The Altoona tribune. (Altoona, Pa.) 1856-19??, May 06, 1858, Image 1
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Jonr lines or Ims, » » »gM » One saaare, ( 8 lines,) W 76 . -I W (18 “ ) 100 160 SCO Over three weeks sal less than three months, 25 cents per square lor each Insintlwi not c&aaedeatb ,| rase i- entailed i '• o nstltniiojj*, | ‘which oelnti § i aiul- other.S K“. vutallinc«j>. s 'jii-igniagtlwjß i ftmontha, 6 month*. -.1 year l~rr « is ss u , «« : 10.00 uoo .SSfacdamn, ttOO £w Daa ooltmift. 14 00 » 00 4W W ■ adminirtratora and Kxacutoaa 176 ElderchanUadrertlatogby the year, three agnarea, . ■ with liberty to change, „ " , uu iProfcMlonal or Bnaiaeu Card*, , not exceeding 8 f line*, with paper, per year, * 00 I. OomnumicatloM of a political character or Indlrtdualln iuroet will bo charged according tothoaboyerata*. " AdvertUomenU not marked with the number of toaertlbna IdisL-ed, will bo continued till forbid and charged accotdlng iy to health. Si, |H9 ru: .i.r-nacs can. tl&iS in. drawing It* r- <f suffering ’ ’ .Ncrvoaa *j», ’ }:■s cause* JOea. -'.a : ; :rcnt of the ii mmss, and all v jsj iiiusd 1c body a I ia!n oferlhi -fl !Ifullest coa- ' fil •'■■if-.Vbcue that m t.l. and with the t iu:i be restored ,to the above terms. , - : DuiinMi notice* five cent* per Une S»r e™ 7 tourtlcß.. • /i-a teat Med. :„t '.■* In the col. Js unwary e'nt •••:*? mined by th* ■i!y poisonous have carefully d . ncs and find dimata, width ''a ry and a Jeivd. ■.«! ■ disable* th» :-j|| rj-t txe pvt ,•< •ho do not un- >3 "•'tea, and-ar* i .■m.engyrtcia. -Sj ■kit-money ro- •! --■i l female* >..-ne of peace is -- r< tnaritahl* || any part ul SI •i.narnlcalinj a ■knci;«trlCtiiy 1 X-* 11:0, I - I •V im- ■:u d Kith r&e ;S i act u S&& -i rrhtni, Oleft, a ffj.. i. Ml 4 ;| ■i'liCC+ptiOM ?| 'iliWWf* by !; : i:gS«rg«oo, .■ » Dlcpea- » "■. 1 :i\ (tU their 'GK *■ll ■wji'i nppljr ■ < u.*.-, ixcs- ■ I <-: u;xn. It (• ■ I'-- tin- higbtn I »U'»ht BfpTOt- I •I -.“Mirwl.tlßlt | !r -b ; hv T-onat, • j Y.iU 4 T«ie*rf I Yave. 1 '" - : §= I it on Hpctiaa 1 nanism. Mu 3 ■f rhi> : stcirod I W wjnt-t* s •.’.1.; i coeijit.of J JI. CAlr I'M.n .So. %‘S; ih- t)ir*jd«r», :i.L. /• m'L ;!)«. ii-ly. .S ■ AND I w.iyraodidn* iS|l bf.AVjn: o>«T gfaj as it le fur H rill care all : I'uly to curs |gl ac to Mirsc- jpg ■ 1 ofprccinejy B|l i.-li wOUtas* Bl| pf pi • ration* itiU) tsS ir;: si in tlj» gSB cut ivaioving -ag 11 lim Ws*n ||S (.! it wiUcur* Mi r. that it will <»*■ sc, wj,crvTcH Sj| ‘■■u-orUlDg to return v-.:3 Price L«jj| !.Tan.l4-tf. fal jj:s of '■iM etui .ViivotH i i tcr.c.v, suit V. M. D. .. f ’iui)!«lnt», ••<.»«, ttiPj' ■ this mmll . ■Ji.H !ii?»l -inllye- s• ’•<J to cure <st, thcm>y n t-calod m** t'K hANEf, t J ’O7-Jy. I’ASH t.' .r. late «f r AUwua : two doors of X«- cv> ivlng his Fancy : vet iJar • in bhort. ii he v> tii M'll-iOIIV will epa ;iir orflijfa.' M TTE.-r .iiirj" is Jn i :■ 1 OUCtIOUI . Criminal t vtliwp wilt’ Mud In any mouth#, W tmir name* k- plainly.) C<A, V - - fi7.ottc, ! ’ark Oily. jraacH T *110!$ rher ftficc.; state of tW npea ofotu tsRtSJBU ■Hi*: L TnwH 4ROSST IHSgjaißi: litee . *'-■* MeORUM & DERN, THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE. KoCSCH k ALLISOX, PnWUhon and Proprietor*. mus or a»v»*tmso. Obituary notices exceeding ten Übh, fifty eenU a *<iuar*. PROSPECTUS ALTOONA TEIBTJNB. THE CASH SYSTEM ADOPTED 1 fiie Cheapest Paper in the County! With to piwsant number,;.— 1 teredupoa its third tdlnme. Commenced at a time when the confidence of the citizens of Al ison* in newspapiere and newspaper pnbUaheniJ was considerably shaken, if not totally annlbila-. ted, it has slowly but , surely restored totcon-i fidedee, and now stands upon a anrefoundation, aadls universally acknowledged to be one of the fined institutions of our town. .But this re-j enlt has not bcen aehleved without a hard strugr gle and considerable iexpenditore of time and Lons on the pert of its edittrs. The ateady increase of dabitable otideaw that their laborahaTebeen aPr elated. In entering upon the new volume it is almost unnecessary to say that the win contin «e tb ‘‘lhMWnsa* ** Bmywnro,” be ing biassed neitheriby ftari ftror nor affection, in favor of parties or sects. In respect it is only necessaiy to say tot the peat affords a fab toex as to our future Courte. It has .always been our aim to make' the Tn lunt, a reliable first-class Local. Papke, as we believe tot in tot character alone, fcopntry pa pers can succijsrfully compete with their, flashy city neighbors: To this end we have secured oorrespondents In various parts of to county, who furnish us with all the iteina of local inter est in their vicinity. We purpose adding others to out list as soon os wo can obtain them. Du ring the next year we shall redouble our efforts to make the Tribune a perfect compendium of Home Kews— a reliable, Local Papes, second to none in the country, and as such a welcome weekly visitor to our patrons, [ whether at home or abroad- Bat while the Local Department shall he our special care, we shall else demote a considera ble space to Litbrabt Matteb, Fcs asd Hr kor, and the chronieling .of events of gcnwal. Interest to our readers. We purpose also pub lishing from time to'time “ Original Sketches of Men and Thin# ” which will be fnmjahed by our contributors. We bare'moOo arrangements also to hare a weeklyletter from and judging from the bur correapQf deut sustains as a popular writer, these letters will be a rich treat to onf readers; As we are decidedly journalists of the pro gressive school, wc have concluded to adopt the cash system in our business. The neglect of quite n number of our patrons to pay up prompt ly, and the rascality of others, has compelled us to adopt this course. Time and experience has fully proved to our satisfaction that . the credit system will not work with newspaper publishers. From this date no paper will be sent from this office, unless paid for in advance, and at the expiration of the time paid for, if not renewed, will be promptly, stopped. This arrangement does'no injustice to pur patrons, while it will protect us from the impositions of eoulless scoundrels; and enable na to devote more attention to our paper- ’ Itecogniziiig, the principle .that contract® to be satisfactory, should be fraught with mutual benefit to both parlies, and as money in large amounts, in advance, is of more value to us than when received in driblets, as on inducer meat to numbers who would otherwise discon tinue, as well as to those who have never yet taken the paper, we offer it at the following low rates for the coming year ; 1 copy, one year §l5O 10 copies “ (§1.26 per copy) 12 50 20 “ i “ ($l.OO per copy) 20 00 aad all above ,20 at the same rate—-§I per copy. The money must, in (til eatu, accompany the order. By the above it will bo Seen that our paper is emphatically the cheapest in the county.— As to its merits we leave in to the public to de cide. Wc earnestly request cur friends through out the bounty to ‘‘give as a lift,” as we have no doubt each of them can readily obtain a club In their neighborhood. CASYABfEHB Wanted.—Several energetic bu siness men wanted to coayass the Count; for Eubscriberß to the Tribwu. A liberal pe roen fc* aEm#- -■■■■•C.-v' . or TBS the Tribunehaam-i Sekt Piscdlang. A Pleasant Lesson. One evening as a poor man and his wife i with five or sis children were sitting at the door of their cottage, one of the chil dren said: “0, father, how poor we are I I do wish a good fairy would come and tell us where we might find a great treas ure. I guess 1 would not sit all day idle any more, and have so little to eat.” No sooner said than done—a beautiful woman, with .radient countenance, stood before them, who said, “ Little hoy, I heard you wish, and if you will obey my directions, you may find a great treasure.” Then.turning to the man, she said,“A treasure lira hid in your grounds j if you will seek for it, you will find, aud. jnay have it ; it is not three feet from the sur- r face either ; begin to dig io-morrow for it” . She then went ; away. The children clapped their hands for joy, and the man and his wife could hard ly credit their ears that they had really heard such a thing, for they were poor in deed. Though the 'man [had a large tract of land, it was uncultivated, yielding nothing, barely sufficient pasturage for a poorcow, which affordod them almost all the sure nourishment they had. They were poor, idle, discontented .people, and the children*half starved; so[ to be spre they were glad enough to hear the fairy’s words, and could hardly wait till morning to begin to dig. , / They were up with the .sun; those that could get shovels dug with them, those that could not, yrorked with their hands. In a few days they had dug a conaideba ble of a place over, and several times they thought they had come tp the .treasure, but it was only stones; they went on for several weeks, but had not found the treas ure. “ One night as they sat'at the door the 'beautiful fairy appeared. “ Well,” said she, “ you havn’t found the treasure yet! No matter, dig &yias, you’ll find it some time or other; meantime, Mr. Goodman, you must not let these little .folks starve: get some corn, throw into that patch you hate dug, mid have some corn growing. I’ll ; come again hymid-by-r-dig away* you'll [find the treasure So she tfent away. '“ That’s a capital idea ” said the father, (Good-man,) “I’ll get some com, and plant there to-morrow.” . So he did, and as they dug for the treas ure it pleased them to see how soon the corn sprung up, iahd ripened, and what a crop they had j aind' the cornstalks made nice food for the cow, too. The mother dug for the treasure, sometimes, and hav ing become accustomed to it, they ail ac complished quite a large space in a short time; and soon the good fairy appeared again.' She said, “she knew they had not found the treasure jet, hut she was afraid the young children had become tired of digging and she thought they had better go into the woods, and get some wild strawberries, and put into the place they had dug j it was just the place to make strawberries very |arge, 4fid it would please them; tmt .dig oh,” sold'she, “ you will certainly find the treasure.yet” So the next day the children went and brought home baskets of 7 strawberry roots, and planted a nice bed,of them; then they dug away again for the treasure. 'One gay thpy dug up a terrible hard old tree-stumps and stones, etc., round a large cherry behind the house, and they were very tired. That night a traveler came that way, and had to stop there over night, they Jived so for from any other house. As they Had no barn, he tied the horse to this cherry tree, and gave him his oats .put of a bag he had brought on hisv back. 13ie yent away next morn ing, but in a few days they found the pats .the horse had spilled and scattered had sprang up in the nicely dug ground, and they had’ a little field of oats! This pleased Mr. Goodman very much, and when the good fairy next appeared, he told her of it. “ Oh, yes,” she said, “it would be a good plan to plant something in each place as you dig it,” She said the next time she come she .would bring seeds for them. , Sothey had another object for which to dig beside the finding of the treasure—to see the things growing. She was as good as her word, and brought the seeds, and they had dug so well they could plant a great many mel ons, and other nice tilings which they never hud before in their lives; and the soil was so good, and had been so nicely dug and turned over for the that the plants grew so rapidly, and ripened so soon, that the next time she came she told them they had better step digging awhile, just till they could take care of the oats, and strawberries, melons, and other things. They had eaten as much as they wanted of them all the season, and sold some to the nearest houses, and now Mr. Good man said they would go next week to the nearest market town with the rest. So they went. The market people said the strawberries were the largest they bad ever seen, and their melons brought the higbeat price; and the mother sarprired ALTOONA, PA., THUESDAT, MAY 6, 1858. them all by showing 'them a cheese she had made from the milk of their cow, which had yielded twice as much, having had better feed. The youngest children had carried each two baskets of strawber ries, (the baskets they had made of willow twigs) while the elder imes and their far thor were loadedwithmelona/peare, beans, corn, etc. y and when jtlmy had sold them and come out of the town on their way home, a happier family never was seen.— They all had a handful of money they had earned themselvesl ! When they got home they sat round a table, and putting all their money upon it satiooking in wonder; and joy. They never bad seen so much in alii their lives before j they were so pleased; they bad quite for gotten the treasure theV had dug so hard and long for, till the miry put her head in at the door. ‘ ' “ How beautiful your farm looks I” said she, "and your cherry tree will bear bush els of nice cherries hesjt season, now you have dug away all those stones and stumps from the roots. Sco how it branches out! And what have you heife,” looking on the table, “ Money! silver! dollars ! Ah!” said she, “ Did Inot tm you there was a hidden treasure in yovr\ ground that you would certainty find, if you dug far it f This heap of money is the last part of the treasure you have foqnii by digging." << Look how wealthy you have become! -.How industrious and useful your chil dren have become —how hopeful and happy you are' Look atyou* farm now; where there was nothing but stuipps and stones before you dug, is now {. garden and £clds! Yes, you have found more than one 'treas ure—nnA now, should: yon like to know my nane ? I am called “ Industry, or the Poor Man’s Fairy." X| always know and tell where a treasure is, to all-children even, if they will liste words. Adieu, adieu,’■ hand and disappeared, looking at the treasure y A Disappol . A capital story is toll who on Sunday stroll; church, and was electi by the sparkle of a pat eyes, which were rivet After service he saw t witching Orbs leave the emboldened by her gbu follow her, his heart ac He saw her look behii evinced some emotion He then quickened his tually slackened hers, come up with her-—but young gentleman to t own way: t •“ Noble young ere “ her artless and yarm the bonds of custom. “ I reached within her. She suddenly ha] face to me. My heart; I reached the spot whi began to speak, and I>| if doing reverence to a “ Are you a pedlar? “ No, my dear gir occupation,” “Well, I don't kno not very harshly, an sternly, “ I thought) ] the meeting-house, th the pedlar who passer dollar on me about tin was determined to ket Brother Jake has got; says if he ketches the ? neck for him, and 1 m the good-for-nothing : np An Erect Positioln.—A writer on health very justly con iejtnns the habit of lounging, in which n.l? rge number of per sons indulge, as injurious to health. He says:4—“An erect bodily attitude is of vastly more importance to health than is easily imagined. (Jrooted bodily positions maintained for any length pf time, are. ah ways injurious, whetl er in the sitting, standing, or lying posture, whether peep ing or waking. To sit with the body lean ing forward on the stomach or to one side, with the heels as high as the head,is cot only-in bad taste, but exceedingly detri mental to health. It cramps 1 the stomach, presses the vital organs, interrupts the free motion of the chest, and enfeebles the functions of the abdominal and thoratic organs, and, in fact, unbalances the whole muscular system.. When a person finds it easier to sit or stand, walk or sleep, in a crooked position! than t, straight onp, such a one may be sure his; muscular system is .badly deranged j and the more careful he is to preserve a straight or upright posi tion, and get back tp nature again, the better. ■. ■ '| Help Him.—A rich inan sent to call a physician for a slight disorder. The phy sician felt his pulse and said: . “Ho you eat well ?” \ “ Yea,” said the patient. ' , “ Do you sleep well V* ' “I do” - V-' “ Then,” i eaid the phyeiofcuj; give yojti something that will tite awaj aD that.” : [independent in evbbythinq.) in to my voice and and she hissed her leaving them still they had found. itment. 1 1 of a young fellow, Id into the village tided and gratified r of brilliant black ed upon his face, re possessor of the church alone, and ice, he ventured to bing with rapture, d, and fancied she ,t recognizing him. pace, and she ac as if to let him we will permit the ell the rest in his dure !” thought I; heart is superior to a stone’s throw of I ted, and turned her swelled to bursting, ire she stood. She took off my hat as . i angel. >[> . ... ; that is not my 1 ( ‘ : ’ n,”' continuedahe, i dyeing me very rhea I saw you in at you looked like . ion a pewter half ee Greeks ago, so I p an eye on you.— home how, and he eUpr, he’jl ring his u’i iure but you’re steal after all.” V .' I .. Bow it Happened. 4 Bring them up/ said the-magisterial functionary : 1 we U. settle matters/ Yes bring them up I Huddle the God forsaken mortals together! Arraign them —hear their abject prayers, and then— are them justice' tempered with mercy!' Certainly, who can doubt it. when all know that jiistice and mercy abound in the ad ministration of law to the wretched rabble. Oh, certainly! Bring them up. And they were brought up. The motley crew, one and all, gath erings as they were from that awful,set, -whose wretched street life, is happily, ex cept on such occasions as these, half-hid den from mortal ken and Christian com ment by generous night. Bring them up —and - in. they were brought. Blear eyed age, and, hardened youth with haggard faces, with bruised limbs, with hang-dog Walk, forms sweltering ver min haunted rags, that the damp of the cell walls had made heavy and slimy—men women, a boy and a girl, all were there. Bring them up—for the coach and two awaits at the curb, to convey them to the palace where crime holds its confined rev els—to Prison. Besides the weather is cold and blustery, and the van driver is impatient. So is his Honor, the Magis trate, and so are his officials, who .all reel bound to laugh when he laughs—frown when he frowns, and in every act prove their devotion .to the Great Dogberry. Bring them up. Hero we are. Who have we here ? ■, First, a shivering, trembling old man, whose feeble, shoeless feet have crossed the threshold of three-score. His dull and leaden gaze is fixed upon the Csesar who holds his destiny in the balance. — ‘Vagrancy'is the charge. His tattered clothing is spattered with mud and the reeking filth of the streets. Now there is a strange story connected with this old man—this vagrant. And so there is, too, with that wrinkled, ‘scared woman face that peers up from be hind him—a face which once seen, is pho tographed upon the spectator’s memory forever. Man and wife —this old couple—man and wife—nearly at the end of life’s pil grimage—standing within the shadow of the domain consecrated to Liberty—as Va grants. And this is the story- of the old. A story of him with a quivering lip, and a faltering tongue —'his dull leaden gaze, as he stands there, still fixed upon the Caesar to whom the wretched horde around yield such an abject looks for mercy, ‘lf you please sir, I had to lie down in the market house; indeed, sir, I couldn’t help it. Martha here, my wife, your Hon or, was with me, and we were just coming over from West Philadelphia, and —’ ‘We have no time to Us ten to long sto ry's,’ says the Caesar, imperatively. ‘ Where do you live ?’ ‘lf you would only let me tell you— ’ ‘No time for telling anything. Officer What is the charge?’ Officer smiling says:— ‘ Drunk—market house—asleep—old woman with him— both drunk and asleep.’ ‘ If your Honor pleases, I had just come over and was going—that was last night —going to try and find my son who la in the city and—’ ' ‘ What’s your name?’ interrupts Caesar. ‘ Thomas Eberlo is his name and Jane Eberle-is mine’ replied the old woman peering up. * Thomas Ebprle—that’s the name—my son is William Eberlc.’ . ‘ Where did you expect' to ? find your spin ?’ asked the Caesar with the Toice of a satisfied Nero. . ‘ Here—in the city of course/ - One word—or rather one from tlm offiper standing near, produced a scene seldom \ritnessecat aHearfng. Ttoit was, ‘Old Man if you Want to see your son, you’ll find him in Cherry HUI Prison. He' was! convicted hut session iof burglary and sent up for tba?ae yeara- ; ’■ my—my son—Will-no, no—it cannot he.’ ‘ Yes, it can be, and it is, tod/ < One stifled groin, one cry of hnguisli, apd tiio old man fell lifeless, upon the floor. The woman bent; over him, i The officer pulled her away. A 4 glance at the old man’s face, only one glance by all the crowd, and that look rested npon the deed. ' " ‘ Bring them up. The cry is changed. It is now out the dead.’ ’ t Justice and Mercy axe satisfied! the vagrant was a vagrant no vqnia Inquirer, [ ; John • Wesley, in a considerable party had maintained with great earnestr ness the doctrine vox Fopuli vox Dei , against his sister, whose talents were not unworthy * of the family to which she be longed. At last/ the preacher, to put an end to the controversy, put his argument in the'shape of a dictum, and said: ‘‘l tell you sister, the voice of the people is the voice of God/’ “yes,” she replied mildly, “it cried, crucify him I crucify him I 5 * A more admirable answer perhaps never was given A IlardStory. There is a doctor in the North-western part of Philadelphia who is especiaUy.re markable for being, as the women tem »t, < short and crusty. A week or two sinje he was called upon to visit a patient vfho was laboring under a severe attack of whiskey. • Well, doctor, Fm down you sec —com- pletely floored—Fve got the teemendtpus Delirium, you perceive/ 1 Tremens, you tbolj where'd you get rum?’ queried the doctor. ' j ‘All Over in spots?—broke out prqiUm* cuously, doctor/ 1 Served you right! Where’d. > you yot . mp you.. -i ‘ Father died of the same, disease; took hiafe under the short ribs and carried him offbodily,’ . . ... ‘ Well, you’ve got to take something im mediately < y ou’re a trump, doctor—here, wife,X U take a nip of ojd rye.’ . : : - ‘ Lie still blockhead. Mrs. 8., if yonr husband should get worse before I return, which will be in an hour, just give him a dose of that trunk strap j may be that will fetch him to a sense of his folly.’ i^ ]■■■ The doctor sailed put grandly, and wM|V in an hour sailed in again, and found.dus friend of the ‘ Delirum Tremendous ’ in a terrible condition, writing and struggling •with pain. His wife, a female of the plain but ignorant school came forward, and lay ing her hand upon the doctor’s arm skid: ‘ Doctor, I gave him the strap as you;di rected.’ . , ‘ Did you thrash him well V ; ‘ Thrash him!’ exclaimed the astonished woman; ‘no, but I cut the strap into hash and made him swallow it.’ ‘ Oh, Lord! doctor/ roared the ■victim. ‘ I swallowed the leather, hut —hut-r-/ ‘But what?’ ‘ I swallowed the strap, but I’m blowed if I could go the buckle !’ The doctor administered two btoad. pills and made his exit. Yes, young man, save it. Put it in a safe place, and add to it often. We refer to the half-dime you were about to expend for a cigar, or the dime you are on the point of exchanging for a “drink.” Get a stout box made, and whenever yoii fare tempted to spend your coin for a useless indulgence, drop it in the said box instead, and listen to its musical jingle. Ah 1 you have no idea how three cent bits and half dimes, and quarters count up. But' try this savings-bank for a year, and then count your coin, and you, will* learnl how much money you might have wasted. And not only wasted money, but time-~pre clous, priceless time, and formed habijis of idleness and dissipation which cling to 1 the' unfortunate possessor as the fabled poison ous shirt of Narcissus clings to hint Jwfio once put it on. Yes, save your money, young and spend your leisure jiours at home with your mother and sisters, hind occupy yourself with earnest, judicious study, and instead of being a hewer of Wood and a drawer of water for others in your declining days, you will stand a chance of taking rank with the great and . prosperous and honored ones of the 'efcrro. ‘ Governor Gilmer, of Geprgm/ so says a Georgian contributor, f had a> pas sion for buying old iron truck, bibken down wagons, and such rubbish, wliiph he had piled up in the yard, under thp; im pression that it would come into time or other. It annoyed his wife exces sively ; and one day, when the governor was away from home, she had the pile carted off to lt so happened that; just as the auctioneer had put up the lot, the governor was riding by, and buy he would, for as he looked at it, he declared that he had a lot at home in* which there was sever?! things to gnntch. He hid ten dollars’ and the whole tiling was knocked down to him. A few days afterwards he was admiring Mrs. Gilmer’s hew bonnet, and askinghfr its cost, she said ‘ ten dol lars, husband; the. same ten you paid for your bid iron, and ITyou don’t clear it out oftjheyard,! shall sell it again!’ The Governorshortly alter that, retired from the iron business/ sword of the' warrior was taken down to brighten!.| It bad not been out of use.; The rust was soon rubbed off, but there were spots that wohld not go; they blood. It was oh the table hear the pen of his Secretary. The pen took advantage of the first breath of air to move a tittle further off. ' s “Thou art right,” said the sword;, "I •am a'bad neighbor.” “I fear thee not,” replied the I am more powerful than thou art; but _I like hot thy society.” u I exterminate,” said the sword. . “A ad I perpetuateanswered the pen; “ where were thy victories if I recorded them not? Even where thou thyself shall, one day be~in Lake of Oblivion.” ‘‘ Mrs. Grimes, lend me your tub.” « Can’t dp it—all the hoops are ofiMt’s flail hf suds; besides never bad ooe—l washes in a batrot” • Save It. EDITORS AilD PROPRIETORS* .. ** Money well Spent. An industrious joiner, who earned mtsh_ money, used to content himself with, very . simple fare, clothed himself and family in a plain, and neat manner, and carelully avoided all superfluous expenses. < Where do you mon cy whieh you havener, SdSster Joiner V asked his neighbor,* turner. ' The joiner answered, ‘ I pay off some debts with part of the money, and part I nut out at interest.’ .• - # ; ■ | Ah!’ said the turner, i you are joking * You have neither debts to pay, hoir a .cap?' Uhl out at interest anywhere.’ • ’ % * Yes indeed, I have,’ said the joiner ; ‘lot me, only explain the thing to>you.— Observe, then; all the money which my good parents have laid out upon me sinoe the hour that I first .saw the light I con sider as my debt, which I must repay them, but the money which I lay out upon my chlldred, in order to get them a good education, I consider as my capital, which some day, when I am old they will repay me, together, with' the interest, As my parents spared no expenses to educate mp well, so ddo the same with my childred, and as I regard it as my filial duty to re pay^tho-kindness of iny parents, so I hopo r thatmy children also will repay me this same debt on theip part, as certainly as if. they had given me a deed to that effect, duly signed and sealed/ ‘ What patents for their clifadrca’a good out lay. ■ •' . Forms but a debt those children will repay.^ They Say.— We find the followihgbnr ning words of truth, having much load significance, tod, Just flow, in Mrs. Hehtc's ‘Ernest Lin wood/ They are bitibr; bide just: • j y h'y ‘They say! who are they? Who are the cowled monks, the hooded friars who glide with shrouded faces in the procession of life, muttering in an unknown tongue words of mysterious import I Who ate they I the midnight assassins of repnfa* tion who lurk in the by-lanes of society, with dagger tongues sharpened by inven tion and envenomed by malice, to draw the blood of innocence, and hyena-like banquet on the dead. Who aentbey ? They are a multitude no man cun nqmber, black-stbled familiars of the inquisition of slander, searching for victims in every city, town, and village, wherever the heart of humanity throbs, or the ashes ofmor tality fipd rest; Oh, coward world skul kers I Ope me the bold brigand, who thun ders along the highways with flashing weapon that cuts the sunbeams as well as the shades : give toe the pirate who unfurls the black flag, emblem of his terrible trade, and shows the plank which your doomed feet must tread; out save me from the they-sayors of society, whoso knives are hidden in a velvet sheath, whose bridge of death is woven in flowers: and who spread with invisible poison, even the spotless wUteness of the irinding-shiet/ Gubiocs Typographical Error.— Trench in his latest work on the English language, points pat a curious error in the 24th verso of the 23d chapter of Sti 9£at thewi. ‘ The words ( which strain at a gnait and swallow a. camel 1 the professor thinks contaip a' missprint, which having- been passed ever in the edition of 1641, has held its ground ever since. The transla tor intended to say “which strain out a gnat and swallow a camel,’ that being the correct reading of the original, as appears in Tondale’s and Granmer’s translations, both of which have ( strained out.’. It was the custom of the stricter Jews to strain their wine, vinegar, and other pota bles, through linen or gauze, lest una wares they should drink down some little unclean insect, as a gnat, and thus trans fress the Law. It was to this custom the aviour alluded, intending to say that the Scribes and Pharisees, while they strain out a gnat from their drink, would yet swallow a camel at a gulp. *An Excrtjtiating Joke.—lu the reign of Charles 11, it was customary* when a gentleman drank a lady's health, to throw some article of dress into the flames in her honor, and all his edmpan* ions were obliged to sacrifice a similar ar ticle, whatever it might be. One of Sir Charles Sedley’s friends perceiving that he wore a.very rich lace cravat, drank to the health of a certain lady, and threw his own cravat into the fire. Sir Charles fol lowed the example very good-naturedly, but said he would have his joke in return. Afterwards, when he dined with the sane party, he filled a bumper to some reigning beauty, and called on a dentist to extract a decayed tooth which had long pained him. Etiquette demanded that every one of the party should have a tooth extracted and thrown into the fire, to which they all yielded after many murmurs about the cruelty of the thing. . 4®““ Col. Fuller with hiausualurbani ty, took a well-known wit by the band, and said,— " . ‘Good morning, Mr.- , you are look ing jeiy well to-day,sir.’ 'Fbo'wit replied,- > *1 welly CJ&|c»nol, bat ISBl^ poeo yon t®Wfc b am ? beoadwj T ant ldo%- Ing r W **•’ *** VKv , *r. , . r *o^ All ♦ NO. 14 .