Newspaper Page Text
hitnrc s Ibwi. c
IEN A CUKE EB
SEASE Q ,
•ictvrrt. GlrtU, OrartVSlS
and Bladder, jUercm
;Wa. I'uint in the
Wxoases <j ike
Xoti uni • ' -
(K fit*, Si.
i!l uisauttt ari
:t <>f the Sexual Or
ilUiig.jMtt of Matw
fuff Vie £jjex, Lott -if
siK ji. w. Liver Jjit
'he fane. H’int
iHfad.fi- . .
ai ' f Z
Er FROM BOTH
u-e the disease originated,
in at- the case, recovery it
Jim. a permanent cnro'can
cut. i'vui alter the, diseaw
physicians and reahrted «H
• in—' are pleasant without
v - from mercury or balsam.
1-. 1 have rescued from fo
who in the lost stageso
.1■ vn given up to d&fejr
t- me in promising to fti *
• ■!•■ -!< under my care, a per*
:ivt diseases are thegreatest
the lirst cause of Consump*
r - jli-and should be ft
■ a permanent cure is
the tares falling into tha
•olio not only foil to cocetbft
in, filling the system with
ise, luvstcasiths sufferer into
he treatment not cause death
lies, the disease is MltoHad
in with feeble constitutions,
cd uy a Tints which bettitgi
n-. Eruptions and othfr -if
o>\t. will Lungs, enUlllngtlp.
uttering, and consigning tb«a
rnidable enemy to heel th, far
u.-r.-o of ImmAn disease* cut*
>n the system, drawing it*
h a 1 Tew yean of suffering
It destroy* the Nervous sy».
energies of life, causes men*
■ proper development of the
a-, society; business, and all '
' i- sufferer wrecked In body
and a train of evllsi
itself. With Hie fnlleat cons
>!i be effected, atid with the
■s my patients can be restored
must the use of Patent Usd*
: utvnious snares in the coi
,>.cii and rob the unwary Bttf
•. oust itut ions, mined by the
the equally pa iso nous! ,
•diciiK's." I have cabefaOr
Patent Medicines and Him.
('• Trcsive Sublimate, which"
of mercury and a dead*
i -i*; the disease disable* the
strums now In use aye pat
:>t persons, whe do not tin- 1
he victoria medica, and At*
- bilge of the human system,
and that to make money re-
-os ofmales and female*
twenty yean of pne,
ids of the most remarkable
"•-Mohs writ to ahy parted
■ patients communicating
: correspondence strictly
-I MMEIiVILLE, M t ’
k >V .Vo. 109} Beloto Twelfth,
• IATION, PHIL-
W ty special endowment
• ri«cd, affected with nr-
vjtal liiseases, snch as flier*
• ■.;< nb, Gonorrhoea, BUdU
• ■'-.>/Jlmtt, «fe„ tfe.
■ h» of thV- awful destruction
1 biusiM-s, add the deceptions'
' irritns of such diseases by
h-i tin i? Consulting Surgeon,
>• ir nuoi". to open aßUtpett
»s of diseases. In all their.
' i '• grctir,.in all who apply
ibeir condition, (age, occn*
i ,n cases ot cstmhe poverty,
in ine /r« of charge. It 1*
Htton commands the highest
iv UI furnish the most epprot-
r.( the pail, feel aamred tlutt
I. oflort * havwbbMl
-d. especially to t he youSfe
;r. tjn-jiiH'lvi.s, with miowea
it much despised cane,
i-iit'H'ii, a Report un Sperm*
-. the vice of Onanhnw, Han
•tiier .disease* of tim Sexual
.-■O. vlii.h will be Eeotrby
r/d-ary, cu the recent.
I'lent. Or. GEOROE B.CAB*
i vard A-s-ajcintibn, No. 2S.
. Rv order of the IMrecten.-
I>. IIKARTWELts. Preti.
NT) ITS PRBMA-
I'ublished, Gratis, tlie^SDth
orriiea. or . Local Weakntas,
ti; i Nervous Bibiltty, Xmpo*
ruige generally, by Wj ;
I li. HE LANKY, M. B.
li. iny itlarming couplatUtS,
..<1 eolituile of youth,BUT.
I' IIUiCINE, is in thi*small
1 tli- entirely n-vr and high
iit-d <jy the Author, folly
m ry one is enabled Co cars
it ait po-nili’e cost, therfchy
rum? of the dny. -
ini i**t free in a sealed
i ;«n p-ostag' stamps toDr.
eet. Ne» York City. -* f
VMM Ell FASH
-1.1., Merchant Tailor, late of
■ 'i; the citizens of Altoona
> 1 the building taro door*
..■el one door South of Kb*
I. re ho is now receiving Uf
MM UR GOODS,
■ 11 prices. Plain andVanqr
tr. EHk.gatin TelrHWar
:. inner Vestings, idobort,
for, all of which ‘fiavHH
ami on flie most rwuoiu-
■new, he thinks, wfil «M>
. or him with their or^a<
!■ dish a New Map of Blair
a vl surveys, containing all
ii-. the actual localities of
r Worship. School Uonaes,
' iotels, Stores, Farm Houfl-
1 .al Tillages, a Table of
t -ry. (riving the name and
1 *e.‘ engraved on the mar
i. ‘ahie fcale so as .to tnaks
a iiich will be cof red and
r- 11 vi-red to subscribers at
i!ii- .Mill C'rimfnaU is In
' -irculatwl thronglioot
<■!. .a Trfiil.4. Criminal
ii ill- b.,.nie, togetherwitl'
. irj| to l>e found in on>
' • for sis inonths, M
hoiU.i ivrii.,- their names
■ :■ -ithf-v r.-'M.- plulnljv
i Voik Police Gazette,
.V. io }hrk City.
1 ‘chest pbo
i; U) AGAINST THOSE
. Coilli. ; in ,J Otlier
the t xpo»ed t«tate of
i i-iitiimal clionjrc’ 3 ofoul
v• >f G. AV.
'• jON FOE EX
. I.OACUKS, ANTB,«ut
: Miuii r any circunWtM 1 *
if. V.’, KESSLKB.
-T QUALITY O;
’i 'OUTERS, Ti^to*
t't i a’.p at '
r * ' Ul*mf
• • -ui wy „^iK jt.-
MoCJBUM & DBRN,
THE AtTOONA TRIBUNE.
UoCBVM * MBN, PnUUMn ftad Proprietor*.
¥wum<un,(pa7abl«iiiruiU)l7to«4w>ce,) ' ifrjtb
All vtiptn diacontiiuMd »t the «xptatl«i «rf the tbm
nuu of ABmnaKo.
1 insertion ,t do. S do.
Four Unee f :*T s27)s *W
One square* (SUbmJ >W : 76 100
Two “ 06 “ ) 100 180 300
Three “ (» “ ) 1» 200 260
Orer three week* and leesthan three months, 25 ecntsger
square tor each insertion. i
Biz tinea orlMt,
Tour “ A9O 1090 19,99
Half a column, Ms# 1* 00 20 :00
"One column, tf# 26 00 90 00
-Administrators and Executors Notlaaa, 176
JlerqbanU adrartising by the year, thrao squares,
with liberty to change, ■ 10 00
Professional or Barium Cards, not exceeding 8
lines, wfch paper, per year, 6 00
Communications of a political character or ladivldaal in-
Cerostwßl be charged according to the above rate*.
Advertisements not marked with the number of Insertions
■dostrod, wfll be continued till forbid and-charged according
to the above terms.
Business five cents per line for every Insertion.
Obituary notions exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square.
THE CASH SYSTEM ADOPTED I
The Cheapest Paper in the Chanty I
With the present number, the' Tribune hm en
tered upon its third volume.' Commenced eta
time when the confidence of the. citizens of Al
toona in newspapers and newspaper publishers
was considerably shaken, if not totally annihila
ted, it has slowly bat sorely restored that con
fidence, and now stands upon a sore foundation,
and is universally acknowledged to be one of
the fixed institutions of our town. But this re
sult has not been achieved without a hard strug
gle, and considerable expenditure of time and
means on the pert of its editors. The steady
increase of patronage, however, has afforded in
dubitable evidence that their labors have been ap
In entering upon the new volume it is almost
unnecessary to say that the THfiuacwill contin
ue to be “ LrozPKHDKKT is Evkstthimo,” be
ing biassed neither by fear, favor nor affection,
in favor of parties or sects. In this respect it
is only necessary-to say that the past affords a
Ihir index as to our future coarse.
It has always been our aim to make the Tri
bune, a reliable first-class Local Papxb, aa we.
believe that in that character alone, country pa
pers can successfully compete with their flashy
city neighbors. To this end we have secured
correspondents in various parts of the county,
who furnish us with all the items of , local finter
efit in their vicinity. We purposeaddisgothen
to our list as soon os we can obtain them. Du
ring the next year we shall redouble bur efforts
to make Die ‘Tribune a perfect compendium of
Hons News— a reliable, vibst-class Local
Papke, second to*none in the country, and as
such a welcome weekly visitor to our patrons,
whether at home or abroad.
Bat while, the Local Department iholl be oar
speoial care, ire shall alto devote acanaidwa
ble space to Litcrarx Matter, Fuji and Ho
mor, and ibe chronicling of events of general
interest to onr readers. yte purpose also pub*
lisbing from time to time “ Original Sketches of
Men and Things ” which will be tarnished by
our contributors. We have made arrangements
also to haye a weekly letter Cram Philadelphia,
and judging from the reputation onr correspon
dent sustains as a popular writer, these letters
will be a rich'treat to our readers.
As we are decided!/ journalists of the pro
gressive. school, we have equcluded to adopt the
cash.system ia opr .bnsinees. The neglect of
quite a number ofow patrons to pay np prompt
ly, and the of others, has compelled
ds to adept’this. corpse. and experience
has foliy. proved ,to our satisfaction that the
credit (/stop will not work'-with newspaper;
publishers. From- this date no paper 1 will be !
sent from this paid for in advance, J
and at the expiration ofthe time paidfdr, if
tud renewed, will; be promptly stopped. This
arrangement does no .injustice to our patrons,
wfaile'it will protect ds from Che impositions of
soulless scoundrels, -and enable us .to devote
more attention to onr. papier. = ~ \
Becoguiiing.the prinoiplo that contracts to
be satisfactory should beiftaught with mutual
benefit to both parties, and as money in large
amounts, ,m advanet, is of mere .value to os thso;
when received in as an •• induce
ment to numbers who would otherwise- discon
tinue, as well as to those who here never yet
taken the paper, we offer it K at tike following
low rates for the ooming year:
1 copy, one year $l5O
JOeopip « ($1.25 per copy) IV$O
: 5° “ (tI.OO percifii) 2000
aad.ali above 20 nt the same per copy.
The money must, hi alteow»,accompany
- erdef. • ‘ v r ; : ■
Bythwabowit idU be atta that on paper
ia emphatically the cheapest inthe county.
; As tp its merits wo leave in to the public to de
clde. TFo eaniestly request our friends throngb
out the county to "give as a lift,” as we hove
v no doabfcuaoh ofthem can readily obtain a club
to their neighborhood.
Cahyawkrs Waktsd.—Several energatiobu
®ioeaa men wanted to canvass the comity for;
■- * a ' 3acTl^ers: to the Ttiiwn, a liberal* pet-oen*'
.rsge-will be allowed. i* i! "‘ ’[
I months. 6 monthe. 1 year
sl 86 $9 00 *6 00
. .2 60 400 . 700
400 000 1000
8 00 U 00
A PtEiffllKE RIDE.
A mighty cartons creature '
li the modern Iron borte,
And a Tory fanny feature
His innantiara, ofcourts;
And then hto outside hamper,
*be cranks and Talrai ud thing*
AH help to aiakohlin scamper,
As if ha vsibtobwibgs.
. . Those glaringeyeaadviaeone
. That be never gtw* It blind
But.the ostler doe* surprise one
When he stirs hlm up behind;
. He feeds on fire end water,
~ , Still eatingon therun.
And never cries for quarter
Until hi* Journey's done.
Hark! ths bell it ringing;
dump! leep on the cars;
Moving, swaying, twinging,
They’ve takendoWntbe ban.
Tromout the depot poshljig,
His belly toll of coke,
And peat hie gazers rushing,
Abreathing fire qnd smoke.
Bla obuht chphl chubs come thicker,
He is gatheringhis might;
The objects flash by quicker,
A wink, and out of sight.
Ifezt .flashing pa«t» creasing,
1A Jingle and aaeteam,
' Bow wondelcftil, pogroaaing,
Is our yapor-driven team.
Now crushing through a tunnel,
1 Now tearing over plain,
Spouting from the funnel
Sparks like showers of rain;
Creating now the river,
Bow queer it makes one feel,
To tee the treaeols quiver,
Andhear the “critter” squeal.
Creeping op the mountain;
Bashing down a grade.
Stopping at a fountain,
Vfheretho courser’s meal is made.
Agalnlike expreaa. lightning,
We thunder o’er the track,
The formers’ nags a flrlght’hing
As we pass ’em in a crack.
Now like a meteor whirling
Bound a sudden curve,
Dense smoke above us curling,
Straining every nerve.
Ahead of thno.a minute,
Harkl hear the.whistle scream,
A smash up—we are in it,
Can, passengers audteom.
Whet shrieking, shouting, crying,
Xs heard on every aide.
While lege and heads ere flying,
■ Prqjecfed Ur and wide. v
I’mspitted by this tie^raii.
Get out l.fcnowl can’t; .
Lord t here’s a pretty flnele 1
To alitt(epleesars Jaaut.
BREACH OF PROMISE.
BY A BEXIBED ATTORNEY.
“Is it possible, Rose lieavitt ?” exclaim
ed I, as 1 saw a lady whom I recognized
as one of jbhe beautiful heircsses.of Boston
enter my office. ■ \
“ I dare say you are surprised, hah my
bdsiness is of a strictly legal character, so
you most not wasteany exclamations upon
Rose Leavitt was a beauty and an heir
ess, bntshe wasa strange girl for all that.
Her father had died when she was
about sixteen, leaving something like a
millioh to be dimded between her and her
two brothers. 1 Charles and Henry lieavitt
were much older than she, and both of
them had long been settled down as cpriet
orderly business men. They w;ere respec
ti&le in (he iUllesfc sensie of the word*, and
were never Icpowrn to be erring in the
' Rose seemed to be cast in another en
tirely different mould from-that in which
they had been formal. Atschoolshehad
beoh B<> wild that neikhier muter nor mis
tress could control'ber-' She would bar*
her bwh way, a peculiarity towhioh t am
sorry, to say, very many young ladiesare
addicted* ■ -
For the proprieties of mean
for those set forxhalities of life, whighbass
as such in tfze world of fashion—she had
sovereign obntempt. She hated dandies,
hated pianos, music books, French and
German methods, in fact sheseemed stri
kingly disposed to live oat Imrexisteace
after tho dictates of her own faney/orher
caprice, as the reader may choose
gard it. She passed into her twenty-first,
year without having done anything to call
the attention of the world at large to her.
Her whims had only been manifest in the
school, or at the home of her oldest broth
er/with whom she resided.
She was now twenty-two, and was in a
fair way to become historical, as-1 shall
inform the reader. Of course, Rose had
a profusion of lovers-heiress.es always
had them as plenty as suolv-flakes at
But Roaevery summarily disposed of
this crowd, by selecting from them ’ one
who was certainly a very superior fellow.
He was not rich, and had not been very
forward in his attentions, until it was plain
to him, and all the worlds that she had
taken a fancy to him. Charles Carpenter
war poor, but he sincerely loved theway
wod girl, and would: hot bavh beat
i£sh« had notjovod her;
ALTOONA PA., THURSDAY, MAY 27, 1858.
• Thenßpse, after she had secured him
in her toils, as -the spider does the fly,
■seemed a little disposed to play the co
quette. . Now Charles Carpenter had not
assurance enough to deal with a coquettish
heiress, j He was not a man of the world.
He was conscious of the Vast difference in
their social- position, and when'she began
to flirt with another, he did not resent it;
hut seemed to regard it as a change of
sentiment bn her part, to which he could
offer no reasonable objection. Calmly
yielding to the fate which denied him the
bliss of being loved, he let u concealment
'like a wbnn in the bud feed on his damask
Rose, flirted. A new star had risen in
the firmament of that circle in which she
moved in the person of Mr. Sampson
Doele. ! H0 had lately come from Balti
. more, was the son of a merchant prince,
pwned a fine estate on the Rappahannock
in Virginia; with tifo hundred negroes.
Rose flirted with him, and Mr. Sampson
Deele was as constant as a needle to the
pole. Soon the flirtation assumed a more
serious aspect. The elegant gentleman
was ever at; her side, and she never failed
to smile upon him. Poor Carpenter gave
up all for lost, and never intruded upon
For about three months Mr. Deele had
clung to her, and then it was whispered
that he had proposed and was accepted.
Rose’s brothers were in ecstacies. They
had been afraid she would throw herself
away upon A poor fellow like Carpenter;
and both of them declared that it was the
most sensible thing thing they had ever
known her ite do; .inasmuch as they did
not expect much of her in the way of mat
I had heard all about these things as
matter of gpsssp. I pitied poor Carpen
ter, with whom I was well acquainted ; but
the wealthy position, prospects and mag
nificent expectations of Mr. Sampson Deele
could not be gaipsayed.
“ How is Mr. Deele?” I asked when she
was seated.: . ■ -
“He is a knave,” replied she, smartly.
I was Utterly astonished at the ebullition
of feeling, i
“ Read that letter, Mr. Docket, and let
it explain my business in a lawyer’s Office.”
I took the document; it was from Mr.,
Sampson Deele. From it I learned for
the first time, that the engagement be
tween the parties had been broken up.—
It appeared, that she had formally dismis
sed him. The letter was strictly a busi
ness document. If he had written any
thing more delicate, he had done so before
this was pejaned. In this he laid aside
the character of the lover, and assumed
that of business, looking out sharply for
his material interest. The substance of it
was that tie writer, would prosecute her
for a breach of promise, if she refused to
“Whatshall I do, Mr. Docket?” she
asked, trying to laugh, but I could observe
the trepidation that filled her mind.
“Really, Rose, this is a bad business.
Why did yqu banish iiim ? I can con
ceive what a terrible misfortune it must
be, to be exiled from your presence.”
“ I banished him because he is a knave,
I can prpve-thai he is a. gambler, a profes
“ That will not be sufficient.”
“I feared not, but one*thing is certain,
I will never speak to him again, let the
consequences be what they may.’*
“ Have you committed yourself ?”
“Has there been any letters?”
“Yes; he has everything in blabk and
“ Badj bad, Rose.” ■
u I knew: that, ot* I should not have
come to yott with such an affair."
I questioned her closely as to all the
particulatrs of the afihir. Mr, Sampson
Heele cquld have iio better ease sofaras
fißmgs wept then. It looked Just as if
everything had been done ty design; and
before the interview was miihhea' 1 was
. satisfied that he .was; a scoundrel ; that all
he Granted was my fair clients fortune.—
Bntrose was cbmjfietdy in hm jibwer.
JFor two or three days I fretted over the
case and then decided to go to Baltiitiore
myself. Enjoining upon Rose the strict
est secrecy iin regard to my movements, I
departed. >lt would take mncH space to
relate the ‘incidents of my scarohTn Bal
tore, brides it would spoil ~se story,
I withhold them.
On piy return, Ihastcnodto Baseband
desired her to send for Mr. Bede He
came and impudently. stated : the grounds
of his claim toHhe-haifd of the heiress.
“Ilow much Trill buy you off,. Mr.
Beele?”I asked, with all appearance of
deep anxiety. ' N x
“ Well, sir, I do not wish to prosecute
the lady. If she has ceased to love me, it
is not my fault; but it is not right that I
should be a sufferer by her change of sen
timents. She is worth, I ani told, some
three hundred thousand dollars. I will
not be hard with her. Give me one-sixth
of her fortune, and I will return the let
« air, wp iiofc da
said -hhy add
to depart.; ' :8 - af,!
, 1 >
[independent in everything.]
“One word mo,re: do you think your
claim upon the lady is good ?”
“Wait a moment, then, and I will con
vince you to the contrary.”
I opened the door of ah adjoining room,
and Rose conducted a lady who had come
from Baltimore with me, into the apart
“ This lady will be an excellent witness
for the defense,” I remarked.
u Thunder,” shouted he as he seized
his hat and rushed from the house. :
Bose threw, herself on the sofa and
laughed till 1 thought she would go into
hysterics—the crazy girl I
In, a word, the strange lady was Mrs.
Sampson Deele, wife of the aspirant for
Bose's hand and fortune, whom the wretch
had deserted several years before.- So
much for my visit to Baltimore. Rose re
warded Mrs. D. for her trouble, aud it was
h profitable journey to her. About a year
after, Charles Carpenter was made happy
by receiving the hand of Rose, and, I am
pleased to add, she has made a very steady
The Duke of Somerset, (a Seymour)
commonly called the proud Duke, employ
ed Seymour the artist to paint the por
traits of his horses at Petworth. One day,
at dinner, the duke filled his glass, and
saying with a sneer—
“ Cousin Seymour, your health,” drank
“My lord,” said the artist, “I believe
I have the honor of being related to your
The proud peer arose from the table,
and ordered the Steward to dismiss the
presumptuous painter, and employ an
humbler brother of the brush.
This was accordingly done; but when
the new painter saw the spirited works of
his predecessor,, he shook his head, and
“No man in the world can compete
with James Seymour.'*
The duke now condescended to recall
his discarded cousin.
“My Lord,” was the answer of Sey
mour, “I will now prove to the World that
I am one of your blood—l won’t come!”
Upon receiving this laconic reply, the
duke sent his steward to demand a for
mer loan of one hundred pounds sterling.
Seymour briefly replied that he would
write to his grace; he did so, but directed
his letter, ‘Opposite the trunk-maker’s,
Enraged at this additional insnlt, the
duke threw the letter into the fire without
opening it, and immediately ordered his
steward to have him arrested.
But Seymour, struck with au oppor
tunity of evasion, carelessly observed, that
“it was hasty in his grace to barn the
letter, because it contained a bank note of
one hundred pounds sterling, and there
fore, they were how quits.”
For this reason, stepping on a woman’s
foot is equivalent to squeezing her hand,
and equally proper, bat sometimes more
convenient, as it can be done under the
table. Be careful, however, never to at
tempt it at a crowded table, for fear of
making a mistake.. We once saw a lady
very much confused, who was trying to
give a signal to a gentleman opposite, and
instead of his, she trod, and' pressed on the
corn covered toes of an old bachelor. He
bore it as long as he codld, when be very
quietly remarked :
“Madame, .when you wish to tread on a
gentleman’s toes, he particular arid get the
foot that belongs to him—for the last five
minutes you haVe been jamming my corns
Fashion.— What could exhibit a more
fantastical appearance than an English
bean of the fourteenth century I He wore
long pointed shoes, ffustened to his knee
% gold .or silver chains j hqse of one. co
lor on the one leg, and another , color on
other, ■ short breeches .which did not
reach to the midde of his coat,
orie-half Vrbiite'y' the other half black .or
blue ;' a long beaJrdj a silk hood buttoned
under the chhi> enibrindered vrith grdt
esque figure of animals, dancing men,
Jto., andsometimes ornamented with gold
and precious' stones; This dress itM in
the height of the mode in the' reign of
King Edward IH.j—[flehry’s History of
V Elegant LivtNG.~An Iria&bati who
lives with d vegetarian, writes to a friend,
he wants to know whatillegant liv
ing is, he mast come to hb hon«e, where
the breakfast consists- of and
supper of athreakliwl.
The Peer and the Painter.
Advice to the Ladles.
A pretty hand and 6 pretty foot always go together,
When wo speak of one wo always think of the other.
There is a Gookney youth who,
ereiy time he wishes to get a glimpse of
his sweetheart,' eries “ Firfe’l” ditectly ud
der hefwihddwl In the aIMM of theWoK
ment, she plunges her head opt bit the
window, and inquires ♦‘ Where ?” When
he poetically slaps'himself on the
and exclaims, “’Ere, miy Hangelinai”
- y-* . ,-i •' ■* *■’ t^y l -I
■7 —' ■ , • J'J - -*-■» ;•
Served Him Right.
Some yean ago, before &ttsbuirgh,.'the
dingy city of Western Pennsylvania, was
reached by railroads from the Fast/the
wagon was a great institution. 'The well
tried wheels untiringly toiled over moun
tains and vales making journeys, slow but
sure. Dave Stewart was always wagging
his tongue in boasting of bis great feats
which had been performed in his expedi
tions teaming over the Alleghenies. Some,
of these mountain passes are very narrow
cuts into the side of clif&, Slid on outside
of a pokerish precipice the
driver to hug close the reck as he goes.
When teamsters meet in soph places the
rule of the road was .set aside and the
stoutest man keeps to the with. Dave was
six feet , high and Well proportioned like
Frank Granger bf ahti-maapn memory—
and when one day, he met jan old gentle
man driving along leisurely in his gig,
Dave determined to Have sOme Ain at his
expense: High above their heads was an
over hanging table rock; and as the horses
stood head to head, Dave Said to the old
“I want you to do me v a fhvor.”
“Certainly,” said the old man.
can Ido for you?” ,iM ' -
“ I want you to climb ujb bn that rook,
and dance while I whistle r*
“ I shall do no such a thing, and; I trust
you do not intend to take advantage of ah
old man in such a place as : Ibis.” . >
Dave stepped forward withjjiis heavy horse
whip in his hand, and raising it threaten
ed to lay it on him if he didfnpt mount the
rock and do as he was told.: Seeing Dave
was in earnest the gentleman made a vir
tue of necessity, and scrambled up. Dave
whistled and ho danced till both were
tired, and the fun was spoil stale; when
Dave told hint to come down, to back out
of the pass, and let him go 6n.
“ But,” said the old gentleman, as he
came (Town, “ I want you to do me a fa-
“And what is that?” ;
“ I wan’t you to go up there and dance
while I Whistle.” *
Dave refused intimating that he would
see the old man in a very had place first.
“ You won’t, eh I” said I the stranger
drawing a pistol suddenly, and pointing it
at Dave’s breast; “I’ll mahe day light
shine through you in less 'than two sec
onds, if you don’t move.”
Dave told me the story hinjself, and said,
What else could Ido ?: The old fellqw
was in earnest; up I had; to climb, and
there I had to dance while! |he old fellew
whistled and laughed, and.threatened to
shoot me if I stepped a minute, and ho
kept me going full jump, tfoß two hours, or
more, till I was in a lather worse than my
horse in July. When I just ready to
hill off he let me come down, and made
me back nut of the pass, and he drove by,
advising me never to ask any unnecessary
favors of strangers. And T don’t mean
Theodore Parker says that when a
real revival of religion takba place, u forts
will be turned into public]gardens, ships
of war into penny posters laCross the sea,
jails into, hospitals, black slavery and white
slavery done away with, there will be no
more murder, no more prostitution, no
more crime pr drunkenhessf—hot art Irish
man; will be drank, nor even a member of
Congress.” - -
Worth.: —A woman is either worth a
great deal or nothing. If jgppd'iqr noth
ing, she is not worth getting jealoua fpr;
if she be i' true woman,ah6 will hot in
tentionally rive any cause of
A man is a brute to be jealous of a good
woniah—a fool to be of a word
less onerrbht is a doable fool to cal his
throat for either of them.
Mb. IdBOOMPTOtt.—A young lad y* who
is well posted in all liter
ature of thedhy, and Torn
M'ocijreV jWdrks hlue in sky
colored convulsions to perfection, inhp
cently inquired of a youngi gentleman the
other night 1 who thin Mr. Lecopijjtdn was,
ttho had’occasioned so mhch trouble at
' ' ! r '• --- ~ ll:‘-
ttSST If you are a gentleman and meet a
lady of ydnr acquaintance in the street itb
Kerpart lb’ notice you first, unlesa, indeed,
ypfi intimate. The reason is, if
you now to a lady first she may not choose
to acknowledge you, and there is no rem-
but if she bows to yeti, you as ajgcn
ricthah, cannot cut her. |
B&. An old dutchma njindertook to wal
lop hb son, but jake turned upon him
and walloped him. The old man consoled
himself for his defeat by rejoicing at his
■son’s superior manhood. He said: ‘Veil,
jake ish a smart fellow. He can vip lus
own taddy.” ,
“ I think,” said a farmer, “ I should
make a good Congressman,: for I use their
language.: 1 1 received two hills the other
d&yv y£th a request for! immediate pay
ment: the' ope I oidereilr' to bd* dd
riimontha" 'j i‘
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS,
Hefiit Wwd Beecher.
Thill distinguished divino, Unquestion
ably the most popular; pulpit orator in the
United States, has an enviable faculty pf
impressing upon his hearers in short, terse
sentences, the opinions which he wishes
to inculcate. For example take the fol
lowing maxima, selected from a work enti
tled Life thoughts, a volume of fragments
gathered from his extemporaneous dis
course by a member of his congregation:
“I, think the wickedest people on earth
are those who use a fbrce of genius to make
themselves selfish in the noblest things
keeping themselves aloof from the vulgar
and the ignorant and the Unknown: rising
higher tad higher in taste, till they sit,
upon the ice, oil the mountain-top of etor?
nal congelation.” ,
“Men afraid of slight outward acta whioh
will injure them in the eyes of others,
while they are heedless of the damnation
which throbs in their souls in hatreds and
jealousies end revenges.” ‘
“ Many people use their refinements as
aspider uses his web, to patch' theweak
Upon, that they may be mercilessly dpvonr* '
ed. Christian men should use refinement
on this principle: the more ’ I have, the
more l .owe to those who are less thahl.’?
“ The most 'dangerous, infidelity of th%
days is .the infidelity of the rieh and ortho*
“It is not well for a man to pHy oreaiixl
and live skim-milk.?
, “iThe mother’s heart is the child's school*
room.” - \ r
“They are not refbnhen .who simply
abhor eviL Such men become in
abhorrent themselves.’’ r
“ There are many troubles. jhtt
can’t cure by the . Bible and ; the Hymn*
book, but which you; can cure by a good,
peibniption and a breath of fixah’air.
u lt would almost seem as if there were
a certain drollery of art which leads men
who think they are: doing one thing to dd
another and very. different one. . Thus,
men have set up in' their painted church*
windows the symbolism of virtues and gra*
ces, and the images of saints, and even of
Divinity itself Yet now, what does the
window do httt mock ' the separations and
proud isolations ef Christian men ? .
there sit thti audience,, each one taking I
separate color; and ‘there are bluaOlma
tians and red Christians, there are yellow
saints and orange saints, there are purple
Christians and green Christiana; but, how
few are simple, pure, white Christiana upi*
ting; all the cardinal graces, and proudi
not of separate colors, but of the whole
manhood of Christ !”•
BOU “My Jamfea is in very good boyJ&
said an old lady, “but ho hastus littla
falling, for none of. us ore perfect ,He
threw the cat in the fire, flung nis grand
mother’s wig into the cistern, put ififif
daddy’s powder-horn in the, stove, tied' the
coffee-pot to tail, let off squibs in
the barn, and took my cap-bpbiu fpr*
fishing 'line; hat these are only obildifh
follies—-he's ah excellent boy after aU.™
“ Say, nigga, cum and hab do
ploasnrob a dinin' .aid year mos hamhle
serpent, won’t you, heh?” “Why look
here Sam-“-rse not particularly in nay sq-,
siatiphs; but I wish to know fus, before T
vail myself ob yon perlite imptimash.vinV'
what you hab your* todjins ?” “No d®>
ference, nigga, whar I lodge, I don't**,
you sleep wid me —only to eat dinner
in agreeable sbciuinbility.”
following are a few PHrbarf
jPotMto:-—The Press—it expresses truth,'
ex-presses errors; impresses, knowledge,
depresses tyrannjjf, and oppresses none, —.
Womim—the fairest work' of
the edition being' extensive, let no xnan
bd without a dopy. Babies—miniature
editions of humanity, issued periodically/
and displayed in small caps.
_ Jesus.—The name of Jesus is not only
l|ght but also food; it is likewise oil, with*
put which all the food of the soul is dry Jf
it iS salt, unseasoned by which whatever
is presented to us insipid; it is honey in
the mouth, melody in the car, joy in the.
heart, medicine to the soul; and there,
are no charms in any discourse, in, which
BSs name is not heard.— Bernard,
' An old Dutch tavern-keeper w&s
had his third with, being asked hia vieWn'
of matrimony, replied, “ Yell, den, yott
see, the first time I marries for loye—<Utj
Wash gootj den I marries for peauty—dat
wash goot too, apout as goot as deficit;
but dis time I marries for money, and difi
is'petter as both.”
S/SF- Public opinion is a stream which
digs its own bed. We may occasionally
moderate or quicken its coarse, but i(Tis
very difficult to alter it. And yet it some*
times alters, and even reverses iis own
course—one can scarcely tell why ot
“ One word more, and! haTedoncs*
How we dread to lhis sentencefironi
tholipaofa spsakdrat pnblic
It is always* sore indication
bracing up,for a finwh ttert.
\ > ■»'