Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, July 14, 1887, Image 1

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    The Millheim Journal,
PUBLISHER EVERY THURSDAY BY
t\. A. SLT\(XliLll{.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn ST .nearHartman's foundry.
•1.00 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR ai.QS IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCB.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLTIKIM JOURNAL.
BUS INES S CARDS
ATIARTEU,
AUCTIONEER,
MILLHEIM, PA
1 8. STOVER,
AUCTIONEER,
Madisonbanr, Pa.
H.RKIFSNYDKR,
AUCTIONEER,
MILLHEIM, TA.
J W. LOSE,
AICTIOAEER,
MILLHEIM, PA.
L) R JOIIN F IIARTEK *
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA.
J. W. STAM,
Physician & Surgeon,
Office on Penn street,
MILLHEIM, PA.
GEO. L. LEE,
Physician & Surgeon,
MADISONBURG, PA.
Office opposite the Public School House.
P. ARD, M. D..
WOODWARD, PA.
jg O. DEININGER,
Notary-Public,
Journal office, Penn at., Millheim, Pa.
Deeds and other legal papers written and
acknowledged at moderate charges.
EORGE L. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
Shop opposite Millheim Banking House.
Sharing, Ilaircutting, Sbampooning,
Dying, &c. done in the most satisfac
tory manner.
Jno.H. Orris. C. M. Bower. Ellis L.Orris
QRVIS, BOWER & OR VIS,
Attorneys-at-Law.
BELLEFONTB, PA.,
Office in Woodlngs Building.
D. H. nestings. W. F. Boeder.
JJASTINGS & REEDER,
AUornejs-al-Law,
BELLEFONTB, PA.
Office 0 Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office ocuplcd by the late Arm of Yocum A
Hastings.
J U. MEYER,
AUorney-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE PA.
At the Office of Ex-Judge Hoy.
C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law.
BELLEFONTB, PA.
Practices In all the courts of Centre county
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
in Gorman or English.
J A. Beaver. J. W. Gephart
"gEAVER & GEPHART,
AUorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street. North of High Street
JGROUKKRHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA.
C, a. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors.
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONTE, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
JPBOFRIHTOB
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable.
Ratesinodera** tronage respectfully solici
ted My
JRVIN HOUSE,
(IfostCentral Hotel in the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S,WOODS CALDWELL
. i ■fXJjl PROPKIKTO*.
Good sameple rooms for commercial Travel- j
era on first floor.
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 01.
S. G GUTELIUS,
I)K\TIST,
MILLIIKIM. PA.
Offers his professional services to the public.
He's prepared to perform all operations In the
dental profession, lie is now fully prepared to
extract teeth absolutely without pain
Mrs. Sarah A. Zeigler's
BAKERY,
on Penn street, south of race bridge,
Millheim, Pa.
Bread, Pies & Cakes
of superior quality can t<e bought at any time
and in any quantity.
ICE CREAM AND FAN
CY CAKES
for Weddings, Picnics and other social gather
lngs promptly made to order.
Call at her place and get your supplies at ex
ceedingly low prices. Si-Sro
P. H. MUSSER,
WATCIIMAKEK*&*JEWELER,
Main Street, Millheim, Pa.,
-fJOPPOSITE THE BANK.J-t
--•&~Repair Work a Specailty. Sat
isfaction guaranteed. Your patronage
respectfully solicited. 5-ly.
THE
ATTENTION
of the public in general andjbusines men in
particular is directed to the fact that the
AvAVAV AyAyA \A\ Ay Ay Ay Ay AyA y
_ a:
j|illhf.m || Journal
printing ffl
si
IS SUPPLIED il WITII GOOD
EEEBSBBaim
iagagaHag^aaiiagagaaagaaragaa
WTa.giaigp.liT;lg*R
ißgagmisaaaJiagaja-aji waaaasaaraa
EMPLOYS |j ONLY
ill
gxpfrirorett || SRforfemfu
AND IIAS A FINE 11 SELECTION OF
||Sißiil3dßßlEßlE6d£^
DISPLAY TYPE'
LETTER HEADS 11 NOTE HEADS,
STATEMENTS, 11 BILLHEADS,
ENVELOPES, 1| CIRCULARS,
_ -a-1
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POSTERS, PAMPHLETS,
Legal Blanks, Cards,
end, inshort, neat and tasty
Job Printing of all kinds
EXECUTED PROMPTLY AND CHEAPLY.
ite lifllWii SnmaL
for Infants and Children.
"Caatoriaiaao well adapted to children that I (Materia core. Oolie, Ooutlpation,
I recommend it aa superior to auy pmaTipben I Sour dl
luwwu lo niu." IL A. Aacuta. M. D., | * prou**—
111 80. Oxford St, Brooklyn, N. Y. | Without injurious nvodioatlna,
TUB CMXTAC* CUUI-AXT, IK! Fulton Street. N. Y.
N. W. EBY,
-DISTILLER OF-
Mb Straight JL FURE M
111 RYE WHISKEY I
FOR MEDICAL USE.
Wood"S\qi<d, Geq{i<c Go., l^crjriq
SPRING IS HERE !
and with It our experienced tailor
I. "W". BVJCIC,
who has prepared himself to do all kinds of work la the moat workmanlike and satisfactory
manner. The public are cordially invited to cull and see his
Samples of Cloths and Cassimeres,
from the best and most reliable New York aud Philadelphia houses.
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
Cutting done to order and suits made in the latest styles.
DON'T FORGET THE PLACE.
Frank's Shop, North Street,
MILLHEIM. Pa.
m ntti mi art}
Warble Vovfcs. •>—
I MUSSER & ALEXANDER, Proprietors.
. MANUFACTURERS OF AND DEALERS IN
□aaaa —aaaaaa —aaaaaa —uaaaaa —aaaaaa —aaaaaa —aaaaaa
||ork t jron j|fnring, |jrns, fa.
aaaaaa—aaaaaa —aaaaaa —aaaaaa —aaaaua —aaaaaa —aaaoa
FINEST MATERIA LJBEST WORKMANSHIP, LOWEST PRICES.
Call on us at our ahopa, aaat of bridge. Uatn Bt.. Mlllhnlm. Pa. Oorreapondenca raapaotfUllf aolloltad
J. R. SMITH~& CO.,
[LIMITED.]
Nos. 220, 222 & 224 Front Street,
IMIILTOIISr, FA..
The Largest House Furnishing Emporium in
■a* Central Pennsylvania. *
THE PLACE TO GET A SQUARE DEAL AND.TIIE BEST BARGAINS.
—a
PTTPXTTTTTDP FOR PARLOR, SALOON.DINING ROOM.OFFICE,
J: U RILN IX U XVHL COUNTING HOUSE AND KITCHEN.
IT] SUITS POPE,^
Come and Visit a Pleasant Home, Artistically, Tasiily and Comfortably Furnished.
On the Second Floor we have
rf WHOLE HOUSE EUSWISHE®
—and thoroughly equipped to show our goods and how to arrange your homeUpleasantly.—
—a —
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS Of all IMs and the LATEST SHEET HUSiC.
We soil the following celebrated.Pianos:
CMICKERING, KNABE, WEBEK, BIEHR BROS., GUILD, VOSE AND
W NEW ENGLAND.
A better Piano sold here at a lower price than any house in til state. We have no rent and hav
supervision of our own business. AIl the PIPE ANI) CABINET ORGANS. Everything
at bottom prices. A postal card to us may save you 25 per cent.
O > v . v
CARPETS TO SUIT ALL.
AXMINSTEIi, VEL VETS, BODY BRUSSELS, INGRAINS BAGS,
Alii SQUARES, BUGS, MATS, MATTING, STOVE AND
FLOOR OIL CLOTHS.
The Finest Assortment of
Silverware, China, tilan and Stoneware. Lamp*, Chandeliers A Bric-a-Brae
ever seen. Our Curtain and Upholstering Department Is not surpas scd in the cities. Hotel
Churches and Private Residences Furnished at short notice and at low rates.
Our immense Building Is literally packed with goods from attic to cellar. We are enabled to sell
the lowest because we sell tne most. Everybody visits us and thinks our house a
marvel. Tbe handsomest Side-Boards. Escritoires, ChitTonieres, Writing
Desks, Hall Racks, Slate aud Marble Mantels In tbe land.
Busy all the time. Every Bid a Sale
A PAPER FOR TUB HOME CIRCLE.
MILLHEIM PA., THURSDAY, JULY 14.. 1887.
ELSIE'S RIGHTS.
'lt's a nice farm,' said Mr. Hubbard
Spruce,us stood ou tlie top of Chalk Hill,
from whom* |s-ak Chalk Farm lay spread
out la-fore hint like a panoramic display.
'A very nice farm. No ulcer iu the m igh-
Isirhood.'
'And a house with all the modern im
provements,' said Mrs. Hpruee, her thin lips
widening Into a spasmodic smile. 'll does
seem us if luek had reaehed us at last !'
'And we eun keep a hired girl, ma, cau't
we ?'said lleh-tta Elvira Spruee, who hod
her gowns imule long aud struight, witli lit
tle'ruffles around the skirt,and big shoulder
puff's, to look 'spirit uelle.' 'lt's such
drudgery to wash dishes uud scrape frying
pans !'
'Of course !' observed Mrs. Hpruee. "I
am sorry for my poor te|isou, Paul. But
Paul would have lieen alive now if he had
taken uiy advice aud stayed at home, in
stead of goiug out to Ncvndu, silver-huut
iug.'
'Paul was always a headstrong hoy,' said
Mr. Spruce, smoothing down the crujie
hand on his straw hat—'always !"
Aud so the Spruce family came down the
hill, through the sweet pine woods, softly
carpeted with tiny pine needles, and across
fields all golden with buttercups, to the
snug farm house under the monster syca
more trees.
And there, on the steps, sat a pretty
young girl, H<s*miiigly not more than eight
een or nineteen years old, with a traveling
hug in her lap, ami a liluek barege veil gut
tering in the evening hris-ze. Her dress
was of cheap, black material ; her face |iale
and worn, as If with fatigue. She rose hur
riedly up as they approached.
'Have I come to the right place?' said she.
'm**s Mr. Spruce live here ?'
Mr. Hubbard Spruce cleared his throat
sonorously.
'Young woman,' said he, 'my name is
Spruce.'
The girl hurst into tears.
'Please—please, then, Is* kind to iue,' fal
tered she. 'I am your son Paul's widow.'
Aud as she spoke site came up to him,
holding out both trembling hands.
'There's some mistake here,' said Mr.
Spruce, unfolding a big, ml-sllk handker
chief. 'Paul's wife diisl in Nevada, a few
weeks after his death.'
•No, she did not,' said the young woman.
'She's hen* now. 1 was very, very ill—
they gave up all hopes of me. But I did
not die.'
"Humph !' said Mr. Spruce, while his
wife and daughter got Is-hind him, eyeing
the stranger with cold, unsympathetic eyes.
This is a very remarkable story. lam in
clined, young woman, to believe it all fab
rication. I'm very much afraid that you
are an iuijioHtor !'
A deep-red flush row to the girl's face.
'1 can prove that 1 am not that,' said she.
'I have the JKIMTS lien* iu uiy log. I
thought, as a matter of course, that Paul's
lureiits would Is* good to iue. There was
no one else for me to go to.'
Mr. Spruce's face turned all manner of
colors as he looked at the little packet of pa
]MTS which she extended to him.
'l*jam my word,' said he, 'this is very
extraordinary! Julia," to his wife, 'I am
constrained to la-Hove that this young wo
man really is Paul's widow.'
Mrs. Spruce dropped a stiff courtesy.
'How do you do, Mrs. Paul ?" said she.
'You will call me Elsie, wont you ?' said
tin* girl, apjiealingly. 'And this is Paul's
sister ?'
'His half-sister,' corrected Miss Helena
Elvira. 'We never were at all alike. Ma
was only his step-mother, and I scarcely
remember him.'
'And,' added Mrs. Spruce, querulously,
'it did seem as if Paul had made us enough
trouble otie way and another without dying
and bequeathing us aw ife to Like rare of.*
'Julia,' said Mr. Spruce, jtompously, 'we
must not question the will of providence.
Come here, Elsie, kiss me. We'll do the
liest we can for you—always taking it for
granted that you mean to earn your own
living, and not Is* dependent upon tis ?'
'I will do my beat,'said Elsie. *1 am a
good little housekeeper. Paul always said
Unit my cooking was excellent, and I made
all his shirts with my own hands.'
'Very sensible—very sensible !' said Mr.
Spruce. 'And now mother, let's go in. I
supjMise Elsie can have the little end-room
close to the slied ?'
'I was calculating to keep my flour and
stores there,' wild Mrs. Spruce, sourly.
'But I guess 1 can manage. Come, Elsie ;
I'll show you where all the things are kept,
and then you can get supjier for us. Hele
na Elvira isn't very strong, and lam very
tired.'
'I shall le so glad to lie of use !' said Mrs.
Paul Spruce, wistfully.
While she was taking off her things in the
cell-like room assigned to her, Mrs. Spruce,
senior, came tiptoeing liack to w here Hub
bard still stood on the grassy green, me
chanically wiping the perspiration from his
forehead, staring around him in a glossy
eyed sort of way.
'Hubliard !' said she, in a low voice.
'Well ?' retorted the farmer.
'Do you s'pose she knows it ?'
'Knows what ?'
'That this farm and the ten thousand dol
lars iu money were left to Paul by his Un
cle Wethersbee ?'
'Of course she don't !' said the old man,
looking around, as if fearful lest some one
should overhear the words. 'How should
she ?'
'Are you going to tell her, Hubbard ?'
He turned short around, with a growl
like that of an incensed wild animal.
'What do you Like me for ?' said he. 'Of
course,' suddenly altering his tone into
smooth plausibility, I have the liest inter
ests of Paul's widow at heart. She shall be
provided for. She shall never want. But
what does a woman know alsiut business ?'
•Of course !' said Mrs. Spruce,with a sigh
of relief —'of course !'
So Paul's widow settled down in the
Spruce household as a sort of patient, much
enduring drudge, willing to do everything,
and anxious only to gain a kind word or a
smile.
Miss Helena Elvira treated her in a cava
lier sort of way, as she might have treated
the 'hired girl' for whom her soul had
longed.
And grateful little Elsie accepted it all,
thankful for any crumb of occasional kind
ness flung her, and training herself not to
expect too much from these undemonstra
tive connections,.
But their paths one day came in colli
sion.
'You were going to the singing school to
night, Elsie!' said Helena Elvira, sharply.
* Hut you can't! The niinialer is coming here
lo ica, some one must Is* oil hand lo wash
thedisbcM.'
'Juab Whltely asked m<* to go with him,'
said KNic, with drooping lashes, 'and 1
thought-— *
'.loali Whitely, imh-ed !' angrily retorted
Helena Elvira. 'l'd like to know what
husiuess aw illow like you lias to Is- career
ing around the country with Jooh Whitely,
or any other young man P
'ls it wrong breathlessly asked Elsie.
'Oh, Helena Elvira! Hut I'uul lias been
dead a year now, and, after all, I am only
eighteen.'
'Quite old enough to kuow better,' said
Helena Elvira. 'l'll go with Juah, and ex
plain it all to hiiu. It's quite iui|sjssible
for uia to span- you."
'Hut he didn't ask you !' (lashed out El
sie.
Helena Elvira laughed—a hard, crackling
laugh.
'Jealous, eh?' said she. 'Hut you may as
well sjiare yourself the trouble, Elsie. Joab
Whitely never would care for you.'
In the Spruce household Helena Elvira's
will was law, and Elsie found herself coin
|M*licd to submit.
She was washing dishes, sorrowfully and
alone, in the kitchen, that evening, wonder
ing why she should lie placed outside the
pale of hutiiau enjoyments ami affections,
when, unexpectedly enough, the _ door
o]M-ned, ami in walked honest Joab himself.
'ls it true, Elsie Spruce ?' said he.
'Didn't you really want to go to singing
sehtsil with me to-night
'Oh Juab !—w ho told you that ?' exclaim
ed Elsie,scarcely know ing whether to laugh
or cry.
'Why, Helena Elvira, of course.'
'lt was not true, Joab !' wliis|ered Elsie.
'Of course it wasn't !' said he. 'I might
have known it. She is a falsi*, treacherous
human cat ; and you Elsie—well, you are
the sweetest little darliug in all the world,
aud it goes to my very heart to sec you
drudging and toiliug here, like a slave ! He
my wife, Elsie—come home to the Old Red
Cottage with me—and you shall live as a
lady should !'
What could Elsie Spruce answer but
yes ?
And it was not until half an hour of
blissful lover talk had passed that she re
meinliered herself sufficiently to cry out :
'Hut,what will Mr. and Mrs. Spruce say?
It w ill cost Mr. Spruce so much to hire a
girl to take my place, and Mrs. Spruce is
firmly convinced that—that you are in love
with Helena Elvira !'
'Bother Mr. Spruce !' said Joab, reckless
ly ; 'and Mrs. Spruce must unconvince her
self the liest way she can. Helena Elvira,
indeed ! Why, I'd as soon marry yonder
clothes-]io6t !'
Rut Joab Whitely had hardly calculated
u|on the energy of the domestic storm
which speut itself upon jsior Elsie when
the actual truth transpired. Helena Elvira
sobbed, wept, and declared herself the vic
tim of a foul conspiracy.
'I felt a cold chill creep all over me when
first 1 set my eyes on that girl, six mouths
ago,' she bewailed herself. 'I knew she
was a serpent, fated to sap my life's blood !'
'Elsie !' said Mrs. Spruce, sternly, 'you
must either give up this young man or leave
this house !'
'I can't give up Joab !'said Elsie, burst
ing into tears. 'I love Joah !'
'I never heard anything so imnodest in
my life !' shrieked Helena Elvira.
'The only way to settle this question,'
said Joah, w hen he heard of the general
commotion, 'is for rae and Elsie to get mar
ried at once."
But Mrs. Spruce herself visited the Old
Rod Cottage in Helena Elvira's liehalf.
'I don't think you understand exactly
how matters are situated, Joah,' she said,
with her most maternal siuile. 'Our dear
Helena Elvira—who is all shrinking mod
esty and clinging affection—will inherit the
w hole of Chalk Farm ami ten thousand dol
lars in hard cash the very day that she
marries.'
'ltut w liat is that to me ?' said Joab
Whitely, drumming his fingers ou the win
dow-sill. '1 hope she may be happily mar
ried, hut— *
'And,' breathlessly added Mrs. Spruce,
'Paul's widow has nothing hut the gown
she stands up in !'
'What of that ?' said Joab, stoutly. 'I
love her—and she loves me !'
'Well," said Mrs. Spruce, tartly, 'if yon
are determined to make fools of yourselves,
you can do so.'
And thus speaking, she shook the dust of
the Old Red Cottage off her feet in disgust.
Hut when she reached Chalk Farm once
more, her husband was sitting in the best
room,with his head in his hands, and a face
as pale as ashes, while opposite him stood a
spare, wrinkled, elderly man iu black.
Mrs. Spruce stopjanl on the threshold just
in time to hear the concluding words of the
stranger's sentence.
'According to your own account of it,
Hubbard Spruce," he said, 'you have been
defrauding this girl of her legal rights.
You have been swindling her systematical
ly and deliberately. You have laid youi
self open to the severest penalty of the
law I'
'Don't, Mr. Payne—don't!' Interposed
Elsie, who had advanced out of the shad
owy angle of the room. 'He is my father
in-law ! He has been good to me !'
'He has behaved like a scoundrel !' stern
ly said Mr. Payne. 'Ad it only remain?
for you to lodge an accusation in order that
he may lie placed in the prisou cell that he
richly deserves !'
Hut Elsie put her arms around Hubbard
Spruce's shoulder, as if to shield him.
'Never !' she said.
'Tliank (iod for that word, Elsie !' said
Mrs. ; Spruce, hurrying forward. 'Your
father-in-law meant no harm. He always
intended, some time, to give it back to you.
What is this lawyer doing here ?'
'He is the gentleman who always had
charge of the Chalk Hill estates,' saidElsio.
'He came to see me about buying some more
land. This is the first I knew of—of poor
Paul's propertv. But, oh, father, mother !'
with a pleading voice, 'it makes no differ
ence to me. No one-shall ever know."
But to Helena Elvira's warped nature,
Elsie's sweet forgiveness was more bitter
than the sharpest revenge could have been.
The Spruce family moved out of Chalk
Farm back to the little one storied house
whence they had originally come, and left
Elsie and Joab Whitely in possession of
their rightly domain.
'lt's all Paul's widow's 'fault ?' sobbed
Helena Elvira.
'Hush !' sternly uttered her father. 'You
talk like a fool! Don't you know that to
us she has been an angel of forgiveness ?'—
Helen Forrest Graves.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
The Skin of the Karth.
Wc talk a good deal about boring
and digging into the bowels of the
earth. It is a mistake. Wo have
never reached the I rowels of the earth
any moro than tho bill of a gnat that
pricks you on the abdomen reaches
your ho weld.
The human skin is about one two
hundredth and fiftieth of the diameter
of the body; allow the earth propor
tionately thick and it will be 30 miles
through.
The deepest borings have been a
bout half, not through the false or out
er layer of skin; not near to the cutis
vera. The highest mountains have
only shown us what may be about
one fifteenth the thickness of the
earth's skin. Could we go through
this thick hide into the real flesh
and blood of the earth what wonders
might be discovered !
At the last session of congress tbere
was a movement to get an appropria
tion to bore a bole as deep as it could
possibly be made under tbe direction
of the best engineers, but failed
Money so appropriated would be spent
to much better purpose than that ap
propriated for explorations to tbe north
pole and many other objects.
Tbe beat and gasses of tbe earth's*
interior are to be forces of tbe future
for motor power, lightening and heal
ing. A bore 10, 15,20, 30 miles deep
may be impossible, but be is not wise
wbo say s impossible of anything with
in human endeavor.
We simply mean that, since so
much has been discovered by merely
scratching and puncturing tbe false
skin of tbe earth, might not wonder
ful results be obtained by reaching
through its skin.
The l*se of Loon*.
A Western paper says: Tbe crazy
screams of the loon are beard again
through tbe silent watches of tbe
night and at early morn. Seven were
seen sporting themselves in Pigeon
Lake tbe other morning. It will be a
good thing if tbey become numerous
around here, as thej will make mag
nificent sport for the innocent shoot
ists who come in tbe summer with
tbeir kits. If tbere is anything tfcat
will tickle a loon half to death, it is to
get a pair of breech-loading, nickel
mounted, double and twist, brown
canvas, copper riveted throughout,
city sportsmen after him. He will
stand on bis bead and kick at tbe
clouds with delight. He will sit on
tbe water like an old-fashioned three
decker, with bis off eye shut and bis
beak on tbe grin, till the city cbap
thinks that if be can't blow tbat ga
loot clean out of tbe water at tbe first
pop it would be useless his shooting
at a barn. Then he draws up, holds
bis breath, shuts his eyes, and pops.
So likewise does tbe loon, and while
tbe sport is confusedly looking for tbe
pieces, tbe loon comes up within fonr
feetand a half of the boat and laughs—
a wild lunatic laugh, that would put
unholy 'thoughts into the very best
cburcb deacon tbat ever lived. Then
tbe rowing and shooting commences,
and if the loon does not take at least
five hours' hilarious fun out of them,
why, be must be a young one and not
feeliog extra well. Yes, loons should
be encouraged.
The Lover Could Not Stand the Test.
"Do you see tbat row of poplars
on tbe Canadian shore, standing ap
parently at equal distance apart ?"
asked a grave-faced man of a group
of passengers on tbe Fort Erie ferry
boat*
Tbe group nodded ascent.
"Well, there's quite a story con
nected with those trees," he continued.
"Some years ago tbere lived on tbe
bluff in Buffalo, overlooking the river
a very wealthy banker, whose only
daughter was beloved by a young sur
veyor. Tbe old man was inclined to
question the professional skill of yoang
rod and level, and pat to him the
test, directed him to set out, on the
Domiuion shore, a row of trees no
two of which should be farther apart
tbao any other two. The trial proved
the inefficiency and forthwith he was
forbidden tbe house, and in despair
drewned himself in tbe river. Per
haps some of you gentlemen with keeu
eyes can tell which two trees are
furthest apart''
The group took a critical view of
tbe situation and each member select
ed a different pair of trees. Finally
after much discussion, an appeal was
taken to the solemn faced stranger to
solve the problem.
"Tbe first and the last,'' said be,
calmly resuming his cigar and walk
ing away with the air of sage.
A MAX entered a little Rock Bank and
presented a check which read: 'Pay to
bearer the sum of ten dollars.' The cashier
took the check, looked at it, and said, 'The
check is perfectly'goodjbuflyoo'll have to get
someone to identify you.' 'What is the
use-?' the man replied ; don't you see that
it says 'Pay to bearer?' 'Yes, but you
must prove that you are the bearer.' I
NO. 27.
MBWSrAPBK UW
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ADVKKTMINO RATIOS,
1 wk. I IHO. 1 3 moa. ft IRON. I year
I square #2 m #4o| |SO $( IKOO
keolumn 400 fiOOl 10M 1500 I*oo
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and KneeutorV Hotleea p SO. Translrnt adver
tlsemeuts and local* in cents per line for Best
Insertion and 5 coots per line for each addition
al insertion
Wouldn't Marry Mechanic.
A young man commenced visiting a
young woman, and ujq mured to be well
pleased. One evening he culled when It
was quite late, wlik-h led the young lady to
Inquire where he had been.
'1 had to work to-uiglit.'
'What do you work for a living ?' slie In
quired in astonishment.
•Certainly,' refilled tho young man, 1 am
a mechanic.'
'I dislike the name of mechanic,' and alio
turned up her pretty nose.
Tills was the last time the young man
visited the young lady. He Is now a weal
thy man, an*l has one of the best women in
tbe country for a wife.
The young lady who disliked the name of
a mechanic is now the wife of > a miserable
fool—a regular vagrant about grogshop*—
and the soft, verdant, silly, miserable girl
is obliged to take in washing in order to
support herself ami children.
V'ou dislike the name of a mechanic, eh ?
You whose brothers are but well dressed
loafers. We pity any girl who is so ver
dant, so soft to think less of a yoang man
for being a mechanic—one of God's noble
men—the most dignified and honorable per*
sonage of heaven's creatures.
Beware, young man for being a mechanic
—one of God's noble men who work for a
living, for you may one of these days be a
menial to one of tbem. Far better to dis
charge the wellfed pauper with all his
rings, jewelry, braaeuncss and pomposity,
ami to take to your affection the calloua
hamled, industrious mechanic.
Thousands have bitterly repented their
folly who have turned their back on honest
industry. A few years have taught them a
severe lesson.
Simulating Death.
Home persons have possessed the power of
simulating death, but it is a dangerous ex
periment, and the story is told of a college
student who for the amusement of his com
rades did this once too often. By the power
of the will over the vital functions he had
again and again lain down upon a sofa and
fallen in a few minutes into his sportive
death trance. He had always come back to
activity within half an hoar, bat on this
last occasion they grew alarmed at the long
continuance of his trance. They called to
him, but he did not answer ; they shook
him, bnt he did not awake Their fellow
st udent was really dead. It is narrated of
Colonel Townsbend, Rajah of Puttiali, in
tke Punjab, that he had this power of what
doctors call voluntary hibernation. As
some women faint away whenever they feej
like doing so, so the gallant Colonel could
'die daily,' or whenever he pleased.
His heart, says the medical account of it,
would cease to beat ; there was no percepti
ble respiration ; the body become cold and
rigid, the eyes glassy and the features ca
daverous. He would continue dead for
several hours, and then come back to life.
Dr. Cheyne says that Colonel Townsbend
told him that he could expire whenever he
pleased and by an effort of his own will re
store himself instantaneously to the living
state. On one occasion he performed the
experiment in the presence of three medical
experts, one of whom kept his hand upon
tbe Colonel's heart, while a second held his
Rogers on his wrist-pulse, and the third
held a mirror In-fore his month. They
found alt traces of pulsation and restora
tion gone, and were unanimous in their be
lief that he was actually dead, when he re
vived as easily as he had died,to their great
astonishment.— Brooklyn Eagle.
A Railroad Cat.
An engineer on tbe Wabash Rail
way whose run is between Danville
and Springfield, has a eat which he
would not port with for love or mon
ey • It belonged to his wife, who
is now dead and for a year past it has
been bis constant companion in the
cab. Tbe cat loves its life on the rail,
and has grown Bleek and fat Bniffing
the p&ririe winds. Ordinarily it sits
perched op in tbe cab window before
its master, bo* occasionally it strolls
out to the pilot, where it will ride for
boors at a stretch, winking at tbe
dogs which bark at the train as it
thunders by the crossroads. Some
times when tbe train is approaching a
station tbe adventnrons animal climbs
to the top of the sand and damly roosts
there, ondettercd by the shriek of tbe
whistle or the clang of the bell The
engioe has good lack ever since the
animal became an occupant of the cab,
and the trainmen look upon it as a
mascot against disaster.
BEYOND THE REACH OF GENIUS.—A
young lady of my acquaintance was once
present at a musical party where the lion
of the evening was a celebrated flute player.
After he had performed this young lady
was presented to him, and there was a gen
eral silence in the room, which added to
her natural embarrassment. She felt that
she mnst say something pleasant, sc, with
a happy smile, she exclaimed : 'Oh, how
delightful you play ! Do you ever accom
pany yourself on the piano ?'
The artist looked at his flute, then at his
fingers, shrugged his shoulders, bowed low
and said: 'Never.' After a moment she
saw why everybody laughed.
TOMMY, walking with his father, saw
him give a beggar five cents, and inquired
into the matter.
•What did you give that man five cents
for, papa ?' asked Tommy.
•So that he might eat bread,my boy,' said
the father.
That evening at the supper ta*ble it was
observed that Tommy declined to eat any
bread, in any shape.'
'Aren't you eating now-a-days, my boy?'
his mother asked.
'No, mama.'
'Why not ?'
'So papa'll give me five cents.'
TEACHER.—'How many zones are there?'
BOY.—'Six.'
'No, there are only five.' '
'Yes, there are six.'
'Name them.'
'The torrid zone, the northern and south
ern temperate, and northern and southern
trigid—'
That's five ; what is the other one ?'
'O-zone.'