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VOL. 01.
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A I'Al'Kll FOII THE lIUMK CIItCLK.
MILLHEIM PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 11., 18H7.
TWO 8011 KM IMS.
"Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave
When First Wei'ruetlee to Deceive."
The widow Smith sat up late, reading the
count) paper ; usually the MVclfg Duilye!
did not interest her,hut oil this o c.isiou she
read and re-read a certain part of its cob
minis and laid it down at last with a sigh.
'Waulsu wife does lie?" she uiliscd a
loud ; 'lir.sl of liviu* alone. It's a pearl
ehanee for some one hi get a go.*! husband
cf lie's what be mlvertlmM.'
Then she resumed the paj - r ami studied
It carefully,
''A gmsl petvider.' Thai's one pint.
'Middle aged ami well-to-do.' Laws !ef It
wasn't for the "
The widow stopped abruptly, and 10.k.5l
around with a startleil expression.
'lt must have been the cat.' she said to
herself, '1 am as nervous as n mouse. I'm
sure there ain't any harm in it. I dare say
he'll be glad of it when ho tiuds out. If he
hadn't I teen so particular that be wanted a
widow without auy '
Then she broke oft' abruptly and sat
thinking
'l've hoerd tell," she ir.twed, That a man
who amounted tocnuythiug wouldn't have
to advertise for a wife. 'All alone in the
world.' Poor man ! I feel uncommonly
draw II toward him. 'Likes pe;tee and iiui
et.' So do I. We're of one mind there.
I'd answer if it wasn't for the"
The clock striking startled lier. After a
long tit of thinking she went to the elock
shelf and look down U )H-U and a U>ttle of
ink ; then she looked in the family Bible
aud found some writing-paier.
It took the widow Smith a long time to
couqtoHe that letter. When she ftnally h:ul
it t> her mind, she copied it, after which
she read it a great many times.
'1 lIO|M> 1 lievu't done wrong,' site said to
her conscience. 'But lean almost sis' the
hand til" Providence piutiu' the way. 'A
widower an' well-to-do, alone in the world.'
It would Is- almost wicked not to try.'
Then she wound up the clock, put the
cat out, and was soon dreaming of her new
adorer.
Mr. Josiah Brown, a comfortable farmer
who livtsl in the next township, was the man
whose lulvertiseinent for a wife had enlist
ed the sympathy of the Widow Smith. He
hud Usui in the lonely and forlorn state of a
single life, lie east his eye, figuratively
speaking, upon ail tin' widows in his neigh-
Uirliood, hut they found no favor in his
sight; so he advertised in the Weekly
Iludtjct and had half a bushel of letters
in answer to his demand. All the
answers had attractions, hut there
was only one that seemed to fulfil his
expectations. It was a tidy little missive
and was signed 'Widow Smith.' She don't
hum aud haw an' U-at round the hush, hut
cornea right to the jn.int like a man," lu-said
to himself. So he w rote to her, and in due
time a second letter catue. It pleased him
more than the tirst.
'She's Mrs. Brown No. u,' he- chuckled.
'She says she's small—l like leetlc wintmiu
—has a farm an' a good house, au' tif course
all alone iu the world or she wouldn't have
an#wred at all. Says her frieuds call her a
good hou#ekcejH?r. She's a master hand to
write—liegitis every word with a capital an"
she's aptMiititcd a mcetin' at Gabriel Sinqi
son's! Sho ! I've known Galie settee we
was lioys together. 1 wonder ef he'll help
me out alsutt tin '
The got*! man choked abruptly, and
seemed Hurried.
'She won't mind artcr we're jined. I'll
appint next Thursday to meet. Friday
ain't lucky and Saturday too near Sunday.
I'll tell Simpson to keep dark till I come
there. Wonder if the w idder *s good-look
in'. Wonder if she'll Is* disappintod ?'
The widow was tirst at Simpson's and
held tier Is-st ear for a private audience.
Then she was all smiles, talking over pick
ling and perserving receipes with Mrs.
Simpson, who was an old acquaintance.
When Josiah Brown drove up with his
span of grays, lsst Sunday coat on, best
ft H it foremost,the widow was oltserving him
from Is liind the curtains of the sitting
res mi witnlow.
'W-e-1-1 !' she saitl with a long breath, 'he
ain't to say lian'sum. lie's a little IH>W
leggetl, an' has a cast in one eye. 1 dunno
as I'd have him if it wasn't for the—'
Before she had finished Mr. Simpson was
presenting Mr. Brown, and then all hands
sat down to a 'hiled' dinner.
'I like good vittles,' saitl the widower
with a knowing glance at ids vis-a-vis the
widow, ami he p:isscd his plate for the third
time.
'S'tlo I,' responded the lady with a vivid
blush. 'Mr Smith u#ed to say he couldn't
I tear to eat away from home, 'cause we bail
such good meals.'
Mr. Brown Is-amtsl at her.
After dinner he took Simpson to one side.
'Pretty as a jieaeb an' plump as a partridge;
h>oks like she could keep house for me and
the ugh ! ugh ! ugh !'
A severe fit of coughing interrupted Mr.
Brown's recital. Simpson smiled know*
inglv.
'You're in luck if you get the widder,' he
said. 'But I can't say it's quite fair not to
tell her alsint the '
'H-u-s-li,' whispered Brown, nervously.
'lt'll lie all right. I'll make her a gotsl hus
band and she won't mind the '
Another severe tit of coughing which
nearly strangled the good man, nipped liis
discourse in the hud.
'I say, Simpson, he inquired presently,
'Has the widow any '
'None in the land of the living,'interrupt
ed Simpson hurriedly.
Mr. Brown rublssl his hands with satis
faction. Then the two joined the ladies,and
the courtship proceeded with such alacrity
that the day was set and, as a neutral
ground, Simpson's house was tendered for
the occasion.
But Mr. Brown visited the widow at her
lonely home several times, and the widow
in company with Mr. Simpson spent a day
at the Brown homestead and was ranch im
pressed with its 'pence and quiet.' She
whispered to Mrs. Simpson :
'l'm so thankful I'm goin' to marry into
a home where there ain't any '
•H-u-s-li ! he's looking at us,' cautioned
her friend.
Then both ladies laughed heartily, as if
they knew some thing that pleased them
immensely.
While Mr. Brown was showing oft' his
roomy house he hazarded a remark :
'lts kind er lonesome in a house where
there is nobody hut grown tips. I believe
you told ine you hadn't any'
'They are all in the grave yard ! every
one of 'em,poor things !' sobbed the widow,
with her handkerchief to her eyes.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
It tiMik Home time for Mr. Itrowit to undo
the mlrtt'liief He wan eom|M-|leil to
port the elittgittg lorm nml dry Ihe tears he
had drawn forth hv his e.ireless remark.
•She's u tender-hearted little thfttg !' lie
said to Simpson ; 'she'll come round nil
rl;,'ht when she sees the' Here he
stiee/asl.
'Von old Irntid !' thought Simpson, lint
h • only said, jsdltel v ; *< l" eottrse she will.'
They were married quietly, only the lm
m sliate friends of the family Is-lng prewnt
nt the ceremony, and they went to ,a town
where IIOIMMIV knew them, mid Mjient their
lioneyiit<M>n prow ling nround in eneli oth
er's eotupaity, wei-ing the sights,and were ns
s|HMmey ns tdd folks in love usually are.
Not that either of them wits old. No, in
dee.l.
When they went baek they first located
at the Itrow u homestead. As they eouldit't
live in two places at onee, the widow hod
doci led to well,and invest her money in more
la nl in the neighlxtrhood of her new home,
a plan highly approved by her new partner.
The tirst cloud on the horizon of their new
lives appeared w hen they reached home. It
was no larger than a man's hand—or a
hoy's hand—in fact,that was just the shape
it took, on the white walls.
'One would think you had a family,' said
the widow as she commenced at once to clean
house.
Mr. Itrowu looked frightened ; but he
ask<d tsildlv : My dear, don't you think
it's kinder lonesome in a bouse where there
isn't auy—'
A curious interruption hapjs*iusl. A
tris.p of half-grown boys rushed in at that
moment to welcome the bride. They did
not go through any ceremony of knocking,
and seemed very raucli at home. They
could have sung 'We are Seven,' exactly,as
to numbers.
'Who are they ?' gasped the new Mrs.
Itrown.
*l-1-1 don't know,' faltered Mr. Itrowu,
his legs shaking like castiuets. 'Hun home,
boys, r-r tin home !'
'Where - 11 we go, !\i ?' inquired the
youngest, a cherub of live.
'Ob,' g.uqied the bride, faintly, 'I thought
you wanted a quiet home! I have been
basely deceived ! You said you hadn't
any '
'ltoys, don't make any noise,' asserted
Mr. Itrown. 'An' I thought as long as tjoti
hadn't any '
'I ib, g.ssl heavens ! Who are they ?
What do you want
'We've come ma ! We're sill here !
shouted si chorus of voices, sis si whole
school fill of girls rushed iu,* please intro
duce us to our new pa.'
'But 'new Pa' had fsiiuted aud hung limp
and speechless, over the arm of his chair.
The noise brought him to. He asked if
tlic earthquake had done much damage,
and seemed iu a dazed condition for some
time. Imhsxi the shock of finding himself
tin* the trevet-jxiint of seven daughters, was
too much. His tirst intelligent wort Is
were those of reproach. Simpson had Iteen
sent for and wsis present. Mr. Brown
looked feebly at his (IUIII-MMHI wife uuti
said :
'You told lue vou hadn't anv '
'No dear, 1 saitl they were in the grave
yard. So they were, boarding with the
sexton. They're real sweet girls, seven of
them. You must love them for my sake."
"Seven ami seven make fourteen,' figured
the eldest male cherubim. Its a good thing
the house is large enough to hold us
all.'
A peace was patched tqi—several
peaces in fart, ami after awhile the new
couple found what can't Is* cured, must Is*
endured Mr. Brown ttmk the longest to
come round, hut when he did, he gave in
fully. In a moment of confidence his wife
told him that she knew lieforehand all
about the Imys, ami had taken lier own cue
from that hit of design. Mrs. Simpson
had told Iter.
Must like a woman—never can keep a
secret,' saitl Mr. Brown severely.
'Oli, no dear,' answered his wife, 'l#*-
cause, though she told me all about your
little scheme, she never said a word to yon
about mine.'
And Mr. Brown was obligtd to admit
that he was fairly beaten at his own game.
Bringing I'p Children nationally.
It is natural to a child to bft happy,
as it is to a fish to swim. But for this
they need a certain amount of 'letting
alone*. It is a great mistake for par
ents to hamper their children with
foolish restrictions. We pity the lit
tle B's oar next-door neighbor's chil
dren, from the bottom of our heart.
There is a picket fence in the front of
the bouse and they are scarcely al
lowed to go near it, lest they should
climb and hurt themselves. They can
not climb a tree tor the same reason.
They may not skate or swim or have
a gun. The consequence of this train
ing is that parents have made cowards
of them all, with the exception of little
Bessie, who is the most dafing little
mischief that ever wore a sun bonuct,
aud she has learned to be deceitful and
plays all her ntad pranks well out of
her parents,eyes. We caught her the
other day walking the railing of a
bridge that crossed the track of a rail
road a hundred feet below. The rail
ing was not a foot wide, and she tri
umphantly told us she bad walked it
while the traiu was passing under.
It was enough to make one shudder.
Dou't fancy your boy is made of
glass. Grant a reasonable request,
and let bim feel that when you refuse
it is for his own good. Between the
Jellybys and Gradgrinds of life chil
dren have a hard time of it. The
youngest child needs some sort of a
greeable occupation, and a certain a
mount of physical freedom. There is
nothing more painful to young people
than to feel that life is one dull routine
and that 'nothing ever happens' as
we once heard a disconsolate lad re
mark. — American Jlyriculturist.
—First-class iob work done at the
JOURNAL office.
NO. 31-
JINK'S' TOOTHACHE.
A Story of a Man's ( oarage anil of
a Woman's Cowardice.
'lf Ila-re's one thing morn than another
that's jM-rfeetly disgusting,' wild .links, the
ih ntist, 'it is, to sec the way a woman will
|M-rfortu when she conies in to have a tooth
draw n. There's my wife for instance ;
worked an lnur and a half hy the elock,
yesterday with that woman, trying to get
out a little Aching snag, and then she went
home with it in. One hour of the ache Is
worse than having it drawn three times o
ver,' and .links sna]i|ied his linger in con
tempt of the whole transaction.
'Squealed did sheasked iiol.hs, the
d s'tor, to w hoiu the facts were l*-ing re
lated.
'1 should remark that she did,' restuncd
.Finks, in an injured tone, 'squealed when I
lis.ked nt it, squealed when 1 selecte I the
force]m, and once, when I actually got them
on the tooth, 1 though' she would take the
roof oil.'
'Men tievtir act that way,' said Hold.*
musingly.
'-Men, well tin !' replied Jinks, 'a man
step* in like a man, open* hi* month ami
never stir* till the tooth iiysiii the spittoon,
but a woman, hah P
'That remind* me of a *tory,' *aii llohl>*.
'yon kuow Harvey, the home doctor over
at Carroll ? Well, one day lVrkin* came
into hi* otHee with hi* head tied tip and
groaning with the toothache.
'Why don't you go to a denti*t and have
it pulled ?* nay* Harvey.
'lar-*-ent,' mnmhled Perkins, 'he'll
break my jaw ; that tooth'* got double and
twisted, hack action prong*, an' aw'nery
pulling won't boost it a particle.'
'Let me pull it,' say* Harvey, iu a tri
tiing way, and lVrkin* falling iu with the
joke, said, 'aw right,' and Kittiug down on a
horse medicine l*ix, opened hi* mouth like
a yawning contribution ltox, ami indicated
the tooth.
In an iiiatant Harvey had hi* great horse
force]*) on the tooth, on the whole aide of
his head in fact, Perkins thought, and with
one mighty jerk, not only the double and
twi*ted bark-action grinder, but another
shining molar that was perfectly sound,
came out and stuck up in triumph ou the
end of the forceps. 'Je-rusalera crickets !'
whooped Perkins as he danced all the steps
he knew in his anguish. 'Did it hurt ?'
asked Harvey, eoolv. 'N-n-o-o,' replied
IVrkius gainiiy, 'the sick one didn't, but
the well one twinged a little,' and, if you'll
believe rue, Perkins is inad. and is laying
low to play a trick on Harvey.
'Well, he ought to be thankful that he es
caped a* well as he did, since be refused to
go to a dentist,' said Jinks, with profession
al feeling. 'I do despise a womanish
man !'
(hie day, not very long after this conver
sation, Jinks came into Hohh's office in a
pitiable plight : his head was done up in a
napkin and, and an aroma of camphor, lau
danum and various other drugs filled the
room as ho Mtoppud into it.
'What's the matter asked Hohbs, airi
ly : lie scented a joke at once.
'Got-er-er-toothache,' mnmhled Jinks,
crossly. It was enough to make a man
cross to see Hohh's heartless smile.
'How long have you had it?" asked
llobbs, trying to draw his face down to a
becoming length.
'Three days,' growled Jinks. 'Swelled
up bigger'n your tist."
'Well, sit right down here, and I'll take
it out for you quicker'n you can say Jack
Itoblnson,* said Hobbs, bringing out a dain
ty pair of shining forceps.
'lt's too sore,' replied Jinks, looking at
the forceps with an unfriendly eye ; they
didn't look nearly so well to him as his own
shining instruments of torture, ranged so
neatly on a little table in full view of the
silly women who occupied his chair at
times.
'Ulcerated, eh !' said Hohbs.
'Yes,' replied Jinks, 'clear from here to
there,' and he iudicated the top of his bead
and n |H.int under his cravat.
'Well, just let me look at it,' said Hobbs,
carelessly slipping the forceps into his
pocket.
'And you won't pull it V said Jinks, atix
inusly.
'Why, of course not,' replied Hobbs, de
ceitfully, 'not unless you want me to, old
fellow.'
'l—l—dassent trust you,' said Jinks, Imb
bing up, as Hobbs drew near, 'you look too
plagued tickled about if.'
'Oh, bother,' cried Hobbs, getting out of
patience, 'sit down like a man, and have it
out. One hour's ache hurts you worse than
to have it out three or four times."
'1 can't,' whined .links, 'l've been trying
to come to it these three days, an' 1 can't.
'l'll put petticoats on you, you great
overgrow n baby, if you don't stop this,'
said Hobbs, trying sternness ; 'what does
your wife say to you ?'
'B-slie knows how to p-pity me,' whim
pered Jinks, sheepishly.
'Well 1 don't,' replied Holilis, severely.
'Now, sir, when you see tit to let tne look
at that tooth,l*ll see what I can do for you,'
and so saying, he turned his back on Jinks,
and went on coin|>ouudiiig pills, while the
sufferer walked the floor, ami groaned, and
used reprehensible language at intervals.
'Say, Hobbs, I don't care if yon do look
at that tooth,' he ventured after a time.
'l'm busy,' said Hobbs, crustily, and
ranging his pills in neat, mathematical
order.
'Oh J' replied Jinks, '1 thought you had a
burning curiosity to see it,' and he moodily
resumed his walk.
'I say, Hobb, won't you please look at
that tooth for me ?' lie said presently, as an
extra twinge of pain gave his courage an
upward twist.
'And you won't back oft' the instant I come
near you ?' inquired Hobbs. 'Time's mon
ey, you remember.'
'No, 'pon my honor,' Jinks,' sittiug down
on a chair as cautiously as if he suspected
there was dynamite in it, and opening his
mouth in a small a crack ; his faith in
llobbs was not yet fully established.
'Open that mouth !' roared Hobbs.
'l 1 can't,' said Jinks, his courage be
ginning to ebb.
'Oh, very well, then,' returned Hobbs,
coldly. 'l've got some plasters to spread.'
•I—l'll try to ; honest I will ! It's swell
ed, you know,'cried Jinks, as Hobbs was
was turning away.
The mouth flew opeu,there wps the tooth,
au innocent looking aftair, loose from the
ulceration, and with a tiny swelling on one
side, the Bize of a small split pea ; out came
the forceps, and before Jinks knew just
what was happening, Hobbs had him.
NKWHfAPKK UW*
if lOilwcrih-iN the w
newspaper* tin- imi> otitim.e to
viol item until all arrearage* are paid.
II mNvilirn rrhM or BUlirt litW' lwj"
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tll<*y.ie lioUl responsible until tn\V tl.lfc s||kMl
the hills and ordered discontinued.
I f subscribers move tunilx'r piiicts without in
tormlug Ilio publisher, nt! tin' newspapera am
sent to tlx- former idnee. Iheviue r. >otnihle.
ADVBKTIBINU ttAT*a.
lsrk.il nm, ISmos. liiww. 1 rear
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Vieoluinn too 8001 Wt l'.( is 00
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I " 10 (HI 15 I*l | 45 to TAflB
One Inch makci a MWHif. ArtmlnWmloni
and K\ociitors' Not lei's fS/A Transient adver
tisement* mid locals 10 rent* tier line for Brat
intci Mm) and 5 cents per line for each addition
al Insettloii
'Leggo ! loggo !' he roiirwl, clutching
Hobbs' arm with n howl.
'Certainly, sir ; certainly,' replied Hobbs,
holding ttji the tooth in the forceps.
'lllt-ss yon, my friend j bless you,' said
.links, jumping ttji with nil ecstatic revul
sion of feeling and embracing llobbs as if
lie were a long-lost brother, and afterward
dancing a jig in his delight. 'l'll do the
same g'ssl turn for yon some day, old boy,
see If I don't.*
'I love to see a matt have a tooth drawn,'
said Hohhs, reliedlvely, ivs Jinks strutted
up am! down the nsuo with the air of a con
quering hero. 'He just comes in and sits
•low-n in the chair like a man, and never
stirs until the tooth is out ; but a wo
man-—'
I tut Jinks was gone, ami llobbs, tbfl
wretch, laughed, till the bottles jingled on
the shelves, and now he never wearies of
telling, when lie ean eateh the dentist i t a
crowd, how Jinks had the toothache.
JACKSON'S BRIDE.
The Story of a Conflict Which Settled
Who Was BOM.
Old Bud Jackson, one of the terrors
of Montana, lost bis fourth wife, and
came over into Dakota for a fifth vic
tim. lie met and married widow
Baggs, a trail, and gentle woman, who
had just been left a widow for the
third time and seemed crushed to earth
by her losses.
Mrs. and Mrs. Jackson wended their
way to Bud's Montana home, and as
the gushing bridegroom led his bride
into bis lovely cot of one room
and introduced ber to bis favorite
dogs, be said tenderly :
"You want to remember, Mrs. Jack
sen, that I'm the boss here. Don't
you never forgit that The four dear
companions that I've laid away,
mighty soon found that out. All I
ever had to do was to crook my finger
and they come a-running' to know
what I wanted. There wa'n's no
bangin' back nor askin' questions.
You see that ox gad up there f Well
that's the little arbytrater that useter
settle any slight diflTrenoes I ever had
with the four dear companions that
are gone. They ginerally suckkumed
after 'bout six licks, an' I hope you'll
be equally obeejent.
'Now s'posen' you take my boots
an' clean 'em up an' gtease 'cm.
They've got mighty muddy while we
was on our tower. Clean 'em up good.
I'm mighty pertickler 'bout my boots,
an' I'd bate to take that air gad down
the fust day you was in your new
home. Come an' poll off the boots.'
The frail, sad-eyed little bride did
not move. Her pretty lips began to
tremble, and ber gentle bosom heaved.
'You comin' V roared Jackson.
'Hev I got to snatch down that air
gad ? Ob, yer comin', eh ?'
She came. She snatched down the
gad on her way, with set teeth and
eyes that twinkled merrily she landed
within two feet of Bud. He had faced
wild-cats and hyenas, but neyer any
thing like this. A conflict ensued ;it
was short, fierce and decisive. It
ended in Bud's crawling under the
bed, and as his bride prodded him
with a hoe-handle she gailey shouted:.
"Ye pore inneroent thing ye!
Had'nt no mo' sense ner to raise the
dander of Lizy Jane Baggs Jackson,
her that never did nor will take a
word of Bass from any man living.
Ye'd better crawl under there ! Ye'd
better crawl clean through the wall.
Oh, ye'll holler 'nuff,' hey ? Wall,
you go and cot a month's supply o'
stove wood 'fore you show yer face
iu this cabin agiu. 11l learn ye who's
boss here ?'
When Baby m sick, wo gave bar Cantoris,
Whes aho waa a Child, ahe cried for Castor!*,
When ahe bocanie Mtas, ahe clang to Caatoria,
When ahe had Children, ahe gave them Caatoria,
ft
She Calmly Suffered Torture.
Mrs. Fremont, in her agreeable gos
sip about ber early life,makes mention
of a wedding dinner-party she once at
tended at Lexington, Va.-
One of the married daughters ot the
hostess noticed that though her moth
er was presiding at the dinner-table
with ber usual grace yet fleeting ex
pressions of paiu passed over ber face.
At last she sent a servant to ask if
the mother was too ill to remain and
should she, the daughter, take her
place. A motion of the head answered
LVo.'
When coffee was served in the
drawing-room, the guests learned that
the hostess had been obliged to 're
tire.' Rather than disturb the com
pany she had quietly endured the
torture.
A hornet had got canght under her
cape and had traveled about, stinging
as he went. Searching for an outlet,
it had turned down between the shoul
ders, where it browsed about the poor
woman's back.
Fever came on and the lady was o
bliged to take to her bed ; but her
training bad mode her willing to suffer
acutely at her post rather than to dis
turb the enjoyment of ber guests.—
Youth's Companion.