m v. ■; J-.S3T ki .*& ? Hi. - ' ...... is > / ./ -.1.'; "; r: ~r,: ™ .....,. -■.... COMMERCIAL ?»u Chartered IM} B. Now Uio the UnSk iHPNiI tehool of the United I duties orthe *War . of Book-keeping - ;r of Arithmotic Jtxsixs.Tcacbewof In.tix, Profs. of PolunuZSSP'Wtt. iILE ENTRY ry department of ;tic—Rapid Rutinew Writ*-. Counterfeit Moneys. i nidcncc — Commercial r-T' ' or other subjects ~—rwiii' lUcatiou of a practical ** »ms In Pittsburg far ml 'Western Cities. fwiJtgWl SGRATED WORK. S'T IN FORMATION, inic—No Vacation—Tima -Graduates assisted Ik 29SH full Commercial Cour»a/SS?* eks—Board, 52450 ost, $60.00 to S7OjOO. *• ■:ci'ived at Balf price. : -i; • ■Specimens •* "~itlnm wi ~ '• two stoiupe, and f. W. JENKfatB, PuSStfc H. EXCITEMEotT w GOODS HAVE ABMWfc.^ oi hero on the ground again, • as, I, last vear, uskod 11 mo where the now. It reminds me a hen Gen. Harrison was claCtedTiT to go with tbo crowd and jraawiii ling McOORMICK’E STORtftSS, e valley, and the quantity of aa£L • must bo eelllng off very r»p2jJ iond; I would ear to iwu air .. p-itluus will bo fully reaUaad. 11 esloctod assortment qf’Qnn if ■fifty catU and give thatriartan r TiOCERIES, HAHDVrifc UDARWAHE, SXOHKwTi»»**»- ip Bonnets, Misses’ Flsim a". T . .Slippers, with Ml*** £ .ml everyother articlefijuJX ■■ can be hud cheap 7 produce taken EDUCTION a BYfenai.V:. ; other than th— w&iSSSS : K ‘ stf ' fto i^siuti2s£Sßf ',,' T « h«&made a veryatSt all descriptions of goods, attention to keeping an» ■f onr customers, enchas " iilKtl, lIAEDVABI, flnsw. STONEWARE. £Sm AJBOS ;:su Cups, Dried FnUtatdliilAf •ap as .the cheapest, taken in exchangs jtirgeodiisi o e, we hops to share thepstnasn t of goods. -(HaraiSMCr lOSENE OECABBOK Simplicity Spftlyor Ectoomf. to obtain the very best and ebssp i! their reach, shcmU-'cgtl and examine them al wo pledge otmehrse to dstnoa- AT can occur by explosion. c, offensive odor whHa hnrti iuj r.v easily trimmed. >iiy regulated tog(mnan«rlM n lively free from . at least so per cent, cheap* ttet It now in common n*k ably adapted lor the gssoMtfr tresses, Factories, Halls,Ch*NbM, Ighly recommended teWlQrjm. I>on Oil Lump can be sttaehsd la >ln fluid and oil • every purpose of. a psrwlajm. laiisfuction in all cases. -- o. ur. r """ 'Eh.—THE UNDUE dry Informs th» ' ' ■. * Sheriff liyaliurg, rxi traveller*.— Ith. the bouse bo* b*a»ral«*dla t furniture, A&, Ac. “' commodious, and vail fkigliM fort. rninliod with UmOTlWtftWlfr inn,or troohlo will bssnttsdt* boose to Civor bpo with tllrfrpe happy during tbelr slay wilhto l>lr, and an obliging and slnfcl attendance! ; stage. which mains d*oy trips ’ill iamslmrg, stop* MfNP* jou^£xan9h QUESTION WHICH nind of every > beat article lor , . li'T matter*, the t to direct, hot if ‘shoes • at ion of his stock and wfc and an maortment ch he offer* at Ihlr pllee*.- ' tt ;Mion to cmtwa ■WjJJJ®* <• give (atiaCtctioai do Main street, O’Neir*. ■' -1— JOHN B. JUPWB- HOTEL. —THE SOB* artfully in m recently re- RyfljiVA. Is now frioudfl tanner, and ling it an agreeable bote W,*j} 1 always be luxuriously wWjS. . untiy and cities, and h» :« brands. His charge* are JJ* other Hotel In the place, *M°» ; bo complained of by these in. Expectingto roceltea»“• ! ally Intending to dcsMfP Rr ■* 1 public and invitee atiti .l JOHN BOWJU. 1 * SHOBS.HI® •>n hand and will the Masonic - •r made to order,'' Omu Shoes, s line of business, of . > most resfiunsWe tW>' J. BHOPhtfJh '3TEBSJ liard times, I have c*clc. iy oystbrs to ’.l'rvaftci 1 be served CENTS, and cr ! accom also be taraUbeAp itiwJWJ lend with the ‘ AILING ANj’ ruled to order, notice, apply P. . gUQRMARjB. mclasaiuß, waawewr. ; JUST :o assortment J.B SUGAR, TEA A*® Ijr!aiebjr ; A JO) |fl> NEW ANDAmy^K^ [x_tf. se^ow jfeOBtJH 4 EBRN, vol. *■ TRIBUNE. * DEBS, PuWtaherr and Proprietor*. of Um time piit*' ttm 07 ASTtßtlfltVO* ***• 1 inßfrtlbn .2 do. 3 do, . $ ‘is $ 87}$* $6O go 79 100 0a, iqntrc,( °,OnW iOO 160 200 *« “ « ) 180 * 8 U °® - e ,2 80 three week*andle»n than throemonth*, 25 cent* pm •l»r« fcr ** cll ln ** rtioD- j month*. 6 month*. Vyeax. 4 150 $3 00 $.6 00 2 50 4 00 7 00 4. 00 ?99 10 00 inline* or l*»»i Oaeiqouvi I*o “ 5 00 8 00 12 00 Tbr» “ 6 eo 10 00 14 00 rouT 10 00 H 00 20 00 Uilfacdton, 14 a) 25 00 40 00 Z *>• • 5M character’or individual in- SSS according to the above rates. marked wit h the number of insertions til! forbid and charged according cents per lino forcvery insertion. OUtuuj notices exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a sanare. TRIBUNE DIRECTORY. PrMnim, Her. A B. Clarx, Pastor.—Preaching ev . eibtoth morningat 10'A, o’clock, and in the evening at .A “vioct Sabbath School at 9 o'clock, A. M, In tho Lcc li?e Room. Prayer Meeting dvery Wednesday evening in ihi umd room. _ , _ Mctkoditt EpitapoL, Rev. S.A. Wasox, Pastor.—Proach ioi every Salb»tli morning ull o’clock and In the even ly sJjUth School in tho Lecture Rotpn at 2 o’clock, P. 11 Oeneral Prayer Meeting in same room every Wednes day oveßin*. Yonng Men’s Prayer Meeting every Friday "ftSSdical Lutheran, Rev. Jacop Sixes, Pastor.—Preach bi every Sslbsth morning at IUU o’clock, and at 6 U o’clock hjtbtSTCniug. Sabbath School in tho Lecture Boom at ji/ o’clock, P. M. Prayer Meeting in same room every Mcdeealay evening. CnOti Brethren, Rev. W. B. Dice,Pastor.— Preaching ov- Irr Sabbath morning at o’clock and in the evening at TU o’clock. Sabbath School in the hoc tore Room ut 9 Vdoclt, A. M. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening Is same room. Pntatant Episcopal, Rev. B. W. Oliver, Pastor—Divine Service aisnutih Sundays of each month at 10U' o’clock AM, sar. PM. Sunday School at I) o’clock A. JI. '.a&At, Rev. Joint Twiggs, Pastor.—Preaching at 10}d o’clock in the morning, and at in tlio afternoon. Baptist, Rev, U. 11. I'tsn, Pastor—Preaching every Sabbath poring st 10 1 A o’clock, and also in the evening. Sabbath fchool ats o’clock, A.M. X’rayer Meeting every .Weduea dty evening. • A'ncue Uelhvxat, Rev. Sstdep. Car, Pastor.—Preaching every Sanoath ou-ining at 11 o’clock and in theevening, in (be old Onion School House.' (Hlern W»J st Weftern “ Hi)!Udaj»bnrß> intern Through Mail MAILS ARRIVE BUtem Through Mail, (Teettm W»y, Eutern HoUMayabnrg 11 20 A. M. and 630 “ Office open fur the transactiun uf business from 7 A. SI. It* P. IL, during tbs week, and from 3 to 9 o'clock. A. SI. iDSundiy. Judo 4, ’s7—tf j RAILROAD SCHEDULE, xpnn Train East arrives C,50 A. >L, leaves 7.10 A. 11. “ “ West - 8,25 “ ' « g. 55 " ( J «• McCormick, John r„'V , , „ d > ! ' c l' , °p Glamling. Si r - & W'r®- H - McCormick. &15 (««)icff_j o l,n McClelland. I^Qw r w&lA?? e - T’Js* ton ' C ' B - «nk,C. C. Vtai C - McOrrwlck. s££“^-^ol t n Mcaellandi. D-Thomaa, Thog. McMlnn. McClelland. ~ Price, David Dehl. - \ Ward—Peter Reed. \ “ « . West, “ Jacob Good. . “ Alexwder BlMng. ;* ' yrjf A. Bockj Alex. Montgomery. “ Som, u ■ H. fcbbettti M. Cfeubnagh. Pmb Ttin. Yumtlaii ««• ' A LARGE AND of Grocer,lmYcJortbden re- KOreof :•• . J.R HILBSUX. RECEIVED >A CW ' ) T ' -PPSht of (JREEEZRfi, which will bei «old -• A^TTfflß.Tprn^gfat. OTI- x- ’" ■”' **p : -y*r !a&-*~Ji Mx24.^ff-y CHURCHES. MINISTERS, &C ALTOONA MAIL SCHEDULE SI AILS CLOSE. 8 00 A.M II 09 A. St. and 6 00 P. SI. 60Q “ JOHN SHOEMAKER, P. M, TIIOS. A. SCOTT, Sup’t MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS *Vw%-v%%S VV .. Sigfftiiaihf an Oil Fainting hy J. Jttsrri Williams, vhich hung tn tng chamber «t the House o/a friend. Weary week* Iv« sean yoa sitting, jT Still with tireless patience knitting, Beantlfel and patient one, And It nerer will be done. ' Yet yon do not pot it by, Model gweet Of industry. ( Ope your lips, then teU to me, What yopr gentle thoughts may be. Arc your mnaings always £iirl Build you castles in the air, \ Brightened with such images. As my son! in slumber sees? Not w word—Oh I can it bo That such visions haunt not thee? Spirit sweet in maiden guise, Without hopes or memories, Tell me then from, whence yon come, Whisper low your lovely name. Mary is’t that floats along. On a tide of deathless song ? Or sweet Imogen or flora, ■Kosamond or Theodora? Lotke of sunny, aoft gold brown. Snow eyelids drooping down, , Of the orbs to make eclipse. Tender cheeks and rose bud Ups, , | Where the rougish kisses hide, Vj - Ivory nock and brow of pride, Blend their charms to make of thee, Pit shrine for Idolatry. O exquisitely Cur thou art. And though silent to my heart. Thou a lesson sweet hast brought; And though thee my soul has caught. Higher hopes and holiest gleams Of the heaven ibim fire that streams Prom spirit beauty such as thine. To make employment half divine, And brighter o’er life's current dull, Bless, O bless the beautiful. Ricmcdxs, Isdianx.' 6 SO A.M 8 35 A. M, 11 30 A- SI. 0 40 P. SI Mr Dear Friends The 'debt that sits heaviest upon the of a provided he is one, is fthe debt due the printer. It presses harder on one’s bosom than the night mare galls the soul, frets and chafes every enobling sen timent, squeezes all the Juice of fraternal sympathy from the heart, and leaves it dryer than the surface of a roasted potato. A man who wrongs the printer out of a single red cent can never expect to en joy the comforts of this world, and may well have doubts of finding happiness in any other. “ 1,20 A. 51, “ 11,60 “ “ 7,00 P. M Oh, you ungrateful sinners! >' If you have hearts moistened with the dew of mercy, instead of gizzards filled with gravel, take heed what I say unto you. If there be one of you in this congregation who has not settled his account with the printer, go and adjust it immediately, and be able to hold up your head in Society like a giraffe; be respected by th« wise and the good; free from the torture of a guilty conscience, the mortification of re peated duns, and escape from falling into tha clutches of lawyers, which is one and the kame thing. If you are honest ‘and honorable men,-you will go forth and l pay the printer. You will not wait for to-morrow —it is but a visionary receptacle for unredeemed promises—ru addlsd egg in the great nest of = the future, and the debtor’s hope mid the creditor’s curse. If you arc dis honest low mindea sons of Satan, I .do not suppose you will pay the printer, as you have no reputation to loose, no character to sustain, no morals to cultivate. But let me tell you, my friends, that if you do it, your paih to .the tomb will he strewed with thorns-; you will have to gather ypur food from brambles, your children will die of dysenjtery, yourselves will never enjoy the blessings of health. .' T once cßllcd upon a sick person whpm the doctor had given' up as a gone case. I asked him if he made his peace with his Maker.’ He said he thonght he bad squared • I then inquired if hb had forgiven Ais .epLeinies ? Hp replied yes. I then asked him if he had paid the prin ter- He hesitated a moment, and then said he thought he owed him about two dollars and fifty cents, which he desired would .he'pMd pbfore he gave good-bye 'to the world. jHia desire .was Immediately gratified, and from that moment ho be .came £(e is now living, in the enldyment of good health'and prosper ity,' at peach with his conscience, 1 las (xdd ? and the w0r1d*....., _J'.. •'' vJ«t hiin he. jah example for yon, my fiends. Patronize the printer, take his paper and pay for it in advance, and your daya win Be long upon the earth ; and oyerfieiriog with the nonOy of happiness. ; J|®r. i Oiiher toafipiohs %tter themand aeemiiigly to contcntl»cl #ripal Huftrg. TO A GffiL KISITTIIIG. jr Kiss toiass a. vie*nor. Always knitting, lady bright, J*om the morning tfll the night, Taking stitches one by one. Will that stocking ne'er be done? Short Patent Sermon. Text—Pay the Printer. ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 1859. Love lu a Tunnel. Many amusing anecdotes of ventrilo qtasts have been published, and many more told, that have not been published: But we think the are few ventriloquil Incidents that will , compare With one we Witnessed recently on the oars of the Virginia Cen tral Hailraid. We have read anecdotes of ftiohols, Kenworthy, Love, Sutton, Har rington and Blitz, but think the following actual occurrence rwill bear favorable men tion, side by side with either. The cam left Charlottevile, Va., for Staunton, at 12 m., and entered the tun nel, Which sis very long and very dark, about half past I p. m. We had hardly been shut out from daylight, when a noise was heard |n the reaJf end of the last car. The and several passengers, who were standing on the platform, entered the I car with aview to discover the cause of the disturbance. But owing to the extreme '.darkness, nothingicould be seen. While patiently waiting to hear the slightest movement, which ; might explain the ex-> citement, a! boisterous noise, resembling the sound produced by fervent kissing and.at the,, same moment a female voice was heard Exclaiming; f “ Get out you brute ! Let me alone ! 111 call the conductor! Keep your hands off sir I This is shameful!" li Where- is he !” ; cried the conductor in an angry tone, approaching the direc tion whence the sounds proceeded. “ Here !f says the lady, “this end of the car, arrest him! he insulted me shame fully—here he is again I Will you let me alone ? I tllink it a burning shame that a respectable lady should be treated in this manner V* - “ Get in the ladies’ car, then !” shouted a gruff voice.' “ You have no business here !’’ “She has a right here!” replied the conductor, seizing :the individual he sup posed guilty of a misdemeanor. “ You needn’t grabb me,” said a husky voiced old man ; “ I didn’t touch her; I haven't seen a woman inr the car!” The conductor : scented confused, and retraced his stops to the forward end of the car. Again the voice was heard, ap parently in the roar. “ Here he is again, conductor! Go away ! quit I let me aloue ! this is shame ful ! Keep your hands to yourself, sir ! I’ll leave the car! You follow if you dare?” ' This language was followed by an ex plosion resembling' the concussion of two lips. All Was confusion. The sympathi zing passengers were ail standing up, highly excited ; but owing to the darkness and the uncertainty that existed from whence the;sounds proceeded, nothing was done. A noise like the rustling of silk was heard , the rear door of the car opened and then closed with a banging sound, making the extraordinary stillness which followed fearful to contemplate, which fearfulness increased to horror, when the conductor Announced that the lady' must have stepped off the platform, as there was no car attached. The cars were stopped by tie signal rope, and 3 lantern procured, when the passengers headed by the conductor, gro ped slowly and silently back through the tunnel, expectih£ momentarily to discover the mutilated remains of the unfortunate female. But ajfter searching back to the mouth of the tunnel, nothing'was found, and they sadly retraced their steps. Upon arriving at the train, a passenger suggested that the,cause of the excitement be arrested;’ and in the cars went the party searching qvery seat until they came to a person, leaping forward 011 the back of a seat in front op him, apparently asleep,— Xhp conductor rotighly shook the sleeper, when he raised his head, when lo! and behold, ii was Wyman, the ventriloquist. liie party very reluctantly swallowed the unmitigated “sell.” The cars started and sped on to their place of destination, having been detained one hour over time. will not quarrel with you about my opinion, only see that your heart be right toward God, that you know aid love tlie Lord Jesus Christ, that you love your neighbor, and walk as your master walked, and i desire no mpre. lam siek of opin ions ; I am weary to hear them ; my soul loathes this frothy ’ food. Give me solid and substantial religion; give me a bum ble gentle lover of God and man ; a man full of merqy and good faith; without par tiality, and without hypocracy; a man laying himself out jin the work of faith, the patience of hope, the labor of love. — Let ray soul be ivith these Christians; wheresoever they [are, and whatsoever opinion they are df-—JbA» Wesley. , Aw Irish Loth Qch Paddj! swate Paddy! if I-Was yef daddy, I’d kill y6u 'with kisses* ehtirely.; if I .was your brother, and likewitfe your mother, I’d geo that you went to ; hied airly. To taste .of yOur breath I woßld starve me to dgath, and lay of my hoops altogether ; to just : haye a taste of ydari arin cmine waist.and lajif at the ipanegt of weather Bear Pad- mine,y me John sweat v^ehtine— [inimbkendent in EVERYTHING.] I-.- r Col* Smttb lit the Jonei Family. “ Well, after dark T put up with a first rate, goddnatured fellow that I met at the billiard, table. I went in and was intro ducedto his wife, a fine, fat woman, look ing as though she lived on laffin', her face was so full of fan. After a while, after we’d talked about my girl, and about the garden, and about the weather, in come three or four children, laffin’ and skipping as merry as crickets. There , was no can dle lit, but I could see that they were fine looking fellqws, and I started for my sad dle-bags in which I bad put a lot of sugar candy as I went along. “ Oome here,” said I, “ you little rogue; come here and tell me what your name is.’, The oldest came to me and says; “My name is Peter, Jones.” “ And what’s your name, sir?” “ Bob Jones.” ■ The next said his name was Bill Jones, and the fourth said his name was Tommy Jones. I gave ’em sugar candy, and old hire. Jones was so tickled that she laugh ed all the time. Mr. Jones looked on, but didn’t say much. “ Why,” says I, “ Mrs. Jones, I would not takei a good deal for them four boys, if. I had ' ’em, they are so beautiful and sprightly.” “ Ko,” says she, biffin’, “ Dset a good deal on ’em, but we spoil ’em too much.” “Ko, no,” says .1, “ they’re well be haved children, and by gracious,” says I, protending to be startled by a striking re semblance between the boys and father, and I looked at Mr. Jones, “I never did see anything equal to it,” says I, “ your own-eyes, mouth, forehead, and perfect pictur’ of hair, sir,” tapping the eldest on the pate. _ I thought that Mrs. Jones would have died laffin’ at that; her arms fell down by her side, and she shook LhcVhole house. “Do you think so, Mr, Smith ?” said she, looking towards Mr. Jones, and I tho’t she’d go off in l a fit. “ Yes,” says I, “ I do really.” “Haw, haw, haw,” says Mr. Jones;- kind o’ lathin’, “you are too hard on me, now, with your jokes.” “ I ain’t a joken’ at all,” says I; “ they are handsome children, and do look won derfully like you.” Just then a-gal brought alight in, and I’ll be darned if the little brats didn’t turn out to be niggers, every one of’em, and their heads curly all over. 31r. and Mrs. Jones never had any children, and they petted them niggers as play things.\ I never felt so streaked as I did when I found out how things stood. - To Delay Blossoms. —Any fruit trees may bo made to bloom sufficiently late in the season to prevent the fruit from beinq injured by the frost, and consequently present a fine, heavy crop, by the following judicious treatment:—ln the middle of winter, when the ground is most severely frozen, put a large pile of wheat straw or oak leaves around the roots, letting it ex tend some distance in every direction, so as to cover the extended roots that ap proach the surface of the earth. Cover this pile with planks or boards, so that no rain can fall upon the pile. Let this cover remain until all danger from frost has pas sed. Then remove the cover and straw and look for a splendid crop to fullow soon. The rationale of this is : the frozen earth will not thaw until late in the spring, if the pile remain ; and while the eartb is frozen the trees cannot bloom ; but when the danger is past, remove the covering, and the tree will bloom speedily. Try it, famer.friends. —Hew Yorker. Men’s' Eyes will Wander. —Show but a strip of white stocking above your boot, or a bit of an embroidered skirt; or a Balmoral, and you may lead a New York er by the nose all over Manhattan, though airmail street stand waiting for Him.— I.have positively seen gentlemen stand at the ferry gate when their arms were half broken with bundles, eargerly bobbing their heads, this way and that to catch a sight of the gaiter boots as they alighted from the various omnibuses. And not all young men either, but gray-headed old codgers, who had grandpa written all over them. “Why should a woman care abont it if her ankeb be pretty ?” “ Care ?” It may be just possible that if an exhibition is fore-ordained and inevitable, she may prefer to choose her audience. Working up Sawdust.— The inge nuity of Parisian cabinet niakers in the Faubourg St, Antoine, has found a use for common;sawdust which raises the val ue of that commodity far above the worth of solid timber. By a new process, com bining the, hydraulic „press and the, appli cation of intense heat, these wooden parti cles; are made to re-form themselves into a solid mass, capable of being moulded into any shape, and presenting a brilliant surface, a durability and beauty of appear ance not found in ebony, rosewood, or mahogany. lib h> said -that a roasted onion hound hulim,wiU&opibe Sian’s Superiority. There is an intolerant spirit in the breast of man, whi ch ought to be -rebuked. Re is continually attacking, and,—j almost would say-—attempting td degrade Her whom he pretends to elevate. * She is made the subject of ridicule - and jest in every place. Pick up the public Journals, and i their columns are filled with burlesque accounts of some accidents befalling some unfortunate lady in hoops.'■ Editors and writers hard been doating over this sub ject for the last (year or Suppose ladies do wear hoops ifit .be their good pleasure, in what way does it concern man ? It most tnfly bo a morbid taste that can enjoy such silly nonsense, and yet we are told that man is strong-minded. ' If it Is not hoops it is gossip, and if not gossip it is woman’s rights dr something else—and continually he amuses- himself, quite for getting his own faults. “ Mao, proud man, dressed in a little brief au thority, Plays such fantastic tricks before High Heaven, as make the angels veep," Did not the dignity of our sex demand a rebuke, I should lay down my pen and keep silent; but when the manifest and gross injustice of the haughty Lord of Creation becomes so apparent, I think I should be untrue to my sex klid I not re sent his insolence. - Has man any superiority to boast of ? If so, what is it? is it when he struts along the street with a horse blanket thrown over his shoulders, thinking that he looks very effeminate ? Or is'it when he is indulging in the use of’*tobacco, making himself an object of disgust to all decent persons? He is unfit for the "parlor, and even profanes the house of God with this fihhy habit. Perhaps it is when drinking spiritoud liquors, and reel ing to and fro, or lying in the gutter in a state of beastly intoxication. Perhaps it is in the tyranny which he displays to wards our sex, forcing us to labor for half the rcnumevatioQ that he would give to his own. If these are not his excellencies, then where is his boasted supremacy ? Echo answers where? Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. .1 am not in favor ot woman’s rights as advocated by fanatics, but as good sense and modes ty demand. A Lady of Dignity. A New Invention.— -Mr. Norman Wlard, of Wisconsin, proposes to construct a watertight iron boat for the conveyance of passengers and freight on the ice,‘with greater safety, economy and speed than can be done by any other known means of transit. These boats will entirely supersede the necessity of railroads in winter, where built parallel to rivers in cold climates. — The track costs nothing, and is kept in repair without expense; a depth of snow which would stop a train of cars would make no visible impression on the speed or progress of this ice-boat. ; If the icc should fail, the boat would rest upon the water, and by the power of the engines could be launched upon, the iee with greater ease than a locomotive could be replaced upon tbe track when off. The boat which I first propose; to build, will be twelve feet in width by seventy feet in length,,and when resting upon tbe water would displace' about one foot in depth. It will be propelled by a pair of locomoljive engines, acting on a single driving-wheel, to which adhesion is given -by various devices. He now wishes to obtain sufficient cap ital to enable him to construct one of these boats, for immediate use on the Up per Mississippi. A Fatalist. —A western paper pub lishes the following: “ I knew an old man who believed that ‘ what was to be would be." He lived in a region infested by very Ravage Indians. lie uhvays took his gun with him, hut this time he found that some of his family had taken it out. As ho would not go without it, his friends tantalized him, by saying that there was no danger of the Indians; that he would npfc die till his time came anyhow. ‘ Yes,’ says the. old fellow, ‘ but suppose, I was to meet an Indian, and his time was pome, it wouldn’t do not to have my grin.’” An ingenious downeaster has con structed a immature factory village, with engines, wheels, windmills,'callages, wa terfalls, persons waking, playing, swing ing, &c., and the whojfe ?ci: delicately ar ranged, and so nicely adjtoted, as to ha put iu complete operation hy a single mouse, which travels in a Small circular cage, as squirrels are often seen doing. B®,Fanny Fern says, "if one-half of the girls knew ; the previous life of the men they marry, the Ijsf of old maids would be wondemilly increased, w arid the Boston Post adds that •if the men could only look into- the- fixture life of the women they toafry the number of old maids would he, greatly advanced., ' " Sally/* witty young xw»* to a girl with red hair,. *? keep aw -from ms» or yduwiiJset'me afire- of • f > •A- -5 i-. J :-.k V* *.T\ ‘C f { EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. - Bm Ma>V*k «*4 tbe At the celebration of the Boras*Cea tennaiy In Glasgow, Mr. Srame! Lover, in proposing the toast of “ The Lassies,” saidtLadiee end gentlemen, it seemaa sort of practical punthatthe lassies should be proposed by a Lover, (laughter.) Rut 1 hope the ladies that are here, will be lieve that an Irish lover is never defiant in paying his homage to what has beeu called the most beautiful half of the hu. man rape, (cheers.) Ladies, in your smile exists the "“poet’s reward. There totvcr was a poet yet that —(hear, hear,) —and ’ preeminently l tke bard whose name we have meKthis ‘lh honor worshipped w the lasses, o (Loud applause.) But the greatest poet in the world, whatever might behia the power of making loye .was very graisl in J?obert Burns—cannot make foVehy himself. He must have a lady to help him—(laughter)—and I day that, from all my experience, very good helps _ they are. (Renewed peare has comprised uridex bne head, the lunatic, the lover, and the poet;andWfceli I first became a lover, 1 felteonvißesd that Shakspeare was right in saying thit a lover was a lunatic, (laughter.) Mr. Chairman, ladies, and genUemeu for I wish to call as many witness as I can tii this fact—l found madness so deHghi ful that I think I never have beennght in my senses since (great laughter j) bat if ever I have had a lucid interval, ithas only been to sigh fur bedlam again, and call upon Cupid for my keeper. I6f* Some one takes off the peculiar ad jective system now in use, and deservedly, too: “At the break&st table,” says he, “ coffee, excruciatingly hot, is poured out of a lovely pot, and accompanied by bread and butter of infinite excellence. In oar walks—when the vile weather does hot prevent our walking—we have the sweet est vessels that ever sailed the waters, the most exquisite cows that ev?r ato grass; and returning agonized with, cold, wejaot seldom find a heavenly fire* by which we sit down enraptured, comfortably bewail ing the cruel shortness of thqdaysj and the eternal length of the larly when we have an immeasurable quantity of nuts, to crack, of which the la dies declare themselvesto be devotedly fond. The indulgence in such expletives is a sure sign of an imperfect education. Bbatii.—Wo thought hothinig neir could be said about death, but Taylor, of the Chicago Journal, has the following ideas‘ ; ‘ r ’ / '■ ' ■ f‘ is a dignity abput that going away alone, we call dying * that wrapping the mantle of mortality about ns; that put ting aside with a pale hand, the aznze cur tains tbiat are drawn around this cradle of a world; that-venturing away frpm home the first time in our lives, for we are not dead; there is nothing dead to apeak of, and seeing foreign countries hot hud down on any maps we knowhbput. Theft must be lovely lands, starward, fprnpne ever re turn that go hither, and we very much duubt if any Koaldif Uisy could.” ; B®. A servant girl,in thetoWn ofA ——in England, whose beauty formed matter of general admiration and discus sion, in passing a group of officers in the street, heard one of them exclaim to his fellows, “By heaven she’s painted I” Turning round, she very quietly replied, “ Yes, sir , and by Heaven only 1* - . iho officer acknowledged the force,pf die re buke, and apologized, ; : , BSL. Man is liter a snotv-balT. - I Leave him lying in idleness against ;tbe sunny fence of prosperity, and all tho good'tfcuTs in him melts like butter y hut kink hfp» around, and. ho gathers sirppgtn w{ih every revolution until Tie into ah avalanche. To succeed yonmustkbep moving* The XoyE. or Gni«Gls':~iL oboq broken Into, sbob" goes, andit irtee same with arcsolution. A resolution, pnbroken, is as hard aa.gold; once change ?f> apditTia thrown, as it were, into so inapy coppers, andrapidly melts away. B&»Hopeg and cares, anxieties, and fears, divideour life. "Would you be free from these anxieties ? think every day will be your your last, and then suocoecf ing hours will be the more welcome/be cause unexpected. ' Hever. seek to be entrusted youi> friend’s secrets, for/ hd mltter how ‘faithful you may keep it, yon will be lia ble in a thousand contingencies to the ana* picion of having betrayed it. Bg&.One man asked another why Ids beard war brown and his hair white 7 “ Because/' he said, i{ one is twenty years younger than the other.” the welt-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace, a precious tbleg, hallowed: dream, ■ .. IrV NO. 7.