CIATION,
f affected ,
, * i
a view of the awful ■»-. \
«1
te victims of«u<* a j^.. eMJo tu
cteiltl.PirOa.isuitingsSS' **
; i" 1 to open a ruf* 014 *
‘ C ) iw ? «>f Ji«eaaex i n r»n ( ,oa “
livico toaJl wn* 1 *'*ew
’h ? ,10il c '»u«iiiion.'uS*£Wy
>d in ca.-as of otc
atheme free of c/ianJ**f n y
:iation commands h
In their Annual tie*
«*pn.« tb'Rif* l
" 11 iy auetdod-the ift.** 1
: .'r ?.'*• ~f s , u^r^te
Pdf a'ilvw*,*
f'l-Ui.; ‘•U^uing'ja'r. or^*,, *
iV?'®
i“ waew^* n ?
u-I. ,It tpiaert cause
Spermatorrhoea, or :
aiitn, Masturbation olL D P
' organ,,
>\v r.taii ( m a . J “'
of IWO STAMP*
! 1 Trac,H on the
l -‘"■ ,luJ " ill he
m-tiles and methods of l L*L°
-t year, are of great vlw* 1 ’
vjTK nt. Itr.OF.oW
11.. ward Association, Noi sT
- ! 'V order nf 1),,. r*•
I>. HEAltTVVlftt%?*•
lht.C. 3-ly. - '
M
xSv.j
ill
■ &
2^l
ill
•;mentincoqk
axd oasako sa Tjyo
' »*•finer to the public.
)ia; ooxsching - ,
‘ I, Whir!; is deswied to et-
fuel ■J‘
quickly gad rtgnlnr.
•u cl gas Arises from’tin#
|.u cot-.aunied oroJtcan^.
■ MnijUr an that hhplojwah*
• <3 ulso consumed Injidt of
" ‘i’f-fr.r of fiu<g] or eliilr,-
it or the rnortar lube«u«d ly
■!. vc? nr? (avited;to cal! it
::o wnue v .
• TA UN SHOEMAK/KU, ‘
/»«,>, Runfy.
lurlcr Cv>kiE K [ 'nVy> i cc
_ (Ang. y, lS6t'. k
i’E GAZETTKIC
'Vimc ftnd C’rfmSnaUii ;r. ■
!y ciir.c.ldtccl tijrqtiglinut
:i - «r--at Triftlg. .
■i n »'.mc,toß+HvcrWi»V
ii, not to be foqiud htauy
!e-ni; >1 for auc tkonlhe, t»
•’ '■‘■•ouM write thWr amass
waere they plainlrA
' . MATSELL * 00, '
■ York Police Gaactt*.
•Vtw. I?
f
y/uNE’S
ATED
PUGE
PIPES;
;o call thfe.a^di-:
Trade, and more
ysicians of the
rhe most pppu
: furc the public.
Celebrated :
Liver Bills.
mmend them aa
, but simply for
arports, viz,:
.IIFUGE,
;rms ficnr ti e
t has dsp been |
die mest sat&
’..rious Animals
I PILLS, i
J. Co.AlPt AlXTfi
OLMENTSjSIC^
In cases of
> Ague,
■ ter taking ?Quir
i; variably ma);t
merit cure.’
rhe above men-/
; are UnriyaleH, ‘
to fail when ad
vance with the
nted popularity
rorietors.
ROTHERS,
n, Pa. .• / i
I)rug i
i been" siiqceps
iic last Twenty
now.give thor:
d attention.
And being d®";
M’Lane's Celc-].
i id Liver
iccupy die high
told among tnc
the day, t£ief
ire neither dine
raring the Best
ial, and cofDr
most thorough
all orders to .
Pittsburgh* ?*•
Bering from otb«»lJ“
n rite their
i, prtparedbyFU***
e os togltetb^
at pm, to any P«*
by twtl-re tl
ifuEtt for foprtf«n tbn*
madamurtbf accoiiipw l *^
HcCBUM & JMSRN,
VOL- L
TUB ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
McCKDU * DBRN. Pnbllthen rod Pn^rWflrf.
*[ tluUm*
ptii l«r
»i««« W.UIBBBW.
1 insertion' ;*5 do. ’ 4 do.
FoarlinMorlMS. * M •* $ 100
o a csiiuur*,(loo IfiO ‘ 00
T«a “ P® (i \ IfiO 200 250
T ewer tbreo weeks and lew than three months, 28eent»per
,qii»re far eseh insertion, j mont i,s. 0 months, lyear.
... |1 60 -2 800 if « 00
Six line* or ls**i 280 400.* 7 00
Onesqtuwe, 400 . iJOjOO JO 00
Two *OO i 200 < J 2 00
Three „ 000 .JO 00 14 00
tour 10# 1400 20 00
Half sealants, 14 00 25 00 40 00
IU
t“lSFrrtl.lngby the Jar, threeaquare*
sltnfSrftjfti change, • ,
».’Asians! dr (Business Cards, net exceeding S
X. with/sper, per year, ■ s®°
of a political character or Individual in-
B ill be charged according to the above rates.
UvertisetncnW not marked with the number of insertions
desired, will bo continued till forbid end charged according
to Ibe shove terms.
11MUCM notices five cants per lute for every Insertion.
Obituary notices exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square.
tribune directory.
V>NV v WVi.-vXN\XWN\NN\ , VN\N\NV\SNN\VN.^%*
CHURCHES, MINISTERS, fc€.
IwaWcrian, Hev. A 11. Clam, Pastor.—Preaching ev
, , morning at 10J4 o'clock, and in the etching at
-*■'.,’cl j-. k. Sabbath School at 9 o'clock, A. M-, In the Leo-
Uxip.- Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening in
;•} „v.a' room. , '
t!.Vr*hft Kjjismjial, Kev S. Cruobtox, Pastor.—Preach-
I, f\-ry Sabbath morning at 11 o’clock and in theeveii
sabbath School In the Lecture Boom at 2 o’clock,'?,
ii’ iKuvtul Prayer Meeting in same room every Wednes-
J;,'. ~-ning. Young Meu’y^Prayer,Meeting every Priday
' "p‘.r~yf!\ctU “Lutheran, Bev. J aces Stick,Pastor.—Preach
, • t ry Sabbath mooting at 10}£ o’clock, andstdUo’clock
eicaiug. Sabbath School in the Lecture Room at
Viock. P. M. Prayer fleeting in same room every
IV*.Jh»*bJuv fveniup.
,t„i Hrtt’acn, Uev.-W. B. DICK, Pastpr.—Preaching ev
erv jablutli morning at 10J£ o’clock and in the evening at
o d It- Sabbath School in the Lecture Boom at 9
oiLk. A. M. Prayer Mooting every Wednesday evening
ii, ,;aur i u im. 1
I’rut'A'Ui! >,/i. tropa!. Rev. R. W. Outer, Pastor. —Divine
t.ni.-f 'J.. ;u .i 4th Sundays of each month aflOJ.4 o'clock
,i j;.- i;i. i' ,M. Sunday School at 9 o’clock A. M,
iV'uki c. Kev. John ’fwwns, Pastor.—Preaching at
( ..ick in l)it‘ morning, and at 3}£in the afternoon.
Ikjitul, Rev. It. 11. Pisa, Pastor—Preaching every Sabtiath
aniline at ln’/i o’clock, and also lit the evening. Sabbath
5.u.0l at i i o’clock, A. M. Prayer Meeting every Wedaes-
;jv c' cuing.
>/'i<i«ut, Bov. Sstper Car, Pastor.—Preaching
... v Miitmib .a..; fling at 11 o’clock and in thceveuing, in
At Union School Mouse. : '
ALTOONA MAIL SCHEDULE
MAILS CLOSE
£ i; in Way at
K -Hi i n “
11..
«' .i. -n Through,
1.. ii Through Mull
MAILS OPEN.
>'. ‘i ’i Through M«-U,
r si i ii Through,
UtHclll Wuj,
fctTtl ,l
lUli.bidmrg •30 A. 31. and 615 f‘>
oCici'upen for the transottion’of business from 030 AM.
I*. 31., during the week, and bom 130 to 8.30 o’-
i.uk, ‘in Sunday.
JOIIX SIIOESIAKEK, P. M.
4, ’57-If j
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.*
litrrss Train Knot arrive* 1,25 A. M-, leave* 1,30 A. M.
•• West “ 7.66 « “ 8,15 “
f.>; •• East “ 0.05 P.M. “ 0,20 P. M.
• West “ 8,10 P.M., « p. M.
):.ul /• Hast « 7,35 A. M. , « 7,50 A. M.
West “ 0,25 P. M., « 6,40 J». 51.
I!., IiUi.UDAYSBURQ BRAN Cl! connect* with Express
ruin Ca.t and West, and with-Mail Train East and west.
Bis I!I..VIIi»VILLE BRANCH connect* with Johnstown
'".i Ti.iin I’.ail and West, Express Train West and Mail
Tram Eiut. '
Suumber 29, ISSB.
MEETINGS Of ASSOCIATIONS.
ir»M/oi'n lodge, A.-Y. M., Na 281, meetsonsecondTurs
>jv m( taoii mouth, in the third story of the Masonic Xoni
llr. 11T1,.-o’clock,,P. M. \ . V "
ii'i’ duoi JCnaiiHjiiiixnt, A. Y. M., No 10, meet* on,the
' !rt!i Tuesday of each month. In. the third story of tho M
a► ti. Tv:n],le. at *><; o’clock. P- M.
-w .M'i i. o. of O-.F-No. 473, nwets every Friday
the second story of Uio Jfaeontc Tttnpie, at 7J^
i (ma.ii hAgf, 1.0. of 0. F., N 0.532, meet* every Friday
'‘-•ssv.iu the third story of I’atton’sßhlidin&ott Virginia
at ~y, o’clock. P. M, ’ ‘
ir.iin dnuf, Tribe, No. 35, I. O. 11. Ms hold stated Conn<-
vl* wry. Tuesday evening in the I. O- O. F. Ilall.'inthe
‘ - . lie Temple. Council Fire kindled at 7th run 30th
1 -'til. W. a. ApAJM. c. of R- Hone’67-1*
Jun.,.r •■y.i.j of America, Camp No. Sl,rneet» erery Mon
■ “'Slit in the third *tory of Pattoa’e T^oVtock
. H 'l'dngtm Cbmp, Kb. 64, J. S. of Ai, meets every
iu«,lay evening, in the 2d story of Patton**Hail.
•' :!, *' nu bn-ition, jfo. 311, & of J% meets every Sat ar
■ay.v. i.ing. in the Odd Fellows’ Han; Masonic Tstnpie.
lilv .ia MecUanict' Library and Reading Room Jaeeta
‘■-t meets statedly oh the Ist Saturday evening InJintta
ii V' 1 , 1 !- Ju| y and October. Board of Director* meet on
T . u ,'- fi,i “y evening in each month. Room open from
■‘J W o clock every evening, (Sunday excepted./ .
COUNTY OFFICERS.
uJpet of the. £b urtt —President, Hon. QeorznTnylor.—
J• Peun Jones. DiTiiLCaldwell. - - ■;i ■
1 ,'iiluniotarp —Joseph Baldridge.
and /*«n/er-Uugb i. Caldwell. 'I V ! -
.'Vnjf—J»inc* Fm,k.
I'ntrict Attorney—SenJ.h. Hewit -> - - .
JSarnlinrt, J.p. Mo?«r
-
n appraiser—Joseph O. Adlnm. - '
y iurcfyor—Jaum L. Ovlad.
Troi>ur(r —JohnUnga< • •' 1 ' '
l'" ! - i?~ 3 ' J$ nrroWm McCartney, So*. P. Hewitt
• »- v ~ ;
'■'WnUnJento/Cbnunm
ALTOONA BOROUGH. OFFICERS* /.<
Pnca.
'id ffl'tKi- »• « ( " k - C- C. Upon, (tog»V.
C Metomlcfc 8. y. Cramer.
Bm 0 "V &>***Boari—ytm. C. McCormick.
nV utjtfe -J , <>»e|<Ji K. Ely.
Mw?r J01,,1> Medcttana.
” e *“ nn - Galbraith.
-Jacob Blerbpwar. ,
f £ , ** ort ~~MJclwiel Clabangb, A. AUoway.
/ Wai*i-S. A- Alexander.
■* ’ 'Vest M B. Greenwood.
W-j ■ • Jacob Bottenbcrg. .
« Ward—Hen ry;Bell, Jacob Szink;
“ “ B. B. McOrnm, Jacob Ucucr.
Kortli « O. W.-ifaurman. John Condo.
Cx l i^? RI ES.--A LARGE AND
.•«N MMrtment of Orocerto* harejuat been re-
a. B. MILKMAN.
L'aS BAGS. TRUNKS, CM-
AT McGORMICK’S Store
of Headj-Made clothing.
.... f 'Sor.lh.xt
Trus
.,-; KESSLER’S.
7 25 A. 51.
7 25 A. 31
7 25 A. St. and 6 00 P. 31
. 600 “
730 «
7 55 A. 31.
7'35. “
7 00 A. SI.
6 25 P. M.
thos. A.scorr,
» ; r, f
BJR4NCH ; ,
▼ f BIHE, LIVE STOCK AND
BEALTE INS&SANCE COMPANY
Of 14*CK HAVEN, PA. V f ’
Bi. A. O. KERR,
ALTOONA* BLAIR COUNTY, PA.
c * m ’ c6i*^SSy£ST4SL
,t£ “
■. HEJtXTBAbPAbtM£KT, !
Company to thow incapaci
»fe SrfWoM* or accident, eounle the
!Mtan “* *>yP*yi»»K ftt tUewt^S
||22 *» ' aooo
<0 00 dc * . / Soo
woo ; do do . MOO
8WMI0M: 1
' *T Abram, VlcePnart,
Ttos Kitchen, S6c y, •;•■■■. Wm Faaraon,Ttoea, !
&f< k . mWI ’ PcterDicklneon, ■ ,
Wm White, Chw A .
S*n,u e l Chrut, • Johuß Uall. I
The Board ofnircctoreanbrnitthefollowing testimonial
o«;;WMUtion of
T „ WttH*HßK«t, PA., AngnstS, 1857.
I Personally acquainted with the Director* and Offl
cera of the West branch Insurance Company at Lock Ha
ven. Pa., and cheerfully bow testimony tolhelr high char
“c*®r b Y“ nlen - A company under their control
will undoubtedly be safelyand prudently managed, and
wllosiiM which sustain honorably adjusted.
May 6, IS&Mim .
GREAT OPENING
OF
SPRING AND SUMMER
<l3* ® CE> W @3 « 1
JB. HILEMAN HAS JUST RE
• ceived and opened at bis old stand, on Virginia at,
a,large and attractive assortment of reasonable goods, com
prising all the novelties in - ’
BEREGEs" ,
DUCALS^
CHINTZES
LAWNS,
GINGHAMS
EMBROIDERIES
LACES, 'HOSIERY <t GLOVES
and all varieties and textures of
LADIES DRESS GOODS,
together with a full assortment of goods for gentlemen’s
wear, such as Cloths, Cossimercs and Testings.
Also; a full stock of Hardware, Queensware and
GROCERIES,
and an assortment of .
BOOTS. SHOES, GAITORS, &C.,
of all sizes and styles, which equal to any in the market,
and will be sold at Stir prices.
Having recently enlarged my store-room, 1 can now
display my largely increased stock to better advantage
ami would respectfully Invite everybody to call.
Mayl2, 1860.
New grocery and liquor
STORE.—l’hc undersigned would beg leave to, an
nounce to the citizens ofßlair county and vicinity that he
has opened his new Store, on Virt/rnio street, thru doors
below the Superintendent?* Office, where he has Just received
from the East and West a large assortment of '
Foreign and Domestic Liquors,
consisting as follows: ■fIMBS
French Otard Brandy, Cognac Brandy, Peach
Brandy, Cherry Brandy, Old Burgundy
TFtne, Old Port M ine, Jamaica Bum,
Holland Cine Old Bye Whiskey,
Monongahela Whiskey, and
Rhine Wine,
whlch he has himself Imported. Retailers of Liquors and
Farmers will find it to their advantage to buy of him,
as he win seU at CITY PRICES. ' :
Be will also keepcdhstantly on hand an assortment of
GROCERIES,
Such as Flour, Bacon, Salt, Fish, Tobacco, Se
pars, Syrup, SufjaT, Coffee, ftc , se., i
All of wfaich will be sold cheep for cash or Country Produce.
Our friend* and the public generally are reepectftdly In
vited to give us a call before purchasing elsewhere.
. LOUIS PLACE.
Altoona, May 26,1859,-tf f;
JACOB SNYDER, TAILOR,
The Hero of One Hundred Fite per Month !
I would rcspectfuriysct fortkmy claim to public atten
tion, as a Fashionable Jailor a* follo-vsi' ,'
Because 1 keep an WWtmcnt of Cloths, Cassi-
Trimmings, which. when examined,
always please. ‘ ‘ • ■
Because myworjc la made up In a manner that takes
dowh the counter ana gives alt ng customers h city ap
pearance.
Because l am not inferior as a Cotter to the boat to be
found anywhere.
Because long experience In ny business gives me entire
control over |t and I am not dependant upon any one to
lift me out of the siuty.
Because 1 am stlll on the auuny side of forty, and.there*
fore my taste as a Cdtter and workman unimpaired.' i
Cali on me, in the corner room of the ‘•Brant llonae.”
Give me a trial and>uawiUgo a way pleased.
Altoona, May!3(i-Sm JACOB.SNTPER.
■piKJJ’S PEAK NO MORE ! BUT
1 UdT great rush now is to the .- ’ \ ' ■
Altoona Restaurant and Lager
Reer Saloon,
Under Key done //alt, comer of Annie end Virginia (Streets.
•' ThU'house Is new, and the basement fitted up specially
Ibf the purpose of a first-class Bestanrant and aim
the proprietor having had many years experience in .the
business, will keep constantly on hand the heat XAGKR
BEER that can be found this aide of the Atlantic,' and
batablep toeupidy the wants of the hungry. He win also
keep choice SKG ARB and; tlio beat of TOBACCO.' He in
viteaaQ h(s old friends and the public generally to (Wo
hint Aaill at fals newßcstaurant audgaloon.
> X RINEHART, Proprietor.
1869 -* 3m . ■ /v:'
B. A, GOOD, M. D. J. K OUCMUi, *. »,
eB S. GOOD & CrEMMILti RAY
tjSd entered into Partnership in the Practleeof
Ine, respectfully tender their services tothe Public
la the several branches of their Profession. " - -
Calls will be answered cither day or night at tfaair office
—Which is tho same as heretofore occnpied byJlrs. Hirst
4 Good.—or at the XiOgan llonso.
SK. QKMUILL REFERS TO
David Gilbert, M. D., Prof. Obstetrics in Penn’*‘Medical
College, Philadelphia. "
F. Oobkjct Swrn, M. D., Prof. Institutes of Medicine in
■ Penn’a Medical College. ' '■
D., Prof Surgeiy In Pa. Med. Col* and Sur
geon to the Pa. Hospital, Philadelphia
J. B. linden. M D, Huntingdon, Pa J
John McCulloch, MD, “
John Scott, Esq, “ . .
Wm Dorris, Jr, Esq. “
Vm M Lloyd. Esq. UoUldaysbnrg,
John Cresswell, Jr. Esq, *•
Samuel slilliken, Esq, Bell’s Mills,
Gon B V Bell, « ’
John Bell. Esq, “ ~
April 21st, 18593 m ’
DR. WM R. FINLEY RE. g
SPECTFDT.LY offen bis profeoionalf^B^
services to the people of Altoona ’and the
joining county. : "
He may be found at the office heretofore oc- HB|H
copied by Dr. G. D. Thomas. .
Altoona, Sept. 30,18&8.-tf
BF. ROYER, M. D.,
• Offers his' profess! onol services to the citixens of
Altoona and vicinity.
The best of references can be given if required.
Office at residence on Branch street, East Altoona, three
doors above Conrad’s Store.„ [April 28 ’S(My.
OILS! OILS I
Pnte
' .'WnifiOL '
C*rt»s Oil ftOTSfrtflSf*
For tale at
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, JULY 21, 1859.
t-'i ’
Select
THE DAISY.
srtUKT aaaxnr.
Tho'bordered with silver and centered with gold,
Yet few In the delay czn beauty behold. fl
Beneetb the proud foot unthinking trod,
*»» crashed in IU meekness upon the cold sward.
dh ’tis .vile—Omnipotent power
Hath shaded *nd formed this delicate flower.
then not in vein, that wisdom and skill.
Displayed in this flower hath a purpose to fill.
When the day; god takes op hi* march through the sky,
Ha tenderly kisses thethc tear from its eye;
, The unconscious beauty awakes from its dream;
And basks the (Jay long in bis bright golden beam.
Like a miniature sun, so dazzling and bright,
Befleettng the rays ofits cortowrd light.
It smSfrigly greets ns on the hill or the green, •
Thus lending enchantment where’er it is seen.
Ahf well I remember, Id the morning of youth,
The zest it gayo doty—the incentive to truth
And this plight gem, when crushed to the sward,
Throws back its brigfatblnshcs and looks up to Qod.
So mee)c and spiinUd. so patient ard true, -
Its fidelity seemed my young heart to woo,
As o’er It I bent—it seemed whispering kind.
And bade me took upward true pleasure to find.
Then say not *ds ruin, gold embossed flower,
•Ott hath it cheered in adversity’s hour!
And taught me celestial joys to admire,
And ever and Purdy to Heavcn aspire.
Teßotv Springt, June, 1859.
Hdfd Utisccllang.
Ko (Right to Indorse.
1. A man has np right to indorse, when
the failure'of the first party to meet his
obligation will render the creditors of the
indorser liable to loss in consequence of
such indorscipent.
2. I?e has ho right to indorse for another
man unless he make provision for meeting
such* obligation, Independent of and after
providing for all other obligations.
8. He has no right to indorse unless he
fully intends to pay what he premises to,
promptly, in case the first party; fails to do
so. Few indorsers prepare for this.
4. His relations to his family demands
that he shall opt obligate himself to another,
simply at the:risk of defrauding or depri
ving them of frhat belongs to them.
5. Hp shopld never indorse or become
responsible far any amount without secu
rity is fhrnished by the first party. It
should be made a : business transaction
rarely a mattpr of friendship. It is equiv
alent to a loan of capital to the amount of
the obligation! and the same precaution
should be taken to secure it. .
6. A man has no more right to-expect
another to indorse his note without recom
pense, than to expect an insurance com
pany to insure his home or his life gratui
tously.
7. It is not good business policy for one
to ask another to indorse his note, promis
ing to accommodate him in the same man
ner. The exchange of signatures may
have, and usually does have, a very unequal
value. It is’ better to secure him the
amount, and a like security for the
amount of responsibility incuircd.
8. It in better to do a business that will
involve no necessity for asking or "ranting
such favors, 6r making such exchanges.—
It i&always safe and j nst to do so.— Piairie
Farmer i •!; >
Luckl—l; may here, as well as apy
wherc, (jsaid iHenry Ward Beecher, In a
recent lecture) impart the secret of what
is called|g6od and 'bad luck. There are men
who, suppose-Providence to have an im
placable; spite against them, bemoan in
poverty pf a old age the miafor
tunr or; their lives. Luck forever ran
againpt |hem &nd for others.
Ope, with rK good profession, lost his
Jack in the riser, where he idled his time
away in fiahiOg, when he should have been*
ip the qjEce. Another with'a good trade,
hnrnt'up his luck with his hot
temper, which provoked al. his employers
to leave him. Another, vrlth a lucrative
business, lost, his luck By aw «kir> g diji.
gence at everything but his business
Another, who steadily followed his bottle,
Another, whd was honest and constant at
his work, erred; by perpetual misjudge
ments, he locked discretion. Hundreds
lose their luck by endorsing; by sanguine
speculations; by trusting fraudulent men;
and by dishonest gains. A man never has
good luck who has a bad wife. I never
knew an early-rising, hard working pru
dent man, careful of his earnings and
strictly honest, who complained of bad
luck. A good character, goolrnabits, and
iron industry, are impregnable to the as
saults of all the ill-luck that fools ever
dreamed of. But when I sec a tatterde
malion creeping out of a groggery late in
the forenoon, with his hands stack in his
pockets,! the rim of his hat tamed up, and
the crown knocked in, I know be has had
bad luck —for the worst of all lack is to
he a sluggard, a knave, or a tippler.
A negro oocp gave a
fceiry m* opposition,
none at aU.”
[INDEPENDENT IN EVERYTHING. J
If you wish to be always thirsty, ho a
drunkard; for the ofteoer and more you
drink, the oftencr and more thirsty you
will be.
If you seek to prevent! your friends
raising you in the world, be a drunkard;
for that will defeat all their efforts.
If you would effectually counteract your
own attempts to do well, be a drunkard;
and you will uot be disappointed.
It you wish to repel! the endeavors of
the wbdle world to raise you to character,
credit and prosperity, be a drunkard, and
you will most assuredly triumph.
If you are determined to be poor, be a
drunkard; and you will soon be ragged and
penniless.
If you would wish to starve your family
be a drunkard; will consume the
means of their
If you would b^mposed on by knaves,
be a drunkard ; that will make their task
easy.
If you wish to be robbed, be a drunk
ard ; which will enable the thief to do it
with mure safety.
If you would wish to blunt your senses,
be a drunkard ; and you will soon be more
Stupid than an ass.
. If you would become a fool, be a drunk
ard , and you will soon lose your under
standing.
If you wish to unfit yourself for rational
intercourse, be a drunkard; for this will
accomplish your purpose.
If you are resolved to kill yourself, be a
drunkard; that bing a sure road to de
struction.
If you would expose both your folly and
secrets, be a drunkard ; and they will soon
be made known.
If you aVe too strong, be a drunkard;
you will soon bo subdued by too powerful
an enemy.'
If you would get rid of your money
without knowing how, be a drunkard, and
it will vanish insensibly.
If you would have no resource when
past labor but a workhouse, be a drunk
ard ; and you will be unable to provide any.
11 you are determined to expel all com
fort from your house,* be a drunkard; aud
you will soon do it effectually.
If you Would always be under strong
suspicion be' a drunkard ; for, little as you
think it, all agree that those who steal
from themselves and famlies will isb
others.
If you would be reduced to the necessity
of shunning your cxeditors, be a drunk
ard ; and you will soon have reason td pre
fer the by-paths to the public streets.
If you would be dead weight on the
community, and ‘‘ cumber the ground,” be
a drunkard; for that will render you use
less, hilpless, burdensome and expensive.
Ifyou would be a nuisance, be a drunk
ard ; for the approach of a drunkard is like
that of a dunghill.
1& yom would be bated by your family
and iVienus, be a drunkard ; and you will
soon be more than disagreeable.
If you would be a pest to society, be a
drunkard; and you will be avoided as in
fections.
If you do not wish to have your faults
reformed, continue to be a drunkard; and
you will not care for good advice.
If you would smash windows, break the
peace, get your bones broken, tumble un
der carts and horses, and be locked up in
watch-houses, be a drunkard; and it will
be strange if you do not succeed.
If you wish all your prospects in life to
be clouded, be a drunkard; and they will
soon be dark enough.
Finally if you are determined to be ut
terly destroyed in estate, body, and soul,
be a drunkard; and you will*soon know
that it.is impossible to adopt a more effec
tual means to accomplish your— end.
B&. A witness, a jolly, plupop old lady,
in the Supreme Court at Wdrch ester,
Massachusetts, recently was asked what
time a certain train of cars passed her
house. She replied that she commenced
knitting ut 3 p clock, and had knit twice
around the leg of a stocking before they
came along. The next question was, of
course, how long itobufd take to knit
twice arodnd. The Judge here in .his
usual quiet humor, suggested that that
wdulff depend upon the size of the stock
ing. To this the witness remarked that
the stocking was for herself, and that they
could exercise ■their own judgement os to
the size, and guess how long It would take,
Insects generally most lead a truly
jovial life. Think what It must be to
lodge in a lily J Imagine a palace of ivory
or pearl, with pillars of silver and capitals
of gold, all exhaling such a perfume as
never rose from human censor I - Fancy,
again,, the fUn pf tuckingyoureelfup.for
the night in the folds of a rose, rooked to
sleep by. the .gonial sighs of a summer's
air,; and nothing to-do when you awake
but to wash yourself in a dew-drop and
fall to and eat yo ur bed-cloths I
.■•' it-.. .. - .
*owThe ydjing l*dv yho tefteed to &°
mH $$
pfthognns had m bwcl*es*e
few dayaatSaody Hoot, lookingodt&r
a ship that is said to be in stays
. Read, Pause and Reflect.
Blaclt Soldlerft.
The French boast that some of their
fiercest and most terrible troops were the
Tnrcos, as black as a coal, natives of North
Africa, men whose fierce passions mount
up to perfect frenzy in inoments of a
charge, and who, officeredby Frenchmen
of judgment to guide and direct their tre
mendous energies, do all that men can do
on the field of battle, and seem rather like
tigers in the impetuosity of their attacks.
The French have no doubt learned, in
deed, a. useful lesson in the art of war
from the Arab troops with which they
have been brought in contact *on the
coast of'Algires. The suddenness, swift
ness and whirlwind character of attack,
sweeping all before it, palsying all resis
tance, and trampling in the dust all op
position ; ‘this sort of attack has been
brought to a degree of perfection by the
Zouaves and the Turcos from a hard-earn
ed experience of its terribleness on the
plains of Africa. Something of this kina,
indeed, is best, and the only possible kind
of force that can operate to in
breaking a lipe of soldiers Wjell supplied
with the new guns' of long range now in
use. The rapidity with which they cover
the ground, the irregularity of their for
mation, and the wild fierceness of their at
tack, fascinating and so disarming for a
moment an enemy, renders iPodern war
fare, no less than the old modes of fighting,
a hand to hand encounter, ■ i
Ideas of Children.-— A devoted
Christian woman was instructing her lit
tle nephew in serious things, find showed
him a picture in Fox’s Book of Martyrs
where Christians were being torn in pieces
by lions in the amphitheatre. The child
looked on for some time in silence and
evident sympathy, when all of a sudden he
exclaimed : “ See that poor Utile lion, he
can’t get any ”
“ What are you doing ?” asked a mother
of her little girl. “ Playing school,” was
the reply. “ But it is Sunday to-day.”—
“ I know it;” said the child* "sal am
playing Sunday School.”
A mother was instructing her daughter
in the duty of prayer and the sore answer
given to believers ; and proceeded to re
peat the Lord’s Prayer. When she came
to the clause, “ Give us this dav,our daily
bread,” the little one broke eat with, “ Oh,
mother, say cake, say cake.” .
Lung in Bed.—fJp piece pf indolence
hurts the health more than ; the modern
custom of lying abed too long jn the morn
ing. This is the general practice in towns.
The inhabitants of cities seldom rise bo
fore eight or nine o’clock, but the morn
ing is undoubtedly the best time for exer
cise, while thp stomach is empty and the
body refreshed with sleep. Besides, the
morning air braces and strengthens the
nerves, and in some. measure answers the
purpose with a cold bath. Let any one,
who has been accustomed toiliejn bed
till eight or nine o’clock, rite by six or
seven, spend a couple of hours iu walk
ing, riding or any : other active diversion
without doors, he will find his spirits cheer
ful and serene throughout |ihe day, his
appetite keen, and his body braced and
strengthened. . ;
We’ll Manny this Fa^l.—l gave
her a rose, and gave ho: a ring, and I
asked her to marry me then 1 but she sent
them all hack, insensible thing, and said
she’d' no notion of men. I told her I’d
oceans of money and goods, tnefi to fright
en her with a growl; but fhe answered
“ she wasn't bro’t .up in the woods to be
scared by the screech s of an pw|.” 1 cal
led her a beggar, and everything bad; I
slightef her features and form; fill at
length I succeeded in getting her mad,
and she raged like a. sea in a storm. And'
then in a moment I turned bad smiled,
and called her my angel and all; she fell
in my arms like a wearisome: child, and
exclaimed, ‘‘ We will Wny this fall.”
Life Without TBiALs.-r-Would yon
wish to live without a trial,? j Shed-you
would wjsh to die but half a With
out triad you? cannot guess; your own
strength. Men do not learn tcl swim bn a
table ; they most go into deep! water, and
buffet the surges. If you wish to under
stand their true character—you would
know their whole strength-—of what they
are capable—throw them overboard—over
with them—-and if they are worth saving,
they will swim ashore themselves.
BgU The beavers assemhled pn the bank
of a beautiful stream, and aftOr consulta
tion, said to water: ‘ . you are very
noisy in year course, and weithink, very
proud of ypur babbling, hut we will throw
logs across your pathway and plaster the
interstices so that you can’t get through,
and your- voice wiUhe hushed.” “ I’ll
be dammed if you replied the water.
: tfst *-‘ Jeff, why ain ypu like the cedar V*
? U 1 guv's it up, Sam ) I can ? t tell you.”
•■', “Case yoa : stays green both summer
and wibter.”' ' ■'- - 1; ' ■;>" "
.•Jf "■■■.• ~'r^U'r.*v' • ' ,'•- . ■« *' i-•
"M are often fannad by
people whe j«ey for a moxsrofhoieywiUi
a life of vinegar.
■i hi
_ swebt little girl named Sarah, had
to church, and went home fall of
Wh#t ene had seen and heard. SHting at
the table with the fiuntljr j she asked her
who had been to church,, bat who
V ve *£ wio . ked »an, whether he ever
prated. Ho did not like the question,
and in a veryangry manner, replied.
. 4 " w your mother, or your aunt Solly,
that net you up to that, my little girl"
. P a P*»/ B*id the little creature:
* the preacher aaid, “All good people
pray; and those who don’t pray, aiidtoßo*
ing to heayen." -Pa. do you, pray f’
Thm was more than her father could
stand, and ip a rough way he said.
“ Well, yon, and your mother, and your
aunt Sally, may go your way, and I will
go mine."
“ Pa,” saili the little creators, with
sweet sunplioitj, “ which way arc you go
ing ? This question pierced bis heart.
It flashed upon him that he was in the
todeath. He. star tod from his chair,
burst into tears, and immediately began
to cry for mercy. Within a few dayahe
was a happy convert, and, I belive he will
appear m heaven as a star in bis little
daughter’s crown of rejoicing; s
An Unequal Contest.— An amusing
incident occurred while Van Ambnrglft
menagerie was crossing the Appomattox,
a short distance above the Pocahontas
bndge, Btrikingly illustrative of thc fact
that the ball-dog is the most courageous
of all .animals, and will attack any crea
ture, regardless of size. As the elephant
entered the water with his usual slow and
cautious step,some individuals the crowd,
prompted by a spirit of mischief, hied on
a large bull dog to attack the huge animal.
The dog, instantly obeyed, and; plunging
into the water, seized hold of one of the
hind legs of the elephant, on which the
latter only switched him with his tail, as
he would brush off a fly, but not ridding
himself of bis assailant by such gentle
means, and feeling sharp teeth" at work
upon his leg, he suddenly threw his snout
around, and seizing the dog, held Urn un
der the water until he was nearly drowned**
then, raising him high in the air, threw
him at least a hundred feet out into the
stream.' Fully satisfied with the pniish
ment ho had received, the dog myfy his
way to shore, and beat a hasty retreat. '
A Printing Office Anecdote.—-a
young English lad, just “come overjv be
came an apprentice in a printing office, to
“ learn the trade.’' When learning the
letter boxes in the,“case,” he asked the
printer s “ devil,” a mischievous voting
scamp, where the E box was. The “ de£
il” pointed him to the L box. After hav
ing studied over the “ case** long enough
to know all the “ boxes" of the alpljiihet
ths foreman asked him to « go over” them
naming each letter-box; the juvenile Johti
Bull did so, and got them a« right except
E and L. ■ 't'*' '
“ You’ve got those two mixed xxp, ,r re
marked the foreman. '
“ Well,’,’ replied the young Enetisher.
“hi asked that party
deni,) where HE was, and 'e pomted’ls
finger, to HELL !” " >
The foreman jgave the “ devil** a sharp
look, and he gnnned saUmi^dly.
4 traveler am that if he were
asked to describe the first sensations of a
camel ride, he wonld say; « Take a mu
sic stool, and having wound it up as high
as it would go, pfct it in a cart trithhnt
springs, get on top, and drive the cart
transversely across a plowed field, and yon
will then form, some notion of the terror
and uncertainty yon would experience t|io
first time yon mounted a camel.” 1 ’
Breathes there a man with soul s<y
doad,who never tp himself hath said, will
a family paper take, both for my own sad
children’s sake I If such there be, let
him repent, and have the paper to him
sent j and if he'd pass a happy winter; he
in advance should pay the pnnter. ‘ f
B®. See here, Gripps, I understand you -
have a superior way of curing hams. I
should like to learn it.” “ Well, yep* I
know vary well how to cure them, broth*
trouble with me, just now, is to find oat a
,way toyiro-cuw them.”
.I®* An Irishman testifying" in
Court, the other day, in regard to as
sault with a gun, and delivered himself in
thi? naanner“ Flaze your hotter* he
stroke; a heavy blow with a coon. and
broke it in three halves!” ’
4®* A lady being about to manrn
small man was told that he was a very.tad
fellow. , - . v
“ Well, said the lady if ho is tobad
ene comfort-—there is yexy |ittle
MhW-T'
’ 1®? r JMiss, may I see von homa Mtld
-to hflirfc--'
tha short rapl* &
“ Oh I don’t mean now, but someothar
night, when I can’t go anywhere else.”
editors and proprietors.
A Child’s Eloquence.
NO. 34.