Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, February 04, 1886, Image 1

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    The Millheim Journal,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
f\. a.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hartman's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR nr HOT PAID IN ADVANCH.
AcrejMe CnrrespoaießCG Solicited
Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL.
BUSINESS
J- IIARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, FA.
B. STOVER,
Auctioneer,
Madisouburg, Fa.
H.REIFSNYDKR,
Auctioneer,
MIIXHBW, PA.
TQR. J. W. STA.M, _
Physician & Surgeon
Office on Maui Street.
MILLHEIM, PA.
JYT. JOHN FTHARTER,
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA.
GEO. L. LEE,
Physician & Surgeon,
MADISONBURG, PA.
Office opposite the Public School House.
■YY. P. ARD, M. D.,
WOODWARD, PA.
O. DEININGER,
Notary-Public,
Journal office, Penn st., Millheim, Pa.
AVDeeds and other legal papers written and
Acknowledged at moderate charges.
j. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Having had mi ny years' of experience
the public can expect the best work and
most modern accommodations.
Shop 2 doors west Millheim Banking House
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
QBORGE L. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Corner Main & North streets, 2nd floor,
Millheim, Pa.
Shaving, Haircutting, Shampooning,
Dying, &c.-done in the most satisfac
tory maimer.
Jno.H. Orris. C. M. Bower. Ellis L. Or vis
QRVIS, BOWER & OR VIS,
Attorneys-a t-Law.
BELLKFONTE, FA.,
Office in Woodlngslßnildlng.
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Reed e
TJASTINGS * REEDER,
Attornejs-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
■Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocum A
Hastings.
J c - MEYER,
AUorney-at-Law,
BELLKFONTE, PA.
AttheOffioe of Ex-Judge Hoy.
nrTM. C. HEINLE,
AUorney-at-Law
BELLKFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
tn German or English.
•u A. Beaver. *• "W. Gepbart
jgEAVER 4 GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLKFONTE, PA.
'Offlce on ADefchany Btreet. North of High Street
HOUSE,
■ALLEGHENY ST„ BELLKFONTE, PA.
O. OVLMEMILLEN,
P&OPFTLETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to aud from all traius. Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors.
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEPONTE, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PROPRIHTOR
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable.
Ratesraodera** tronage respectfully solici
ted 5-ly
JRVIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel In the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODSOALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good sameple rooms for commercial Travel
ersjou first floor.
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 60.
A Plcqsqqt fjoiqody.
Wife and I landed at San Diego, thai
beautiful city on the extreme south
western corner of California, and, af
ter spending a few days at the Hurt on
House, we took saddle mules and visit
ed the valley of the Csjon, where we
stopped over night with Captain Min
er, the most friendly of hosts.
Early the next morning we began
our climb to the Falls of San Diego,
Captain Miner accompanying us. He
wished to show us a canyon, covered
with chapparal, where there lived a
million quails, lie stated the number
with an easy confidence which proved
that he had counted them. We accept
ed his testimony and did not count. It
certainly would have been easy to bag
a thousand in a few moments, but 1
begged so hard for them that the cap
tain turned back without the wagon
load which he had promised his good
wife to bring with him. The Califor
nia quail is such an exquisitely beauti
ful bird, and its family life so sweet,
that I would htva gone on my knees to
prevent the slaughter of the innoseuts.
No person of sensibility can study their
littlo ways and then kill them.
After the captain had left us we kept
on by the side of the San Diego river,
and before night climbed to the foot of
the famous falls. While picketing our
mules 1 discovered two young men
busy making camp on the opposite side
of s a canyon. 1 called to them, and in
pantoaimie invited them to visit us,
.which they signaled they would do af
ter supper. I urged them to take sup
per with us, but they politely declined.
An hour later, just as we had finished
our desert of oatmeal mush, our neigh
bors came. Oae was a tall, brown
haired, bright-eyed gentleman, of per
haps twenty-six ; the other a slight,
blonde lad of eighteen. We were much
impressed with their intelligence, and
pleased with their gentle bearing to
ward each other. It was in strange
contrast with our wild surroundings
and with their rough corduroy pants,
tlinnel shirts and pith hats.
• They told us they had long been in
timate friends, and wheu the health of
the younger began to break, and the
doctor had warned him that nothing
but a year in the saddle would save his
lungs, they had left their home in the
East and came to the Pacific coast,
where they had been climbing through
the mountains, with the aid of mus
tangs, for three months. Already
Fred was quite another rain.
To illustrate the c .ange.Fred whack
ed his tliigh, and informed us that
three months before, that leg was not
more than half its present size.
We arranged to meet them again a
week later, and already felt that they
were dear friends.
They were scarcely out of earshot
when my wife seized my arm and
whispered the strange question :
"Do you know what I think ?"
"I don't; but please stop pinching."
"Fred is a girl," she cried, pinching
harder and harder.
"How do you know that ?"
"How do I know it ? Don't you
suppose I know a girl when I see one?"
exclaimed my better half.
"My dear, I came to the conclusion
long ago that you knew pretty much
everything, but will you tell me how
you found out that this young man is
not a young man at all, but something
else. I grant you that he behaves re
markably well, but might not a young
man, by some accident, behave him
self ?"
"Oh, but that sweetness, that soft
ness, that equisite delicacy of manner
and speech ! lam astonished that you
can't see ; but then you men are so
blind."
"My darling, permit me to call your
attention to the fact that you haye oft
en spoken of my blindness. I would
not have you suppose thai I doubt
what you say. If you had said this
young man was a kangaroo or a gross
of tack hammers, I should not dare to
doubt it. lam or.ly trying to find out
your signs of sex."
My better three-quarters made no re
ply, but went on to say *
"What can it mean ? Nothing,
wrong, lam sure. They are beautiful
people, and I know would do nothing
improper ; but- what can It mean ?"
Before their next coming my wife
shook her head and said, "What can it
mean ?" many times.
When they came again we were very
glad to see them, and they seemed glad
to see us.
We recalled that Fred had worn a
pair of buckskin gloves when calling
on us at the Falls, and had shaken
hands without removing them. We
had not been especially impressed with
the circumstance, for we both wore the
same sort of gloves from morning till
night, and often slept in them, but on
tbe occasion of their second visit we
noticed, and thought if the gloves were
removed, Fred's hands would be re
markably small. This tended to con -
firm my good wife's suspicions.
MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4., 1886.
Our friends invited us to dine with
them the next d.iy, and when thev
were fairly out of hearing, my wife
grasped my arm, and in that same ex
cited whisper asked :
"What do you think now ?"
"Think ?" Why, I think we have
met a couple of well-bred young gen
tlemen, and—"
"Well-bred fiddlesticks ! 1 declare,
you men are stone bl'nd. Now, do
you pretend to say that you don't see
that 'Master Fred,' as the other calls
him, is nothing but a girl."
" 'Nothing but a girl,' is rather cool
nowadays, when a man hardly dares to
open his mouth in the presence of a
woman of any age." 1 said, as bravely
as I dared, to my better seven-eighths.
aly devoted companion kept it up.
That night when 1 was just dropping
off to sleep, she reached oyer, gaye my
blanket a jerk to rouse me, and ex
claimed :
"Why, her whole style, her walk,her
yoice, her chin, her beautiful eyes, her
delicacy and sweetness of manner, and
his teuderness toward her—it Is all as
plain as can be. They are just married;
she is threatened with consumption,
and as this dress is so much better for
saddle work in the mountains, etc, etc.
Oh, I see it all just as plain as the
nose on your face."
I knew my nose was a big one, and
my wife's favorite object for illustra
ting v.'st things, but I kuew likewise
it was n dark night, and that I was ly
ing with my face turned from her. I
said nothing but began a series of evo
lutionary snores, which she finally ac
cepted as genuine, but which, as one
can never hear the real souuds In him
self, were probably not a good imita
tion.
She roused me the next morning, and
told me of a curious dream she had
had about the beautiful bride in breech
es. On the way over we rode side by
side, where a trail was wide enough to
give our uauU*- uui diacusaod
our scheme.
Our welcome was very warm ; the
dinner was excellent. We had finish
ed the stewed-canned oysters, aud can
ned turkey with cranberry sauce, and
canned green peas, and were busy on
the dessert of canned strawberries and
peaches, when my wife opened our lit
tle "game." Addressing herself to
Mr. Morton (Fred), she asked :
"Don't you think, Mr. Morton, If a
lady were sick, say of consumption,and
needed to live a year or two in the sad
dle. it would t>e a capital plan for her
lo adopt a man's dress and then secure
all sort 9 of freedom ?"
Our plan w9 to look Fred square in
the face at the conclusion of the ques
tion. It was evidently a bull's-eye
shot. He blushed and turned a look of
astonishment and interrogation upon
his companion, which proved that my
wife was right. She always is.
Then without waiting for them to
change the subject, I took up my part,
and said :
"We met a couple the other day, the
most beautiful people I have seen in
years; the bride lived in the saddle,was
dressed in men's clothes, and was rap
idly recovering from genuine consump
tion."
"Where did you meet this couple ?"
asked Major Barton, by which name
Fred addressed his companion.
"At Sau Diego Falls," was my re
ply.
Then we at the Major. This
was our programme. He looked at his
companion. They both turned all sorts
of colors, and we all burst into roars oi
laughter. Then followed a long and
most interesting talk. My wite had
guessed the exact truth ; Fred was a
bride. The family physician had pro
nounced his case genuine, pulmonary
consumption, aud had shaken his head
over the near future.
The young people consulted to-geth
er, and after much anxious doubt, but
with the lull consent of friends, were
married.
After a deal of trouble they succeed
ed in obtaining the proper measure
ment for Fred's corduroys, and in ten
days were climbiDg the rugged sides of
the Sierra Nevadas. They had been
zigzagging through the mountains,and
in three months had reached the point
where we first met them.
A curious change came over Fred's
manners. A9 soon as the facts were
known to us, I imagine he felt very
much as Eve did when she became a
ware that her clothing wasvery scanty.
Whereas Fred had slapped his thigh,
talked of the growing muscle, aud
stridid about like other young fellows,
now he excused himself, took some
thing out of a bag, went behind a clump
of bushes, and soon returned with a
blanket arranged like a woman's skirt.
I recall these facts nearly four years
after the close of our camp life ou the
Pacific coast. The occasion was an
exciting scene in Central Park, New
York. Wife and I, with the old camp
ing instinct upon us, were sitting un
der a tree in a shady nook in that beau-
A PAPER,FGII THE HOME CIRCLE.
tiful paik, watching the saddle lidefs.
A pair of wild ones were coming, and
I exclaimed :
"Those must be mustangs ; no other
horses could do like that."
Instantly my wife clutched me in
that same old place, and cried out :
"It's Fred 1 it's Fred !"
Wo sprang to our feet. The recog
nition WAS complete all around. The
horses were the same they rode in Cali
fornia. Quiet enough they were there,
eating what they could pick up ; but
here with oats and thorough grooming,
they were full of the very dickens.
The next day we dined with our
friends Jt was hard to recognize in
our beautiful hostess the thigh-slapping
Fred of the mountains.
I complained that the long silken
skirt did not look natural.
Mrs. R. [we now for the first time
learned their real name] invited £ll9 'to
spend the next eyening with them.
Mr. R. opened the door aud told us
they ht\d sent their servants out for the
evening. In the grand parlor we wait
ed for our hostess. In ca.De Fred in
the same old corduroys, woolen shirt,
old boots and pith hat.
He went striding about the room,
regular free and easy mountain fashion,
and when the shouts of laughter had
subsided, slapped his thigh and said :
"When I went to the Pacific coast
that leg was so small and soft that it
could hardly carry me ; now it is big
enough and solid enough to carry me
thiough a long life."
"Yes," exclaimed the proud and
happy husband, "my wife would not
part with those clothes, nor with her
splendid horse. She feels, as I do, that
they have saved her life. We believe
that a good saddle-horse, pioperly rid
den, can cariy a consumptive from the
grave back into the midst of life and
health."
I will add. that I have seen many re
markable restorations from advanced
consumption through life in. thft*udilie.
I think the chances are about as good
here as in California.—[ Dio Lewis, in
Nuggets. J
A Cabin 300 Years Old.
Upper Darby township, Delaware
county. Pa., boasts of a real old-time
log cabin, and tiadition savs that it
was at one time occupied by an English
peer and afterward the home of an In
dian chief. It Is on the property of
Thomas Kent, the well known manu-
aud is only a short walk from
Pliil.iJilpliU aud Baltimore pike.
It lias stood therefor over three hun
dred years, and history says was built
by an English nobleman, who, with a
number of friends, came to this coun
try on a hunting expedition and select
ed the site as their headquarters. Af
ter the Englishmen returned to their
native shores it was occupied by a chief
of one of the Lenni tribe of Indians for
many years, until at last, by the advent
of the pale faces,the red man was com
pelled to move toward the setting sun.
The log cabin is in a remarkably
good state of preservation, and excel
lent workmanship is displayed in its
construction. The cellar is very deep
and is divided into many apartments
and recesses, supposed to have been us
ed as the place where the Englishmen
stored their old wines and liquors, and
some queer looking old bottles and
casks are to be seen on the shelves. The
cabin at present is occupied by an aged
couple, who keep a little candy store
and also charge a small commission fee
to those who are curious enough to
see the interior of the old structure.
What Children Should Eat.
Few things are so difficult to man
age as the dietary of our little ones.
Love leads us quickly.to the conclusion
that what they like is best for them ;
and so we say, yes, yes, yes,'certainly
my darling, certainly ; poor dear he
shall have what he wants. This gush
ing indulgence leads straight to bad
breath, rotton teeth, p.ile face, dyspep
sia, bowel disease, and death. I have
* •
not one doubt that a large part of these
misfortunes of childhood come from
the table. Every block has its candy
store, every house its table covered
with sweet, inuutritious stuffs. A diet
of grains, good biead, milk, and fruits,
would leave the child's breath sweet,
teeth white, its digestive machine
healthy, its health good. It is too bad
that our American children should be
so treated. The child of the .New
World is worth ten times as much to
the race as a child in Asia. American
children ought to ba well used ; they
may have a glorious future. We are
killing them off by the hundred thous
and with our amiable saccharine indul
gences. Practically it is equivalent to
a conspiracy against the welfare of the
country to turn these little ones loose
among cakes, candies and sweetmeats.
Parental indulgence is the largest ob
stacle in the pathway of American
childhood.
A (\nqpd fot< t^isoqcHs.
The Famous Nigger Hounds of
the South.
An Exhibition of Their Wonderful
Noses at a Georgia Oonviot
Oamp.
While at Oldtown I saw a race be
tween a convict and the hounds. It
came about in this way :
Mr. Williams claimed, and lie was
backed by Capt. Jaines, that any con
vict could be selected out of a bundled
and sent off to circle through the
woods, passing through a dozen squads
of convicts; that, an hour later, he
could put his hounds on the convict's
track, and they would thread him
through the squad of convicts, never be
shaken from his individual track, and
finally bring him up.
1 remarked that I could understand
how the hounds might carry a convict's
track through a crowd of outsiders
from some scent of the camp, but not
how they could separate one convict
fiom another.
'There may be a hundred convicts,'
be said, 'clothed precisely alike, and
wearing precisely the same shoes. They
may feed together on precisely the
same food, and sleep in bunks that
touch each other under precisely the
same coyer. And yet each one of them
lias a scent that marks him just as dis
tinctly to my hounds from his fellows,
as his appearance marks him under
your deliberate study.'
'And do you expect me to believe
that the dogs can catch this scent from
the flying touch of his thick shoes on
the hard ground ?'
'Undoubtedly. And further. lie
may stop in a squad and change shoes
with a convict, and the dogs will still
follow him. On the hardest ground,
his scent will be plain to them, though
his shoe soles are half an inch thick.
When he runs through the woods,
where his clothes touch the bushes,
they will trail him heads up, in full cry,
tifty yards, running parallel, but away
from where he ran.'
'I)o you mean that you can take fifty
convicts, all clad in convict suits, let
them run through the bushes, then send
the convict the dogs are trailing
through the same bushes, and the scent
of his body left on the yielding twigs
as his clothes brushes them, will lead
the hounds through the maze V
Yes, fifty yards away, they will run it
parallel at full speed. To prove this
I will start a convict. I will let others
follow him through the woods, 1 will
let him make a semicircle in the woods
with fifty yards' radius. When the
hounds come to this, instead of follow
ing the curve they will scent the oppo
site side of the circle, fifty yards away,
cut across to it, take the track up there
and follow it.'
A gaunt convict, long of leg and
flank, was selected for the run. He
was told to put off quickly, circle iu the
woods, take a swift run over the fields,
roads, and through evtry squad of con
victs he could find in his way. This he
did. The hounds were then loafing a
bout the stockade yard, as listless a lot
cf dogs as ever were seen.
•I am tempted,' said Mr. Williams,
'to let the convict ride a licrse for a
mile or two after he has run awhile. I
have had dogs trail a convict on horse
back four miles, and then take the
track where he jumped from the horse.'
By this time the flying convict was a
small speck on the broad fields, and in
a moment more had melted into the
horizon and was gone, as if, indeed, he
had found tlmt liberty for which his
soul panted and had gone as the strong
winged birds go when they vanish in
the blue ether.
In an hour we mounted our horses.
The hounds were still loafing about in
the sunshine. Suddenly Mr. Williams,
squaring himself in his saddle, blew
three quick, short blasts on the cow's
horn that luing at his side. As if by
magic, the hounds awaked and charged,
at his saddle—eager, baying, frantic,
'Nigger 1' he said sententiously. Like
the wind they were off, nose to the
ground, tails up, circling like beagles.
Larger the circle grew, the hounds si
lent as spectres, eyes and nose eating
the earth for its secret. 'They will
pass over the tracks of convict squads,
but will open on the first single track
they find. If it is the wrong track we
will simply sit still. They will run it
a hundred yards or so, and, noting our
silence, will throw it off and search a
gain. When they get the right track,
we will halloo and start after the hound
that has it. The others will join him,
and the race is opened.'
At last a red hound, careering like
mad across the field, halts suddenly,
tumbles over himself, faces about, nos
es the ground eagerly, lifts his head.
'A-a-o-o-w-u I' and is off like an arrow
from a bowstring. 'That's the track,'
shouts William, and after the how'ing
hound we go. The other dogs join in
pell mell at first, then each hound true
to the track, in full cry and at a rat
tling gait. Away off to the left Capt.
James calls attention to a moving
speck against the sky. 'That is the
convict circling back to camp,' he said.
On the dogs went, keen as the wind,
Terms, SIOO per Year, in Advance.
inexorable as fate, following the track
of the flying convict where it had been
laid as lighlly as thistle on the firm
earth, but where it left its telltale scent
all the same. Nothing could shake
them off—nothing check their furious
rush. Over other tracks made by con
victs wearing shops from the same last
and same box they went without hin
drance, led by some intangible miracle
of the air, straight on a single trail.
'Now we'll see thern wind his scint
fifty yards away,'said Williams, as we
neared a patch of forest. Close to this
was a squad of convicts. These we
had sent through the woods an hour
before. We had made trusties,' walk
ing singly, touch every bush and tree.
Then the convict we were trailiug was
run through, making a half circle, with
at least fifty yards' radius. The
hounds entered the forest at a hustling
pace, a small red dog leading. Sudden
ly the leader faltered for an instant,
with nose in air, then burst with fierce
cry to the left, ran obliquely for full fif
ty yards, with head up, when he took
up again the track of the conyict, and
lowered his head to the ground. He
had simply made a shortcut across the
semicircle, having caught scent of the
convict on the bushes more than a hun
dred feet away. I am aware that this
is incredible to thosa who have never
seen it. I cannot explain what it is
that the flying man, clad and shod as a
hundred others, fed on the same food,
chained daily to the same chain, and
sleeping in the same bunks at nights
imparts to a yielding twig touched by
his clotnes so that it attracts a hound
fifty yards away. But it certainly does
just that.
The last test was now coming. We
were moving toward a squad of con
victs at work in a cotton field. We
had sent the fugitive conyict through
this squad. We had then made them
walk in a double circle around him.
They then crossed and recrossed his
tracks, many of them wearing exactly
such shoes as he wore. One hour later
the hounds struck this point. There
was not an instant's pause. There
was no deviation, no let up in the pace.
Through the labyrinth of tracks the
hounds went, as swallows through the
air, hurrying inexorablj on the one
track they had chosen.
The end was now near. The convict
having run his race, was seen leaning
against a tree and watching the hounds
plunging toward him. 'Won't he
climb the tree ?' I asked. 'No; the
hounds are trained to simply bay the
convicts when tbey come up with them.
Otherwise the convicts would kill
them.' By this time the hounds had
sighted him. They halted about twen
ty yards away from tbe tree against
which he stood and bayed him furious
ly. Pretty music tbey made, and not
deeper than I have heard often and a
gain under a 'possum tree. 3fr. Will
iams called them off, and the convict
came forward. 'Dem puppiea, is doin'
mighty well, Cap'n,' he said, grinning
as he lazily swung by on his way to the
stockade.
These dogs are not bloodhounds. I
doubt if there is a bloodhound iu Geor
gia, though two are reported near Car
tersyille, descended from a pair owned
by Col. Jeff Johnson in the days of
slavery. The Oldtown dogs are fox
hounds of the liedbone breed, trained
for several generations to hunt men.
They are never tempted by other game.
They are neither fierce nor powerful,
and are relied on solely to trail the con
vict and lead his pursuers to his lair.
Underclothing.
Many outwardld fastidious persons,
who would shrink with borrot at the
idea of wearing a soiled shirt front.and
no matter what thee xpensn might be
would change collars and cuffs every
day, will wear their underclothing two
weeks without being washed. The
physiologist, aware at all times of the
insensible perspiration and the con
staut passage of effete matter through
the pores, would say"that it were much
more sensible, if needs be, to wear the
white shirt two weeks and have the
one next to the skin changed at least
twice a week. If you see the point we
have done our duty and you will proba
bly coutinue the old style, blockading
the drainage from the system, prepar
ing yourself to easily take colds or oth
er diseases. We would prefer as a close
companion or bedfellow, a coal heaver
or railroad paddy who performed his
abolutions daily and changed at night
for a calico shirt, to hundreds of per
sons in the higher walks of life, who
wear unsoiled external linen, bathe
once in two weeks and in the mean
time permit the exhallations from the
body to accumulate on their flannels.
Too Much. Style.
A prominent New York druggist is
spending the Winter in San Antonio,
for his health.
•What mout your trade be, stranger?'
asked the genial clerk of the local ho
tel.
'I am a pharmacist.'
'A what did yer say ?'
4 A pharmacist.'
'Why don't you talk English, and
say you are a hoss doctor.'
NO. 5
NBWOPAPER LAWS
If xubscrilwix nr'or *!• tliscnullpr.itHn: f
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and Executors' Notices *2.50. Transient advrr
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Insertion and 5 cents |r line fur each ttUlitlott
al Insertion*
In The Country Lawyer's
Office.
He wanted justice. Yoti Jcould see
that iu his eyes atar off. He didn't
want a little bit of justice weighed out
in a gingerly manner and done up in
coarse brown paper, but he wanted
justice by the car load and at wholesale
rates. lie hitched his old white horse
and dilapidated buggy in front of the
drug store, mounted the stairs running
up outside to the second story, and his
eyes brightened as they rested on the
tin sign on the door: 'George Boxem,
Attorney-at-Law.' The lawyer was in.
So were a two dollar desk, two fifteen
cent chairs, a huge cuspidor, and a rus
ty stove.
'Morning.'
'Morning.'
'l'm Jim White, sir. Live out by
Gray's Corners. Bought Tompkins'
farm, you know.'
'Ah !'
'Skinner jines farm with me. His
steers get into my corn. I want dama
ges, but he laughs at me. 1 turn my
hogs into liis 'Later patch.'
'Good ! I like a mau of spunk.'
'And he kills one of 'cm.'
•What!
'lie kills a hog worth two dollars.'
'You don't say! well, that man
ought to be made to understand that he
dosen't owu this country. What! an
outrage ! Haye you demanded pay.'
'Oh, yes, aud he said he'd like to
shoot me. 1
'ls it possible? Why, he's a danger
ous man, yery dangerous.'
'I came to ask you if—if—'
•Why, ot course you haye the best
kiud of a case against him, and it is
your duty to push it'
'Yes, I want justice, but now—how
much will—'
'Oh, the cost will be nothing. Just
leaye me $5 as a retainer and we'll
make Skinner sweat. I haven't beard
such an outrage for years. He proba
bly reasons that you are chicken-heart
ed and afraid of him.'
' WeH, he'll find that the Whites haje
as much grit as the Skinners.'
'And as much to law with ?'
'You bet 1'
'That's the talk 1 We'll make him a
very sick man. Your case appeals to
me .as a citizen as well as a lawyer.
Now, we'll secure a warrant as a star
ter.'
Skinner visits the other lawyer in the
same village, and the conversation is
about the same. White gets a warrant
for Skinner, and Skinner gets a warrant
for White.
First year—Two adjournments, a
disagreement, twenty-four days lost
time, and a cash expense of SSO to each
farmer.
Second year—Three trials, and disa
greement, four adjournments, one ap
peal, and a cash expense of $l5O to each
farmer. Time lost, thirty-five days.
Third year—Two trials, two appeals,
two decisions, and two farms pass in to
the hands of two lawyers.— N. Y. Sun.
Married People Would be Happier
If home troubles were never told to a
neighbor.
If expenses were proportioned to re
ceipts.
If they tried to be as agreeable as in
courtship days.
If each would remember the other
was a human being, not an angel.
If each was as kind to the other as
when hey were loyers.
If fuel and provisions were laid in
during the high tide of summer work.
If both parties remembered that they
married for worse as well as for better.
If men were as thoughtful for their
wives as they were for their sweet
hearts.
IT there were fewer silk and velvet
street costumes, and more plain, tidy
house dresses.
If there were fewer"please darlings"
in public and more common manners
in private.
If masculine bills for Havanas and
feminine ditto for rare lace were turn
ed into the general food until such
times as they could be incurred with
out risk.
AN eminent citizen of Detroit called
upon an eminent physician the other
day to consult him about his eyes.
'They seemed all right up to three or
four days ago,' said the emioeut citi
zen, 'but then I noticed that the left
eye was failing.'
'Do you wear glasses ?' asked the
physician.
'Oh, yes.'
'Let me see them ?'
They were passed over, and after a
brief inspection the physician broke in
to a hearty laugh.
'The trouble is with the left eye, eh?'
he queried.
'Yes, sir.'
'No wonder. Look at your glasses.'
The left hand glass had been lost
out.
-First-class job work done at the
JOURNAL office.