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AND BAKERY !
RSIGN ED ANNOUN
i of Altoona and riciaity tint la
icintoicea of :
aONAEIES, NUTS, SHOES
enpraaaly for the Holiday*,
ij* on ba«d a food ttoek of plido
•n ttaov&etttr*.
I|NES, RAISINS, AC,
Mon* Of the year.
gar. Molasses, Batter,
SITE WHEAT FLO UR,
toon, CORN JISAL, *C,
da In lar*o or email quanUtiee.
Wo roj abide and yon will Sod
iny in town.
JACOBWIHE.
OTIONESY
TER SA I,OON,
RISER WOULD IN
cof Altoona and riciaity that hli
t andFRIUT STORE, it dwar.
mt atticlea to be bad, and In great
K SALOON
Which be will terra op OYSTERS
eaaoooa. , ’
fJM * PISS alwayt on hand.
indte aopply cakaa.oandiea. At..
Wet. He inritea a ahare ofpobllc
*o can render fall tatialkclion te
••loon to onTirglotoittwt.two
OTTOEOMI.
STINGER’S
fews Agency,
•I 7, STREET
b,blA»k books,
30NFECTI0N ARIES
(TOBACCO,
BINGEEAT VAJUBTY
BUT OK aiHD.
r> & co-
"■ ■
. JACK & GO..
vottJojxmmA
fUUm, jaei JO* ”)
THE PMEOiPAL
d 4 04W to«^/W>e#loo.
SB— PEACT?CAL
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McCBUM & dern,
VOL- 7.
' THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
s- »• *»b lurunou. ***’
p»y»W«i | »»»ri* b ly in »dT*nce,) $1,40.
I’ll-P'” iincoutiaaed «t the «xpir»tlon of tb« time
f ,i,l lot
fCEMH or 4»tIBTUUO.
1 iuswlkm 2 do. 3 do.
llie , » “ * '«H $ M
, S line.) 60 75 1 00
0j« ..l u “ re ' ,\ 6 .. ) 100 140 200
t*» " >J4 , 140 J 2 00 240
Ts rec il(W ' w( *t»and lew t**»n three months, 24 cents
pit *1“"" * ,,r e * c *’ in *’ r g months. 6 months. 1 yew .
.$ 150 (3 00 t 5 00
. 2 50 4 00 7 On
. 400 600 10 00
. 600 800 12 00
. AOO 10 00 14 00
. 10 00 14 00 20 00
Su line* orl#M
T*o “
tuf«« “
Pour “
Sir»« lmuu -:r —i* oo
0“’ inutrawr" »■>*> Itaecßtore NoUeM -
br»h. 1*«, »h». .qu« M ,
600
urMt •| ,1 J > n>tl narked with the number of i “ wr ‘
lla t!T«ir.r."ll be continued till forbid and charged ac
f<^ io . s mi mllices fl*re cents per line for every Insertion.
;±r;.r n^";*»d.ng P len lines fifty cent, a eqna e
lock hospital
vJuTiiSd A RKIfCGIS FROM QUACKKRY
Only Place Where a Cure Can
be Obtained. ,
[vR. JOHNSON has discovered the
I m»l Certain, Speedy and only KBectoal Remedy ip
' i. 4 fir all Private DUraias. eakuesa of.the Back
or the Kidneys and
or him . Discharges* Irapotencv, Genera! Debility.
Law Bpirit “~
of l l'.a .iwtiuu of the Heart. Timidity. Trembling..
of Sight or Giddiness Dtsease of the He id.
Nose or 8k in. Affection, of the lover. Lunge. Stom-
Lh or n .'el»-lh.«e Terrible disorder* .rising from the
“aliur* Habits of Yonth-thoso secern ami solitary prac-
r alrt m ' intAl to theii victims than the song of feyrens to
u7yase., blighting their moat brilliant
or anticipations, rendering marriage .Ac., impose!-
ble,
v YOUNG MEN
t. D ecuJlv, who hate become the victims of Solitary Vice.
itiTuielaful amrde.tuctive habit which anmwhy -weep
i» >a untimely giave thmwand. of Yoomt Men of the moat
-Italtoi talent, and brilliant intellect, who niight otUer
'.h. have eufranced liatening Senate, with t'-e thunder
of eloquence, or waked to ecta.y the living lyre, may call
«itk toll coufldence
MARRIAGE. ■
UjrrieJ Psnons, or Vouiik Men cotemplatlnß marriage,
Ming aware of pliy.lcal weakness, organic debility. .lefor
mitv, sc., speedily cured. _ j
Ue who place* himself under th* care of I>r. J. may re- j
ligwadv eunfids In hi* honor a* a geuileman. aud confi- j
dfiutlv rely upon hi-* skill ns a physician.
' ORGANIC WEAKNESS I
Immediately Cured, aud full \ laor Restored. : ;
Taii Distressing Affection—which renders Life miserable |
uurriage impossible—is the penalty paid by the ,
victims of improper indulgences. Young pern* ns are to j
aM to commit «ces es from uot being awai e of the-dread
fol consequences that may ensue. Now.,who that under* ;
iUq U the subject will pretend to deny that the power Cl
pro:raati-m is lo*t sooner by tho-e falling into improper
kbits than by the prudent? Besides being deprived the
pleasure* of healthy offspring, the most senops and de>
(tractive symptoms to both body and mind arise. The
system become* Deranged, the Physical and .Mental Func
tions Weakened. Los- of Procreative Power, Nervous Irr
tsbililv. Dysp-pda, Palpitation df the Heart, Indigestion
Constitutional Debility, h Wasting of the Frame, Cough.
Consumption. Decay and Death.
OFFICE. NO. 7 SOUTH FREDERICK STREET,
Lefi hand side going from Baltimore street, a few doors
from the corner. Fail not to’observe name and number
Letter-* must be paid and contain a stamp. The Doc
tor's Diplomas hang in bis office
A CURE WARRANTED IN TWO GAYS.
„Vo Mercury or JVtweoru VruffS.
N OR. JOHNSON. n .
Member of the Royal College'of Surgeons, London, Grad
Bste from one of the most eminent Colleges in the Dnltoa
Sibles, and the greater part of whose life- has been spent in
tip hospitals of London, Paris, Philadelphia anti else
•here, has effected some of the most astonishing cure*
that wer<uorer known; many troubled with ringing in Un
heal and eirs when asleep, great nervousness, being
ijarmed at tudden sou ids, bashful ness, with frequent
Washing, attended sometimes with derangement of mini?
w«ro cared immediately.
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTICE-
Dr. J. addresses all those who have injured themselves
by Improper indulgence and solitary habits, which rnlii
both body and mind, unfitting them for either business*.
Uudy. society or marriage.
Taut are some of the sad and melancholy effects pro
duced by early habits of youth, vlx: Weakness of th»
Back and Limbs, Paine in the Head, Dlmtess of Sight
beat of Muscular Power, Palpitation of the Heart. Dy«-
p*psy, Nervous Irritability, Derangement , of the Diges
tive Functions, General Debility, Symptoms of Consump
Uon.Ac. . •
MtSTAU.I.—The fearful effects of the mind are mnehto
be dreaded—L ws of Memorv, Confusion of Weas, De
preiiiuii of spirits, Kvil-Porvbodings. Aversion to Society
ieK-Distravt, Love of Solitude, Timidity, ic., are some .of
the evil* produced. •
Tbocswds of persons of pU ages can now judge what Is
the cause of their declining health, losing their vigor, be
coming weak, pale; nervous and emaciated, having a sin
gular appearance abenttbe eyes,oough and symptoms bi
consumption. i
YOUNG MEN
Who hare lulu red themrelrea by a certain practice in
dulged in when alone, a habit frequently l«rnea froni
ceil companions. or at school, the effect* of which are
algluly felt- e'en when asleep, anil if not cured render.
Bandage Irapoaiblc, and destroy! both mind and body
ikonld apply immediately.
What a uitythat a young man. the hope of his country,
the darling of h!» parent*, should be snatched from all
proa pecta and enjoyment* of lift, by the consequence o!
deflating from the path of nature, and indulging ins
cert tin aecret habit. Such persons near, before contem
plating .
. MARRIAGE, s
reflect that a sound mind anil body are the most necessary
reqnisites'to promote cunbabUl happiness. Irdeed, with*
out these, the journey through life becomes* weary pli*
grimiga; the prospect hourly darken* to the view; the
mind becomes shadowed with despair and filled with the
melancholy reflection that the happiness ot another be*
comes blighted with our own.
DISEASE OF IMPRUDENCE.
When the misguided and imprudent rotary of P[** s 5f e
finds that he Ua* Imbibed the eeed* of thl*' painful,die*
•ase, it too often happen* that an 111-tlraed *en*e of shame,
or dread of discovery, deter* him from applying to tho»e
*h>, from educathm and respectability, can alone be
friend him. delaying till the constitutional symptoms of
this horrid disease make their appearance, such a* nicer*
tel sore throat, diseased noae, nocturnal pain s in the head
and limbs, dimness of sight, deafness, node* on the snip'
j-boaes and arms, blotches on the head, fkco and extremi
ties, progressing with frightful rapidity, till at last the
palate of the month or the bones of the pose fall in, and
the victim of this awful disease become* a horrid object o|
frvmjlwratlon, til! death pats a period to his dreadful
iQfferings, by sending hlm t-* that. Undiscovered Country
from whence no traveller returns.” ; : .
It !• a mdancholg ftcl that thousand* fall victims, to
this terrible disease, owing to the'uitskillfulnes* of igno
red pretenders, who, by the use of that Deadly
Ifiregry. rain the constitution and make the residua of
We miserable.
„ STRANGERS ,
"rut not your lives, 'W health to the care of the nuiny
'Votuni94 and WortbicM Pretenders, destitute of kuowi*
name or character, wh * copy Dr Johnson’* adter*
lament*, or stylo ln the newspapers, re£u*
Educated Physicians. incapable of Curing, th**y keep
7»Q trifling month 'after month, taking their filthy and
M*onouj compounds, or a* long as the smallest fee cat
b* obtained, and in despair, leave you With ruined health
to sigh over your galling disappointment,
pr. Jdm<ton is Ae only Physician advertising.
Hl« credential ordiplomas always hang lo hU office.;;
Ills remedies or treatment are unknown to all o*hf rs-
Pftpuedfnm alifo spent lu the great hospitals of Kurope.
toe first lu the country and a morn extensive Private Pine
he* than other Physician in the world.
INDORSEMENT OF THE PRESS, .
the nxiuy thousands cured at this institution, year after
7«sr. and the nameron* liu|M>rtant Surgical operations
bv Jubuntba. by the reporters of the
' ® uu *” ** Clipper," and many oih»r papers, notices" of
which hwe appeared again and again before the public,
hendet his standing as a gentlemen of character and re
•pottilbllUy, Is a sufficient guarantee to the afflicted.
SKIN.DISEASES SPEEDILY CURED. .
J*o leUrra rwceived miles* post-pul** vui containing a
itS’npto be med on the reply Persons wntlogshonld shite
p * rtwn of tvlvertUcment describing symptoms
i < ? rWM welting shbnld be pnitkolnr In directing tbeir
IHisrs to this Institution. in the following manner:
_- fOHH M.JOHH9TOM. M. 0.,
<Uttw Mtlmora link Bmpttal'Hiu’iU
®heke feetrg.
The tell-tale eye it eloquent,
\ld mirth or anger** sodden flash;
But far more meaning it it* glance
Wh«n lore peepe outbe Death the lath.
In vain the half averted brow—
The thought to bide but doth reveal,
Ami downcast look, and crimson glow,
Do bot betray and pot conceal.
The lipe may more in studied:phrase,
. And words Well chosen feign surprise;
But ere by speech the heart U hid,
The truth is sjmken by the eyes!
Think then as welt tohide theday,
Whose opening beams the shadows move.
As in the eye to qneucb the ray
That speaks, nnbld, Thi Daw* op Lots!
26 00 40 00
1 TS
jfcbrt
Private Joel Smapes, of a hardworking,
tough-sinewed regiment of Vermont vol
unteers, was a good shot and a smart sol
dier. He found great satisfaction in picket
duty, and hardly came in after a day’s ex
ercise in that branch of military without
having a report to make to his superior
officer of some new work discovered, some
cjnversation overheard, some little chance
circumstances perceived, that might be of
use in gaining an advantage over the
enemy
Joel was a long, lank, yellow-haired
f ellow, not very soldierly in speech or bear
ing, but of infinitely more ■ service than
many of our snug dapper,, well-looking
city * soldiers. He was frightfully sun
burned, and his face, coarse-featured and
demure, suggested good humor and endur
ance, more than courage and discipline.—
But there was a twinkle about his small,
grey eyes, which enlivened: them despite
their scanty and characterless white lashes,
and impressed the closer sort of observer
with a wholesome respect for his courage
and intelligence. His nasal voice and
drawl, his round shoulders and flat, build,
could not shake this respect so long as one
kept those clear, cool, far-seeing eyes in
sight; and Joel’s Comrades prophesied
that he had only to behave himself, and
keep on his own way, to gain a pair of
epualettes one fine dayi
He openly declared Jhat ' manual labor
on the earthworks was distasteful to him ;
and his officers, knowing His value at
picket duty, evinced enough consideration
for him to keep him at the service.
The position that he liked best was on
the slope of a hill, opposite; a similar slope
occupied by a sentinel of the Confederates.
This last was quite a high bit of ground
whence one plight See a great deal that
was going on about the batteries further
down. Joel believed; that the sentinel
there stationed learned more than was well
for our side. He accordingly haxrassed
and annoyed every one that showed his
head on thfe hill-side opposite, and left
several adventurous fellows stretched on
the turf, one after another, i as a reward
for their temerity.'
Jt .was nearly a quarter of a mile off
but, as I have said, the long Vermonter
was a good shot, and it became really
dangerous for the enemy’s pickets to show
themselves at all nearlheir dangerous hill
side. They soon learned; their lesson,
and very soon acted upon vit.
Joel, sauntering down his path one fine
afternoon, heard a sharp report, and felt
the wind of a rifle ball that came wonder
fully near his head. Turning quickly, he
saw the smoke floating up from a little
pile pf fresh earth oti the hill opposite.—
The enemy had dug a pit wherein the sen
tinel could sit at ease, : and expose his head
and arms only when he fired. Private
Smapes hastened with praiseworthy pru
dence to get out of; sight, among some
cedars, and watched soma time before
quite fixing the location pf the foeman
again. Finally discovering the fresh earth
once more, and imagining tliat he saw a
hat just above it, lie took a shot in the di
rection. Up pegged a tall sentinel, bare
headed, and returned the flip instantly.—.
He had only been trying the old trick of
. putting his hat on a .ramrod. , T ,
“This'll never dew,” soliloquized Joel.
“That cuss has got tew good a berth
over yonder. I’ll just hape ter rout them
out.” -The other sentinel’s fleath-warrant
was in some sort signed from that moment.
The crafty Vennontei’s; brain was at
work on the probkmofdipodging his man
thenceforth. " :
THE DAWN OF LOVE.
LOVE AMP POLITICS.
Wbo could love a &ce*h woman t
Half a deyil, scare* half hamao,—
A real rara avis,
Bed, White, K-d upon her-bonnet,
Screeching some rebellious sonuet—
Or yelling for Jeff Dati*.
If with such I were united,' k
Or to her my vows had plighted.
1 would break the fetter;
Never yield a tame concession,
But from her I’d claim secession
To the very letter.
I am certain I should barm her.
For like Scotia’s poet farmer,
I would cure-the evil, '
If 1 had to beat and bang her,-
Give her poison, drpwn, or hang her,
Or whip her like the <ievil.
THE PICKET’S EXTBE.
ALTOONA, PA., TUESDAY, DECEMBER 16, 1862.
So long as Joel kept quiet, so did his
antagonist; but it was presumable that he
could not see the batteries in process of
construction, without exposing himself,
for the earth taken from the pit was care
fully piled upon the side toward Joel.
From the thicket at the fool of the two
hills, however, a shot could be got length
ways of the trench, and behind this trifling
breastwork. To gain the thicket, then,
without being too visible on the barren
slope, was Joel’s idea.
The next day, private Smapes toolc with
him a long piece of stout twine and a re
volver, when he went out on picket duty
It was not yet daylight, but the gray and
indistinct light of dawn had begun to pale
in the east.
The sentinel, as soon as the guard
passed along, hastened to drive a smooth
stake in the ground, and to rest his musket
over a fork in a cedar tree in front of the
stake, the muzzle of the weapon pointing
in the. direction of the pit on the further
slope.
He then cocked the piece and fastening
one end of his cord to the trigger, began
stealthily crawling down the hill on his
hands and knees, playing out the line as
he went.
It was a hazardous experiment, (or the
thicket, when he had gained it, was very
sparse and so near to the point that the
Confederate sentry, had he suspected Joel’s
presence there, could have hardly failed to
hit him.
Qcu.
Lying down, however, the Vermonter
awaited sunrise, and as the shadows faded
away in the mist of morning, he saw the
light gleam upon a bayonet peering from
the trench on the hillside.
“ Now tor to make him show his
pictur!” said Joel to himself.
He pulled the string carefully at first,
till it was drawn tight, then an extra tug
fired the musket from the cedars above.
He had not calculated wrongly. As
soon as the rifleman in the pit heard this
matinal salutation from the enemy over
opposite, as he supposed, he raised himself
up to return fire, and brought his head and
shoulders plainly into sight.
The next instant he went heels over
iiead into the trench again, with a bullet
from the unerring Colt straight through
the side of his head.
“ The darned fool!” said private Smapes,
“didn’t he know a fellow might shoot off
a gun without having hold of it ?”
The Confederate pickets decided there
after that this position was too exposed to
be profitably occupied.
Wellington’s Strategy —On a cer
tain occasion during Wellington’s cam
paign on tlie Pyrennese, that “ Great Cap
tain” being displeased with the dispositions
Gen. Picton had made for receiving the
assault of Marshal Soult, who menaced
him in front ordered the plan Jo be en
tirely changed. But the difficulty was to
delay the attack of the French until the
change could be effected. This the “Iron
Duke” accomplished in person, in the fol
lowing manner. Doffing his cocked hat
and waving it in the air he rode furiously
to ffie head of a regiment, as if about to
order a charge. Thereupon arose a tre
menduous cheer from the men, which was
taken up by corps after corps, until it re
verberated along the whole extent of Pic
ton’s line. As the roar died away, Wel
lington was heard to remark, musingly, as
if addressing himself—" Soult is a skilful
but cautious commander, and will not at
tack in tore® until he has ascertained the
meaning of these cheers. This will give
time for the sixth division to come up and
we shall beat him.” It turned out as an
ticipated. Soult, naturally enough, sup
posed these tremenduous shouts announced
the arrival of large reinforcements, and
did not attack until too late. Had he
struck at the right moment he would have
won an easy victory ; as it was, he met a
bloody repulse. This was strategy. Not
the strategy of books, but the strategy of
genius, engendered and executed in the
same moment.
A Petrified Man.— According to, the
Territorial Enterprise, a petrified man
was found some time ago in the mountains
south of Gravelly Ford. Every limb and
feature of the stony piummy was perfect,
not even excepting the left leg, which had
evidently been a wooden one during the
lifetime of the owner, which lifetime, by
the way, came to a close about a century
ago in the opinion of a savan who has ex
amined the defunct. , The Enterprise adds:
The people of the neighborhood volun
teered to bury the poor unfortunate, and
were even anxious to do so, but it was
discovered when they attempted to remove
him that the water which had dripped
upon him for ages from the crag above
had coursed down his back and deposited
a limestone sediment under him, which
had glued him to the bedrock upon which
he sat as with a cement of a4amaut, and
Judge S. refused to allow the charitable
citizens to blast him from his position.
47* Prentice says Lot’s wife would be
worth sjsventy-five cents a pound in the
yntlmra confederacy.
[independent in everything.]
It is about twenty years since one of the
members of the present Cabinet was n
member of Congress from a distant west
ern State. He had his usual right of des
ignating a single candidate fur admission
to the West Point Military Academy.
The applications made to him for a va
cancy which then existed were not many,
hut among them was a letter from a bo}
of sixteen or seventeen years of age, who.
without any accompanying recommenda
tions or references, asked the appointment
for himself. The member dismissed th(
appeal from his' mind, with perliaps a pas
sing thought of the forwardness and impu
dence of the stripling who could aspire to
such a place on no other grounds than hi;
own desire to get a good education at the
public expense.
But happening a short time afterward;
to'be in the little village whence the lettei
was mailed, the incident was recalled tt
his memory, and he thought he would
beguile the few hours of leisure that lu
had, by looking up the ambitious youth.
He made his way by dint of much inquiry,
to a small tailor-shop on the outskirts o',
the town, and when he was admitted at
the door he found a lad sitting cross-legged
upon the tailor’s bench, mending a rent
in an old pair of pantaloons. But this
lad had another occupation beside hi;
manual toil. Near by, on a small block
of wood, rested a book of abstruse science,
to which he turned his eyes whenever
they could be transferred from the work
in his hands. The member accosted him
by the name given in the letter, and the
lad replied “I am the person.” ‘‘You
wish, then, to be appointed a cadet at
West Point?” “I do,” he rejoined.—
“ Why?” asked the Congressman.
cause,” answered the tailor youth, “ I feel
that I was bom for something better than
mending old clothes." The member talked
further with him, and was so pleased with
his frankness, his spirit, and the rare in
telligence he evinced, that he procured
him the appointment.
The member is now Secretary Smith,
of Indiana, and the youth, Gen. Burnside.
Commander-in-Chief of the Army of the
Potomac. We should not be surprised if
that boy—an excellent specimen of our
northern mudsills—were destined to hoist
the American flag to its old place on the
Capitol at Richmond.;— jV. Y. Eve. Post.
Qdeek Manifestations OFCiiARiTy.—
Dr Peet, an lowa gentleman, writing to
a friend at Des Moines, relates the follow
ing :
‘•ln Chicago I had a plesant proof of
the value of a great city. A sudden call
had been made from Minnesota for the
immediate relief for the 30,000 men.
women and children made homeless and
destitute by the Indian raid. The clergy
of the city took the matter in hand, called
for help from the pulpits, and the next
two or three days they were kept busy in
packing mountains of every conceivable
thing in use in domestic life. I was sit
ting with the Rector of the Trinity Church,
in his splendid edifice, and great packages
were constantly coming in, which were
opened and disposed of in huge boxes of
pine wood for transportation. I observed
in one large bundle a package of corsets
and remarked ‘ that they would hardly be
needed,’ but the Rector said ‘ somebody
may be glad to get them, put them in.’—
The sexton amusinglyLgave them a place
in a huge box, sayingas he pressed them
down, in his Yorkshire dialect, ‘ No ’oops
be coom in as yet. ”
Going to Rest.— Did you ever know
a child, though half dead with play, who
was willing logo to bed? How they will
wink, open their poor eyes, and stare
about, and linger round the bright lamps,
and plead for a reprieve, “just a little
longer, just five or ten minutes!” Time
will cure them of that soon enough, poor
things, so don’t try to teach them the les
son now. Let them “ sit up,” before the
eyil days come when sleep is the most
coveted boon on earth j when they dread
nothing so much as waking to a new day,
and its repetition of weary struggles with
wrong and wrong doers, lighted by
glimpses of sunshine so few and so tran
sient. Crowd into the children’s insect
life all the happiness you can, that they
may have that at least, to look back upon,
when they have no longer the wish or the
power to “ sit up.”
How a. Modest Man was Mistaken.
—The Syracuse Standard says; In Low
ell, at a lecture a few evenings, a gentle
man, the most modest of his sex, and no
less polite than modest, was setting in a
pew rather remote | from the light. *A
pretty lady sat next to him. Looking at
tjie floor during the lecture, be espied what
lie thought was the lady’s handkerchief,
the lace trimmed edge just visible under
Her dress. Turning to his pew matc be
gallantly whispered, “You have dropped
«-A good story is told of one of our your handkerchief, madam!" before she
country who was directed to could reply, he proceeded to pick it up.
serve an execution. He was-told that HpjTor! he bad sejised of her
the property to be levied consisted of three pet— ski» t, and did not discover his mis
heifers, and alter taking charge of them he j take until the top of a gaiter bpot stared
must endorse a return describing the prop- j him in the face, and the faint sound of a
erty. With a view to be entirely correct, laugh just nipped in| the bud by the appli
and not finding “ aul heifers,” he specified ! cation of a real handkerchief, warned him
as follows: *• I went to level on 3 hellers, lof his mistake. Moral—Don’t attempt to
but they warnt aul heffers only won wars i pick up anything with lace to it before
a shee heffer, and the other wars a raeoly ; you know what it is. .
i bull ami the other wars a bully moul.” j —£
49* Why will Americans have j more
cause to remember the letter S than any
other in the alphabet! Because it is the
beginning of Secession and the end of Jeff
Davis. ' .1# . ;;
fST Somebody has written a book on
“The art of making people happy with
out money.” We are in an excellent
condition to be experimented upon. 1
INTEEESTINO ANECDOTE.
IHE SIMPLE PAITH OP A CHILD.
A Paris , paper relates the following
touching incident :—ln one.of the narrow
■streets near the Marchee St; Honore re
sides a poor working family who have
lately been laboring under great distress.
The wife has been for sometime ill, and
the husband has just met with an accident
which has prevented him from following
his usual occupation, so. that his family
»f five children often suffer from hunger.
Among the children was a little intelli
gent girl/who every-day attended the char
ity school, but who has lately been obliged
to stop at home to attend, as best she could,
to her little brothers. She. had been
taught at school that those in distress
jught to address themselves to God, iind
the idea entered her mind that if she sent
a.letter to God relief would follow. She
therefore got a pen, ink and paper and
wrote the letter asking for health for her
parents and bread for herself and broth
ers. Thinking that the poor box which
-he had seen in the church of St Beech
was the letter box of God, she took the
opportunity of stealing quietly out of the
room and running off to the church.—
While looking round <to see that no one
was near, an elderly lady noticed hei
movements, and thinking that she was at
mine mischief, stopped her and inquired
what she was doing. After some hesita
tion she confessed the object of her visit
to the church, and showed the letter." The.
Indy took it and promised the child that
-he would take care that it should reach
its destination, asking at the same time to
what address the answer must be sent,
which the child gave, and returned home
with a light heart. On the following
morning, on opening the door of the room,
she found a large basket filled with differ
ent articles of wearing apparel, sugar,
money, &c., the whole packed up with a
lirection card, on which was written
Answer of the good God.” Some hours
.liter a medical man also came; to give
idvice.
O' A Frenchman stopped a ■ lad in the
street to make inquiries of his wherea
bouts.
“ Mon fren, what is ze. name of zis
street ?”
“ Well, who said ’twan’t ?”
“ What you call zis street?”
“ O’course we do,”
“ Pardonnez ! I have not ze name vot
you call him.”
“ Yes. Watts we call it.”
“ How yon (all ze name of zis street?”
“ Watts street, I told yer.”
“ Zis street.”
“ Watts street old feller ; and don’t yer
go ter make game o’me.”
“ Sarce men du ! I ask you one, two,
tree several times, often, vill you tell me
ze name of ze dam street—eh!”
“ Watts street, I tole yer. Yer drunk,
han’t yer l i”
“ Mon leetle fren, vere you lif eh 1”
“ In Vandam street.”
“Eh bine! You Ihe in von dam 1
street, and ou is von dam fool—by dam!”
An Epitaph. —lt is stated that Tom
Moore, one night while stopping at an inn
in Scotland, was continually troubled by
the landlady with the request that he
would write her epitaph. Accordingly at
night he gave impromptu as follows:
“ Good Susan Blake, hi royal State,
Arrived at last kt; her Master’s gate,”
and promising to finish it in the
morning. The good lady was in trans
ports at the inscription, and treated Mr.
Moore with every possible attention. In
the morning he was about leaving, when
the lady reminded hint that he had not fin
ished the epitaph. “ That’s so,” said he,
and immediately added-
“But Peter met her with a club,
And knocked her back to Beelzebub!”
It is said that Mr, Moore’s horses were
in motion just as he had finished the last
line. s
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
THE WALLED i^TTK
The wonderful Walled is situated
in the centre part of Wright county, lowa.
I'he shape of the lake is oval. It is about
two miles in length and one wide, in the
widest part, comprising an area of some
2000 acres. The wall enclosing this area
is over six miles in length, and is built or
composed of stone varying in size from
boulders of two tons weight down to
unall pebbles, and is intermixed with
'•arth. The top of the wall is uniform in
height above the all parts, which
makes its height to vary on the land side
according to the unevenness of the coun
try from two to twelve feet in height. In
the highest part the wall measures from
ten to twelve feet thick at the base, and
irom four to six at the top, inclining each
way outward and inward There is no
outlet, but the lake frequently rises and
Sows over the wall. The lake at the
leepest part is about ten feet in depth, and
(bounds with large and fine fish, sucTT as
pike, pickeral, bass, perch, &c. The wa
ter is as clear as crystal, and there is no
bubbling or agitation to indifete any large
spring or feeders. Wild fowl of all kinds
ire plenty upon its bosom. At the north
end are two small groves of about ten
acres each, no timber being near. It has
the appearance of having been walled up°
by human hands, and i looks like a huge
fortress, yet there are no rocks in that vi
cinity for miles around. There are no
visible signs of the lake, being the, result of
vulcanic action; the be.l being perfectly
smooth and the border of regular form.
The lake is seventeen miles from Boon
river on the west, eight miles from the lowa
un the east, and about one hundred miles
from Cedar Rapids. It is one of the
greatest wonders of the West, and has al
ready been visited by hundreds of curios
ity seekers.
, Smart. — A gentleman, one evening,
\yas seated near a lovely woman, when
t|ie company around him were proposing
conundrums to each other. Turning to
liis companion, he said:
“ Why is a lady unlike a mirror V
“ gave it up.”
" Because,” said the rude fellow, “a mir
ror reflects without speaking, a lady speaks
without reflecting.”
“ And why are you unlike a mirror?”
asked the lady. He could not tell.—
Because a mirror is smooth and polished,
and you are rough and unpolished.”
The gentleman owned that there was
one lady who did not speak without re
flecting and casting reflections.
A Good Joke.—“ Now remember,”
said an officer to an Irish soldier, when
the Colonel asks you what battery you are
in tell him battery I. Now don't forget.
“No, be jabbers, I won’t forgit,” said
Pat. The Colonel met him a day or two
afterwards, and asked him what the Cap
tain told him to say, when, Pat stepped up
to the Colonel, and without saying a word,
gave him a blow in the eye. “What do
you mean T” shouted the Colonel, in no
good humor, on being struck by an Irish
soldier. “Faith, an’ the Captain tonld
ine to batter yer eye, if ye asked me sich
a question,” said the terrified Irishman,
fhe Colonel, of course, took the joke.
W" A story is told of a doctor in Ver
mont. The doctor kept missing his wood,
and set watch. As was expected, it
proved to be the work of a poor neighbor,
who soon appeared, and carefully culling
out all dry wood, started off with an arm
full. The doctor hastily gathered up an
arm-full of green wood and followed, tug
ging as fast as he could, and just as the
man threw down bis arm-full the doctor
lid the same, exclaiming: “There, you
must burn green wood part of the time; I
have to,” and departed, leaving the thief
ta his own reflections.
•
W" “My dear madam, can you give me
a glass of grog ?” asked a fatigued traveler
in Arkansas, as he entered a cabin on the
roadside.
“ I ain’t got a drop, stranger,” replied
the woman.
“ But a gentleman told me .that you
had a barrel”
“ Why, good gracious,” replied the wo
man, “ what do you reckon one barrel of
whiskey is to me and my w hen
we are out of milk 1” -
The traveler sloped.
Wet. the Powdeb.—Two Irishmen in
a recent engagement were gallantly stand
ing by their gun, tiring in quick succession,
when one touching the piece, noticed that
it was very hot.
•* Arrah! Mike, the cannon is gettin’
hot; we’d better stop firin’ a little.”
“Divil a bit,” replied Mike; “ jist dip
the cartridges in the river afore yees
an’ kape it cool.” c
‘‘Matchless misery,” is defined as
hanng a cigar, and nothing to light it
with.
thoughts are best; man wa«
Goffs first thought; woman his second.
NO. 44-