H
E
Y
i
■TJE»
yrup.
ÜBLIC.
f over TEN ytsan
Jacriber ia prepared *„ '
<■> which Vi never
c Ixxn given in vainr.
,uV lud t<rLCtua ' pr^ni
and effoctnaiu.
'• inUiu’ri?’
inline
Hiiapu or lorn,} |,« t .'SS -
PU'-gativM that oik: ■!
1 • < r l,eil ; where no W O 2!?M
'rtii, in nine cmmm I
.lion of tlie digtjtiv! 1 of |
,‘Vf ’ or c °nvalaions J 1
• U are perfectly tleljr,!.* I
to any other propane j
ma,iff UBlU2r^-I>
li
m
fj-mi
ENT IN COOK*
•D OAS AKD SATUfQ
Viflhriug to the nubile
CONSUMING
which is detained te iq
S FUEL
y, quickly and regahu
ut gas arises from tl.fa
consumed ere It can t*.
u*kc os'that unpleasaut
also consumed inside &
•liger «f lines oreblm-
Uio mortar loosened by
c.s arc invited to call at
;ib S(, ““' Tt "‘lde, and e*.
SHOEMAKER,
-'iJ./br Itlair Chanty.
rlur Cooking and £j»
[Ang. 12, lBsft“
z GAZETTE.--
<■ and Criminals Is fa
Circulated throughout
oreat Trials, Criminal
the some, together with
not to be found in any
• $1 for six months,do
oiild write their names
i o they reside plainly.)
■-ATiiKLr.&CO.,
rk Police Gazette,. •
-iVue York City,
; K, FOR MA
■' fur 'Washing, oat
Cos till* Soup, Palm
• fur Kale ut
A. IIOUSITfi.
T 11. TUCH’S,
aider Seam Fine Shirts
ER’S
TIERS,
evlml, every mem*
s'abject to disease
y functionsbut,
;uul the eicreisa ;
may bo able so to
sc cure permanent :
plish this desired |
itisue is certainly ]
natural state of
vital strength and
lioHlelter baa in
•eparation bearing ]
medicine, but one '
?. giving satisfoc
it. The Bitters,
stomach, .bowels,
to a healthy and
y the simple pro
y. enable the gys-
Indigestion, Nau
: it e, or any Bilious
morbid inaction
reducing Cramps, -
iorbus, &.0., these
so generally oon*
caused principally
et, will be speedily
tins preparation,
is probably more
forms, than any
■ioli may always
- of the digestive
mt fail by using
HITTERS, us per
this disease every
tors of some kind;
u:ur.n to be.inful*
r Bitters, aa a pre
t iiener of Uro sys*
; hem all there is
.Ithy people than
j,reparation em*
;:iicriincnts which
i'liic of this great
Helical science.
•ying and prdvok
ii on! less jjrosp.on
im to a mere sha
de ring him phy
. can bo driven
t lIOSTETTBE’S
rther, none of the
contracted, oven
Bitters are used
;>v neither create
..'and' render un*
t or interruption
mole sound sleep
c -1111 plaint is re
lent with the pro
jmanent cure.
y t \:rs, -who are
■.-institution ana
c- invaluable as a
vigor, and need
And to Hi
[liters arc indis-
e mother’s now*
; demands of th*
:igth must yield,
a tonic, such «
i needed to impart
jr to the system.
try this remedy
, before so doing,
, who, if .«
■ the Bitters,
ihps of weakness.
,v.blio against using
c iift terfeits, bat
f-oMAcn Bitter*.
to vrords “I*- f
.l.vru on the side
ilia mctallie OB P
that our autograph
~nd sold by dj
talers CO s|ggj
SH. Canada, : SoU»“
»«s!i
jIcCBUM & BERN,
• VOL. 5.
THE ALTOONA. TRIBUNE
jIcCBDM 4 DKBN, Proprietors.
Per'innum, (p«y»W« tawWte tawlrmce,) $1,60
ill p*P«r» diacontinued thointration of th« tim«
piiJ fo r '
TIUU OF.ABTKHUDfe.
1 insertion \ 8 do. 3 do.
ru* lines or less, *.26 * 37}$ '$ 60
J?MU»re, ( 8 Up*e,) 80 T 76 .100
(X 6 “ ) 160 180 200
JIL (24 " ) 1 60, 200 280
o,er three weeks and less than three months, 26 cento *er
«,o»ro for esch insertion.
* 8-months. 6 months. 1 year.
Six lines or less, $1 60 $3 00 $' 800
OMsqnsre, 2 60 4 00 7 00
“ * W 6 00 10 00
Three 6 00 B 00 12 00
Tour “ 0 00 10 00 14 00
lilfa column, . ■ .10 00 14 00 20 00
One column, 14 00 26 00 40 00
Adminldrstors and Executors Notices, 178
Merchants advertising jby the year, three squares, 1
srith liberty to change, 10 00
Piofowional or Business Cards, not exceeding 8
lines with-Ai»j)«r, per year.
Communications of a political character or Individual in
' teiast will be charged occording to the above rates.
Advertisements not marked with the number of insertions
desired, will be continued till forbid and charged according
(o the above terms.
Business notices five cents per line for every insertion.'
Obituary notices exceeding ten fifty cent* asqnare.
j.s.coon, v. t>. j. m anamx, *. d.
SR S. GOOD & GEMMILL Hav
ing entered Into Partnership in the Practice of
:ine, respectfully tender' their services to the Public
in the several bronches of their Profession.
Call, will he answered either day or night at their office
-which is the same as heretofore occupied by Dts. Hirst
4 Good, —or at the Login House,
i April 215t,i1859'3m 1 ■
VV. M. LLOYD & CO.,
ALTOOFA, PA.,
JOHNSTON, JACK & CO-,
■MOLIdDATSBURO, PA.,
{Lult “ Bell, Johnston., Jack £ Co.”)
Drafts on the principal
Cities, and Silver us'd Gold for sale. Collections
made. Moneys received on deposits, payable on demand,
without Interest, or upon time, with interest at Cur rates.
Feb. 3d, 1860.
r ANDS ! LANDS I I LANDS!!!
I 1 The undersigned is prepared to locate LAND 'WAK-
JtiNTS in the Omaha and Nebraska City Land Offices.—
Good selections can now be made near the large streams
and settlements. The Lands of this TMritory, now in
Market, are of the best quality. '
tfiL Selections carefully made. Letters ct inquiry re
quested. * ALEX. F. McKXNNKY.
Otuuyoiis, Cass County, N. Ter.
July 14,18M.-tf
rpirrexcks:
Rev. A. B. Clark, Altoona, Pa.
Wx. M. I,lotd A Co., Bankers, Altoona, Pa.
UcCbuji A Dsax, Editors, •*
Tnos. A. Scott, Snpt. P; R.R., “
D. JlcMnaims, Esqv, Huntingdon, Pa.
T D. LEET, ATTORNEY AT LAW
tf . ALTOONA, BLAIR Co, Pa.,
'till practice law in the several Coarts of Blair, Cambria,
Ilinitiugdon, Clearfield, Centre and attaining counties.—
Also in.the District Count of the UnltedStates.
Collections of claims promptly attended to. Agent for
tbs sale of Real Estate, Bounty Land Warrants, and all
business pertaining to conveyancing nndthe law. '
Brckrexcss:
lion. Wilson McCandles and Andrew Burke, Esq., Pitts-
Urgb; Hon. Samuel'A. Gilmore, Pres. Judge -of Fayette
.lofficial District; Hon. Chenard Clemens, of Wheeling, Va.;
Hob Henry D. Foster, Greensburg; Hon. John W. Kililnger,
Lebsaou; Hon. Wta. A. Porter, Philadelphia; and Hon.
George P. Uameiton, Pittsburgh June W, 1859-ly.
THE ROOT AND HERB DOCTOR,
X front Philadelphia, whose roonls'linve been bo dense
ly crowd«tat the Logan House, on former visits, can he
ojoialted bcreailer'iat the Altoona Honsc, one day In each
-niuutb, notice of which Will bo given In. this paper. Be
mil be in Altoona on the 13th day of. July, 17th of August
an lUth day of September, after which ho will bo absent
two mouths, but will give notice through this paper when
in will commence for the. whiter season again- .He,treats
sll discos e« flesh it to. A stethuscopic examlna
lion uf tbe Heart, Lunds and Thront free of charge. :Thrn
aiid! upon thousands have testified to the correctnesa of
hi* ("sting diseases without asking any questions. Ho has
had thirty years’ constant practice among diseases of every
mture. All diseases of a private nature strictly confiden
ts l«-Sce hand-bills. Dr. W. LKVINGSTON.
Boots and shoes.—the jun
dtrsigned has now on liand and will
•ell cheap at his store in tbe Masonic Tcm
pie. a large and complete assortment ofBOOTS
AND SHOES, ready made, or inode to order, •
Ormboes. Ladies’ Sandals, Gum Shoes, Cork
iul*9. and everything in his lino of business,of
beat quality and bn the most reasonable terms. All
custom work warranted. ’ l
Jan. 2, ’55-tf.] J. SHOEMAKER.
FURNITURE WARE-ROOM.—TEE
i '. “Deigned respectfully informs the public that he
iim taken the ware-room two doors from the Branch Jit ad,
vtieri he will keep on baud all kinds of '
, CABINET-WARE,
»nd attend to the duties of An (UNDERTAKER.'
two good Cabinet-Makers and one apprentice wanted.
lltoom, Apr. 12.150 C. • ; JAS. T MOORE.
LANDBETH & SON’S
Philadelphia Garden Seeds I!
FUEBH AND dfcNUINB,
£mui??} ISU ’ S .. DrUB ® torB, ®ne paper of these Seeds
April I’’ h M thre ® P 4 !*” °f Parker’s Seeds. •
WM. S. BITTNER,
rv S rVS? EON DENTIST.
()S CE IN THE MASONIC TEM-
I v (.Dec. 23,
wanted. .
R - PINREY RE- > A
•wtkest^T 1^111 ' 1,7 offe F* hW
0 »^coun“ry 1)CO1 ' 1O of . Altoona an . d the ad-GH^P
D?.;o“d! Tbomw 0 ® 08 fcereto,oro -H
Sept. 30, Iss£jU
tesjyALf-A. M; KING, SUOE
kfo,M the public that he :
v? S oo .™ to the Tribune
fwM u, m ei ? la Street >' whe « hoispreMHL^
> Ws>s BHft?S fIM ? or 6
®>mu:r U •’ at re * s °n*t>le prices, and Jn a substantial;
[Mar.IVOO.-tf. 1
BSip? D SHOEMAKER—JOHN
t*ken a jwrtlop pf tho
toj.Tv*,? M r wC- notf
15 ®* 9 • rin \Bh6p, and
i»good S?/ to Jß et ?P MenVßodts
at low rate*. ‘ [Mi-05,>fjO-tC
C1 d £w?--all PERSONS ARE
kin witv, n °t to purchase or.sell any lager beer
wl! alnp o ? the AJLTOOKA BREWERY there-
BiSP neT P. r ,.b ai?e b«en and never will be Bold
claimed said atampwfll
* ( be Bit.,!;?*!!' wherever found, by the proprietor*
B| mh i^7 hom ** **«»*. :
B WILHELM ABRQ,
. £»oser, M. IX, "
“toon* nn/viriJS^^ 6 * llo^ 1 * BorTlceB to the cltlMiu.of
r °l^“ ce »c*n bo gJven If refitSed.
Hi °S Brtnch 'treet. East Altoona, three
6 Lonrad'i Store. April 28‘69-ly.,
BEST “i&TICI/t OF
!*«>•XwwUtown mlll*,k«pt
‘
pIiOUE delivered i
~S>* MB« mrWOUT OSJjBGM.
' w ' C. JAtKJAKD.
« . ’ ,S i- ‘ ' "I '
Hfkt Jffdrg.
CONTENTMENT.
“JUS WASTS BDt tOTB Httß BJttOW.”
little I ask; iny wants are few
I onlywiaho hutof atone,
(A very plain brown atonO will do,)
v That I may call my own;—
And clMeat band la such none,
Inyonder'atroetthat fronts the sun.
flaln feed iaqnite enonghforme;
Three course* are as good oaten;—
If Nature can subsist on three, ;•
Thank Heaven for Ament
I always thought cold victual nice ;
My choice would be vanil%ic(u '
6 00
I care not much for gold or land;— ~
Glte me a mortgage here and there,—
Some good bank-stock,—sonic note of hand,
Ortrifling railroad share;
I qply ask that Fortune send
A little more than I shall spend.
Honors are silly toys, I know,
And titles are but empty names
1 would perhaps be Plenipo—
- But only near St. James; —
Pm very sure 1 should not Care
To fill our Qubernator’s chair. j
Jewels are baubles; ’tls a sin
To care for sueh unfruitful-things
One goodsued diamond in a pin,—
Some, not. large, in rings,—
A ruby, and a pearl, or so,
Will.do for me;—l laugh at show. V
My dame shonld dress in cheap attire ; '
(Good heavy silks are never dear;}
I own perhaps I might desire
. Some shawls of true cashmere,—
Some in arrowy crapes of China silk.
Like wrinkled skins on scalded milk.
I would not Haro the horqe I drive
So fast that folks' must stop and stare;
An easy gait—two, forty-five—
Suits me; Ido notcare; —
Perhaps, for just a single spurt,
Some seconds less would do no hurt.
Of pictures, I should like to own
Titians and Raphaels three or four, —
1 love so much their style and tone,—
One Turner, and no mere
(A landscape,—foreground golden dirt;
The sunshine painted with a squirt.)
Of books bnt few, —iome fifty score
For daily use and bound for wear;
Thereat upon an upper floor ;
Some little luxury there
Of red morocco’s gilded gleam,
And vellum rich as country cream
Busts, cameos, gems,—such things as these,
Which others often show for pride,
I value for their power to please,
And selfish churls deride; —
One Stradivarius, I confess,
Two Meerschaums, I would tain possess.
Wealth’s wasteful tricks I will not learn,
Nor ape the glittering upstart fool;
Shall not carved tables serve my taro,
Bat all'must bo of buhl I ‘
Give grasping pomp its double share,—
I ash but one recumbent chair.
Thus humble let mo live and die,
Nor long for Midas’-goideu touch;
If Jleavemmore glorious gifts deny,
| I shall not miss tbein much,—
Too grateful for the blessing lent
Of simple tastes and mind content!
“BEQUIESCAT IBT PACE.”
Sighs, and moans, and bitter weeping,
Pur the silent, dreamless dead;
Place foir flowers ’round the sleeper,
Strew green branches o’er his bed.
Point with nerveless, drooping finger
To that home beneath the sod,
Bnt remember, while yon linger,
That the spirit is with God.
Dear one, thongh they weep for thee,
Rcqnlsscat la pace.
Suns wilt rise and set above thee,
Wild winds wander o’er thy tomb;
To the, hearts of those that love thee,
Winter’s storm or Summer’s bloom
Ne’er cap bririgßnrcease of mourning;
They will bend above thy grave
Till the wondering moon behold them,
And the stars rise o’er the wave.
From their sorrow thon artfreo;
Requiescat in pace.
, Unavailing'tears, their portion,
Day by day, 1 and night by night
Clouds are ’round about, above them,
They behqid no gleams of fight.
Tlion hast chastened them, “Qnr Father,”
Slain their “ well-beloved Sofi^
Aid them in their grief to murmur, '
“Thy will, not our own, be done.”
Loved one! may they say for thee,
jteqnlescat in pace.
I BBLIQiON.
How dark oad dreary earth would be
Without religion’s power;
“A vale of tears,” a deceit plain—
] A waste without a flower.
She’s a bright seraph, pure andlhir.
In mercy sent from Heaven,
To soothe and heal’the wounded heart.
By tin aid sorrow riven.
In sickness and in deep distress.
She lends her soothing power ;
She gently calms the troubled soul.
And brightens every hour.
She throws a beam of Heavenly'light
Upon the 1 opening tomb,
And points the soul to world on hlgh,;
Her bleat eternal home.
Hake lhen her peaceful paths your choice,
And you will be secure; '' .
In life, in death, in Heaven above,
You’ll find her comforts sure.
A LOVINQ HEART.
Give me a loving heart I I
Xh cheer me on my way,
Thro’ this.dark world of- sin andpain,
Xo.oqe of endless nay, ‘ • •• • •
For nought can calm toe trouMedhreast.
Or boiler balm impart, ■
To the Ilfc-weary pilgrim hsre,
Than one true loving heart I
BT LOLUX HOPS.
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, JULY 19, 1860.
from Scripture.
God tempers the wind tq the shorn
lamb." From Sterne’s Sentimental Jonr-
CUJiIOSITY SfcPBOVBD. ney to Italy. Compare Isaiah xxvii. 8.
m. t> -ri I . , „ ' . “In the midst of life we are in death.”
Ambassador found himself From the Burial Service ; and this origin
annoyed wjenin France by the insatiable nally, from a hymn of Luther,
cunosity |f the fair Parisians, who came « Bread and Wine which the Lord hath
to hmresidonce avowedly" to look athim,” commanded to be received.” From the
tnat, at he resolved to revenge him- English Catechism. '
sett by the following little scheme ■; , “ Not to be, wise above what is written.”
On returning one day from a ride, and Not in Scripture,
finding, as usual, his- apartments crowded That the Spirit would go from heart to
by ladies, he affected to be charmed with heart as oil from vessel to vessel.” Not
the sight of them, successively pointing to in Scripture.
each with his finger, and speaking with “ The merciful man is merciful to his
earnestness to his interpreter, who be well beast.” The scriptural form is, « A right
knew would be afterwards closely ques- eons man regardeth the life of his beast.”
turned as to the purport of his remarks. Prov. xii. 10.
Accordingly, the eldst of the ladies, who, “ A nation shall be born in a day.” In
in spite of age, probably thought herself Isaiah it reads, “Shall a nation be borne
the most striking of the whole party, and atence?” Lxvi. 8.
whose curiosity was particularly excited, “As iron sharpeneth iron, so doth a
after his excellency had passed through man the countenance of his friend.” “Iron
the suite of rooms, coolly inquired what sharpeneth iron ; so a man sharpeneth the
nught have been the object of his exami- countenance of his friend.” Prov. xxvii.
nation. 17.
“ Madam,” replied the interpreter, “ 1
dare not inform you.”
“ But I wish particularly to know, sir.”
“ Indeed, madam, it is impossible.”
“ Nay, sir, this reserve is vexatious—l
desire to know.*’
“Oh, since you insist, madam —know
then that his excellency has been valuing
you.” _
“ Valuing us j how, sir ?”
“ Yes, ladies-r-his excellency, after the
custom of his country, has been setting a
price upon each'of you.”
ft Well, that’s whimsical enough; and
how much may that Jady we worth, accor
ding to his estimation ?”
“ A tbousand crowns.”
“ And the other ?”
“ Five hundred crowns.”
“ And thait young lady with fair hair ?”
“ Three hundred crowns.”
“ And that brunette ?”
“ The same price.”
“ And that lady Who is painted ?”
“ Fifty crowns.”
“ And pray, sir, what may I worth in
the tariff of his excellency’s good graces?”
“ Oh, madam, you really must excuse
me; I beg——
“ Come, come,: no concealments.”
“The prince merely said, as be passed
you— —” i
“ Well, what did he say ?”
“ He said, madam, that he did not know
the small coin of; the country.”
“ I WISH If HAD CAPITAL.”
This was the • exclamation of a stout,
hearty, but lazy, young man, the other
day.
Now, suppose you. had a capital—what
would you dp with it? ' Let me tell you,
you have capital. I, Haven’t you got hands
and feet, body, muscle, bone and brains,
and don’t you call them capital? Oh, but
they are not Mos|y, says you; But they
are more thafi mpney. If you will use
them they will make money, and nobody
can take them from you. Don’t you know
howto use them ? If you don’t it’s time
you were learning. Take hold of the first
plow or hoe, or jack-plane, or broad axe
that you can find ijand go to work. Your
capital will soon yield you a large interest.
Aye, but there’s tfie rub; you don’t want
to work; you want mbney on credit that
you may play the gentleman and specu
late, and end by playing the vagabond—
for you Want apiantation and negroes that
you may hire an .overseer to attend to it,-
while you run about Over the country and
dissipate and get into debt; or you want
to marry some very rich girl, who would
be foolish enough to take you fpr your
fine clothes and good looks, that she may
support you.
Shame upon you, young man 1 Go to
work with the capital you have; you’ll
soon make interest upon it, and with it to
give you as much money as you want, and
make you feel ’like a man. If you can’t
make money upon whht capital you now
.have, you couldn’t do it if you had a mil
lion of dollars in money. If you do not
know fiow to use bone, muscle and brains,
{rou would not knpw to use gold. If you
et the .yottbave lie idle, waste and
rot out, it would be the very same thing
with you if you had gold ; you would only
know how to waste it. ‘ '
Then don’t stand about like a great
helpless child> waiting for somebody to
come and feed you)- but go to work. Take
the firstwork you dan find, no matter what
it is, so that you be sure to do it like Billy
Gray did Ids Mimning—well. Yes, man
age the capital you already have —you will
eoqn have plenty more to manage. If you
pan -t or won’t manage the capital Gou has
given yon, you Wild never have any more
to mnnagp. Do you hear?
i- . —• ■■ -y - . 1 ;
old gentleman of eighty-four
having taken to the alter fryhung lady of
sateen the olet-gyhian said to him :
■ the fount at the oppo>
t3»;cli^oh”
yatdoh,” said the clerical
wit, I ’ thought jrou bad brought ibis 1
child to be christened.”
[independent IN EVERYTHING. 3
“ That he who runs may read,” “ That
he may run that readeth.”—Hab. ii. 2.
“ Owe’ no man anything but love.”—
“ Owe no man anything, but to love one
another.”—Rom. xiii. 8. *■
“Prone to sin as the sparks fly upward.”
“Born to trouble as the sparks fly up
ward.”--v. 7.
“Exalted to heaven in point of privi
lege” Not In the Bible.
Eve was not Adam’s helpmate , but
merely a help meet for him; nor was Ab
salom’s long hair, of which he was so proud
the instrument of his destruction 3 his
lead, and not the hair upon it, having been
caught in boughs of the tree. (2 Samuel,
xviii. 8.)
ture witness, that Packenah, Jarekhan,
Silkhals, Part Quesot, Jervis, Essepenauk,
Felktroy, Hekellappa, Econus, Machloha,
Methconga, Wissa, Powey, Saehemakers,
right owners of all the lands from Quin
gus, called Duck Greek, unto Upland,
called Chester Creek, all along by the west
side of the Delaware river, and so between
the creeks backward as far as a man can
ride in two days with a horse, for, and in
consideration of these following goods to
us in hand paid, and secured to be paid
by William Penn, proprietor and Gover
nor of the province of Pennsylvania and
territories thereoff, viz 20 guns; 20 fa
thoms stroud water, 20 blankets, 20 ket
tles, ' 20 fts. powder, 100 bars lead, 40
tomahawks, 100 knives, 40 pairs stock
ings, 1 barrel beer, 20 pounds red lead,
100 fathoms wampum, 30 glass bottles, 30
pewter spoons, JOO awl blades, 300 tobac
co pipes, 100 hands of tobacpo, 20 tobacco
thogs, 20 steels, 300 flints,. 30 pairs of
scissors, 30 combs, 60 looking-glasses, 200
needles, 1 skipple of salt, 30 pounds of
sugar, 5 gallons of molasses, 20 tobacco
boxes, 100 jewsharps, 20 hoes, 20 gimb
lets, 35 wooden screw boxes, 100 strings
of beads, do hereby acknowledge, etc., at
New Castle, 2d day of the eighth month.
1685. ' ’
The above is a true copy taken from the
original by Ephraim Morton, formerly a
a clerk in the Land Office.
Paragraph on Matrimony.—Chbos
ing a wife is a perilous piece of business.
Do you suppose there is nothing of it but
evening visits, bdquets, and popping the
question? My dear simple young man,
you ought not be trusted out by yourself
alone. Take care that you don’t get the
gilt China article, that looks exceedingly
W$H on the mantle piece until the gilt and
ornaments are. all robbed off, and then it
is fit only for the dust pile, A wife
should be selected on the same' principle
as a calico gown. Bright colors and gay
patterns are not always the best economy.
Get something that will wash and wear. —
Nothing like the sun and showers of mat
rimony to bleach out these deceptive ex
ternals. Don’t choose the treasure by gas
light or in a parlor sitting. Broad day
light is the f best time—a kitchen the most
sensible pligje. Bear, in mind, sir, that
the article bargained for can’t be exchan
ged if it don’t-suit, If you buy a watch
and it don’t run as'you expected, you pan
send it to a jeweler to be repaired; in the
case of a wife, once paired, you cannot re
pair. She may run in the wrong direc
tion—very well, sir, all that is left for you
is to pun after her, and an interesting
dhasb you will probably find it. If yon
get a good wife, you will be the happiest
fellow alive; if you get a bad one, you
may as well soli yourself for two and six
pence at once I Just consider all thesp
things beforehand, yoopg’man!
i ; VSS* A french engineer was traveling
upon an Ohio river steamboat. He re r
marked to the captain:
"Tour engine is in very poor condi
tion, sir/'
That’s so,” said the captain.
" And hoW lohg'dd you expect it will
run?” ’ Cv
H Tin it hurotss was-the cod reply.
At the next good landing-place there
was at leastone': Frenchman less on the
boat.
William Penn’s Deed. —This inden
Eloquence at A Premium.—" May
it please the Court," said » Yankee law*
yer, before a Pqtch Justice the other day,
“ this is a case of thegreatestimportance.
While the American Eagle, Whose sleep
less eye watches over the welfare of this
mighty republic, and whose trines extend
from the AUe'ghanies to the Jitoeky Chain
of the West, was rejoicing in hispride of
place"——•
“ Shtopdare! shtop dare, X( say I vat
hasdis suit itp do mit eagles. I Pis has
notin to do.mit de wild bird. It von
Iheep," exclaimed the Justice. I i
“ True, your honor; but my client has
rights here”—- i
“ Ye’s glient has no right to do eagle 1”
“ Of course not, but by the laws of lan-
' ; tl
“ Vat cares I for de laws of language;
I undeashtant de laws of de State, and
dat ish enough for me. Gonfiney our talk
ta de case/’
“Well, then, my client,-the defendant
in this case, is charged with stealing sheep,
and”—-
“ Dat will do ! dat will do! Your gli
ent is charged mit shtealing a sheep, jusi;
nine shillin. De gourt will adjourn to
Charley Peter’s to drink !”
A Great River from a Little Bill
—A Welsh minister asked a little girl for
the text of his last sermon. The chik
gave no answer—she only wept. He as
certained that she had no. Bible in which
to look for the text. And this led him to
inquire whether her parents and neighbors
had a Bible; and this led to that meeting
in London, in 1804, of a few devoted
Christians, to devise means to supply the
poor in Wales with the Bible, the'grand
issue of which was the formation of the
British and Foreign Bible Society—a so
ciety which has already distributed more
than 15,000,000 copies of the Bible, its
issues now reaching nearly 1,500,000 an
nually. And this, in turn, led to the for
mation of the American Bible Society,
and to the . whole beautiful cltmer of sister
institututions throughout the world, which
are so many trees of life, scattering the
golden fruits of immortality among all na
tions of the earth. This mighty river, so
deep, so broad, so far reaching in its many
branches, we may trace back to the tears
of that little girl. “Behold how great a
matter a little fire kindleth!”
The Sailor’s Letter. —A sailor, in
writing to his mothejr, gave the following
account of a storm :—“ We have been dri
ven in the Bay pf Funday by a pampoosa
right in the teeth. It bio wed great guns,
and we carried away the bowsprit; a heavy
sea washed overboard the binnacle and
companion; the captain lost his quadrant
and could not take an observation for fif
teen days; at last we arrived safe at Hal
ifax !”
The old woman, who could mt read
herself, got a neighbor to repeat it to her
three or four times, until she thought she
had got it by heart; she then tallied out to
tell the story.
“ Oh, my poor son.”
“Why, what’s the matter—he’s not
lost ?” inquired a sympathizing friend.
“ O, thank God, he’s safe, but he has
been driven into the Bay of Firmament by
a bamboozle right in the teeth—it blowed
great guns, and they carried away the pul
fit—a heavy sea Washed overboard- the*
finnacle of the tabernacle-—the captain
ost his conjuration, and couldn’t iget any
salvation for fifteen days—at last they ar
rived at Hallelujah.” I,
Time Required 'tq Count a Billion.
—This is a million timeg a million, which
no one is able to counlj however easy it
may be to write it. You can count 160
to 170 a minute; let us even suppose
you can gous far as 200 in aminutie, then
an hour will produce 12,000, a day 28,000
and a year (or 365 daia—-for every four
years you may rest a from counting,
during leap year,) 105,120,000. Suppo
sing that Adam, at the beginning of his
existence, had begun to count and'con tin?
ued to do so, and was counting still, he
would not even now, according to the
Usual supposed age of our globe* have
counted nearly enough. For to tiount a
billion, He would require 9,512 years, 84
days, 5 hours and ,20 minutes.
The American Millionaire. —Mr.
Wax. B. Astor is worth at least $25,000,-
000, and every cent of the
and above expenses and charities, ; is im
mediately reinvested. Mr. A. a
hale and hearty man, and will probably
live to be as old as his father.' Hd has an
office, where he works harden than, a dry
-goods clerks Six or seven gentlemen act
as book keepers, but he holds the| thread
of the complicated skein in his own
hands, And yet such are the peculiar
phases in the history of men’s lives, he
will leave this gay world and all these
groat possessions, the temporary owner of
a plat of ground only six feet by three I—
that’s all he gets for his trouble. ;
l@u There is said to bean old lady down
oh Lung Island so very fat that the neigh
bora use her saddle for griddle growing.
To keepr her from slipping out of hod her
husband rolls her in ashes. ' Lqnglsland
is a great place.
BjSUjta- one of the Ohio districts-a-maw
toting the census arrived at a fiirin-bouBe;>
to ask questaons of the
/‘Ladies, how many male CoWs Haftr
yon V* ■'
“We have no male coWs,” replicdone
young lady—a Bweet,ethereiftl creature of
some' two- hundred pounds but
W§,havea gentleman buU oilf V* V
The census taker pat it down-.
ISS* An aged woman who was net ac
customed to attend church, went oa& Buo~ '
Aty. Dazing prayer time, whilesibswas.
on hpr knees; upr old cat, whohad&ilow
ed na unnoticed; came purring roUdd her..
when'she broke out with t , ■*> .
“Why/poosy; what, yon' ephitf ter thn
meetin’ tn>f hy-ec I-1 spoke out itPmeetin.
Why-ee-oe I I spoke out agin I. Why-ee,
loddy-goddy! I keep % spoking all the
time I” ■ .
i&* Jlowed, knees and beautiful words
cannot make prayer; but earnest'desires
a ; heart bowed by love, inspired ty
Grid’s Holy Spirit, and thirsting for (Jod,
the living Hod, will _do it, anywhere, or
in any or at any time.
Z'.'A
. lauTo win a soUI is your noblest pi|e,
and the greater number you win, the great- •
dr and nailer will be that “ crown of
joicing, which you will "wear in the day
of the Lord. x *
In France only one traveler ia
killed put or every two nations of passen
gers on the railroads, and only one woun
ded in every 500,000. ,
jg» Every pound of cochineal conkip«
70,000 insects, boiled to death; 700,000
pounds are annually used for orimson and
scarlet dyes.
'VSuKpep your store of smiles and;
kipdneat thoughts for home; .give to thb
World only those which are to spare. - :
'tfSt A person who tells of the lauKa-pf;
others, intends to tell others years. Hiffc ■'
a CMihOw you listen.
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
A' Bad Character.— We always were
aware of the importance of having a good'
reputation for truth and honesty, but we
have met with nothingdately so well cal*
eulated to impress the advantages of hav.
ins a had character upon the mind; as- the
following anecdote ':—
A mortal fever prevailed on board a
ship at sea, and. a negro man was appoint
ed to-throw the bodies of those who died,-
from time to time, into the sea. One day,
when the captain- was on deck, he saw the*
negro dragging out of the forecastle a*
siok man, who was struggling violently to
extricate himself from tm. negro’s grasp,
and remonstrating very bitterly against
the cruelty of being buried-alive; .
« What are you going to do with that
man, you black rascal ?” said the qaptain.
“ Going to throw him overboard
’cause he’s dead.”
“Dead,! you scoundrel,” said the ob
tain ; “ doth you s see he- moves amt evetu
speaks?” - , . - ;
“Yes, massa, I know he Says he not'
dead, but ho always lie so, nobody neve*
know whm to believe him I”
Music.—There is something very won
derful in music. Words anr woninfßl>
enough, but music is; even mo.ro, wonder--
ful. It speaks not to our thoughts as*
words do; it speaks straight to our hearts’
and spirits-—to the very core and >root of
our souls. Music sooths us, stirs os up
it puts noble feelings into us; it melts Os
to tears, we know not how; it is o lan
guage by itself, just as divine, just as
sed. Music, I say, without Words, it won
derful and blessed-T-one of GosTs bfest
gifts to man., But in singing you have
both the wonders together—music, and
words. Singing speaks at oncipto the
head and to the heart, to our understand'
ing and our feelings, and therefore, per
haps the most beautiful way in whiohvthe 7
reasonable soul, of man ean show itself
(except of course doing right, whiohal l --
ways is and always will be; the Same bean- -
tiful thing, is singing.
JM9u A wag thus plays upon t% name»
f some of the United State* Senators >—
A Senator of metal—Belt
A shining Senator~BHght<
A verdant Senator—Green. i
A greasy Senator—Chandler. .
A depillious Senator—Wigfisdll-'
A lazy Senator—Doolittle. '
A healthy Senator—Hale; ‘
A grave Senator—^Toombst*
A royal Sehaterr^Eanr
A brick of a Senator—Mason*. 4
SportingSenators—-Hunter and CJ&QmV
A pious Senator—-Pugh;
A provisional Senator—Rice;
A colored Senator—Brovn.
A blustering Scnator—Bragg.-
A lowly Senator—Foot~ ‘
An old “ salt”-—ScwarcK
A hard nut for Sumu&r to <*&&*.=»
Chestnut.
■ - : v- v
NO. 2*.
>■