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UNDERSIGNED ANNOUk
he citoent <rfAlteon* end that b
rred a large inroicee of W; "
CONFBCTIONAKIM, HQXB,
a, or bla own
S, PRUNES, RAISINS, &C.
diUeilKUQotoftbe^ar.
as. Sugar, Molasses, gwr.
OOD WHITS WBS4T tioUH.
?IIKAT FLOUR, CORN MEAL, *CL
-■ and for «le in tvg« or anil qaentUiea.
11l- and price my etock end yon (SB tnd
cueapos any in hnrn.
•>.«•! JACOB WISH.
HEAT grjamON WHICH
tales the mind of exer*
» I get the be*t ArtE&lbr^feilß
p'pwdto other matters,, ttye
not attempt to direct, hot ifyon^^H
the line of ;
LK)TS OR SHOES _
ian examination of hi* Block and work,
urantlyonhand at. assortment ofßoot*,Sbo.‘»
ers, 4cm which he offer* at fikir price*.
Fp «|>ecial attention to custom work, all i>
warranted to give satisfaction. Nonelmtth
\ are employed
By abople on Virginia street, immediate!
kr*» Drug Store
i ’s7-tf]
.. FETTINGEE’S
JOHN B. EOEERTS
ral News igency,
-L, No. 7, MAIN STREET
BOOKS, BLANK BOOKS,
E RY, CONFECTJONABIKf
kRS & TOBACCO,
NOTIONSINGBJSATVABiBTV
CONBTASILY ON HANP
861.
SAL POLICE GAZETTE
Mt Journal of Crime soul Criminals ii is
me, . .and is vridaly
t contain* all the CnEml
wviate Editorial* pn;ttiMt><DS,tccsthet>h>>
Criminal Ibttai, sot to betoundlo «»j
ion* (3 per annnm: il l?* *lx mouths, to
übecriben, (who should write (Brirnsaiw
►only and B^trtl^^^.reailteylslul'
* Ptop’r.of
FECTXONERY
IYETEB SAIi6ON,
BSCRIBEK WOOID IN
cltiwsu of Altoona aodvlebslty that ti»
IV.JfCT and YBmt fTOIUyMI"!*
> very best tattelasloWSßClSftt «"•>
TER SAIsOON .
tort* Jo wb iclvif# op
ring tbe MAPoo.
PD BRM.W * PlXSatmatto**** 1 -
im prep*wd to
saloon is
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tMtt'hTWM
mmupt* Jm£g
nofttS* oMlttftfi
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; 'UArjfviffcJ?WWiWKOJfM^
ULS, Q 0&
jtcCBUM & DERN,
VOL- 7
the altoona tribune.
0 „„ H. C. DKKN.
B. *» fMWIIOM.
~«i<l " ,f
reiiMß or .
I insertion 2 do. •) do.
■ *B5 $ &'A t M
H *hoes)"" * 80 JO 100
L-q'""’ ioo iso »
IWO '■ % ■ 150 200 260
ieek.ood lew ttan three months. 25 cent.
~,r ,(|U«re lor e»oh jnsertlo"months. * months. 1 ye«.
~.*l6O $3OO $6OO
* 2 60 4 00 7 00
4 00 « 00 10 00
,4 Um«* or * e##
,Vue
Two
Three
four *' .10 00 14 00 20 00
Half » column 14 00 25 00 40 00
one column " j'viKoUiri Notice* 176
,\" r .Td«r‘S*io e by .be year. three *,««.,
5 00
line* wlth Vfi^ r ’ of P A -uaracteror Indiridnal m-
Comnm mentions o M the above rate*.
■rest will be eb‘ r » marked with the number of iu»er
(i ins will be continued till forbid and charged ac
cording to tbe above for eTery inßert km.
R^fDe^ t i°A l^ linea, fifty cent* a square
°Tlie Only Place Where a Cure Can
he Obtained. ■
of Ideas, rWP Giddiness, Disease of the; Head.
Jf“fs«eS®lMSStoSrthe Liver, L™ge,Btom-
Th Terrible diwrder. arieing tom the
of Youth—those secoist and solitary prac
" mnre fatal to their victims than the song of Syrens to
tlie S Ulysßes, blighting their meet £«Unt
hope Tor anticipations, rendering marriage ,kc., nnpossi
bV.
■ iii- tMhn the victims of Solitary "V ice,
ffllSifal wd doitmtlTO habit which annuallyjweopj
to ectaey the living lyre, may call
vitk fall confidence.
MARRIAGE
iUrriod Pereon., or Tounj; MOdxotemjtottaK
being a«»t« of physic*! weakness, organic debility, defer
mUo’who places'htos'ell under the care of Dr. J. may re
ligluusly confide in his honor as a gentleman, and confl
,an.ly rely uponhU^ijUs
and marriage impossible—is the penalty paid by the
victims of improper indulgences. , You "S P e T*Ue
~,t to commit excesses from not being aware of the dread
til consequences that may ensue. NdV,_who that under
stands the subject will pretend to deny that the power of
pSreation is lost sooner by those falling into »prop«
habits than by the prudent? Besides being deprived the
pleasures of healthy offspring, the most senons and de
structive symptoms to both body and mind arise. The
system becomes Deranged, the Physical and Mental I unc
lions Weakened, boss of Procreative Power, bervous 1m
lability, Dyspepsia, Palpitation of the Heart, Indigestion,
Constitutional Debility, a Wasting of the frame, Cough ,
Consumption, Decay and Death.
OFFICE. NO. 7 SOUTH FREDERICK STREET,
Left hand side going from Baltimore street, a few doors
from the corner. Fail not to;observe name and number.
Letters most be paid and contain a stamp. The Doc
tor’s Diplomas hang in his office _ w-%
A CURE WARRANTED IN TWO DAYS.
So Mercury or Niueonx Drugs .
OR. JOHNSON. , ~ _ ,
Member of the Royal College of Surgeons, Loudon, Grad
uate from one of the most eminent Colleges in the United |
States, and the greater part of whose life ha* been spent In
the hospitals of London,- Paris, Philadelphia and else
where, has effected some of the most astonishing cures
that were ©Ter known; many troubled with ringing in the
head and ears when asleep, great nervousness, being
alarmed at sudden ! sounds, bashfuloess, with frequent
blushing, attended sometimes with derangement of mind,
were cured immediately.
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTICE-
Dr. J. addresses all those who have Injured themselves
by improper indulgence and solitary habits, which rum
both body and mind, unfitting them for either business,
study, society or marriage. %
This* are some of the sad and melancholy effects pro
duced by early habits of youth, viz: Weakness of the
Back and Limbs, Pains In the Head, Dimness of Sight,
Loss ofMnScular Power, Palpitation of the Heart, l)ys*
- pepay, Nervous Irritability, Derangement of the Diges
tive Functions, General Debility, Symptoms of-Conaump
tlon, Ac. .* ■ ■ . .
XurtAlLT. —The fearful effects of the mind are much to
be dreaded—Loss of Memory, Confusion of Ideas, De
pression of spirits, Evil-Forebodings, Aversion to Society,
Self-Distrust, Love of Solitude, Timidity, Ac., are some of
the evils produced. . . .
Thousand of persons of all ages can now J udge what is
the cause of their declining health, losing their vigor, be
aming weak, pale, nervous and emaciated, having a sin
gular appearance about the eyes, cough and symptoms of
consumption.
. YOUNG MEN .
Who have injured themselves ft a certain practice in
dulged In when alone, a habit frequently *°*“
evil companions, 6'e it school,, the effects of which are
nightly felt, even when asleep, and if not cm»d renders
marriage Imposible, and destroys both mind and body,
should applylmmediately. . ~. . „
What a pity that a young man, the hope of bis country,
the darling of his parents, should be snatched from ail
prospects and enjoyments of life, by the consequence of
deviating from the path of nature, and indulging m a
certain secret habit. Such persons must, contem
plating
MARRIAGE,
reflect that a sound mind and body are the moat necessary
requisites to promote connubial happiness. Indeed, with
oat these, the journey through lift* becomes a weary pil
grimage; the prospect hourly darkens to the view ; the
mind becomes shadowed with despair and flUftd with toe
melancholy reflection that the happiness ot another be
comes blighted with oar own.
DISEASE OF IMPRUDENCE.
When the mbgnided and Imprudent rotarj of pleasure
tinds that he has imbibed the seeds of this painral dis
ease, it too often happens that an 111-timed sense of shame,
or dread of discovery, deters him from applying to those
who, from education and respectability, can alone be
friend him, delaying till the constitutional symptoms of
this horrid disease make their appearance, such as ulcera
ted sore nose, nocturnal pain ■ in the head
*od limbs, dimness of sight, deafness, nodes. on the shin
bones and anus* blotches on the head, free and
tiea, progressing with frigbtftil rapidity, tiU *t last the
palate of the mouth or the hones of the nose xall In, ana
the Tictim of this awftil disease becomes a horrid object of
commiseration, till death pnto a period tohlsdrcadfui
sufferings, by sending him to “ that Undiscovered Country
-from whence no traveller returns.” , 4 . ,
It la a melancholy fact .that thousands fall victims to
this terrible disease, owing to the unsklllftilness ofigno-
r ant pretenders, who, by the nse.ofthat Deadly
-k<rcttry, ruin the constitution and make the residue of
life miserable.
m STRANGERS -
Trust notyonr lives, or health totho c*re of the many
Unlearned and Worthies* Pretender®, destitute of knowl
edge, name or character, who copy Df. Johiii ton’s adver
tisements, or style themselves, In the newspapers, regu-
Urly Rdncated Physicians, incapable of Curing, they keep
yon trilling month after month, taking their filthy and
poisonous compounds, or a® long as the smallest fee caa
be obtained, and in despair, leave: you with ruined health
to sigh oyer your galling disappointment.
Dr. Johnston is the only Physician advertising.
His credential or diplomas always hang In hls officer-
His remedies or treatment are unknown to all others,
Jlm*
■ from • life spent in the great hoepitaUof Knrope.
the first to the country aud a more extensive Pritait Prac
tice than any other Physician in the world. . *
INDORSEMENT Of THE PRESS.
The many thoqsands cured at this institution, year lifter
Tear, and the numerous important Surgical operations
performed by Johnston, witnessed by the reporters of the
w*ni w *• Clipper,” and many other papett, notices of
Jhteh ha?o appeared again aud again before the public,
besides his standing as a gentlemen of character and re
sponsibility, la a sufficient guarantee to the afflicted.
SKIN DISEASES SPEEDILY CURED,
so letters revived qpless post-paid and containing a
stamp to be used on the reply Persons writing should state
age and send portion of advertisement describing symptoms.
Persops writing should be particular In directing their
letters to this Institution, in the following manner:
A , J 0 £ H JOMMSTOW*; M. 0..
Of the Baltimore T#och Hospital, Maryland.
BW?
600 800 :12 00
6 00 10 00 U 00
' fhoict fsrtrj.
NEVER SAY FAIL.
Keep putting—-’tie wiser
Then aittiug aalde,
And dreaming and sighing.
And waiting the tide:
In life’s earnest battle
They only prevail,
Who daily march onward
And never tay fail.
With an eye ever open,
And tongue that’s not dumb,
jlnd a heart that will never
To sorrow succumb,
you'll battle and conquer.
Though thousands assail;
Uow strung and bow mighty
Who never my fail.
Ahead, then, keep pushing.
And elbow your way,
Unheeding the envious,
Alt donkeys that bray:
All obstacles vanish,
All enemies quail,
In the midst of.'their wisdom
Who never say fait.
In life’s rosy morning,
In manhood's fair pride.
Let this be your motto
Your footsteps to guide;
In storm andin sunshine.
Whatever assail,
Weil onward and conquer.
And ruvtr say fatt.
fikct |||is«Uang.
AN ARAB WEDDING.
BV AN EYE WITNESS,
A few days afterwards, I was invited
to a wedding in the Sakhali family, Chris
tian Arabs of the Orthodox Greek com
munity.
At about eight o’clock A. M., I was led
into their church, a domed building, lighted
from above, and gaudy with highly col-
ored, distorted copies of ancient Byzantine
pictures; for the Greeks, though
lowed to have images to assist them in
their devotions, may have pictures, pro
vided they are not too lifelike.
In the centre of the crowd at a lectern,
stood a priest, and immediately before him
the bride, closely shrouded in a white iz
zar; a many colored muslin veil entirely
concealed her features.
The bridegroom by her side, who was
only seventeen, wore a suit of sky blue
cloth, edged with gold thread, and a hand
some crimson and white shaw girdle. He
had only once seen the face of the bride,
and that was six months before, on the
day of the betrothal.
The service was in Arabic, and rapidly
uttered in clear but monotonous tones. —
The most important part of it seemed to
be the Gospel narrative of the marriage
at Cana, in Galilee. While the priest
was reading it, bread and wine was handed
to the young man; he gave some to the
girl, who, in taking it, was very careful
not to expose her face.
Immediately afterwards, she held out
one of her henna-stained hands, and a
jeweled ring was placed on her finger. —
Two crowns, made of gilt foil, were
brought by the bridegroom’s man and
bride’s woman, and placed on the now
married pair, who joined hands,- and with
their two attendants walked round and
round in the midst of the people, who
made way for them, and sprinkled them
with rose water and other scents as they
passed, ringing, and shouting good wishes.
By the time the circuit had been made
seven times the veils of the bride and
bride’s woman were quite saturated; and
the two men submitted, without the slight
est resistance-, to liave bottles of scent
emptied on their tarbouches. AS the ex
citement increased, the sprinkling became
general, and I came in for my share. —
Thus ended the ceremony.
Presently the men formed into proces
sion, and, with the bridegroom in their
midst, walked out of church. A pipi
bearer, carrying a handsome chiboque,
was in attendance, and he handed it to the
bridegroom whenever the leader pausecK)
dance the sword dance, or to sing some ex
travagant love song. Bose water was
poured on his head from the roofs or win
dows of the houses under which he passed.
Etiquette required that he should look
calm and composed in the midst of the
noise and excitement.
In the meantime, the bride, with her
female attendants and companions all veiled
and shrouded in white, walked very slowly
towards home —the home of her child
hood ; for the was not to go forth to meet
the 'bridegroom till after sunset. I accom
panied her. We all carried our tapers,
although it was the third hour, t. e. about
nine o’clock, A. M.
We mounted a broad, covered stone
staircase, and, : passing through a cqrndor
entered a large, many windowed room.—
The bride was led to a sort of throne,
made of cushions and embroidered pillows,
and I was placed by her ride. Her white
izzar and veil were taken off; she was not
more than fourteen years old, with an oval
face, rather large lips, black, delicately
arched eyebrows. Her eyes were shut;
for custom makes it a point of honor for a
bride to keep them closed from the time
she leaves the church till the moment she
meets the bridegroom at night.
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, JULY 10, 1862.
She wore a purple velvet jacket, very
open in front, showing her crape shirt and
her chest, which were equally adorned
with little hits of leaf gold! Her neck
lace, or collar of gold coins, was very
beautiful; her skirt of white and yellow
silk almost concealed her full, yellow silk
drawers. Her hands and arms were
checkered with deep orange brown henna
stains, but what struck me more than all
was the glossy, shining lustre of her skin.
While I had been intently watching and
observing the bride, the company of wo
men had quite transformed themselves;
they had thrown off their white izzars and
veils, and now appeared in all the colors
of the rainbow, in all sorts of combina
tions. ■ Dancing and singing commenced.
The lookers on sat round on the matted
floor. Sweetmeats, fruit, creams, and va
rious dishes, were served at mid-day.
After sunset, the mother and female re
lations of the bride-groom came to fetch
the bride; and then she commenced crying
and 'wailing bitterly. This is expected ot
her, whether she feels regret or no, she
must show signs of sorrow on leaving her
home, and must appear unwilling to go
forth and meet the bridegroom.
On subsequent and persevering inquiry
among Arab ladies, I found out how it
was that the bride's face looked so lus
trous. I learned that girls are prepared
for marriage with a very great deal of
ceremony. There are women who make
the beautifying of brides their especial pro
fession!
A widow woman, named Angelina, is
the chief artiste in this department of art
in Haifa. She uses her scissors and
tweezers freely and skillfully to remove
superfluous hair, and trains the eye-brow
to an arched line, perfecting it with black
pigments. She prepares an adhesive
plaster of very strong, sweet gum, and
applies it by degrees sill over the body,
letting it remain on for a minute or more;
then she tears it off quickly, and brings
away with it all the soft down of hair,
leaving the akin quite bare, with an un
natural polished appearance, much ad
mired by Orientals. The face requires
very careful manipulation. When wo
men have once submitted to this process,
they look frightful, if from time to time
they do not repeat it; for 'the hair never
j grows so soft and fine again.
The edges of the eyelids are blackened I
thus: —A little instrument like a silver
bodkin is dipped in water, then into a I
bottle or box containing an impalpable
powder called kohl , made of antimony and
carefully s prepared soot; the blackened
point is diawn gently along between the
almost closed lids of his eyes. Poor peo
ple use soot alone, and apply it with pins
made of lignum vitas.
The arms and hands, legs and fpet, are
bandaged with narrow tape or braid, like
Bflndals crossing and recrossing each other,
then a paste made of moistened henna
powder (the pulverized leaves of the henna
tree—-Latnsonia) is spread and bound oyer
them, and allowed to remain on for sev
eral hours. When it is removed, the
skin is found deeply dyed wheAver the
tape (which is now unwound) did not pro
tect it; thus a sort of checkered pattern is
produced; and when it is artistically done
(as Angelina can do it) the feet look at a •
distance as if they were sandaled, and the
hands as if they were covered with mittens
of a bright orange or bronze color.
The Greek Catholic Church vainly pro
nounces anathemas, and threatens with
excommunication those women who tat
too themselves, and use kohl, and henna,
and rouge; they will persist in it while
they believe it adds beauty, and
to their powers of attrscttnn- The costly
articles of a genuine last a
lifetime, and are heirlooms. —Miss Rogers'
Domestic Life in Palestine.
An Obstinate Organ. —ln a small
church at a little village near Brighton,
where the congregation could not afford to
pay an organist, they recently -.bought a
self-acting organ, a compact instrument,
well suited to the .purpose, and constructed
to play forty different tunes. The sexton
had instructions how to set it gPing, and
how to stop it; but, unfortunately, he for
got ' the latter part of his business, and,
after singing the first four verses of a hymn
before the sermon, the organ could not be
stopped, and it continued playing two
verses more; them just as the clergyman
completed the words “ let us pray,” the
organ clicked and started a fresh tune. — I
The minister sat it out patiently, and then
renewed his introductory words, “let us
pray,” when dick went the organ again,
and started off on another tune. The sex
! ton and others continued their exertions to
f find out the spring, but no man could put
I a stop to it; so they got four of the stout
\ est men in the church to shoulder the per
-1 verse instrument, and they carried it dowm
the centre aisle of the church, playing
away, into the church-yard, where it con
tinued clicking and playing away until the
whole forty tunes were finished.
.0* A late writer thinks that much : CT-The old man looks down, and thinks
might >be gained, if speakers would observe iof the past; the young manlook»up,and
the miller’s creed ■■■ always tq shut the gate ! thinks of the future; the child looks every
when the grist is out. where, and thinks of nothing.
fINDEPENDENT IN EVEBTTHING.]
Miss Martineau contributes to the last
number of Macmillan's Magazine some re
minisences oLher conversations when in
America, in «135, with chief Justice Mar
shall and Mr. Madison, then the surviving
representatives of the old ideas of Vir
ginia. She says:
“When I knew the Chief Justice he
was eigthy-three—as bright-eyed and warm
hearted as ever, while as digriilied a judge
as ever filled the highest seat in the high
est court of any country. He said he had
seen Virginia die leading state for half his
life ; he had seen her become .the second,
and sink to be (I think) the fifth. Worse
than this, there was no arresting her de
cline if her citizens did not put an end to
slavery; and he saw no signs of any in
tention to do so, east of at
least. He had seen whole groups of es
tates, populous in his time, lapse into
waste. He had seen agriculture exchanged
for stock breeding, and he keenly felt the
degradation. The forest was returning
over the fine old estates, and the wild
creatures which had not been seen for gen
erations were reappearing; numbers and
wealth were declining, and education and
manners were degenerating; it would not
have surprised him to be told that on that
soil would , the main battles be fought when
the critical day would come which he fore
saw. '
To Mr. Madison despair was not easy.
He had a cheerful and sanguine temper,
and if there was one thing rather than
another winch he had learned to consider
secure, it was the Constitution which he
had so large a share in making. Yet he
told me that he was nearly in despair, and
had been quite so till the Colonization So
ciety arose. Rather than admit to him
self that the South must be laid waste by
a servile war, or the whole country by a
civil war, he strove to believe that mil
lions of negroes could be carried to Africa
and so got rid of. I need not speak of the
weakness of such a hope. What concerns
us now is that he saw and described to me,
when I was his guest, the dangers and
horrors of the state of society in which he
was living. He talked more of slavery
than of aS other subjects together, return
ing to it morning, , noon and night. He
said that the clergy perverted the Bible,
because it was altogether against slavery;;
that the colored population was increasing
faster than the white ; and that the state
of morals were such as barely permitted
society to exist. Of the issue of the con
flict, whenever it should occur, there could,
he said, be no doubt. A society burdened
with the slave systeij could make no per
manent resistance to an unencumbered en
emy ; and he was astounded at the fanati
cism which blinded some Southern men to
so clear a certainty.’ 1
Such was Mr. Madison’s opinion in
1835.
“It’s veev Haed.” —“lt’s very hard
to have nothing to eat but porridge, when
others have every sort of dainty,” mut
tered Charlie, as he sat with his wooden
bowl before him.’’
“ It’s very hal'd to get up so early on
these bitter cold mornings, and work, hard
all day, when others can enjoy themselves
without an hour of labor.”
JUUET MAETIHEAITS EEMIHI
SEHCEB OF VIBGIHIAHS.
“ It’s very hard to have to trudge along
through the snow, while others roll about
in their coaches.”
“ Jt’s a great blessing,” said his grand
mother, as she sat at her knitting, “ it’s a
great blessing to have a roof over one’s
head when so many are homdess; it’s a
great blessing to have sight and hearing,
and strength for daily labor, when so many
are blind, deaf, or suffering.”
“ Why, grandmother,” you seem to think
that nothing is hard,” said the boy, still in
a grumbling tone.
“No, Charlie, there is one thing that 1
think very hard.”
“What’s that?” cried Charlie, who
thought that at last his grandmother had
found soihe cause for complaint
“ Why, boy, I think, that heart is very
hard that is not thankful ior so many bless
ings.”
Riches of the Bible.—Book of books
is the Bible. It is a book of laws, to show
the right and wrong; it is a book of wis
dom, that makes the foolish wise ; it is a
book of truth which detects all human
errors; it is a book of life which shows
how to live. It is the most authentic and
entertaining history ever published; it i
contains the most remote antiquities, the
most remarkable events, wonderful occur
rences ;it is a complete code of laws; it
is a perfect body of divinity; it is an un
equaled narrative. It is a book of blog
) raphy; it is a book of voyages; it |s a
• book of travels; it is the best covenant
| ever signed; it is the school boy’s best in
■ structor; it is the ignorant man’s diction
' ary, and every man’s directory; it prom
i ises an eternal reward to tire faithful and
believing. L
A CASE OF PETTICOAT ESCOOBI-
TI6E.
Quilp, of the Boston Pott, tells a good
story of legislative fun in Vermont, nearly
forty years ago, during the session when
the famous Robert B. Bates (long since
deceased) was speaker of the House.—
Bates was, perhaps, the ablest jury lawyer
in the Green Mountain State, a man of ele
gant manners, and notorious for “gallant
ry,” as the word was understood in Eng
land in the reign of Charles 11., and in
France at all times since the invention of
Gallic morals. It happened daring the
session that a member introduced a bill
proposing some advancement or'; other to
“ Women’s Bights,” in response to a peti
tion numerously signed by the fair sex
one of the sisters being there to lobby for
the interests of the sisterhood. Bates, who
saw a capital chance for a bit of fun, came
down from the Speaker’s chair and pitched
into the petition with such comic force
that the house roared with laughter. The
“Queen of the Amazons” was naturally
angry, and the next morning sent to the
Speaker’s chair a package, by the hand of
an unsuspecting page, which was presently,
opened, disclosing to the view of the tit
tering spectators a red flannel petticoat!
It was a trying moment for Bates, and
only a man of great self-possession and a
fair share of wit could have escaped signal
discomfiture. Raising the garment aloft
in his right hand, and smiling complacent
ly, the Speaker spoke:—“Gentlemen, I
have received many flattering attentions
from the fair sex, but never before so
pleasing a compliment as this., It is in
deed a beautiful gift. And what enhances
the delicacy of the donation, the name ojf
the fair donor is concealed. Ah! the dar
ling, she knew that I would recognize the
petticoat!” It is unnecessary to say thp
terrible laugh was diverted to-the Ibbby
now, which had well nigh fallen on the
bead of the blushing speaker.
“ fix Keep ’Em Awakb.” —Near New
ark, N. J., lived a very pious family, whp
had taken an orphan boy to raise, who,
by the way, was rather underwitted. He
had imbibed very strict views on religious
matters, however, and onc^; asked his
adopted mother it she didn’t think it wrong
for the old farmers to come to church, and
fall asleep, paying no better regard to the
service. She replied she did. Accord
ingly before going to church the next
Sunday be filled his pockets with apples.
One bald-headed old man, who invariably
went to sleep during the sermon, particu
larly attracted his attention. Seeing him
at last nodding and giving nasal evidence
of being in the “land of dreams,” he hauled
off and took the astounded sleeper on the
top of his bald pate. The minister and
aroused congregation at once turned around
and gazed indignantly at the boy, who
merely said to the preacher, as he took an
other apple in his hand with a sober, hon
est expression of countenance: “You
preach, I’ll keep ’em awake!”
The Simple Secret.—Twenty clerks
in a store. Twenty young men in a vil
lage. All want to get along in the world,
and all expect to do so. One pf the clerks
will rise to be a partner, and make a for
tune. One of. the compositors will own a
newspaper, and become an influential and
prosperous citizen. One of the apprentices
will come to be a master-builder. One of
the villagers will get a farm and live like
a patriarch. But which is destined to be
the lucky individual ? Lucky! There is
no luck about it. The thing is almost as
certain as the Buie of Three. The young
fellow who will distance his competitors is
he who masters his business, who preserves
his integrity, who lives clearly and purely,
who never gets in debt, who gains friends
by deserving them, and puts his money into
a saving-bank. There are some ways to
fortune that look shorter than this o}d
dusty highway. Bitthe stajmwh men of
the community, the men who achieve some
thing really worth having—good fortune,
good name and a serene old age—all go
this road-
•9*“Dad” said a hopeful sprig, “how
many fowls are there on thai table ?”
“ Why, said the old gentleman, as he
looked complacently upon a pair of finely
roasted chickens that were smoking on
the dinner-table; “ why my son, there are
two.”
“Two!” replied young smartness,
“ there are three, sir, and I’ll prove it”
“Three?” replied the p}d gentleman,
who was a plain matter-of-fact man, and
understood things as he saw. them. “I’d
like to have you prove that”
“Easily done, sir, easily done! Ain’t
that one,” laying his knife upon the first 1
“Yes that’s certain,” said his dad.
“And ain’t that two?” pointing to the
i second, “and don’t one and two added to
i getber make three?”
; “ Really,” said the father, turning to
the old lady, who was Qsteiung in aston
ishment to the immense learning of lui
son, “ really, wife this boy is a genius an<
, deserves to be encouraged! for it J|««
old Wy, dp you tpkq me Cowl, and I? 1.
tako the second, and John may have the
1 tiiird ifor his learning.”
EDITORS AND
THE RTVERi*P*BATH.
A correspondent 1 the San Francisco
Bulletin gives the fallowing curious state*
meats in a letter ftam the region ofHum
bolt river:
We have three several climates in this
region of country. FirsVinthepfakias,
whereinthe summer,the heat is unread t
ting and intense. For flvetedions months
scarce a breath ofwind' sdrsthe - atmos
phere, while the iun, oominguplifce shall
of red hot iron,. glares fiercely from its
rising to itsgoingdown. The water, only
to be found at long intervals, is little bet*
ter than poison; being so saline and acrid as
to cause serious injury to the system, in
creasing the thirst rather than allaying it,
while many places are infested with awanns
of noxious flies that torment the traveller
by day, and myriads of mosquitoes by
night In travelling along the Lower
Hmnbolt all theseevlls are to .exist
in an aggravated form. A more uninvi
ting country, or'more-execrable stream,
certainly does not exist on .the. {ace of the
earth. Some pne, appalled by its terrors,
has.aptly called it the River of Death;
better still, in view, of Us infoisal Charac
teristics, had they natped it PhkgCthon—
the River of Hell. 3 Dark, sullen and.tur
bid its bitter waters crawl, tathe? .than
flow through its winding .and gutter o *!
channel, like the filthy outpourings ofsome
great sewer. Unlike all other waters* in
stead of invigorating and refreshing, seems
to blight everything upon which it falls.
The broken vebides and dryhonm jeat
' tered all along its banks, attest that not
without reason has it received the fearful
1 1 baptism of the River of Death.
Escape op a Yankee Spx.—We Are
informed, says the Richmond Whig, ftf the
18th, that the paragraph from this Peters
burg Express, relative to a Yankee spy
having been seen in this city, copied by
us yesterday, is true, except that the place
at which he was seen was the Exchange)
instead of the American, and in the parlor
instead of life the dinner table. His name
is Dennison. At Washington City be was
Seward’s chief detective. He was recog
nized by the little daughter of Mrs. Greey
how, who was instructed by her soother,
while in Washington, to make herself fa
miliar with the faces of such characters.
The shrewd Yankee, it seems, recognized
the little girl, at the same time that she
discovered him, and when she ran to give
the intelligence to her mother, he disap
peared. This fellow is remarkable for his
cleverness and cunning, and has, np doubt,
ere this, put McClellan in possession of
much that he desired to know. The event
should be an admonition to our own detect
ives and guards—-and to the people gener
ally. Let all he on the qui wee, and let
every person who has the least atmosphere
of doubt about him be required to gWB an
account of himself. \ ■
, Becipe fok MjjasGTxCTiJaLi~Tiske
a handful of the vine xaQledGadhtkrat, the
same quantity of the
tongue, a sprig of the' herb 'called‘‘Back
bite, a few Bowers of the roy hiißm
shrub called 1-heatd, a of
Don’t-you-tell-it, six drachms Of Malice,
a few drops of Envy—which cto be had
cheap at the shops ofMise Tabitfaa ’ Tea
table and Miss Nancy Nigbt-Walfeer.—
Stir them well together,spiee witba little
Says-she, and simmer them for half an
hour over the fife of Discontent, kindled
with a little Jealousy, then strain through
the rag of misconstruction andcOfkupin
the bottle of Malevolence, hang; it upon a
thread of Street-yarn, shake it ppcasion
ally for a.few days, and it will thenne fit
for use. Let a few drops be .taken just
before walking out, or when competing
company, and the subject wQI be enabled
to speak all manner of evil, and that con
tinually.
(ET A wag passing a livery stable one
day, in-ffoht of which several lean hones
were tied, stopped suddenly, and;ga«d at
than for some time with a phiz
the utmost astonishment, and then asked
the owner, who was standing near, if he
made hones.
“ Make horses l”_fiaid the knight of the
bar-room and curry-comb; “nol why do
you ask such a question 1” ,
“ Only,” relied he, “ because I observe
you have seven! frames set npl”
(jf The following verse contains every
etter in the Engtteb alphabet, except E.
It is a question whether any other English
rhyme, of as many words, can be compost
without using the letter £, which is em
plpypd much inore frequently than {any
other: '
Ai<xfM * Bta »
And pic ih tmej’t night,
Toqidxte TStB, for H» Wat plain
Ant vbst Hay i» right.
“ Did yon eyergp to anfilharyball 1”
asked a lisping maid of aq <s3 vrtgah.
“ No, my dour,” growled thp gpliMPer,
“in those days I onceljada urititsiy ball
come to me, and what do yh ftilli it
took py teg o£”
|prThe right man in tits righlflaee—
a fiW»and at bome in the evenfcg '
NO. 28. .