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liu**
[die squat*
SK.'SSc''
rThe Only Place Where a Cure Can
I xn y be Obtained. ,
Itmi JOHNSON has oiscovered the
involuntary Snguor, Low Spirits. Confn.ion
»rTou»n»* a > Heart Timidity* Trembling*.
\ tb ° ££
D,moe« " r Bigui OII * of the hirer, Lnnge,Btom-
Tbmt ’ n N Terribb' disorder. arUlng from the
“* or Bo» e , Youth—those sioeet end solitary prac-
Sohtsry it Tictinlß than the nong of Syren. to
[ fatal t blichlinp their moat brilliant
I fc - ini -T-
’ ■ young men
•it «,),/, hftvf* become tli« victims of Solitary V tee.
which annually sweeps
that of y Men of the most
to an untune yg brilliant intellect, who might other*
" tale«t*«j with the thunders
riAu'nee" “ «ked to ectasy the living lyre, .nay call
with full confidence.
marriage
1 or Young Moil cotempUting marriago,
, oM&l£&»-. organic debility, defor
"‘nV’who uuder the care of Dr. J, may re-
JL Jy«. fide i« hi-honor a. a gentleman, and coufl.
SSSSS^wstkl
SgSSSSH^S*
taaTtte aabiect will pretend to deay that tho power of
poSfeation i. lost sooner by those falling into improper
habits than by the prudent! Besides being deprived tho
nleasurea of healthy offspring, the most serious and
C” symptom, to both body and mind amt. The
system becomes Deranged, the Physical and Mental Func
tions Weakened. Loss of Procreative Power, Nervous Irri
tability, Dyspepsia Palpitation of the Heart. Indigestion,
SmsHtutional Debility, a Wasting of the Frame, Cough,
Consumption, Decay and Death. r
OFFICE, NO. 1 SOUTH FREDERICK STREET,
Left hand aide going from Baltimore street, a few doors
from the corner. Fail not tojobserve name and number.
Utters must bo paid and coptam a stamp. The Doc
lor's-Diplomas hang in his office
A CURE WARRANTED IN TWO DAYS.
jVb Mercury or Nuseons Drug*.
DR. JOHNSON. t - _ ,
Member of the Royal College of Surgeon*. London, Grad
uate from one of the most eminent College* In the United
States, and the greater part of whose life has been spent In
the hospitals of London. Pari*, Philadelphia and else
where. has effected some of the moat astonishing cures
that wore ever .known; many troubled with ringing in the I
head and oar* when asleep, great nervousness, being
alarmed at sadden sounds, bashfalness. with frequent
blushing, attended sometimes with derangement of mind,
were cured immediately.
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTICE-
Dr. J. addresses all those who have Injured themselves
by improper indulgence and solitary habits, which ruin
both body audmind, unfitting them for either business.
Htudy, society or marriage. x . A
Tqksz are some of the sad and melancholy effects pro
duced by early habits of youth, via: Weakness of the
Back and Limbs, Pains in the Head, Dimness of Sight,
Los* of Muscular Power, Palpitation of tho Heart, Dys
n*psy, Ketvous Irritability, Derangement of the' Diges
tive Functions, General Debility, Symptoms of Conaump
MaktaUT.—-The fearful effects of the mind are much to j
be dreaded—Loss of Memory, Confusion of Ideas, De
prewton of spirits, Rvil-Forebodings, Aversion to Society,
Self-Distrust, Love of Solitude, Timidity, Ac., are some of
the eviU produced. , . . . . .
ThootaßM of persons of all ages can now j udge what is
the cause <if their declining health, losing their vigor, be
coming weak, pale, nervous and emaciated, having a sin
gular appearance abcut the eyes, cough and symptoms of
consumption
YOUNG MEN , .
Who have Injured themselves by a certain practice in
dulged in when alone, a habit frequently learned from
evil companions, or at school, the effect* of which are
nightly felt, even when asleep, and if not cured render*
marriage imposlble, and destroys both mind and body,
should apply Immediately. ,
What a pity that a young roan, the hope of his country ,
the darling of his parents, should be snatched from all
prospects and enjoyments of life, by the consequence o
deviating from the path of nature, and indulging In a
certain secret habit. Such persons MUST, before contem
plating
MARRiAdEi
reflect that a sound mind and body arc the most
requisites to promote connubial happiness. Indeed, with-*
out these,, the journey through life become* a weary pH
grimace; the prospect hourly darken* to,lho«vlew; the
mind becomes shadowed with despair and filled with the
melancholy reflection that tho happiness ot another be
come* blighted with our own.
' DISEASE OF IMPRUDENCE.
When the misguided and Imprudent votary P*. e ®*'?T e
hod* that he has imbibed the seeds of this painful dis
ease, It too often happens tliat an ill-timed sense of shame;
or dread of discovery, detershlm from applying te tno*e
who, from education and respectability, can alone be
friend him, delaying tUI the constitutional symptom of
this horrid disease make their appearance, sach as ulcera
ted sore throat, diseased nose, nocturnal pain sin thejiead .
and limb*, dimness of sight, deafness, node* on the thin
bone* and arms, blotches on the head, face and extomt
twa, progressing with' frightful rapidity, till at t last the
palate of the mouth or the hones of the nose fall in, ana
the Tictim of th i* awful' a horrid object of
commiseration, till death puts a period to his dreadful
sufferings,by sending him to “that Undiscovered Country
from whence no traveller returns.” - ’
It is a metancAoJtf fact that thousands fall victltos.to
tbU terrible disease, owing to the unsklUfulness ofigno
rsnt pretenders, who, by the nse of that Deadly
Jfrrcury. ruin the constitution and make the residue of
1 ife miserable.
STRANGERS , .
Trust not year lives, or health to the care ofthejnnnv
Unlearned and Worthless Pretenders, destitute of knowi
‘-’P'vnanu* or character, who copy Dr. Johnston’s adver
tisements, or style themselves, lit the newspapers,- regu
larly Educated Physicians, incapable of Curing, they keep
you trilling month after month, taking their filthy and
poisonous compounds, or ns long as the smallest ice can
he obtained, and in despair, leave y«o with mined health
to sigh over your galling disappointment.
Or. Johnston is the only Physician advertising.
Hij credential or diplomas always hang in his office.
HU remedies or treatment are unknown to all others,
prepared from a life spent in the great hospitals of Knrope.
the first in the country and a more extensive Private Prac~
rtw than any other Physician in the world.
INDORSEMENT OP THE PRESS.
The many thousand* cured at tills Institution. yedr after
year, and the numerous important Surgical operations
Performed by Johnston, witnessed by the reporters of the
“Sun, 1 ’ ‘•Clipper,” and many other papers, notices of
which have appeared again and again before the public,
besides his standing as a gentlemen of character 'and re
sponsibility, is a snjßcient guarantee to the afflicted. v
SKIN DISEASES SPEEDILY CURED,
No letters received unless poet-paid and containing a
stamp to be used on the reply Persons writing should state
age andeeod portion of advertisement describing symptoms.
Parsons writ lug should be particular in directing their
letters to thW Institution, In the following manner:
JOHN M. JOHNSTON, M. 0.,
Of the Baltimore Loot Hospital, Maryland.
m-
WLvd
GA#-
ANP
®kou«
H. C. IIKRfJ
“LIST OF THE KILLED."
Mothers who alt In dumb terror «nd dread,
Holding th»t terrible Hat. ■'
Fearing to look leaet you aee niKl the dead
The name of the boy you have kiaaed— .
Kieaed e’en aa thoae in aagniahnd pain.,
Kias preciona lacee of clay.
E’en aa yon wonld had you ahuddering lain.
That dear one in grace- robea away. ,
I pity you, sitting with (acea aa white. ,
Striving to parry the blow;
I know how that name will t >nnre your eight.
Can fathom the depth of yoiir; woe.
By the pang that rent my deftohu* heart.
By this crushing weight of detpair,
I know how you too will shudder and start.
Reading that dear-lored name* there. ■„
I know you’ll hush that passlouate cry,
Thinking of him as he lies, ;
With beautiful face upturned :to the «ky.
Death Telling the glorious eyes.
“ Fighting he fell I” Does a feeling of pridt*
Lighten your grief as you think.
How brave was the boy that went from your side—
How be wonld not falter or shrink ?
The mothers’s love triumphs. Men call women weak,
Ah, well, perhaps it is so! ; i
I know there are tears e’en now on my cheek
For the boy thatV lying so low.
I know that I atari at each ate? on the stair.
With a wistful glance turn toward the door.
Thinking, perchance, that my darling is there—
Peace, heart, h* can come ueTormore.
But still there’s a thought that rovers my woe—
Above there’s a glorified list:
And one day I’ll hear with rapturous glow
.The name of the boy I have kissed.
JflMt HMsceUang.
THE WISSAHIKOH CLIFF.
Therk are days in Winter when the air
is very soft and balmy, like the early days
of Summer;,when, in fact, that glad mai
den May seems to blow her warm breath
in the grim face of February, until the
rough old warrior laughs again.
It was on a day like this .that the morn
ing sunshine was streaming over a high
rock, that frowns there, far above the
Wissahikon.
A high rock, attainable only by a long,
winding path fenced in by the trunks of
giant pines, whose boughs, in the coldest
days of winter, form a canopy overhead.
This rock is covered with a Carpet of
evergreen moss. And' near this nook -
this chamber in the forest, for it was noth
ino' less—sat an old man, separated from
it by trunks of the pipes, whose boughs
concealed his form: ; '
That old man had come here alone, to
think over his two sons, now freezing at
Valley Forge—for though the father was
a Tory, yet his children were Continent
als. He was a well-meaning man, but
some half crazy idea about the divine right
of the British Pope, George the Third, to
rule this continent, and murder and burn
as he pleased, lurked in his brain, and kept
him back from the. camp of Washington.
And now, in this bright morning in
February, he hadepme here alone to think ■
the matter over.
And while he was pondering this deep
matter over, whether George the Pope or
Gebrge the Rebel was in the right, he
heard the tramp of a war-steed not far off,
and looking between the trunks of the
pines, he saw a man of noble presence dis
mount from his grey horse and then ad
vance into the quiet nooks of moss-covered
rocks, encircled by: giant pipes.
And now, leaving the tory to look upon
this man for himself, let us look also on
him with our own eyes.
As he comes through those thick boughs,
you behold a man more than six feet high,
with kingly form enveloped in a coarse,
grey overcoat, a chapeau on his bold fore
head—and beneath the skirts of that grey
coat you may see the military boots and
the end of the scabbard.
An<l who is this man of kingly present*,
who comes here alone, to pace this moss
covered rock with drooped head and folded
arms?
Come my friends, and look upon him—
let me show you—not this figure of mist
and frost-work, which some historians have
called Washington—but Washington, the
living, throbbing flesh apd blood Washing
ton. ° Yes, Washington , the man. Look
upon him as he paces that moss-covered
rock—see that*eye burp; that muscular
chest heave under the folded arms.
* Ah, ha is flunking of Valley Forge!—
Of the bloody foot-prints in the snow—of
those three hidden figures that sat down
in the huts of Valley Forge together
disease, and starvation, and nakedness.
Look as those dark thoughts crowd on
his soul, he falls on his knees, he prays the
God of heaven to take his life as an offer
ing for his native land. * And as that pray
er startles the still woods, that grey coat
Mis open and discloses the blue gold uni
form—the epaulette and the sword hilb
Then the agony ,of that man, praying
there in the silent woods —praying for his
country, now bleeding in her chains—
speaks out, in the flashing of the eye, in
the beaded sweat, dripping from his brow.
Ah, kings df the world, planning so
BY OEOKGE IJHTAIU).
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 29, 1862
cooly your schemes of murder, come here
and look for George Washington, as he
offers his life a sacrifice for his country.
Ah; George of England, British Tope,
and good-natured idiot that you are, now
counting in yonr royal halls how many
more men it will take to murder a few
thousand peaceful farmers, and make a
nation drink your tea, come here to this
rock of the Wissahikon, and see, king and
pope as you are, George W ashington in
council with his God.
My friend?, I can never think of that
man in the wilds of Wissahikon —praying
there alone, —praying for his country,
with the deep agony in his brow—with
out also thinking of that dark night in
Gethsemane, when the blood drops started
from the brow of Jesus, the blessed Re
deemer, as he plead for the salvation of the
world.
Now look! As Washington kneels
there on that moss-covered rock, from
those green boughs steps forth another
form-tail as his own— —c}ad in a coarse
grey coat, with the boots and
seen below its skirts, and a chapeau on his
brow. , x
That stranger emerges from the boughs,
stands there unperceived, gazing in silence
upon the kneeling warrior.
A moment passes!
Look! Washington has risen to his
feet: he confronts the stranger.
Now, as that stranger, with a slight
bow, uncovered his forehead, tell me did
you ever see a stronger or >a stranger re
semblance between two men than between
these two, who now confront each
in silence under the shade of those^Kirk
pines?
And as these two men, so strangely alike,
meet there by accident under that canopy
of boughs—one wandering from Valley
Forge, one from Philadelphia —let me tell
you'at once, that the stranger is none other
than the master-butcher of the idiot king —
Sir William Howe.
Yes, there they met —the one the im
personification of Freedom, the other the
tinselled lacquey of a Tyrant’s will.
We listened to their conversation : it is
brief, but important.
For a moment the British general stood
spell-bound before the man whom he had
crossed the ocean to entrap and bring home,
the 4-ebel who had lifted his hand against
the right divine of the British pope ! fo
that British general there was something
aw ful about the soldier who could talk
with his God as Washington had talked a
moment ago. .
‘‘J cannot be mistaken I” at last said
Sir William Howe ; “I behold before me
the chieftain of the rebel army, Mr. Wash
ington.” r-
Washington coldly bowed his head.
“Then this is a happy hour, for we to
gether can give peace and freedom to this
land.”
'At this word, Washington started with
surprise, advanced a step, and then ex
claimed:
“And who, sir, are you, that thus bold
ly promises peace and freedom to my coun
try?”
“The commander of His Majesty’s for
ces in America!” said Howe, advancing
along the wood-hidden rock toward Wash
ington. “And oh, sir, let me tell you that
the king, my master, has heard of your
I virtues, which alone dignify the revolt with
the name of a war, and it is to you hclooka
for the termination of this most disastrous
contest.”
Thai Washington, whose pulse had
never quickened before all the panoply of
British arms, felt his heart flutter in his
bosom as that great boon was before his
eyes—.peace and freedom to his native
land! •
“Yes,” continued Howe, advancing an
other step, “my king looks to you for the i
termination of this unnatural war. Let
rebellion once be crushed; let the royal
name be finally established by your influ
ences, and then behold the gratitude of
King George to Washington L”
As he spoke he placed in the hands of
Washington a massive parchment—sealed
with the broad seal of England, apd signed
with the name of King George.
Washington took the parchment—open
ed it —read—his face did not change a
muscle.
And yet the parchment named Mr.
George Washington “George Duke
Washington of Mount Vernon, our
well-beloved servant, Viceroy of Amer
ica !”
A live Yankee, from the Green Moun
tains of Vermont, visited the city of Lon
don. While passing through one of the
principal thoroughfares of trade and travel,
his attention was suddenly arrested by
some beautiful specimens of writing-paper,
exposed for sale at a shop window. See
ing the proprietor of the establishment
standing at the door, the Yankee civilly
inquired of him what he did with “ them
nice bits of paper.” /
“ We keep them to tie up gape seed in,”
said the cockney, snappishly.
“O. ye du—du ye!” said Jonathan,
while he looked as though he was invent
ing a trick with which he intended to pay
off the impertinent cockney in his own
coin. ■ Passing down the street a few steps,
our indignant Yankee saw another mer
chant, who was not only an Englishman,
but a gentleman also.
“I say. mister, can yon tell me what
that feller does for a livin’ what keeps
them ere nice bits of paper at the window.”
“ Yes, sir; he is a small dealer in paper,
and a sort of scribe. He writes letters for
those persons who desire his assistance.”
“ I reckon he is a very mall dealer, and
that he is & pharisee as well as a scribe.—
De ye think he’d write a letter for me if I
pay him for it 1 ?”
“ Certainly he will and jump at the
chanee. That is his principal occupation.”
The Yankee thrust his hands (I might
add arms) into his pockets almost up to
his elbows, for he felt-the sting in the
waspish words uttered by the paper dealer,
and walked back to the shop where he
had been so rudely treated. '
“.I say, mister, they say as how you sell
paper and write letters for folks what can’t
write. What will ye lax to write a letter
to my sister Sally V'
Here was a boon for the Virginia plan- ■ “ I shall charge you five shillings, re
ter —here was a title and here a power for i plied the Englishman, softening his tone as
the young man, who was one day strug- ; his government does • since it has heard of
gling for his life away there amid floating 1 our great victories.
ice on the dark Allegheny river. “ Will ye write jest what I tell ye, and
For a moment the face of Washington i spell the words right, as we do in Var
waa buried in the parchment, and then, in ; mount”?” inquired the Yankee,
a low, deep voice he spoke: “To be sure I will. I understand my
‘T have been thinking” he said, “of the business perfectly.”
ten thousand brave men who have been “Wellll don’t care if ye du; I guess
massacred in this quarrel. I have been you may write to Sally.”
thinking of the dead of Bunker Hill, Lex- The Londoner procured pen, ink and
ington, Quebec, Trenton, yes the dead of paper, and the Yankee commenced dicta-
Saratoga, Bjandywsne, Germantown—” ting_after the following style: !.
“And,” cried Howe, starting forward, “ ‘ Dear sister Sally,’
“you will put an end to this unhappy , “ Hcv you got that down ?”
quarrel!*’ ' “Yes.”
“And your king,” continued Washing- “ ■ ’Rived in London last week.’
INDEPENDENT IN EVERYTHING.]
ton, with a look and tone that would have
cut into a heart of marble, “would have
me barter the bones of the dead for a rib
bon and a title!”
And then, while Howe shrunk cower
ing back, that Virginia planter, Washing
ton, crushing that parchment into the sod
with his warrior boot—yes,' trampled that
royal name into one mass of rags and
dust :
“That is my answer to your King.”
And then he- stood with. scorn on his
brow and in his eye, his outstretched arm
pointing at that minion of King George.
Wasn’t that a picture for the pencil of
an angel ? And now the British general,
recovering from his first emotion, grew red
as His uniform with rage.
“Your head,” he gasped, clencning his
hand, “your head will yet redden the trai
tor’s block!”
Then Washington’s hand sought his
sword; then his fierce spirit awoke within
him, it was his first impulse to strike the
braggart into the dust. But in a moment
he grew calm.
“Yours is a good and great king,” he
said in his usual stem tone. “At first he
determined to Sweep a whole continent
with but five thousand men, but he soon
finds that five thousand men must swell to
twenty-five thousand before he can even
begin his work of murder. ■ Then he sac
rifices ’his own subjects by thousands —and
butchers peaceful farmers bv tens of thou
sands—and yet his march of victory is not
even begun. Then, if he conquers the
capital city of the continent, victory is
sure! Behold! the city is in his grasp,
yet still the hosts of freedom defy him,
even from the haunts of Valley Forge!—
And now, as a last resource your king
comes to a man whose head yesterday was
sought, with a high reward to grace the
gates of London. And yet that rebel
crushes into atoms the name of such a
king!”.
Ah, never spaniel skulked from the kick
of his master as that General Howe cring
ed away from the presence of Washington
—mounted his horse —was gone!
One word with regard to the ancient
tor)-, who beheld this scene from yonder
bushes with alternate wonder, admiration
and fear. That tory went home.
“I have seen General Washington at
prayer,” he said to his wife. “The man
’ who can trample upon the name of a king
-as he did—pray to God as he prayed—
that man can not be a rebel or a bad man.
To-morrow I will join my sons at Valley
Forge!” ~
A LIVE YANKEE IN LONDON,
BY GEORGE W. BUNGAY
“ Hev ye got that down and spelt right?"
“ Yes—igo on.”
“ ‘ Thought I’d go into the country and
take a ride.’
“ Got that down right?”
“Yes, yes -go on; and don’t detain
me so.” >
‘I pay yc five shillings, don’t I, by arid
bv?”
“Yes, yes—but you need not detain me
so.”
“ That’s my business and not yourn.
Wal the old mare baulked.’
“ Baulked is a hard word; can you spell
baulked so that Sally will know what it
means?” . ;
“ To be sure I dan.”
“ Wal I don’t care ef ye du.”
She wouldn’t go, so I licked her.’
“Well go on.”
“ • Licked her, licked her,-licked her.’ ”
“What is the use of saying it so many
limes?”
“None of yer business. I pay you five
shillings—‘licked her, licked her, licked
her, licked her, licked her, licked her,’”
“ This page is full of licked tier's.”
“ Turn over ■ then; ‘ licked her, licked
her, licked her, licked her, licked her. —
She wouldn’t go then, so I got out and I
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her, kicked
her, kicked her, kicked her.’”
“You are not intending ’to say,that as
many times as you said licked her.”
“None of your business. I pay you
five shillings: ‘kicked her, kicked her,
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her. She
wouldn’t go then, so I sharpened the end
of the whip handle, and T pricked her,
pricked her, pricked her, pricked her,
pricked her.’” i
“I cannot see any sense in alLthis.”
“ Never you mind, I pay you for what
you do; ‘licked her, kicked her, pricked
her, licked her, kicked her, pricked her,
kicked her, kicked her, pricked her, iicked
her, kicked her. licked her, kicked her,
pricked her. She would not go then, so
1 got* in and I’” (here the Yankee
made a chirrupping noise with his lipS
which bids defiance to orthography.)
“ r cannot spell that,” said the English
man.
“O, ye can’t spell that, ha? Wal, ye
needn’t write any more for me, if ye can’t
spell that.”
“ Need not write any more,” said the
cockney with a look of astonishment.
“No more,” said the Yankee, perfectly
composed.
“ Not a word to close with ?”
“ Nary a word;” i
“You will pay me for what I have
written ?”
“Not a red. You didn’t write down
all I told you tu.”
“Well, sir, what am Ito do with all
this paper I have spoiled?”
“ Keep it to tie up gape seed in.”
The correspondent of the London Times,
who has made so many false predictions
may now have his paper for a similar pur
pose.
Funny Breach of Promise; Case. —-
The Pittsburgh Dispatch , of the 21st inst.,
tells the following:—A jolly Isishman,
whose name we will not mention, was
waited upon yesterday by one of the Sher
iff’s officers, had a capias exhibited to him,
and a short time subsequent foupd himself
in prison, not being able to find bail for his
appearance at the District Court, at a
certain date to answer a marriageable fe
male in a suit for breach of promise. The
matter, however, was amicably arranged,
by the plaintiff and defendant being made
“ one flesh” in the jail office, a Catholic
clergyman performing the ceremony in due
form. ; 4 ;
The defendant told the following story,
in substance: Some time ago he was at a
pa-arty, and in the midst of the hilarity of
the evening a clergyman appeared collect
ing money for religious or charitable pur
poses. Addressing the defendant on the
object of his visit, he received a reply about
as follows:—
Sure ’un if ye marry me I’ll give ten
dollars.
Reverend—Certainly; where is the lady ’
Guest —The nearest one tq me. (To
whom he hail been paying close intention
during the evening.) f
Reverend—l’ll announce the banns on
Sabbath next.
The ten dollars' were givenj the matter
dropped for the evening, and the next day
was forgotten entirely, at least by one of
the parties. Judge of the jolly Irishman’s
surprise, yesterday, when the Sheriff’s offi
cer waited upon him with a capias to
answer for breach of promise, the suitor
being the damsel who sat nearest him on
i the evening of the pa-arty, and during his
I colloquy with the reverend gcntlennan.
(3* A young lady who had lately gave
an order to a milliner for a bonnet, said:
“ You are to make 1 it plain, apd at the
same time smart, as I sit in a conspicuous
place in church.” -I
fa-The ladies may hot go much upon
the higways, but they are complained of
by their hiribandsas being yery much ad
dicted to buy-ways. '• ; |
THE KIH6 Alfl) THE 80UHSR.
Frederick of Prnsia had a groat maina
for enlisting gigantic soldiers into the
Royal Guards, and paid an enormous
bounty to his recruiting officers for getting
them. One day the recruiting sergeant
chanced to espy a Hibernian who was at
least seven feet high; he accosted him^ in
English and proposed that ho should enlist-
The idea of military life and a large
so delighted Patrick that he immediately
consented. 1
‘•But,” said the sergeant, “ nnle» you
can speak German, the king will not give
you so much.”
“ Och, be jabers,” said the Irishman,
“ shure it’s I that don’t know a word of
German.”
“ But,” said the sergeant, “ three words
will be sufficient, and these you can learn
in a short time. The king, knows every
man in the Guards. As soon as he. sees
you he will ride up and a* you how old
| you are; you will say, twenty-seven; next
how long have you been in the service,
you must reply three weeks, finallyi if you
are provided with clothes and rations, you
answer both/*
Pat soon learned to pronounce his an
swers, but never dreamed of learning ques
tions. In three weeks he appeared before
the king in review. His majesty rode up
to him. Paddy stepped forward with pre
sent arms.
“ How old are you V’ said the king.
“Three weeks,” said the Irishman.
“How long have you been in the ser
vice,” asked his majesty,
“ Twenty-seven years.”
“Am I or you a fooll” roared the
king. , _ .
“ Both,” who was instantly taken to the
guard house, but pardoned by the king
when he understood the facts of the case.
PEOVERBS OF AIL EATIQEB
- is no better looking-glass than a
faithful friend. , .
The worst of the law is that one suit
breeds a score. '
The abuse of riches is worse than -the
want of them.
The blood of the soldier makes the glory
of the general.
To whom you betray your secret you
give your liberty.
The head and feet keep warm, the rest
take no harm.
Trade and commerce are universally
cheating by general consent.
Try your friend with a falsehood ; if he
keep it, toll him the truth.
What good can it do an ass to be called
a lion. _ . \
Wolves sometimes loose their teeth, but
not their nature.
Wise men learn by others’ harm —fools
by their own.
Whoever is servant to the fox must
bear up his tail.
Where the hedge is lowest men gen
erally leap over. ' .
Where every one takes care of himselt
care is taken by all. ,
When good cheer is lacking, our mends
will be packing.
Who practice not virtue in youth can
not fly sin in old age.
Worlds are nothing but wind, but see
ing is believing. .
When a proud man bears another
praised he thinks himself injured.
Oriental Wit.— A young man, ©Wg »
journey, entrusted a hundred demon to an
old m*"- When he came back the old
man denied having had any money depos
ited with him, and he was hauled up be
fore the Khazee.
“ Where were you yopng man when you
delivered this money ?”
“ Under a tree.”
“ Take my seal an summons that tree,”
said the Judge. “ Go, young paan, and
tell the tree to come hither, and the tree
will obey yOu when you show it my seal.”
The young man went in wonder. Af
ter he had gone some time the Khazee
sajd to the old man—
“He is long. Do you think he haagot
there yeti” . '
“No,” said the old man, “it is at some
distance. He has not got there yet.
“How knowest thou, old man,” cried
the Khazee, “where that tree is?”
The young man returned and said the
tree would not come. ■
“He has been here, yonng man, and
given his evidence. The money & thine.”
Dixie-dom IK Tfcefwnd* cor
respondent of the London Star wp • Vr.
and Mrs. Slidell are personally well receiv
ed irt private circles, and not received at all
in the official world. Their manners are
considered pleasing,, and their dhnters are
aU that they should be. Bntstjll they are
regarded as the representative of a fdave
aristocrat*— a thing that foe , highest
breeding and the best cook in thevrprw
would not get over in the
they win round to thmr cause.;-j™o *n
mates of the United
on the other hand, p»cee#igjy ferfamate
' in representing a popular cause, and hav
ing thn name tha
I restating it worthily.
\
t
♦
WA
•PRIETORS.
NO. 17.