Oi ftp «»—■* - - .: Uilreurd, affeet*SS?f£ low of Uic aarft.l IliMaaes, •idt^^S2s2 oa victinui of anefttfiESy** ice thou- lu cases ct»K free of eharmtUY turn commands UtohtoifJf ill furnish the mtet I ■>n. In their Annual Uenrut 1- rHioa, express the hlrW 1 the UkZ ocuwofSuiwaaongE'. • t*un 'urrhgua, Gleet o-* 'elf-abusc, Ac., and ir the ensuing year. * ' ,)l0 h-eit, feel assured that cucrolcnt effort l«tvTbe«» o.eiK.ciallylotheyoun e 7S uisolves, with h despised cause. "*> permntorrlioen, or Seminal mu Maaturhutioa, or irfr , ■sexual orgnjjs, by thn-CoJC ! v mail (i„ u aealJuSS* receipt of 1 WO STMtPa ‘ Tracts on the nature and . .. m e constantly being pab. ■n, and will he sent to tb% ledies ami method# of eJr£ t year, are of gr^ral^* 1, . uent,Dr.GKOHOISXOAL. o'vard Association,No.2a! By order ortho UEAllTWfflt; JP**?' ' SC/j m M ENT IN COOK- AXD GAS AXD iutlK? in i>fit:rilig to tho Dahlia a KK COXSCMISO ■ :' York Pol lew Gazette. \ .V<» IM (%, pane’s \TED FUQU PILLS. o call the atten >ade, and more fsicians of the the most popu forc the public. (’s Celrkrttcd I Liver Pills. mmend themas but simply for irports, viz.: -11FUGE,, rms from th£ t has- also ,been the most satis-e arious Animals I FILLS, R COMPLAIKT*, cements. Sick In cases of i Ague, : ~ ter taking invariably make nent cure. the above men? r are Unnva3e4» to fail whep ad dance w;th the • 'V , ■ r » . ~v \ r.ted popularity iprietors. 11 OTHERS* h, Pa. Drug business, ; been he last Twenty now give thmr d attention **> Andbdtsg^ M’Lane’s Cele md liver PlHs >ccupy the high ioid among the the day, they ire neither time curing the Best dal, and com most thorough all orders to rutsbiirgh,lßa* entering froraother»th»® vr-tc theircracrtdWlMi »• i- ffinhiflß to S* T ® ,-t paM. ‘o»nriS£L?vSt li r twelve thW» i 4 00. 0 00 10 00 fro " \ 8 00 8 00 12 00 IB* ■ 6 00 10 00 , 14 00 I xt " , 10 00 14 00 20 00 0 1 rolcmn, 14 00 25 00 40 00 i p xfC „| U rs Notices, 178 IS2«Oi«W year, throe .quotes^ r ,’^!!nM‘or t 0 Cards, not exceeding 8 mith i«iM?r, |w*r year, 6 00 ' , „ir Jtiulii ef a political character or individual lu ..rcording to the above rates. >■"*• *[j„, mrn t» not marked with the number of insertions be ‘continued till forbid and charged according cents per line for every, insertion, notice. exceeding ton linos, fifty cent* a squire. tribune directory. CHURCHES, ministers, &c. Itov. A 11. CiARK, Pastor.—Preaching ev 'ultotli nwruiuitat lo; j o'clock, and in thu evening at rlw 1 . Sabbath School at U o'clock, A, M., in the Lec- Prayer Meeting wery Wednesday evening bi Rev .< CnaoHTOX. Pastor.'—Preaeh „r, Sabbaili iiioriiiiig :»i H o'clock and in the oven- mIioo! iii tin. lecture Room at 2 o'clock, I*. ; ; ij'wwl Pruvu Meeting In same room every: Wcdnes- : ir ,;, uiu< . Vu’ung .Men's Prayer Meeting cvcry-Friday ' laik‘c4 LuOtrran, Hot. Jcron Stick, Pastor,—Prcach *(Kr>S«bbstli morning at 10*, o'clock, aikd at 6j4o'clock '•id (tiling. Sabbath School in the Lecture Room at .""'■Wi., P. M. Prayer Meeting in iuuue room every sic ;iar even jug. Urrlhj-m. Uuv. W. U. Dxck,Pastor. —Preaching ev n»|.iath morning at 10}* o’clock and in the evening at . jVket. Sabbath School in thu Lecture Room at fl ,-Ll, A. M. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening fGtHII. tManl A>iirr.pul, Hey- It- Ouvtlußector.—Divine yninevery Sunday, at 10J4 A. M.. and ~t\o o'clock P. 3i. j>4every Wednesday cvcnuigat 7‘jsl'Urg .7 30 A. 51, anti 616 14 {&-< “i*u for the traueactiun oflmrinefs from (L3O A M. f. M., during the work, and Dom 7.Q0 to 8.3 U o'- ui-'J; Sunday, tel, ’37-tfJ JOHN’ BIIOESIAKEU, P. M. RAILROAD SCHEDULE. Ityt.H Tndn East arrives 1,25 A. M., leaves 1,30 A. M. ‘ “ West “ 7.35 “ “ B,la •« I* '• Kn-l “ 0,05 P. M. W-st “ 8,10 P. M„ h. “ 7,:is A. M. • " w-n •« «.a p.si, “ «,40 p, ii. !.s YHDUUO BRANCH connects with Express KJtut and West. and with Mall Train East ami West. IkBI.AIIISVIM.K BRANCH connects with Johnstown •» Train fU-i mid W(isl, Express Train Weal and Mail It-. tvt. l.'yairtt'JJ, ISSS. meetings of ass9ciations- Wlauiiii» Lkl'jf. k. V. SI., No. 2SI, moetmni second Tues t'it »wh month. in tpe third story of the Masonic Tcm- RuThjuVluck,P. M. EueaJij>mmt, A. Y. SI., No 10, meet, on the wok Tuesday nf etch month, in the third story of the Mu '-»< 1-rai.lo. at V,i u'ohick. I*. M. Luljf, I. o. ,if (I. F-. No. 473.' meets every Friday "'ra;, Ui the second story of the Masonic -Temple, at 7l< *'*i. r. H. r Teran-f.j |. 0. of rt. F., No. 532. meets every Frida "nht.fu Itir third story of Patton’s Building, on Virginia ■«;Ut ;ij.. -clock. P.M. Viniri-v;., 7W.V. No. 35, X. O. R. 51, bold stated Coun -1 ■to y lursday evening in the I. 0.0. F. Hall, in tin; " l: Tnnjiie. Connell Fire kindled At 7th run 30th *h W. A. ADAM.-t. V. nf n. [June 25. ’57-ly •'-‘n r .'wn» nf Amrrint, Camp No. SI. meets every Mull t* F v i|s,;l iu li * , story of Patton's Hall, at 7 Jij o’clock o'.-’ijfi.i; Oniio, y.\ 51. J, x nf A meets every it, tin; 2d story of Patton's Hall. , ™ ll .Vo. 311, A'! nf 71, meets every Satnr -I«i-Iilng. in the Odd Fellows’ Hall. Masonic Temple. L ~ WIW Uirh’micj' f.ihrarf and Reading Room Attoeia , .“r I*‘•atedir 1 *‘•atedir on the Ist Patnrday evening in Jamm 11.I 1 .' 1 , “duly and octijher. Board of Directors meet on lain . fT enlng in each month. Boom open from lu u clock to cry evening, (Sunday excepted ) COUNTY OFFICERS. *>'* of the Ontrti.—President. Hmi. George Taylor.— 'Wn, J. p enn Jones. David Caldwell. ■’’’ftmiof ary—Joseph Baldridge. "JUiV and DreonUr —Hugh A. Caldwell. fnf— James Funk. ;«nW Altnrneg—JUsuj. L. liewit. l \*«"**ioiun—JacJb Barnhart, J. 11. McFar w. Kilo. M. Jones. g!i A. Caldwell. n .' u dj>praiur—Jw, v l, o. Adlum. Surrei/or— James h. Owlnn. hingaielt. i‘. ~ Il,rr" '-v- A.C. McCartney, Joe.' R. Hewitt. ; iVd.«“ Qeo rjf» Weaver, Vamncl Shiver, J*“w-William For. '•Pnnt-.vl'nt 2O 00 *}° *» ~ ®»00 00 do do 2i> 00 *0 00 do do -40 00 60 00 do do 55 00 1 - go Harvey, Pres’t, IT Abram, Vice P«*'t, fhos Kitchen, Sec>, Vm Pearson, Treas., S K «M C , kuuui * - Peter Dickinson, M m \t hite, Chfts A Maver, Stmiuel Christ, John B Hall. The Board of Directors submit'the following testimonial from Governor Wm, F. Packer, showing the repatatlen of tho Company at home: IVttITAMEPORT, Pi., August 5, 1857. I am personally acquainted with tho Directors and Offl cers of tlie IVost Branch Insurance. Company at Lock Ha ven. Pa., and cheerfully bear testimony to their high cliar ac.«r men. A company under their control will undoubtedly be safely and prudently managed, and all losses which it may sustain honorably adjusted. May 5,185£H5m - GREAT OPENING OF SPRING AND SUMMER C£> CS> ££) S 3 » JB, HILEMAN HAS JUST RE • reived arid opened at l|is old stand, on Virginia at, a large and attractive assortment of seasonable goods, com prising all Che novelties in BEREGES, RIVALS. iniSTZES. LAWyS. GJyGHAMS. • EMBROIDERIES, LACKS. HOSIERY . Thomas. - Altoona; Sept. 30.18i5.-tf ’ By. ROYER, M. D., • Offers his professional services to the citizens of Altoona and vicinity] Die best of references can be given If required. Office at residence *bn Branch street, East Altoona, three doors above Conrad's Store. , [April 28’50-ly. DENTISTRY— 3>R. S. KIMMELL, OPERATIVE <£■ MECHAXfCAL DENTIST. Teeth Inserted) from one to a full set, on Gold or Silver Plate. J Teeth filled with cjohl, end warranted for ten yean. Teeth Extracted bj the Electro Magnetic Machine with out Pain. - ' AU operations and work done cheaper than anywhere else in the county, and a deduction inode, of the railroad expenses from Altoona to nollidaysburg, from all opera* tlons onXmnting to fore doUanand over. *S~ Office on Montgomery street,'Opposite the Exchange Hotel, Bollldsysbnrg, Fa. (Dee.l6,lBsMy WM. 8. BftTTNER, SURGEON DENTIST. OFFICE IN THE MASONIC TEM PJiB. Teeth extracted without pain by the Electro Magnetic Machine. ; [Dec. 23,'88,-tf •- ASt* A Student wanted. - : TDLAIB COUNTY INSURANCE fte JPWr County Mutna! Fire IturanuidO- Company, is at 01l times to insurt;agalnst loss or damage by fiw,Buad- JUenfaktoe, Rimutttre and fn&Ay, of every des cription, In town or count™ at os reasonable rates as in Comjtoyjo .the Statt. Office with Bell. Johnston, Jock* TTCOMJNG COUNTY MUTUAL I A FIBE INBUBAXCK . AGENCY—The undersigned, agent of the Lycoming Mutual Fire Insurance Company, !* at alt times ready to Insure-against loss or damage by fire, BuOdinfi, Jferdtanditt, Furniture and Prvptrlf of every description, in town or country, at os reasonable rates «a any compauy IntheStatc. Office in the Masonic Temple. Jan. 3, ’Sfi-tf] ; . JOHN SHOEMAKER, Agent. /2J&EAT WESTERN INSURANCE VJT AND JCBOKT EOMf ANY—lnsurance on Meal or personal property will be effected on the abort reasonable two*by m&tieimia Altoona at bis office in Anna St.' March IT. M JOHN HfOEMAEW, A|«r. A pretty young ntaid with a bundle of work, Whose lace ai the morning was fair, Went tripping altJng with a smile of delight, While humming a loro-breathing air. i • She looked on the, carriage—the lady she saw. Arrayed in apparel so fine, And said, in; a whisper, “1 wish from my heart Those satins and laces were mine.” ■ r • The lady looked out on the maid with her work, So fair in a calico dress, And said, “ I’d relinquish position and wealth, Her beauty and youth to possess.” Thus in this, world, whatever our iot, Our minds and bar time we employ In longing and sighing for what wo hare not, Ungrateful for wliut'we enjoy. We welcome, the pleasures for which we hare sighed ; -The hearthaa a iroid in'it still, Growing deeper and. wider the longer we live. That nothing but heaven can fill. Old Horsey. You’re too Late. This is a country for jokes, and we have just had one that is too good to keep. Early this morning there were added to our company of travelers a pair who looked like runaways; the gentleman was a tall, raw-«bone. specim of the half-horse halt-ulligator' class, and the Iddy a fail* match for- him; Among the passengers from Napoleon fs a solemn looking gentle man, who has all along been taken for a preacher. About nine o'clock last night I was conversing with the “ reverend” gentleman; when a young man stepped up, and addressing: him remarked, “ We’re going to hive a ; wedding, and would like to have you officiate.” “All right, sir,” he replied, laughingly, and we stepped into the ladies’caßtt, when, sure enough, the couple stood waiting. There had been some kissing games, and several mock marriages good thro’ with during the evening, and I supposed this was merely a continuation ofthe sport; and so thought the “ preacher,” who, I could see, had a good deal; of humor in him, and was in clined to promote general feeling and mer riment. The Couple stood up before him, (a good deal mpire solemn than was nec essary in a mock, marriage, 1 thought,) and the “ preacher” asked the necessary ques tions, and then,; proceeding in the usual way, announced them “ husband and wife.” There was !a good dpal of fun afterward, and when it was over I left the cabin— and so did the preacher,” who remarked to me that he liked to see the young folks enjoying themselves, and took a good deal of pleasure in contributing to their fun ; bat did not understand why they should select him to act the preacher. Just theh sogie one called me aside, and the old gentleman stepped into his state room, which wda next tot mine. When I returned the door stood open, and the u preacher” stood just inside, with his coat and vest offi; and one boot in his hand, talking wiih the gentleman who played the “ attendant” and who, as I came up, remarked: Well, if that is the case it is a good joke, for they are in dead earnest, and have retired; to the same state-room.” The old gentlelman raised both hands as be exclaimed: “Good Heavens! you dojo’t tell me so !” and rushing just as he was, boot in baud, to the state room indi cated, commenced an assault on the door as if he would batter it down, exclaiming at each lick:; “ For heaven’s sake don’t I ain’t a preacher;!” The whole cabin was aroused, evfcry s{ate room opening with a slam, when j the door opened, and the Ar kansas traveller] poking out his head, coolly remarked: “Old boss you’re too later ; .] : ir „ LOUIS FLACK. J@“The langcr X lure, the more certain I am that I the if difference between men is encrgy-rinvinoiblo determination —an honest purpose noce fixed, and then death or victoiy. This quality. will do anything that can Be done in the world; and on talents, no circumstance, no oppor tunity, will make one main without it.— Bdmont. ■'-i 1 -- — r r : A Husband I-Cabbo Fob.— ln one-of the 1 crack |hote|s of Saratoga, lately, the elderly men weis sifting up in the doffee or har-roonts during the jolly hopics, drinking and tohing stories, when sud denly a stately Ijidyappeared; seised he? Bptband by! vtbel' v to bed. Thg aotipirproduced quite .*lBs* anch oily effect upon the others. ' ' ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 1859 Effect |frdrg. BOTH SIDES. A man to his carriage was riding along, A gaily .dressed wife by his aide; In satin and laces she looked like a queen, And be like a king in his pride. A wood-sawyer stood on tho street as they passed, The carriage and :couplo ho .eyed, And sold, os he worked with hjs saw on the log, , “1 wish 1 was rich and could ride.” The man to, the carriage remarked to his wile, •‘One thing I give if I could— -1 would give alt my wealth for the strength and the health Of tho main who toweth tho wood.” Jltltd IPisctllanjj. [independent in everything.] A lady was coming out of the opera house, when a'thief snatched at her dia mond ear-ring and tore it completely from her ear, causing it to bleed. Upon her return home, she found the ring lying in the tresses of her hair. was tried for stealing this ring, and,being'found guilty by the jury, the opinion of the judges was taken whether this would be considered a sufficient taking ; this opin ion of the judges was afterwards delivered, in which they held that, as the ring had been entirely removed from the lady’s ear, and was wholly in the possession of the prisoner, although but for an instant of time, when he lost it in her hair, the ta king vras complete. So, where a thief led a horse from one part of a field to another, intending to steal it, but was apprehended before he could get the horse out of the field, it was decided the taking was com plete. In all these oases you will have noticed the principle upon which they have decided, is that the property must 'be completely severed from the possession of the owner, no matter, in each case, for how short a period of time. Two or three showing what is not a sufficient ta lcing, and then we will proceed to consid er another branch of the subject. One Wilkinson put his hand into the pocket of another, seized his purse and actually suc ceeded in taking it out of his pocket.— However, the purse being tied by a piece of string to a bunch of keys which still re mained in the person’s pocket, the thief was unable to accomplish his object, and was arrested and tried for stealing the purse; but it was held that as the purse was still attached to the pocked of the owner by the string and keys, it was still in his possession, and the prisoner was en titled to be acquitted. So, where a thief went into a shop, took up some goods, in tending to steal them, but before he had removed them far from the spot on which they lay, discovered they were tied to the counter by a cord ; upon being tried for stealing, it was held that the property never was either completely severed from the possession of the owner, nor complete ly in the possession of the prisoner, and he was acquitted. A correspondent of the Manchester Mirror relates an interesting incident which he says occurred in Manchester.— He states than in the fall of 1847 a young man came to the city in quest of employ ment. After weeks of unsuccessful search he found himself without prospect of work and considerably in debt for board. In despair he made arrangements for dispo sing of his clothing by auction in order to defray his expenses, when a lefter was sent to him containing twenty dollars, and directing him to apply for the situation of card-stripper to the overseer of one of the corporations.' The letter also requested him to sign a nqsp of hand for the amount loaned, and to place it in a certain unoc cupied bos in the Post Office wUen it would be called for by the lender. The young man did as he was directed, and received the situation, the overseer sta ting that it had been procured for him by the earnest solicitation of a young lady. Years passed away, and attempts to find his creditor was unavailing. The young man prospered in business and at length plighted his affections to an estimable young lady with whom ho had accident ally become acquainted. On the day be fore their marriage he received a letter re questing him to call at a certain place and pay the note for twenty dollars, wito in terest, which he had signed some years before.. Anxious to settle an indebted ness which, from the mystery of the whole affair, had occasioned many hours of un happiness, he hastened to the place indi cated, and was ushered by the domestic into a parlor, where to his infinite aston ishment he discovered in the person of the unknown benefactor the lady to whom, upou the next day, he was to unite his fortunes. She was awaiting him with the note in her hand. It was her first business transaction, and the part nership which followed bids fair to con tinue happily through life. Benevolence op Women.— The ccle : hrated traveler, Ledyard, paid the follow ing handsome tribute to 1 the female sex: “1 have observed,” he says,“ that women in all countries are civil, obliging, tender and humane. I never addressed myself to them in the language of decency and friendship, without receiving a decent and friendly answer. With man, it has been otherwise. In wandering over the bar ren. plains of inhospitable Denmark; through honest Sweden, and frozen Lap land ; rude and churlish Finland; unprin cipled Russia; mid the wide-spred regions of the wandering Tartar j, if hungry, wet, cold o? sick, ue women have eve? been friendly, and uniformly so; end to add to this so worthy the of benevolence,) actions have beed per formed in W and kincf a manner, that if! was dry I drank (Bp sweetest iflra tang* nteti* with double rdßst?*' ' r From the “ Hand-Book of Criminal Law." Absurdities or the Law. A Romantic Incident. Harrying for Sloßejr, A woman, who professes so speak from experience, writes thus of marrying for money: " ’ 1 ‘‘ I was married for money. Thih was ten years ago, and they have! been ten years of purgatory. I have had bad luck as a wife, for my husband and I have scarcely one taste in common. He wish es to live in the country, which I hate.—■ I like the thermometer at seventy-five de grees, which he bates. He likes the chil dren brought up at homo, instead of at school, which 1 hate. I like music and wish to go to concerts, which he hates.— He likes roast pork, which 1 hate; and I like minced veal, which he hates. There is one thing which we both like, and is what we both can’t hare, though we are always trying for it—the last word. I have had bad luck as a mother ; for two such huge, passionate, unmanageable boys never tormented a feeble mother since boys began. I wish I, had called them both Gain. At this moment they have just been quarrelling over their marbles. Mortimer has torn*off Orville’s collar, and Orville has applied his colt-like heel upon Mortimer’s ribs, while the baby, &enobias, in my lap, who never sleeps n|ore than half an hour at a time, and crips all the time she is awake, has been aroused by their din to scream in chorus.; I have had bad luck fes a house-keeper, for I nev er keep a chambermaid more than three weeks. Audas to cooks, I look bewilder ed ou the long phantasmagoria qf feces through my kitchen, as a mariner remembers a succession of thunder-gusts and storms in the gulf of Mexico. My new chambermaid bounded into the room yesterday, flirting her dusters and mutter ing Real old maid after all !’f j ust be cause I showed her a table on which I could write “ slut” with my fingers in the dust. I never saw my plump, happy sis ters, and then glance in the mirror at my own cadaverous; long, doleful visage, without wishing mysdlf an old maid.— Yet half of my sex marry as I did —not for love but for fear—fear of dying old maids.” ■ ° A Sister’s Love. There are no purer feelings kindled upon the altar of human affections than a sister’s pure, uncontaminatcd love for her brother. It is unlike all other affections—so dis connected with selfish , sensuality—so feminine in its developement—so- dignifi- and yet, withal, so fond and devoted. Nothing can altar it—nothing can sup press it. The world may revolve, and its evolutions effect changes in the fortune, in the character, and in the disposition ,of the brother—yet, if he wants, whpse hand will so speedily stretch, out as that of his sister ? an dif his character is maligned, whose voice will so readily swell in his ad vocacy ? Next to a mother’s unquencha ble love, a sister’s is pre-eminet. 'lt rests so exclusively on the ties of consanguini ty for its sustenance, it is so wboly dives ted of passion, and springs from such a deep recess in the human bosom, that when a sister once fondly and deeply re gards her brother, that affection is blend; ed with her existence. In the annals of crime, it is considered something: anoma lous to find the hand of a sister Raised in anger against her brother, or her heart nurturing the seeds of envy, hatred or re venge, in regard to that brother: i In all affections of woman there is a devoted ness which cannot be properly appreciated by man. In these regards where the pas sions are not all necessary in increasing the strength of the affections, more sin cere truth and pure feelings may be ex pected than in such as are dependent upon each other for their duration as well as their felicities. A sister’s love, in this respect, is peculiarly remarkable;: There is no selfish gratification in its out-pouring; it lives from the natural impulse, and per sonal chaims are not in the slightest de gree necessary to its birth or duration. The Tjjsih.—The teeth are divided into three classes, each class fitting us for a different kind of food :—• ! ’ Ist. The incisors, or catting; teeth, being eight in number, four top apd bot tom, those of the upper jaw being , larger, and falling over the under dnes'iii plerong the mouth-. The office of these is for di viding and cutting the food, by bringing it between the surfaces of the shafp, edges-. 2nd. The canine teeth, so called from their resemblance to the dog’s (doth, aye placed on each side of the incisors; making two in each jaw. The intention of these teeth is to lay hold of substances,; add «re peculiar to all carnivorous aminals, and of wMeh man is considered the harm less. J;. ' 3rd. The molars, or grindehs, are ten in each jaw, and servo to fit the sod for the stomach, by dividing it into minute por tions, or pulp. Thus, It will he seen (hat Nature designed men should partake each of the foods homindh to the carnivorous, herbivotoTW, |and granivorons There' ere other later in; ly these are not to ifm. - 1 EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS! A Hc«r« DUcbmUmi About Sggg, Geneva the lovely village on Seneca Lake, furnishes the following specimen of Parliamentary ruling: In the fairest village of Western New York the “ dulled pusaons,” in emulation of their white brethren, formed a debating society for the purpose of improving their minds by the discussion of instraetlnw and entertaining topics. The detibe>£ tions of the soc'ety were presided over by a venerable darkey, who performed hm duties with the utmost dignity peculiar to his color. The subject for the discussion on the occasion of which we' write, was— What am de muddcr ob de chickens— de hen what lay de eggs or de hen wind hatch de chicks I . The question was warmly debated apd many reasons pro and con were urged had combatted by the excited Those in favor of the latter proposition were evidently in the majority, and the President made uo attempt to conceal that his sympathies were the dominant party. At length an. intelligent darkey rose from the minority side, and bogged leave to state a proposition to this efieol. “Spose," said he, “dat you set one dozen duck eggs under & hen,and day hatch, which am de mudder—de duok Or dehen?” * ' This was a posoH was well put, and non plussed the other side, even stangerieg the President who plainly saw the forced this argument, and had committed him self too far to yield without a struggle : so, after cogitating and scratching’ his wool a few minutes, a brighter idea struck him. Rising in his chair with all the conscious of superiority, he announced: “ Ducks am not before de house; chick ens am do question; derforoj I rule de ducks out; and do it ho did, to the com plete overthrow of his opponents. Doing It op Slice. An. intimate friend of ours who M bp» faults about some things os well as us, Was paying hia addresses'to a young lady, qui j near Harlem, pretty stoutly. It seems* that each loved pretty dear, but Sam, our frieUd, didn't hardly suit the old peoplq., When it came that Sam began to show signs of ardent love, and in fact she too,' the old lady intimated to the old gentle man the necessity qf giving the yotupg New Yorker a hint to-go into other quar- ’ ters —so when he drove up with his own"* fine team, hitched, knocked and came iq all things seemed right to Him. Prcaont ly, all at once the father of the daughter, a shrewd, cunning farmer, walked up to Sam— “ Have you got a good horse. sir?” “Acs, sir," ho replied. Sam answered in the affirmative, with" much gusto. ' “ And have you got a good barn T" ' " Yes, sir, I have.” “ Then,” said the old gentlemau, w my wife and myself advise you, to get,tiUt good horse, and that good carriage, in in' that good barn, as quick as posable.”— The hint to go was sufficient The Seceet of Blonmh’s Sdcoses. A writer in the Century newspaper' > says the secret of Blooding success is in his keeping the point of gravity lowdpwu. Blondin’s polo is thirty-four feet lon&apd weighs forty-six pounds. Held below the . middle of the body, it brings centre of : gravity sufficiently near to the rope to he easily controlled. A very slight elevation of one end and a corresponding of the other restores the hwance of the body. The most perilous exploit of Blondin is that of carrying a man od 'h& back. Here he runs a frightful risk, bc cause he cannot command theuervopg system of another person. To this'ezppr riment he will fall a victjm,if bepenisip injti The slightest trepidation ofpervo in the carried body will imperil his eep* tre of gravity, and put jt out of his cmh niimd, in spite of the skill with whichhe •. adjusts the weight to rest as much Mp&). sible on his hips, and aa little as poomhle' on, his shoulders. Travelers over moun teins ure warned pj their gpidea to siriS- v sively on without attempting w* direct the animal. This is what the; mail must do who rides on Blondin*s back!— His own command of nerve must bo equal' to that of Ids master, or he endangers botiiv An Irish Love Lrttbb.—«Od>, Paddy, swate Paddy, if p.Waa yer daddy, I’d kUI ye yrid Josses iotirely j if I via brother, and like wia yer mother, I# see that yewent to bed airly. To taste yer breath Fd starve me to death, aod lay off me hoopg- all 'together; to joosthiVe your arm on me waiat, and larf aCtho manesbif tae 'heather. Dear Paddy be mine, me own swate voluotine—.ye’li find tee both gentle and civil; our life we will spend to ah iud, and care may no daheewidthe divil.” Beidok. An Irish"housemaid, who was seat. te'«dl agentleman, found him engagndf ■ in using a tooth brush. " Well, i» h* coming f” said (ho lady of dm the servant returned, “ Ye#,: toonhf ~ sharpening his twfch " igjtfS' #| no . ai*