PACER’S ,
E CAPITOI,
: Bindery,
BOOK MANCPACTOUY.
ESt. IlarritbuTg, p„. ,
m b dhiefly <!<■ voted to
Rl«utk Book* Tor -,
Bread Cumptoies, JR-gjStoti
ones
»**• .tiM* MBjl>#a d bound to
. Sf)tita% Attan*y»and j u<titfl
made amt ruled to order. Treennia’
tut*. Duplicatea, Ac., ter countv
, rnlwi and bound to order. Conm»
i liest linen paper. . •
her*. *“slrinß : lo have their Book* w„ i
ate prices, should (tiro ua « call, «; t ,,
it lire*, llariwr’a Weekly, Clea«m’,
Scientific American, hondon New,
in any alyle required. Uarpera Mouth
erhocker, itiaickwuod's and OnffiamV
bady'a Book, Lady'a Ite|aiait6ry. Peter
ao Miitic. tc„ hound in extra ityiei or
inhatnntial half biudluy. Select |w
nev, I’amohlet laws, Imuml in g.aai m
moderate prices. Pcraona: having",
to bind, will receive a tlia-ralillmouii"
le lent to na from a dtatance br W
k ehtruated .to our care win bo anted
v packed and returned liy Kxiireai—
1. Addrea* P. h. U UTTtIK.
Marritbtiry,
DKUK.at the 4W6ioie Office, arc niv
amt vicinity. They will jive infornui
iodine, and receive and return books
rgea, for all who ent.uit their work to
[llarcli,‘il.iBo2-lr
CQ.£J~~
*g *
Ci'C rS «
L o£ gr -
!■*> i
l.w". «„f *
| «£at
B ® o * --2“
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OO 85 e
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W Ph *^Sk
I, [ktSfava
b- 3* is si
f S s |s,ll
P B|S-£
: CO* -3”
■EO+-* if
GOB WETS,
ND CONFECTIONER,
.m Stuxt. Altooxs, Pju.
INSTANTLY ON HAND
J. CAKES, CANDIES
XS. of hi* own manufacture, which h*
or .retail, at th* most reawin-
EOUKIUN EIICITS, *uch **
LEMONS, PINE-APPLES,
15, RAISINS. NUTS, &C„ &C„
s j'fj'r respective neas-ons.
iAKED TO ORDER.
•i"ns..on short notice and in the u*«t~
-.‘thwart.
xA price my stock ami yon will-find
:p as <tan !*? purchased elsewhere.
FECTIONERY
YSTER SALOON,
BSGlll BFll WOULD IN
uuens of Altoona and vicinity that bis
.V.NUT and FRUIT STORE, Icalway*
v,ry best articles twb« hnd, and in Jfn*«!
an
TER SALOON
or*-, in which he will serve up OYSTER*
the tf-AFon.
W BREAD dr FJESaluHXfton hand.
:t prepared to supply cakes, candica. Ac..
her parties, lie invites a share of public
nir that be can render fait satisfaction to
sl >n and saloon Is on Virginia.ttwtiijfM
mMlall. OtTOUOSIT
). IS6I-tf
FETTINGER’S
i\ News Agency.
L. No. 7, MAIN STREET
BOOKS, BLANK BOOKS,
iIY. CONFECTION ARIES
iS & TOBACCO,
OTIONS IN GREAT VARIETY
XSTASTLY OX UAJiD.
I,OYJD & CO.,
ALTOONA, PA*
TON, JACK £CO..
nOLLJDA rSBCBSj PA-
NKEBS,
trll. Johniion, Jack 1$ Co.”)
S ON THE PIIINCIPAJ.
ailrer and Gold for aal«»- Collectioni
pr lived on depoaiW, payable o«iWWJJ
>v upon time, wllh icW*t «t sur rate**
v KSSLEK-—PR ACTIG Ah
IcX,' respectfully
Altoona and tlte public
1 continue the
wlitre he • keep# coiudaiiw 'Ha
\ htiieaale arid Retail, DBOUov
KM 1 CALS, OILS, TARNISH
FFS
•u to business, and a desire w
r,*g«s , di piii» and quality, be
a i)iiareof public patronage,
r.orclianta «mppii«d on reasoiiatfr tr
i * distance’ promptly attended to.
M ip'ttnni carefully contpoduded, [ ~
V FRIENDS WOULD DO
Mr upon the choke and
HUB'S GOODS now dUpt»Tod “P 011
if Minipnv *...
Cor. of Virginia and Orolin*
■4862. ‘ - ■
<0 LAED OILS. oA>l
oiif Flnid. Carbon Oil, * c j^ aliEß .(.
l> AT McCOEMlOrSjßtore
ti rfiMort&teat of
IKS.—LAEGK AN I'
toijtDient ofGn^-riM
i AT, TOOTH, SHAVIAN
Varwlib Bruahe*
riVs OF PRINTING
•&.K
♦ UjMK!. ' * r -i ,-
Tlks OAIIPFTING^A^
.A. found LAW®^
li AL ASSORTM#**?jjjj.
f. Jlair and Ctollw* 4
r.. ixt
\SSORT MK NT
* be fovtul at
FNT HBAVY gQggiii
I rcceirod »t ** ■ -
W*«' i HA^O^, r '
I •* i~*SP I# I • • ; * ■ . tC
>ILBBOF PANT^J?,. ’
IIcCKUM & BERN,
VOL. 8
the altoona tribune.
, P, McCKUSI.i U.c. DJSUN,
roiumu AkD PEOPXIITOX3.
j . , all cm, invariably in advance,; $1,60.
ill P»P*r, 'l' scaat ' Daed aC ttie expiration of the time
,»I'l for
1 insertion • do. ' 4 do.
•rimes or *26 $ 37U $6O
*\ (. 8 liu«i»> 76 . 1 00
fV I*' 1 * ' (16 “ ) MOO 150 200
1 , U “ ) 150 200 260
I# K-rthree week, and lew thuu three Months, 26 cent*
r intisrc lor each insertion.
■’ 4 3 month*. 6 month*. 1 year.
mi line! or t\f n *3 00 *6 00
'V “ u ,r. 2 50 4 » 7 00
4 00 6 00 10 00
„ ■■■' 600 800 12 00
i“ ” .. 6 00 10 00 14 00
K a column 10 00 UOO 20 00
,r column U 00 25 00 *0 00
“ njoUtmtor* wnl Executor* Notice* 1 15
l"rcli»nt»»<l«rti*l»* b T t,le year. three »qm«res,
.itli liberty to Change, 10 00
1 or Business Curd*, not exceeding 8 _
me«>rltii nxper. per rear 5 00
■■jiunniniceliou* of * political mracter or individual In
,"«• will be charged according to the above rate*.
\ j'vertiseroen e not marked with the number of ln**r
iMired. will he continued till forbid and charged ac
riinC'itheabnve'tcrm*. . . ..
ansine*aju>tlce» five cent, per line for every insertion.
ibiinarvhoHce. exceeding ten line 1 , flfhy cents n »qua e
axirmonz lock hospital
. .-,riUl,l3llliD AS A lIKKUUK FBOM QUACKERY
fis Only Place Where a Cure Can
be Obtained,
Dll. JOHNSON has discovered the
most Certain, Speedy and only Effectual Remedy in
•arid for all Private Diseases. Weakness of the Back
Stricture*. Affections uf tlie Kidueya and Blad
. i n(o iaaury Discharges, Imputency, General Debility,
Vmmness. Dyspepsy. Languor, Low Spirits. Confusion
Ideas Palpitation of tlie Heart, Timidity, Tremblings,
i sisGef Sight or Giddiness, Disease of tlie Heed,
I "7, ,1 Wor Skin, Affections of tile Liver, Lungs. Stum
■\ r Bind- —those Terrible disorders- arising from tile
■ iur, 11 riots of Youth—those secuet and solitary prac
... mire fatal to t tie i i victims than tlie song of Syrens to
i-i Humors of Clysses, blighting their most brilliant
jr anticipations, rendering marriage ,4c., impossi-
YOUNG MEN
•Mcikllv. who have become the victims of Solitary Vice,
mi dreaUful and doalnctlve habit which annual.y sweeps
m uniimetvgiave thousands of Vouug Men of the moat
• ul:! 1 talents ani brilliant intellect, who might other
|iaV(. entranced listening Senates with t l * thunders
f ■Dqueoce, or waked to ectasy the living lyre, may call
,i',i toll rouDdence,
MARRIAGE.
'lirn>-i Persona, or Young Men cotemplating marriage,
HWA r,j uf physical weakness, organic debility, defor
. \<\. kc.. speedily cured.
'lie wjio places liimselt under th* cure of Dr. J. may re
ijU’ly couft le in his honor as a gentleman, and confi
;'utlv rclv upon hU skill os a physician.
* ORGANIC WEAKNESS
icmeJinUilv Cured, and full igor Restored,
liiis Distressing Affect ion—which renders Life miserable
v ; mirriago impossible—is tin* penalty paid by the
yf improper indulgences. Young pern, ns an* to
m commit oxcea es from not being await* uf the dread
j .;.;nw-pjifnCo!i ih: t may eu«u-‘. Now, who -thut under
:,iih the subject will pretend t» deny that the power of
vreati-m is lust *.» *n»r by tho-e falling into improper
v.;f; thin be the prudent! Besides being deprived the
.. 4 , U sv9 jf healthy off-pring, the most serious and de*
jvo symptoms to both body and mind arise. The
• :-m heroines Deranged, the Physical and Mental Func
;.-n< Weakened. Loss of Procreative Power, Nervous Irri.
ability. Dyspasia, Palpitation of theTliwt, Indigestion
.'■institutional Debility, a Wasting of the Frame, Cough.
>!«aaiption. Decay and Death.
OFFICE. NO. 7 SOUTH FREDERICK STREET,
land side going from Baltimore street, a few doors
•■i:u th- comer. Kail not to'observe name aud number.
L iters must be paid and contain a stamp. The Doc*
>r’s Dii'laruas bang in his office
* CURE WARRANTED IN TWO DAYS.
Xo Mercury or ATustons Drugs.
DR. JOHNSON, „
b aiber of the Royal College of burgeons, London.. Grad
.on from one uf the most eminent Colleges In the United
and the greater part of whose life has been spent in
:!.<> hospitals of London, Paris, Philadelphia and else
srhere, has effected some of tho most astonishing cures
: i;t were ever known; many troubled with ringing In the
>1! and cars when asleep, great, nervousness, being
Armed at sudden sou ids, . boshfulness, with frequent
Mulling, attended sometimes with derangement of mind.
* -re cured immediately.
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTICE-
Or. J. addresses all those who have injured themselves
t improper indulgence ami solitary habits, which ruin
■j.th b.xly and mind, unfitting them for either business,
•tii'lr. society or marriage.
Thise are some of the ead and melancholy effects pro
by early habits of youth, viz: Weakness of the
Kirk aud Limbs, Pain* in the Head, Dirur ess of Sight.
Muscular Power, Palpitation-of the Heart. Dye
- r*>i Nervous Irritability, Derangement of the Dipes
:»'* Functions, General Debility, Symptoms of Cousump
; »n. Ac.
Mextallt.—The fearful effects of tho mind are much to
> dreaded—L «ra of Memory, Confusion of Ideas,
•■ j s*ion of spirits, Evil-Forebodings. Aversion to Society.
' If-Diitrun, liove of Solitude, Timidity, Ac., are some of
'devils produced.
Thjcxasds of persons of all ages can now jndge what is
r- cause of their declining health, losing their vigor, be
-‘ ling weak, pale, nervous and emaciated, having a flin
polar appearance about the eyes, cough and symptoms ol
•r.samptioD
YOUNG MEN
have injured themselves by a certain practice Jn
ia!;ed in wlum alone, a habit frequently learned from
'il companions, or at school, the effects of which are
:.:<stly felt, eren when asleep, and if not cured render*
sirmje imposible, and destroys both mind and body.
Apply immediately.
Wh.it a pity that a young man. the hop* of his country.
in darling of his parents, should be snatched from all
’f ilets and enjoyments of life, by the consequence of
:fl *utiug from the path of nature, and indulging in a
’•rtup. secret-habit. Such persons must, before coutem
rating 1
MARRIAGE.
luct that a sound mind and -body «re the most necessary
'•■■piisiles to promote connubi d happiiu**. Jrdeed, with*
jut these, the journey through life becomes a weary pil
:ri!Dig**; the prospect hourly duikens to the view; the
auM b-jcjmes shadowed with'deipair Mid filled with the
.’;Unch»ly reflection that the happiness ol another be
blighted with our own.
DISEASE OF IMPRUDENCE.
When the misguided and imprad*nj votary of pleasure
ju-iathathe lias imbibed the ►eeda of this painful dia
• i'o. it too often happens that an ill-timed sense of shame.
*'head of discovery, deters him from applying to tho*e
sni, from education and respectability, can alone be
-nd h?m. dclaylue till the constitutional symptoms of
*nii h'lrriirdisease make their appearance, such as ulcera
’feUore throat, diseased nose, nocturnal pain sin the bead
• i; 'litnbi. dltnoess of sight, deafness, nodes on the ship
and arras, blotches on the head, face and extremi-
with frightful rapidity, till at last the
*iUt€ of the mouth or the bones of the nose fall In, and
*•““ victim of this awful disease becomes a horrid object of
till death puts a period to his dreadful
by seuding him t • that Undiscovered Country
r -m whence no traveller returns/*
it I* h mdanchoijf fdet that thousands fall victims to
■’* :s terrible diva*»e, owing t*> lh« unskillfnluess of igno
• jut preten:l*«ra. who, by the use of that Deadly /bison.
JTr;*rj/. ruin the constitution and make the residue of
miserable.
STRANGERS , ■'
|/o*t not your live*, »»r health to the care of the many
lokirosti ami Worthies* Pretenders, destitute of knnwl
t4 --> fivms or character, wh > copy Dr-Johnston s adver*
hiemshtt. or stylo thein<elvc*, In the newspapers, regu
•lrlr Pbvdiclun*. incapable of Curing, they keep
yo ? trifling month after month, taking their filthy‘and
P’uonous compound*, or as loti" as tin* smallest'fee can
« obtained, and in despair, leave you with ruined health
your (tailing disappointment.
Or Johnston U the only Physician advertising. '
im credential or diplomas always hang in bh office.
tJ-!* r * me^es or treatment an* unknown to all others,
th« lrB^r,ln »life spent in the great hospitals of Kurope.
u ‘ * n country and a more extensive Private Prac
* any other Physician in the world.
TK INDORSEMENT of the press.
ado many thousands cured at this institution, year after
s«rt* a numerous important .Surgical operations
w ortaed by Johnston, witnessed by the reporters of the
' i:!*?* Clipper,’’ and many oth* r papers, notices of
s**"® appeared again and again before the public,
B t * n'tbig as a gentlemen of character and re
“tmillty, is a sufficient guarantee to the afflicted.
,{fOVF l{ c
V- , S *'N diseases speedily cur^d.
it.’,,., w rcc ' l, »l uulMs piMt-paii* ,t)4 containing a
w,.. P , be ? ,<Kto ." t)l - r,, Pl. r I’erw.n. wntlng«lion)d.tiite
t*...** 0 p ’rtioiirtfa.lrm-tl.emcDtdeticrililng symptoms
1i1t... . n * r rit l nK •Imnld tie p.rticnisr in directing tbeir
to .hi. I Dst italic;;. in tho following manner;
n ,M. JOHNSTON. M. 0.,
Oltha Baltimore Lock Boapital, Marjla
?S*M9 or JtnTUTXSUIO
$Mu
THE SLEEPING CHILD.
A brook wrnt dancing on its way. ’
From bank to valley leaping;
And by its tunny margin lay
A lovely Infant sleeping.
The murmur of the parting stream
Broke not the spell which bound him
Like music breathing iu hls dream
A lullaby around him.
It is a lovely aigbj to view,
Within this world of Borrow,
One spot which still retains the hue
That earth from Heaven may borrow.
And such was this—a scene so fair,'
Arrayed in Summer brightness,
And one poor being rested there.
One soul of radiant whiteness.
What happy dreams, fair child, «»•« given.
To cast their sunbeams o'er thee T
What ton! unites that soul to Heaven.
Where visions glide before thee?
For wandering smiles of childish mirth
OVr-thy glad features learning.
Say not a a form of earth,
Alloys thine hour of dreaming.
Mayhap, atar on unseen wings,.
Thy silent spirit soaring.
Now hears the bursts from golden springs
Where angels are adoring;
And. with the pure, heliacal throng
Around their Maker prnisdng.
The Joyous heart may Join the song
Tcu thousaud tongues are raising.
JWwf : Ipscdlang.
GIRLS ON ICE,
Don’t imagine for an instant, girls, that
learning to skate is the least bit calcula
ted to inspire you with any pleasing
emotions. Far from it. I will tell you
just how it will be. You will say to'John
Henry—
“ How I would like to know how to
skate.”
John Henry will say—
“ my love. Of course.”
The next time he comes he will bring
you a pair of Conover & Walker's best.
He will say—
“ To-morrow evening, darling, at half
past five.”
To-morrow evening you will get your
skates about half-past six, with a strong
determination to show John Henry what
a graceful little fairy you are‘on ice.’—
He leads you from ‘ terra firms’ to ‘ terra
icea,’ which you at once discover to be a
different kind of ‘terra’ .altogether. You
bow to John Henry, and lift, your right
foot, which causes you to bow seventeen
different ways at once. John Henry tells
you to do as he does. You try to do so,
and immediately—some one falls. You
look around to see who it is, and the
thought strikes you ‘ perhaps it is myself!’
You are picked up, and fall down eleven
times without stopping.
Your skates are loose. Of 1 course it is
or you could strike out, John Henry
loosens and tightens your straps in the
usual way. You strike out with hands
aftd feet, with energy and enthusiasm.—
The former you plunge into John Henry’s
countenance, and with the latter you suc
ceed in laying him out alongside of your
self. You rise, and he rises partially up.
and you throw yourself into his bread
basket in an inhuman way. You hoarsely
Whisper:
“John Henry. I shall faint if you push
mo down again.”
He helps you up, and you knock him
down five times with stopping. At last
you let him stand. He persuades you to
release him, while he wipes the sweat
from his noble brow- Yqu nobly grant
i the boon ; and, after superhuman exer
tions to maintain the perpendicular, you
quietly settle slantindicularly into John
Henry’s coat sleeve. A look of despera
tion says, as plainly as a look can, ‘John
Henry, why do you push anti throw me
down in this disagreeable way V
He looks at his watch.
“If* it possible! Eight o’clock, and
your mother said you must be at home at
nine.”
Your prayers have been answered ; and
it is he that wants to go home and not
you. You go home, and, if not very
pious, you think a few very mild bad
words about skating in general, and learn
ing to skate in particular.
Four days after, when you are just able
to walk around the house, without limp
ing—if you are reckless of life and limb —
regardless of sprained ankles—or married
•to a feller what your pa likes and you
don’t—you will go again and learn to
skate, it’s ten to one, though, that you
| never try it again a second time. So much
on ice.”
(ST Many years ago m the village of
Grand Isle, situated upon the beautiful
island of that name in Lake Champlain,
lived a man of atheistic principles who,
on one occasion while iri conversation
with a Scotch Presbyterian neighbor,
avowed his belief that there was no God,
whereupon the non-comformist leveled
him to the earth with a blow from bis
stalwart fist. Being remonstrated with
for his remarkable action, lie replied:
“If a man will not fight for his God,
who will he fight for f'
ALTOONA, PA., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1863.
TEE FEESS AND THE DEAD HEADS.
Bailroads, steamboats and stage coaches
complain of dead heading—that is to
say, of preachers, editors and brethern of
the craft, riding so much without pay.—
The newspaper press endures more of this
dead-heading than any three of these
modes of conveyance combined. The
pulpit, the bar and the theatre, corpora
tions, legislative assemblies, societies, re
ligious, benevolent, agriculturial, mer
cantile establishments, venders of quack
medicines, railroad conpanies, stage lines,
and every variety of individuals, including
political parties, draw largely upon the
liberality of the press. The press is ex
pected to yield to all those interests; is
requested to give strength to all weak in
stitutions and enterprises : it is asked to
puff some preachers into overshadowing
pulpit orators ; to puff small politicians
and unprincipled demagogues into great
men and patriots; to magnify incompetent
railroad officers into railroad kings; it is
expected to herald abroad the tains of
quacks of all classes, bolster up dull au
thors, and immortalize weak Congressional
speeches. It is required to give sight t<>
the blind, tread to the hungry, talents to
the fools, and honor to the thieves and
robbers ; it is asked to cover up the in
firmities of the weak, to hide the faults of
guilty men, and wink at the fraudulent
schemes of scoundrels it expected to flat
ter the vain, to extole the merits of those
.who deserve nothing but the scorn and
contempt of all good citizens; it is re
quired, in a word, of the newspaper press,
that it become all things to ail men ; and
if it looks for pay, or sends out its bills
for subscriptions or advertising it is de
nounced as mean and sordid, and its con
ductors as wanting in liberality. There
is no interest on the face of this green
earth that is expected to give as much to
society, without pay or thanks, as the
newspaper press of the country. The lit
tle-souled man, who inserts in your
columns a fifteen shilling advertisement,
expects you to write out at least five dol
lars’ worth'of editorial noiices. And the
obscure niggardly man you have written
into a position of importance far beyond
his meiits, considers that his name
adorns your columns, and gives circula
tion to your journal. —Louisville Journal.
Humors of thf. Draft. —The other
day a tough-loot ing customer appeared
before one of the Military Commissioners
in New York, and said: “Mr. Commis
sioner, I am over forty-five.”
, “ How old are you t”
“1 don’t know how old I jun, but I am
over forty-five.”
“ In what year did you make your first
appearance in this mundane sphere ?”
“ I don't know what you mean, but 1 am
over forty-five.”
“When wore you born?”
“ I don’t know, but I am over forty-
five.”
“ How am I to know when you are
over age?”
“ I don’t know, and I dont care, but I
am over forty-five.”
“ When were you forty-five ?”
“ I don’t know, but I know I am over
forty-five.”
“ You must give me some proof that
you are over age.”
“ I have been in this country thirty
three years; I am over forty-five.”
“ That does net prove you are too old to
be drafted.”
“ I don’t care; I know I am over forty-
five.”
“ I shall not erase your name until you
prove your age.”
*• I tell you I have been in this country
thirty-three years, and I went a sparking
before 1 came here ; lam over forty-five.”
“ Will you swear to it ?”
“Yes, I’m over forty-five; d—d if I
ain’t over forty-five
“Well, I will exempt you.”
“I don’t care wliether you do or not;
I am a foreigner—besides, I have a
wooden legand he went stumping into
the street, swearing oaths not called for by
the Commissioner. — Tribune. ■
A Human Body and the Hour op j
Day.— Seat yourself at a table. Attach
a piece of metal (say a shilling) to a
thread. Having placed your elbow on a
table, hold the thread between the points
of the thumb and fore finger, and allow
the shilling to hang in the centre of a
glass tumbler, the pulse will immediately
cause the shilling to vibrate like a pen
dulum, and the vibrations will increase
until the shilling strikes the side of the
glass ; and suppose the time of the experi
ment be the hour of seven, or half-past
seven, the pendulum will strike the glass
seven times, and then lose its momentum
and return to the centre ; if you hold the
thread a.sufficient length of time the cf
| feet will be repeated ; but not until a suf
i ficient space of lime has elapsed to con-
I vince you Hie experiment is complete.
| We need not add that the thread must be
held with a steady, hand ; otherwise the
I vibratipg motion would l>e counteracted.
At whatever hour of the day or night the
i the experiment is made, the coincidence
1 will be the same.
[INDEPENDENT IX EVERYTHING.]
Finding Money. — 4 Queer Incident. —
A Scotch paper tells the following:—
While a farmer named Stephenson was
wending his way to Forfar market, his
daughter, who sat facing the rear of the
wagon, suddenly exclaimed that she saw
‘‘ some siller in the road I” The farmer
stopped the vehicle, dismounted, and went
back to the place indicated by his daughter,
when he discovered it to be a half-crown.
After picking it up and showing it to his
daughter, lie put it in his pocket among
the rest of his money, mounted his vehicle
and drove on again. He had several
times to stop and pick- up money before
they got half a mile out of town, the
daughter keeping a sharp look*out, and the
farmer, as he picked up the other half
crowns, remarked: “ Odd, lassie, the’ve
shurely sawen the ground wi’ siller herea
bouts.” Presently the daughter exclaimed:
“ There's a knife and some money lying
together!” The farmer was not long in
picking it up, when he remarked that the
knife was very like his own; so after
turning it over in his hand to look at it,
he thrust his hand into his pocket, where
he kept'his knife and his money, when to
his ufter astonishment, bis fingers went
through the bottom! Ho had been drop
ping his own tn>ney all along the road
and rejoicing in his good luck in finding
ft. On casting up accounts, he found
himself minus three-half crowns that his
daughter’s shaVp eyes had not detected.
Ikfluexce of a Hoi.t Life. —There is
an energy of moral suasion in a good
man’s life passing the highest efforts of
the orator’s genius. The seen but silent
beauty of holiness speaks more eloquently
of God and duty than the tongues of men
and angels. Let parents remember this.
The best inheritance a parent can be
queath to a child is a virtuous example, a
legacy of hallowed remembrances and as
sociations. The beauty of holiness beam
ing through the life of a loved relative or
friend, is more effectual to strengthen such
as do stand in virtue's ways and raise up
those that are bowed down, than precept,
command, entreaty or warning. Chris
tianity itself, I believe, owes by far the
greater part of its moral power, not to
the precepts and parables of Jesus Christ,
but to His own character. The beauty of
that holiness which is enshrined in the four
biographies of the Miin of Nazareth, has
done more and will do more, to regenerate
the world, than all other agencies put to
gether. It has done more to spread His
religion in the world, than all that has
ever been preached or written on the evi
dences of Christianity.
Religion.—What advantage can be
derived from a course of rebellion against
the King of Heaven? Lo.;k forward,
we pray you, to Nature's dissolution—
when the world will have no more at
tractions for you—when the sun will look
dim, and the grasshopper be a burden—
when friends in vain will watch around
your bed to comfort and console you.—
What would be more precious to the soul
at such an hour, than the blessed hope of
a glorious immortality beyond the grave?
Had you words to give, they would freely
be exchanged for this. But no ;if you
reject the way of life, and ponder tlie
dark course of sin; if you heed not the
voice of parental counsel and friendly
admonition, and urge your step in the
mazes of folly, you must reap the reward
of your iniquity in that world where hope
can never come.
' A Long Prayer.—The following story
is told of Rev. Walter Jackson, a Scotch
Presbyterian preacher of the last genera
tion : The prayers of even godly men at
that time were very long and heavy, com
prehending sometimes a system of divinity.
Jackson was notorious for length. He
was'attcnding a funeral at HaUmyre. —
The company had assembled in the barn
to get some refreshments, and having par
taken, he was asked to return thanks.—
He commenced in right good earnest with
the fall of Adam, and was going down
from one great Bible doctrine to another
till patience was exhausted. Significant
looks passed among the mourners; one by
one they left, the funeral procession started
for Newlands churchyard. When Walter
came to a close, and opened his eyes he
found himself alone, and on inquiry dis
covered that the procession was fully a
mile away. His conceited soul was chafed.
Trr.i. the Truth to Children.—A I
gentleman of nervous temperament once I
called on Dr. Dwight, President of Yale
College. One of the doctor’s boys was
rather boisterous and pestered the nervous
gentleman somewhat—whereujKm he said
to him, “My boy if you will keep still
while I am talking to your father, I will
give you a dollar.” Instantly the boy
hushed down, gentle as a sleeping lamb.
At the close of the gentleman’s remarks,
he attempted to leave without giving the
boy the dollar ; but Dr. Dwight was too
fast for him. He put a dollar into the
man’s hands, saying, “ You promised.; my
boy a dollar for good behaviour. G ive him
that as you promised. If, sir, we lie, our
' children will be liars.”
Didn't Want to Drink it. —Tho com
mon sewer? of St. Louis, are led out into
large ducts that discharge into the Mis
sissippi. At low water, along the levee,
you may find the outlets flfrery square or
two, where the aqueous deposit of filth
flowing down from the hidden sluices oozes
out, and is washed away by the sweeping
stream that generally overflows the open
ings. Walking along the margin of the
stream one day, ‘ a friend of mine' ob
served two specimens of hoosierdom
dressed in ‘ butternuts,’ apparently search
ing for something. Their motions excited
his interest, and caused him to watch.—
Pretty soon one in advance of the other
stopped, and called to his fellow, as he
stood over one of the outlets. ‘ 1 say'Bill,
here’s another spring, plum down here!’
Bill responded, with some disgust in his
countenance, ‘ Wa’al doggon it all, if
'(ain't better than (other J don't want, to
drink it P The river rippled on, and even
the waves laughed.
A Slight Misunderstanding. —“Oh
I love you like everything.” said a young
roan to his sweetheart, warmly pressing
her hand.
“ Ditto,” said she, very gently return
ing the pressure. The ardent lover, not
happening to be over learned, was sorely
puzzled to understand the meaning of
ditto, but’ was ashamed to expose his
ignorance hy asking the girl. He went
home; and the next day, being at work in
a cabbage-yard with his father be spoke
out— :
“ Daddy, what’s the meaning of ditto?”
“ Why,” said the old man, “ this here
is one cabbage-head, ain’t it?”
“ Yes, daddy.”
“ Well, that ar*s ditto.”
“ Rot that ar* good for-nothing gal 1”
ejaculated the indignant son, “ she called
me a cabbage-head, and I’ll never go to
see her again,” and fortunately for the
girl he kept bis word.
No Bettfh.— “ Sam” said a minister
to his man of all work, you must bottle
the cask of whisky this afternoon ; but
as the vapor from the whisky may be in
jurious, take a glass of it before you
begin, to prevent intoxication.” Now
Samuel was an old soldier, and never was
in better spirits than when bottling whisky:
and having received from his master a
special license to taste, went to work most
heartily. Some hours after the minister
visited the cellar to inspect the progress ;
and was horrified to find Sam lying-- his
full length on the floor “Oh, Sam!”
said the minister, “ you have not taken
my advice, and you see the consequences..
Rise Bam, take a glass yet; it may re
store you.” Sam, nothing loth, took the
glass from the minister’s hands, and hav
ing emptied it, said: “ Oh, sir, this is
the thirteenth glass, but I'm no better yet.”
Father and Daughter.—There is no
prettier picture in life than that of a
daughter reading to her aged father. The
old man, while listening to her silvery
notes, goes back to other times, when
another one sat by his side, and whispered
words he will never hear again, nor does
he wl«b to do so, for in the soft evening
light he sees her image reflected in her
child; and as one by one gentle emotions steal
over him he veils his face, and the daugh
ter, thinking him asleep, goes noiselessly
in search of other employment. Vjrgin
innocence watching over the cares and
wants of old age, is a spectacle fit for
angels. It is one of the links between
earth and heaven, and takes from the face
of the hard and selfish world many of its
harshest features. ,
Hard Times in the Backwoods.—
The difficulty of obtaining money in the
new settlements in Canada may be infer
red from the following remarkable letter
received at the office of the Montreal
Witness : —
“Dear Sir: —Since the term of my
subscription ran out for the Witness, we
have been contriving different ways to
raise the funds to renew our subscrip
tion, but have failed until now. We
never drank any alcohol, nor smoked any
tobacco; we have given up tea for the last
vear, so there was no retrenchment in
that direction ; but as it is somewhat of a
mild winter, I thought, by keeping my
coat always buttoned up, I might do very
well without a shirt —so please send on
your Weekly Witney, to cheer the fireside
of a backwoodsman.”
He Surrendered. —An amusing inci
dent occurred during the battle of Newto
nia, Mo. The fight being hotly contested,
an officer became veiy thirsty and repaired
to a spring near by to get a draft of cool
water. Kneeling down he drank from
the spring without the aid of a cup. As
he arose from his refreshing tod, be sat
fair and square upon his own heels, which
were armed with a pair of tremendous
Mexican spurs. The instant he felt the
prick of the sparp rollers, he thought the
enemy were upon him and « bayonet
entering his flesh. When some of his men
arrived, he was bawling, “ Oh I _ surren
der! I surrender 1” at the top of his voice.
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
Incidents. —The following interesting
incidents are said to have occurred during
the battle near the Blackwater, Va. One
of the Pennsylvania conscripts—“ Invol
untary volunteers'*—cane out of the
woods he had entered to avoid the rebel
shot, with a horse and three rebels ahead
of him, and three rebel muskets in his
hands. A 13th Indiana soldier was tying
his shoe in the woods, and when he looked
up two bayonets were pointed at him.—
He went a little way with his captors,
watched his chance, and seizing the guns,
brought both his custodians intp camp.
Pkatixg Machixk.—ln the Indian de
partment of the great exhibition is a red
praying wheel from Thibet The prayer
is written on a piece of paper and fixed
to the wheel, which revolves on a spindle
held in ihe hand. The idea of the wor
shipper is that every time the wheel turns
the prayer is made. Frequently the
wheel is fitted to be turned by a small
stream. In the mountains of Thibet
travelers see considerable numbers of these
praying machines thus driven by water
power.
M a King Oct a Scfpes.—Mr. Brown
called in at a neighbor’s and was urged to
take supper, which he did, the old lady
all the while saying—“ I’m afraid, Mr.
Brown, you will not make a supper; you
have eaten nothing—do eat some more.”
After he bad stepped out, he heard the old
lady say to her husband, “ Why, I do de
clare, I should think Mr. Brown had not
eaten anything for a month.”
W 4l Halloa, my little man!” saida
gentleman from a window in the second
story of his country mansion to a little
urchin passing by, who was gazing up
with much apparent wonder, “ I guess
you thing there is a little heaven up here,
don’t you bub?”
“ Well, yes, sir I should, if I hand’t
seen the devil stick his head out of the
window!”
C 3" A Yankee down east has invented
a machine for corking up daylight, which
will eventually, supercede gas. He covers
the interior of a flour barrel with shoema
ker’s wax—holds it open to the sun,
then suddenly heads up the barrel. The
light sticks to the wax and at night can
be cut in lots to suit purchasers.
0* An Irish waiter complimented a
salmun in the following manner: “Faith,
it's nut two hours since that salmon was
walking round his real estate with his
hands in his pockets, never dreaming what
a pretty invitashun he’d have to jine you
gentlemen at dinner.”
(3*Prentice, of the Louisville Journal,.
says: “ Those who talk of a reconstruc
tion of the Union, with New England
left out are no better than the other reb
els,” which statement tersely sums up the
whole question.
0* Speaking of the brilliant feat of the
Queen of the West in running the block
ade at Vicksburg, Prentice says: “As a
Queen she has won the crown, and as a
ram he bears off the horns.”
0*“ Mynheer, do you know what for we
call our boy Hans 1” “I do not, really.”
“ Well I will tell you. Dor reason we
call our boy Hans—it is bis name.”
O'* “You want a flogging, that’s what
you do!” said a parent to his unruly son.
“ I know it, dad, but I’ll try to get along
without it.”
O* Somebody said the other day that a
stick thrown at a dog, in front of a Wash
ington Hotel, hit five Brigadier Generals!
O” There are two reasons why we don’t
trust a man: one because we don’t know
him, and the other because we do.
CVHe who loves a lady’s complexion,
form and features, loves not her true self,
but her soul’s old clothes.
figg- A Beau dismissed by a belle, and
an aiTow dismissed by a bow, are apt to
be off in a hurry. ,
BgL, Though death is before the old
man’s face, be may be as near the young
man’s back.
of duelling—a sangui
nary game of fighting for a funeral.
OrThe experience of many a life;—
What a fyol I have been.
Or The sunset clouds are the visible
song of the day that is dead.
CP* Zeal without knowledge is fire with
out' light.
iST Short items make long columns.
NO. 3.