- v ‘ !' —r-Mwih—_i A ~ rrimTiTiT,«,— J 1 - ""' 1 / (-4 ■G^ COMMEfcCrit^ Pa. Chartered M65.^W )*. .NoxvtUetho lirmii ' School of th« U datic* of the Coanr f. of BooU-keejiiug ic; ut Arithmetic Jessiks, V:>;r T..VTIIY ■ > <**-! aitim-.tit of • y—K.tpid Cc:m :.ii!AVEU v. oiuc. T**"*** NT IN FORM ATHjifc -*« 1 -' ■■: v^‘tlon— .' i.yiciuiu.s ruined Ja MjJrJJJ** S' t'.v'O tn S7OJDO. •criv-.l at halfprto* >; i--;’pcc;JiitU3 of Businne* #T* -■ two rtftinp*. unaSSSte^?*?^ i *'• Cll lh MJS M-mi. UOODS HAVE AERITSn7®* : iTKXK.n FOR asdsaus. . . j... .£t”v ’ •.1. K.-1« «» ii I. year, \ [-•II wo where the t ;ii>.v. 1 1 .remind* '.icii (Jcn.lUrrison i.| k-j with the crowd Sd4 ravtan ii.i.ir mcooumioips eroiawfelS vuhey, uiid tho qu&Dtltr of y ‘.ansi be srSUng' off %Sy ' -»' s ; I wouw n,y : . vl ar.K will be I j* -a golccted Kiortmeat r/lftij cctit* anilfire ttmlßrlmtfr ;a. w»J *H cthw *o9SpO{b^S that, where I .up . Uipjxir** with MmeiLjSir.Vi >.u-l every other. arSc'fflSif** . cou be > i'■;•’ prodac* uhcatn rnihMini . ... *• !* L ’<*«israWl &sn£s&bit 'frrnceanan«»u«sS*W^SttlS •infiriug to maico«» f«< a Inteiiiii w, have made %rajpStrt - :! >!■ c;nptlon» of aaa C.>j;i7 trimmod, -....- > ;T S ulaurt to girt; mori er ]«« • ! rc!y frea irom «noki: .■ !' 1 50 jwr cent. <*s»pfeua» L.:,_iK(in- in - ►' j.ty utfcrital Wr lh« KU aftlt i- . .vw«, i-'fiCtoriO^lUl^CKvtlH^ I - n Oil Lamp -nn ~>i«i dfftcnW lu fluid ftml oil rf'iyp»»|l i: • v-tv {mrjioa'! of iv r-..it. : sfuctioii in all caaep- : • 0. W. KEMJS*. n:L.— inf.irni? th» :■ ; - liMjlxmiftAtM 1b u:rnitnro, ic.,4c, ' : ■■ ■- j >maiad!oui, and'vreQitelcsteUd ' . ' • • ---■; 'Jie«k:ttesitf> :.>ii or trouble i 'a v.-c fo favjr li;ui iritb tJialr na ■! diirUig tb*ltj«t4j , wttßbi»- i; Ir. nird an obligi^aj^^jwftl . jouy jKKtrnpt. o£ eveiy )■ --.I arflclj: i '.mc matWr*, • ; :•> . '•. .SHOES ," ; ; ■; ■ l i = t!S l SiSi™a&« ■'• -h Is» ofTtirs at Ci]r price*- , t-;niioa to ■ tatiafeclton. Noiwlnltuiv • ~! v '•< :V .J ■> Sain etreet, 0 Xfiil’H. -" & ■ i;*-V jony H.jwgjßjH*- wi-rei, r -niS;SW : rctfilll^' it au ag *^rs^^E l I .; A (wars be luxnrioortj «*Pl~** c.-:;;itr> and cities, pijd ■•■-• brand*. Uin charge* .'. t mi- Hotel in thftptaeMJ'X .: m cmi.lainea of W‘t o ** *,£ r -n. Expecting tareertisN 1 "* i : fully int'-mlipcto -!.-,- public and L !vi JOHN BOWMAJi- • ■ • saOKS.T^^B® • on lumJ-lffiii'XrtD tgfifcV r the sU»onte ,*l*fc v ;-■ u tjm nt oI'BOOrS 1 . -r niK-le to order* 1 . final Shoe*, Oort . ■ iiuo of bnrtneW,of-jv r ... i\o niost rciwohaM«t«n»* » J. sriOBMAN*?. VSTERBI ; i« hard liniM, iJwWjWfSIS .7 OYSTEUSto thl ; fK-reafter be V CENTS,T -• Ztk* ,\Uo be -r^ Logan Heme. I: AILING IX jilted to octet.AiliWW* 't^ssaSAises. i.'.Me [ SUGAR, #|P? BR .N T D • ulr TANDAJUJjftj ti-tf. VOL. 4. McCBOM ft DDK, PbM«ww Ad Proprietor* of tbruLe paid for. UUU Ot UTBIHWi 1 insertion 2 do. 3 do. $ 26 $ MX $ 6 0 jq 75” 1 qo 0„o square. ( » Lines, I 1 00 I SO 2 00 T *° m « 1 1 50 2 0O 2 SO and less than three months, 25 cents per •qnare tor each insertion. 3month9 6 months. Bit Unesnr less, * 2 40 * 4 00 One senate, 4 00 e 00 Two “ 6 00 , 8 00 Three “ 6 00 10 00, Four « 10 00 14 00 \ Half a coiomot 14 qq 25 00 ' xSSISSwrs end Executors Notices, by the year, three squares, with liberty to change, Piifeesioiml or Business Cards, not exceeding 8 lit*., with paper, per year, Coimiunicathras of » political character or individual In terest will be charged according to the above rates. Advertisements not marked with the number of insertions dedml, will be Continued till forbid and charged according to the above terms. .. , _ Unsinewtieticea five cents per line for every insertion. Obituary notices exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square tribune directory. CHURCHES, MINISTERS, &.C. Presbyterian, Bov. A B. Olakk, Pastor.—Preaching ev trv Sabbath morning at U'A o’clock, and in the evening at f t o’clock. Sabbath School at Bo'clock, A. 3L, in the Lec tnn* Room. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening in ihc »anus room. Methodist Epifcrpal, Rev. S. A. WIhSOK, Pastor.—Preach ing even Sabbath morning at ll .o’clock and in the even ing. Sabbath School in the Lecture Boom at 2 o’clock, P. M. General Prayer Meeting’in sanie jroom every Wednes day evening. Young Men's Prayer Jlcetiug every Friday' fTOlil.g- Etaijeli'"d Luthtrar., Bov. Jason Sites. Pastor.—Preach ing every Sabbath morning at lojjo’clock, and at 6*41 o’clock inUio evening Sabbath School !u Uic Lecture Room at 2W o’clock. P. >l. Prayer Meeting ui same room every iVednVsclay evening. United Brethren, U=v. Vi. E. Dick,Pastor. —Preaching ov aj Sabbath morning at lOJsJ o’clock and in the evening at ;ir o’clock. Bahhalh S-’hool in the I. .. ture Loom at b o’clock, A. M. Prayer Mooting every Wednesday evening in tame room. Protestant Episcopal, Roy. K. W. Oiivra, Pastor.—Divine Service 2d ami -ith Sundays of each mouth at lot. M. 6 „i "’ JV,7v > Nu - 25, I- O- K. M., hold stated Conn exiling in the L O. O. F. Hall, In the ; ”T C S?“PJc- Council Fire kindled at 7th rnn 80th tnrth. W. A. ADAMiV C. of R. ' • [June 25, ’67-ly /uiunr &ma o/ Jni'nco, Camp No. 31, meets every Mon “rjigbt in tho third stpry of Patton’s Hall, at 7>so’clock MMngtm amp, No. 54, XS. qf meets every r **“f CT «“iug. In the 2il story of Patton’s Hhil. j -freirioa, No. 3U, & of T, meets CTcrvSatur b fT Un V?» th * 0“ TeHoiwf Hall, Masonic temple. VpT?V D - W.; Wm. C. HeOonnfck, P u ? tc !» w - A -i D - Galbraith, B. 8.; WOUani *4**s Ml'bael CUbanrivT.; DavidT. Cald v- W-Patton, X. 8.; A.7D: Cherry, Of*. ,JMwa jßeftayea* Library and Reading Room Auodar ou Saturday 6Tenlng In Jaimv °? tob J ;r - Bond ofDirertow meoton tto to * Tea l n Bln each month. Eoom open from ,0 10 o clock every evening, (Sftndajr excepted.} COUN-TY OFFICERS. Tsylor - Baldridge. WwS“:~ Uagh 1 cawweu - L. Hcwit. l*^» < M"jb^° ner *~ JaCOl) Ban ‘ hart > J- B. McFar- A. Caldwell. Appwfrcr—Joseph O. Adlnm. a^WyHsaffcitas Fox. o/ Cbnnuw Dean. BOP,OUQH ONCERS. tt&LSZ?***. o **’ J - M - Cte^- Q- AJlam. Pnee. ®-SinH, C- OvUwon, deorce W. tS amra ®°®«i 000-fe-Ortmcr. C. McCormick. ' = 'f^v^avissaiisr , u Jest “ H. Greenwood. v, “ JaCObßottenberg. T If£f gracobSankT ■ Bmth It 5:2: Jacob Hewer., Hannan, John poado. — A HOT! £N3); l 3H*t 9 f Qroceriee IgveJ^Jbeeb^re- A. RO P3H. Ihrngg&t. THUNKS, OJt- iSffi AT McCOßMlGK’Sgtore 1 Hot. s#;-tf. cut V W KKBKUUV XIIE ALTOONA ALTOONA MAIL SCHEDULE. MAILS CLOSE. 8 CO A.M U OO A. M. and 6 00 P. M 800 « 8 35 A. M 11 30 A. M. > 040 P. M II 30 A.M. and 630 « RAILROAD SCHEDULE. MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS- S digital tooia* i. txcs&ot. I am willing and roadyfrwn earth to go, But at tie thought of parting, the tears will flow; I weep; but It b not with coward fear. At the pawing from this to another iphere; It ia not the flying hour I dread, . And »tfa bleaaed to be of the «early dead;» It b sweet to go trym a world of strife. And I have no fear* for the futon Lib: 1 year. f 5 00 7 00 10 00 12 00 14 00 20 00 40 00 1 76 Bat I grieve to think of the flnrt dark day. In the houaebold bond, when Ipaaa away; Of the desolate air in the dreary room, When the darkness b horror, the sunlight b gloom; Of the.whbpered words; of the stealing tread Bound the form, when the breath has fled; When the kindest voice to the mourner’s ear Has lost the power to soothe or cheer. 10 00 ’Tia n dreary thought, that the winter snow Will drift o’er the spot whom I slumber lew ; But 0,1 think, when the summer hours Shall come again, with the buds and flowers, All the music and fragrance I loved so well. And the sbft winds sighing down tho dell, Where the beautiful rivet murmurs by, Reflecting the blue'of the glov/tag ahy;’ That my sisters will alt by tho water's side. And sadiy talk of the one that died That my brothers will steal from their noisy play. To weep by my grave, at the close of day; And my parents will look on tha vacant chair, And miss me most at tho hour of prayer; While one who is now on a far ofi shore,' Will return to miss me forevermore. Then tell him to come to tho dark line stream. Where together wo dreamed such a Beautiful dream. To fistan again to the wood-bird s lay. While ho watches tjhe waves u- tlu-y Jmice away; And to linger till after the sun has set, - Til! the daylight end darkness have softly met; Then when earth seems a tinge of the heavens to wear, To think that nay love will be lingering there. I know that erelong, in the world above, ' 1 shall meet again with the friends I love; But it seems like a fearful thing to go. And leave on each bosom a weight of woe: I grieve that a gloom for a while must fall On the hearts of my loved odes—l gr ieve fur all; But these tear* are for him that is loved the best, The dearer, e’en dearer than all the rest. « SO A.M. IBKsttßang. It was the year 18—, in the spring of the year, and in the loyely month of May, that the circumstance occurred which I am about to relate. A young lady of eccentric character, but of rare mental endowments, and extra ordinary personal attractions, had five suitors, equally assiduous in their atten tions. Unable to decide upon which she should bestow her hand, she gave f-Efiti notice to call upon . her on a certain day and each state his claims in the presence of the others. Four of them were confident of success but the fifth had a downcast look, and sighed when he gazed on the object of Ms devotion. “ Gentlemen/' eaid she. “ you have honored me with proposals of marriage, I have jas yeti neither refused hor accept red any of you-; state your claims to'my hand, that I may know upon what grounds I may be justified in bestowing it." v Mr. A. answered as follows : “If you many me, you shall live in a splendid hoose, liave carriages and ser vants nt your command, and enjoy all the luxuries of life. I aim independently rich." B. spoke next : “My rival ]ias said, very true, that he is rich, but I am of noble descent, my fore fathers were descendants from the first noblemen of the land. 1 am of a family with whom an alliance would be consi dered an honor to the wealthiest heiress of the land." C. stated-his clams.; “ l am a politician, and have now a re- Sntation that older persons have envied. Text year J shall run for Congress, and have ho doubt of success; by marrying me your name will be banded down to pos terity. ! D. twisted his moustache with the air of an exquisite, and said : “Angelic creature, pon my word, I think you have Mready made up your mind in my favor. I am the most fash ionahle pressed person in town. lam the belt jndge ppmas. • Tosi see what a per fect genrieman I aiin." When it came E's turn to speak, all eyes were turned toward* him. Poor fel low, he was dreadfully embarrased. “ WeU/ ; said! the lady, “ what say you Mr. E.” “Aloe 1” was the reply, "I yield to .these gentlemen; they lave the advantage-over me in every respect," and he topic his hat. 'toleave.' "■i .. . ; v ''~ ’ j" Stop,” said tlie ;lady, "make your statements, no matter how humble may be “I am poor.” > < r Go on t ,> ■: . “X am not of a noble femilyi," *, Go on, sir;/ v.; '}*■■■■■' «I am unknown to the people of the ■ .>•" f*No matter, proceed 1" > il I work fgr a livelihood, and it is hard ly possible'that I can make yon happy. the diug. r ~r~ How He Won Her. BT D. HDD4OS. ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 1859 fori em afford none of the inducements neld out by my rivals.” “ I*™ j«dge of that sir, what, next ?” ♦‘Nothing, only I love you, and take a newspaper.” ' . t 1 . At ia Messrs. A. B. C. and D. burst into a loud laugh, and exclaiming in one voice, “So do we, I love you to distrac tion. I take four newspapers.” “ Well,” said the lady, “in one month withdraw *“ WU9W ’ You ““7 At the end of the month, the five suitors again appeared. Turning to each one in succession, the lady answered : “Riches are not productive of happi ness hooted nobility of blood is the poorest Oi all recommendations, fame is fleeting, and he that lias only the garb of a gentle man, is to be pitied. I have found out the names of the papers to which you all subscribe, and have ascertained that none of you who have boasted of wealth, nobili ty, fame and fashion, have paid for them : now gentlemen that_ is a dishonest act, and m my humble opiniou, a dishonest man is not a suitable person for woman to confide m. Now Mr. E., you take one news oa per, and I have ascertained that you have likewise paid for it. Likewise you are all you pretend to be, you are not cheating the publisher in order to make a show in the world, as well considered. Mr. E I give you my hand and fortune.-” 5 Wliy should a 3-laa Swear I X cab conceive of no reason ■why he should, but of ten reasons why ho should not; 1- It is mean A man of high moral standing would almost as soon stool a sheep as swear. 1 2. It is vulgar for a decent man. 3. It is cowardly. Implying! a fear either of not being believed or obeyed. 4. It Is ungentlemanly. A gentleman, according to Webster, is a genteel man, well bred refined. Such an one will no more swear than go into the street and throw mad with a clod-hopper. 5. It is indecent. Offensive to deli cacy, and extremely unfit for human ears. 6. It is foolish. “ Want of decency is x want of sense.”—-Pope. . 7. It is abusive. To the mind that conceives the oath, to the tongue which utters it, and to the person at whom it is aimed 8. It ia venomous; showing a man’s heart to be a nest of vipers, and every time “ e one of them sticks out his head. 9. It is contemptible; forfeiting the re spect of the wise and good. 19- It is wicked; violating the - divine law, and provoking the displeasure of Him who will not hold him guiltless that takes his name in vain. B.KA.irf s. An American sloop-of-v/ar tad jiut into aa' : .Knglish port, and ihc first lieutenant went ashore to rcoou In the course of his travels, he entered a tavern where a number of British officers were carousing They at once recognized the lieutenant’s nationality by his dress and resolved to amuse themselves by bul lying him. ‘ Weil, comrade/ says one, ‘ you belong to the United States, I see.” S 'Bight/ was thie answer. would you do to a man who should say that your navy did not contain an officer fit for a bumboat V continued the Englishman. : 1 1 would blow bis brains out!’ retumeu heutenant,. with great coolness. There was silence among her majesty’s servants for a moment; but finally one of them, more muddled than the rest, man aged to stammer out; ‘ W—well, Yank, I say it!” The American walked to his side, and replied, calmly; ; 7 * It is lucky for you, shipmate, that you have no brains to ploio out I’ Struck by the dignity of the answer, the offender at once apologized, and x our hero was invited to join the mess. A Cum Yankee. —Early one morn ing the scholars of one of our district schools were agreeably surprised to find upon the outside door, “ No Soule,” and the most of them made preparations to enjoy the holiday, not learning but that it was genuine order. It appeared,' however, that a roguish youth, a lover of mischief more than his books, had written in large letters the joyful news. « No Scnle” was the notice posted np4-the idea we understand, but spelling was [bad. The afternoon brought all together, and in -the stern vh»ge of the master enough was seen to convince us'that aH Was not right, and now came the thg of whr. , ‘ s , r(ler H tte toys to appear be fore Jus presence, ahd oneby one, criticised our spelling,, as as the word school was concerned.; stood the test until the hero, with domic phiz, made his appearance, |coog&dpnce, distinctly said— The master took him by the coiar, and with a joyfpl expression at the'success of the ruse, laid on the birch right merrily. Altogether too mean Spicy Correspondence. A TRUE WIFE. Wc are assured by a friend who Is per sonally cognisant of what he states, that the following piquant correspondence is A gentleman whose business calls him a good deal from home, & ac customed to give the custody of his cor respondence to his wife, an intelligent lady, who, in obedienee to instructions, opens all letters that come in her husband's "ab sence; answers such of them as she can, like a confidential clerk, and forwards the rest to her liege lord, at such places as he may have designated at his departure.— During a recent abscence of her husband the lady received a letter-, of which the following, (omitting names, dates and places,) id a true copy ; My Dear Sir: — l euw a fine picture ol you yesterday, and fell in love with it as I did with the original in W last winter, when I saw you more than an hour, though I suppose you did not see me among so many. I f oa r yon will think me forward in thus addressing you, but I trust you are as noble and unsuspecting as you arc handsome and brilliant. Perhaps you would like to know something about me—your ardent admirer ! Well, I am not very good at description, but I will say I am not married—(though you are lam told.) My friends tell me I have nol a pretty face,, but only a good figure, i aid rather petite, have black eyes, black hair, and a dark complexion— that is I am wnat. is called a “ brunette.” lam stop ping for a lew weeks with my brother-in law and sister in this town, and I dearly wish you would meet me there before I return to V/ At any rata do not fail to write Ino at least a few words to tell whether I shall ever see you again, and know you more intimately. Forgive my boldness and believe me • Your friend To this letter the wife, who, by the bye, has not the least knowledge of the person to whom she was writing, made the follow ing answer: Madmoisellc—Your letter of the inst 7 addressed to Mr. was duly re ceived. Mr. , who is my husband, directed me, when he left home a few days a SP} to open all his letters, and to answer any of them that I conveniently could. As you seem to be rather impatient, I will answer your letter myself. I do not think your description of yourself will please Mr. . I happen to know that ho likes black eyes, and hates brunettes most deci dedly. It is quite true (as you seem to suppose) that he judges of women as he does of hdrses \ but-1 do not think your inventory of your « points” is complete enough to be satisfactory to him. You omit to mention your tight, weight, wind, speed, and (here the word is illegible.) Taking your charms at your own estimate, I doubt whether they will prove sufficient ly attractive to draw him so far as B. merely for the .satisfaction of comparing them with the scUedule. ° You say you trust my husband is « un suspecting.” I think that is his nature, hut yet he is used to drawing inferences, which are sometimes as unkind as suspi cious. You say you are unmarried. My advice to you is to marry somebody, as sohn as possible. In most cases, I would not recommend haste; but in yours, I am convinced there is truth in the proverb which speaks of the danger of delay. Should you be so fortunate as to get a husband (which may God mercifully grant!) my opinion is that you will con sider any woman, who should write him such a letter as this of yours, impertinent, and perhaps, immodest. I will deliver your note to M when he returns, and also a copy of my reply which I am sure he will approve. I with as much respect permit. This was the end of the. correspondence. Moral —Young ladies who write affection ate letters to married men should be care ful that the precious missives do not fall into the hands of their spouses, as the amorous writers may chance to get !i more miffs than kisses.— Post. The loveliest valley has a muddy swamp, and the noblest mountains a pier oing blast and the prettiest face some ug ly .features. The fairest complexion is subject to freckles; the handsomest girl is apt to Be proud;. the most sentimental lady loves cold pork; and the gayest mo ther lets her onildren go ragged. The kindest wife will sometimes overlook an absent shirt button ; and the best husband forgets to kiss his wife every lime he strays outside of the gate; and the best dispo sition ed children in the world got angry and squall; and the smartest scholar miss a lesson ; and the wittiest wit says some thing stupid; and the wisest essayest write some nonsense; and Woodworth snores and stars will fall, and the moon suffer eolipso~and men won’s he angels, nor earth Heaven. Mannebs Contagious.— -It is certain that either wise bearing, or ignorant cari riage, is caught as men |takc diseases pne of another; therefore, let men take held of their company.— Xka/ccspearv THE ORPHAN OHM* ' Phave no mother!—for die died When I was very young; But her memory stfll around my haart, Uko morning mbt has hung. ; They tell me of an angel {bra , • That watched me white lelept, : And of a soft and gentle hand That wiped the tear* 1 wept. And that same hand that hold my own When I began to walk And the joy that sparkled in her eyes When first I tried to talk— * Tor they say the mother's haart b pleased When infant charms extend 1 wonder if she thinks of me, In that brigh*, happy i««fi; For I know she is iu heaven bow— That holy place of rest— For she was al ways good to me, Ami the good alone arc I lev 1 remmbor, too, when I wan ui, Slio kiodei! ray burning brow ; Aiul tbt* t*ai lhat fell npoli my whec-k I think I fuel K now And I have «tf II soiur lit tie Sho loaned me he w U> sj>oU; v tho chiding, or the khtojahe gave, I dtill remember Well. Ami then dlio u»od to kueol with tnoj And touch me bow to pray, Ami raise my Utile bauds to hoaron, „ And tell mo what to say 0 mot her? mother I In my heart Thy iniftg*' attll shall bw An 1 I will h* p:- in In avon at last That I may meet rith the*). The Great Str ashing Clock. Henry C. Wright, in a letter to the Boston Liberator, thus describes the great clock in Stnuburg Cathedral:—lam now sitting in a chair facing the gigantic clock, from the bottom to the top not less than 100 feet, and about 30 feet wide, and 15 deep Around me are many strangers, waiting to see the working of this clock as it strikes the hour of noon. The clock is struck in this way; The dial is some twenty feet from the floor, on each side of which is a cherub, or a little boy, with a mallet, and over the dial is a small bell. The cherub on the left strikes the first quarter, and that on the right the second quarter. Fifty feet over the dial, in a large niche, is a huge figure of Time, a bell in his left and a scythe in his right hand s • v^ ront ® figure of a young man with a mallet, who strikes the third quarter, on the hand of Time, and turns and glides, with a slow step, round behind Time.— Then comes out an old man, with a mallet, and places himself in front of him- As the hour of twelve comes, the old man raises his mallet, and deliberately strikes twelve times on the bell, that echoes through the building, and is heard all around the region of the church. The old man glides slowly behind Father Time, and the young man comes on ready to perform his part, as the time comes arounct again. Soon as the old man has struck twelve and disappeared, another set of machinery is put in motion, some twenty feet higher still. It is thus: There is a nigh cross with the image of Christ on it. The instant twelve has struck, one of the Aposdes walks out from behind, comes in front; turns, facing the cross, bows, and walks on. around to his place- As he does so, another, come* opt in front, turns, bows, and passes on. As the last appears, an enormous cook, perched on -the pinna cle of the clock, slowly flaps Its wings, and stretches forth its neck and crows three times, so loud as to be heard outoideof the church to some distance, and so naturally as to be be mlstakened for a real cook. Then all is silent as death. No wonder this clock is the admiration of Europe. It was made in 1571, and has performed these mechanical wonders ever since, ex cept about fifty years, when it stood out of repair. • „ So “ e cruBt J old fellow, who got awfully cheated,” must have written the following. Such “ ladies” are scarce here, “ The model lady puts herchildren out to nurse, and tends lap-dogs.; lies in bed until noon; wears paper soled shoes; pinches her waist; gives the piano fits; forgets to pay her milliner /• outs her poor relations; goes to church when she has a new bonnet; turns tho cold shoulder to her husband, and flirts witjf his friend*- never saw a thimble; don’t 1 know a darn ing needle from a crow-bar; wonders where puddings grow; "eats ham and nggs in private, and dines on a pigeon’s leg in ; public; runs mad after new fash ion; on Byron; adores any mau who grins behind a moustache; and when asked the age of her younjjest child, re plies, “ Don't know indeed; ask Betty I” Not Bad. —A story is tyld of a doctor iajthb goodly town of B—4-, not a hun dred miles from Vermont.” The doctor kept missing Ids wood,' and kppt watch. As was expected, it proved sto be the work of a near neighbor, who sooh appeared and carefully culUng out all dry wOok, started off with ah armful. The doctor hastily gathered up an armful of grOen Wood, and followed, lugging as fast as he could, and just as the man threw down his armfhl the doctor did the same, exclaiming: “ There, you. must burn green wood a part of the time—l have too” and depart ed, leaving the thief to his own reflection*. Whs like £ ** *P«*kil»S*f yourself; do *ot awkward in manner; bo not forward • bo«t not j angle not for praise; dTnot equivocate; toll no lies, not even those oaUed mnooent; Baton when spoken tT 5® at . table J attend to the ladies; dread the character of an ill-bred man: bo WBMrkable for doanHnoaa of person: a£ tend to cleanliness of dreas; atudyeWnoo ,«««■*** avoid odd vidgansms; use polished laSuaS; bo choice in your oomplimente; aoquio a knowledge 0 f the world; praise deiioaov • study the foiblesjof mankind; comnSd vour temper and jCounteaaace; new ac knowledge an enemy, or see affront if y OU S 5i h * ?*! t; a - V °i d wraD S ll ' n ff> m.edlingand tittle-tattle; judge not of mankind harsh n®t:m P , | oitl y to any; beware of* proffered friendship; doubt him who swears to the truth of the thing; he choice Hn your company y adopt no man’s vice*; Si“°7 aug v bttir; refuso »TitatiOM politely, dare to be singular in the right cause, and be not ashamed to refuse; strive to w W to well and grammatical • affect not to rake; be choice in jom amusements ; never appOaf .to be m a hur^; neglect not on old acquaintance; avoid ail kinds of vanity; pike one in company feel his inferiority;: be not \ witty at the expense of another; Be spar, mg ot railery; never whisper in oompanv* look not over one when writing TS ipg, turn no tunes in company, nor he in any way noisy; eat not too fcst nor too slow; spit not on the floor or carpet; hold 00 indelicate discourse; avoid odd habits* lose no time in transacting business; in duJge not in laziness; be not frivolous; Study dignity and pleasing manners; be not envious; show no nastiness in temper taik not long at a time; tell no stones'’; avoid hackneyed expressions; make no digressions; hold no one by the button when miking; forestall not a slow speaker; say not all you think; edaptyourconvex salion to the- company; give not yopr ad vice unasked; renew nodisagreeabJemat ters; praise not another at the expense of .thepreseat comply; avoid rude exprea,. sjoas; avoid mystery and long apolimes ; look people m the face when speakibg ♦ swear not; talk not o u a slave soiL . : SeaM ’.•* ****.& BmW ’ “f? “ n aV v bj 11X0 Boa t know, mass*, abopt “ Wby nol, Tom?" Of course Gov. Medary paid an. There was no help forit. argument with him. J i vei 7 simple and interesting electrical experiment may be made with a sheet |of crown paper, Illustrating, in a *e manner» h°w the most astonish ing effects may be produced by the aim pleat means. Take a sheet of cwrse brown k«Ming H before the fi* ?- - SHI dr y> fold it up into a long stop of about two inches wide. The magnet w now complete. To exhibit its attractive power, cut some strips of writ- paper about three inches long, and about as wide as one of these lines 2 place them upon the table, three or four tpgeth er. Nowi take the magnet, and draw It bnskly under the arm 1 two or three'times its electromagnetism is instantly developed! and becomes apparent when held overdiA small stripes of writing paper,lfotthiiy^v Printing—well have thought it, * r said Mrs. Patfe. ton, taking off her spectacles, wipmgthem and again placing them in proper p&lion thoughts* had oth e rS« to attend to besides printing. If-life if; bla tclb the. truth it must hare been hard WPtk for him to learn the trade. Stmmce Uilhgs, however, happen now a dajj hit Fould thought that M waa suU living and printing a newspaper.” Tho old lady who aad been looking atHhc stgn of ouf Job Office, and hod spoken rather loud, wa§ at this moment spoken to l»y Ike. After a few words wliE him she moved quietly away, remarking— HOw a body can ho mistaken these days 4 ' t NO. 8. ijT 5 tv-