl k-'; : ' LACfIHNAS
IfiAL
» “* *****
SSS*'**?®
" _ mi ; ■ ■' - ■- M 11 '■■■■■■L
McCRUM & PERN.
VOL'. 8.
T HE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
. * jfeCKOSK ■ ■ • - ‘ aC - DERS
* tOIIOEb AXE EEOPEIETOES.
r innum, (payable inrarUbly in adrance,sl 60
Jl p.jKrt diiwoßtinawi at the expiration of; the time
Kr
TEEMS or ADVERTISING
1 insertion 2 do. 3 do.
■ liMt u r leu $ 25 $ 37K I $ 60
’ * (5 U"«») ** » i »«0
,„ r f <,aire, t IOU i So i 2 Oil
,f*" .. '24 '• J 150 200 - 240
* , iter three weeks audios. than three mouthy. 25 cents
rwo»t« for each ituertioß. ■
■ ! Smooths- 0 month*. 1 veer.
.$l4O $3 00 $5OO
.. 260 400 7 00
.. 400 . «00 10 00
.. 600 S 00: 12 00
aoo 10 oo j 14 oo
column -10 00 14 00 : 20 00
* rolSm- 14 00 25 00 1 40 00
Tiioutrators and Bxscutura Notice* 1 75
i.ivbant* adrertisiug by the year, three squares,
.ilh liberty to-cheoge ..........i..... 10 00
~ „I«J»D»1 or Basineea Cards, not exceeding 8 lima
. ith Mwr. per year ®
' Junications of a political character or Individual
. lit, will be charged according to the above|irate«.
$ irt-rtisemente not marked with the nnmbeV of fnaer
* (jtsired, will be continued till forbid and charged
vrdiog w> the above terms.
Vusiiics* notices five cent* per line for every insertion.
i'iitiuirv notice*i exceeding ten lines,-fifty cent* a square.
a. v tinrt lcBSl
'- r ., square ,■
BALTIMORE LOCK HOSPITAL
. -JIABLISUBD ASA HBFCOE FKOMQUACKKR Y
fhe Only Place Where a Cure Can
be Obtained.
DU. JOHNSON has discovered the
r«o»t Certain, Speedy and only Effectual Bemc-dy in
r "j fur all Private Uieeases. Weakness of the Back
V'm'j.- Stricture*, Affections of the KidoeysAud Blad
. r-tluatary Discharge*. Impotency, General Debility,
. , .uiuess, Dy*pep»y, Languur, Low Spirits, Confusion
a PrihMtatioii of the Heart. Timidity, Tumblings,
]• of Sight or Giddiness. Disease of Hie Head,
' ",t. Nose or skin. Affections of the hirer. Luligs. Stom
r B ,wels —thyise Terrible disorders arising from the
Habits of Ifouth—those sicatr and solitary prac
,j f H u| to tbaii rictims than the song o< Syrens to
ypiriners of Ulysses, blighting their most brilliant
„ or anticipations, rendering marriage Ac:, impoest-
YOUNG MEN ;
whcthave become the victims of Solitary > ice,
1 ’.ireodful and deitactive habit which annual, y sweep*
anticnelrgiare thousands of Young Men of the most
,i-,i talents and brilliant intellect, who might other
. .. lure entranced listening Senates with the thunders
. lo ence, or waked to ecus* the bring lyre, may call
fait coufidence
MARRIAGE.
turned Persona, Or Young lieu cotemplating. marriage,
f ' iWA r<» of physical weakness, organic debility, defur-
A{ \ iw., speedily cared. _ -
:I Viio places himselt under the care of Dr. J. may re
udv confide ifthw honor as a gentleman, *nd coufi- j
' uiu*» hi** skill as a physician.
ORGANIC WEAKNESS
Cur*d, and full Vip-r Uestcred.
• “i/piat resting Affection—which renders Life miserable
-nt-riag** lmpo*>iMe—is the penalty paid by the
1., .fimproper ir.-lulgeiioe-. Young pereCJia are m |
, ..muiit exces e* from «-»l being await* "fjh** dread- j
that may ensue. Xow. *11" th«J under- |
, . ibe subject will pretend to d**ny that the power of i
-,. ; ,*j..n is lost s-ioner by tho*e falling into: improper j
, . than bv the »iniM**utf Ibtsides being deprived the j
-ur--of healtliv-uffipring. the most serious and de* |
, r . lli; ' r „ gvmptomV to both-bo*ly and mind arisv Tin* j
■ becomes Deranged, the Physical and M-ntai Fane- |
o* Weakened. Los- of Procreativ** Power. Niirvou,* Irri
.tv Dvspt-psia, Palpitation of ihe Heart, Indigestion
i-titational Debility, a Wasting of the From**. Cough.
ouaibtiun. Decay and Death.
OfficE, NO. 1 SOUTH FREDERICK STREET.
> hoi Uido going from Baltimore street, a few doors
, tin- orner. Kail not to'obsexve name ami. number
must be paid aud contain a stamp/ The Doc
. • bang in his office \
A CURE WARRANTED IN TWO DAYS.
Vo Ve r cnrv or JVuwonj Dmgi,
OR.* JOHNSON,
of ii.° Koya! College of Surgeon*, London, Grad*
fjoai one of the most eminent Colleges in the Cuited
. ,t-,. and the greater part of whose life has been spent in
, hospitals of Lwodoti. Paris, Philadelphia and else
-:.-rr*. has effected some., of the most astonishing cures
*rer known; many troubled with ringing tatht*
1 mu! e*rs when asleep, great nervousness, being
,rmed at sodden sou ids, bashful ness, with freqrfent
■ ,u>hing. attended sometimes with derangement of mind,
v-.? cared immediate!?.
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTICE
i. J. addresses all those who have injured themselves
. indulgence and solitary habits..which ruin
j body and mind, unfitting them for either business,
v-. ir. society or marriage.
i iiESE are some of.the sad and melancholy effects ;pro
... - A by eafly habits of youth, viz; Weakness of the
'i.-u and Limbs, Pains in the Head, Dimness of Sight,
... u f Muscular Power, Palpitation of the (Heart, Dya*
v*.v. Nervous! Irritability, Derangement of.the Diges
t-functions, General Debility, Symptoms of Contrump
-a. 4c.
'lt.vTiLLi^—The fearful effects of the mind are much to
■ Jreaded—L»« of Memory, Confoalon of Ideas, De
■>r<-*sioii of spirits, Evil-Forebodings, Aversion to Society,
Distrust, Love of Solitude, Timidity, Ac., are some of
pnxluced.
TesrsANDS of persons of all ages can now judge what is
of their declining health, losing th*lr vigor, be
gins weak, pale, nervoos andem-'ciated. having a sln
%uUr appearance about the eyes, cough and lymptoros of
- M-nmption.
YOUNG MEN
*: have injured themselves by a certalxi practice In*
in when; alone, a habit frequently Warned from
-••II tampanious.T>r at school* the-effects. of which art
i .'inly felt, even when asleep, and If not cared render*
imposlble, and destroys both mind and body,
*h QtJ apply immediately. Ji.
What a pity that a young man* the hope ofpu country.
n< darling of his parents, should be snatched from all
J' and enjoyments of.life, by the copaeqnence of
>TUting from the* path of nature, and indnlging m a
■ - r t un secret habit. Such persons WUHT, before contem
-Idjiag
MARRIAGE.
• -'Wet that a sound mind and b-'rir are th-? uua! necessary
r-Njalsltet to promote connuhi tl happiness. Indeed, with*
oat those, the journey through life becomes A weary pll*
<riraagf, the prospect hourly darkens to ths tiew; the
•niud becomes shadowed with despair and filled with the
'idaochuly reflecting that the happiness of another be
• nines blighted with oar own.
DISEASE OF IMPRUDENCE.
When the misguided and imprudent votary of pleasure
that*he has Imbibed the seeds of this, painfnl die*
it too often happens that an ill-timed sense of shame,
r jreiid of discovery, deters him from applying to tho«e
'flu, from education and respectability, can alone be
"im.lMra.deUylus till the con*titutaon*liByinpto»na of
itiif horrid disease make their appearance, such as ulccra
-! s ire throat, diseased nose, nocturnal pains io the head
an 1 limb*, dimness of sight, deafness, nodes on the shin
' r.*t and arms, blotches on the head, fnco -and extretnl
• programing with frightful rapidity, tiii at last the
Tu‘»te of Uvs month or the bones of the nose: fall in, and
victim of this avfnUdisease becomes a horrid object of
■ ■iQ'Biseration, till death puts a period to; his dreadful
>'fcnDg«, by sending him t<» '* that Ondlscotered Country
ro<i» whence no traveller return*.” ' ;
Ir ii * melancholy fact that thousands fad Tt#m* to
’’ii« terrible disease, owing to the ttiukillfuiue** ofigno
’•ut pretenders who, by the use of that Deadly ibuon,
V'rrary, raja tbs constitution and make the residue of
,
STRANGERS
not yonr lives, or health to the care r of the many
and Worthies* Pretender*, destitute of know!-
name or character, wh> copy Dr. JohhSton’s adver
“*emeat«. or style themselves, in the newspapere, regu
>4rly Bdneated Physicians. Incapable of Cnrtog, they keep
?oa trifling month after month* taking their filthy and
V-neonoas compounds, or as long as t!ie smallest fee can
fee obtained, and in despair, leave yon with ruined health
t° over yonr galling disappointment.'
Dr. J din Hon U the only Physician advertising.
Hit credential or diplomas always hang inhis.office.
His remedies or treatment are nn|tnowfr to all others,
prepared from a life sp-ut In the great hospitals of Knrope.
tb« first in the country and a moreextemdrslViwtfr Prac*
flc< ibwj any other Physician in the world*
TL INDORSEMENT OF THE PRESS.
Xne m*uy thousands cured at this institution, year after
■ Tnr - and the numerous important Surreal operations
by Johnston, witnessed by the reporters of the
‘fun’ and many otVr pa pet*. notices of
bar* appeared again and again bgfet* the public,
sw'-ae* his standing as a gentlemen of character .and re
■poiuibiltty, i« a sufficient guarantee totheaiffilcted.
SKIN DISEASES SPEEDILY C^BCD.
>o utters received unless post-paid anpi containing a
•»iopp> be used bn the reply Persons writing should stats
K«aad send portion «f advertisement describing symptoms
_ rsrioas writing shohld bsaiarticuiar in directing tfasir
lo *hi* Institution. litJths following manner:
A , JOHN M/ JOHNSTON* M. 0..
Dfths Baltimore Look Hospital, Maryland '
ibtiict fcetrg.
HOME IH THE SKIES.
Whto op to nightly skies we gaze.
Where start portße their endless ways,
We think we see from earth's low clod
The wide and shining home of God.
But could we rise to moon or son.
Or path where planets dttly ran.
Still heaven would spread above ue Car.
And earth remote would Mem a star.
# 'Tie vain to dream those tracts of space.
With all their Worlds, approach his fee©;
One glory fills each rolling ball—
One love has shaped' and moved them all.
This earth, with all its dost and tears.
Is his no leas than yopder spheres:
And Tpio-drops weak, and grains of sand,
Are stamped by bis immediate hand.
The rock, the wave, the little flower.
All fed by streams of living power,
XhAt spring from one Almighty Will.
What’er bis thoughts conceive, fulfil.
And is this all that man can claim ?
Is this our longing's Anal aim?
To be Uke all things round —no more
Than pebbles cost on Time’s grey shore
Can man, no more than beast, aspire
To know his being's awful Sire?
And, horn and lost on Nature’s breast.
No blessing seek but there to rest?
Not thisjoar doom, thou Uod benign!
Whose rays on us unclouded shine,
Thy breath soaUins yon fiery dome.
Rutman is most thy IkTOred home.
We Tlew those halls of painted air,
And own thy presence makes them (air.
But dtarer still totdee, 0 Lord!
Is he whose thoughts to thins accord.
3tint fpsflrtlaaj.
A THOUGHTLESS BOY PUHIBHED.
“ I shall never forget,” Writes a corres
pondent of the Agriculturist, “ an incident
of my childhood by which I was taught
to be careful not to wound the feelings of
the unfortunate. A number of us school
hoys were playing by the road side one
Saturday afternoon, when the' stage coach
drove up to a neighboring tavern and the
passengers alighted. As usual we gathered
around to observe them. Ajflong the
number was an elderly man whjVa cane,
who got out with much diflSlty, and
when on the ground he walked with
the must curious contortions. His feet
turned one way, his knees another, and
his whole body looked as though the dif
ferent members were independent of it
ambeach other, and every one was making
motions to suit itself. I unthinkingly
shouted ‘ ll look - t at old rattle-bones!”
and the other boys took up the cry with
mocking laughter, while the poor man
turned his head with an, expression of
pain which I cat) never forget. J ust then,
to my surprise and honor, my father came
around the corner, and immediately step
ping up to the Stranger, shook his hands
and warmly assisted him to walk to
our house, which was but a little distance.
I could enjoy no more play that afternoon,
and when tea time came, I would gladly
have bid myself, but I knew that would
be vain, and so tremblingly went into the
sitting room. To my great relief, the
stranger did not recognize me, but re
marked pleasantly to my father as he
introduced me, “such a fine boy was
surely ; worth saving.” How the words
cut me to the heart. My father had often j
told me the story of a friend who had
{dunged into the river to save me as I was
drowning, while an infant, and who in
consequence of ,;a cold then taken, had
been crippled by the inflammatory rheu
matism-; and this-was the man whom I
had made a butt of ridicule, and a langing
stock for my companions. I tell you boys,
and girls, j would give many dollars to
have the meiudVy of that event taken
away. If ever-you are tempted as I was,
remember that while-no good can come of
sport whereby the feelings of others are
wounded, you may be laying up for your
selves' painful recollections that will not
leave you for a life time.”
Quotation s. —Many quotations in fa
miliar use are credited to wrong sources.
We’haye heard clergymen dte a passage
from Sbakspeare, supposing it was Holy
Writ, and we have heard laymen quote
Scripture Snd credit it to the Bard of
Avon. A recent writer says a greater
familiarity with the Bible would in many
instances, save the necessity of looking to
other sources for the authorship of many
of the phrased in common use, thus:
“Peace, peace, when there 1 is no peace,’
is sometimes supposed to be original with
Patrick Henry, but it will be found in
Jeremiah, 8 : 11. ‘Escaped by the skin
of his teeth,’, is in Job 19: 20. ' * Spread
ing himself like a green bay tree,’ Psalms,
37: 85. ‘Hanged opr harps on the wil
lows, f Psalms, 137; 2. ‘ Riches make
(not take) themselves wings,’ Proverbs,
22 : 5, ‘No new living under the sun,’
Ecclesiastes, 1: 9. ‘A still small voice.’
I Kiqgs, 19: 12. ‘Heath in tne pot,’ II
Bang?, 4; 40. ‘A man after his own
heart,’ I Sarin**, 19: 14. ‘A little bird
told pe,’ Ecdemastes, 10: 2 9.
ALTOONA, PA., TUESDAY, APRIL 28, 1863.
an ingenious defence.
If rogues exercised one half the in
genuity and industry to be successful in
an honest calling, which they put forth
in knavery, they would be sure to stand
high in any profession or trade. The fol
lowing narrative shows what shrewd de
vices they adopt, and what perils they
bodily.incur, to secure their objects:
Many years ago, a gentleman, followed
by a servant in livery, rode into an inn
in the west of England one evening, a
little before dusk. He told the landlord
that he should be detained by business in
that part of the country for a few days,
and wished to know if there was any
amusement going on in the town to fill
up tlie intervals ,of time. The landlord
replied that it was their assize week, and
he would therefore he at no loss to pass
away his leisure hours. On the gentle
man’s making answer that this was fortu
nate, for he was fond of hearing trials,
the other said that a very interesting case
of robbery would come on the next day,
on which people’s opinions were very
much divided, the evidence being very
1 strong against the prisoner, but the man
! himself persisted resolutely in declaring
| that he was in a distant part of the k* n g"
| dom at the time the robbery was com
; mit ted.
The guest manifested considerable
anxiety to hear the trial, but as the court
would probably be crowded, expressed
some doubt of getting a place. The land
lord told him that there could be no diffi
culty in a gentleman of his appearance get ■
ting a seat, but that, to prevent any
accident, he would himself go with him
and speak to one of the beadles. Ac
cordingly they went into court next morn
ing, and through the landlord’s interest
with the officers of. the court, the gentleman
was shown to a seat on the bench. Pres
ently the trial began.
While the evidence was proceeding
against him, the prisoner had remained
whir "his eyes fixed on the floor, seemingly
very much depressed ; till, on being called
on for his defence, he looked up, and
seeing the stranger, he suddenly tainted.
This excited some surprise, and it seemed,
at first, like a trick to gain time. As
soon as he came to himself, being asked
by the judge the cause of this behavior,
he said:
O, my lord, I see a person who can
save my life ; that gentleman,” pointing
to the stranger, “ can prove I am inno
cent ; might 1 only have leave to put a
few- questions to him.”
Ihe eyes of the whole court were now
turned upon the gentleman, who said he
felt in a very awkward situation to be
called upon, as he did not remember ever
to have seen the ban before, but that he
would answer any question that was
asked him.
“ Well,” said he, “ but don’t you recol
lect that a person in a blue jacket and
trowsers carried your trunk to the inn ?”
To this he answered that of course some
person had carried his trunk for b.im, but
that he did not know what dress he wore.
“ But,” said the prisoner, “ don’t you
remember that the person who went with
you from the boat told you a story ol his
being in the service, that he showed you
a scar on one side of the forehead !”
During tliis last question the face of
the stranger underwent a considerable
change. He said he certainly did recollect
such a circumstance: and on the man
pushing his hair aside and showing the
scar, he became quite sure that he saw the
same person. A buzz of satisfaction ran
through the court; for the day on which,
according to the prisoner's account, the
gentleman had met him at Dover, was
the same on which he was charged
with the robbery in a distant part of the
countiy. The stranger, however, could
not be certain of the time, but said
sometimes made a memorandum of dates
in his pocket-book, and might possibly
have done so on this occasion. On
turning to his pocket-book, he found a
memorandum of the time he landed, which
corresponded with the prisoner’s asser
tion. This being the only circumstance
necessary to prove the alibi, the prisoner
was immediately acquitted, amidst the ap
plause and congratulations of the whole
court
Within less than a month after this
the gentleman who came to the inn at
tended by the servant ’in livery, the
servant who followed him, and the pris
oner who had been acquitted, were all
three brought back together to the same
jail for robbing a mail!
It turned out that this clever defence at
the trial was a scheme skillfully arranged
by the thief’s confederates to obtain the
release of their accomplice.
ylt takes a smooth tongue to read
the following:
Theophilua Thistle, the thistle sifter,
sifted a sieve full of sifted thistles; and
a sieve full of unsifted thistles; if Theo
philus Thistle, the thistle sifter, sifted a
sieve full of sifted thistles and a sieve full
of unsifted thistles, where is the sieve full
of rifted thistles and a sieve full of unsifted
thistles, that '1 heophilus Thistle, the thistle
rifter rifled?
{independent IN E’
“Is your family opposed to matrimony T”
“ Wal. no, I rather guess not, seein’ as
my mother had four husbands, and stands
a pretty smart chance for havin’ another.”
“ Four husbands!” is it possible t”
“ Oh. yes. You see my mothers name
was Mehi table Sheets, and dad’s name
was Jacob Press; and when they got mar
ried the printers said it was putting the
sheets to press. When 1 was born they
said it was the first edition. An’ you see,
mother used to be the tamalest critter to
go to evenin’ meetings. She used to he
out pretty late every night, and dad was
afraid I’d get in the babit, so he used to
put me to bed at early candle-light, and
cover me with a pillar, and put me to
sleep with a boot-jack. Wal, dad got up
every night ah, let mother in, an’ if he
i didn’t get down and open the door pretty
darned quick, whan she’d come, he’d ketch
particular thunder ; so dad used to sleep
with his head out of the window, so as to
wake up quick; an’ one night he got his
head a little too far out, and dad come
down caflummax right down on the pave
ment, and smashed him in ten thousand
pieces.”
“ What! was ha killed by the fall V’
“ Wal, no; not exactly by the fall.—
Rather kinder sorter guess it was the sud
den fetch up on the pavement that killed
him- But mam she come hum an’ found
him lyin thar and had him swept Op to
gether an’' put in a coffin, an’ had a hole
dug in the buryin’ ground and had dad put
in an’ buried up, an’ bad a white oak
plank put up to his head, and bad it
white-washed all over for a tombstone.
“So your mother was left a poor
widow ?”
“ Wal, yes, but she didn’t mind that
much for ’twasn’t long before she. married
Sam-Hide, because he was just dad's size,
and she w r anted him to wear out dad’s old
clothes. Wal, the way old Hide hided
me was a caution to my hide. Hide had
a little the roughest hide of any hide ex
cept a bull’s hide, and the way Hide used
to hide away liquor in his hide was a
caution to a bull’s hide. Wal, one cold
day old Hide got his hide so full of
whiskey that he pitched head first into a
snow bank, and there he stuck and friz to
death. So mam had him pulled out and
then she had another hole dug in the
buryin’ ground, and had biro buried, and
then she had another white oak plank put
up at his head and white-washed all over,
and—”
“ So your mother was again a widow?”
“O, yes, but I guess she didn’t lay
awake long to think about it, for in about
three weeks she married Sam Strong—an’
he was the strongest-headed cuss you ever
did see. He went a fishin’ the other day
an’ got drowned.; he was so tarnal strong
headed, I’ll be darned to darnation if be
didn’t float right agin the current, an’
they found him: about three miles up the
stream, and it took three yoke of oxen to
haul him out. Wal, mam had him buried
alongside o’ ’tother two, and he had a
white oak plank put up at his head, an’
white-washed all over nice; so there is
three on ’em in a row.”
“ Yes, but mam didn’t seem to mind it
a tarnation sight. ' The next fellow she
married was Jacob Hays, arid the way
mam does make him haze is a caution,
now I tell ye. If he does anything a
leetle out of the way, mam makes him
take a bucket and go right up to the
buryin’ ground and white-wash the three
oak planks, jist to let him know what be
may come to when he’s planted in the
same row, and she'd get married to the
fifth husband. So you see my family arn’i
a tarnal sight opposed to a dose of pat
rimony.”
A Cut. fob Bread or Peace.—The
New Orleans Era says that posters,
headed “ Bread w Peace,” of which the
following is a copy were posted up in’the
most public places of Mobile on the 6th
instant. It is one of the unmistakable
signs now becoming quite common, that
the distress of the people in the rebellious
States has reached a point that is almost
unbearable: “It has not yet come to be
a question of bread or pdkee with us, but
we are fast coming to it. If our govern
ment can compel a man with a family of
children to fight for eleven dollars per
month, it can * compel, and must, those
'who stay at home and enjoy their ease
now, and will ’enjoy our freedom when 1
achieved, to feed the poor children of poor
fathers —the widows, whose only sons jare
fighting the battlesand enduring the hard
ships of the march and camp, foodless,
clotheless and shoeless. Forbearance will
soon cease to be a virtue. Our wives,
asters and little ones are crying for brehd!
Beware I! lest they cry for blood alio II I
We have had enough of extortion and
speculation; it is time the strong am of
the law was extended. The people will,
rise, sooner or later! There are lamp
poets and rope enough to cure this worse
than treason —and the remedy will;be
supplied by an outraged people.
“BRUTUS IL*
(TAi evil habit is a cruel master- : '
OPPOSED TO MATRIMONY.
A Dutch Skkuon.—The following ad
mirable production delivered before a
company of votastesr soldiers diving the
revolutionary Bttoggfet upon the eve of
their going to “glorious war,” was calcu
lated to inspire them with more than,
herculean courage: “ Mine frients, ven
viral you corned here, you vas poor and:
humble, and now, mine frients, you is;
proud and sassy ; and you has gotten on;
your unicorns, and dey vit yon Uke dungs;
upon a hog’s pack. Now mine frients,
let mo tell yon dis —a man ish a man if:
he is no pigger as my dam. Ven Tavid
vent out to vUe mit Goliah, he took
netting nut him but one sling. Now don’t
mistake me, mine frients, it vas not a
rum sling, nor a gin sling; nor a mint
vater sling; no, it vas a shlihg made vit
von hickory 'shtick. Now ven dis Goliah
seed Tavid coming, said he. ‘You von
little scoundrel, does you come to vite me!
I vill glfe you to de birds of; de fielt and
de peasts of de air.’ Tavid says, ‘Goliah,
Goliah, de race ish not always mit de
shwift, nor ish de battle mit de strong;
and a man is a man if he ish no pigger as
my dum.’ So '1 avid be fixed a stone in
his shling. and draws it at Goliah, and
knocks him rite in de foreheat, and Tavid
takes Goliah’s sword and cut off his head
and den all de purly cals of de sfaiddy
comes out and stbrewed flowers in his
way, and sung, ‘ Saul is a. great man, for
he has kilt his tonsands; hut Tavid is
greater as he for be has kilt Goliah.’ ”
Ode Teeth. —They decay. Heboe, un-.
seemingly mouths, bad breaths, imperfect
mastication. Everybody regrets it. What
is the cause ? I reply, want of cleanli
ness. A clean tooth never decays. The
mouth is a warn place—-ninety-eight de
grees, particles of meat between the teeth
soon decompose. Gums and teeth must
suffer.
Perfect cleanliness will preserve the
teeth to an old age. How shall it be
secured ? Use a quill pick, and rinse the
mouth after eating. Brush with Castile
soap every morning, then brush with
clean water, on going to bed. Bestow
this trifling care upon your precious teeth ;
you will keep them, and ruin the dentists.
Neglect it and you will be sorry all your
lives. Children forget. Watch them. —
The first teeth determine the . character of
the second set. Give them equal care.
Sugar, acids, salaratus, and hot things
are nothing when compared with food
decomposing bet ween the teeth. Mercu
rialization may loosen the teeth, long use
may wear them out, but keep them clean
and they will never decay. This advice
is worth more than thousands of dollars
to every boy and gift Books have been
written on the subject. Thu brief article
contains all that is essential. —Dio Loots,
M. D
Power of Music-—On Saturday a
man in the last stages of intoxication was
brought before Judge Aikin,' examined
and fined for beihg drunk add: disorderly.
,f ihe poor fellow bad only to old German
flute, and when asked if be would leave it
as a pledge for the fine, he replied that it
was an old but an excellent instrument
and under no circumstances would he
part with it.
Forgetful of the. dignity of thej Court
. he raised it to bis lips and blew a few
sweet notes, at once attractingrand fixing
the attention of the Court and spectators.
He perceived his advantage and played a
plaintive air, which imbued mind of
the Court with pity. He changed it to a
patriotic measure, and the; Star Spaqgled
Banner and Yankee Doodle excited the
Court to a fraternal love of country. Now
or never was his time. tolled out m
sweet and rapid cadences. Every one
was taken by stem. 'lhe police danced
to its measure; the spectators wagged
their heads; and the Judge like Alex
ander, smiled with delight. The fine was
stricken from the docket, and the poor
fellow left with the flute under his arnr
a wiser and a better man.— —CMuago J ownaL
Logical.—“ Julius, is : you better dis
morning?”
“ No, I was better yesterday, but 1 got
over it”
*< Am der no hopes den ;6f your dis
covery t”
*• Discovery of what *”
“ Your discovery from de convalescence
what fetched you on your back.”
“Dkt depends, Mr. Snow, altogether
on the prognostications which amplify ' the
disease : should they terminate totally, de
doctor thinks lis a gone nigger; should
they not terminate fatally, he hope de
colored individual wont die till another
time. As I said before it all depends on
de prognostics, and till dese come to a
head, it is hard telling widder the nigger
will discontinue his come or not.”
is not known how useful ‘he new
art hai been in the production of cheap
and perfectly accurate fac tmilet of doc
uments, anti how easily these are reduced
to even microscopic dimensions, so that
the giant sheet of the London Timet has
I been photographed on a piece of paper but
i one-eighth of an uteh agnate—and even
j then each letter waa perfectly legible under
' .he microscrope.
EDPPWBA3f»PWHaETORS
Feu at Home.—Don’t be afraid of a
little fen at goodpeople. Don’t
shat ap yoor bondwfest the son shookl
fade yoar carpets; apdyour bents, lest
a hearty shake down tome of
the old cobwebs there* If you want to
nun your sons, let them think that all
utrth and social enjoyments stoat he left
on the thnshold when thqe oat hfaw at
When oims a horne ts regarded aa
only a place to eat| drink, and s)g» in, the
work is began that aids ingambling boo
see and reckless degradation. Young peo
ple most have Iris and relaxation some
where; if they do pot find it at their own
hearthstones it trill be songbt at other
and perhaps less profitable places. There
fore let the fire bam brightly at night,
and make the home-nest delightful with
all those little aria that parents so perfectly
understand. Don’t repress the buoyant
spirits of yoar children; half an boar of
merriment round the lamp and firelight of
home blots out the remembrance of many
a care and annoyance daring the day, and
the beat safeguard they can take witb
them into the world is tbe unseen influ
ence of a bright little domestic circle. —
Lift Itluitruted.
Ths Bashjfci. Man.—Doesticks thus
describe* a bmihfttl young man: “First
calls-— hell ring%--qnt«r bashful young man
—evidently his first attempt at » fashion
able visit—came in with bis hat in his hand
—put it behind him to make a bow—
dropped it—tried to pick it up—stepped
in it —put bis foot through it—and in his
frantic stragglings to recover himself,
burst his coat, fractured his pantaloons,
untied his cravat, .demolished his shirt
collar and was finally borne to the hall by
his sympathizing friends, minus hat, patent
mustache, one-half of which was after
wards, found in Laura Matilda’s scrap
book and the rest discovered in a coal
scuttle.”
A Great Attainment. —How difficult
it is to be of a meek and forgiving spirit
when despitefully used! To love an
enemy and forgive an evU speaker is a
higher attainment than is commonly be
lieved. It is easy to talk of Christian
forbearance among neighbors, but. to
practice it ourselves proves us to be Chris
tians indeed.
The suimises of a few credulous per
sons need not trouble that man wluTknows
his cause is scon to be tried in Court, and
he to be openly acquitted. So the evil
language of the times need not disturb me,
since “my judgment shall be brought forth
as the noonday.”..
0* The man that laugh* is a doctor
without a diploma; his face docs more
good in a sick room than a bushel of
powders or a gallon of bitter draughts.
People are always glad to see him—their
hands instinctively go half way out to
meet his grasp, white they tuna involun
tarily from the clammy touch o( the dys
peptic who speaks Si the groaning key.
He laughs you out. of your faults, while
you never dream of being offended with
him, and yon know not what a
pleasant world you are living in, until he
points out the sunny streaks on its path
way.
Lm Bon. —A lazy boy' makes a lazy
man, just aa sure as a crooked sapling
makes a crooked tree. Who ever saw a
boy grow up in idleness that did not make
a shiftless vagabond ‘when he became a
man, unless he had a fortune left him to
keep up appearance? The great mass of
thieves, paupers, and criming have come
to what they are by being brought up in
idleness, 'those who constitute the busi
ness part of the community—thdee who
make our great and useful men were taught
in their boyhood to be industrious.
OP. An exchange paper published the
following somewhat improbable stpry :
“ During the revolutionary war the
English knocked, in the heads of several
thousands hands of tar, which they bad
captured in store near Suffolk, Virginia,
and let it pun off into a pond, four acres
in extent Gradually hardening in the
sun it became a solid .mass, and remains
till this day. It looks like slate and is
from two inches to a foot in thickness.
Our boys in camp near by use it for fuel.
A Good Man’s Wish. —l freely confer
to you than I woold,wish, when I am-laid
down in my grave some one in bis man
hood to stand over me and say, “ There lies
one. who was a real friend to jne, and
privately warned me of the dangers of the
young ;*no on»knew it but he aided me
in the time of need; I owe what lam to'
him;” or else to. have some widow with
choking utterance telling her children,
« There i is your, friend and mine.”
o*Good and evil exist together in the
soul. If the latter gain the preponderr
mice, from defective education, or the ab
seneC of good example, man sinks beneath
degßoeratesi edacation, on the
other hand, elevates him above himself.
NO. 13.