OlAMOiS^^pu. Kdwl by tpectai Mb,, •lutruttd, *gieu!liHSft£ JSKS:3BJISSM - Vic, ini* or TOC hlte^ Aeil tliejr *9 heir name. to open a * c iuw of <l iMoum. la Mce prolix, to all f tlifir condition. .1 in cases nf cx(rcm?S^2^ i,nnf / r « "/■ cliarJ^SflE latjun command* the Ll”." .' 1 furnish the nmst lion. In their Annan! JUne- * diseases. oxpreg the hIStS # ■ iij'jli has at tended oure of B.>porm a |ffi2L "• Oon .orrhia. ft.-li-ahi.se. Ac.. andW'dsf * i-'i tin- cn*nine Tear * Of U.e past, (eel assured Effort have m* I. .-spec,ally lo tbey fmiu W 1., inselv.-s, wit), * idi despised cause. rmmtorrlioen, or BmUi Hill. Masturbation, sexual organs, by tho i'.v mail (in n sealed n receipt of 1 WO STaSS* i.v. Inu-ts on the Ll • '«■••• constantly beln* ,»5r and will U JtW me.li'-s and methods wt year, are of great Tale?* il’ont.lir.OEOHQE^V 1 award Association. No si" Xlv order of the DW«!L_ . My. xiS-l m m bivj 1 y 1 CMKNTiN COOK- a£d gas j SAnxa ■;ti offering to the nablie *■ m: consuming 'i, which is destined to 9* r KSa FCRt \ *<»y. quickly ud regal**. • >jl km arises frost tbit -il consumed ere it can** euioko an that Uh pleasant ali<u consumed inside of y dancer of flue* or chin*' ii or the mortar looesnedby stovi-i are Invited total! at a '’(isonic Temple, and**. / UN SHIIHMAKKK, Aitentfar Btair CbsoUa. Parlor Cooking aaiTltsg {Aog.I2.IBMT E GAZETTE.— Crime anil Criminals 1* to - -iy circulated throngboat an Orest Trials, Criminal 1 . !i the som*N together with : nut to Vm ftntnd ia m> mm: $1 for six ipouthMs i xhonld write their names " Imre they reside olaiatsj e • MATBKUL k , : v York Police Qakette, . i ■ avw nk citf. : Lane’s . APED ... 1 Fuor PILLS. :o call the atten- T rade, and more y sicians of the the most popu cfore the public. ,c's Cclctratti . d Liver Fills. >mmcnd -them ts. ~ but simply for urpor^s,viz.: MJFUGE, oims from the 1: has 1 also been \ the most sat»* various Animal® . • it ruis, LK CoMfLAljm, t: C EMENTB,;SICIC In cases pf 3 AcUPi ' liter taking Qui i nvariably xnah® ruient cure* .V' the above men* v arc Unrivaled to fail whensd >:dance with;^P critcd popufentf • oprietor®. Brothers, v l/H, Pa. y m -r ; Drug bus*?£*» r c been success the last Tvco II now'givc W& nd attention.* 0 And being 4®" M’Lane’s Cde* and Liver Pd* occupy the Jug* l ■ hold amobg tb* : the day, r.rc neither tun* ocuring the P -rial, and con** • most thoroug dh orders to i, l ittsburgh, Fa. s ordering <• writ. •A •“”*,{!? Si ® flifl JkMim. 111®" jjeCBUM & JUBRN, :m<. 4. TUB ALTOONA TKIBDNfi. gcCBOM * DKBN, PnMlihM* andProprletor*. „nnm (payable in»arUWy ,n •*«“*«>) at tiia aspiration ofthe time l^for inm or itnnncn. > 1 insertion v 2 do. J do. '•“Wtt.-! *«* «* ‘»S Os.iUMre.t # u •/ 100 140 200 T*° “ r 24 .» ) 160 200 »60 three week* end >•« then three month*. 25cent*per for •* ch ln,crtio a month*. 6 month*. 1 year. , ■Ar left $ 160 *8 00 $6 00 BUI - ’ .*». 4100 7 00 0D*»«»»e, 4 00 6 00 10 00 T»o 8 00 «,00 12 00 n> ,e * «00' -1000 woo S.»u».. “5 «“ 15“ la. -clients»dr»rti»iß|f b 7 A® W*: t^ * in,ir ® , > n Ith liberty to change, _ . 'c. - tow P ,, iSfouiJ or Business C»rd»,not exceeding « N ■ a <ritli petier. per year* 8 00 to. ..nfeettauofa polltM chftraeterortndlTidualln will be charged according to, the abore sates. tdrcrtiseiienU not marked withthb number ofinsertion* ifjired, will be continued till forWti and charged according “,tlwshove terms. ' - : t , , , business notices five cent* per line for erery Insertion. Obituary notices exceeding ten Unevflity cents a square. tribune directory. CHURCHES, MINISTERS, fcC. PnsMtrian, Uev. A B. Cl.au,Pastor.—Preaching ev ,rt «»bb»th morning at 10U o’clock, and. in the evening at •it o'clock. Sahbath Sebum at 0 o’clock, A. M., In the Lcc lu7e Boom. Prayer. Meeting every Wednesday evening in thsitiDe room. Ikihoditl Episcopal, Rev 8. CutonToa,Pastor.—Preach ln* every Sabbath morning at 11 o'clock and in the even <o| gabbatb School In UieLecture Koom at 2 o’clock, J?. H General Prayer Meeting In aame room every Wedues jcy evening. Young Men’* Prayeri Meeting every Friday (Mine. fymgtlkal Lutheran, Rev. JacoaStict, Pastor.—Preach lac every Sabbath morning at lOUo’clock, and at 6U o’clock is the evening. Sabbath School, in the Lecture Room at ju; o'clock, ,P. M. Prayer .Heeling in sarnie room every IMiiwdav evening. Cnik-l lirtthrc.il, Rev. W. B. Diet, Pastor.—Preaching er ,7 sabbath morningat 10}£ o’clock and in the evening at ;l' o'clock. Sabbath School in the Lecture Room at 9 o'clock, A. M. grayer Meeting every Wednesday evening 12 uaie roam. Protestant K. W. Otxrsft, Hector.—Divine g,rvice every Sunday; at 10U a. M., and 7J4 o’clock P. M. Alec, every Wednesday evening at ly? Sunday School at We’clockA.M. 1 CfoAuic, Her. Jolts twipus, Pastor.—Preaching at o'c.iick in the morulng, and at in the afternoon. BapUtt. —Sabbath School at 9 o’clock, A. M. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening. African Methodiu, Rev. Semite Cut, Pastor.—Preaching «iery Sabbath morning at XI o’clock and in theevening, in ih» uM Union School lluuse. ALTOONA MAIL SCHEDULE. MAILS CLOSE. Extern Way at Western “ nollitlayilmife. Western Through, Intern Through Mail MAILS OPEN Eutern Through Mail, ,7 55 A. M. Western Through, - 735 “ Wtetern Way, 7 00 A. M. Intern “ , 626 P. H. Midaysburg v 730 A. M. and 616 “ Office open fur the transaction oflmsineee from A3O A M. bT3O P.M./dufing the week, and ft pm 7.30 to 8.30 o'- tluck, on Sunday. ' \ June V57-tf] JOHN SHOEMAKER, P. M. RAILROAD SCHEDULE. Kipren Train East arrives 1,25 A. JU-, leaves 1,30 A. M. West ■¥"■ 7,65 “ “ 8,16 ‘' hit “ East “ 9.05 P.M. “ 0,20 P.M. " , West « 8,10 P. M., « 8,25 P.M. Mail <> “ East A. M. “ 7,60 A.M. “ West “ 6,25 P.M., “ 6,40 P.M. Tli. 1101-LIDATBBOBQ BRANCH connects with Express i«in East and West, and with Mad East and West. The ULAIUSVILLKBRANCU connects with Johnstown Train East and West, Express Train West and Mail Trsiu Kant. Korember 23,1858. THOS. A. BCOTP, Sup't. ' MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS- Maintain Lodge, A. Y. M., No. 281, meeteon second Tues daj- of each month, in the third story of the Slaeonic Tem ple. at 7*s o’clock, P. M. • - Mountain Encampment, A. Y. M-, No.lo, meets on the fourth T itesday of each month, in the third story of the Ma loaic Temple, at o’clock, P. 51. Altoona Lodge, 1. O. qf O. F„ No. 473. meets every Friday lt cning, in Hie second story of the Masonic Temple, at ~]A o'clock, |». M. ’\- Veranda Lodge , 1.0.: of 0. P., No. 632, meets every Friday *'eniug,ln the third W&ry of Patton’sßuilding, on Virginia street, at 7 o’clock; P. M. i Winnehtyn Tribe,, No, 36, I. 0. it. JI„ .hold stated Coun cil" every Tuesday evening In the 1. O. 0. F. Hail, in the Mv-ndr Temple. Connell Fire kindled at 7th run 30lii ’-ml,, w. V. ADAMS. C. of Hi '{June 25, '57-ty Junior Sms ~f America, Camp No. 31. meets every Mon ciynight in the third story of Patton’s Hall, at 7^o’clock hj.-'.iiijfon Camp. X». 54, J. S. of A., meets every Tuesday evening, in the 2d story of Patton’s Hull. Altoona Dirislon, Ah. 311, S. of T., meets every Satur i"y evening, in Hie Odd Fellocks’ Hall, ilasonic Temple. Altoona Mechanic s' Library and Reading Roam Associa t>m meet* statedly on.the Ist Saturday evening in Janua -7 April. July and October. Board of Directors meet on tie lit Tuesday evening in each month. Room open from o to 10 o’clock every evening, (Sunday excepted.) COUNTY OFFICERS. Ju dget if iht (hurts. —President, Hon. decree Taylor.— iwocUtes, J. Penn Jones. David Caldwell; ™tt«»ij«arp--Jo9oph Baldridge, pilfer and Recorder— Hugh A. Caldwell. Sheriff— James Funk. District Attorney —Benj. 1,. Uewit. (bUnty Oommußontrs —Jacob Barnhart, J. R. McFar koe, Enos M. Jones. Clerk to Commissioners —Hugh A. Caldwell. Mercantile Appraiser— Joseph 0. Adlmn. Oiunty Surveyor—Jamal L. Qwlnn. Trr unrer— John f.lngafelt A’otitors S. Morrow. A. C. .McCartney, J OB . IL Hewitt. 1 Fb KUdIT . DCra * or, ~ Geor & Reaver, Samuel Shiver, (W/uer-—Wltliain Tox. •lupcriniendint ef Chmmon School «—John Dean. ALTOONA BOROUGH OFFICERS ■ a ®° d «' J ‘ M,Cbcrr 7‘ Tmn Ojiijy-fjhjohn Allison, .Robert Green, Robert B. Daniel Price, Uearjr'B; Sperlo*. iVeiui-j it of m son. I - tjjrfr to (oimctt—Joseph O. Adlnm. Treasurer— Daniel Price. ! ' ■ : Of r(! ctow~C. a Sink. C. C. Mason, Otonc W. 9-»cCo rm ‘':k- B.P.Bose, Oeo.B.Cramer. /hont-Wm. CMcCormlck. ??VO>n4fai6tfr—Joseph K. Ely. , McMlnn, David Galbraith. Jacob Bierbower. - t Jteewra-Mlcliocl Clabaagb, 'A. Allows,, EJecttette-East WarddTA.Alexandex. u “ West « K. Greenwood. ' i__ . North “ : Jacob Bottenberg. «ii*der,-Eaft W*rt-Hemy Bell. Jacob Saint « west -«v *.B.McCnim. Jacob Hesscr. North." O. W. Harman. John Condo. (Groceries. —a large and i«tLt assortment of Groceries liavejnst been re the store of J.B, HI LEMAN. fIARPET BAGS, TRUNKS, UM- Ifin Ac., can be bought cheaper at H. TDCH’S ” M I other place in the conn try. [Dec. 0.1868 (V HAND AT McCORMICK’S Store (Vli s plendld assortment of Ready-Made clothing. T? 1 * •*■'Nov.26.-tt A SUPPORTERS, Trus- Cf Braces for sale at KESSLERS. 7 20 A.M 7 25 A.M 7 20 A. M. and 6 00 P. M «00 “ 730 “ WEST BRANCH FIRE, LIVE STOCK AND HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANY. OF LOCK HAVEN, PA. R. A. O. KERR, AGENT, ALTOONA. BLAIR COUNTY, PA. i $300,0001 Premium Notes* $162,000 Chartered, 1866—Charter .Perpetual. Will Inrars against Fire and Sickness. Also, on first class Horses, Hides and Cattle at reasonable rates. V lUULTB DEPARTMENT. Pi® w ?** l y payment of this Company to thine incapaci *,ckn“» or ardent, equals the W * , ? l n^* po * lt- ¥o / tMtaocerhy paying at the rate of 8 3P 00 --- do do 20 00 .ff‘S dS 2? v 8000 wOO do do 86 00 40 00 ■ do do . 40 00 so 00 do do SOO DQICTIAft ' T T Abram, Tice IWt, Thoa Kitchsn, Sec y, ; Wm Krorscm, Trea*., DKJaeklnan, Peter Dickinson, Wm White, ChasA Mayer, Samuel Christ, John B Hall. ThoEpurd of Directors submit the following testimonial from Governor Wm. F. Packer, showing the reputation of the Company at home: . v , WnitAJfSKmT, Px., August 6, 1857. I a ?> P«rjonalljt acquainted with the Directors and Offl ccn or the West Branch Insaraneo Company at Lock Ha ven. Pa., and cheerfully bear testimony to their high cbar ac“r ** business man. A company under their control will undoubtedly be safely and prudently managed, and alnottiet which it.muy sustain honorably adjusted. Uay 6, 1&59*0m GREAT OPENING OF SPRING AND SUMMER , (£> ££> 0 JB. HILEMAN HAS JUST RE • ccived and opened at bis old stand, on Virginia at., a large and attractive assortment of seasonable goods, com prising ail the novelties In BEREGES DCCALS, CHINTZES, LAWS'S, GINGHAMS, , ■ „ EMBROIDERIES LACES, HOSIERY <t GLOVES, and all varieties and textures of LADIES DRESS GOODS together with a full'assortment of goods for gentlemen’s wear, such as Cloths, Cassimcres and Vestings. Also-a fall stock of Hardware, Queensware and I GROCERIES. and an assortment of BOOTS, SHOES, GAITORS. &C., of all sizes and styles, which equal to any in the market, and will be sold at lair prices. Having recently enlarged my store-room, I can how display my largely increased stock to better advantage and would respectfully invite everybody to call. May 12,1859. IyTEW GROCERY AND LIQUOR X v STORE.—The undersigned would beg leave to an nounce to the citizens of Blair county and vicinity that he haa opened his new Store on Yirgitua street, three doors below the Superintendent's O/Tice,-where he has Just received from the East and TVest a Urge assortment of Foreign and Domestic Liquors, ■ consisting as follows: ffyetuh Otari Brandy, Cognac Brandy, Peach j Brandy, Cherry Brandy, Old Burgundy I Wine, Old Port M me, Jamaica Rum, / Holland Gins Old Rye Whiskey, Monongahda Whiskey, and Rhine Wine. which ho has himself imported. Retailers of Liquors and Farmers will find It to their advantage to bnv of him aa he wUI sell at CITV PRICES. 7 ’ Hu will also keep constantly on hand on assortment of GROCERIES, Such at Flour. Bacon, Salt, Fi»h, Tobacco, Se ga™. Syrup, Sugar, toffee, <Vc. sc., AU of which will be sold cheap for Cash orCountry Produce- Our friends anil the public generally are respectfully in vited to give us a call before purchasing elsewhere, Altoona. May 26.1859,-tf D. B. GOOD, V. D. J. M OBMMCLL, M. D. DKS. GOOD & GEMMILL hav ing entered into Partnership in the Practice of Mediclnei respectfully tender their services to tlie Public in the several branches of their Profession, Calls will be answered cither day or night at tbeir offlr —which is tbejmmo os heretofore occupied by DM. Hirst & Good, —or at the Logan House. v Dr. GEMMILL REFERS TO Daviq Gilbert. 31. D.. Prof. Obstetrics in Penn*a Medical College, Philadelphia. K. Gurnet Smith. M. D., Prot Institutes of Medicine in i’enn’a Medical College. .Tons .Neill, Mi D.. Prof. Surgery in Pa. Med. Col™ and Sur geon to the Pa. Hospital, Philadelphia J. B. Lttdcn. M D, Huntingdon. Pa John McCulloch, 11D, “ ' John Scott, Esq, “ | ' VTm Dorris. Jr, Esq, “ , IV*m SI Lloyd. Esq. HoUidaygborg, ' John Cre&swcll, Jr, Esq, Samuel Miliiken, Esq, Bell’s Mills, Gen BF Bell, «• John Bell. Esq. “ . April 21« t, lS69\im Du. WM. 11. FINLEY HE- * SPECTFXILLT offers bis services to tlie people of Altoona and the Joining,country. He may be found at the office heretofore oc- S|V copied by Dr. 6. D.'Thomas. Altoona. Sept. 30, 1855.-tf BE. ROYER, M. D., • Offers his professional services to the citUens of Altoona and vicinity. The best of references can be given If required. - Office at residence on Branch street. East Altoona, three doom above Conrad’s Store.' . April 2S ’69-ly. r^ENTISTEY.—DR. S. KIjVIaMELL, LJ OPERATIVE <£ MECHANICAL DENTIST. " Ttoth inserted; fronloiieto a MU set, on Oold of Silver Plate. * ■. JMltb with Gold, and warranted for ten years. Teeth Extracted by the Electro Magnetic Machine with out Pain. All operations and work done cheaper than anywhere e?se ir, the counter, and a deduction made, of the railroad ’fim all| tipera _BoS- Offlce on Montgomery Btreet, oppoeite the Exchange Hotel, HolUdayghairg, Pj>. K r [Dec. 16,1888-ly WM. S. BITTNER* StTRG-E'Oar DENTIST. r|FF;CE IN THE MASONIC TEM- V/ PLB. Teeth extracted without pain by the Electro Magnetic Machine. •<•••’:. 1 ' ■ ' f Dec. 23. *68.-tf 49* A Stndent waqted. BL AIR COUxNTY insurance MIKNCY.—TI»e nndenigned, Agent of the Bbur Ooiiuty Mtjtuul Tiro r Insurance Company, Skint all y ol ®* to inanre against loss or damage by tstai, Fumiiurt and Property, of (srir&de*- criptfem, In town or country, af aa reasonable raterai anv Jn tbe State, Office wltb &ell. JoKn»toii t Jmclc 4 27, ’69-tf !> ?• CALDWELL. J^ t . Jy COMING COUNTY MUTUAL -J r’lBE INSURANCE AGENCY.—The nu4enlgned, agent of the Lycoming Mutual Fife Insurance Company, Is at all times ready to iiuraroagiiinst loss or damage by tiro, BuiUlingt, Merchandm, Furmtnrr. and Properly of every description, in town or country, at as reasonable rates m any company in the State. Office in the Masonic Teninlo. Jah. 3, ’fiS-tf]. JOHN SHOEMAKER, Agent. c IRE AT WESTERN INSURANCE \JT aND TRCiSI COMPANY.—lnsurance on Real or personal property will be eflected on the most reasonable tenna hy their agents ia Altoona at his office In Anua St. Jfsrehll.lW JOHN -Agntf. Tbot%h many a stricken heart will bleed afresh and many a manly *ye grow dim with tears over the remrm trance of a reality which the following' eantifui Itueswill ®° oae, we are sure, will censure us for publish- “ Dear I : dear I uo toast, boiled as hard as brickbats, and the coffee stone cold,”;and; Mr. Peters rose from the break last table in a temper by no ui- ans amia ble, and rang the boll violently. There was no answer! He rang again, a third, a fourth time, still no answer ' Ou of ail patience, lie Wt nt to the door and called Maria!! Maria !” LOUIS PLACE A slight, pretty littL woman, dressed in a soiled tumbled wrapper, with hair in state of direful confusion answered the summons.: She had one of those round bright faces which Nature intended should be decked with continual smiles, but now, with all ita fuses in; bloom, it was drawn out to its full length, and the large blue eyes hud a serious or rather a doleful ex pression, Totally at variance with their usual joyous look. Her voice, too, hud lost melodious, ringing sound, and was .subdued to p. dismal whine. “ What; is it Joseph ?” “ W!herp’s Bridget ?” % “ Gpne iodt for me. I want more white ribbon; forimiy ascension robe.” Mr.;Pfetefs said a very naughty word,' and then Continued, “ Cold coffee, hard eggs, not fit to eat.” “ 1 wisfi/f whined his wife, “ you would think less of temporal- mutters, and turn your attention to the great end of life.’* “ Hang! it all, madam, I would like to enjoy ffiy,|ife while Ido have it Here -was I, i thei happiest man in the United States,. with a pleasant borne, a chatty, cheerful, laying wife, and good quiet children, and now, since you have joined the what am I ?” “ 08, Joseph, if you would only come; into that Messed circle!” “Oh, Mafia, if you would come out of it. WherO are the boys V* “ 1 am share X don’t know." “ Afe Hfey going to school to-day ?” “My deari their teacher has given up. the school,; and' is turning her mind to more Exalted;objects. Oh! Joseph, turn is time. You have still a Week;; for preparation and repentance.” “ Repentance!■; Well, when I take up the snhje|tt it will take rather more than a wees; to put it through. : /■ '■ Ahdj.Mrj ’Peters put oh his coat and took up hie bat. 1 ■ • • “ said his wife, “ you need not send home any dinner. I shall he put, and I’ll take, the boys oyer to their uncle’s tO dine.” ; ! Joe niadc no answer,- unless the vio lently emphatic ipaoner in which he closed: iheaoor wSa one;r, ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1859. Skied Ipoftrg. the dying wife. Lay the gem upon my bosom. Let me feel her sweet, warm breath, • For a strange chill o'er me'passes, ; And T,-know that it is death. ' I would [gaze upon the treasure— i Scarcely given ere I go, Peel her'rosy, dimpled fingers, : Wander o'er my cheek of snow. Ziun patting through the waters, .; But a’ibleast-d shore appears, Khecl beside me, husband dearest I ■ Let mo kins away thy tears; Wrestle with thy grief, my husband 1 j Strive from midnight until day, * It duty have an angel's blessing, When it vanishes away. Lay the gem upon my bosom, *Tis not long she can be there Seel how to my heart she nestles, - Tis the pearl I love to wear, v If in after years, beside thee : Sits another in my chair. Though-her voice be sweeter music, And her lace than mine more lair— \ If a cherub calls thee •' father,” Far more beautiful than this. Love tfiy first-born : 0. my husband I ■ Tarn, not from the motherless. Tell liar sometimes of herimother. Yoa will call her by my name f :■ Shield her from the winds of sorrow; If she err, oh 1 gently blame. Lead her sometimes where I’m sleeping, I will answer if she, calls, And my breath will stir her ringlets : When my voice in blessing falls. And her sulft btach eyes wilt brighten With wonder whence it came; In my heart when years pass o'er her, She will find her mother's name. It is said that every mortal Walks between two angels here; One redud* the ill, but blots it, If before the midnight drear Mku repenteth; if uncancelled. Then-he seals it fur the skies, And the right hand angel weepeth-, Bending low with veiled eyes. I will be her right hand angel. Sealing np the good for Heaven, Striving that the midnight watches iFind no misdeeds unforgiven. Ypn will not forget me, husband, : When I'm sleeping ’ocath the sod) Oh I love rite Jewel given us, ,As I love thee next to God. Uliscdlaujj. 31 r. Peters- First Wife. [independent in everythin®.] his bachelor friends, Fred Somers, who looked up as he heard Joe’s order. “ Hallo!” ae cried, “you here ? Why, what are you doing here at breakfast time ? Wife sick ?" “ No!” “ Then why don’t you take breakfast at home ? Chimney on fire ?” “ No!” “ Then, what in thunder is to pay ?” “ Maria’s joined .he Millerites !” Fred, gave a long whistle, and then said, “ Going to ascend next week I" “ Yes, and if i don’t commit suicide in the you may congratulate me. lam almost distracted. Can’t get a decent meal, children running riot, ser vants sau'sy, house all in confusion, wife in the blues, either quoting the sp.eches of the elders at me, or sewing on a white robe, and groaning every third stitch.— Hang it all, Fred, I’ve a great mind to take poison, or join the army I” “ H’m ? h’m ! you give an enchanting picture, but I think I can suggest a cure.” “ A cure I” “ \es, if you will promise to follow my advice, I will make your home pleasant, your wife cheerful, and your children happy.” “Bo it,” cried Joe. “I’ll follovJ’'your word like a soldier under his office. What shall I do ?” At tea-time Mr. Peters entered his home, whistling. Maria was seated at the table, sewing on her white robe, and there were no signs of preparation for the even ing meal. “Maria, my dear,’’’ said Mr. Peters cheerfully, “ is tea ready “ 1 don’t know,” was the answer. “ have been out all day, attending meeting.” “Oh, very well, never mind. Attend ing meeting ‘t You arc resolved, then, to leave me uext week ?” “ Oh ! Joe I must go when I am called.” “ Yes, my dear, of course. Well, L must resign myself, I suppose. By the way, my dear, has it ever occurred to you that I .shall be left a widower with three children ? I think lam a handsome man yet, my love,” and Joe walked over to the glass, passed his fingers through his hai; and pulled up his collar. Maria looked up, rather surprised. “ Tou see, my dear, it is rather a relief for you to go quietly, you know. It is so wearing on the nerves to bare a long ill ness , and besides, my dear, there wiTl he no funeral expenses, and that is quite a 'saving.” Mrs. Peters’ lip quivered,and her lar-ae blue eyes filled wit h tears. Joe longed '"to stop his he.rt ess speech and comfort her. iiut ho was tcarlu. the desired point was not gamed yet. “ t>o, my dear," he continued “if you mus. go, i have been thinking ul gettin ,r another wife." “ What '! ' cried Mrs Peters. “ Another wife, my love. The house must be kept in order, and the boys cared for.” , The grief was gone from Maria’s face, but hot teeth were set wi.h a look offieree wrath. “ Yes. I think I have selected a good successor. I deliberated a long time, when I was a bachelor, •uetween her and yourself. You will like her, for she is your bosom friend.” “ My bosom friend !” “Yes, my dear. I think on the day that you asceud, I will marry Sarah Ingram!" “What! that good-for-nothing, silly, empty-headeu bid maid, the mother of my Children ! U’hat I” “No doubt! Oh I you great brutal, hateful ” “Stop, my dear, don’t fly into a fury ! We will try to spend our last week in happiness! Oh, by the way I have ,a pro position to make,” “Go on, sir! Don’t spare me!” “ Ah, yes, that is the very thing I wish to do. I know your mind is entirely eu grossed with your ascension, and I wish to spare you the care of the house. Sup pose vou invite Sarah here to-morrow, to spend a week!” “ What?” “ Then J can. arrange oar matrimonial preparations in the evening, while yon are at the lecture.” ' “ And you can leave the house in her charge all day. That will give you plenty of time to go out,, and nhe can learn the ways about in the house.” “What?” ’ “ And, my dear, ope little favor. It iPay .be we last 1 shall ever ask. Stay at home one'oif two days won't you, and show her round where you keep things, and so on, see that she won't have any trouble In keeping order alter you go.- You will do this to oblidgome, won’t you?” Mn. Peters, for answer, roUedimthe ascension, robe into a ball and fired itat iJoe. The cotton, scissors, work-basket, yipid suoceeeiopttiat he was «osib4«fveQ “ Had a quarrel t” “No!” “ Gone out of town V* “No !” “ Servants all dead ?” “ No ?” “ Another wife, Joe ! Another wife ! ’ “ What 7” to fly. Then Maria’s rage found vent in i Gcttlni to Heaven bj way aff words. jj 1 K«W Orleans. iC So! Ton and Sarah! That’s the reaaon you whistled when you caine in. You will be very glad to have me go, and marry her, won’t you? No doubt of it! But you shan’t marry her, sir ! Yon shan’t have that gratification ! 1 will stay, if it is only to spite you ! I won’t go M tell you Mr. Peters, I won’t go!” “ But, my dear you must go if you are come for !” “ I won’t go !” “ But consider, my dear 1” “ I won’t go !” “ But what will Sarah think ?” “ Sarah ! Don’t dare to ihention Sarah to me again ! I—l—-oh !—I am fairly choakiug!” and the little woman threw herself into a chair, in a fit of hysterics. Next morning, Mr. Peters met Fred in the street. “ Well old boy, how goes it ?” “ Fred,” was the reply, “ I am the hap piest man in the world ! I have regained my wife and domestic peace, and got rid of a busy, tattling old maid, who’ under pretence of loving my wife was everlast ingly interfering in our .household ar r.iugeim nts.” “Then Mrs. Peters will not ascend?” “No If Sarah is to be. my second wife, and step-mother fo my children, Mrs. P. has concluded that she won’t go !’ Very Old but Good Mr. Slang hud just married his second wife. On the day after the wedding, Mr. Slang said : ' “ 1 mean to enlarge my dairy.” “ You mean our dairy, my dear,” replied Mr- Slang. ; “I say I shall enlarge my dairy,” said Mr. Slang. i “ Say our dairy, Mr. Slang.” “No, my dairy.” “ Say our dairy, my dear,” screamed Mrs. Slang seizing the poker. “My dairy! my dairy 1” vociferated the husband. “ Our dairy ! our dairy 1 our dairy !” re-echoed the wife, emphasizing each word with a blow of the poker upon the back of her cringing spouse. Mr Slang retreated Sunder the bed. In passing nder the bed cloths, Mr. Slang’s hat was brushed off. He remained there several minutes. At length his wife saw his head peering from under the bed like a toirtoise from its shell. “What are you looking for, Mr. Slang ?” •>ay she. “ 1 am looking, my dear, to see if I Can see anything of our hat.” The struggle was -over. And ever since Mr. Slang has avoided this odious singular possessive noun. An Unexpected Question. —At a village called “The Centre,”’ in the Northern part of Vermont, tne boys and girls, last month, • had a glorious dance and a gay time generally. A youth not having the fear of the bottle belure his’ eyes, managed to get decidedly in the fog upon this unwonted occasion, and slyly withdrew under tl>e bed of the ladies’ dressing room to recruit. Np sooner had he closed his eyes than a pair of humming damsels came in from the ball, and began adjusting their disordered ringlets. The girls had tongues, which ran in this wise : “ W hut a nice dance we’re having. Have you beard anybody say anything about me Jane ?” “ La, yes, Sally ! Jim Brown says he never saw you look so handsome as you do to night. Have you Beard anything about mo ? “ About you! why, sartin ; I heard Joe Flint tell Sdm Jones that you was the prettiest dressed girl in the room.” When upon the dear things chuckled, “ fixed up” a little more, and were starting off glibily for fresh gossip, when our half conscious friend raised him self upon his elbow, and quite intelligibly i hough slowly inquired, “ Ha’ you heard any bony, say anything about me, girls !” “ Phansy their pheelinks” at this junc ture. They fled with an explosive scream. Was’nt Acquainted. —Two drunken fellows were walking along in the rain.— The drunkest one then asked:— “ Dick (hie) does-er rain (bic)!” “In coarse it rains,” said Hick, ; The answer Was apparentlylsatisfastory, and they proceeded several jrpdsfarther, when the question was again r propoand«d by the anxious searcher aftertrutbunder difficulties. ,1- .V-i,' ■ “ Dick, I say.© (bic) tell me doecer raih ' : i >■i "• “ Johnny,” said Dick solemnly,“ I’m afraid yer. drunk fin coarse we ramiag.” lb * f«W minutes JOhii was. again troubled with doubts, and sought to solve them.'"' " v '" """ “ Wbjc, seems-pr pie (hie) ser-going (khrt er-rain (hie) I" " Dick exsspewted-—** Johnny, yef a fool. Don't yeraeeitisa rainin'. Can’t yey feel lt Souse me D (hio).laint much in ttnd town £hio). w tSLi In thu names of whattwo goddes ses’ cpolda piah ackpowledge himself a dehfcot II Jao, 10~1 «k|Knpf <»na ‘ S ill, sir, I hope to combat these stfic* cess fully.” “ I hope you will, my dear Christian brother,” was the reply. “ 1 hope you will and let me gm you this much for your consolation in case, you aliould fall from grace. The tempter is worse than the sin, and the greater the temptation, the more merit there is in resisting it— The man who goes to Heaven bjf icaj£ of JVpio Orleans, is sure to have twice as high a place in eternal glory as he who reaches Paradise through the quiet portals of Connecticut or Pennsylvanian” : Sing ulas Pheak.—An un married man by the name of Philip Fesiuau, residing about a mile this side of New .London, Oneida county, came to his death a fow days since, by the adoption of asingular and extraordinary freak. He tivedwHh bis mother a widow woman, and abdut a year ago he took it into bis head that he ought not to eat anything but bread and water; he livid on that diet alone until about five nr six weeks ago, when he again took a notion that his hands were so dirty that be ought not to eat bread ;and water he would not drink only os he inspected it in the bucket as it came from the well ; and sometimes he would require that a number ol puilarul should be drawn before he would drink For forty-three days before his death he eat not a mouthful as his mother is positive. He would wash his hsipis frequently for an hour at a-time; whilst he lived on bread, he would require that his part should be baked by itself and then -he would break off and eat it, as he wanted it. When he bee.me so weak that ho couldn't go out, then he would carefully inspect the waiter brought him. If was a singular freak ; he was doubtless partially insane, although he talked pretty well on other subjects. —Rome {N. Y) Sentinel. What Hunqkh Hoks.—lt is hunger which brings uavi.es together in orderly gangs to cut paths through mountains, to throw bridges across rivers, to intersoot the laud with the great iron ways which bring city into daily communication with city- Hunger is the overseer of those open erecting palaces, prison-houses, barracks, and villas. Hunger sits at the loom, which, with stealthy power, is weaving the wondrous fabrics of cotton and silk. Hhn> ger labors at tho furnace aid;the plqw, coercing the native indolence of map into strenuous and incessant activity. Pet food be abundant andriasy of access, add civil* ization becomes impossible; for our higher efforts are dependent on our lower im pulses in an indissoluble manner. Noth* ing but the necessities of food will force man to lab jr, which be hates and wiU al ways avoid when possible. ■ s ' Just 50.— ,4 \Vhat did yoQ'.-gjve that blood-mare of yonrs the other dav when she had the bbt* f' street “ A pint of spirita bf turpentine;” ' Two days after the same parties mefein the street. .v. . ‘‘Say,'look o’here, X gave mr nuna pint of turpentine, and, hy Juve, St killed her” “So it did mine f” Was theioply; 7. Fkmalk PopuLAßixy.— lf awoman wishes to be a generalfavorite with ner female acquaintances, she has only tdper init them to outdress her. The mote in tent they are on gewgaws and decorations, the more profound will be the respect-loir her who totally disregards them/ one Took amongst his or her friendk' fod see if she who is moat beloved is not* one of less pretension to fancy than those around her. * ‘ • ' v . - V?n. • lrishmen were going to fire off ■ cannon just for fun j hut being of a rsther economical turn of mind, they did notirfsh f° loose the ball. So one of them tctek an tron kettle in band to catch it ifi} and stationing himself in front of the piece,'he exclaimed to the other who stooa hemnd it, holding a lighted tereb« 4 <s^|iKjt isr. -A”' ■ '■ -W-/V- EDITORS AND PBOFBIS^rOHK The Philadelphia correspondent of the New York jtives the following: We have a Methodist preacher here who is a jolly; wag. A few days sincere young man who had been attached to his church, and who was about to leaue for New Orleans, came to bid his pastor tore well. ' “ And so you are going to that erated place, New OrleahS, are you?" 1 “Yes, sir: but I don't expect to beill* fluenced by an extraneous pressure ofant kind," responded th® youngman, with considerable earnestness. « Well, I am glad to see! you so cohft* dent. I hope the Lord will guide you.— But do you know the temptationa which exist there V* V% “ No: not particularly.” “Well, i do; you’ll find wanton women in the guise of Paris* tcmptingthore>y elect; and rare wines and ardent drillin'; and you’ll find gay company, and night brawling, and gambling and dissipation, and running alter the lust of the old Wn Adam.” . , ' J’ 4 * /' i ss*i NO. M.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers