it cao»,ii v
uru'cM*. ,
n Ai wsm is
i-"-
Ut* sf-tt* *:...,
C OtW 1
fit/ JS.
jAUtdrt
(Ac .ScxualO**
’. t-o** Jjtyiwy,
hmnc*j</TJsvon
(Ac /tycs, Lett ■
na, Liltr JN+.
cn. iW»u
■4. it-
KOM OOIH OBJQUI
he discua arlrln* u,i ’
ihr case, recottryu
i i"nnaneßt cureeen v
vrn alter th« -H|r >l() !
iciuna and restated? m
m e pleasant without I
■ii. mtrenry orbifiaa. i
nvf rescued from the
ill' tin* lost Stages of ,
<!i given up to di» bT
m promising to th*
umlcr mv care, A per
s. iises are the greatest
irst cause of Coosutnp.
■itseH, and ahould .be a
lii.-.neut cure U acaros.
■eseK foiling into the
.ot only fall to core'tb*
li.g the system with
-tens the sufferer Into
itmcnt not caueedeath
he .license Is entailed
i feeble constltnthms,
.< virus -which betrays
options and other-af.
111 Lungs, entail ip a py
m and consigningtnin
!>• •'n. ipv to
>f human diseases C&q.
ryt-icm, drawing .ita
v.- vesrs of (UflhHag
tr'jb the Nervous in
it h 'of life, caoaee mia
development of ths
tv,' business aadwui
•■TrT wriickrd In
n :tniVn train ofevda
Will. Uie fullest cya
inii of that
• iT'ctcil, anil aitb-iEa'
valent* con be reftonw
■ho nto of Patent 3(fd>
•«U8 »narca In thacol
■J rob Uni unwary tof
:u Uons ruined by the
’l:r t-iiually polaonoo*-'
O' I have carefully
:.t Modlcines and Cud
■ V" Sublimate, which
:::crcunr and a dvo£>
' SSHwe dUablM the
:• nctw In um are put
■ai', who do not nn
.rnu inrdica, and ale
. i tin: human eyytfcm, ,
-i’. to make money re
f ;iale« and' fiitnalea
. jventy yeaiW of nab*
'hr muHt remarkable
■ ii nt to any part ot
i • ntt commuhlcaUac
j c-(A!LdenceatrtetJy
II ItTILLIt. M. D
/. ioS i lltlcv TvnffOL
'July VS, ■' iT-ly.
i lON, PHIL-
facial i-ndownatt
. ixjTtrAtd FSr-
hi.viisee,!nrh«taMP* 1
■■■ Cf-Hi jTtljxo, weft, I
O' :-f. dV„ Jk. •’>
: (.) fal dmtructlOh
•• -. and tb*' doccptiatu I
r. of atii dlsemiesjiy
t t-.n»ujtlpg surgeon,
io". to-yj'en a Dtabaft. I
: iu all thetp • I
r -o% all who apply j
■. r.»i;ti‘ju,<>jp>, pCCB* I
••••' of poverty a
*■ < • '*■/ cherfeT’JX & 1
. pi..;; i* T!ir Mgh«t I
ii-Vj
t .i-T. fi*l Msnred that
I'-.t; njl'it.
oi- ! |y to t li? junns,
ii-Mr-*. with r*nVft«l
•!■■■)(,coup. *
lii-porroii
• ->f Onaulwa, At«a
of tho Seittd
h::n will to 4tttl by
yf. ta tho receipt of
> ;:;oiiOEß.cXlr
a datioii, So. it:
i li r ..r t!u> Director,
Ai.T'.VELIi. I’idZ
. ;i>c.z-ijr.
UiCKSAtf^S
11 1 j: DITTOS. Cp Speltt
A scfeatUlcr.
• ro of. -V irvqu Jpift
Emtaior.*, lifipo
- Acquat-ddai-iqstbS
:.* of England. (ISSTi)
J ;:•) year* KcaMeav
-'Memoir* ofSlnjla
written .tor •
mi, point* pul the .oft*
b,!.'-- ret at ting froftr
i f its kind written la.
tinti. It shcmldbetn
d healtii
o -seljpt of whkii U'
. ‘;y Dr. OIL IOLVS;
r.k.
MER 3 m
i-i theoklymedlCtßft
«i>onb, Spavin-Mfii
Iment, as it S§, ft*
i -it it -will cure VtLf
;r t», but only ,to
ln.-w-rdlng to iWSt*
•Inv.-aref of precisely')
£ no width will bene*
i hi* Ointment pefift- 1
r. rts the callous Into,
: discharged to tS
w-iUioutreacaitjai
- lions. It
■rd.tliat ItwiUettta
i s ever, that It win
- - horse, wherewr
v -k. acoordlng ao
’S efficacy, miuft r
1 the money. ‘Pnoa
[Jan.
__ uti_La.ii
•lITIES m
I mpoteocy, tSkl
I AyEYiX.V. * '
i u in this now
i- isVnabJ^^^m/i
f;>•: In ftse*Jal«.(;
>fvl)r DZVASm,
AZETtiS
mi CrimtcaU ij’iß
nUUod ihrooshoot
»’ Trial a, Criminal.
eomivtogtthtr Wilt
to Imj found in any.
for Six month*, M
I write their noma*'
h' T reside plainly)
FKJXiCO., '
I'ilije Gazette,
. u iff I York Cay.
JEST PRQ-
Ai IAISST TIIOSK
on and other fiirap
exposed state oftb#
tjunl '
0 AV. KKSSXJSB.A
X FOR RX
uir.s, ASl&j#*'
Ur ant drctuacUOv
.'■'3 js-at>
~ KEBEUER.
t:u-
MoCRUM & ALLISON,
VOL. S.
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
V McCKX7M A AItUSON,. Publfchera uul Proprietor*.
Per ammtß, (payable invariably in advance,) $1,50
AU papers diacontinoed at the expiration of tbe time
paid for.
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Two “ (16 “ ) 100 160 200
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Oter three weak* and lew than throe month*, 25 cents per
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Communications of apolitical character or Individual in
terest ■yUl he charged according to thoabovoratee.
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desired, Will bo continued till forbid and charged according
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Business notice* live cent* per line for every insertion.
Obituary notices exceeding ten lines; fifty cents asquare.
PROSPECTUS
ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
«Ptnz CASH SYSTJEJtf ADOPTED!
The Cheapest Paper ib the County!
With the present number, the Tribune has ca
tered upbn its thlnl volume. Commenced at a
lime when the confidence of the citiiens of Al
toona in newspapers and newspaper publishers
was considerably shaken, if not totally annihila
ted, it has slowly but surely restored that con
fidence, and now stamls upon a sure foundation,
and is universally acknowledged to be one of
the fixed institutions of our town. But this re
sult has not been achieved without a hard strug
gle, and considerable expenditure of time and
means on the port of its editors. The steady
increase of patronage, however, has afforded in
dubitable evidence that their labors have been ap
, dated.
•In entering upon the new volume it is almost
unnecessary to say that the Tribune will coutiri
ne to-be “Ikubtbxdext ix Everythiko,” be
ing biassed neither by fear, favor nor affection,
in favor of parties or sects. In this respect it
is only necessary to say that the past affords a
fair index as to our future course.
It has always been our aim to make the Tri
tync,.a reliable first-class Local Pater, as we
believe tliat in that character alone, country pa
pers can successfully compote with their flashy
city neighbors. - To this end we have secured
correspondents in various parts of the county,
who furnish us with all the items of local inter
est in their vicinity. We purpose adding others
to out list as soon as we can obtain them. Du
ring the next year we shall redouble our efforts
to .make the Tribune a perfect , compendium of
Home News —a reliable, pinsTrULAsa Local
Pater, second to none in the country, and as
such a welcome weekly visitor to our patrons,
whether at home or abroad.
But while the Local Department shall be our
special care, we shall also demote a considera
ble space to Literary Matter, Fcn axd Hu
mor, and the .chronicling of events of general
interest to our readers. We purpose also pub
lishing from time to time “Original Sketches'of
Men and Things ” Which will be furnished by
our contributors. We have made arrangements
also to have a weekly letter from Philadelphia,
and judging from the reputation our correspon-,
sustains as a popular writer, these letters
w iU be a rich treat to our readers.
As wrare decidedly journalists of the pro
gressive school, we have concluded to adopt the
cash system id our business. The neglect of
quite a number of our patrons to pay up prompt
ly, *nd the rascality of others, has compelled
ns to adopt this course. Time ,and experience
has fully proved to our satisfaction that the'
•cketlit system will not work with newspaper
publishers. From this date no paper will be
cent from this office, unless paid for in advance,
pud at the' expiration of the time paid for, if
not renewed, will be promptly stopped. This
arrangement does no injustice to our patrons,
whUkit will protect us from ;the impositions of
soilless scoundrels, and enable us to devote
more attention to our paper. ■
Becognizing, the principle that contracts to
be satisfactory should be fraught with mutual
benefit to both parties, and as money in large
amounts, in advance, is of more value to us than
when received in driblets, as an induce
ment to numbers who would otherwise discon
tinuous well as to those who .hate never yet.
wo offer it at the following
canting year t
one year $1.50
at tkaaaine rate—sl percopy.
Ihe must, is off. fa»a, accompany the
0p4«.: .. ■-■■■■■■: .
Bythe abdvett wiU be seen that our paper
is emphatioallythe cheapw* Vthe county.—
As to its merits we leave In to the jinbiic t*. de
cide. We earnestly request
out the county to “give as a-Uftf” --as-wovhite
no doubt each of them can readily qhtoin «
in their neighborhood.
Cahvabsers Wasmd.—fiff?eu4
evreasimen wanted to nanri^ 1 th*^
OP %UM
Hflcrt'
▲ Bundling Scrape.
‘gossip/ in the New York Dispatch
gives the • following description of “ A
Bundling Scrape
I bavn’t a word to say against Jones,
not li; nor against Brown, either; but if
you wish to sec a real character just get
acquainted with our Smith. Oh, I prom
ise you he is qn “ old.” He is one of
the direct descendants of the immortal
John, who 4 fit, bled and died’ more for
his country, iperhaps, than any other boy
or main of hip size. The Tact is, while a
boy, he was always fighting and bleeding
in view of which fact you will be surpris
ed to learn that he always was and still is
the veriest coward in the presence of a
woman.
Smith’s roosting dormitory is just two
rooms from ours, and it is curious to hear
him lock the do«Jr at night, then put a ta
ble before it, then a chair on top of that
again, for fear, I suppose, that some fe
male somnambulist might take it iu her
head to give Ihim a call.
Bless me, howlred he gets in the face,
When we speak, td him. Why, the young
woman who helps the family with the
housework, (they don’t keep a servant,)
is almost afraid to ask him for buttons,
when she needs them, to put on the bosom
of his shirt, and when she takes up to him
his clean clothes, she has to wrap the shirts
up in a paper.
Poor Smith, it makes one melancholy
to think of it. I don’t suppose he ever
dreams of such a thing as marrying—in
fact, ,1 don’t believe he could entertain
such a tho’t and keep his balance. I asked
him one day if he had always been so, and
his reply was that he got awfully fright
ened once by a nice young woman, after
which experience he fought shy of the
whole tribe. After trying in vain to reason
him out of his foolish predjudice, I insis
ted upon his relating to rao the incident
which had so steeled him against the sof
ter sex.
‘ Well,' said he at length, with a sigh,
“if I must, hut you are the only one to
whom I would relate the story, for you
dont belong to the ‘Prunes and Prism’
school.” ‘ Thank-ce. sir,’ I replied —‘ pro
ceed, if you please—l am all attention !’
‘ Well,’ he continued, ‘it is about three
years since a chum of mine asked me to
accompany him just back of B , iu the
State of New Jersey, to a quilting frolic.
Now, I had always entertained a particu
lar aversion tp Jersey mud, Jersey light
ning and Jersey dogs, but as I had never
been present sit an assemblage of Jersey
belles, and as a quilting frolic was some
thing which I had often heard my mother
—heaven bless her I—tell about, I deter
mined to know what it was by personal
experience. reached the scene of ac
tion in good time, assisted in tearing the
quilt from the frame and throwing it over
a grist of plump girls, thereby disarrang
ing their hair and other fixins awfully.—
.This fun lasted some time, and I shouldn’t
wonder if in the course of it, they all got
kissed. After a while the fiddler came,
and we went into dancing with a will, and
an understanding also. Phew I the sweat
streamed down our faces, and we had nearly
shook ourselves out of our trousers —hooks
and eyes were lying around loose, and near
ly every girl was backing herself up to
Some other girl to get pinned up. That
was what they called a, ‘ square eight.’—
We got along amazingly, and in the course
of the evening I managed to get pretty
thick with, a certain for, red cheeked,
roguish-eyed damsel, who didn’t need any
wadding to bring her into proper shape—
her hand was fat and warm as a
rabbit—and I felt all over as though briars
were sticking in me when I took hold of
it to chasso her around and cjos-a-dos her
back. ! "
“ After the performance was concluded, I
got into a corner with the beauty, and be
gan sparking hey like fun. T likened her
to a goddess, and told her that to gain
her love I would go in my shirt-tail to the
ends of the earth. Well, she kinder puck
ered up her mouth, and looking at me,
said:
‘ Look-a-here, Yorker, have you a mind
to gohwne with me to-night ?’
‘ Oh, my charming, divine Hebe, re
turned I, that would be tod much bliss I’
‘Pshal'jreplied she, ‘no hiiss at all
about it. Km you bundle, say ?'
/ BunßersaTdX soipesb|tt.puzzled,: < I
don’t know .as t pver tried it. Is it hard
to dof ' * V
‘ BjardY returned grip,
‘ jf knpTO'pn^mbstydurigJ
fellers finds it.easy ”
‘ Weß'shid you can learn pie,
T■.-■i ■ 1 \- . V v
*ue } tfypu ain’t pokin’ at rfid). ypnp,
are behind the age. Don’t they btthdfe
in York !’ '. . <- ,•'\ • ~,.X Xr'
J I never heard that I wißwetP
ed, ‘ apd to tell you .the truth, I Xeally !
don’t know what the points are*-
/ ■ Md die* ,< KmxMid—Mm,
to-we
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 15, 1858.
Well, to make a long story short, just
before daylights, my charmer and I went
dashing home iu great style. On arriving
there, I went ih, of course, and she took
me in a where was a fire and
a bed. Holy Moses! thought I, into whose
hands have I fallen V It was her bed room !
Oh, Eve, Eve, you horrible first apple
cater! how tHosex goes to it naturally!
Well, she got off her hat and sat down to
warm her feet.; After a while she fixed her
eyes on me, and said in a tone of mingled
wonder and dissatisfaction ?.
‘What in the name of all that’s natral,
are you about Yorker? Are you goin' to
sit gawkin’ there all night—say ? Off with
them ere muddy boots, to wonst, and git
ready to puddle!’
‘ Why,’ said I, totally unable to under
stand her, ‘ mutt I take off my boots be
fore I can puddle V
‘Why,thunderation,yes yergreatskeert
calf,’ she exclaimed, ‘you cant get in bed
with your boots on can you V
‘ Bed/ queried I, beginning to grow
alarmed, ‘ excuse me, I don’t understand
you. I’d rather not bundle, if it’s all the
same to you. I ain’t well. I —l want to
go to York to-nigbt the worst kind !’
‘ ou do, hey V said she snappish!}’,
‘ well if you stir one peg out of this ere
shantce 111 you’ve bundled, I’ll set the
dogs on you. Gome, get ready to bundle !
Off with them boots or it will be wuss for
you!’
1 Oh, heavens, spare me my dear young
lady !’ I exclaimed.
r I wont, said she. ‘ do you ’sposo I’m a
goiu’ to be fooled that way ? E\ crybody
does it in Jarsey, and I know they do it in
York, too. You cant cheat me, you mean
cuss I mebbey they call it some other name,
though!’
Well, I had to take off my boots, and
then she insistedXon my getting in bed
with her. She was already there.
‘Oh Lord !’ exclaimed I, ‘1 must go
out! lam dreadful sick\at the stomach ! I
don’t want to bundle '( Ltold you 1 didn't
know how!’ \
She got mad us a turkey cqck, and jump
ing out of bed she opened the door and
called for ‘ Bouncer’ and ‘ Wolf,’ and I
made a break for the door. I was in my
socks, but I tiew over the soil like the wind.
The dogs were so close that I could feel
their teeth in imagination. Presently one
seized a skirt of my coat, and off it came,
of course. I never slackened my speed,
but shortly afterwards a mouthful of pant
aloons was seized, and, oh I horror ! that
went the way of my coat tail. By this
time the demon was aroused within me
and I veiled like an Indian, and turninjr
like a hunted stag, I stood at bay,grappled
with the nearest; brute, and we came to the
mad together.- Over and over we went,
growling, sweating, tearing and ripping.
Bunches of dogdiair and shreds of miscel
laneous clothing were all mixed up togeth
er, and just, as I had given up to die, a
friendly knife was put into the brute’s
throat by my chum, who had opportunely
come along from some house where he bad
been bundling. We quickly dispatched
the other dog, and then in an awful plight
I had to walk three .miles, ‘ weak and
wounded, sick andsore,’ before we got toa
place of shelter. I never went back. I
was determined not to encounter the Jersey
Venus again, arid never did. Since that
time I bare been more fearful of a woman
than of a she briar robbed of her cubs. It
dosn’t make a bit 1 of difference where they
hail from, they arc all alike. lam afraid
6f them all. Sometimes when I think of
a married life, and! wonder if ever I will
come to that, ari iWrful sound smites my
ear, and bundle! drives it out of my mind
altogether.
‘Well, Smith,’ said I, ‘I thank you for
your narrative, but you might have better
luck the nest time.* ‘ Never !’ exclaimed
he and he-left' the room.
A Shabp Hoosier.—Oliver H. Smith
gives this incident in the early history of
Indiana: At the Kush Circuit Court my
friend Judge Kerry bargained for a pony
for $25 to he [delivered the next day, on a
credit of, six months. The man came
with thc pppy, but required security of
the judge fbr|s2s. The judge .drew the
note at the tqp bf a sheet of foolscap, and
signed it. Tjsigned it; James Earidan
signed it and handed it on, and on it went
from lawyer to lawyer around the bar, till
some twenty of us had signed it. I then
handed it ujp to;; the Court, and the three
judges put their names to it Judge Petr
ly prcaented it to the man he bad bought
the pony of, but he promptly refused it,
saying : ‘ Dw|F£ybu think lam a fool to
let you get this Court and all the lawyers
on your stdhi jl see you intend tb cheat
mfe opt nf jmyfpphy^ , tip he jumped,
jpahy; and started for hoime
atduU 1
pnrt oh dn
nh»dodeMicsmost admire when dev
go to do ctofdj ?’
f We& i teH ifhftfc datis:
can von fodf t
{independent in everything.]
We know of nothing more reprehensi
ble, nothing more dangerous and injurious,
than the practice of frightening children
in the nursery, at the l family fireside, and
in the social circle, by relating to them
ghost stories, goblin tales, and witchcraft
fictions. They receive painful Impres
sions from which their nervous system
does not recover for years, perhaps not
during their whole lives.
Children and young folks have general
ly great curiosity in relation to these tales
of the imagination, especially when they
are attended by some gossipping nurse,
whose head, being empty of good sense,
has been filled brim full of ghost legends
and black letter recollections. We hap
pen to know something about this matter
by a most unhappy and'painful experi
ence. We know what melancholy effects
attend these revelations of goblins and
ghosts in the nursery. We have even now,
while we a dim, shuddering recol
lection of tnese appalling horrors, which
makes the blood chill, creep and curdle
about the heart—even after the finger of
time has planted furrows on the brow, and
sown silver threads in the hair. It was
the practice of a full grown hoy of nine
teen or twenty years of age, (we are cer
tain he never became a man') to take the
writer upon his knee (then three or four
years old,) when the twilight was gradu
ally fading into darkness, veil his face with
a black handkerchief, and then, for our
especial edification, affirm that he was the
unmentionable personage who is supposed
to be no better than he should be. Then
would follow a long dissertation upon witch
es, ghosts, hobgoblins, a whole family of
horrible monstrosites, by way of giving
tone to the infantile imagination. The
lessons operated upon the young mind like
a potent spell. Soon it became as much
as the life.was worth to attempt to cross a
dark entry after nightfall. If left alone
in a sleeping apartment, the avenue to the
eyes was carefully barricaded by the pillow
and bed-clothes ; there, panting, trembling,
shivering, huge drops of cold perspiration
oozing out at ever}' pore, the writer lay a
full believer in all monstrous shapes and
terrible forms, the shuddering victim of a
most cruel delusion, at times but a single
removal from a maniac
Those terrible night time solitudes, the
darkness peopled by the imagination with
spectres the most terrific, how vividly do
they come back, even now in the days of
maturcr judgment and riper reason, never
to he erased from the recollection by the
hand of time ! If there is a worse condi
tion upon earth than that into which this
monstrous superstition { lunges an imagi
native child, we have no conception of its
curdling horrors. Never to lay the head
upon the pillow, from the time it is two or
three years of age, until, seven, eight or
ten, without feeling the most perfect assu
rance in its own mind of realizing its own
prophecy, and seeing some hideous spectre
before morning! This is the purgatory of
early, innocent and otherwise happy child
hood.
These midnight horrors haunt the im
agination even to old age. They may lose
somewhat of their painful vividness, their
appalling distinctness-—something of their
curdling horror, so potent in its mystery
and so terrific even in its impossibility —
but these terrors linger in the imagina
tion still, ready to he called up in every
suspicious spot, awakened in every soli
tude, in spite of all the judgment can do
or the reason can urge. For a moment, at
certain times, even to old age, the heart
will throb with painful distinctness, the
hair will become perpendicular, and a dis
agreeable shudder will make the blood
cold in the veins, even when manhood has
reached its prime. To be sure the judg
ment soon dispels these unfounded fears,
but they will haunt the victim at times to
his dying day. These are some of the
painfully deleterious effects of frightening
children in the early season of their growth.
How important is it, that parents should
guard them against these groundless ter
rors, exciting the early imagination, and
chaining the trembling victim to the in
describable agony of this nervous bondage
for all its future life.
I Non Conductors,— Colonel Jones is a
gentleman and a wit. The other day he
was showing the town to some ladies from
the steeple of the Court-House. One of
these asking him why the lightning-rod,
where it was attached to the building for
support, was incased in a piece' of horn,
the Colonel replied that horn was a non
conductor. ‘Oh, judged!’says the lady;
‘ I never knovr that before/ ‘ To be sure,-
says the Colonel. j 1 Have you never* ob
servod that when the J>oys have had a horn
Or tvo th pj tan- 1 comfort themselves prop
erly'?’ ; The great height fropa the ground
:
Frightening Children.
OSF ‘I lave to look upon ft youpg jnam
?^ewm^ahidfen
his breast wguoh charmsand painsipe/ ,
ThedaughterofaclergjTnanhapponing
to find the dboTe Scpten to at the df
Look out Tor the Bridge!—A The*
atfieal Incident.
Some years ago, the manager of a ‘ well
regulated theatre’ somewhere along the
line of the Erie Canal, engaged a good
looking and brisk young lady -as supernu
merary. It happened that the young la
dy in question had formerly officiated in
some capacity as a ‘ hand ’ on.hoard a ca
nal boat, a fact which ,she was extremely
anxious to conceal. She evinced much
anxiety to master the details of her newly
chosen profession, and soon exhibited a
more than ordinary degree of comic tal
ent, She was duly promoted,' and in a
short time became a general favorite with
both manager and public.
One night she was antfounced to appear
in a favorite part, and a couple of boat
men found their way into the pit, near the
footlights, particularly anxious to see the
new comedienne. The house .was crowd
ed, and after the subsidence pf the gener
al applause which greeted her appearance,
one of the boatmen slapped his companion
on the shoulder, and with an eujphatic ex
pletive, exclaimed loud enough to bo heard
over the house:
‘ Bill, I know that gal!’
‘ Pshaw !’ saidßill, ‘ dry up. 1
‘ But I’m d d if I dolu’t now, Bill.
It’s Sal Fluking, as sure as you’re born.
She’s old Flukins’ daughter; that used to
run the ‘lnjured Polly/ and she used to
sail with him.’ 1 ■
- 1 Tom/said Bill, ‘you’re a fool, and if
you don’t stop your infernal clack, you’ll
get put out. Sal Flukins! You know u
sight if you'think that’s her ?’
Torn was silenced but not convinced. —
He watched the actress in all her motions
with intense interest, and ere long broke
out again.
‘ I tell ye, Bill, that’s her-n-I know ’tis
You can’t fool me —I know too well!’
Bill, who was a good deal interested in
the play, was out of all patierioe at this
Eersistent interruption on thepatt of Tom.
lc gave him a tremendous nudge in the
ribs with his elbow, as an emphatic hint'
to keep quiet. i
Tom, without minding the admonition,
said, ‘ you just wait, I’ll fix her—keep
your eye ou her.' j
Sure enough he did fix her. Watching
his opportunity when the actress was deep
ly absorbed in her part he sung out in a
voice which rung through the-galleries:
‘ Low Bridge!’
From force of habit the actress instant
ly and involuntarily ducked her head to
avoid the anticipated collision. Down
came the house-with a perfect thunder of
applause at this palpable ‘hit/ high above
which Tom’s voice could be, heard as he
returned Bill’s punch in the jibs with in
terest :
‘ Didn't I tell ye, old bby. I know'
'twas her. You can’t fool nie.’
How to Settle an Accocnt--—To
settle coffee with an egg is an easy matter;
but it is not exactly .so easy to settle an
old account, as a racy writer En Otsego
coh'nty, New York, shows in this letter :
‘ Seldom have I been more amused than
when, some two years ago, Upon the North
Fork of the Salmon river, in California, I
overheard aconversationbetween.au honest
miner, named Riley, and one Mike Don
nelly, a trader whom it seethed Riley was
indebted some $5O to for provisions. Said
Donnelly to Riley—
“ You ought to pay this little bill, for
you know I trusted you when |no other
trader on the river would. . ‘Cpme, now
I’ll throw of half, if you’ll pay ■ the rest.
‘ Well, Mike,’ said Riley, * I’ll be hang
ed if I’ll allow you to be more liberal
than I am. If you throw off one half I’ll
throw off the other!
‘■But that don’t settle my account.’
‘ Then break an egg into it !’• said Ri
ley, and eooly walked off. ■ ■
The Marshall (Textd))Rcpttbli€an
tells of an qld negro, ‘ Hard;’yyho supplies
that town with fuel:
‘ Hard ’ is really a good looking custo
mer and understands the science of load
ing a wagon to the best advantage. Re
cently, we were struck with admiration at
one of his conical piles, through the in
terstices of which a . large, fat than might
have crawled with case and safety.
‘Hard/ said we, fyoh certainly possess
the talent for loading a wagon/ ■' ' /
Old Hard’s eyes twinkled with delight
at the compliment,, and surveying -with
pleasure his loaded i Tyagpfy >he : - tgrpedto
us, exposing his iyorios, ahdr^lmd.
‘ Oh, yes; massdj jhtit da's no habin
a takm -less it pays well. -5 : / *
•, A; Prayer for ran
save mp frojn the sh#hi^! my o^p
heart.' t -• ; t
me froth false doctrines, feb® ah-‘
thorities and bigd|nes* : ’m
and life. '
: the
iniquity foaWpwh?? ,f /
Have me the over
thmgbef»usoit Is stop^ri* v-’k ■ ■ ' '■•
Afefve me from au soteialf; Slut
corinntiooa aad> v - &V
•,t. T r'-'-’-i.'
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
‘Got Him Foul.' — Aunt Jenny. was. a
very exemplary colored woman, and al
ways felt and allowed much, concern .'for
the future welmre of her numerous chit
dren. But little 'Nicholas had po much /
of the ‘OldNick' in him, that, with all i
her persuasions andthreats, she oodld not j
bring him good-way of saying hisj
prayers. One afternoon. Aunt Jenny was ■>
startled by hearing loud cries froaa the
barn yard—‘O Dord l* and, hasteningout, ’
she saw young Nick pinned, to theibnoe
with the homs -of acow, one on each side
of him, and now and then she vronhllejt.
him out, but to ‘bunt’ Idmbadk
again. Nick kept up his cries-*-* Qtoru 1*
and all the louder when he saw his {both
er coming. But she didn’t interfere;-*—
She stopped, took a good look, sot her ,
arms a kimbo, and sang out, ‘Oh yea ?
you’s mighty billin’ to call, on do Lord
now.you’s got into trubul nut you couldn’t
pray wid your mader like a ’speotablochile I’
And turning to the kitchen she left Nick
to the tender mercies of the cow, being
quite sure, however, that no serious ham
would come to. him.
Profits of; Tobacco. —There are.fif>
ty-six manufacturers of the staple iu Bioh*
mond, whose United capital amounts to
four or fire millions of dollars. More to
bacco is raisedj in andropcaojl,
inspected and sold in
haps in any one place in the United Stytcs.
It is here that'the choicest specunani of
the weed assumes the shape which com* -
mends it to the regard of devoted ohetresa
everywhere. Tobacco is put up in as
many different ways almost as. there are
chcwers. There is as much difference be*
tween the ideas of the Yankee and'Souths
erner on this question of taste, as there hi
on any other matter. The former Kkc»
the 4 pig-tail ’ plentifully sweetened and.
liquoriced to a degree; the latter,
sweetning you put in, the bettec theto*
bacco. Buyers’congregate here, who pur*
chase for all parts of the globe, fofelea
governments are supplied hy agentswho
reside hero for that purpose.:
citizens the road to wealth had Been via
tobacco. —Richmond South.
■ •&> At a late ball in Baltimore a g**.
tleman (probably one of the codfish arS*%
tpcracy,) having danced with
dy whose attractions, both personal ' and
conversational,, seemed, to have made an
impression on his sensibilities, asked to
have the pleasure of sccii& hear ttefol*
lowing evening. ; "S v'
* Why, no sir/ i
‘I shall be co gaged on tOrmorrow even ing;
but I’ll tell you when you can see jao£ ?
‘ I shall be most happy/
stricken swain. ' * ;
‘ Well, on Saturday/resumedlhe tody,
‘you can see me at the foot of
market, selling cabbage.’ . .
tfaß* Two darkies, one a BapUst, tbe.
other a Universalist got into a
sy about the origin of man.. The &ip*
tist said God made Adam put of clay,
squeezed it into the right shape, set it tip
agin de fence to dry, and aftorwac&bfcV'
ed breff into the body.
‘StopT said the Universalist. ‘Yon
say dat de fust man eber made?’ '
‘ Sartin i’ said the Baptist darkey.
/ Well den, jest tell a feller whardat
arc fence come from V - r
‘ Hnsh!’ said the other darkey ‘ <juca
dons Tike dat ihnst not be axed ; aey would
spile all de theology in de world? ■ '
A Valuable CANBiiEsnoK—-An
Irish ‘ gintleman/ had occasion tbvisit :
the South sometime since. When .%g>rc*-
turned, he remarked to a friend that, the
Southern people were*very extravagant:!
Upon being asked why so, he itimiroelr
that where he staid, they had «
stick worth eleven hun<feec('UfoUlin.
, ‘ few in the wprld it npst
that mhehr inquired thhmend. “ /
‘Gob, be goiry t it'
a hig, stager fellow, a" boldin' "i tbn&itir’
us te eat by? ‘ I- V, r ;. - : =
« I _•>C t . ’
• • -F.r-r- ■ ■ . - •
: %BLK BO -
man for not tmnkipg as you thihk., J>V
every one enjoy the full and ftee Kbertj
of thinking for himself, lief ibrcry matt
nso his own judgment i ’since dvery man *
mpst giro ap account of. himself to Ood.
Abhor
gra, to the spmt of perseoution. If you
cannot reason'or perspado a man info the
trtfth,heyS*-attemptHb force him into :
If loVe Willnbfc compel him, leave hiih to
(rod the Judge of all.s
Ifap* Toast at a surprise party, February
2,1858: io the man who swgaxs,
steals and lies—swears off from drinking^ '
steals away from had company, and Uesra
au honest bedi*
■; strongest kind of a hint-st
ypo»g lady asking a gentleman to see if
on« v of .her rings will go on his UtfJefinget,
An old Whelorisdefiniriohpfhw%s
dy|ng f and a great dealof ' .
'S
1 ■*
♦
NO. 11.