The Millheim Journal, PUBLTBHtD EVRRY THURSDAY BY i\. a. Office in the New Journal Building, Penn St., near Hart man's foundry. •1.00 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE, OR $1.85 IP NOT PAID IN ADVANCB. Acceptable Correspondence Solicited Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL. B US INK S S CARDS IIARTER, AUCTIONEER,, MILLIIRIH, PA, LB. STOVER, . AUTIONEER, Madisonburg, Pa. H. RKIFSNYDER, AUCTIONEER, MILLHEIM, PA. J VV. LOSE, AUCTIONEER, MILLHEIM, PA. JOHN F. BARTER, Practical Dentist, Office opposite the Methodist Church. MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA. J. W. STAM, Physician & Surgeon, Office on Penn street, MILLIIEIM, PA. GEO. L. LEE, Physician & Surgeon, MADISONBURG, PA. Office opposite the Public School House. P.ARD.M.D. WOODWARD, PA. g O. DEININGER, Notary-Public, Journal office, Penn st., Millheim, Pa. 49*Deedsand other legal papers written and i eknowledged at moderate charges. QEORGE L. SPRINGER, Fashionable Barber, MAIN STHKBT, MIULUUM, I'A. Shop opposite Mtilhelm Banking House. Shaving. Haircutting, Shampooning, Dying, &c. done in the most satisfac tory manner. Jno.H. Orvis. C. M. Bower. Ellis L.Orvls QRYIS, BOWER & ORYIS, Attorneys-at-Law, BKLLEFONTE, PA., Office in Wood tags Building. D. H. Hastings. W. F. Keeder JJASTINTIS & REEDER, Attorneys-at-Law, BKLLEFONTE, PA. Office on Allegheny Street, two doers east of the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocuin A Hastings. J U. MEYER, Attorney-at-Law, BKLLEFONTE PA. At the Office of Ex-Judge Hoy. C. HEINLE, Attorney-at-Law. Bellkfontb, PA. Practlees in all the eourts of Centre county Special attention to Collectious. Consultations In German or English. J A.Beaver. J. W.Qepbart Attorneys-at-Law, BKLLEFONTE, PA. Office on Alleghany Street. North of HIli Street JgROCKEItIIOFF HOUSE, ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA. C. G. McMILLEN, PROPRIETOR. Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to witnesses and Jurors QUMMINS HOUSE, BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONTE, PA., EMANUEL BROWN, PROPRIBTOB House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev erything done to make guests comfortable. Ratesmoderate. Patronage respectfully solici ted My JIMX no USE, (Most Central Hotel in the eity.) COHNEIt OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS LOCK HAVEN, PA. S.WOODS CALDWELL I'ltOl'ltlKT OR. Good sameule rooms for commercial Tr vel eta on first lioor. R. A. BUMILLER, Editor. VOL. 61. S. G GUTELIUS, DENTIST, MILLHEIM, PA. Dffrrs his professional services to tl* public. He is prepared to perform all opera!lons In tlie dental profession, lie Is now fully prepared lo extract teeth absolutely without pain A* Mrs. Sarah A. Zeigler's BAKERY, on Penn street,south of race bridge, Millheim. Pa. Bread, Pies & Cakes of superior quality can l>e bought at any time and in any quantity. ICE CREAM AND FAN CY CAKES for Weddings, Picnics and other social gather ings promptly made to order. Call at tier place and get your supplies at ex ceedingly low prices. 34-Sm P. H. MUSSER, WATCHMAKERAeJEWEI.ER, Main Street, Millheim. Pa., —eJOPPOSITE THE BANK.Js- fita?" Repair Work a Specailty. Sat isfaction guaranteed. Your patronage respectfully solicited. 5-ly. THE ATTENTION of the public in general and butines men in particular i* directed to the fact that the j Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay .Vy Ay Ay Ay Ay ~ # „ 11 4 J|illh(im Jomiia! ss : la & irEHaLSruJrE E6 traps ■ ~||~ • iff if JS *• UPPL TED g I WI TIT GO O D roirr-c?UT gggpaspjayiiM^ -~*PRHSBIS*-- SEmSSEESPyr: UT7rtrpir7=rgp. ?L=i3jr3S^=s3siaji^aaa3a3s3£i^ "~W~~ EM PL OYE j!|f j OA* L Y 5:9 pJ[£j |g| SH'orfcmeii II A XDIUS A FINE || jjj, SELECTION OF il gsgsito^^3gr3ji3sr^3Jvas3jixLa DISPLftY TYPE lesiliiis ■=Lii 3S3J> " jSm] irl (T> LETTEIi HEADS |S VO TE HE A DS, IS STATEMENTS, Silj 11HH. HEADS, |:| ENVELOPES, l| [rij CIRCULARS, -B-J _ Ay \.y \\ \y A\\\ A\\\ Ay Ay Ay POSTERS, PA UP 11 'J:T\ legal Blanks, Cards. and,inßhort, neat and tasty Job Print''ng of all kinds EXECUTED PROMPTLY AND CHEAPLY. for Infants and Children. "Castorla is so well adapted tochlldren that I Casterla cures Oolle, Constipation, I reeoiuineud it u* superior to any prescription I Bour Stomach, Diarrhoea, Eructation, known to me." 11. A. Aacues., M. D., I Kiv °* * Wp ' and dl " HI So. Oxford St., liruokiyu, N. Y. | Without injurious medication. Tu* CESTAUM COWANT, l&l Pulton Btreet, N. Y. NITTTSI A WILL WORK EQUALLY AS WELL * " 1 . ON ROUGH BTONY I. AND AH i)N A IM Ft. n¥"OYI7 Till". WKBTFUN PltAlltlES. 11 1H 11 I ITlTll 'n U r l.llW UNLIKE ANY OTIIFK HI'I.KY IN 5/1 ril 9Li I IB •AJV? If THE WORLD. CAN liE ATTACHED II M 111 I ff* !■ % □ ' TO ANY COMMON. WAI.KINtI UHiVllill u SIIIKY ■ ■ll UUJLIIaI. i NOPEASE THE DRAFT ONE u i for our )il>. rul (cruia aud <1- a "LB. DANIELS A 'CO., 1888—EVERY LADY SHOULD TAKE IT-1888 PETERSON'S MAGAZINE OF LITERATURE, ART AND FASHION SKETCHES OF NOTKI) PLACES AND PEOPLE, SPLENDIDLY-ILLUSTRATED ARTICLES, TALKS AND NOVELETS BY FAMOUS AUTHORS, ILLUSTRATED HINTS ON TIIK FASHIONS. NUMEROUS WORK TABLE PATTERNS. THE BERT AV> CHEAPEST of the ladv s hooka. It rive* more for the money and com bines grealei merits than any other Its stoiies. novelet*, etc . are admitted to b® the beat pub lished. Its contributors are among the most popular authors of America. A Fl*I.L-SIZK DKESS-PATTKRN with each iiumber. Inch alone is w,ith the price of the number. Every mouth, also, tlieic appears a MAMMOTH COLORED FASHION-PLATE, su perbly colored, anil gh nig the latest Parisian stv h-s ,>f dress. Also household,rookei > .and other receipts, article* on art embroidery. flower-culture, home dec<>ratlou-*ln short, everything in tcresiiug to ladies. •WULUB-PREMIUMS FOR ISSS! FINEST EVER OKFKUKI!*S TERMS, ALWAYS IN ADVANCE, $2 00 A YEAR. 2 Copies for ♦o.U) J With the elegant hook. "Choice Gems," or a large steel-engraving, "The 5 " *• 4 So# Wreath of Immortelle*," as a premium for getting up the dub. -• Copies forsl lot With an extra copy of the Magazine for l*ss, a* a premium, to the person 6 •• " t getting up the club.' •t Copies for ps.no \ Willi both an extra copy of the Magazine for ls&s ami the large steel-eu -7 " " 10..'0f graving or the took'T.'hoice Gems," to the person getting up the club. FOE LARGER CLUBS STILL GREATER INDDCEHENTS! Acldr.s, post-paid, CHARLES J. PETERSON. 300 Chestnut St , Philadelphia, Pa. sent gratis, If written for. to get up clubs wltn. J. R. SMITH & CO.. [LIMITED. Nos. 220, 222 & 224 Front Street, MILTON; PA. The Largest House Furnishing Emporium in •a* Central Pennsylvania. □ THE.PLACE TO GET A SQUARE DEAL AND THE REST BARGAINS. □ UTT D\ T ITT TD I? FDR PARLOR, SALOON. DINING ROOM, OFFICE, JC U I\JN 1 1 U lYlti COUNTING HOUSE AND KITCHEN. ->BED SUITS POPE.^ Come ands from attic to cellar. We are enabled to sell the lowest because we sell the most. Everybody visits us and thinks our house a marvel. The handsomest Side-Boards. Escritoires, Chlft'onieres, Writing Desks, Hall Racks, Slate and Marble Mantels in the land. Busy all the time. Every Bid a Sale I Over Ten Thousand Trial JPNrLN' " A*°i , TTYAL,PIU KAKB. mailed to pn- AF FLWUWJI troublw, and all Ouock*. B R P*ririi r i Dent.B a large proportion aim istobleed their vio- AJK RAC KACE. of whom took Nful 1 treat | J®TR*DR UADNA E A SUBEllaiiknt that HAS montnnd were restored to health by use of YA IRFT thousand*. doc* not Interfere hIS?, f ,-. SEMINAL A ItadicalCnrofor NervoasDebility, OßßANlO\3SWL£s-^®^ 0N II , T - N ? C ,K P, R L I L CL PLR; By direct Weakness andPhyelcal Decay In Young cr *' IPRCIFIC die A :cd MEM Tested for Eight Years In Influence IS fcU without deUv. Thr natural thousand cases they absolutely restore premttturel^^™S^ m^?fT !L ofVfST l^ aged nnd broken down men fothe full enjoymentof BECOMESCHIRRFU^NT™^W?SV/FN^H perfect nnd full Manly Btrength and Vigorous Health, becomescheertiland rapidlygt.M both .treogth aud healih .To those who suffer from the many obscure diseases TREATMENT— One Month. $3. TTO UOI ST Thrss 17 broughtnbout by Indiscretion, Ezi>oeure, Over-Brain ""••e" Work, ortoofreo Indulgence, we ask that you send us UkDDIQ DCIICHV rr\ U_.. R>. your name with statement of your trouble, and eecure HAKKI3 K CIVI CUT vU,, HIF C UHEMISTS, T24IAL PACKAGE I''HKE,with Illust'd RUPTURED PERBQNS can have FREI Trial of our Appliance. Ask for Terms! ! MILLIIEIM.PA., THURSDAY DECEMBER 1.1887. A I'AI'EIt FOlt TIIK BOMB CIHCI.E Friend Decker's Re ward. 'The tlays are shortening,' Higluxl Friend Docker, :ui lie folded up his speetai lew mid replaced tliem in tlicir tin ease, 'or else my sight isn't what it used to lie. Wellndny, one l au't e.\|net to lie young always. Is it tlice, I.eali ? 1 did nut look for thou so soon.' Leah Decker came into the room like a breezy young whirlwind. She hod none of the repose of manner which is at present so much in vogue. Horn nnd lre that thee would be glad to o blige her.' 'No, 1 didn't,' bluntly answered la?ah '1 said that 1 gathered the wild plums myself in the Crook and cookul them after aunt Mahal. l'S recipe, and thai there were four jars aud 1 waut.il to keep them for thee : especially since thy health was so poor and thy appetite so variable.' '1 am sorry, dear,' said Friend Decker. 'Friend Anastasia is very old, and people are apt to be merciful about tritles. More over, she's our kinswoman, a degree or two removed, perhaps, but ' 'Then why don't she do something for us ?' tiasluil out Ijeah, 'la-sides giving lis good advice and tormenting us with her fault-findings ? I didn't mean to mention it, father, but she told me out and out that she bad adopted Moses Sawyer, and that she meant to take him for her heir.' 'Writ, .tiuuhter, why should she not ?' COUllHisedlY UihuMmui^ 'Because he is no relation to her at all,' cried 'and the projierty caine from our G rand-fat lu-r Lennox, thee knows.' 'Tin* attaches too much im|K>rtauce to mere dress, Leah,' said Friend Decker. 'Thee must study the text of the lilies ot the field in the Bible. We shall IHJ provided for if only we can have patience to wait.' I a'all bit iter full, r.il under lip as she glanced around the sparsely furnished room and uoticed her father's drooping figure aud rapidly whitening head, but she made no reply as she ts>k up the coarse pile of vests on which she had been working button-bol es for a neighboring clothing contractor. 'Father's a saint," thought she, 'hut 1 am not, and lam afraid I never shall be. 1 should like to cut off Anastasia Akerly's •sirs. If every one had their rights, half of that big Lennox farm would be ours. She gained |Hssession of it by the merest legal quibble, and if father was like any one else he would have gone to law about it long a go and got back his own. And now to see it deliberately willed to some once lse I' And Leah's needle flew vindictively in and out of the cloth like a miniature javelin piercing the heart of an unseen enemy. But the next morning when Leah had gone to carry her bundle of vests home, and get another hatch of work, Friend Decker put oil his hat and buttoned his great-coat, which was getting worn at the elbows and shiny at the seauis. 'lt is a bright, clear morning, albeit a tritie frosty,' said lie. 'I think I may walk as far as Lennox farm without aggravating my cough.' And under his arm he carried a neat par cel. Old Anastasia Akerly was winding blue yarn before her tire when lie came in. She greeted him without a shadow of suspicion. Had he couie like a spy into the enemy's quarters ? '1 hope thee is well, Friend Anastasia,' said he. I have brought thee a jar of my daughter's wild plum sauce. Perhaps it may tempt, thy appetite.' 'I ain't of no consequence,' said she. 'I dunno as 1 care so much about Only there used to grow a wild plum hush on the lulls at home, and mother used to boil the plums with molasses. They were drefi'ul sour, but there was a flavor about 'em 1 hain't never since tasted. And when Mary Moore told me how good Leah's was, I kind o' notioned I'd like a taste o' 'em- Uut licali said she hadn't none to spare.' 'Leah Wiis mistaken,\said Friend Docker. 'ln our house there is always something to spare for an old friend like thee.' 'I didn't know that you looked on ine as a friend,' she said sharply. 'Thee ought to have been certain of that.' 'There was ugly things said übonttheway the Lennox property was managed,' said Miss Akerly. 'Nothing was said by me, Friend Anasta sia,' observed the Quaker. And as far as in me lies I am anxious to he at peace with all the world.' 'llumph,' said the old woman. 'Well, there ain't 110 use making up to me ; my will was drawn up long ago, and Moses Swayer is my heir !' 'Thee is welcome to do as thee likes with thy own,' said Friend Decker, calmly set ting down the jar of wild plum preserves and glancing wistfully toward the cush ioned arm-chair by the tire for his limbs were enfeebled by age and he walked a con siderable distance. But Miss Akerly did not ask him to sit down and rest, so he took [a fresh grip of his knotty cane and started on his home ward tramp. "Good morniug to thee, Friend Anastasia. 'to wlilcli the olse it is ? Father it is aw ill !' She ran eagerly with it to Frieud Decker. He looked dubiously at the outside. 'Thee is right, Leah,' 'said he, 'Friend Auastusia's heart has softemsl towards us This is doubtless the will she mentioned— the w ill iu favor of Moses Sawyer. She has sent it to us to destroy. Nay, daughter, nay,' as Leah eagerly caught it up and hastened toward the tire. Give it to me. It I is not for us to make or meddle. If Friend * ,, Mll ■ ■ Manual 'Jig will deal roved sljc_ should have done it herself. I shall ialte it hack to Friend Johnson, the executor.' "Father," cried Leah, thee would not give him the w ill ?' 'Does thec think it would lie an honorable thing to destroy it, Leah." 'lf she wanted us to do so, father.' 'Hut we have no right to presume any thing of the sort, daughter,' reasoned Friend Decker, buttoning it up under his coat. I 'Nay, nay, do not fret.' For Leah, over come by the sudden blaze of hope, and the after blackness of despair, had hurst into a flood of tears, 'it w ill he well with us, never fear.* Judge Johnson, the great man of the iieighliorbood, received the papers with soine surprise. 'December sixth,' he read. •Hum,' this is the latest document she has executed. Oh, yes ! I remember it very well ; I drew it up myself. Hut why did you bring it here Friend Decker. The ohl man hriefiy related the circum stances. 'Old people are apt to be capricious,' said he. 'Doubtless the trilling matter of the plum sauce pleased her and she sought to reward us. Hut 1 should never take ad vantage of Friend Moat-s by burning the will.' 'But why in the name of common sense should you burn it ?* said the judge. Are you in the habit of having estates left to you every day, that you dispose of them so readily ?' 'I don't think I quite understand (liee, Friend Johnson,' said Decker. Hut Leah's face brightened like a rose. '1 sec ! I see !' she cried 'Father, Friend Anastasia has done right, late though it be. She has willed the Lennox farm to thee." And Leah sjioke truly. The dead woman made tardy reparation in her last legal pos sessions of what should long ago have lieen their own. No amount of reasoning or ro inonstrance hail availed, bat one of those sudden touches, which, "striking the elec tric chain wherewith we're darkly bound," sway the 'soul with disproportionate force had induced her to perform an act of justice at last, and the jar of wild plums, with its train of associations, had Iteen the most el oquent pleading of all. BE CAREFUI, WITH FIREARMS. A Sensible Man Never Fools" With Either n Gun sr a IMstol. Never handle fire arms carelessly. I used to do it but of late years it makes me boil to have anybody point a gun or pistol toward me. Two events in my life have done more to inspire within me a whole some respect for firearms than anything else that ever happened to me. When I was about 15 years old, I bor rowed a shotgun of a clinm. "Is it loaded ?" was the first question I naked. "No," was the reply, and I, like a goose, believed what he said. On the way home with it, I met another hoy who began dodging behind the shade trees as I approached, Indian fashion. I, of course, must do my part of the tragedy, so cocking the gun, I began to skulk too, until, when we finally met, to show that he was plainly in my power, I put the muzzle of the gun up close to bis nose ami pulled the trigger. T thought no more of the circumstance until evening, when I began cleaning the gun, and found that it was clogged up, so I could not blow through it Procuring a cap I placed it on the nipple, and going to the to the front door, pulled the trigger and a- Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance. Ii way she went, with a report that awoke the uelghlNtrs for blocks around, anil tilled the i- leave* of a cherry frit* near ly ns full of >1 holes as a skimmer. >1 Then 1 thought of Tom, into whose face I had sn:ip|N-i| the gilii. The fact that the cap 11 had become damp alone prevented the gun I. frcm being discharged and blowing Tom's II head into smithereens. s Though his after life was a lizzie, and he r tilled a drunkard's grave at MII early age,yet how my life would havohlighttd if, through is my boyish carelessness, he had lieeu killed. I vowed a vow at that time never to becaro i less with. Hrearin*. t One more circumstance occurred after I 1 bad grown to manhood. 1 was standing on a pile of lumber busily engaged in uieasiir • ing lumber, when, hearing a "click" be t hind me, 1 turned, and there stood a hoat man poiuting an army musket squarely at , my head, ami sighting along the barrel. The muzzle of the guu was only six feet from my head, aud he just snapped it at uie. s lie will a man 50 years old, aud, under the i first angry impulse that came over we, I I said : "You old fool, you ought to kuow better thau to snap a gun at a fellow's head in i that careless way." i "Aw, phaw !" said he "iti su't loaded." "How do you know that ?" "Ik-cause it has been lying around ray boat for more than six months, and 1 know i it isn't." That's just the reasou you dou't kuow anything about it," said I. "Wall, now, you're makiug such a fuss about it, I'm going to get a cap. and show you. Here hold the guu till I come back." While be was gone I ran the ramrod down the barrel and found that it was loaded. When he returned with a cap 1 removed the old one aud replaced it with a new one. Pointing the gun upward I pulled the trigger, and a rc|ort followed the recoil from which nearly knocked uie off the lumber pile and raised the boatman's hair on end. "What do you think'uow," I asked. "Well," said he, "that's the last time I shall jioint a guu at anybody if I live 100 years." A damp cap alone saved me that time, and though I should not have beeu to blame yet this event would have blighted my life still mors effectually than the first one, for it would undoubtedly have blown my head off my shoulders, ami a man who finds himself in that condition can but ac knowledge that his life is, in a measure, blighted, and his future plans and pros pects somewhat interfered with. I Don't fool with firearm*. If a gun is ( loaded, and everybody knows it is Joaded, there is little danger. It is the gun and the 1 revolver which is not loaded that goes off and kills folks, or maids them for life. So the only sale way is to handle them at all times as though they were loaded. (Jet into the liahit of so doing, then it will become natural and easy to you, and you < may Is* spa ted the agony of gazing upon the ( I mangled form of some friend through whom you have let daylight. point the muzzle away from other people. I The Joker Outjoked. From the St. Paul Globe. A thrilling though true story rela ting to a prominent merchant of St. Paul,but who is now visiting the lake has just leaked out. The man in question had attended a fashionable dinner party and bad imbibed rather freely of champagne, so much so that on returning to his office he felt an ir- 1 rcsistable impulse to play on somebody ' a practical joke. His quick wit soon came to his rescue. Managing to reach bis telephone he called up an undertaker, and representing himself to be tbe Coroner, ordered bim to come immediately and remove a dead 1 man. lie telephoned to another un- 1 dertaker the same message, and still another. Not satisfied yet he called a fourth —urging them to hasteD. He then threw himself on a sofa to await 1 the fun. He soon, however, went to sleep, and when tbe undertakers came be was dozing away in a half-drunken stupor. The undertakers soon under stood tbe situation and whispered a short time among themselvea A few minutes after they were seen 1 to carry one of the boxes into tbe of- * fiee, and soon returned with it, lifting ( it with much exertion into the wagon. 1 When tbe man awoke he found him- ' self stark naked on a marble slab in a dissecting room of a prominent estab lishment of St. Paul. 'Let me see, ; said a thin, gaunt young fellow, who J was sharpening a scalpel, 'shall we cut s out bis left lung first or his right ?' i The intoxicated man began to doubt t whether he was dead or alive, Tbe < cold sweat began to come out on his ( forehead. He found himself unable to ( move a muscle or utter a word. t 'Oh, it don't make much difference,' 1 answered the person addressed, a still t more gastly-looking specimen, who 1 was wiping a long dissecting knife i near the bead of the doomed man. £ 'We can sever the jugular first and J then decide what to do,' As he spoke 3 bo put his cold wet hand on theshcul- c der of tbe man and held the knife as if 6 about to dissect him. The man ad- j rnits that tbe sensation was peculiar ; tbe touch of the band, however, acted like au electric shock and with a pierc ing yell, the 'dead man'jumped sever- 1 al feet away from his persecutors and reached the outside of tbe door, only to hear them roar with laughter as 1 they shouted to hiui, 'Hold up, Jim, t it's only a practical joke, you know ; v better come back and get your vest on.' I —SUBSCRIBE for the JOURNAL. T NO. 47- been set out. Tbey were telegraph poles at first but, shortly after they was put out, although tbey were dead when tbey were put out, tbey com. menced growing and tbey just bad to take tbe wires off 'em an' let 'em rip. Wonderful country aint it V 'Yes ; by tbe way what will yon take for your place ? •I'll sell it to you cheap, considering tbe fack that tbey are abont to lay off a town on it You may have my fifty acres for sloo.' 'That's certainly cheap.' 'Reckon ft is. What do yon say f 'lt is suspiciously cheap. Wby are you so anxious to sell ?' •Wall, as I tell you, tbey are goin' to build a town bere an' I don't want no noise and confusion about me. What do you say P 'Don't believe I want to bay.' 'Say take it for SSO. I can't stand noise, recolleck.' 'No, I don't care to invest' 'How will $25 strike you.' 'Not very welL' 'What would you say to sls P 'No. I'm obliged to you.' 'Wall, git outen bere now—git 1 You would paralyze any boom the country ever saw. Bill,' calling his son, 'fetch mj gun here, and if this fellar is in sight three minutes from now I'il take a crack at bim. Git !'— Arkanmxo Traveler. A Lumberman Paralyze* a Spirit. A pretty good story is told on Dave Reynolds of Reynoldsville. Dave is a droll genius and loves s joke as well as Christ Miller, while in New York a few years ago, Dave stopped at tbe Continental Hotel with some other gentlemen from bis native town. Bills of fare were placed before tbe guests, and soon all were supplied except Dave. But be still sat there contemplating tbe outlandish French names on tbe bill of fare and trying to figure oat what it all meant, until the waiter,who stood behind bim, began to get tired aDd finally asked : 'Well, what will you have, Mister V Dave straighten ed up a little, looked tbe waiter in the eye, and said in distinct tones; 'Bring me a Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, please.' One Cashier that Is Safe. "I see you have a new cashier," remarked the president of one bank to another. "Yes, we set him to work yesterday." "Had any experience ?" "Lot's of it." "Under heavy bonds, I suppose. Oar man is under $150,000. "Well, no ; we did not require big bonds." "Great heavens, man, he'll run off in two weeks with the whole bank." "We have every confidence in him." "Well, you'll pay dearly enough for it. He'll be in Ctnada inside of a month." "J think not. You see, he has just run a way from a Canadian bank with 5200,000. I think he is safe enough. NlWiriPfß LAWS If HubMiibera order the dtseontimiailon of newspapers, the publisher* may continue to send them until elf arrearages are paid. If sutmcrlhers refuse or neglect to take their newspapers from the office to which they are sent they are held responsible until they have nettled the bills and ordered them discontinued. If subscribers move to other places wtthoutlu forming the publisher, and the newspaper* are sent to bte. AOVIKSDtO IUTM, lwk. i ino. ISrooe. 6moa lyeer 1 square 200 #4OO 1 500 #6 W #BOO Kooluinn 400 6 001 10 00 1500 18 00 S " 700 1000 1600 3000 4600 r " 1000 16 001 25 00 4500 7500 One Inch makes a square. Administrators and Executor*' Notice* #*.so. Transient adver tisements and locals 10 cents per Hue for flint Insertion and 5 ceuts per line for each addition al Insertion* 1 Great Advantage. - ' Tbe 'boom' spirit has taken sach possession of tbe west that people who are looking for locations baye become accustomed to high exaggera tion. 'Do you want to sell your farm V was asked of an old fellow. 'Wouldn't mind it.' 'Land rich ?' 'Cream's poor compared with it.' 'Healthful neighborhood ?' 'Ain't anybody ever died here yit. Cal Gruder's son died some time ago in Texas, and they fetched bim home to bury bim, an' dinged if be didn't get well before tbey got through tbe funeral sermon.' 'lt must be bealthfuL 'That's wbst it is* See that feller goin' long yonder ?' •Yea' •Walks pretty well, doa't be ?' 'First rate.' 'Wall, 1 know something abont him in connection with this here climate that will sound sorter strsnge.' 'W bat's that.* >Wali when that fellar come here be bad only one leg.' 'You don't mean it!' 'Yes, I do.' 'I have beard so much concerning this part of tbe country that I am now prepared for almost anytbiog, but I must coolesß that you astonish me.' 'lt'sa fact all tbe same. Only bad one leg wben be come bere, but putty soon another one commenced to grow ovV 'Grow right on tbe stump of tbe old one, eb ?' No,sir ; never bad a stump. Was born with only one leg. Do you know thai there ain't a man in this country that drawß pension from tbe govern ment ?' ■No ; is that a fact ?' 'A flat-footed faok. Their arms and legs have growed oat ti!l tbe gov erument has refused to give them pen bions.' •Good frnit country ?* 'Well, tolerable, but it ain't very good fur apples, fur tbe trees grow so higb that tbe yocng apples die of tbe cold. See that long row of big trees over yonder ?' Yes.' r. Hmd J u4