Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, October 15, 1885, Image 1

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    The Millkeim Journal,
PUBLIBHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hartmau's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OB #1.06 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANOB.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLHIIM JOURNAL.
BUStJYESS CARDS
DARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLIIEIM, PA.
Y B. STOVER,
Auctioneer,
Madisonburg, Pa.
-YY H.REIFSNYDER,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
D R JOHN F. HAUTER,
Practical Dentist,
Offlce opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIM STREET, MILLHEIM PA.
J") FT- D. H. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon
Cnico ou Main Street.
MILLHEIM, FA.
GEO. L. LEE^
Physician & Surgeon,
MADISONBCJRG, PA.
One* opposite the Public School House.
D R. GEO. A FRANK.
Physician A Surgeon,
REBERBBGRO, PA.
Office opposite the hotel. Professional calls
promptly answered at all hours.
P. ARD, M. D-,
WOODWARD, PA.
O. DBININGER,
Notary-Public,
Journal office, Penn at., Millheim, Pa.
WDsedi and other legal papers written and
acknowledged at moderate charges.
w. J. SPRINGER, I
fashtaaaMe Barber,
Havinq had many years'of experience,
the public can expect the best wort and
most modern accommodations.
Shop i doors west Millheim Banking House,
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.,
QEOBGE L. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Corner Main St North streets, 2nd floor.
Millheim, Fa.
Shaving, Haircutting, Shaospooning,
Dying, Ac. done in the most satisfac
tory toinner.
*-
Jno.H. Orris. C. M. Bower. Elite; L. Orris.
QRYIS, BOWER & ORVIS,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLBFONTE, PA.,
Offleo in Woodingafßniiding.
D. L Hastings. W. P. Seeder
-JJASTINGS A REEDER,
Atternejs-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office oenpied by the late firm of Yocum k
Hastings.
J" C. MBYEB,
Attorney-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
AttkeOffieeofSx-Jiidfe Hoy.
C. HEINLE,
- AttOTiey-at-Law .
BELLEFOKTE, PA.
In German or English.
- A. Bearer. *> W. Gephart.
■gEAVEB A GEPHABT,
Attsrneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street. North of High Street
BROUKERHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTB, PA.
O, G. McMILLEN,
PBOPBIBTOB.
Good Bam pJe Boom on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STBKET, BKLLEPONTE, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PBOPBZMOB
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev-
S2SSLS2S* birauaa
R. A. BUMILLER. Editor.
VOL. 59.
A Trying Time.
It takes a deal of courage for roe to
write this, for I am a bashful man ;
and, indeed, if I were not, one could
not wonder at my disinclination to
make public such peculiarity trying e
vents a3 occurred to me at the time of
Which 1 AM about lo write.
It was in the summer of 13—. Ned
. Nixon and myself were enjoying a
trip to the White Hills, and enjoying it
most heartily, too.
.1 shall never forget that ride through
tho Not oh. Tho outy persons lu the
stage besides ourselves were a jolly old
gentleman and two lovely girls—one
his daughter, the other his niece. AN
though strangers to us when we left
Couway, we were soon good friends,
for who can resist the sociability of a
stage-ride ? And when did two good
looking young men and two pretty girls
pass two or three hours together with
out scraping acquaintance ?
But I hurry over all this, for the
perspiration is already oozing from ev
ery pore at the thought of what befell
me, and of what I haye to record ; if
I do not hurry, I shall not have
strength to proceed.
We dined at the Mount Crawford, of
course, and late in the afternoon drew
up before Oibb's Hotel, which every
one remembers as lying at the foot of
Mount Washington.
The only drawback to the pleasure of
our ride had been the dust, and when
we stopped we were all dressed alike in
gray suits.
We were in haste to have rooms as
signed os, and make ourselves present
able. The young ladies were to'd by
their chaperon to wait for him in the
reception-room while he attended to
the luggage, etc.
Ned was marched off to the apart •
ment allotted him.
I hailed a green-looking son of Erin,
ar.d begging him to dispose of me in
the same way, was about to follow him
up-stairs, when I bethought me to look
after my truuk,that he might take that
with him.
Judge of my feelings when I found
that it had been left behind ! Here
was a pretty go 1 The driver could
not tell whether it was at the Mount
Crawford |or at Conway ; in either
case, I could not get it until the next
day.
Swearing was useless, so, with a mel
ancholy gesture, I bade Pat go ahead,
and following lilm up two pair of stairs,
was ushered into a very well fuminsh
ed and good-sized apartmeut. The
next thing was how to make myself
presentable at the tea-table without the
aid of the toilet hppurtenauces con
tained in my trunk.
As I surveyed myself in the glass, a
more deplorable figure could not well
he imagined, I took off coat and pants
and gave them to Pat, with orders to
give them a thorough beating and
brushing, oot of doors, and then bring
them up to me.
Before further disrobing for bathing,
purposes, I looked around my room,
and saw a door, apparently a closet
door. I opened it, and, sure enough
there was a marvelously spacious clos
et, which, in a hotel, is a great rarity.
I think some maligant fairy was be
hind me at that time, for what did pos
sess me to explore that closet so leis
urely ? and what else would have
caused the door to so nearly close be
hind me Y
Suffice it to say, these things did take
place, and, hearing a noise in the room,
I turned, thiuking to see Pat with my
coat and pants, when through the
crack where the closet door stood ajar,
I beheld entering my apartment the
young ladies who were our traveling
companions in the stage. I had the
presence of mind to draw the closest
door to befoie they had tamed toward
it, and faculties benumbed at the turn
of my situation, heard them cooly tell
the waiter that the room would suit
them very well—he might go down and
bring up their trunks. I shook in ev
ery limb. What was Itodo ? Speak
and make known the plight I was in,
thus making myself ridiculous, and
lose all chance of winning fayor in the
eyes of Fanny, for whom I had already
conceived a tender passion ? No, nev
er 1
What should be done ? Would the
waiter, returning with ray clothes,
make search for me, and finding, ex
pose me to the goze of Oh, hor
rors I my blood ran cold at the thought.
I found myself unable to think cleat ly.
The perspirstion was pouring down my
body, that is, if slowly trickling can be
called pouring, fur, mingling with the
dust, it became about the consistency
of good sugar-bouse molassas.
Meantime the young ladies were
throwing off their outer garments, and
expressing themselves well pleased
with their quarters.
| "This savors of romance, Fan," said
Mabel.
MILLHEIM PA, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15., 1885.
'•Ugh I" I inwardly groaned. "I
think sn, decidedly."
"Ii certainly dies," continued Miss
Mabel ; "to fall in with two such ele
gant young men, and so early in our
journey ; but Ned is my favorite."
"Theodore is mine, May," said Fan
ny. "I'm in love with him already."
(! began to think life had not lost all
its charms.)
"Well, then, we're both suited."
Here came a knock at the door,ana I
heard :
"The giutleman's clothes, ma'am."
"Gentleman's clothes ; there's no
gentleman here," said Fanny.
Wasn't there Y Oh, heavens 1 what
should Ido ? There were my clothes
going off before my very ears, aud no
knowing whether I should ever see
them again. Theie was no help for it,
and I heard Pat's bewildered tones as
he turned away from the door to look
elsewhere for the "gintleman."
This episode over, Fanny aud Mabel
commenced what appeared to be a dis
robing process, aud I was roused from
ray apathetic state of despair by hear
ing the former remark :
"I declare, my hones are nearly all
broken, May. What shall Ido ?"
A vision of my dear one with her
beautiful limbs fractured so tortured
me that I was on the point of rushing
to her assistance when I was horrified
by bearing her cousin reply :
"Never mind dear. I have a skele
ton in my trunk that I will lend you."
Goodness gracious, was I dreaming Y
What sort of people were these that
bioke their hones and inserted new (or
old) skeletons at their pleasure ? My
blood grew cold and hot by turns. I
lost all thought of my own predica
ment in my horror ; still the disroh*
ing of the maidens proceeded. Theu 1
heard the refreshing sound of splashing
water. I imagined—well, no matter
what. Ido not think I am accounta
ble for all that passed through my be
wildered brain at that time.
All this while It had seemed to me
that I could bathe and dress a regiment
in less time than it bad taken those
two young women. I had grown so
neryous that I was in imminent danger
of either laughing or crying aloud—it
seemed quite uncertain which.
What would Ned think had become
of me ? How was I ever to get out of
this place ? How get my wearing ap
parel Y
"Where under the sun are my
rats ?" demanded Fanny.
Here was new food for thought.
Were they Chinese Y Were the rats to
be cooked for their supper Y Are these
specimens of woman as a class ?
"Tntodore," said I to myself, "in
what a state of ignorance have you liv
ed, my boy I How innocently you
have always regarded the sex !
The rats seemed to have been captur
ed without difficulty, though, in spite
of my sufferings, 1 listened for squeals.
"Are the irons hot, Fan ?"
Horrors heaped upon horrors. Could
those two lovely girls he about to put
rats to death in that most inhuman
fashion Y I must protect against it;
and yet, the disgrace of being found.
No ; the rats might die before I would
venture a word in their behalf.
I find myself utterly unable to give
any adequate idea of my feelings dur
ing that terrible time, and occasionally
the thought of the ridiculous figure I
should present, could any one have
seen me, over came all other emotions,
and I came near iaughiog aloud.
At last (as near as I could judge) the
young ladies had completed their toil
ets. The rustling of silk told me that,
if I was ever to get out of my prison, 1
should soon have the opportunity.
The tea-gong sounded, and I felt like
shouting for joy. The old gentleman
knocked at the door of the .room, and
as the young ladies opaned it, I heard
the voice of my friend Ned. How
cheery it sounded, how refreshed be
seemed to feel, and how I ' wanted to
throttle him, as if he had been the
cause of my misfortunes. At last their
retreating voices and footsteps assured
me that I was safe, and with a bound I
sprang from my hiding-place, making
at once for the bell-rope and door-key.
Just as I reached the latter, the door
opeoed, and Ned stood before me !
Neyer shall I forget his expression.
Surprise, horror, incredulity, dismay,
everything that a man's face could con
vey, was there.
"Thode Marston "
"Stop, for Heaven's sake, Ned, and
help me," I exclaimed, piteously ; aud
in as few words as possible I told my
dismal tale.
In return be burst into a fit of laugh
ter, so protracted that I at first grew
enraged, then alarmed, lest serious
consequences should ensue.
Finally, after taking Miss Mabel her
fan, lor which he had returned to the
room, he succeeded in finding the wai
ter, who had an extra suit of clothes in
his hands, and who had so stupidly al
lotted another's room to me without
giving any notice at the office ; and by
A TAPER FOR THE NOME CIRCLE.
the time the ladies returned from tiie
supper room I was presentable, though
feeling lather weak in the joints, I
must confess.
Ned had promised secrecy upon his
honor, hut his black eyes did twinkle
when Miss Fanny asked how I had en
joyed myself sines our arrival,at which
1 blushed so excessively that I knew she
thought me a fool I confess that it
took me some days to recover from the
effects of that afternoon ; but Fanny's
sweet face, and ray ardent love for her,
drove all unpleasant impressions away
at last.
She is ray wife now ; and, for the
benefit of my bachelor friends, and lest
they should teel alarmed at some parts
of mf story, I will say that all that a
bout the bones, skelttous. rats, etc,
wasn't what I thonght at all ; in fact,
it was nothing terrible, and if they
want to feel sure of it, 1 would advise
them to get just such a wife as I have
and theu you will soon understand all
about it.
Nomination by Washington
Rejected.
The question of the probable aetion
of tho Senate in regard to the nomina
tions of the President recalls the first
instance of the rejection of a nomina
tion by the Senate. Benjamin Fish
bourne as naval officer at Savannah.
Washington, while promptly substitut
ing another name, sent a respectful re
monstrance to the Senate, showing a
painful consciousness of what he con
sidered to be a reflection cast upon his
judgment or his motives. He said
that he did not doubt the reason for
rejection seemed to the Senate to be
ample, but he submitted whether,
when the propriety of a nomination
appeared to be questionable, it might
not be expedient to ask the reasons.
He proceeded at once to state the
grounds upon which he made the
nomination, which were entirely
conclusive. Washington's statement
was so impressive that the Senate
immediately confirmed the nomination
of the subsitute, and no other nomina
tion of Washington's was ever reject
ted.
The only reason known for the refus
al of tbeSenate to confirmColonelFish
boume, was the opposition of Senators
from Georgia, which was supposed to
be political, and of the kind which has
since become so familiar.— Harper's
Weekly.
New Dodge.
'I beg your pardon,' said a slouchily
dressed individual, reaching for a burr
which adhered to the coat sleeve of a
gentleman just ahead ot him ; there's a
burr on your coat, sir; permit me to re
move it. 'Thank you, no consequence,'
said the gentleman, himself removing
the burr. The impecunious one struck
an attitude, told the regulation story
of hunger, and preferred a request for
10 cents with which to buy bread. He
got the money but still lingered. 'What
is it, my man ?* asked the gentleman.
'Please, sir,' replied the tramp, 'you
haye my burr in your hand. I'd like
it, if you please. It's my capital you
know V' 'Your capital V' 'Yes, my
capital; you see, I sticks it into a cove
what looke downy you know, and then
I steps up and takes it off. Sometimes
I only get thanks for my trouble, and
sometimes i don't get that much ; and
then some of them comes down hand
some. Yes, boss, that's my capital ;
couldn't do business without it ; haye
to shut up shop, you know.'
How Trees Pump Water.
Some idea of the necessity of preserv
ing our forests, in order to protect the
valleys from disastrous inundations
may be gathered from the fact that Dr.
J. M. Anders, in the official report of
the geological survey of Wisconsin,says
that the ayerage amount of water
pumped from the earth aud exhaled by
soft, thin-leaved plants in clear weath
er amounts to about one and one-fourth
ounce troy per day of tvvelye hours for
every square foot of surface. 'Hence,'
says the doctor, 'a moderate-sized elm
raises and throws off seven and three
fourths tons of water per day.'
It seems to be the ambition of young
wives to look well when any one calls.
A young bride heard a ring at tbe
front door. The maid was out, and
she rushed up stairs to '-tidy" a little
before admitting the caller, There
was a moment of lightning work before
the table. Quicker than it
takes to tell it, a ribbon was fastened
to her throat, a flower into her hair, a
flash ot powder on her face, and she
was at the door—all smiles and blush
es. Tbe "gentleman" said he had the
[cheapest clothes-props that could be
bought for the money.
Mrs. Cuttles Surprise Party.
LAST Thursday was tho annivers
ary ot Mr. Cuttle's marriage, and so
his wife thought she would get up a
little surprise party for his benofit.
She went around the neighborhood
with great secrecy and invited all the
neighbors, together with certain ol
her husband's business friends, and
laid out a prograuimo of refreshments
well calculated to please. Everybody
was to meet at tke house at nine o'
clock sharp, and give Mr. Cuttle such a
surprise when ho came home
as would start tho filling in his back
teeth. But it fell out that Mr. C uttle
had got hold of a bad headache that
day, and, contrary to custom, he came
home at seven o'clock. His wife was
out in the shed at the time, concocting
the low-necked ice-cream, and, not
finding her, Mr. Cuttlo went directly to
bed,and was sleeping as sound as a
bank watchman; and two hours later
when tho guests arrived, he was sche
duled for an all-night run, and no
stops at way stations. And all
innocently the merry, merry guests
filed in, speaking in hushed whispers
and treading on each other's dresses,
and were shown into the darkened par
lor, in order to jump out when Mr.
Cuttle should arrive, and thus make
the surprise absolutely perfect. And
there they stayed and stayed and
stayed and stayed for three never
ending hours, while Mrs. Cuttle ktpt
wondering whereever her husband
could be, and running to the door to
look for him, and crying, till a little
man in a red necktie,who was tired of
having a fat woman standing on bis
feet, wanted to know rather sarcastic
ally if it wouldn't be a good idea, just
byway of variety, to play something
else. Then Mrs. Cuttle went into her
bedroom to get a fresh handkerchief to
cry into, and when she turned up the
gas and saw her husband sleeping
there so gently and sweetly and peace
fully, and with anything but an ex
pression of surprise depicted on his
countenance, she went softly back to
where the guests were waiting, and
pointed out to them in a
calm and dispassionate way how
much better it would be to go home
quietly and say nothing about it
Everybody else felt that way, too, and
even seemed anxious abont it, while
the little man in the red necktie added
that while, for his part, he was probab
ly as fond of surpiise paaties as any
man alive, so far as his observations
extended it seemed to him in these
joyous occasions that it somehow made
a differance as to who was the party
surprised.- Rockland Courier Gazette.
A Foolish Father.
'My dear,' said a rich father to his
only daughter, a very fahionable girl,
you are about to be married and 1 want
to talk to you seriously.'
'Yes, papa,' she said, sitting herself
on his knee.
'George is a very worthy young man
and abundantly able to take care of
you; but this is a yery uncertain world.
Misfortunes may come when we least
expect them and it behooves us at all
times to be ready to fmaet them with a
brave, cheerful heart. If, through some
chance, your husband should loose his
fortune and be reduced to very humble
circumstances, do you think that you
could accept the new order of things
and help him as a true wife should ?'
'How can you ask such a question,
you foolish pa, when you know how I
adore George Y'
'This is all very well,' the old man
continued;'but could you, educated to
a life of luxury, as you haye been, re#o
lutely put aside the past and devote
"yourself to household duties, such as
cooking, and mendingsftnd—and sweep
ing, and all that sort of things V
'What a foolish, silly papa you are,to
bo sure,' replied the girl, playfully tap
ping the bald spot on his head, 'and
how ridiculously you talk. Why, the
servants would attend to all those mat
ters.'
There are no children any more. ]
The eleven year-old daughter of a fash
ionable lady of Marshall, Texas, was
observed to be in very deep thought.
•'What are you thinking about, Ma
mie ?" asked her mother. "I was just
wondering whether me or Tommy
Jones ought to pay the expenses."
"What expenses V" "The traveling
expenses of our bridal tour."— Texas
Siftings.
'Well, madam, how's your husband
bo-day ?' 'Why,doctor,he's 110 better.'
'iOid you get the leeches ?' 'Yes, but
he* only toox three of them raw—l Jiad
to fry the rest.'
#
Terms, SIOO per Year, in Advance.
A Great Piaotical Joker.
Hack Knober, editor of the Weekly
Ker Slosh, a hunnrou* paper, itches
for a prominent place among the jesters
of America. Ilis marked paragraphs
having failed to produce a sensation,
and ins long articles haying been de
clared to be as dismal as the screak of
a wooden hinge, he deemed upon mak
ing-some new attempt.
4 I notice,' he mused, one evening,
'that the best humorists in the past
were practical jokers. John Phoenix
and Artemus Ward made their greatest
hiU in this way. Now, if [ get up a
joke on some feller who travels around
some drummer who would come around,
and tell it—l would soon have a nation
al reputation.'
Hack was soon 'afforded an opportu
nity of enforcing this determination.
One night at the village hotel he notic
ed a nervous fellow who traveled for a
shoe house.
'That's my man,' mused Hack, 'l'll
have him standing on his head to-night.
How do you do ?—addressing the drum
mer.
'So, so. What sort of a place is this
you'ye got here ? Just now, while
standing out there, a dog came up, and
it was ail I could do to keep him off
me.'
'Must haye been a mad dog,' replied
Hack. 'Good many of them in the
neighborhood.'
' Well, that lets me out. I shall leave
here in the morning.'
Hack inquired the number of the
drummer's room, and late in the even
ing slipped in and got under the bed.
The druramor came iu after awhile
and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Hack growled like a dog.
'I hope,' said the drummer aloud,
'that I won't have another fit to-night.
I'd better throw this pistol away, for 1
might kill somebody. No, blamed if I
don't keep it I would'nt mind killing
a few such fellows as live in this town.
That fool editor ought to die.'
Hack did not growl.
'He ought to go this night. I feel
that thing coming on me. Believe I'll
sleep under the bed. Then, if any one
should come to kill me, they couldn't
find me.'
The sharp corners of Hack's bones
began to thump the floor.
'Believe I'll shoot under'there a coup
le of times.'
'For God's sake, hold on Mister I' ex
claimed Hack,crawling out 'I wasn't
doing anything I ' He made a break
for the door.
'Who is that awful fellow!" asked
Hack, when he reached the ofiice.
'Why, dou't you know him V
'No.'
* He's going to be your nyal here in
business. He has bought tbe News.
Saw him laughing just before he went
up. Said be was going to have some
fun.'
Hack groaned.
'Said one of the boys was trying to
play a joke on him. Said that he heard
that you were a great practical joker.
Don't be in a hurry. Told me that
when he got a chance he was going to
write you up. Well, good night, old
boy.'
The "Weekly Ker Slosh'* has sus
pended. Hack works at a steamboat
landing.— Arkansas Traveller.
No Time for That.
'Yes, the artificial banks along this
river made capital breastworks for the
Confederates,' said the pilot, as we
steamed down the mighty Mississippi.
'Safely sheltered by the heavy walls of
eaith, I've had more'n one crack at a
Yankee gunboat myself.'
'Then you were in the seryice ?'
'Must have been. I belonged to a
sort o' independent troop, and most of
our fighting was from these 'ere banks.
Do you see that grove away off up
there V
'Yes.'
'Well, in war times a big house stood
there. Fifty of us were eating dinner
there one day when somebody saw a
Yankee gunboat along about here. We
all rushed for the bank, and when she
came along we opened with our musk
ets. By and by she replied with a shell
from a big gun. It struck the bank
near the top and jisfc lifted about ten
wagon loads of dirt up in a heap aud
let it tall on our captain.'
'Kill him ?'
'No, I reckon not, but it buried him
clear out of sight.'
'How did he feel when you got him
out V
'We didn't git him out.'
'You didn't ? Why not!'
'Too busy holding an election for
some one to take his place. We couldn't
think of everything at once, you knew,
and then it was such a cheap and easy
way of burying a man. They might
have dug him out" since the war, but I
reckon he was no good. Been there
too long.'— Free Press.
It is said that Daniel Webster could
never go through the streets of Boston
without attracting altenion. This
may be. Boston streets are fearfully
crooked, and Daniel was not a teetota
ler.
NO. 40.
RAWBRAM LAWS
If flubscrihprs order the discontinuation of
newspapers, the publishers may continue to
send them until all arrearages are paid.
frsubst-rlbers refnse or neglect to take their
newspapers from the office to wjilefc they are sent
they are liehl responsible nm.il they have settled
the bills and ordered litem diefontlnned, - *
If subsci liters move tool her places without in
forming the pUWtsM*; Wsf>fti>ers are
sent to the former alacft, they are reajontlble.
„ UIJLUJU-JJL 1 ... 11JBJLI Il'-HJf"i-Ll
• * AOVWRRATNO RATWS.
- 1 wk. 1 mo. 8 mos. 6 mm. 1 yea
1 square * 200 * 400 * UO * 6uu SHOO
? - ,S8! -Usoo oo g&
One Inch makes a square. Administrators
and Executors' Notices Transient adver
tiscments and locals 10 cents per line lor lira
Insertion and 5 cents per line tor each addition
al. Insertion
Can Unset Diamonds be Indentifled
Wanting to buy a few precious stones
to distribute among my friends before
I get my life insured and go to the sea
side,! interviewed a diamond merchant
down town, and while we were compar
ing tbe gems tbe conversation turned
upon the difficulty of fndenti,fying dia
monds. Some people assert that they
can recognize a certain stone as accu
rately as other people can recognize a
certain mau. You take your diamonds
to be cleaned or reset and you are sure
that you receive the same stones again,
although others less valuable, or even
paste imitations, may have been substi
tuted. But the experts are sure that
tbey can neyer be deceived unless tbe
stone has been recuit. Upon this point
the diamond merchant told ma a good
story ;
One day another firm in tbe same
business—call it Smith & Jones—sent
him a diamond, which was very fine
and very cheap. It was set in a ring,
so that he could not weigh it; but after
examining It carefully he concluded
that ita cheapness must be caused by
some defect, and so he returned it to
the owners. Tbe next week an agent
called with another fine, cheap stone,
which my friend concluded to purchase.
Before binding the bargain he thought
be would take H over to Smith & Jones
and see what they said about it. Tbey
praised it enth usiasticaliy. ' Why, it's
a bargain 1' cried Smith, and so my
friend bought the diamond.
'Aha 1' said Jones, when they met
the next day, 'you did buy our stone
After all, and you paid SSO more for it
than we a9ked for it originally.'
This was gall and wormwood. My
friend hurried back to bis office and
looked at the diamond. Sure enough,
it was the stone that Smith & Jones
had sent to him. The clever firm had
angled for him through an agent and
caught him nicely. He matched the
diamond, had a pair of ear-rings made
and bided his time.
At last he gave the ear-rings and hi I
price to an agent and sent him out to
sell them. The agent came |back and
said; 'Smith & Jones want one of
these stones. Will you split the pair
'Yes,' said the diamond merchant,
6ell tbem this one,' and he took one of
the stones out of its settings ; the price
is so much a carat, as the color is very
fine.'
When the agent returned with the
check my frieud sat down and wrote
Smith & Jones the following note :
'Quits 1 You have bought back your
own stone and given me SB7 profit. I
prefer Pommery Sec.'
It was a case of diamond cut dia
mond ,and it confirmed my doubts as to
the possibility of identifying unset
stones.
The Insurance Agent and the
Dutchman.
A certain Dutchman, owner of a
small bouse, had effected an insurance
on it of eight thousand dollars,although
it had been built for mueh less. The
house got burned down,and tbe Dutch
mad then claimed the full amount for
which it had been insured; but the offi
cers of the company refused to pay
more than its actual value—about six
thousand dollars. He expressed his
dissatisfaction in powerful broken
English, interlarding his remarks>ith
some choice Tentonic oaths.
'lf you wish it,' said the actuary of
the insurance company, 'we will build
you a house larger and better than tbe
one burned donn, as we are positive it
can be done for even less than 9ix
thousand dollars.'
To this proposition the Dutchman
objected, and at last was compelled to
take the six thousand dollars. Some
weeks after he had received the money
he was called upon by the same agent,
who wanted him to take out a policy of
a life insurauce on himself or on his
wife.
'lf I insure your wife's life for four
thousand dollars,' the agent said, 'and
she should die,you would have the sum
to solace your heart.'
'You 'surance fellows is all fiefs !'
said the Dutchman. 'lf I insure my
yife, and my vife dies, and if I goes to
the office to get my four thousand dol
lars, do I gets all de money ? No, not
quite. You vill say to me, 'she vasn't
vert four thousand dollars ; she was
vert 'bout one thousand dollars. If you
don't like de one thousand dollars, we
vill give you a bigger and better yife V
The following is said to be the way
to build up a town,and we think it well
put:
Write about it.
Help to improve it.
Beautify the streets.
Patrcnize the merchants.
Advertise in the newspapers.
Elect good men to all the offices.
Pay your taxes without grumbling.
Be courteous to strangers who come
among you.
Neyer let an opportnnitj to speak a
word about it pass.
If you think of nothing good to say
about it say nothing bad.
Kemember tbat every dollar you in
vest as a permanent improvement is
that much money at interest.
Never "kick" against any proposed
necessary improvement because it is
near your own door, for fear your taxes
will DO raised fifteen cents.