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r oTcloptni'tit oftip»,
■I iv. Inirdnris, and all"
i-rcr « rooked In bod/.
nrnl :i train of ETlfir
With tflv fullcfctootK-'
,;u- of Self-Abo** that
•p.-rbil. and With tM*'
aitKcsin U-n-Bton^
U j.. if Patent Wert* -
oi.- Huari's.in tUv col
;!"• unwary »«(•'
i.tlons ruined by the
■.; i■■ unii; poiAononir
t- " J bare carefully
i! Medicine* and find
ci ••>. Sublimate, which
j .. rcur_i and a
Jir.-j.e disable* th*
' now in uao arc pat
whr'iio nut an-
' ■ ■ ‘ xttdicc, and aw
■'
c.akomoaeyrw;
nif.lc* and .female*
.< •my jwu3,of |irao>
• •■■■ most rvutarkabta
io udjt partet
;.i- voaiLounicatlnn
r • ■-].vL>i(Dc.catr^rtiy-
IiVILLT, M. D
m>< ik'.oxc r*#ih,
J-Jv 2S, '57-ly.
ion.- riiiL-
’ ajTrrted icUit hr-
• inch os Axis
(7'.r.i,rr/.aa, M«<,
."•, <fr„ rf*-.
; ■ awful -butructtan
-,.a»nl the(lereptionil
■ -.-r eurh iliwjMen by
■ : lunlUnfcSurKfXMi,
tv i.jrf'ii c. Di*p»n
-,-a««k, In all UiaU
t.. all wlui apply
i .-.liitlUll. lagc, oce«-
■- uf vxtrrmn poverty
7- r,f rf, urge. It U
■' the lilglitift
nib tL« in.j-Tt.aj'proT-
f <-i ftJ-suK'd that
•■Si.'t. hftTfbgqi.,
i i.i;’} ty t h» yooßßi'-
K ;vv. vtilh rv&eWOyt
<1 CUD". t,
a.-j.-rt on Sperm* .
-- -jf Ouimlxm, Hq :
of the Sexual...
f.i-li will be «ciit by
~i' ud the receipt of
■r. OEOROE H. CAL-
Air .l ii.tiun, So. 2 i.
r-i. -1-f tb« lUrottoT*.
11’. 1 WELL, frtft.
[Dec. 3-Xy.
MERS AND
■ !* th- oulympdldn*
i.ti-m*-, £p«tlyt ud
itTiicut, m lit la
t .-.t It will core <iu
■irto.tiulonly Ipcnm
■ "coniing to dlr»c
--I'neaM-n ufpneUtly
which willbrnfc-
T: ‘ii Ointinentponß
' rt ; L*k c»11ou< into
i In the
i i -fabout removUtgf
■<> It hoi been
a- -it. tlmt it will cur*
I w-.vi-r, that It will
n i borse, wherever
"•> k. acconllng to
7-fiicacy, retnru
tb«- im/uny. ; Prtee
[Jan. U-tf,
IMI TIES Otf
I'lit/-
mm,
msEW
■ rul and XervpUa
i Im]oteiicy,aad
' M. D.
1 1 i'iihf (omiilnittte, 1
of rouih,-jai6r {
i''*'- in tlila imolt'
i - ’> ih m and hjgb
. ■ Autiii.r, fuUyci-'
r.- ij to eurb!
- --iMc ccet, thereby i
l ill.- day. y
! fn-e in a r.‘nlcd et>-1
■ t- I'r. HZ LANKY,
[Out. 1 ’57-lyv ‘
:KR FASH
-1 ■ nit Tailor, Jibe of'
iilz<-nH of AltOOHa i
■ iiiltling two door*
■ior-r South of WU :
i- now receiving
GOODS. " .
riain and T*atf\
li.. ?utin Velvet Jtof»:
V-itine», tfi ahprt.
i* f which heVriU
n Uic m-iat reaaouac^
UiinJts, will OU**i
"Hh their ordna. j
- AZKTTEp-r
->' i Crimflud^hr'lS"
' niittcd tliroaO^mti
• f Triajii, Criminal
<■ !nf,t<igolh*#*f|»
:■> it found tyi UCfA
i «-ntetheirnamM,
I’llfeeCiacetfe, *
■>>ic York City.
UEST PRO
AOAIXST THOK>
■*i w t and other aflep
*>.ul change* ofooi
•' iv. kelklbb: ‘
•X FOR fifc
M ilts, axis; tai
ary clmaßjatM*-
i W. KBSBlgft.
ITERS, toefaj
“ ': L
: —■—•' r •fr-« ~ '
McORUM & ALLISON,
< -. ■ ■ '
VOt. 8.
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
McCRUUA AhtlSON’ : Publishers and Proprietor*.
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AH paj ten dUcontlnuod at the expiration of the time
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Over three week* and leea than three month*, 26oenU per
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fllxjlneegrleee,
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PROSPECTUS
ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
. OP ODD?
THE CASH SYSTEM ADOPTED I
The Cheapest Paper in the County!
Wlth the present dumber, the Tribune ha# en
tered upqa ita third relume. Commenced at a
time when the confidence of the citizens of Al
toona in newspapers and newspaper publishers
was considerably shaken, if not totally annihila
ted, it has slowly but surely restored that con
.fidence, and now stands upon a aurefunndation,
-and is universally acknowledged to be one of
the fixed institutions of our town. But this re
sult has not been achieved without a hard strug
gl«, and considerable expenditure of time and
means on the part 'of ita editors. The steady
Increase of patronage, however, has afforded in
dubitable evidence that their labors have been ap
-1 -Mated. ! >
In entering upon thp new volume it la almost
Unnecessary to say that.tbftFViAiwewill contin
«» to be ‘‘IXDEPKJTDESX 0J EVERTTHIKO,” be
ing biassed neither by fear, favor nor affection,
in favor of parties or sects. I In this respect it
is only necessary to say that the past affords a
fair index os to our future course.
It has always been our aim to make the Tri
bune, a. reliable first-class Local Paper, as we
'believe that in that character alone, country pa
pers can successfully compete- with their flashy
«ity neighbors. To- this\ end we have secured
correspondents in various parts of the county,
who furnish us with all the items of local inter
est ia their vicinity. Wo purpose adding others
to out list as soon as we can obtain them. Du
ring the next year we shall redouble our efforts
to make the Tribune a perfect compendium of
Hoxe Sews—a reliable, first class Local
Paper, second to none in the country, and ns
such a welcome weekly visitor to our patrons,
Whether at homo or abroad.
But while the Local Department shall be our
■pedal care, wo shall also demote a considera
ble space to Literary Matter, Fps and Hl
ycca, and the chronicling of events of general
interest to our readers. We purpose also pub
lishing from time to time “ Original Sketches of
Men and 'Things ” which will bp furnished by
our contributors.' .We have made arrangements
also to have a weekly letter from Philadelphia,
and judging from the reputation pur correspon
dent sustains as a popular writer, these letters
will be a rich treat to our, readers.
As we are decidedly jdarualists of the pro
gressive school, we have concluded to adopt the
cash system in our -business. The npglect of
quite a number of our patrons.to pay up prompt
ly, and the rascality of jothers, hits compelled
iu to adopt this coarse. Time and experience
kos fully proved to oar satisfaction that the
credit system will not work with Newspaper
pablUbers. ' From this date, no paper will be
■ sent.ffom this office* unless paid, for in advance,
|uifl,‘at Al)e .ezphration of the -time paid for, if
not will -be promptly stopped. i-SWs
E r ? h 8 of
wooßets --sodandreis, andenabled at tor devote
ttyj »
bwpatisfootory should befraught withmutaal
benefit to both parUes r and ,tta; ; money
aniounte, in advhnce, is of more
when ’ received in dribletsi as an ' induce-
■WS& to .numbers -jirlw-
ipt
~®<»®aing'ycar:. .. , ;h .>-\ ;,.;■
)■ ‘V ! JRI fiQ ’
I J.J&rtt*... **• 12*0 V
:****•» *N#j^r.^»e'
Ofticr. • •• - - ■ ‘ ‘ * '
is;.mjiii«i^|js:^fi :
■ a? : ;^«-
«ide. .' We earnestlyreqaestourfriendstlubagh
oul the coualy to ‘/giro os~a lift,” as wejiavo
?o doubt each of cau readily; obtain aclub
taihojr neighborhood. ■ ~; , ,^\.,-. .',.' ; \ /
Jfi&t??*** VAPtfiP*—Several ha
41hwed. > *
. »■* \
3 month*. - 6 month*. 1 year.
|1 60 |3 00 s>6 00
or THE
K isr-:&i
Jlflctf Ipistflteg.
A TALE OF THE REVOLUTION
‘ Father, is there no hope for him ? Is
the British General so heartless as to con
demn one so noble, so brave, so young to
die without mercy ?’
These words were used by a pale, tear
ful girl of great beauty, in the middle por
tion of the Revolution which gave free
dom! a home in our own loved soil. Du
ring that period when cruelty was but too
prevalent with both parties—when tones,
wer<f if possible, more relentless and cruel
than the British troops.
ihe • father, a noble looking man of
middle age, turned a glance out of the
window which opened toward Long Island
Soupd, the x green waters of which could
be seen sparkling beyond a grove that
fronted his dwelling near Hurl Gate.—
He had turned to this to hide his emo
tions, for she was his only child, and he
feared that her young heart would break
when he told her all the sad news that lay
so heavily on his heart.
‘Speak, father, tell me, is there no hope ? I
I will go myself, and kneeling to the ty
rant, will plead for the life of him whom
I love as only woman can love!’ she oon r
tinned.
‘ Alas, my child, mercy is dead in the
British General’s breast—his heart is cal-
Ipus ito pity I I have risked much by
pleading for him, but for .your sake I,
would be almost willing to die in Nathan s
place.’
6 00
, ‘ Cruel, cruel fate ! when is he to die !
[There may be some hope of his rescue.—
He was a great favorite with Washington,
and he is at white Flaius. X will go to
him.’
f Alas,, my child,’ said her father, ‘ nerve
yourself for the news. It is already too
late.’
‘ Head, dead V shrieked the poor girl,
‘ 0 father say that is not so 1’
‘Alas my child, I cannot. He was
iumg at sunrise, And was even refused a
bible to look at, ere he was summoned be
fore his, Maker.’
For a moment the poor girl stood si
lent; not a’ tear came from her eyes ; but
a wild light illuminated them ; .a flash as
bright as fire itself gathered over both
face and brow—she clenched her fair
hands together until the nails seemed to
enter the flesh, and with bitter tones she
cried:
‘ Life for life ! Ijshall be revenged—yes
deeply revenged!’
‘ Child, dear child, be calm/ said the
fond parent. %
‘ Father, lam calm/ very calm. Calm
as he is almost. And I swear he shall be
revenged, if my own hand? have to reach
the tyrant’s heart, that sealed his doom !
I loved, oh ! how I loved wore
notour betrothal vows plighted? I will
act as a widow—as the widow of a soldier
ought to act/
‘Mv dear child, you will bring ruin
upon; our heads/
‘Not upon yours, father; but tome,
what is ruin now? But I will not he rash,
I will go to my room, and ,p'ray and think
of him who now lifts cold in death.’
She turned and left the Worn, while the
father still stood looking from the window'
! out upon the waters, which were dashed
with ja rising storm, and the trees, which
began to krithe .beneath the force
of the rising gale like some huge giant
wrestling with Some un foreseen power.
while his daughter had gone up
to her room in Pile the most cheerful
gables of the .did fashioned house; and
forgetting to pray in the mad tumult pt
her wrung heart—was also gazing out
, upon the storm which was not wilder than
the tumult in her, own heart.
From per elevated position she could
look over the tree tops and serried clouds
as, like a battling host marshalled to the
charge, sulphurous flames and smoke
athwart the sky.—
She could See the eddying of-Hurl Gate,
fossWgj tli^
88 In .the air—the break ers
tumbling hlack J rooks, as if
diawS
Suddenly. #ou9d of : a. ptmnofl was
§and, as she looked np the sound,
r that a'.shlpVof war -had hove to
riie A ■
and thg bated, .cjrpss of §t. Oeorgg flew
from the spimlcer gatf. ;
w f l(i y eH of fierce the
aurgirl bounded from the room.
* I4fe for life!~Nathahiel
revenged J’ ' 1 r
iras ier. idea f. .' Within another
I S 1 was '|^...,<S^l9g- !
i^°“ 1 ® r > w|»o bid long since been laid no
cUar thor sod; ind to tEia room she fled,and
soon in a 0 f clothing sttch
ypojig .men generally wear when
J i oa ?°S expedition. With
out the least hesitation* she cut the ling
MWIM'&m 1
eighteen, not mow thatt
hitf flaring made theee «hge.
lilfe for JLlfe.
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 22, 1858.
Aleuts with a: rapidity which only desper
ate resolve could cause, she instantly left 1
the house, passing jdown the avenue be
fore her father’s ey£s, ho.apparently little
thinking that the spruce young water
man who chose to breast such a storm,
was his accomplished daughter.
Hurrying down to a boat house which
fronted the avenue, she loosened one of
those small, light skiffs which are still the
models of the pilots at Hurl Gate, hoisted
a small sail, and in a few moments was
out upon the hood tides as freely and bold
ly as if she had been in a stout ship, in
stead of so frail and small a boat. It is no
new thing for her to be upon the water,
being reared so near it, and hundreds of
times bad she been dashing over those
waves, but never in such a gale as that.—
Yet cooly she steered her tiny cruft, avoid
ing the dangerous whirlpools and rocks,
and beading towards the frigate, which,
impatient for a pilot, had fired another gun!
Within less than twenty minutes from
the time she‘started, she had luffed along
side of the man-of-war, having caught the
line east out to her, and fastened the boat,
Ipid mounted the vessel’s side, and stood
upon the quarter deck, in the presence of
the commander.
‘ Are you a pilot ?’ said the latter impa
tiently.
‘ I am, sir,’ was the .reply.
‘ Young for such business. Could you
take us through the Hurl Gate.’
; As well as ;my father, who has been a
pilot here more than thirty years,’ was the
reply ;
‘ >A hy did he not come out instead of
sending a boy like you in a blow as fresh
as this. ?’ •
* Because he is laid up with the rheu
matism, sir. and theu he knows that I Can
pilot you through as well as he can. Sir
Henry Clinton knows me sir.’
‘ Ah docs he —well that is all right.—
Can you bear away yet ?’
4 No sir, not within an hour—till the
tide runs ebb V
4 That is bad ; this gale keeps rising.—
Is there no anchorage hereabouts V '■
4 No sir not within twenty miles, where
your anchor would hold.’
4 Then we pmst go through !’
4 Yes sir, as Soon as the .tide comes. I
would not risk-it till then, for if the cur
rent should catch you on either side bow,
you’d go 1 on the rock, sure !’
4 lhat is true } r oung man. Let me know
the very earliest moment we can go
through.’ ' e
4 Aye, aye, sir.’
And while the British commander turn
ed of to speak to one of his officers, the
patriot pilot cjajmly went to the main gano - -
way, and looked over the side, as if watch
ing for the change of tide.
But what was passing in her heart theu ?
There werp between three and four
hundred souls in that fated vessel. She
had lost the only loved thing, besides her
father, on the 1 earth, when'Nathan Hale
was hung as a spy that morning. She was
not thinking hpw many hearts would be
broken by her intended act; she was not
thinking of the mothers, and sisters, and
wives in Knglarid ddio would soon mourn
fur the deed—she was only thinkjhg that
soon she would join him in the spirit land,
and that dearly would his loss be avenged.
For her own Jifc she cared not, thought
not—not even did she think of that wor
shipping father, who sadly paced his room,
believing that she was praying for-patience
to bear net 1 loss.
Meantime, there were those three or
four hundred hearts beating with glad
ness that they bad got over a long and
sickening yoyage and soon would be anch
ored in front of the sheen of greet?, ©veil
though the storm hovered ever them.
At last, looking towards the hOme'inj
whicj? she Ayas| born, she knew it would;
be bor last lopk, she turned and went to,
the commander and said, \
‘ The tide is slack, it changes suddenly,
and' ye intend to fill away at once.
The cmhman'der gave the necessary or
der to liis lieutenant, and the next mo
ment the main , topsail, whieh had been laid
back, was braced around, the head seats
eased awjiy, ufldThe vessel headed for the
narrow channel, where a thousand crafts
have ere thm laid their oaken bones.
As thev the channel and
whirling eddies,
hand, the , and crew looked out upon
the danger. ? so calm and fear!?
jfclrochs, tlft,
S r S^ e^<,ash^gu 'e
.jfhjer and crew looked pm>
aangen r jßut so cairn and fearless
seemed the ;gpang pilot, that re-assurance
ifSiMMtjS heart—^oclnarabpve
voi?e as
. TKey than hajf through.—
‘hdg’s baqk’ had beep. M&Jh
a few hundred iiaijbionis ujqre and they
would he etfe from danger Then one
quick gianeeitowurds heaven, and the dia
gaisedgiflicrltidoat:
< Pos, port, hard V
6be The vessel
medof heforfithe wind, &dflow(wirifth
accunmlated speed for a mdment widihep
ym m mx? 1 With a
teUsp|i?;&uahling
hejr reeling tothedeok, she urinn
a ferifp htiar the perpendicular sfior<j
[INDEPENDENT IN EVERYTHING.]
i.’
- *• 1
to the right. Then, amid the rush of wa
ters, the curses of officers, and the shouts
of frightened men, was heard the shrill
cry—
‘ If any of you survive this wreck, go tell
your British General that Nathan Hale, is
AVENGED, and that by a Woman .too! —
Sink ! and may my curses go with you all!’
And before any could have reached her,
had they wished it, she leaped into the ed
dying tide, and ere she sank, the proud
frigate, with its shivered spars aud sails,
its flag still flying, and its crew of stout
men, was going down into the cold, dark
waters, and the murdered Nathan Hale
was avenged!
And thus this brief sketch is closed. —
The guns of the sunken frigate rest be
neath the tide of Hurl Gate; but the mem
ory of the Patriot Pilot lives in more than
one breast yet.
11c Old and tben lie Didn’t.
Mr. James Johannes Smith was a man
of a somewhat equivocal stamp, oral least
everybody said so, and that makes it true.
Yet he was an accommodating neighbor,
and went to meeting Sundays, and had
been known to tell his experience, the
wickedness of which drew many L sigh
and groan from the pious old deacons. —
He used to drop a dime regular into the
contribution box, and sometimes a quar
ter, but then that wasn’t all. He was said
to be guilty of paying more attention to a
couple of sparkling black eyes, than to the
devout teachings of the minister, and the
deep sigh which now and then escaped his
breast, was not exactly of a go-to-meeting
character. Kate Hopkins had the above
alluded to eycb. Jiow i batesuch eyes,)and
hud a good bringing up, but they were a
little too mischievous and black for the
welfare of her heart. She hoarded at
James’ house. ( James was a married man )
She, too, went to meeting regular, hut was
particular fond of going evenings. Mrs.
Smith staid at home theu, and took charge
of three or four little curly-headed children.
Mrs. Smith began to think (though she
didn’t say anything about it) that her hus
band was getting pious rather too fast, or
that the minister preached better sermons
in the evening than he didin the day time.
Mrs. Smith was an observing woman, and
had noticed that James and Kate would
come home slower than the rest of the con
gregation, and some other little things she
•lid not think best to say anything about,
i did not say that Mrs. Smith was a jeal
ous woman, but she certainly had some
very strange freaks. One Sunday evening,
just before meeting was out, she thought
she would while away a few minutes ! just
to kill time, by sitting under a grape vine
by the gate. It was a warm night—the
moon, too small to stay up late, hail disap
peared entirely. Presently, the soft foot
steps were heard, the steady, ■ measured
tread of old men with thick boots, and
young men with their best new calfskins,
and the stamping of still smaller ones,
which made such araekei she liked to have
run, but she didn't.
It was soon still, however, and no one
had disturbed the gate! She could not
have been mistaken in this, for she was
close by it, and it never opened without a
long grating or growling noise, as though
it hated to be disturbed. Uark ! the care
ful step of a man approaches and the pat
ting of a little gaiter bootfallssoftlyouthe
night air ? It nears, though slowly, and
the quick hearing ears of Mis. Smith caught
something like the sound of muffled whis
pers. They came nearer, and finally stop
ped. Mrs. Smith held her breath, while
Mr. Smith turned his hack towards her,
against the fence, and
K&tej&idid&tfy as she could see, leading
parHaify on him; Oh that her
been deof,
had not been susceptible of such agitation.
Was she in her right mind, or had some
wild fancy taken possession of her thoughts?
She was not crazy, and* her ears could hot
well misunderstand at reaching distance.
Smith spoke first after a moment's pause:
‘ There is but one thing loft for us to
do/
‘ And that,’ softly whispered his com
panion, clinging closely to himall the while.
:t Fly, fly with me —Neatest, away from
tjiis unhappy spot,"whore I pan pour out
my love at your feet, iahd forever task in
the sunshine qf your charms. . the world
will be nought to me unless I can clasp
yqu to my heart, and tot feel the pleas
ure to he momentary and fleeting. ,
i ‘ I am yours forever/ sighed Rate} leant
ing her head upon his shoulder— ‘ and
whatever he your wishes, I will only be tod'
hippy in obeying them.’
‘To-morrow night, then ,* answered James,
‘ you will meet me at the foot of the lane,
at ten o'clock, where I will haven carriage
tA readiness, and ere fhe morning dawns
upon us, jye wfll bt( out of the reach of
harm pc danger frpjn Nancy, and. I'shall
not care for any one else/ ; a
, ‘I wiU be there at the hnnr,’ said Kate,
leaaSng her opp his shoulder * fiid
howJwe innst g9]g lUhe:nn
easy/ (
upturned lips. As : Smith turned round
he thought he ssw something? flash.
The old gate swung on its rusty hinges,
and the lovers took the path leading to the
'back door. Mrs. Smith heard this last,
charge to Kate, to oe punctual to the hour,
and run hastily to the front door and by
the time they had gained the back door,
j she was comfortably rocking, in her arm
j chair as unconcerned as if nothing had
happened.
That night Smith dreamed lovely dreams,
how he would fly with the idol of his af
fections, and evade the search of those
whose revengeful dispositions would tempt
them to follow ; but Mrs. S. dreamed bow
he wouldn’t, and how much he would re
pent of ever having ventured upon so haz
ardous an experiment; andhbw liable hu
man hopes were to blast, and the fondest
dreams to vanish in thin air. But how to
frustrate his plans was the question. She
didn’t sleep when she dreamed, but she
decided upon a plan of action; and then
dropped herself in the arms of Morpheus.
She arose early, prepared a good break
fast, and expressed herself quite uneasy
about Smith’s health, as his appetite seemed
so very poor, and bad been getting so for
some time past. Smith tried to be good
that day, and bad not Nancy been, in his
secret, she would have takenhis attentions
for genuine love. Smith infbrined Nancy.
at dinner that he had some argent busi
ness on hand, and that he should not prob
ably be at borne to supper. Mrs. Smith
was sorry but couldn’t help it.
Night came, and so did ten o’clock, which
time found Smith at the foot ctf the lane.
A female form, closely enveloped, sprang
into his carriage, and Smith embracing her,,
drove as fast as his horse could carry them.
On, on they drove, clinging to each other
in all the tenderness ofaffectionj he snatch
ing a kiss every now and then from the
nectar lips which only spoke in sighing
whispers.
Smith declared it the happiest moment
in his life: and she only answered his lov
ing protestations with a warmer embrace.
Smith longed for the light once, more,
that he might look into her love-beaming
eyes, and read the tender thoughts she
could not speak. Light did oome at last,
and when the faintest streak of crimson
tinged the eastern hills with a mellow light,
Smith sought once more to feast hqs eyes
upon those sparkling orbs which captiva
ted him at the meetings. He took hold
of her dimpled chin and turned her face
lovingly up to his, and, O horrors ! Nan
cy was looking him right in the face I
Smith jumped a foot off the seat, dropped
the lines, which Nancy caught ; he tried
to say something, but bis tongue clove to
the roof of bis mouth. Nancy roguishly
smiled and said:
‘ Look iiito my loving eyes; Jim; but
Jim wouldn’t do it, although she declared
it to be the happiest moment in her life.
‘ James,’ said she, ‘ doyouseethat house
yonder ? that is mine, and if you
objections, we will spend the first night
there.’
Nancy, it seems, while Smith was beside
himself with delight because of the tri
umph of his new born love, had silly turned
the horse on a different road in the right
direction to reach her home again about
daylight. I never could learn from Mrs.
Smith what Jim said when he did speak,
but she says he is the best man she ever
saw. But Nancy did tell one wrong story;
she came home from a call just before it
was time for Kate to start off with Smith,
crying with tears in her eyes thatherhus
band had got thrown from his jfuggy and
nearly killed, and that she must go and
take care of him. That was the reason
why Kate didn’t go at the time-appointed;
and Naney had no difficulty in presenting
herself at the rendezvous agreed npdp.and
fiad the happiness of eloping willf biff owh
husband. :
A Shout Sermon and a Hood One.
—The Ilcv. Dr. B- - . of Ehlkdel
pbia, is noted for brief sententious sayr
ings in the pulpit and out'ofit. As he
was coming down Chesfntit street the
other day a gentleman . asked him .“ Sir;
can you tell me bow to find, Shenffi s
office?” “ Yes-sir,” was the reply, “Jjjy
cry time you make five dollars spend ten I’*
Saying this the Doctor walked f n, leaving
the questioner gaping upo n sidewalk
He a stranger,, who.nad;cbine to town
on business, and asked for information;
but the more he pondered, the niore he
was chpvipced ihat his
had answered him wisely! '■' ] ■'}l';. \ ‘ ; '
, Foundee ;n HQEBE».-->Taie a.table
spdohfool of' alutril: pull ;the
horse’s tongue out of hiamt>uth 'w as
possible, and throw the alum- ’ down his
‘throat. Let go of his tongue, and hold
h|> hi& tail tilfho swallhws: In six hours
tiroe, .no liow had tho founder—he
win be fit for mbaerate service. : I
seen this remedy tested so often, with per
fect successi that I would not make five
doilars ditterence in a horse foundered—
if done o?o that was not.
■ Barrafn." ’'
.vifijrl loye the silent pf the
night, is the W&nhe jibbed
the Jewelry shop. • '
i: *
EDITORS AND PROPIdistOBS..
Aiie€det«Sorsi<ui)plNVtfiil
The system of canvassing and‘election
earing as it is carried (ft in'
affords much thati is. amusing as Well m
instructive. We and S rich joke, said t 6
have occhrirod in. a canvass in; Tennessee,
between the Hoff. [ Caw Johnson and Ma
jor Qustavus A. Henry. As the story
runs, Major H., in reply to an aHnsion of
his opponent: as toj hi»| manner ofshaking
hands, said: j ir. . ' . '
“ I will toil you a little raecdote ilium
trative of the peculiar electioneering ah&
ities df my honorable friend in' h» inter- v
course with our intelligent constituents.
We were canvassing in a remote part of
the district, and having an appointment
to speak 1 near the house of a very influen
tial Squire, we spent the previous night
at hia house lt was well knoirid
that the Squire controlled all the votes iu
that precinct, and that his better half con*
trolled him, so thajt it was all important to
get on the right side of her. . We h*4
agreed not to electioneer with thtf Squire
while we staid with him; but I did not
think this forbade.me to do my bpst with
his family. So 1 rose about dayh.reakthe
next morning, and, thinking that I should
make frienda with the mistress ofthehqusd
by bringing water id cook the breakfast,!
took a bucket and started off for the spring*
I was tripping off on a light fan taatxc toe,
ringing merrily as I went, along, whoa
what on earth should I see, as T looked
into the barnyard, but - the old jrsmttt
milking the cow, while my honorable friend,
with his face ruddy with morning
cise, and his long locks streaming in the
breeze, was holding the cowby the tail I
I Saw in an instant that he had tike start
of me. I returned to the house disaosaffU
ted, and abandoned aQ hope -ftf S votoifr
that region.”
Anecdote of Havelock.
Daring his stay in England, the nan*!
tor Vent one evening to the houses of the*
colonel, in compliance with an invitt^Ott. ;
In the coarse of conversation, Mxs.Have<i
lock turned suddenly round to her has*
bwd, anduaid, ‘By the;
where is Harry ?’ referring to hfr non,
whom she had not seen during thowhole
afternoon. The colonel started to his fret.
‘ 'Well, poor fellow, he’s standing on Xibn>
don bridge, and in this cold, tod* I|old
him to trait for me there at 12 o'clock to*.
day j afid in the pressure of business a£
-rr: —, I quite forgot the appointment.'
The father and son wertT to have met at
twelve at noon, and it was now after sev*
en o’clock in the evening. Yet the father
seemed to have no doubt that Harry Would
hot move from his post until he appeared.
The colonel at once rose, ordered a cab to
be called, and, as he went forth to deliver 1
his soh from his weary watch on London
bridge, he turned to excuse himself to '
his visitor, saying, < You see, sir, that's the
discipline of a soldier's family !’ In the
course of an hour, the colonel returned
with poor Harry, who, although he appear*
ed somewhat affected by the cold watch,
and glad to see the fire in the comforta
ble parlor at home, seemed to have.passed,
through the little, afternoon’s experience
with the greatest good-humor, apd the
feeling that all was rightj 1 "
Candor and Courtesy.-— -Whens Jtfja.
Porter to many Dr.
she told him, with the- greatestTrankhSßh,
that she had once an ancle who' washang*
ed. . The doctor, with equal candor and
courtesy, replied that it was perfectly im
material to him ; for, though he nd
ufacle hanged, many ofhia relatifes
ved hanging* - ‘ ‘
Old Mrs. Darnly is a pattern of
household economy. She shn Aft iu
mte a Mir lof socks last
°J. 9“ly kfl»t#g new feet' to them .era?
Winter aha new legs tbthem everv otHer
winter. ' "I-. ;; " '* ’’•» *' •
wbjlikepopulationthej juiv^wt l
' Intne Directory ajmca».
aqme|jcjasje
Measw. , Canowi, Pistpl, FbafPr
SKut<?e, BiOKU,; Siot; Huakett anait."
Tmory.- *;■• ; .•■-■•
lt was remarked in the hearings ol
f igitf <£- thirteen, that 'MT<lfcif|gfc
paine by. chance, and the world, like
mushroom, sprang up in a night ■ tl
should like tq know, .sir/ asked the phyld,
* where the seed came from?'
«er Every wooden leg that-takes that
place -of a leg lost in battle, la a sltMDj;
speech against war. " /I
*au'Politiciana make fools of .thqm*
selves', pettifoggers \hike foo& df
and pretty girls hiake foobof both. '
An Irish paper, describing -a lata
says that one of the combatants
through the fleshy part of the thigfe jfefft
:• • J jrrtl J ■■
•Sr* What did the say-
Ark * U
•d
m
m
&& I*
r - ’ y ;
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I *. -