w***j
afthiSwfe
ima of eechdE2®eei
' ir C/jrwnJliiiftiJJ*
aaip. to open f SS?»fc
gral’t, to all »£* ““fr
r COtNlfuCrt, fiS.*fpi>
! frtl
IH«WIy to tW*~S
sasss^s
'j^sssafe
.liseascs of too jL"*
which wnn^s?}
<'ca- S c, oa.th ott^>
"of.ler of Ui<7*SW
EAIITTtHa.-ggl
[the, j.] *
.ju
i from I’hUn. _, •
elJrateU Cook.
Poking StoronH
s*inisitu styje
’'*“ 'i-sj’fet*. 4,
1 tht> flues arc minJz
1 .ikr_jicrfoctJv,*n4SL
'f. this-Stove' m SS
auherjaj favorite,
r.T,, - " •"
'■{ (rood
iioi« -ami ia a thonZ
■cndily bcrfca^iiqQ
--stow* cohetiiih _
•'lantT/uifit, AlUxta,
i’HE LIES t)F
if the truth. ot lhlißy
l fully iiimfmiic* ttly
, that lie- h4i
«TAnusrar®j» •
Michael GalUgW ipj
jMciil’h ODic*, nhtnwl
l. 110-hasjmt nabj!
? & TESTINGS,
■ which ho niliauhL]
r- which can not bilk I
ATESTSn-LKsip
FASHIONS.
Trill i>o miust ts WyjJl
i ilcterralntdtiiatnA.
.“.'Dilcr mtufiftiJJ
r , ■•- •.
JOHN TAEBOT. ,
’ANIC OIL.
r. IT. inf TALL,|fc;
*t Pari", ianow«t
ire of »oroand juik.
> hrMUrtortiih,
-prams, hoadock,
'her' (Uioue tSui
Jilv orer thlidjM
VICTORY. Tttm
rolieTC* thi IBrani
‘>-t say toth*
i bringing to
i rent, cal off to
’AD. Propriotpr. ..
Tjcwtiunrn, ft,'
h,—Ucnty Uhf,B.W
n<l all deaden Uawl
> ITS P
blifhod, Ol*tJ^Jk|n
TONAL TlQUffltni
U.v alarming rkkrthMd
i .iltudo ofjro«tb.M
DlClNthlsin IUfIM
re i Titirulynevui#!
<1 by tho Aukor.m
y rw U co&VMtkM]
st possiVlo etui,
is nf theday.” 'J I
|“lit fr»e iu. t «kdrf»|
ro poktogo rtarap* toM
New York pity. j
OIINTIV-Bfl
New Mw***
Firroyn, evmtsllQqal
UiO DCtlAllOtlUlM
r.muip,sciiooirrt«**|
■tcls, stores, IfcmSw
«1 Tillages, a W*J
>■, jiving theMia*f*l
* engraved on.tlwßpj
al.lt seal* so si ttWJi
irti will 1)0 colon!"I
:vrcd to rah»crite<»l
SAMUEL OKV
ISAAC O.TBBO;
PKACTiCMI
■ mnonnco*
I".iblie‘ gee*
fug Imsinvas#"
a ■. i .nstantly,.
-.U. DRUGS,-
VARNISH- (
i i a Uwniro
i.'. quality, h* iKf**
;s'.trouaigt'.vr ' J
\l uu rc«*?ii*Ut
lly MtendWto ■
■ compound****
!■: gazette-
I:- .Mill
; ir-ulatud thl
r.r-at Trials,
u ilir Koine, togW£*
I uol tobofebiW
*1 f.,r rilWWj
1. aid write tMfjS
nto they resUs
: i atsf.lt, & CO
r rk PolfeeGst**
Acta JWW
ack&O
(I AltOOtt*
NciP Aii crru
. Collection*
:i demand,
- fair raw- l l^
■
K, Hoi*u>*
t, PA.,
b' ptt^wiHa&JSil
li.'rcotf,
jOMi .
..reofj.
VE FOR
: CasUle So»J>>
9 nd for^pi;gS*
r !ir andlW
•'■ ‘ESSS
..\D BIG®”
dgses>„^
jsTcOsPj
24. >SS
vMcCBUM & pBRN ’
VOL. 3.
tribune,
MeCUDM * BERN. PublUhcr* and Proprietor
of t&
ftli lor.
“ 1 inunrtion 3: do. S do.
» 25 { $
fanr Unci or le««, 50 70 1 00
w ».iiu»r*,( * U ° C *’) ) 100 t» I oS
7«o ” (f* „ \ 150 200 -60
- I? u»i» fo>" ***& loaertiull
gU line* or leM,
On* square,
Two “
b 00
Three “ 6 00
lonr “ jo 00
Half a colomn, ji qq
Cards, not exceeding 8 ft
character or iad.vidual In
lerMt will be t h the insertions
dciirsd-wUl'oc continued till forbid and charged according
\o tlw ab.i'" •‘J™’ 1 ’ ls pfr line.for every insertion.
Obituary notices eicoodmg tcu lines, fifty cents a square.
tribune directory.
* v * V ‘ v *^' k *" '■*'
CHURCHES. MINISTERS, &C.
PjdhyUndn.* Rev. A 11. Cbcitt. CT
*ibLh eAirningat lu‘, o'clock, ami in the evening at
- • Vvlock Sahbalh School at 9 o flock, A. M., in tho Lcc
ii£eV-m’ Prayer Meet in* ovary Wednesday evening m
%Xj LTtyiscW'!. r.ev. S A. Wxlsosi, Pastor.-Preacb-
ImTeicrj Sabbathmorniu g at 11 o ch*k and in the even
ly*' School 1-1 the Lecture Room at 2 o clock. P;
w 5 ‘ r. O D-i*l Pnver Meetinx in same room every \>edne»-
"»> evening. vJcug Men's Prayer Meeting every inday
*' iuMcrao. Ucv, Jacob ST£CS,*>aetor.-Preach-
In • over-, Sabbath moraing at IOU, o clock, and at oN o cluck
S the eKinag. Sabbath Sdneal in the Lecture Room, at
JU o'clock. I*. M. Prayer Meeting in fame room .every.
dedneedav evening.- „ „ , .
r.jf.,l ihdhr-u. r.ev. D. Spice. Pastor.—Preaching ev
arv Sabbath morning at ..'dock and iu the e'.euiug at
7'd o'clock. sabbath Sdn-M in the Lecture Loom at J
sTOck, A. M. Prater Meeting every W 'dneaday evening
I&same room. _ .
/VcVtlual Kpiteop*. Ucv. U. W. Qutir, Pastor.—D,vme
fet vice 2d and Ith Sunday aof ' ni-.nth at 10y4 trclock
A M., and l>4 I’. M. sn-i-lay .'dead at 1* a deck A. Si.
Githoh:, Kev. J>u.n Twi>* t*. --PrracuiUtf at 1
o'clock in the morning, and at aJjM tin- altenioon.
JUptUl, B. H. KtS!l, Pialor I're.icnlng every Sab..3th
Boruiag at lu I *, oVe.ck, and also iu the ev< ning. sabbat.i
kchoel at U o'clock, A- M. Prayer Metling every Vd-dn-H
-<l»t evening. _ , .
Afriran MdKudut. Rev. S.vThCR Car. Pastor—Preaching
every Sabbath i..yruiug at U o'clock and in theevening, in
the dd Union School lio’aee.
ALTOONA MAIL SCHEDULE
MAILS CLOAK,
B»»t»rn W» y at
Western , **
llollidayihurg,
Eutorn Through Jlnil
MAILS ARKIVB.
Extern Through Mali,
WmWto Way, II 30 A SI.
KaMrrn " 0 to I'. M
Ilul|i'laj«burc 11 30 A. M. anil 6 3u “
OIH«« for the transaction of biuiiu-,, frnm 7 A. II
lo 9 C. M.. during tao w«»k, and fioai S to 9 oVlutk, A. M
oaSaDdjj-
Juns 4, 'i7-tf] JOUX BIIOKMAKKR, P. U.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE
-Kxsr«M Train Katl arrive* C,60 A. M.,
• “ Went “ 8.36 “
Put * East “ 6,10 P, M.
“ W-nt “ 1,25 A. H,
Mill " Fm t « 11.30 “
“ “ Woct “ e.35P.M,
Tu« lIOLLIDAY3BUUG BRANCHconnects with Expreva
But and MVst. an-1 with Mail Train Eaal and West. 1
The BI.AIRSYILI.K BRANCH connect* with Juluiatnwu
Htj Train Eaat and West, Exprcsi Train West ami Mall
Train East.
Sovetahvr 23, ItiS.
MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS
V-iunPun /.orfye. A. Y. M.. No. 2SI, meet* on second Tuco
darajf ea;h month, in the third story of the Masonic Tem
ple, at Ty 2 o'clock. P. M.
Jfmniam iVampmcnt, A. Y. M.. No JO, meets on the
fonrlh Tuesday of each month, in the third etury of the Ma
wnic Temple, at o’clock. P. >l. \
Adiwao iorfje. l. o, of o. No. 473, meet* every Friday
tftaisg. in the ip.-jnd story of the Masonic Temple, at 7*4
« clock, P.M.
Veranda Lvig*. J. 0. of 0. F., No. 532, meets every Friday
evening,in the third etory of Patton's Building, on Virginia
• lrMt,»t7; 3 o clo,k. P. St.
mnncbagr, rail, No. 35, I. 0. R. M„ bold stated Conn
ate every Tu.-.sUy evening in the I. 0. .0. F. Hall, In the
euionlc Temple. Council Fire kindled nt -7 th run 30th
Ireath, W. A. ADA MS.'C of B. [June 25, ’57-ly
Junior Stmt of America, Camp No. 31. meet* every M>m-
in the third story of Patton’s Hall, at 7)^o'clock
B«.\iny'on (hmp. .Vo. 51, J. .5; of A., meets cverv
lessday evening, in the 2d story of Patton’s Hall.
A.Lxma Dattu> n , .Vo. 311, .S’, of T„ meets every Satnr
I «J evening, in the 2d story of Patton's Hall. B. F. Rose
" f ' D.Uulhraith, R. 8. ‘ I
A/'.,.n i Mechanics' Library and Reading Room Attocia
I 'meetsi statedly on the let Saturday evening,in Jnnua
i '.I, J'l,,’, ; an, l October. Board of Directors meet on
, * i*n . , , a - < ‘ re ’ l ' r '3 iu each month. Room open from
10 0 clock every evening, (Sunday excepted.)
COUNTY OFFICERS.
i i'^ C ! } ht Charts.—President, Hon. George Taylor.—
Associates, J. Penn Jones,.David Caldwell. ‘ 3
“rolhonotary —Joseph Baldridge,
filler amt Recorder—Hugh A. Caldwell.
tf/imjf—James Puuk.
District Attorney— Ben). 1,, llewit
JrEm/M m ?o S nr {ri ~ DariJ M ' C « n,sr - ' V *'
Vlirlrto Commiinorifry—Hugh A. Caldwell
Mercantile Appraiser— Joseph 0. Adlum.
thun/y Surveyor —James L. Gwinn
- rcararcr—John Ungafelt.
r£'7f’r S 'n°Z oV '' A- °' M « c «t»«T. **. R. Hewitt,
j g Directors George Weaver, Samuel Shiver,
Orrono- William Fox.
of Common Schools— John Dean.
ALTOONA BOROUGH OFFICERS.
C-Mu:; J, “ b aoodi J - M - cu,rr? '
Lowthrr. R. H. McCormick, .ToUn
' XolMl ' Ql^ndlnß.
CU^, nf Co ’ m f-R- H; McCormick.
j£ r ’-* ‘f“ na '-Jubn McClelland.
I &Cl% n TTC V' IrCr^ I'^n 1 '^ n Bowther.
h r w s' r Y J‘ atkm - C. B. 81nk,C. C.
Trmtvnr of' AT 8 ? ph J lo,nt ’' Wm - C - «cComick.
McCon“it
k“ “ VnV.l J JncpbGOod.
iiJfCrie.-j-.Eut tVar.l V 1 ■\ Icx! « u ler Uillng.
" Vwt .. Fn‘ i? Alex. Montgomery.
I u North « ~. l l J?°’ > °rtJ, M. Clauhuagb.
r i i H u >«• Valentine, Wm; Keed.
rf •2 I «,T^7 a IjARGE amount
•‘ UOCSK.” v tr c "ivc<l
•- 1 '! M th- ' ~, . Uullldayaljurg, which will bo
ThO
H^ RY LRff K’S STORE IS IN
CITIIONS
arranU store and for mlo by .
M ‘«U2J,-6R-Itl ioiv . & BHUGABJ),
191 North Sdatrcet, Philadelphia.
P®' SF TE T,EA I> AND ZEto
PATENT
- Fv-tr. Mwt&jpfc
1 year.
$ a oo
7 00
10 00
12 00
11 00
20 00
40 00
1 76'
a months. 0 montlis.
$1 60 I 3 00
2 50 4 00
4 00 0 00
8 00
10 00
11 00
26 00
10 00
« SO A W
8 00 A.M
11 00 A. M and f, 00 I’. SI
8 00 ••
8 31 A M
lravu« 7,10 A. M.
“ 8,15 “
“ 10,10 T. M
“ 1,30 A. M
“ 11,10 “
“ 7.00 P. M.
THO 3. A. 6COTT, Supt
Select Jttflrg.
X»AI> IS GROWING OLD, JOBS!
BT J. Q. A. WOOD.
Ah, Dad is growing old Jopn,
His eyes are growing dim.
And years are on his shoulders laid,
A heavy, weight for him;
But you and I. ore young and hale,
And each a sthlwart man,
And we must moke his load*as light
And easy as we can.
He used to take the brant, John,
At cradle and the plough,
And earned our porridge by the aweat
That trickled from his brow :
Yet never heard we him complain,
Whate'er his toil might be.
Nor.wanted e’er a welcome seat
Upon his solid knee.
And when our boy-strength came, John,
And sturdy grew each limb,
lie brought us to the field,
To share the toil with him ;
But he went foremost in the swath,
Tossing aside the grain.
Just like the plow that heaves the soil.
Or ships that shear the main.
Now we must lead the van, John,
Thro’ weather foul and fair.
And let the old man read and doze,
And tilt his easy chair ;
And he'll not mind it, John, you know,
At eve to tell us o’er
Those brave old days of British times,
Of Grandad and the Wur.
I beard you speak of Ma’am, John,
'Tis gospel what you say.
That baring for the like of us
lias turned her head so grays’
Yet, John, I do remember well
When neighbors called her vain.
And wheu her hair was long, and like
A gleaming sheaf of grain.
Tier lips were cherry red, John,
Her cheeks were round and fair,
And like a ripened peach it swelled
Against her wavy hair ;
Her step fell lightly as the leaf
From off the summer tree.
And all day busy at the wheel
She sang to you and me.
She had n buxom nrm, John,
That wielded well the rod
Whene'er, with wilful step, our feet
The path forbidden trod ;
But to the heaven of our eye
We never looked in vain,
And evermore our yielding cry
Brought down her tears like rain.
But that is long ago, John,
And we are what we^arc,
Ana Utile heed we, day by day,
Her fading ebcek and hair ;
Ah, when beneath her faithful breast
The tides no longer stir,
’TIs then, John, that we most shall feel
We had no friend like her.
Eure there ctin bo no harm, John,
Thus speaking softly o’er
The blessed names of those, ere long.
Shall welcome us no more.
Nay !—hide it not—for why should'st thou
An honest tear disown !
Tby heart one day will lighter be,
’ Remembering it has flown.
For Dad is growing old, John,
His' eyes are getting dim,
And Ma'am is trending softly down
The dim descent with him ;
But you and 1 are young and bale,
And each a stalwart man,
And we must make their path as smooth
And level as we can.
Select Hftsdlang.
THE URL*KAIto'S CERE.
The homeopathists say 1 like'cures like.’
It may be so occasionally. At any rate,
doctors cure drunkenness in the military
hospitals of Prussia by means of brandy.
Earl Flader was a Rheinland subject of
his majesty of Prussia; ajid Earl, like
many others I could mention in Rhein
land, as well 1 as "out of it, got drunk very
often. lie drank-of the best ' when he
could pet it, and whenever be couldn’t he
drank whatever he could get. Earl Fla*W
wasn't very particular about his drinking,
if only there was alcohol in what he drank,
and he-cduld get drpiik upon it. Water
was his aversion, except when used in his
watering pot; for Earl was a market
gardener,., . •
‘I don’t know what water ia good for/
Earl would often exclaim, ‘ except tof my
cabbages/ He was.destined to know bet
ter one-day. Earl was an industrious man
when he‘Wasn't drunk, which was far of
tenerthan he was industrious j and so, you
sec, there couldn’t bo much said .in favor
.of bis industry, npon thp, .whole. Earl
was naturally a good-hearted fellow, Even
drohkennees bap not been pblo to make
him quite dead to shame. Ho resolved
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 1858.
onco to do without strong drinks. He
kept his resolve; but he was ill. He re
solved a second tinie; and again kept it;
but he hadn’t any money. So you see the
way Earl Flader kept his two resolves
wasn’t very meritorious on the whole.
/ Suppose you could have whatever you
might wish for, what would you wish for?’
said Franz Muller to Earl one day.
* llhein-wein and schnaps.’
‘And if you could get as much brandy
schnaps as you liked, would you ever get
tired of it?’
‘ I think not,’ said Earl.
Earl Fladcr, to whom the words Bhein
wein and brandy schpaps were suggestive
began to feel as if he wanted some. So
fumbling in bis pockets, one after tbe oth
er, and being a liftle rich that day, he
threw out a thaler, and patting his com
panion on the shoulder, said, f come my
fine, fellow, let's have a glass.’
But Franz made wry faces, and shook
his head.
‘ Zounds b what is this, Franz?’ said
Earl i ‘ you would once drink like the best
of us.’
‘That’s when I bought it myself/ said
he ; ‘ and could only get it by paying.’
‘ Xhu’re a funny fellow/ said Earl; but
I like to-be obliging. Hen. pay for me, if
you like; but schuaps I must and will
have. I can't do with out it.’
Franz had't any money, which ended
the matter; but if his pockets had been
full of money the result would have been
the same.
‘Stop, my friend/ said Earl, ‘until
next month when vour time of soldiering
v O
comes, then you’ll have as much as you
like to drink, for nothing—perhaps even
more.’
‘Long live the king, then !’ said Earl;
‘ I didn’t know he was so liberal.’
‘Then you don't know anything about
his majesty,’ answered Franz; ‘ but tattoo
beats, I must away. Adieu/
‘ Adieu, Franz.’
Now it was as Franz said ; the time had
almost come for Earl to serve as a soldier,
and what Franz had said about the King
of Russia’s liberality warmed Flarl’s heart
to such a degree that living on anticipa
tion, be did a thing he did not think he
could have done:—went home, and to
Lei, without schflaps, though he had a
thaler in his pocket.
A month soon passes over the heads of
all of us, and to Earl Flader it seemed to
pass more rapidly than it does to you and
me, because he got drunk almost daily,
whereas you and I doij’t get drunk at all,
which things all put together come to this
-—that every moment <>J drunkenness in a
moment stolen from the drunkard's life.
The day came, at length, when Karl must
doff his gardener's clothes, put on his sol
dier’s attire, learn goose step, handle —not
Brown Bess, nor the Minie —but the nee
dle gun ; for, of late years, the needle, has
other besides tailoring work to do in Prus
sia. Tailors’ needles make holes through
men's continuations, but the needles of
needle guns help to ma|e holes through
men —that is the differeuc^.
Earl was awkward at fitst—all recruits
are. He stooped, he stumbled, he didn’t
turn out his toes. But the drill sergeant
is everywhere a smart fellow; ho soon
licks awkward recruits \ in jto shape ; and
smarts among the smart is the drill-ser
geant of Prussia. Earl not only pleased
himself in the end, - but also pleased his
betters. ‘ I deserve something to drink ;
1 wonder if they will give 1 me some 1’ but
nothing of that sort Wm forthcoming.
‘I thought youiold me a tpan had nice
things given him to drjnk in this place V
said Earl to 'Franz one day.
‘ How can you expect them to give you
any until they know you are fond of
them?’
' By the great Fritz, I’ll show them I
am.; this very night I’ll show them !’ said
Earl drawing a thaler from his, pocket.—
He chucked the thaler up id the air and
caught it in the palm of his hand as it
came down again. ‘There my pretty lit
tle fellow,’ said he to the silver coin, ‘ look
me full in-thc face onco more, for by all
that’s good to drinjc in Rheinland, you
and I are soon to part company.’
It was rare for Earl-to make a resolve and
not hold to it in such manner os this.—
So he went away jtb the nearest bibbing
place, and bibbed and sipped, and bibbed
again, until something got into the place
where brains alone should be. Earl was a
soldier now, and knew what he might ex
pect if be got to the barracks too late. So
when tattoo heat, iie ran and fell, then got
up and ran again—all of which made him
still more drunk than'he was before. He
arrived at the barracks a little too late, and
was duly reported for the same. If he
had not been reported, the falling would
have a tale. He was all over mud,
and the King of Prussia doesn’t allow bis
soldiers to make ; themselves muddy for
nothing. ;
Earl went to-bed; and in the morning
when he awoke, 1 he began to reflect what
the consequences of his indiscretion might
be.
/Shall ! have to ride the sharp-booked
horse?' said he to Fran*.
‘By no mean?, jay friend; on the con
trary, hating shown what your likings arc,
[■INDEPENDENT in everything.)
you will have brandy schnaps to your
heart’s content, and all for nothing/
‘ You don't say so ?’
c I do though ’
Before we acquaint the reader with
what next took placefwe must describe to
him what sort of an animal is the sharp
backed horse. ; Be it known, then, that
the cat-’o-nine-tails is unknown in Prussia
—but there are punishments just as bad.
One consists in riding astride on a sharp,
ridge-like piece of timber, which causes
great agony. If you wish to gain a notion
of it, seat yourself astride upon a triangu
lar park paling, and stay there until your
lesson is complete.
Whilst Franz and Earl were in conver
sation. l)r. Krauss, the military surgeon
arrived, accompanied by .the corporal.
4 We are going to place you in the hos
pital,’ said Dr. Krauss; ‘ you case is des
perate/
, ‘ In the hospital/ thought Earl, ‘why I
was never better.’
Dr. Krauss, however, knew best about
that.
tor.
Earl meditated, and scratched his ear;
but the case was so mysterious that lie
made no reply
* Answer me, my man ; nobody means
to hurt you. You like brandy V
Earl pleaded guilty to the delicate im
putation.
‘ Come with tnc, then.’
So the doctor put Earl into a room of
the military hospital, all alone; and say
ing, ‘You will oe well attended to,' he
turned slowly away, locking the door be
hind him.
Earl wondered what they were going to
do with him, and what would come next.
He did not wonder long ; for the dour
opened, and in came ah orderly with break
fast rations. Mark you what they con
sisted of —a basin of stirabout, and a loaf
of bread! The warden having placed
these things on the table, asked Earl if his
appetite was good.
‘ Not particularly.’
‘But taste,’ said the warder.
Earl tasted the stirabout; it was strong
of brandy.
‘ Delicious !’ exclaimed he.
‘ And the bread’ —it was soaked in
brandy.
‘ Delightful !’ exclaimed Earl. He
thought he had never made so hearty a
breakfast in all his life.
‘ You like it,’ said the orderly.
‘ I should think so I’ answered Earl.
‘ If,’ said the o'rderly, ‘ you like to drink,
I will send you something.’
‘ What?’ demanded Earl.
Earl could hardly reconcile himself to
the belief that he had fallen so much in
luck’s way; ‘ 1 know why it is,’ said he
to himself; ‘ his Majesty the King, God
bless him, likes his champaigne, and likes
his schuaps, and he likes his men to do as
he docs. Let me have some brandy at
once,’ said Earl.
The orderly disappeared and presently
returned, bringing with him an enormous
bottle of brandy, and a large horn.
‘ If you get drunk, a glass might break,’
said he addressing Earl. ‘This horn can
not break. Drink and enjoy yourself.’
Deep were the potations Earl made that
day. Though quite alone, he could not
restrain his emotion ; he stood up, placed
himself in theatrical attitudes, and toasted
good King Frederick William so often and
‘ You like strong drink V said the doc-
so heartily, that before dinner time came
he was drunk and floored. On the floor
accordingly the orderly found him when
he made his next rounds. Earl ate no
dinner that day, nor supper either; but
when morning arrived, the effects of his
debauchery had worn off to such an extent
that he was ready for breakfast, composed
as on the day before, of stirabout and a
loaf of bread, each seasoned with brandy
Earl partook of this breakfast heartily ;
but he nevertheless left some untouched,
which was not the case the morning be
fore.
‘ I fancy it is almost too rich,’ thought
Earl.
Though the brandy bottle was replen
ished, and near him, Earl, for some reason
or other, partook of the contents so mod
erately, that neither did he get drunk, as
before, nor was his appetite spoiled for
dinner.
Up came the orderly with dinner in
due time. Dinner as follows:
Soap seasoned with brandy.
Cabbage
Potatoes-“ “ **
Boiled meat V “
Bread “
, ‘l’m much obliged,'said Earl ; jtp the
orderly, as he smelt the brandy fumes es
caping from bis eatables. ‘1 am much
obliged for the doctor’s kindness, jbut'this,
you sec, is rather too rich to gdonupon.
I’ll take my victuals to-day without the
brandy, and drink the water afterwards.’
‘ We don’t keep such victuals,' replied
the orderly. ‘The doctor knows what’s
best for you to cat, man—you’ll like it in
time.' '
So Earl ate bis victuals, and he thought
they were hot so bad aftey all.
‘ If you please/ said ’Earl, when he had
eaten oil he could. r X should like a little
water —just a little.'
‘We don't keep such' a thing/ said the
orderly. -
<No water?’
* None.’
* Then could I have some brandy-and
watcr?’ asked Earl.
‘ Yes, I’ll bring some mixed in the pro
portion' the doctor thinks right.’
‘Please, I would rather mix for myself.’
‘ You can’t do that; the doctor won’t
let you touch water.’ ; ,
‘Water isn’t such a bad thing in its
place after all, thought Earl; for by .this
time bis inner man waxed uncomfortably
hot, and bis blood rushed to and fro, Os if
it was forced by a hand pump.
Supper —Stirabout and brandy.
Breakfast—Brandy and stirabout.
Dinner—Soup with brandy ; cabbage
idem ; meat idem ; bread idem ; potatoes
idem; brandy, brandy! everything they
gave poor Earl to eat and drink stealucd
and smelt of brandy;
‘ For heaven's sake let me have a draught
of water,’said he, when dinner time on
the third day came; ‘just one draught of
water.’
‘ No. not a drop.’
‘ But I shall die—l am on fire—l burn!’
roared Earl*; ‘ give me water —water !’
‘No, drink your hrandy-and-water.’ \
‘ I can’t —I won’t!’
‘ Well, then, go without.’
Dr. Krauss came on the third day. He
felt Earl’s pulse, and looked at his tongue,
and asked him if he felt better,- .
‘ Better!’ exclaimed he, ‘I am dying by
inches ! Give me water ! one draught of
water ! Let me out—beat me—put me on
the sharp-backed horse —-shoot me !’ roared
he, ‘ but don’t murder me like this !’
‘ Why, don't you like brandy ?’ said the
doctor, with a grin so malicious that it
might have sat on the face of Mephisto
pholes, without disparagement to his fiend
ishness.
‘ Like it? I’ll never taste a drop again.’
‘ Yes, you will,’ said the doctor ; ‘you’ll
take it for exactly seven days more.’ He
did; and Earl could never look alcohol in
the face afterwards.
And this, reader, is not quite a fiction;
for in this way they cure drunkards in the
military hospital of Prussia.
A Valid Excuse.
The teachers in the Allegheny schools,
in order to prevent the boys from playing
truant, require them to state the reason of
their absence, immediately upon returning
to school. Some of the reasons, or “ ex
cuses” as they are called by the boys, are
extremely ludicrous, and give rise do lit
tle merriment. A case in point is thdTol
lowing:—
A lad aged about scyen years, having
been absent one afternoon, was called
upon next moruing, by his teacher, Miss
,to state the cause'of his non-atten
dance. Bub looked rather sheepishly,
hung his head, and made no reply for a
moment. This raised the suspicion of the
“school marm,” and she was determined
to bring him up to the scratch.
“Now Bub, just up like a little man,
and tell us what kept you away from
school.” Bub still looked downcast, and
stood mutely picking at his fingers ends.-
“ Cohie, out with it,” said the teacher,
“ the longer y6u hesitate the more likely
you will be to tell what is not true.”
Bub picked up a little courage,i and
said, “ Mother kept me at home.”
The teacher, having extorted a begin
ing, followed it up with —“Well, what
did she keep you ht home for ?”
“Togo an errand,” cautiously added
Bub—evidently fearful that his inquisi
tive teacher would extort something that
he did not wish to divulge.
“To go an errand I—indeed !—and
can’t you tell me where, and for what
purpose you were sent ?” The teacher
seemed to think that she would have Bub
cornered, and still pressed him to a con
clusion.
“ Where did you say you were sent,
son ?”
To Manchester,” pitiously answered
the boy, who looked the very personifica
tion of misery.
“ Well, what for—let us have it all,”
and theacher began to smile, and squint
about at the other little uchins, as tif to
warn them of the danger of playing tru
ant, and making up a falsehood to; save
their backs from the birch.
“To—to—fetch up something my sis
ter lent to a girl to wear to a party.” 1
“Now, Bub, if you just tell.us,what
that something was, you can then take
your seat—but mind to tell the truth.”
Bub’s tongue rolled from one side of
his mouth to the other, his under lip quiv
ered, ho opened bis eyes wide to keep, the
tears from jumping out; and very jpludt
antly muttered, “It was something 1 she
put on her back, to mahe her dress Mick
out »” . ' H
The teacher’s curiosity was satisfied $
she did not ask the name pf the artlcle
again, and she had, reason to belicv# ibot
every scholar, in the room considered that
she bad been “sold,” as they bont&ned
for a long time, to keepnp a“ tremendous
bustle I” ■«. ;;
Important
mas is timing. s A v
EDITORS AND PROPMEt®9.
Ttaoagbtl for TfelßlLer«r
Sound travels attheraioOf
per second in the air j .4,060 in water;
14,000 in cast iron; 17,000
000 in glass, and from 4,686 to it*
Wood. ; I', * " V-v^V
Mercury freezes of 38° Fahwuiwwjafia
becomes a solid mass, mal&hle 'wider the
hammer. . i*
The greatest height at wbich
clouds ever exist docs not exoeedr-tea
miles. 4; *' l - ; :
Air is about 816 times Hghtef tb«
common water. r .
The pressure of the atmosphere upon:
every square foot of the earth amounts to
6,1G0 !ha. An ordinary man> sup
posing his surface to be 14 squave’ s»t,
sustains the enormous pressure bf
pounds.
Heat ratifies air to such an extent :fh*t
it can be made to occupy' 5,500 timeatho
space it did before. . :
The violence of the expansion of #Stter
when freezing is sufficient to cleave a globe
of copper of such thickness as to requite *
force of 28,000 lbs. to produce a lice ef
fect.
During the Conversion of ioe into wa
ter, .140 degrees of heat are absorbed.
Water when converted into steam, in
creases in bnlk 18,000 times*
One hundred pounds of Dead Sea wa
ter contains 40 lbs. of salt.
The mean annual depth of rain that
fulls at the equator is 96 inches*
Assuming the temperature of the inte
rior of the earth to increase uniformly at
the rate of 1° for every 46 feet, at the
depth of 60 miles the degree of heat wo’d
be sufficient to fuse all known substances.
The explosive force of close confined
gun-powder is sis and a half tons to tbs
square inch.
The greatest artificial cold ever produc
ed is 91° Fahrenheit.
i
To Young Men.
Some fifty years since, a poor boyi borli
of poor parents, and fatherless, who Bad
no where to look for elevation or mainte
nance in life, but to his own dilligeni ex
ertions, chanced to'be in the Navy Yard,
at Brooklyn, and the thought struck him
that ho would like to enter tie Navy. Be
ing of an energetic temperament, with him
to think was to act, to desire; was tosttive.
So, going to the proper officer, he applied
for admission. The novelty of seeing a
lad alone, boldly asking for a place.-.bo of
ten secured by political preferences alone,
or by the entreaties of influential friends,
attracted at once the attention of the offi
cer, and he inquired, “ What can you do?"
The reply was prompt amj decisive, “ _4ny
thimj that any other hoy can.” Ho was
told to call again in a few days, and leav
ing, be hastened to tell his mother the
step he had taken. She thought the mat
ter merely a whim, and did not suppose it
would accomplish anything. But the few
days passed, and the place was given to„
the enterprising lad. "
Scarcely in his new position he began
to show marks of genius and aptitude which
outdid his associates, and step by step the
baker’s boy rose in ,influence and rank.
His aim was high, bis courage undaunted,
his perseverance unfailing; and id-day he
stands among the highest in rank and'the
most influential in power of the “great
Ones” who compose the United States
Navy. Such, in brief, is the carper of
Wra. L. Hudson, Commander of the U.
S. Steamer Niagara* whose arrival at Trin
ity Bay caused a greater thrill of enthusi
astic pleasure to swell American hearts,
than any event si QC <* the declaration of
IqdependaUce.— L. I. Farmer.
A Good Anecdotoi
The following conversation T(rW; .Over
heard among ‘ the Yolunteers of tbo Rio
Grande.’ Scene, night. Two Volunteers
wrapped in blankets, and half buried in
mud :
Volunteer Ist.—‘Jim, How Como you
to volunteer ?■
Volunteer 2d —* Why Bob,, you see I
have no wife to care a red cent forinis, and
so I volunteered; and besides, TlUe war!
Now tell me how. you came out here.
Volunteer let. — £ Whv the faptw, you
know, I—l have got a wue, and SO I came
out here because I lia e peace /’
Hereupon both the volunteersturhed
over in Iheir blankets: got hneft plastering
of mud, and went to sleep, "' ■
Touob Sxouies.— One editor, a inend
at o»r elbpw, says that there' is' a jseS? df
road, not two miles from bere,
that when two teams meet, theyhaiol>oth
to got over the fence before eithfci cab
pass, ' _ /_•
Another says: A Californian writes
that they have Ire flicsso
use them .to cook by. -jfhmf
des on their hind legs. whiw jfcrt bent for
the pujrpose like potJwob*. v
[ A third says’? There is a Journeyman
Jailor w||c^ v sa
he. can sew the finest work online darkest
night, tdui £6 Other Ught wuw i®*t aft
fbrded by his T BSt
head is <px|to beldftroa the eifecfc hf c«-
i cTlvgß'
NO. 46