,'t*C * c r«*< Mb i lAfaro* the [ Or- Hnnory t > riiiwMjQi qf it moots ' originated,? • •fnrrfrg ,W -:nt qtu» can the disease rceiKtod a{| ‘>nt without "rbaUain. '■>i from tho ’'tftgfcs of I 1 to die by *i»g to the ■ care, a P*r orCojjjminjw should be a tic in scarbe i; r into the . 1 to core the vslem with joiflerer intb : cause death • is entailed ei'-titiiticoe, licit betrayal ul other. af .iiaUliiK op ■j:;n!.uclh«ca i months. 6 months. 1 year. Six lines or Imi, $l6O $3 00 $6OO One square, 2 60 4 00 7,00 Two “ . 4 00 6 00 J 10 00 Three« 6 00 8 00 ' 12 00 Font “ o oo lo oo u oo Half a oolnrmC 10 00 14 00 20 00 ' One column, * 14 00 26 00 40 00 Administrators and Executors Notices, 1 75 Merchants adrertising by the year, three squares, with liberty to lO 00 Professional or Business Cards,. not exceeding 6 Hass, with paper, per year, - Communications of a political character or individual In , Isrcetwljl be charged according to theytboTo rates. | Advertisements not marked with the number of insertions | dssind, will be continued till forbid and charged according i to the above terms. - [ Badness notices Sen cents pc: Una f.r every insertion. | Obituary notices exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square ■ ii.nlih, for out ilnming {fa of snfferinjt Venous sy£ i.-sown. M-ut of tbb : i > and jUt • ■•d in body ••.in of crifa (ullt -f cop l-Alnid* that In i with the L t "restored ■itoTlt Xftd- 1 -in the col- ' gj 1 lied by IliO 1 i>ui*onou* eurofnUy 1 • ••> an d Are i'-n ijEtem, 'jj| money re- i|| d, fraud* . of prac- I markable i.y part ot i.uni eating ic-ftHctly t. M. 1 U- rwtifih, l - oT-ly. | i -u^ewent a v.ith Fir- xsa : ruction i - m-cb by :r 11 ■ bitfien . all their apply I ■ occu t‘.« infchcrt ajiprOT* s-viej that Live been 1t voting, tl, renewed 'u Siyrma •inn, Mae Hext’.aJ in. sent by r-ceijit oi E R. CATr’ 1 i>. No. as. L i rector*. - I‘ntL kc, J-ly. i AtfD y mediclna' S pnvia and,- it' is for.. & cure all; 1 i.'y tocw* g t > diree* 8 . ; •. 8 i Tvlllbeae- : | :..• ntjicn©- j i m'vui inter . |i; ed in the .' y tj • cioTine g It hasbeofe •% t; 'r ill cur* ;K t it win » hiTeret 'ling Vi rrtnm '. ■ frifle *•■ . 14-tf, v OF i: >' erron» :■ :'cy, end ■li. may r • i« KsMl ‘"ilhteh- i mllyax* "I tocare. t yierely alrd ej»-- ..A.VKT, ji "Ipi • ’ASH ii . into cT: ■ Alteon# dopn la of K*. .'titK hie m Fkncy n.ctMat- *hort, he^n r-iawlj*- 111 urder». TE'.— \ mu lit la ' mugllfljtt;: <'rimlaN* id in KJliUlSatff ■ir name* £'*“ W f ' >.-♦ t-m ■•■ I ■!: CSt*. PRO THOSB ;i‘r aflieo .tLofthn ofotu :H-EK- i EX- N Ti* *ud ruuieUn- Truer- ■HR’ft;,: JOST. tribune McCRUM ft. ALLISON, VOL. 3. THE .ALTOONA TRIBUNE. SIoCSUM A ALLISON, Publishers and Proprietor:: Per s/mnm, (payablo invariably in advance,) fi.so j»pa« dUoontloned at the expiration of the time mys op AOTHtneoro. , 1 tawtloa 2 do. ,« do. Foot Unas or leM, $25 237 « i6O One square, (8 line*,) 60 lif* i«j Two “ 08 “ ) 100 160 200 Three “ (24 « ) 160 2 cio 260 Over three weeks and lan than three months, 25 cents per ajnsre Ibc each insertion. PROSPECTUS ALTOONA TRIBUNS THE CASH SYSTEM ADOPTED! The Cheapest Paper Id the County!' With the present number, the 7V;s«r.r has en tered upon its third volume. Commenced nt a time when the Confidence of the citizens of Al toona in newspapers and newspaper publishers was considerably shaken, if not totaily'annibila ted, it lit* slowly but surely restored that con fidence, and now stands upon a sure foundation, uad is universally acknowledged to be one of the fisod institutions of our town. But this re »uit has not been achieved without a hard strug gle, and considerable expenditure of time and moans on the part of its editors. The steady increase.of patronage, however, has afforded in dubitable evidence that their labors have been ap oiatod. ' In oatoring upon the new volume it is almost unnecessary to say that the TWiwac will coutin se to be 44 bu>EPENDja*T is Evkeythixo,” be ing biassed neither by fear, favor nor affection, in favor of parties or sects. In this respect it is only necessary to say that the past affords a fair index as to our future course. IfTtos always been our aim to make the Tri bune, a reliable firfct-cl3j«ff-^ 4 -g ■ or lit Select Uliscdlaim. Postponing a Goose. I took a passage in one of the packet s Lips that run between Mobile hnd New York. She was commanded by a sharp fellow, who was interested in making the trips as profitable as possible. As a gen eral thing, a meaner table was never pro vided in a cheap boarding-house. During the passage, we were becalmed' one day on a part of the coast which was excellent fishing ground; and the captain, with the view of saving a dollar or two’ ordered the. men to get put their fishing tackle and try their luck. This, was done and a quantity of the finny tribe were soon transferred from their aqueous abode to the deck of the ship. The captain enlarged upon the delicacy of the fish, and closing by asking, ‘ what say you to a fish dinner to-day, ladies and gentlemen V Every body said, by ail means 1’ I £ 00 Attached to the ship was a negro cook called Centaur. ‘ Centaur ?’ cried the captain 4 Aye, aye, sa !’ 1 (Jbok a ipess offish for the passengers’ dinner; and d’ye hear, postpone that goose?' 4 All right sa !’ Centaur seemed troubled, and scratch ed his wool rigorously. ‘ What de mean by cooking de fish an’ postponin’ do goose’’ I ben on several voyages, if not more —I ben in big hotels an’ little hotels, man an’ boy, for eber so long if no longer dan dal ; and dis is the fust time I eber heard ob postponin’ a goose ! Deres pick in’ g goose, an’ drawin’ a goose, and bakin’ a goose, an’ boilin’ a goose, but posfpon in’ a goose I didn’t belieb dat eben Mrs. Glass, do great cook dey talk ’bout beam ob it. It must ue done dough. Wonder if Jimmy X’ucka eber heard of ii? He knows everything. Just as Centaur concluded, Jimmy and two others of the crew passed the gallery door, and the bewildered cook anxiously inquired of the oracle if he knew how to ‘ postpone a goose?’ CDe case is dis, ye see. Cap’n says to me jia now, gay he,' 1 cook a large mess ob fish for de passengers dinner to-dav an’ postpone do goose.’ Now, dat is jis wat dis here nigger can’t git through his wool, no how, what postponin' a goose is I’ ‘ Oh " said Jimmy, winking at Jus com panions, 4 that is easy enough. 1 thought every tool knowed that.’ 4 ] thought so too.’ an’ so I say to my self. ‘Jimmy Ducks’ll know.’’ ‘Well, you .sue,’ said Jim my lucking serious; ‘it isn’t a common way of cook ing a goose, but ven it is served up after fish, at the nobility's dinners, they post pone it. Now, this is the mode:—After drawin' the bird.stuft' it with a mixture of ’yd boiled eggs, chopped fine, onioas, ditto; apples ditto; biscuit pounded into bits, and portions of a fish previou-ly browned on the fire. Then put the goose into the pot, boil it for ’alf an ’our, place it in the oven, and bake it for ’alf an 'our; then put it on your spit, roast it until done and serve it with grayv.’ Centaur listened with attention, and nothing Upon the tablet of his brain all Jimmy's directions, started for the gallery highly elated. Dinner time arrived, and Centaur won honors by the style in which he iefved the fish. Dish after dish appeared; and when every one supposed the meal to be concluded, another dish was placed be fore the captain, who upon removing the cover, to his indignation, discovered the goose 1 His wrath was not to be sup pressed, and in a passion, he shouted- 1 — ‘ Send that infernal cook aft.’ Centaur entered the cabin very good humoredly, having no suspicion of, any thing wrong, and was startled by, the question— : ‘ What do you mean, scoundrel, by dis obedience of orders ?’ ‘ Beycd orders, sa; done jest what you said, ‘Obeyed orders, you rascal? Didn't I tell you to postpone the goose V ‘ Course you did,' ga; and I did it.' ‘ Bid whut?’ shouted the captain. ‘ Postponed de goose, sa, cordin’ to di rections.' : v The passenger saw the joke, and into a laugh. The captain was somewhat mortified and requested lOcntaur to ex plain himself. , I. 1 JVell, sa,’ said he, ‘you ordered me to cook de fish and postpone de goose. blow, I nebher postponed in aB my Ufe, an’ on .course didn't know nothing 'bout it ; but Jimmy Backs ’lfghtbh me on de siibjick, mr.l -e»tcfly 1 iad trouhlocuoagb ; t don’t ma4% to jpbst pone anoder no how.’ | i Everybody laughed at Centaur's ©xpla imtion, and even the ca^tamstmied. v V. he |aid, .‘and #Bnd Jimmy iDuoks J * was off in a ; twinkUog r and mIw 8 curiosity as-tb thwncyr ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 29, 1858. he had given to the cook, forgiveness only being extended to |ijm on the condition that he should eat the whole of the goose. The punishment wag not very severe, for in fifteen minutes nothing but a skeleton remained of that goose. ‘ My heyes!' was 'his exclamation when he had completed the task; ‘if that’s a postponed goose, I vish the cap’n ud ’ave one postponed every .week. The dressin’ ’owsuever, might be Waried' so us to be a Jeetle more palatable.’ A Race witli a Widow. Merciful JcLosaphat and big onions, what a time I’ve had with that widder.— We chartered an Omnibus for two, on Christmas, and started. Widder, said I, where shall be go toi? She blushed, and said she didn’t like to say. I tyid her she must sav. • i ‘ Well Jehuel, if you insist upon it, and I am to have my choice, 1 bad rather go to church.' ‘ What for, widder V said I. ‘Oh, Jehuel how can you ask me V ‘Cause I want to know/ said 4. ‘ W ell—(blushing redder than beef) —• it is such cold weather now, and the nights are so cold, and —oh, Jehuel, I can t stand it!’ ‘Oh, pshaw, widder. spit it out; what do you mean V The widow riled. She biled right over like a quart of milk on the fire, aud burst out with — ‘lfyou can’t understand me you’re a heartless brute, so you are.’ ‘ Hold your horses!’ said I. ‘What’s all this about! I’m not a brute, nor never was: and if a man called me that I’d boot him! sure.’ Aud then I biled right over, and un buttoned my coat collar to keep me from bastin' oif my buttons. The widder saw I was going to explode, or else collapse my wind pipe, and she flung her arms round my neck, and put her lips to mine, aud cooled right down. ‘Jehuel, dear!’ said she, in an insinua tin’ way, and a voice as sweet as a hand organ, ‘Jehuel, honey I wanted to go to church to get mar—no I can’t say it all. you finish the word,'jehuel, sweet.’ ‘ What word, inarm V ‘Oh, you stupid jehuel dear. I mean the word married, love.’ ’ ‘Married widder! said I, did you mean that V ‘lndeed I did Jehuel, love I’ ’ ‘Look here inarm, my name isn’t Je huel Love. nor Jehuel Dear, nor Jehuel Sweet, I’d have you to know. And I won't get married to nobody but one. and you are not the she.' Oh, pewter pennies, but didn’t she rave ? She made one; dash at me,- L dodg ed, and she went butt up against the up per end of the omnibus. Crash went her no mb, and smash went that bran new bonnet that I didn’t buy for her, and down she wont with-Her face in the straw. But in a moment .she rose again, and made one more dash;at me, I dropped— she went over-me and butted the door of the omnibus, and out she went —her •jai ler boots higher thu ; n her head as "she struck the pavement. ‘Drive on I’ I yelled to the driver. ‘ Woman overboard !’ cried a passing sailor. ‘ 1 bfyip that W hite Coat —breach of prom ise—reward—ilerald—publisb,’ shrieked the widder in tone ofiiuortal agony, while tears of blood streamed from hlPbeautiful pug UOtC. ; ‘Drive on! drive on’’ I shouted. ‘ \\ here to ?’ asked Jhc driver. ‘ J’o the devil—to Harlem —to Macomb’s Dam—anywhere, so we escape matrimony and the widder.' ‘He started, so did the widder, and then we had it up the avenue, the buss having the start of about a hundred .yards. .Foot to foot and widder gained. Thinks 1, Jehuel, you are a goner, I thought it best to lighten ship. jSo first I hove over board the straw, Stijjl she gained qh me. Then overboard wciitl the cushions. But still she gained. ; ‘ More steam drivei) I yelled. ‘We are going fas lows now/ he answefe an hour.’ J Jehoaaphat, how fj hove off her bonnet ‘ oyer hand. A thougi I off with my whiti right down in her pai it like a she panther, Oh, how they flew;; ;i but life is Streeter tl tailbr is making tdc h gained full two hundi came again. Once in green' in her eyess-—M felt - ■ - ■ . U ‘-Driver,’ said I, kill them horses or get another pile out of them.’ ‘ Will you nay for ’fern ?’ he said. " ‘Yes, yes/said I* -aa difct from » modenj ladyf ; dl&efonp iohocpa in time of battle, .ia |S£|l!sj..,, . - P*wr V -1 - - s&im m. Mi m 13. ■* -K