Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, February 11, 1886, Image 1

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    The Millheim Journal,
FUBLISHKI) EVERY THURSDAY BY
H. jl BUMT liTlEl t-
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hartinan's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OB $1.86 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCB.
AoeectaMe CttrrepM Solicited
Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL.
B USINESS
HARTEII,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
y B. STOVER,
Auctioneer,
Madisonburg, Pa.
yy h.reifsnydkr,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
j. w. stam,
Physician & Surgeon
Office on Main Street.
MILLHEIM, PA.
JOHNF. IIARTER,
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLUKIM PA.
pjR GEO. L. LEE,
Physician A Surgeon,
MADISONBURG, PA.
Office opposite the Public School Honse.
yy # P. ARD, M. D..
WOODWARD, PA.
oTdeininger,
Notary-Public,
Journal office, Penn at., Millheim, Pa.
Deeds and other legal papers written and
acknowledged at moderate charges.
J. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Having had many years' 1 of experience
the public can expect the best work and
most modern accommodations.
Shop 2 doors west Millheim Banking House
MAIN BTREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
QJ2ORGE L. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Corner Main St North streets, 2nd floor,
Millheim, Pa.
Shaving, Haircutting, Sbampooning,
Dying, &c. done in the most satisfoc
tory manner.
Jno.H. Onrls. aM. Bower. Ellis L.Orvis
QRYIS, BOWER & ORVIS,
Attorneys-at-Law.
BELLEFONTE, PA.,
Office in WoodingrsJßuilding.
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Eeei e
•jjASTINGSA REEDEB,
Attorney s-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, FA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office ocapied by the late firm of Yocum A
Hastings.
J U. MEYER,
Attorney-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE , PA.
At the Office of Ex-Judge Hoy.
C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
in German or English.
. A. Beaver. "W. Gephart.
A GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street. North of High Street
HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA.
C, G. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors-
OUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOPSTBIET, BELLEFONTE, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PROPRIETOR
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable.
Rateamodera*' tronage respectfully soUcl
ted Wy
JRVIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel in the city.)
COBNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODSCALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good same pie rooms for commercial Travel
erslon first floor.
®t iiltteittt ifftttm
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 60.
TOIL'S 3,[OTl\Fcl|.
Two things had never been known, to
fail Tom's mother—dignity and good
health. She was the very personiflc.v
tion of dignity in its moat imposing
aspect, and so impressed was she with
the value of dignity that she could not
tolerate giddiness, under which head
she included all exptessions of happi
ness or light-heartedneaw. As for pom
health she simply had no patience with
it, believing, like most peisons who
are blessed with good health, that it
only required an effort of the will to
throw off any form of illness.
Now, Tom's wife was nearly as pos
sible the opposite of Tom'a mother.
Not but that she had plenty of dignity
Of a sweet, womanly sort; but, bless
you, she was anything but stately. And
she was not only light-hearted and hap
py, but she took no pains to hide the
fact, letting song and dancing eye be
tray it to the whole world.
But worse than her giddiness was
her lack of strength. Not that she was
sickly either. She had rosy cheeks,and
bright eyes, and a plump figure ; but
still her back would give out some
times, and then she would have to lie
down and rest.
How Tom ever came to fall in love
with her—for he certainly did love her
would be bard to tell; for Tom was nat
urally 'somewhat like his mother, not
only dignified and strong, but firmly
convinced that his dignity was some
thing to be proud of, and that his good
health was due entirely to himself and
quite within his own control.
Still Tom was a good fellow, and
Susie admired him immensely, and lov
ed him quite as much as—more, proba
bly—than he loved her; woman's love
for a man is deeper and truer than a
man's for a woman.
To Tom's mother, Tom's wire was a
very painful fact and a constant sur
prise. Such a lack of dignity was not
only unbecoming; it was shocking. She
bewailed it to Tom, one day ; but Tom
had replied, with a dignity equal to her
own :
"I would not have her different,
mother."
Think of it! Brought up to realize
the importance ot dignity, endowed
with it himself, and with his mother's
grand example constantly before him,
he yec could prefer a giddy, frivolous
child as his wife. So be it. Mrs. At
kinson thereafter became doubly digni
fied, and all Susie's gentle pleasantries
froze and fell lib-less before they could
reach Tom's stately mother.
Susie's other crime of not being
strong was yet to be dealt with, howev
er. When they were first married, her
occasional lapses from good health had
not troubled Tom, though his mother
had regarded it with highminded indig
nation. But after awhile, when Susie
foolishly allowed her back to give her
trouble more frequently, it was another
thing—then Tom was worried.
You see Tom was not ricli ; still as
he was dignified, it was necessary to
have appearance of at least moderate
wealth. Anything else would have
been undignified, of course.
To keep up this appearance Susie
must work hard and yet appear to haye
plenty of leisure. It had not been
Susie's way, but if Tom thought it
was best,"why that was enough, and so
she kept up appearances to such an ex
tent that until her back refused to hold
her up any loneer, she never even told
Tom how tired she was.
Finally she gave out one day right
before Tofb, and for the first time in
his life that dignified gentleman saw
his wife in tears and heard her declare
that she "just could not keep it up any
longer."
If Tom had only been sick himself
once or twice he might have under
stood and Susie would have had the
dearest medicine a wife can have,the —
sympathy. As it was, he was only
surprised and pained—pained to eee bis
wife so childish.
"There, there !" he said, in his lofty
manish way, "you rausn't give way,
Keep yourself busy and It will pass
away." And he kissed her aod was
gone.
But he was not to sweep Susie's back
out of existence by any such dignified
waving of his hand. Again and again,
in spite offended by foolishly breaking
down until at last he was annoyed and
concluded to consult his mother,think
ing, V9ry wisely, that as she was a wo
man she could know just what to do.
There is no gainsaying that Tom's
mother was a woman, and she was
quite sure that she knew what to do,
though she received her son's confi
dences at first with an icy reserve that
said the matter was no concern of hers,
and with a slight raising of the eye
brows that said equally plainly that
sbe had long been aware of what was
now communicated to her. However,
she unbent.
"I will see Susie, if you wish me to,
Tom," she eaid.
"I wish you would, mother ; you can
MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11., 188(3.
help her more than I can. You don't
really think, then, she is sick V"
"Not at all, Tom. A little exertion
of her will and she will be quite right
again."
"1 thought so myself," said Tom ;
"but 1 wasn't sure. You'll see her,
then ?"
"I'll go to-day, Tom."
And so great was her anxiety to help
poor Susie to overco no her silly weak
ness that sh ? went at once to see her—
went indeed, with an eagerness that
very r.eaily marred that repose of man
ner which made her chief calm to dig
nity.
If the truth be told, Susie was not
glad to see her, for, strangely enough,
what Susie admired iu Tom she despis
en in Tom's mother, A fact of which
that stately lady was well aware, but
which, nevertheless, did not destroy
the pleasure she felt iu doing good to
Tom's misguided wife.
"Tom asked mo to come aud see you
this morning, Susie."
"I did not know he was going your
way," said Susie. "Take off your
things. Of course you will stay for
dinner."
"Thank you; I cannot to day."
Tom's motner was never more state
ly; Tom's wife never nearer to breaking
down without doing it.
"Tom is yery much worried about
you, Susie."
Susie could have kissed her for say
ing that ; for she had only just been
thinking with some bitterness, that
Tom did not seem to care.
"And he asked me," went on Tom's
mother, "to come and talk with you
about it."
"You are very kind," murmured
Susie, gratefully enough, though she
would have liked it better if Tom had
talked with her about it himself.
"I have no wish to be harsh," began
Tom's mother ; assuming one of her
uio&t commanding attitudo*. ik l know
you really be'ieve yourself sick."
Susie's placid look was suddenly
gone. She was dignified now. Her
lips closed and her brown eyes flashed.
She began to understand.
Tom's mother continued :
"You should endeavor to control
yourself. A little self control "
"Do I understand you," broke in
Su9ie in a low voice, "that Tom asked
you to tell me this ?"
"This or the substance of it," an
swered Tom's mother ; "and it is only
right—just to yourself and just to Tom
that you should overcome these fancies.
Exert your will. Look at me, look at
Tom—we are never sick."
Susie looked at her and believed her.
No, she bad never.been sick, that was
certain. But Tom ! Had Tom asked
her to say this to his wife ?
But this was only the beginning.
Tom's mother had much more to say,
aud she said it with a calm dignity
that proved she had only Susie, for
throughout it all Susie was not once
frivolous; she did uot interrupt. Tom's
mother went home lull of a peaceful
calmness her dignity had not known
for some time.
When Tom came home that evening
Susie said to him :
"Your mother was here to-day,
Tom."
"Yes; she said she would come."
"She spoke to me"—Susie's voice
was very low—"about the necessity of
exerting a control over my—over my—
my foolish weakness."
"Yes—yes, that was right. You
can do it if you will, Susie. Your will
has never been developed, Susie. Look
at me—l never was sick."
Susie looked at him. She would
have hidden her face and cried ; she
would rather have lain down to rest
her aching back, but no—she would be
gin to develop her will ; she would try
and smile; she did smile.
Tom had no more reason after that
to complain of Susie's foolish weakness.
She worked hard to develop her will
and keep down any foolish desire for
sympathy. She did not succeed very
well at that, but when she foolishly
fancied she was in agony from her
back, she did not betray the fact,.
Her will was not sufficiently devel
oped to control her pain, but It was
something that she could smile when
she wanted to cry. Oh, yes, she would
succeed some day.
Tom often congratulated her on her
success, but then he did not know how
little real success she was having. Still
she was failing in the important item
of pain; she jus; kept stead'ly on devel
oping her will.
And at last she had her reward. She
succeeded iu so developing her will
that at last she had nothing left her
but her will, and then she found that
will alone would not do. She could
not get up one moiniug.
Tom and Tom's mother told the doc
tor when he came down stairs that all
Susie needed was to exert her will. The
doctor looked at them and listened and
knew what had happened. "Exert her
will," h3 exclaimed, angrily, "make
A PAPKIt FOR THE HOME CIRCLE
her wiP you mean. Will ! That poor
child has more will than dozens like
you two. For months she has been
dying in agony under your eyes, and
I'll stake my soul she has not murmur •
ed. Will, indeed I Man !"
The doctor took Tom by the arm
and said:
"Tour wife is dying. Don't deceive
yourself. She is dying."
And so she did die, leaving Tom a
heart-broken, remorseful man. Leav
ing him with a siuile and a loving
whisper :
"1 did try, Tom, dear, but indeed I
did suffer so."
VALENTINES.
(From the New York Observer.)
Surely no reader of the Observer
would ever think of sending a coarse or
unkind valentine. There can be no
stronger mark of bad taste than to send
anonymously a missive that may offend
the recipient. I have known persons
who haye suffered tortures through the
receipt of some foolish valentine, so
called, that was sent out of sadly mis
named fun, or with malice afore
thought. Unfortunately in such a
case, the recipient is very likely to
charge the cruel act to some innocent
person who would not have made such
a stab in the dark on any account.
Thus misunderstandings occur and
friendships are rudely interrupted. It
would be well if ever tempted to do
anything that is calculated to hurt the
feelings of any one to ask oue's self.
4 1 low would I feel if this were done to
me ?' Let us bring the golden rule in
to action in all these little matters of
life, and we shall often avoid paining
others and storing up painful memories
for ourselves. And this all born in
mind, I would say that the custom of
sending valentines is a proper and very
pleasant one. It is a pity to expend
money on very costly ones, however,
because the charm is not so much in
the cost of the article received as in the
fact that one ia remembered on St.
Valentine's Day. Nor is ft neccessary
to make the valentine a tribute to Cu
pid simply. There are surely many lit
tle boys and girls of our acquaintance
who would be gratified by receiving a
valentine and who aje not old enough
to take serious account of its purport.
Possibly by a little planning we cau so
arrange matters that they shall not be
forgotten. The young men and maid
ens may feel that lor them it is desira
ble to send to one and only one friend,
but our boys and girls need not be thus
limited. Especially let far-off little
cousins and friends be remembered.
Acquaintances who have gone to dis
tint parts are often greatly pleased at
receiving these tokens of love and good
will from the old home. A certain lit
tle grandson is not likely soon to be
forgotten by a certain grandmamma,
and all because last St. Valentine's day
bore one of the pretty missives to the
old lady, who somehow deyined or dis
covered the source of her welcome gift.
Any custom that leads us to think of
others, that enables us to minister to
their harmless pleasure, and that tells
them they are loved and thoughtjabout
is a good custom. Those persons are
to be pitied who cannot get and give a
little amusement out of it, while those
who turn it to account to wound the
feelings of others ought to be most se
verely condemned.
The Boy and th e Bull-Dog.
Ooce upon a time a certain little boy
observed his sister curling her hair a
round a hot poker, and when he saw
her golden ringlets twist up like
Georgia pine shavings, what he consid
ered an over-bright idea struck him.
'•The folks nextjdoor say their pug is
better than our bull-dog, because its
tail curls over Us back so tight. I'll
just curl the bull dog's tail now, and
run him up and down in front of their
house, and make them feel meau."
So he called the dog, and heated the
poker until it was almost red, in order
to get a good curl. Grasping the dog's
tail, he quickly wound it around the
poker ; but it was not wound around
the poker half as quickly as the dog
was wound around the boy. He pick
ed him up by the small of his back.and
shook him out of his clothes, and left
nothing on him but his freckles and a
look of terror. The boy was then o
bliged to lie in bed until his father
could afford to get him a new suit of
clothes, which was a month later.
The moral of this little fable teaches
us two things; first, that bright, origi
nal ideas are dangerous iu the hands of
people who don't know how to uie
them, and, second, that when we ex
periment with a bull-dog we should
muzzle him before beginning.— Puck.
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.
Are you disturbed at night and broken by
your rest by a sick child suffering and crying
with pain of cutting teeth ? If so, send at once
and get a bottle of Mas. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING
SYKUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING. Its value is
incalculable. It will relieve the poor little suf
ferer immediately. Depend upon it, mothers,
ihere is no mistake about it. It curesdysentery
and diarrhoea, regulates the stomach and
bowels, cures wind colic, softens the gums, re
duces inflammation, and gives tone and energy
to the whole system. MRS WINSLOW'S SOOTH
ING PYUUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING is pleasant
uo the taste, and Is the prescription of one of
the oldest and best female nurses and physlci
tns in the United States, and is for sale by all
druggists throughout the world j Price
cents a bottle.
People who Travel.
Sjmo Exparionooa of a Depot
Master.
'For a nice, every nay, go-as-you
please nuisance,' said the depot master,
'giye me an ancient and provincial wo
man. lam not an old man, nor have
I been tn this business very long, but I
am getting gray just the same, and I
believe these women are responsible for
it.'
'There was one in heretheother day.
She arrived one hour and a half before
the train she wished to take was sched
uled to leave. Five trains weut out
before hers did, but she charged on the
gate-keeper at every departure. You
cannot get a woman to believe stand
ard and local time are indentical. 1
don't know why, but you cannot.'
'Are all travelers obnoxious to you,
then ?'
'No, sir. We meet with some very
pleasant people I can tell you. The
nicest travelers come from the East.
Massachusetts or Connecticut people
are refreshing to deal with. They do
what you tell them, mark what j'ou
say and don't repeat questions.'
'Southern people are seen but seldom
around here. Those that come here
are mostly of the lower classes and are
ignorant in the extreme. The Western
traveler is free, a trifle egotistic, but
the sharpest of them all. I rather liko
to have him about. Immigrants ars
not at all bad to handle.'
'Any sharp practices carried on now
adays about this depot ?'
'No. I think the depot sharp is a
thing of the past. He is not extinct,
however, any means. There are
two or three of them who stand on the
other side of the street and work every
body who goes in or out. Canadiaua
and country people are the softest prey.
Eastern travelers sometimes fall into
their snares, immigrants once in a
great while, but a Western man,never.
They are afraid of Western people,
these sharps, and noyer attempt to
work them.'
'As a class, which are the most pre
ferable about a depot—men orwomeoV'
'Men by all means. Women are
slovenly or careless, I don't know
which. They throw the remnants of a
luncheon on the floor without the
slightest concern, and are generally
more troublesome. Giye me the men
every time in a waiting room.'— Detroit
Journal.
Evolving- a Story.
'Ah !' said Smith, a commercial
traveler, to a group of friends, 'I was
witness to a sight just before leaving
Chicago.' And then he told how he
had seen a poor German immigrant
with hie wife and family of eight yel
low-haired children, how he had become
Interested in them, and had learned
that thoy had left their native land to
seek a home in the Northwest. He
was touched with the tenderness of the
father and saw him purchasing apples
for the children. All the family except
the tather had taken their seats on the
train, and he was just making change
on the platform for his small purchase
when the train began to move out of
the station. He made a rush for it,
slipped, and then,before the eyes of the
poor family and other horror-struck
passengers, his head was taken off by
the cars.
Smith's friends were much affected
and it was decided to take up a purse
for the poor widow and fatherless chil
dren, and this was speedily done and a
neat sum presented to Smith to be for
warded. He with tears in his eyes,
said :
'My friends, I thank you, but I can
conceal it no louger. That train took
off the rest of the man, and he still
lives.'
Smith will not travel this week. He
is laid up for repairs.
Why Men Should Not ShaveJ
'How about shaying, Doctor V'
'lt is a dangerous habit. You can
! trace nearly every case of toothache
and ficial neuralgia in a man to the
habit of shaving. If all men protected
their throats by chin-whiskers and the
! nerves of the face by a liberal growth,
I you wouldn't hear ot half the present
l ai'ments. When I was a boy I never
! heard of a case of neuralgia in the fa
j cial nerves. In these days it is as com-
I mon as cases of ague. Men used to wear
: beards. The fashiou of to-day is meant
to encourage ailments. Shaving opens
• the pores of the face and inyites neu
! ralgia to step in and twitch the nerves.'
! 'Well, is that all to-day ?'
•All but one thing. When a barber
j invites you to have your hair cut on a
i raw winter day please rise up and
j punch his head—for me.'—[Detroit
1 Free Press.
A. boyj who bought a quart of New
Orleans uiolasses ataCincinnati grocery
store the other day found a diamond
ring worth S2OO in the stuff. Grocery
clerks should have their rings made to
fight tighter—somebody will get chok
ed on a cluster ring yet.
Terms, SIOO per Year, in Advance.
How a Rascal Was Freed.
The Duke of Oseouc is celebrated for
tiie tunny quaint judgements and decis
ions delivered by him while Viceroy of
Naples. Some of tliern seeiu actuated
rather by a spirit of pleasantry than by
one of justice. One day the Duke had
to choose a galley slave who should be
literated in honor of some great festi
val. lie went on board one of the gal
leys, and, standing in front of the first
bench of rowers, six in number, he be
gan to question thcra all as to what had
brought them there. The first one con
tented himself by calling God as a wit
ness to his innocence and protesting
that he was there for no reason at all.
The second said his punishment and
disgrace were the work of his enemies,
and not the consequence of any crime.
The third protested that a crying injus
tice had been done him by his being
sent there without any trial. The
fourth said that the lord of his village
had become enamored of his wife and
caused him to be sent there out of the
way. The fifth declared that he come
from the hamlet of Somrna, aud that
he had been implicated in a robery
there in which he really had had no
part at all, and that all his neighbors
would bear witness to his honesty.
The sixth, who observed that all
these excuses and justifications did not
seem to please the Duke, took a differ
ent tone. 'Your Excellency,' he £iid,
'I came from Naples ; and though the
town is a large one, I do not believe
that it contains a greater scoundrel
than myself. Thev have been merciful
to me in only sending me to the gal
leys.' The Viceroy looked at the man
keenly for some moments, and then,
turning to those in attendance upon
liira.said : -Let this scoundrel be re
leased from bis chains ; he will corrupt
all those honest men.' Then he pre
sented him with some money to pro
vide himself with clothing, and be
sought him to try aud live a better life
in the future.
A Wise Boy.
For an hour yesterday forenoon a
woman walked up an! down the ladles'
waiting room at [.the Third-street sta
tion in ner efforts to hush the screams
and yells of a child about two years old.
The little one was hopping mad about
something, and ould not be soothed
by soft words or sticks of candy. There
finally came a moment when everybody
saw the mother's face take on a look of
grim determination, and at that mo
ment a newsboy who had been warm
ing himself at a register broke for out
doors.
"What's the row ?" asked one of his
outside friends as he joined them.
"There's a woman in there goin' to
spank her young 'un."
"Why didn't you stay and see the
fuu ?"
"Um! 'Spose I want to be hauled
up as a witness in an assault and bat
tery case and have the lawyers givin'
me sass ?"
New England Twigs.
A maiden schoolmistiess thinks that
some of her pupil's compositions are
funnier than anything ofMarkTwain's.
From an essay on "Fashion," writteu
by a boy of 12, she cites the following:
'Sensible people wear sensible fash
ions, and insensible people insensible
fashions.'
Another hopeful of hers, writing on
the subject "A Rainy Afternoon,"
evolved from an inner consciousness
deeper than that of Josh Billings, the
following sentence:
'lt rained hard, and I could not go
owdoors, and so I went out in the shed
and sod some wood.
In a little straw frame ou her mantel
is a sentence from the pen of her young
est and brightest, given in answer to
the request, 'Write io twenty words
a definition of 'Man.' ' It read thus :
'Mao is an animal that stands up; he
is not very big and has to work for a
living.—[Boston Record.
Spreading Manure in the W inter.
"Well-rotted mauure"is supposed to
have some special superiority over fresh.
Upon investig ition it i 9 found that,
what is gained one way, is lost iu a
nother, and that actually some loss is
incuired in the process of fermenta
tion, and in exposure to the weatner.
Further it is found, that nothing is
lost by spreading the fresh manure as
it is made. The only dififerenci be
tween fresh and well-rotted manure is
that tbe latter contains more soluble
and available plant-food, which is de
sirable when immediate results are
wished for. But for top dressing wheat
or rye, or as a preparation for spring
crops, aud to be plowed under, the ma
nure may be spread on the land now,
more conveniently than at any other
time. The land is uoc cut up by the
wheels, and in maoy cases a sled can
be used, with a great saving of labor
in lifting the manure.—(American
Agriculturist for February.)
NO. 6
NBWSPAPmt I.AWB
If subscribers order tlie dl*t*onttmiatioii of
newsfAlMi-M. the puritans may continue to
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ABOUT BABIES.
Some Observations by an Unmar
ried Man.
The baby, according to my observa
tions, is in almost all climates, anb at
all seasons of the year, nocturnal in its
habits. It is also diurual a good share
of the time; but this, or course, is a
fact not worth mentioning.
Unlike the young of most other spe
cies, the baby does not recognize any
parental distinctions, but will lament
as bitterly while riding on the paternal
arm at the witching hour of midnight
as wheu clasjied tenderly to ttie moth
er's bosom at sunny midday. Its sole
creed and language is a cry; and no
Christian or heathen ever lived up to a
creed with more conscientious fidelity
than does the baby.
The baby is not partial to paregoric ;
that is failing of its parents. For it
self, the infant would much prefer la
mentation between meals to sleep.
But there is a limit to all things, and,
thank heaven! paregoric is cheaper
than endurance.
Judging .'from my personal exper
ience, a large share of the bady's early
life is passed on the cars. I do not
know that I eyer entered a car without
fiuding a baby ahead of me. I always
brace myself for the wail the minute I
open the door, and nine times out of
ten it is here. The car may be full of
passengers, but for ail practical purpo
ses it is occupied entirely by the infant.
It is my firm conviction that babies
do not like to travel. I may be mistak
en, for I base my judgment entirely up
on appearances, but I have never yet
seen a baby who "seemed to be perfect
ly satisfied with the arrangements pro
vided for the comfort of the trayeling
public by railroad corporations.
' Why under these circumstances, ba
bies should be compelled to trayel I
cannot comprehend. Perhaps it is be
cause their fond but unselfish parents
wish the world to share with them the
winsomeness and loveliness of infancy.
I belieye this is the explanation usually
given py conductors.
But there is one disagreeable featnre
about babies—l will not say which one;
some people think it is the nose, oth-
era me nair. However that may be,
you are expected to admire tbe little
just as much as if they were really
beautiful.
The fond mcther will never forgive
you if you don't say something real
sweet about her cherub. You must
disguise your real sentiments, and deal
in veneered platitudes of the too-sweet
for-anything and perfectly-angelic
stamp.
Dou't likeu the iufaut to its father,
especially if that gentleman is slightly
bald and is just beginning to cultivate
a sunset tinge at the top of his nose.
Say that the babe resembles its mother,
and you are safe. If you add that it
is a remarkably charming and beauti
ful child, you are in a fair way to re
duce your board-bill by becoming a fre
quent guest at the house of the little
straDger.
The best way to get along with ba
bies is to remember that you were one
once yourself.
Your nose was just as red and inde
terminate as that; your bair was just
as scanty aud colorless.
You also bawled from morning till
night and from night till morning, and
yisited the lotosland of slumber only by
•the perfunctory path of paregoric.
You pulled the paternal hair and
pounded the paternal eyes with your
little fists.
You kept the whole house awake
with the ebulitions of your empty woe ;
you sucked your thumbs and your toes
and your bottle like all the rest of
them:
But you are grown up, and the pres
ent is not.
That is the difference.— [Puck.
"NOBODY KNOWS."
•I don't know,' is a frank answer and
often the correct one, as the following
anecdote illustrates :
The late Prof. Sophocies of Harvard
University, a native Greek, was a man
of great learning, and a volumnious
author. He was a man of whom schol
ars heard and read more and knew less
than of any other distinguished person
in the whole country.
He lived aloue, cooked his own meals,
and got up many queer dishes. He
was something of a wit, and knew how
to wake up students, though he was
not a thoroughly successful teacher in
the school room.
It is said that in a class room he ask -
ed a student what was done with the
bodies of the Greeks who were killed at
Marathon.
'They were buried, sir.' j
'Next.'
'Why, they—they—were burned.'
'Next.'
'l—l—don't know.'
'Right I Nobody knows,' answered
the professor.
—VALENTINES 1 The finest line of
Valentines—and the cheapest too for
that matter—just received at the JOUR
NAL store.