I’S
/ ■;
; ioi<ierv
r MmnlOueg, pa/ '
»«hie» z d., ofejto
wOompmlm, Jm Kmi
all-eon tiefl|B(lß
uuUp a»y be
.rioted, paged and *£!!!,.
f*> Attorney* aad j!?2?*o
d rnlerltoi»-der. tfiSlft
U»to. *«,
od bound to order 1S?* 0
■npeper. ' ' vo *aty
rasss^arKs
lP^^sssS
fe^Kssaa?
d I*M htodto.^tS 1 ?-'*
lMetu^rsu°m,r
-« price*. Penua*
Fillrecelre •
o UB from b
tod to our cere wOI bs
end returned by
» f.x. rttrStß^
tile Trihme Odtee. **. „
tty. Therwmdrotogff
nd reoeiye end retro* boST.
il who enUast theirirerCt.
[Mtoehia,iggy>
CQ £ : ' i
. ; K>. o S w
a-..* HH a « *
Isa si»
►*«i
w I
g' t l s s|
S 2 sill
<j o j S'Si
ss I |g|»
O § 5 5
grfl9||
HiiH
lit
g||S||
rf^il
} BAKERY !
NED ANNOUN-
Tidal* U* h.
UKS,.NDTS, SPICRB
>«***-for the Hsliditn.
» gtxxl utock of pkfci
infilctnro.
raisins, &c,
tln>.y««r.
Molasses, Batter,
WHEAT ELOftik,
CORN MKAL, 4C.,
irge or mull aoutUta.
stock &nd y« wffltod
)WO,
JACOB WIBB.
ISTION WfIJCH
f cTorjr '
article for rayWß
itton, tfae
Kt, hot if jou
lEB -
r hi* stock »jkl work.
sMttßMitbfßnitLabMi
ffent at flUr vriem. •
1 to eotitom k work, ali o
Btto&ajcgi. Nooebatth
•trod, Immediate!
JOHN H. ROBXKIB.
ENT IN COOK-
2>D OAS JJfD SATIXQ
t offering to the (AUi
: CONStMIITO
which tadetUaeffton
ly, qntekly
ot gtt Mritm tram cua
coanmd arttttuo-
i eager of tit arciljß
ar tfao nmyligtetri ty
►vet an invited to tell e»
Mtaooto TeSSe^e*
ms sßomHia^
tent far Slnir CMMS-;
* rlac w^Sr
[GEE’S r
s- Agency,
1 HOUSE.
.ANK BOOKS,
eotionaiukb
>BAQCO,
JREUerVABIETT
■ turn. '■■■■'
S GAZETTE
m end OrtattoW*! 8
Gnat Trial*, Ortw*W
[.til#
not to bt fttpi IMW
; $1 fcr
oaU write (MfWJ*
art fottot Qwttrtft
srtw Tmk atf .
S.—THJB 49*-
.
9 to order*
ioe#, QdtK SL
u2Ma«4f vFzSS*-.
tfjgoßMble ,$•»».: ~fr •.
j.
msCfL&mi
tamomaee ob S'**
EOaftßOMfe'
-oa£,::;€st
: ■
(Elic Altoona (EriUtme.
McCRIJM & BERN,
VOL. 7.
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
f H. McCRUM, U. C, DBBN,
PUBLISHERS AND PROPRIZtOBS.
;vr nunom, (payable invariably in advance,) $1,60.
\il paper* dincontinued at the expiration of the time
for
rKUMM or advcrtisihg.
1 insertion 2 do. 3 do.
Kuitr lines or les **6 ) SSO
iSS ,iS. 1“
mee • (M “ )•• 1 60 200 260
over three weeks and less than three months, 26 cents
uer square for each insertion. •
v ' 3 months. 6 months. 1 year.
Sr:r.SSSS ‘5!! •«
T" .i 400 600 10 00
™ ree o soo soo 12 oo
.. ■ 6 00 10 00 14 00
Inlfß column.'. 10 00 14 00 20 00
One column MOO. *8 00 40 00
Administrators and Executors Notices
Merchants advertising by the year, three squares,
with liberty to change,
Professional or Business Cards, not exceeding a
lines-with paper, per year....
CommnnlcatioDs of a poUtical oaracteror indirldual in
terest will be charged according to the above rates.
Advertisemen s not marked with the number of inser
tions desired, will bo contlnned till forbid and charged ac
firdinc ««> the above terms.
Business notices five cents per line for every insertion..
OMtnpry notices exceeding ten linen, fifty cents a square
TRIBUNE DIRECTORY.
CHURCHES, MINISTERS, AC.
PRESBYTERIAN—Rev. Banks, Pastor—Preaching
. very Sabbath morning at IX o'clock, uud in the evening
lit T uVlock. Prayer Meeting in tho Lecture Room every
Wcdiiwlay evening at 7 o’clock. Sabbath School in same
roi.m al yC$ o'clock in the morning.
METHODIST EPISCOPAL—Rev. W, Lee Spotswood.
pastor.—Preaching every Sabbath morning at 11 o’clock,
ami iii the evening at 7 o’clock. Prayer Meeting in the
Uclure Room every Wednesday evening at 7 o’clock.—
Sabbath School in the same room nt 2 o'clock P. M.
EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN—Kev. C. L. Ehrenfeld.
P.citor.—Preaching every Sabbath morning at 11 o’clock,
uml in the evening at 7 o’clock. Prayer Meetinp-iu the
Lecture Room every Wednesday evening at 7 o’clock.—
S.il'Lath School in name room at 9 o’clock A. M.
BAPTIST—Rev. A. It. Sexbower, Pastor.—Preaching
\ltv Sabbath morning at IX o’clock, and in the eveuingat
• ~,vWk. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening at
;,/cluck. Sabbath School at 9 o’cbick A. M. - '
UNITED URETHKEN—Rev. tSAXUEL Kephart. Pastor.
Preaching every Sabbath morning at 11 o’clock, and in Che
■ v-niugat 7 o’clock. Prayer the Lecture Room
.-v«-ry Wednesday evening at 7 o’clock, Sabbafn School in
thf same room at 9 o’clock in the morning.
PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL—(No regular Pastor.) —
Pit acliiug on Sabbath morning at 11 o’clock, and in the
t-vi-iiiiig at 7 ./clock -"Prayer Meeting every Wednesday
• veiling at 7 o’clock. Sabbath School at 9 o’clock A. M.
ENGLISH CATHOLIC—Rev. Jons Tvicci, Pastor—Di
vine services every Sabbath morning at o’clock uud
in the afternoon.at J o’clock. Sabbath School at 2 o’clock
in tho afternoon.
GERMAN CATHOLIC—Rev. : , Pastor.
—Divine services every Sabbath morning al 10J4 o’clock,
and in the afternoon at 3 o’clock. Sabbath School pt I
i.rluck In tho afternoon.
AFRICAN METHODIST—Ucv. Alexander Johnston,
Pastor.—Preaching every Fourth Sabbath in each month.
Prayer Meeting every Friday evening at 7 o’clock. Sab
bath School at 2 o’clock in the afternoon.
RAIL ROAD SCHEDULE.
OX AND AFTER MONDAY, JAN. 27, 18G2. TRAINS
will arrive at and leave Altoona Station a« follows:
Train East arrives P.M.,
M JVest - 8,20 A. M.
Fust \ 44 East “ 7,40 A.M.
“ West ;* 8,55 P. M.,
Gail East “ XUSO A. M.,
“ West “ 3,15 P.M.,
Tl.e UOLUDAifSSUBS BRANCH couuecls with Ex
press Train West, and Past Line and Mail Train East and
West.
INDIANA BRANCH TRAINS connect with Mail train
and Johnstown Accommodation East and West, Express
Went, ami with Local Freights.
ENOCH LEWIS, Gen'l Supt .
‘MAILS CLOSE AND OPEN.
MAILS CLOSE.
Eastern Way
Western Way.......
UoUitlaysburg.....
Western Through.
Eastern Through.
MAILS ARRIVE.
8.15 A. M. *ll 15 A.M.
SIOA..M.
8 20 “
ll 22 A. M,
1 65 P. 51,
H»ili«lay*burg
Western Through
bistera Through
ffwtern.Way ......
Eastern Way
uf«ck Uocm:—During the week, from 6 45 a. m. til
' (W p, m. On Sunday*, from 7 45 till 9 00 a. m
•* GKO. W. PATTON P. 51
MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS.
MOUNTAIN-LODGE, No. 381. A. Y. M.. meets on second
Tuesday Of each month, at 7Vi o’clock P. M, in the third
story of tho .Masonic Temple.
MOUNTAIN R. A. CHAPTER, No. 189 R. A. C., meets
"it the first Thursday of each month, *t o’clock P. M.,
m »a_me room as above.
MOUNTAIN COUNCIL, No, 9; on the
first Monday of each month, at o’clock P. M. t in same
r‘' i n» as above.
MOUNTAIN COHJIANDERY, No. 10, K. T. meets on
f- ie fourth Tuesday of each month, at I% o’clockP.M.,
115 room ag above.
ALTOONA LODGE, No. 473, I. O. of 0. F.». meets every
t nday evening, at 7*4 o’clock. In the second story of the
Jla«c»Dic Temple.
' EKANDA LODGE, No. 532, I. 0. of O. V., meets every •
iiitwlay evening, at 7U o’clock, in third story of Patton’s
Budding, on Virginia street. *
WI NNEBAGO TRIBE, No: 35, I/O. R. M., meets every
u- sday evening in the second story of Masonic Temple.
Luimnl ftre kindled at 7th run 30tb breath. <
ALI»H>NA DIVISION, No. 311, 8. of T~ meets every',
■ -uiinhy tuning, at 7 o’clock,- in the second story of the*
Masonic Trmpht. /
„ STATE OFFICERS.
wrrrmr —Andrew 0. Cnrtin.
Vrrrtar, „f »,ir«_EH Sllfer. ■
■W"rn'S Grnentl— William M. Meredith.
-tuadM- Grutral —Thomas E. Cocliran.
L - Wright.
MjiUanl ftncml-E. M. Biddle.
■Mair Irrasiirv —Henry D. Moore.
' BLA >» COUNTY OFFICERS.
'Prwident Jndge, Hon George Trt-
SlZ Samuel Dean, Adam Moses.
,^± ,ator -Ho". Lewis W. Hall.
'/. ' Banks.
£S^7w An * hon y s - K "««-
ShtHff S’* Hugh A. Caldwell.
hidri,T‘u?‘ McCamant. Deputy—John Marks.
i,“X ftorntj-llenjamin L. flewß.
Jamej M Goorgo *■• Cow,ln - George Koon,
Trmti? aTr '?? r ~' ,n,UM I* flwin.
/W w ~ John M eKeage.
I inraajf Ttctor *—Peter Good, William Bnrley, David
a S; 1 “ d, ' , ' , ’~ A -' M -f lo y d > HoHt.M.Meaalmar, L.L.
fr?7*- J . Freeman.
pmnUndfnt of Common School*— John Mitchell.
, Altoona borCuch officers.
a '^w!*n]uSw* COb M - eh(>r, 7' John McClelland.
I Dov^rit'oI A- A ' DanielXanghman, John Mc
&• J-n re rw c oosko ii k oBte,ter ’ *•j
*'Ar^r^~ D “ W Baughman.
Sfe^ggsgnU! a - Hneman -
K. Ely. StaU ’ °* ni yi -Borough and School lit*—Jos.
MCCOnniCk -
A,“j?* °r ,~ flu>oll Hesser. J.L.Beifanyder.
I ./ V «w«ow-Ba.t Wanl—William Maloney.
! “ « L - pl P er -
WaS^^?n~ Chri *i Un dirtier.
* wUt 2"“*'**» Hooper.
“ Wanl—J. .K'. Heilman, Robe. ntßairna.
Sorth Ward— Kebt. j^Vcondo.
10 00
The lawyer’s experience, as given below,
is; not a singular one, qnd some of ouf
readers, no doubt, have abundant reasons
for sympathy with him in bis troubles.—
The difficulty is, experience in such a case
does not always bring wisdotn
, I had a wife and three small children.
My office was in Boston, and wo lived in
an adjoining town. I needed the exercise
of: riding, and a drive now and then, to
ward evening, with my family, would be
good for us all. We,had .formerly lived
in the country, where everybody keeps
horses, and a horse seemed really necessary
to our comfort, and so I determined to buy
one. I had owned several horses in my
dajr, and knew something lof horse-flesh,
and I had been engaged in. several horse
cases in court, and of course I knew, as
every man of observation knows, that
horses are a dangerous commodity to deal
in. Being, however, forewarned, and be
ing a lawyer. I felt no apprehension that I
could not look pretty well after one side of
the bargain.
Before trying to buy an article, I always
make up my mind exactly what I want.—
Then I .am not misled by every foolish
leaves 9,56 P. M
” 8,40 A.M*
“ 7.55 A.M,
“ 9,10 P.M,
*• 12.05 P. M
44 3,30 P.M*
ll 00 A.M.
8 00 “
8 00 A. M. k 11 00 A. M.
7 00 P. M
7OO «
minister, when 1 lived in the country, tell
the only horse-jockey in the parish that
he,wanted just such a horse, and I heard
the jockey’s irreverent reply, “Why, you
old fool, there ain’t no such boss.” Yet I
had heard of such animals, and seen them
advertised, and if I had not happened to
see one that .exactly answered the descip
tioh, it was probably because I had not
been looking particularly after him.
When it became known that 1 was in
want of a horse, it was really amusing to
see the attempts made to deceive me.—
They evidently thought I was a green hand
at the business, and that I was a fit,sub
ject for any imposition.
One fine-looking animal was brought
me, that to a careless observer, would have
seemed nearly perfection. He had a slight
cough, but the owner assured me it was
nothing, only a cold the horse had taken
the day before, by standing in a draught.
He could not deceive me. I had owned a
horse with the heaves , years ago, and ad
vised. him to take his worthless beast to
somebody who did not know so much
about horses. Another would have suited
me exactly, but he had several scars on his
legs, caused, as the dealer said, by break
ing ;’th rough thestable floor. I inquired a
little, and ascertained that he had taken
fright, upset the carriage, and gone home,
two miles, on the dead run, 'with the for
ward wheels, into his stall, carrying with
him a hay-cutter and a grind-stone that
stood on the floor, and so had cut himself
.to pieces trying to kick away the frag
ments.
Another had au interfering strap On his
ankle, having lately been badly shod. I
saw through that poor falsehood at once.
I think I should have bought of one
deader whom I knew, and who assured me
he would not for the world deceive me,
had not the singular animal exhibited the
Moke foettj.
Prom ise Atlantic Monthly.
THE SOUTHERN CROSS.
Deem not the ravished glory thine;
Nor think the flig shall ecathleM wave
Whereon thou bkld’st its prestige shine, —
Land of the traitor and the slave!
Ood never set that holy sign
~L— In deathless light among His stars
To make its blazonry divine
A scutcheon for thine Unpioat wars I
And surely as the Wrong moet taU
Before the everlasting Bight,
So snrely thy device shall pale
And shrivel in the Northern light!
Look, where its coming splendors stream I
The red and white athwart the blue,-
While far above, the imconquered giom
Of Freedom’s stars is biasing through!
Hark to the rustle and the sweep,
Like sound of mighty wings unfurled,
And bearing down the sapphire steep
Heaven’s hosts to help tho imperilled world!
Light in the North! Bach bristling lance
Of steely sheen a promise bears;
And all the midnight where they glance
A rosy flush of morning wears!
Yon symbol' of your Southern sky
Shall surely mean but grief and loss
Then tremble, as ye raise on high,
In sacrilege, the Southern Cross!
0 brothers! we entreat in pain.
Take ye the unblessed emblem down!
Or purge year standard of ite stain,
And join it with the-Northern Crown!
Mtltfi IfpMdlXKI.
A HORSE BOUGHT,
•AND
A LAWYER SOLD.
UV A COCNBW.LOE AT LAW.
fancy, as one is liable to be who looks
through the market for something that
suits him.
-The horse I would buy must be a good
saddle-horse, , a pacer or ambler under-the
saddle, but of course a square trotter in
harness. He must he young and sound,
of handsome, sprightly figure, kind as a
kitten, never needing the Whip, but yet
safe for my wife to drive, not afraid of the
engine, fast or slow at the driver’s elec
tion. To be sure, I had ones heard our
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 13, 1862.
j unfortunate eccentricity of standing on
his fore legs exclusively at intervals, when
I attempted to ride him outward from the
stable, owing probably to a defective ner
vous organization.
I determined to have no more to do
with dealers, but to keep a . sharp lookout
for myself, and when I found the right,
kind of an animal,'to buy him, even if X
had to pay a high price.
Walking one afternoon from Cambridge
to Somerville, I rested for a moment by
the hawthorn hedge at the foot of Kirk
land street, and looking back, I beheld a
beautiful .black horse, surmounted by an
elderly cadaverous gentlemen, who had
somewhat the ■ air of a clergyman. The
horse was moving at an easy, ambling
pace, scarcely faster than a walk, the rein
kinging loosely ph his neck, while the
rider was,serenely:reading a newspaper.—
In the language of the free-love woman to
“ Artemus Ward at Berlin Hites,” I men
tally exclaimed, “I have found him at
last.’’ I accosted the traveller, and pass
ing by the details of our conversation, it
is sufficient to say that the animal was
everything that could be desired, and al
though it would well nigh break the hearts
of the owner’s family to part with hiTn ;
he could be bought for the moderate sum
of two hundred and fifty dollars.
It may be interesting to the reader, al
though Somewhat premature, to learn Vhat
I afterwards discovered, that the owner’s
“family” consisted of one bull-terrier pup
which slept with him in a stable-loft every
night
I met the owner, by appointment, next
day, at my office in Boston. He had been
employed, he said, as travelling agent of
a Boston house, and had no father use for
the horse; he would give me a written
warranty of the animal as perfectly sound
and kind; I might take him home a week
and try him, and see for myself. Nothing
could be fairer than this. I took my prize
to my own stable. .' I kept him full a week.
I rode him and droye him daily; my wife
rode him and drove him ; my man Barney
rode him and drove him. My admiration
of him increased. He was to all appear
ance sound and kind. He was fast or slow
as I choose to have him. • He would face
the cars without winking, and stand with
out tying. In short, he was a perfect
horse. - At the end of the week I paid the
price, took a written warranty, and went
home rejoicing in my success. Every
horse should have a name, and we conclu
ded" to call this ope, on account of his many
good qualities, Honesty. For a few days
I was engaged constantly in a long trial in
court. The horse stood still in the stable,
well fed and well groomed, so as to be in
the best condition for use when my leisure
days should come. Barney said one day
that he harnessed Honesty to the wagon to
bring some oats from foe store, and that
he refused for some time to start from the
yard. However;* Barney was no horse
man, and I thought that the fault was in
his awkwardness in handling the reins.—
A day or two later, my wife’s brother
took her with the children out for a drive
with Honesty, in the carryall, and she re
ported that the animal insisted on going
upßeacon street, instead of Tremont street,
where they wanted to go. This did not seem
exactly right, but still I had full faith that
Honesty would prove all right when I
held the reins.
Finally,- my trial: in .court was finished,
and there was to be a- picnic near Fresh
Pond, where all my : friends were going.—
I had bought a new light top-buggy, and
harness to match, and wife and I drove up.
Honesty was in high feather, and made
the new carriage spin along like a linen
wheel. We passed the afternoon in the
woods, and when our carriage was brought
up for our return, everybody was attracted
by our elegant turn-out. I confess I felt
not a little pleased with this universal ap
preciation of my taste. I don’t know why
it is, but everybody considers a. compli
ment to his horse as fully equivalent to one
to himself. We bode adieu to our ad
miring friends; I handed my wife into the
carriage, gathered up the ribbons, and
waved my hand by way of parting saluta
tion. Honesty pawed, but did not move
forward. I chirruped and shook the reins.
Honesty shook his head, and gave a sig
nificant snort. A friend took him by his
bit, when he stepped rapidly backward, till
the new buggy brought up against a tree.
I touched Mm with the whip, when he
reared and snorted, and my wife screamed.
“Don’t wMp him,” cried a friend; “wMp
pinjg never does any good to a contrary
horse.”
“ He is an offender, I see by jiis actions,”
said another.
The details of the exhibition are not
agreeable to dwell upon. Neither coaxing,
whipping or pushing could induce that
beast to .even draw the empty carriage out
of its tracks. I asked a' friend to take my
wife home, and leaving my elegant car
riage, ignominiously led tlie obstinate brute
to a stable near by* and left him for the
night.
“ A sadder and a wiser man I rose the
morrow mom." I persevered with Hon
esty yet a while, but after being kept two
hours by his stopping in a rainy night on
Cambridge bridge, on one occasion, and
[independent in everything, j
I being obliged to leave him in the stable
yard, when in great haste, to meet an en
gagement at Lexington, I reluctantly con
cluded that he was not perfectly Umi
My wife had long since declined further
experiments with him. I ; was puzzled
whether to admit myself duped and cheated,
or attempt to cure the defect. I rode the
beast occasionally, and sometimes drove
him, with various successes. One day I
had business at Concord, at the county
court, and with a friend drove into that
beautiful village just at sunset Court had
just adjourned for the day and my brother
lawyers, and clients,, and jurors, and wit
nesses, were lounging about .the hotel and
the old elm on the common, i Just as we
came in front of the Middlesex Hotel, I
observed my horse suddenly to falter;
throwing up his head, and jerking it side
ways in a manner remarkable to see,
seemed quite bewildered. “He has a fit
Jump out or you will get hurt,” cried the
multitude, which at once surrounded us.
My friend -obeyed the call, and I at
tempted to dp so, just as the distracted
beast sallied backward over the shaft, and
“Mortham, steed and rider felh” Down
we came in one miscellaneous' heap, the
carriage essentially smashed, and his owner
vexed and discomfitted. A few days
proved that Honesty was subject to . fre
quent attacks of this kind.
But had I not a warranty, and am I not
a lawyer 1 Straightway I commenced an
action for deceit.' It is a proverb at the
bar, that a lawyer who tries his own case
has a fool for hi? client. I retained and
paid counsel. I summoned and paid wit
nesses ; consulted and paid Dr. Dadd and
other experts. The case was tried, and
all Middlesex county was made to under
stand how a lawyer had been cheated by
a jockey. The jury rendered a verdict in
my favor for one hundred and twenty-five
dollars damages, probably upon the idea
that a lawyer ought not recover more than
half that he is cheated out of. I gave my
execution to an officer, with orders to ar
rest the rascal, and told my counsel to op
pose him at every step, and follow him to
the end of the law.
, After a few months my attorney sent
for me, and gave me the result of follow
mg my directions., The defendent had
been committed to jail, where he had qui
etly remained several weeks, apparently
happy in the consciousness that by the
beneficient provisions erf our laws, I, his
creditor, was paying one dollar and sev
enty-five cents for his board. Then he
had given notice of his intention to avail
himself of a further benificent provision of
our statutes by taking the poor debtors
oath. My counsel had faithfully obeyed
instructions, and opposed him there, pay
ing for me, according to law, two dollars
per day to the commissioner, while the ex
amination was pending. Finally, the vag
abond had succeeded in swearing out, and
my various bills amounted to about the
amount I had first paid, two hundred and
fifty dollars.
The enemy was free, but I was not. 1
still had that “ dreadful horse,” worse than
Mr. Pickwick’s, that nobody would take
away. A neighboring horsestealer offered
me fifty dollars, and I sold him and took
his note for the amount. A few days af
ter, I asked him what he had done with
him. He said he had advertised him to
sell at a horse sale in the city. I had a
rational curiosity to see the advertisement,
and asked him to show it to me, which he
did, and it ran as follows: “ Black Saddle
Horse. A particularly fineblack saddle
horse, perfectly sound and kind in all re
spects, and free from tricks.”
I don’t know how much he got for Ms
fine saddle-horse. I only know that I
still hold his wort Mess note for fifty dol
lars.—American Stock Journal.
•3" The Sierra Democrat relates the fol
lowing: A suit for divorce was commenced
in the upper district of Downieville.
The Deputy Sheriff served a summons
on the defendant—a case clearly proved de
sertion. Our colored friend rolled up bis
eyes as he looked at the summons, and
said:
“ What’s dis?” -
“ It’s a summons,” replied the Sheriff,
“Your wife has commenced suit for di
vorce, and she claims the young ones and
the house.”
“ Well,” said our colored friendf “cus
tom’s h*w. Got to stand it. Dem chil
dren she can have. Never claimed ’em
no how; one belongs to Dick, de buck
saw man, and de other to Jackson de bar
ber ; but de house is mine—l paid for de
house and I’s gwine to hold on to it.”
W A Patlander, in travelling on his
way to Manchester, New Hampshire, ar
rived at the fork of the road where there
stood a sign-board, which ran thus, “Man
chester, four miles.” “Man chased her
four miles!” cried Pat. “Be the bouly
•poker, X oould have caught hermeseif in
half the 'time!”
A. Painful Situation In Portland a
horse put his foot {{trough a lady’s hoop
skirt, and to extricate it three men were
required to hold the horse and two to hold
the lady.
BOXED TUSKET.
Geo. Coleman and myself were chums
and as a natural consequence, roomed to
gether. George possessed a fine spirit for
fun, and when an opportunity offered
whereby he could outwit the faculy or the
overwaichful tutors, he was sure to'im
prove it
One' cold rainy evening towards the
latter part of December, George and myself
were snugly esconced in our little room on
the third floor of the college building.—
Both of us had been for the last two hours
deeply engaged in study. Now, our stud
ies being fully learned, we threw aside our
books and sat gazing vacantly at the fire.
Presently, George arose, and after pacing
up and down the room several times, ex
claimed aloud—
“ I have it! Now for some fun.”
He thereupon seated himself in front of
me, as thought-some matter of great impor
tance was to be dinnifinfd
“Lew,” paid he, “ what do you say to
having some roast turkey?”
I replied that it would be very accepta
ble; and wished to be informed how we
were to procure the article in question.
“ Why, easy enough,” he replied. “ All
you,have to do is to follow my directions
and the turkey will be forthcoming.
He then bade me remain until fie re
turned. Putting on his hat and coat he
left the room. He soon returned, however,
and from beneath his overcoat produced a
fine plump turkey, all dressed ready for
cooking, procured by some mysterious
means. He sat about the task of being
chief cock, tying a thin wire to the neck
of the fowl, and then suspending it like
Mohammed’s coffin, between Heaven
earth, from the mantle shelf, thereby imi
itating the old custom of cooking.
All things had progressed very well, so
for, and the savory smell arising from the
now nearly cooked turkey, served to in
crease our appetite, and our mouths wa
tered at the sight. It was now done and
ready to be served, when we were Startled
by a loud knock, at the door. i
George hastily caught up our bird, and
raising the window, Jet it down gently by
the wire; jthen making the wire fast, he
softly closed the 'window and resumed his
studies, while I waited on the door, which'
I opened, and there before me : stood one
of my tutors. He said he called to see if
our room needed any repairing; and of
course we invited him to enter, which he
did.
He said he always took a deep interest
in the personal welfare of the students,
and he thought perhaps our closet wanted
repairing—thereupon locking in it. He
next looked under foe bed to see if we
needed any carpet there; also in the! bed,
to see if more covering were essential to
our comfort. But on finding all right he
seated himself in a chair and wanted to
know if foe culinary department hsd been
moved to foe upper part of foe building,
as he smelt the fumes of cooking Vefy
plainly. We made what excoto we could;
and after remaining, in all, about an hour
and a half, he took his leave.
George immediately raised the window,
and hauled up the wire on which oilr even
ing meal had been suspended. Judge of
our chagrin and astonishment when we
beheld, instead of the turkey, only the
bones fastened to the wire, and a paper
accompanying them, on which was written,
“ That was mighty good! send us another.
The joke of it was, we had hung it
against the Window of the room below
ours, and the inmates seeing it dangling
down, appropriated it to their own use.—
Long after that we were known as the
cooks.
A SoLpiEE.— Miss Nightingale tells the
following: I remember a sergeantwho was
on picket, the rest of the picket being
killed, and himself battered about the head,
he stumbled back to camp, and on his way
picked up a wounded man, and brought
him in on his shoulders to the lines, where
he fell down insensible. When, after many
hours, he recovered his senses—l believe
after trepanning, his first words were to
ask after his comrade:—“ls he alive?”
“ Comrade, indeed! yes, he’s alive; it is
the General.” At that moment the Gen
eral, though badly wounded, appeared at
the bedside. “Oh, General, it’s you, is it
Ibroughtin? I’m so glad. I didn’t know
your honor; but if Pd known it was you,
I’d saved you all the same.” This is the
true soldier’s grit.
Element of Success. —He who is open,
without levity; generous without waste,
secret without craft, humble, without
meanness; bold, without insolence; cautions,
without anxiety; regular, yet not formal ;
mild, yet not timid; firm, yet not tyran
nical ; —is made to pass the ordeal of honor,
friendship and virtue. *
W The last dog story is of two dogs
who fen to fighting ha a saw mill- In file
course of the tassel one of the dogs went
phnhp against a saw in rapid motion,
which cut' hipi in two ipstanter.. Thje
hind legs ran away, but the fore' lees ocm
tinned the fight, and whipped the ofhdr
dog. ■ '
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
lwag at a diootbagmatdi, for a beef,
down in Illinois, several. jean ago, «ad at
met a knowing character, naaedßill
French, pill used to fool the bore a apod
oml. Alter the shooting wag ovcr^Tßjll
said to the chap who won the beef:
“Dave, do you know as how Pm a
witch?”
“No,” replied Dave? and I reckon I
never will know it.”
“Now you might,” confoucdDiU, “for
1 am a witch and no mistake, apd tfyou
don't believe it, I’ll make ye believe it'by
bewitchin’ yer gun.”
“ By bewitchinV fiddle-stick!’’
“Tre sir, I can do it. ; Now jun got
the beef, and you think yersoipe pumpkins
of a shooter, and your party sharp at it.
But for all that, I’ll teU you Sriuft I cut
do. If you'll let me rub my hands over
the mtizzle ofyer.gun after ye’ve raised it
up to shoot, you may do, your bwt than.
and by blue, I’ll bet you’ll not be aWMo
hit that big tree yonder.”
“Bet you a quart on that,” said Dave,
whidt bet waa cordially accepted.
Dave got ready to shoot, and his gifted
or “possessed” friend Bill pasaed his
over the ihuzzle of the gun. Dave. took
deliberate aim, Davefired, and, auto enough
Dave missed the tree! And straightway
the quart was forthcoming. Having ta
ken a few hearty pulls at the whUkey,
Bill, the witch, boasted loud and lone; of
what he could do. He would bet any nw n
a gallon that he could take his gun and
shoot into the tree, and the Mood would N
run out at the bullet-hole. Or,, if that
would not do he would bet any pngo a
gallon that he could shoot a hole thtoqgh
hia hat, even though it was placed on the
side of the tree apposite to die one fhcing
him. No one would bet and so heiftim
mered doiyn. On meeting with Him pest
day, he told me that he dropped a fp|»ll
shot into the muzzle of Dave’s gun on pas*
sing his hand over h, and tbit said shot
was the cause of his missing the-trce.
A CoMi'OBXABI.E Earn 'Ffff
domains of the Pqke of Devonshire lyoald
cover one of our largest counties. The
park immediately surrounding the palace
is eleven miles in eircnmferenc, ahdcon
tains 8,000 acres. The principal gaadeo
for vegetables, fruits, greenhouses fcp., is
25 acres. There are 30 greenhouses,
from 50 to 85 feet long. We went
three containing nothing but melons and
cucumbers. One peach tree on the ghue
wall measures 51 feet in width,
feet liigh, and hears 1,000 peaches. Jt is
the latest in the world- The grape*
houses, five or six in M, are 600fwtldng,
and such grapes! We saw pin«-applte
weighing ten or fifteen pounds each. One
green-house had only Ggp, atmthy
mushrooms. But what shall be mid
the great conservatory, Med' with every
variety of tropical plants? It
wonders of the world. It covers an acreof
ground, and is 100 feet high, of oval
and cost $500,000. It is healed by ffetlHl
and hot water pipe, wbiph ■in <*
miles m length. The app»w»tpa' y
600 tons of coal in a year. We SwSh*
ana trees twenty fret high, with chufera
of fruit, sugarpane, Iffailrn'ri.
and in pyeiy
he named. Several of the. paly txa»
are from fifty to sixty feet fegti TChe
smoke of the immense lire tmderiieatiils
carried in pipes underground. Daeifean
tain tbwws a jet of water to thahekfatof
275 feet,
«rA peasant who had a nueerahtaold
hack horse ~Who was
old age, resolved to dcstroylmh. jgf-fce
tras riding along the road, he set ajockey
riding aeuperb fnU-bloodod Aiatianboofc
“My friend,” said the owner of the ep
tiquited animal, I’ll bet 'you tendpSars.|
chn do with my horse what fiiit ’do
with yours.” •
“ Done!” said the jockey.
The peasant quietly led bis Hny* to Ihe
brink of the river and pushed h»»p in.
“Now, let’s see you do that wi&your
horse,” he said. ' ;
The jockey preferred paying the tea
dollars.
gS*'As a proof sfcat gufe arpjyj&J
ticles and that die world coquk’t yen
well get along tnibont thanu
stated, by a Better ftet, that #
aU tie girls were to be the
jii fm, generation the b»w w*M
all go after them. TjTeU. they
' “Manages are' vor ca&ii
of tium
(ewm «wr matched! : TVnfqarJ : itoUu
®i diqpontitt should ftefrdt ifadfaj fe|_
political podticmtwj!?
bn fee"tfoceey ,: -
tiurali fe, «fc fae«oaa|
iSSS&RSNi
t i n
vf , ■
-- ■) f
?- f- ■;
•NO. 6,
*«nr.
1.-.liV.il ' * ,f 't>'