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A PAPKK POlt THE HOJIH ('IKL'MO
MILLHEIM PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST IS., ISS7.
liIYERMOKK (IKKiIiS.
The Sinister Minuter !u \V lite It a t.aii
olu* Young >lan Wan Left.
I'IIAPTKK I.
N'olhul v will Im> sai'iirlsisl to learn that a
certain college boast* among it* pupil* a
young a.all liy the name of .1. l.ivertaore
(iriggs, from Milk Creek, Wis. Aspirants
for collegiate honors generally hail from
Milk Creek, Wis., or Itiilterinilk Falls, N.
V., though Mis* l.uella I'lllner Daggett
sometlines comes from Grass Valley, Cal.
All of this is a law of nature.
In the early days when our classical stu
dent rode horse to plow corn or smacked a
churn handle up and down, or superintend
ed the lire under the vernal snip kettle, he
was saluted hy the name "Johnny," and he
W.l* supposed to reside 'two miles and a
half north of the earner* lint when he
went to college all this underwent a change
that was new and also strange. He deter
mined to break his birth's invidious bar, to
grasp the skirts of happy chance and grap
ple with his evil star. In pursuance of this
design he ehungtsl his name in the next
college catalogue frni John 1,. to J. l.i\ <-r
--more, and tried to change the Milk Creek to
Foil du Lac; hut in this his evil star over
c line him.
To young men from Milk Creek, the most
iin|M>rtaiit ]M*ople of this earth are college
fw id ties : none can \ i- with them in social
or intellectual position. Learning brings
iconoclasiu. J. Liver more unseated the
jsistmaster of Milk Creek from liis mind's
throne and in his place crowned the college
president, ltut learning brings ambition ;
what if this student could raise himself to
the president's proud rank ? This lieeame
the dream of his lite ; lie thought of it as he
looked out ago in the Latin dictionary,as he
swept out his little riNiin, as hcstum{K<d his
landlady for another piece of pie. So much
did lie dwell on it that one day when it
socmod that he must go mad, there dashed
into his mind the wild amhitiou|toally him
self hy marriage with the president's fami
ly, and have the world at his feet.
Thus were his thoughts brought to An
gelina, the bright young creature who is to
bo the heroine of our sketch. Hut how
should J.Livermoro take the tirst step —that
of making her ncqniutancc ? As yet he did
not know her. J. L. solved the problem by
haying an umbrella. Why keep the reader
ill sus|M>use as to the deep scheme that lind
worked itself out in J. Liveruiore's fresh
man hraiu ? His plan was this : When a
rain should come, he would scour the town,
find Angela hv mere chance, and extempor
aneously offer his protection. The rest
would follow.
t'll AI'TKK 11.
lii his simple youth,.!.Livormore h;ul hal
a friend, Nicholas Smith hy name, who was
still adhearing to the farm and wearing lu
bricated boots as of old. In his Tennyson
iau day-dreams our hero, after iiiiagiiiing
himself at the highest rung of the ladder,
hod derived much satisfaction from pictur
ing, Nicholas a* standing in the furrow for
the purjH(.*e of InqTrtrtng ; ' iJouh tlLI
friend rememlier me And J. L. had d
termined that lie would not rememlsT Mr.
Smith to any abnormal extent. Nicholas
had never as yet thought of love. Ixive
had never entered Nicholas' mind. Neith
er in the simplicity of his life had he known
of social distinctions—except, indeed, to
coinpreliend that there were people far from
being exalted as himself. Nicholas is one
of our heroes, aud when he was arrayed in
his liest, no cheaper suit for the money
could lie found anywhere.
Nicholas enters our story on a load of
wood which he was driving to the very col
lege town where J. Livermore aspires to the
daughter of the college president. There is
no hand liefoie him, no procession of public
citizens following him, to interrupt our
view. Therefore, if we use the opjmrtunity
we ran obtain a sight of him which, with
economy, will last us for years. It so hap
pened that Nicholas overtook J. Livermore,
and it Impelled too,that he asked if "John
ny wouldn't ride." As Mr. CJriggs, for li
nancial reasons which we will not enter in
to, lived a long way out of town, he put his
dignity into his otherwise empty pockets
and rode. He listened condescendingly to
young Smith's budget of news alotit the
crops and the new lightning-roils that had
gone up, and when the wagon reached the
suburbs, dropped off lx-hind, craftily ex
plaining that he "would walk the rest of
the way for exercise." What that ride cost
him will appear in the next chapter.
CIIAITKU 111.
"Fat, Fat, Fat*!"
This Is not a professor calling the janitor.
It is a vivid scenic effect showing a rain
storm that came up while ,1. Livermore was
at recitation. It was the first rain follow
ing the purchase of the umbrella. J. L. was
excused, went to the cloak-room, and with
out loss of time began to tear his hair. He
had left hi* umbrella on the load of wood.
But be remembered that fortune always fa
vors the brave man—who is in luck—and
he hnrriisi to the market-place. Turning
into that street, he saw Angelina not three
blocks ahead. Further on, the wagon of
Nicholas. What else did he sec? Well,
we may lie sure that he saw all there was to
see, and that consisted of the following
tableau : Angelina approolies the wagon
of Nicholas. This one here stops yelling :
"Here's where you get ver elegun shag
hark hick'ry," and eyes the maiden with
open mouth. Instantly he loves. He seizes
the umbrella off the lo:id, and places him
self at the maiden's side. J. L. rushes up
just in time to hear the maiden say to Nich
olas : "1 think 1 will have to take your
arm."
J. L. did not rush up expressly to hear
this, hut he got there on time.
"It's notion* lint a fresluna's uiubrel,"
says Nicholas.
"O, those fresh !" cries Angelina ; and J.
L. walked two miles in the rain to his lioard
ing-place.
CHAPTER IV.
Hut the reader has read the character of
our hero to little purpose if he imagines
that this contre-temps left him nothing hut
despair, lie determined now not to seek
admiration but to command it. In accor
dance with this design, he let his hair grow
long, his face white, w'ore an uneven pair
of side-whiskers, and began to appear in
public with a library under bis arm. There
would ho no use, with our limited space, to
deny that, at this epoch, he looked brainy.
When people saw him with his head on one
side, a finger and thumb pulling at a wisp
of red whisker adjoining liis ear, they in
variably said : "Hero is the human mind
iu action." And they wore filled with awe.
And at last come a second opportunity.
The president, who entertained very hand
somely, threw open his house to the Kuta
11.1 gas. lie gave a cattily pull. J. L. was
there In Prince Albert coat ami full-dress
pijsriMills. He sal apart with gloomy
brow aud fohh-d arms.
"A penny for your thoughts," said An
gelina, after an hour or more, iu which J.
Livermore Wcaine slightly tired of his im
pressive attitude ; "what are you thinking
of ?"
He started out of his imitation reverb*
with artificial Plank tic**: "I was thinking,"
lie answered simply.
"What of?" asked the young woman,
who was a perfect conversationalist.
"You are so bright aud gay you would
not care to know."
•'Yes 1 would."
"I was revolving iu my mind tin- condi
tion of Athenian existence."
"Well, you going to have some candy ?"
"All, candy, candy ? No; no candy."
"What's the matter ?"
"I don't care for eating.*;
"You don't."
"No it interferes with reflection."
Angelina ejaciilahxl a "ha" through her
lovely nose. "You must have a good lmard
iug-placc if you get enough to do that.
Where do you Ixnrd
"Near the stone mill."
"Way out there !"
"It is peaceful ami quiet, with nothing to
disturb my thought*."
"That is so," said the young lady kindly;
"luff there are some real cheap lioardiug
places right in town. Why don't you try
them ?"
This was a staggerer to a man who was
jiosing as a mighty thinker, hut, with true
freshman craft, J. Livermore not only ral
lied hut made an adroit attack at the same
time. "I must Is* among the daisies and
featherltells if 1 write poetry."
"If yon what f"
"Write jsietry."
"I thought that only seniors wrote joc
try."
"True, hut since seeing a certain young
lady, I have fairly thought in numbers."
"What uumbers asked Angelina, with
great interest. Number tens?"
"You make me confess myself. It is you
who have waked all my jioteiit nature. 1
feel that with you to inspire me 1 could
write volumes—volumes. Then when the
world praised me, 1 would point to you and
say : "Hers is the meed."
'Angelina turned her face away, siully
vvijied off a smile, aud answered, solemnly :
"It can not be ; I am already engaged."
"Then yours will not be the meed."
"I don't care for Xny mead," replied An
gelina, purposely mistaking bis beautiful
language ; "soda water is good enough for
me."
The lofty ambition of Livermore was
crushed at one blow. The president bad no
more daughters. "Whom will you wed?"
lie cried ; "some proud senior ?"
"No, indeed : I shall marry Mr. Nicho
las Smith, of Milk Creek."
"Nick Smith ? What a fate !"
"You are very rude," cried Angelina.
"Mr. Smith is a true gciiTTciiiAii ; Be vrnttM
not board out hy the mill and eat cabbage
to save a dollar a week ; he wouldn't
buy an umbrella and go stioopiug around
town a year "
But J. L. waited to hear uo more. Mad
ly he rushed out in the night. Those who
saw the expression of his face as lie passed
out fell back in awe ; for it was the ex
pression of one who has determined to leave
immediately. The next day he took his
rhyming dictionary down town and con
verted it into gold. Later he reeled p;ist the
college president, smoking a drug store ci
garette.
"You were lucky to get me," said Angel
ina to Nicholas, after their nuptials had
lieen celebrated. "I have Ihxmi proposed to
hy thirty-nine fresh tneuat different times."
The last one was your friend, Mr. Griggs."
"Oh, him ?" said sturdy Nicholas ;
"gosh !"
Men-of-Wurmen's Gossip.
"Bpeakin' of birds," said old Tom Top
sail, "1 don see why jioople make such a
fuss about English sparrows. If they was
Mexican crow canaries, now, ther'd be
some sense to it."
Tom stopped, knowing that ho would be
asked for an explanation.
"Why," resumed Tom, when the expect
ed question had been asked, "crow canaries
are birds found only in Mexico. They are
about the size of a crow, and have yellow
lK>lies [and black wings. Forty or fifty
years ago a Germain ship that had about
10,000 canaries on hoard was wrecked off
Cant peachy. The canaries, most of 'em,got
away, and took to the woods. There were
only common crows there before, but now
the erow canaries are as common ;is IH*IIS
on a Dago's jacket. They are beautiful
birds, and sing bass. Tell yon, a big flock
of'em, when they get into a tree aud tune
up, soun like so litany bass viols. Mighty
curious thing to hear, and breaks a man all
up the first time he hears it."
The crowd said they should think it
would.
"But it ain't so scary a thing, after all, as
to hear a chorus of crocodiles singing in the
moonlight. When we was in the Amazon,
whenever the ship's band struck up, the
crocodiles would put on full cry, and,
though the band master put all his men on
bass drums, the crocodiles would plrovvn
'em out every time. Crocodiles are know
ing, hut they will go to sleep on the sand
when the sun's hot. Then is your time to
catch hold of 'eiu,and, with a quick motion,
over with 'em. 1 tnrned one over, and we
manacled him and got him on lsiard ship.
1 cut my name on his hide, and when we
got him into New York 1 sold him to Bar
naul."
"NVell, I'll lie goldarned !" said Ben
Pipecly, the old soldier, who had served
twenty-five years in the regular army. "I
saw him in Barnum's museum in IS(>3 with
your name on him, but I never thought I
should know you. Shake !"
And the alliance of the two services was
cemented on the spot.
A Devoted Relative.
The worthy Guibullard has just lost his
mother-in-law.
He had the following touching inscription
engraved on her tombstone :
"She lived but for my happiness ; in
fact, she'd do anything for me. Her death
proved it."
-First-class iob work done at the
JOURNAL office.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
WKItK \VK A FA It 51 Kit.
Hero Are n Few Things We Ortululy
Would Not lo.
I __
Sleep on nn old packed straw bod
when there win clean, bright straw to
bo had. *
Spend ovon one hour idly in town
till wo had wood nndkindling cut and
piled near the kitchen stove to last at
leust six weeks ahead as a foundation,
below which the wood pile should not
drop.
Compel our children to (at from
soiled dishes, andthus educate them in
sloveuliness
Break our backs on feats of strength
to see which neighbor could lift the
most, thcu grunt for a mouth, and let
our wife lug a swill pai! to and fro.
Borrow any tools or other articles
unless the owner would agree to come
for them and take them home after
we are through with them.
Pile or hang soiled clothes in a bad
room till it smelt like shop washing.
Let the calf chew harness except it
belongs to a visitor we never wish to
see again.
Spend more for beer than for books,
or more for tobacco tbao for news
papers.
Never give a note to any man if
we could help it, aud never sign a
contract with a stranger.
Drop tools etc., where they were
used, and thus spend an hour or a
day burning fur them.
Never ask or expect our children to
cut wood, hoc, mow, or do any kind
of farm work except with the best of
tools in good order, lest tbey tire of
farm life and go to the devil across
lots.
Would have no more land to culti
vate than we could keep entirely free
from weeds*
Never leave a horse standing in a
storm, or out in the cold while we
were in town.
Never have more pnimals than we
had good shelter for.
Never neglect to vote, and this ac
cording to our judgment, without re
gard to prcjuice.
Never sell the best and keep the
poorest, but would have everything
from wile, children, cattle, barn,
wood-shed, stables, furniture and food
the best that could be produced, even
if all we had that could bo loaded on
one wheelbarrow.
Would envy no man, but so live,
that others may envy us.
Nor would we ever permit the cel
lar to be a dirt filled disease breeder
—" Brick 1 ' Tomery in Advance
Thought.
I'sed Perfumery In the Dark.
'To catch up a bottle of perfume
and dab the stopple at one's upper lip''
said a fashionable girl to me, "is a
fashionable trick with many women I
know. I've sceu lots do it, and did it
myself the other night. Starting to
see Langtry I did that trick in a dark
room and have quit it altogether.
You see I ran back for a glove but
toner, and prowling over the dress
ing-case struck the glass stopple of a
bottle of 'Cherry Blossom,' caught it
up and smoothed it across my upper
Hp and gave two little dabs behind
my ears so my neighbors should have
a smell. 'Tisn't 'Cherry Blossom/
after all, thought I ; it's the 'White
Rose,' extract all the same. And I
pranced down and joined my party.
We had got into a car when some one
said .* 'Good Mercy ! what have you
got on your face V 'The usual a
mount of powder I suppose,' I replied
aggressively. 'Why you've got a
purple mustache' Great heavens ! it
broke on me in a minute. That nasty
bottle of scented ink that I myself had
carelessly left on the dressing-bureau!
There was no Langtry for me that
night. Nino-tysix washingsonly weak
ened the stain. Sandpaper and
pumice-stone have removed some of
my lip, but it's so dark now(ten days
ago it happened) that folks say to me:
'You must stop using that vaseline ;
you certainly are getting a mustache ;
and just behind ray ears arc two spots
that look as if mortification had taken
place.'— Albany Journal.
When Ttaby waa sick, we pavo her Caaiorla,
When sho was a Child, she cried fur Castoria,
When sho became Miss, sho clang to Castoria,
When sho had Children, she gare them Castoria,
Quite too Enthusiastic.
Wife—What flu you think of the now
girl, John ?
Husband —Was that her that just let me
iu?
Wife—Yes.
Husband—Well, she's just a daisy.
Wife(icily)—Think so ?
Husband (enthusiastically)— Think so!
Why, sho has a complexion like a moss
rose, and like—like—l don't know what.
And her teeth are splendid, too.
Next day when John went home to din
ner he w is let in by a girl with a complex
ion 1 ke polished ebony, eyes as large as
saucers and teeth like two rows of piano
keys.
NO. 32.
NKWBJAPBR UWB
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▲ DVBRTnilltO RATM~
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al Insertion
Secretary Whitney's New Katate.
Ao interesting story may be told of
how tie Secretary managed to win
over the tormer proprietor of the es
tate (Grasslands) the tenacity of the
old-time Maryland or Virginia plant
er tor bis patrimonial estate is pro
verbial. He would often rather eke
out an existence of debt and incon
venience than to sacrifice'bis acres and
live in competency and relief. With
out a word the Secretary made up his
mind what he was willing to pay for
far the estate, which comprised 105 a
crcs. Instead of greenbacks, prom
isscries, bonds, mortgages, and such
mythical evidences of tangible values
to the average rural mind, the Secre
tary converted the whole sum - into
hard bimetallic cash, 'eagles' with
golden wings and 'standards' bearing
the legend 'ln God We Trust.' He
drove to the mansion, and seating
himself at a rickety table of the co
| louial era, placed the bags of ringing
; coin before the mystified relic of the
j old regime. Twenty thousand in
sight versus speculative crops, realist
| ic taxation and increasing ratio of 'di
lapidation was enough to shake even
the traditional loyalty of long-suffer
i ing aud impecunious legatee of an an
cient family and noble name. The
bargain was struck. The Secretary
that evening drove back to town the
proprietor of a beautiful estate, the
planter remained with bis docats.
Twenty thousand dollars restored the
old family seat to more than its form
er splendor, and never was hospitality
more lavishly dispensed than it is to
day under its generous host and
hostess.— Philadelphia Times.
A Cat's Fight With Sparrows.
A stray tabby strolled into the residence
of Mrs. Captain H. 11. Drown a few weeks
ago, and at once made arrangements to stay
permanently. A number of sparrows hare
long been in the habit of nesting under the
eaves of the Methodist Book Concern and
in the rear of the C.,H.and D. offices and on
the roof of Sunderbruch's floral establish
ment on West Fourth street, which over
looks Mrs. I) rown's backyard. Crumbs of
bread were thrown out, and the inquisitive
sparrows were not long in learning the fact.
Yesterday pussy made np her mind that
sparrows were good to eat, and squatting
close on the brick pavement watched the
chirping fighting fallows "as they gobbled
up the bread cruinta. She selected a fat
one and pounced on it with a spring. The
flock all arose a few feet in the air, and
then, as if recognizing the fact that one of
their number was attacked, all circled and
{touuctxl on the cat's hack. Then the circus
Itegun. The cat scratched, bit, jumped and
pawed. Her back was black with the
chirping, fighting, picking nuisances. The
noise they made aroused a Scotch terrier,
which rushed out of a dry goods box and
barked vociferously. The cat flew at him
and scratched him severely in the right
eye. The sparrows chirped and flew, and
the cat struck right and left, and at last lay
down and rolled over, crushing several
with the rapidity of her motions, and tear
ing the feathers off from a score or more as
they flew abont her head. At htst they
flew away, and tabby quietly mouthed her
bird and inarched into the front fi&rlor,
purriug with conscious pride, while the
yard was strewn with feathers enough for a
good-sized bed.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
\ * *
Tough Snake Story.
Speaking of snake stories, here's one
from DouglassvUle, Ga., and if the
author of it is not already president of
the club he'll get there before long. A
short time back Mr.Aderhold witnessed
a large snake swallowed a nest of par
tridge eggs on which the partridge
hsd been sitting and was nearly ready
to batch. A few days later Mr. But
ler came across the same snake sur
rounded by a conyey of young par
tridges, the eggs having been hatched
while in the snake and passed oat in
the form of young birds, to which her
snakesbip seemed very much attached.
And a few days later on, Mr. McEl
reatb was through an oats patch near
by, and was attacked by a snake pass
ing through the oats with its head ele
vated about even with the top of the
oats, which were beaded out, and on
examination found the snake was
picking the kernels from the beads of
the oats and dropping them on the
ground to feed tLe young partrid es,
which were following along by her
picking them np.
Africa's Age of Stone.
Many travelers have failed to discover
any stone implements in Africa, and in
view of the comparative rarity of these Audi
it seems probable that the use of these man
ufactures was never so prevalent among the
ancient inhabitants of Africa as among the
prehistoric races of Europe and America.
A possible reason for this may be found in
the fact that in no part of the world do out
cropping® of iron cover so large an area as in
Africa. It is within easy reach of the na
tive tribes, and those destitute of it are sup
plied in the native markets with is manu
factured product by those that have learned
how to smelt iron ore.
It is not at all unlikely that before the
making of stone implements had become a
great industry in Africa, as it did in more
northern latitudes, some ingenious tribe dis
covered the uses and advantages of iron. It
is proverbial that news spread rapidly in
Africa. Tribe after tribe may have learned
of this discovery until Africa suddenly
emerged into the iron age without lingering
long in the greater barbarism of the stone
epoch.