Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, September 10, 1885, Image 1

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    The MiUheim Journal,
l'. Sb S ' v ; #M, >1 f
t>UUIJHHX ¥Y*a Y THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Pena St., nearHartmaa'a foundry.
ffil.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANOB,
OIfLM IP MOT PAID IN AOVAKCI.
AsQtaUs CBrrespondence Solicits
Address letters to MilUikim Journal.
BUSINESS CARDS.
IIARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
Y B. STOVER.
Auctioneer,
Madisonburg, Pa.
yf H. REIF3NYDER,
Auctioneer,
: MILLHEIM, FA.
13 R. JOHNF. HARTER,
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA.
D. H. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon
Offllce on Main Street.
MILLHKIM. PA.
GEO. L. LEE,
Physician i Snrgeon,
MADISONBURG, PA.
Office opposite the Public School House.
GEO. S. FRANK,
Physician & Surgeon,
REBBRSBURG, PA.
Offiee opposite the hotel. Professional calls
promptly answered at all hours.
P. ABD, M. D..
Physician 4 Snrgeon,
WOODWARD, PA.
O. DEININGER. ~
Rotnry-Publie,
Journal office, Penn st., Millheim, Pa.
JWPeeis nad other legal papers written and
aeknowtediead at moderate charges.
Fashionable Barker,
Having had many years' of experience,
the public can expect the beet work and
most modern accommodations.
Bbop 2 doors west Mlllbelm Banking HOUM,
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
Fashionable Barber,
Corner Main A North streets, 2nd Soor,
MiUheim, Pa.
Shaping, Haircut ting, Sbampooning,
Dying, Ac. done in the most satisfac
tory manner.
Jno. H. Orris. C. M. Bower. Ellis!L. Orris.
QRYIB, BOWER & ORVIS,
Attorneys-at-Law.
•7T y BELLBFONTE, PA., -t
Office te>%oodlagß|Bo tiding.
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Boeder
YJASTINGS A REEDER,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTK, FA,
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the offiee oenidsd hp the late Srm of Yocum A
Hastings.-
J C. MBpST
Attorney-at-Law,
BBLLJCFONTE, PA. .
At the Office of Kx- Judge flor.
A HEINLE,
Aitorney-at Law
Btttwara, PA.
Prateiem in all the courts of Centre county
ConaiUtatiouH
t A. Beaver. * jr. W. Gephart
BEAVER A GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLBFONTE, PA.
oil Alleghany Btreet. North of High Street
OROUKKRHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLBFONTE, PA.
C, G. McMELLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
BSJS
witnesses and Jurors
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BIBHOP STREET, BXLLIFONTX, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
RAOPUETOB
Hamenewly refitted ami refurnished. Bv
ervthing done to make guests corafo rtable.
lUtesmodera" tronage/espectfully soUci-
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 59.
A Quiet Home.
"Dear me 1" sighed Mr. Turmoyle,
as a burst of shrill, childish laughter
sounded from the nursery down the
hall stairs and into the sitting-room
where he was making out some ac
count. "I wish those children would
be quiet! Ain't it almost bed time,
Tillie ?"
"They are probably undressing,"Mrs.
Turmoyle replied quietly. "I'll go and
see if they are ready for bed."
"Do keep them quiet uutil they
are 1"
There was an interval of profound
•Hence, and in about half an hour the
mother returned.
"They are all asleep now," she said,
"Tom had dressed the kitten in Bes
sie's doll c'othes."
The accounts finished, Mr. Turmoyle
leaned back in his chair.
"I wish you had some management
with those children, Tillie," he said.
"I went over to Stone's on business last
evening, and you would not know
there was a child in the house, and
Stone has five while we have ouly
three."
4 'Perhaps they were abed."
"They were all in the next room,"
was the triumphant reply. "Stone is
proud of tbem, and well he may be.
There la Willie, just the age of our
Tom, studying Latin, instead of dress
ing a kitten in doll's clothes; and
Amy, who will not be four years old
for three months read 9 well and knows
the multiplication through. Look at
our savages I"
"They are getting along well at
school, dear. I think Mark is too
yonng yet to study : the others did
not go to school till they were five."
"And Tom just manages to write a
letter at twelve, Willie is at Latin
grammar. And as for manners, why
Tom will make more noise alone than
all five qf Stone's childreu together."
Mrs. Turmoyle, being a woman of
sense, did not continue the argument,
bat mentally resolved to see Mrs. Stone
the next day, and talk with her about
the wonderful secret of having five
children and a quiet bouse.
• "I am sure I cannot do it," the gen
tle loving mother thought, with a sigh.
Seated, the next morning, in close
conversation, the ladies presented a
contrast as marked as the atmosphere
of their two homes. The tiny,blue ey
ed woman, who had no heart to sup
press Tom's merry whistle or Bessie's
iangb, had left a home where constant
care only secured cleauliness, and
where childish disorder was manifest
everywhere except in the best parlor.
She looked at the tall dark-haired wo
man opposite her. noted the exqusite
morning dress, faced with light silk,
spotless and uurumpled, and thought
regretfully of the marks of ten chubby
fingers upon her own, printed there
when her baby boy, her darling Mark,
had just succeeded in forcing a piece of
his "sweetest candy" into mamma's
month. She ooted the dainty order of
the sitting room, where every chair
stood primly in its appointed place and
not even a thread rested upon the car
pet, and remembered Mark's stable for
his "spress cart" and horse under the
lounge, and Bessie keeping bouße on
the lower shelf of the book-case.
Visions haunted her, also, of clip
pings of paper, bits of string, and odds
and ends of dolls' finery npon tbe table.
Drifting from one scrap of matronly
talk to another, tbe ladies came natur
ally to tbe care and managemeut of
children, and Mrs. Turmoyle compli
mented her neighbor on the appearance
of her house and the proficiency of her
little ones. %
"I cannot understand bow yon ac
complish it," she said frankly.
"By system," was the reply. "The
education of my children liegins, I may
say, in their cradles. As soon as they
can walk they have their own proper
place in their own room, and are train
ed to perfect silence when older persons
are present.
Mrs. Turmoyle thought of the noisy
chorus of shoots, tbe eager recital of
tbe day's pleasares or accidents, that
greeted papa, aunties or uncles, in her
own nursery, and wondered if Tom,
Bessie and Mark could be trained to sit
quietly in one place for hours 'at a
time.
"At two years of age I teach my
children their letters, and after that
tbey are sent to school. All of them
were entered in a private school at three
years of age, and at a public school at
five. Iu tbe intervals of school hours
my boys ba7e geographical puzzles,
spelling games and problems, and the
girb are taught to sew."
"But when do they play ?"
"Their games and puzzles are suffi
cient amusement for the boys, and I
allow tbe girls to cut and fit clothing
for a large wax doll."
"But do they not have any hours for
running, balls, kites, and other out
door play ?"
MILLHEIM PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10., 1885.
"I disapprove entirely of out-door
play ; it ruins clothing, and makes
children rude. They have out-door ex
ercise in a long walk to and from
school." i
As she spoke, the hall door opened
quietly, and a fall of footsteps crossed
the hall to the sitting-room. Five chil
dren, three girls and two boys, came in
with lauguid footsteps, and pale race 9
from which all childishness seemed
stricken. Spotlessly clean, with shiny
hair and polished boots, they followed
in orderly fashion the lead of the eldest
who stood before his mother, awailii.g
her permission to sneak.
"Well, my sou ?" Bhe said quietly.
"There Is no school this afternoon ;
the senior class is to be examined," he
said, wearily.
"No school 1 Very well, I will set
you some sums after dinner, and flud
you some words to study iu the diction
ary "
Silently the five sat down and waited
till the visitor departed, uncomforta
bly conscious of ten weary eyes.and flye
pallid, pinched faces.
Crossing her own doorway, Mrs.
Tui raoyle was greeted by a merry du
et :
"No school I no school !"
Then the tenor :
"Won't you make some bobs for my
kite, mamma ? There's a splendid
wind."
Followed by a sweet soprano :
"And oh, mamma, you promised the
first holiday you would trim my doll's
bonnet."
"I want a kite,too ?" stuck in Mark.
"Ob, do let me get my bieath,"cried
the little woman. 44 Where'a your hat,
Tom ?"
"Oh, I forgot," said Tom, sweeping
it off with a profound bow. "Here,
cake this chair, and let me take your
bonnet aud sacque up stairs. You are
yery tired."
"I'll help make tbem," said Bessie ;
"and I'll go and watch Tom mamma,
if you don't feel like trimming the bon
net."
"We'll see after dinner," said Mrs.
Turmoyle, looking from one round,
rosy face to the other, marking the
sturdy limbs and dancing eyes. To be
sure the hair of all three must be redu
ced from a state of rebellion before
they were presentable at the table, and
soap and water were pleasant sugges
tions in the maternal eyes. There was
perfect health and happiness, if tbe
voices were shrill and boots noisy.
"I've been to see Mrs. Stone," she
said, when washed and combed, the
children gathered around her to . wait
for papa and dinner, "and I wondered
if I could ever make my children as
quiet and orderly as hers are."
"Willie Stone is a milk-sop 1" said
Tom, contemptuously. "Always cry
ing because his head aches 1 He can't
play anything, and daren't move for
fear of spoiliug his clothes. Wouldn't
play foot-ball for fear of getting du9t
on his shoes ! There's a nice boy for
you—he might as well be a girl I"
"And mother the teacher had to
write a note to Mrs. Stone tbe day
John Gray spilled the ink on Maud's ft'
pron. She was so afraid to go home,it
was awful I She said her mother would
whip her, and keep her on bread and
water for a whole day. Miss Lee told
her to say it was not her fault, but she
said her mother would not believe
her."
"Dinner-and here comes papa I"
cried Tom.
Mr. Turmoyle came in with a very
grave face. He made no comment on
the boisterous announcement of the
holiday, but stopped to kiss the rosy
faces with unwonted tenderness. Af
ter dinner be seut the children to tbe
nursery, and he said to his wife, who
had been anxiously watching his cloud
ed face :
"Tillie, I met Dr. Holmes on my
way home, and he tells me that there
have been three cases of scarlet fever
from the school. It is raging fearfully,
he says."
Mrs. Turmoyle turned pale.
"In the school V" she murmured.
"Well among the scholars."
There was a little more to say, but
the h6art of each parent sent up a pe
tition to a kind Heavenly Father to
keep the plague from their door.
Yet it came. A week later Mark
sickened, and ;in three days more all
three were down. Tender,loving care,
and unexpected docility of patients,car'
ried the little Turmoyles safely out up
on the road to health again. The most
nauseous medicines were swallowed if
mamma coaxed,and the most stringent
stillness was observed when papa was
discovered to have tears in his eyes be
side Bessie's crib.
Tbe day the children assembled in
tbe sitting-room for the first time was
a galla day, but papa was observed to
have a sad face.
"While we are thankful, dear chil
dred," he said, "for our blessings, let
us not forget to sympathize with tbe
sorrows of others. Willie and Maud
A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE.
Stone wore buried to day, and Amy
will be deaf for life. The others aro
still very ill."
At bed-time, when the children slept
the sleep of convalejoeuca, Mr. Tur
moyle came to the nursery, where the
blue-eyed wife was laying out the
morning clothing.
"Ti'lie," he said drawing the little
woman close in his strong arms, "I
have had a long talk with Dr. Holmes,
and I cmnot rest until I thank you for
our unbroken uursery. Next to God
you have saved our children."
"I am sure you never spared your
self in uuraing," saufMra. Turmoyle.
"The nursing was ihe smallest part
of it. Dr. Holmes says it was not the
scarlet fever that killed Stone's chil
dren, but the mother's system. The
fever faund overtaxed brains, bodies
weakened by want of exercise, tempers
made sullen by a deprivation of all chil
dish pleasures. They were nursed by
system, no allowance being made for
weakness or suffering, and the two
that are gone but precede the two that
are dangerously 111. If they recover
from the fever they will never reach
maturity unless their mother sees her
error. 4 You may thank your wife's
management for your children,' the
doctor said to me ; 4 there was some
thing to build upon in the sturdy
frames of those young savages.' "
Mrs. Stone could see no fault in her
system, though two little graves attest
ed its weakness. Her children, recov
ering from the fever, there was no re
laxation of home rule, and listless, pale
and dull-eyed, they went back to the
routine.
Four years passed away, and Tom
left home for boarding-school, a gentle
manly boy of sixteen, well up in his
studies, and in perfect health. Driv
ing home from the station, after start
ing upon his journey, Mr. and Mrs.
Tuimoyle passed Mr. Stone's band
some house, prim and spotless, the gar
den a miracle of order, and no sign of
busy little feet on the walk or border."
"Poor Stone I" said Mr. Turmoyle.
"He frets sadly lor Amy."
"It was hard to lose her—the last of
the five," said
she was such a patient child after she
lost her hearing."
"Too patient. There will be no
need now of any system in training.
Five children, all under the sod ! Ob,
Tillie, thank God we have not such a
home as the one we just passed 1
Thank God for the merry voices, clear
laughter and even the crying of Baby
May 1 May he guard and ble9B our lit
tle ones, and give them good health,
right principles and happiness, rather
than give us the doubtful blessings of a
quiet home."
Not Muoh of a Fool After All.
Sam Wednesday, and impecunious
citizen of.Austin, was supposed to be
crazy, and his relatives brought him
before the county court to have a
"lunitaco inquirendo" pass on his
mental condition, his delusion being
that he was very rich. A lawyer
proceeded to ask the crazy man ques
tions to test his sanity.
•I heard that you are going to build
a $50,000 residence.'
'lt is going to cost $60,000.'
'You don't say so.'
'Yes, and I am going to start a
daily paper with $250,000 capital.
That's a mere trifle for a man of my
means.'
4 You seem to have so much money,
perhaps you would not object to lend
ing me a thousand dollars.'
'l'd like to do |it, Judge, hut that
would be such a risky investment,
everybody would suspect me of being
crazy.'
The refusal of the supposed lunatic
to seriously entertain the idea of lend
ing money to an Austin lawyer caus
ed the jury to decide that Sam was in
lull possession of his reasoning facul
ties.— Texas Siftings.
Stepping Stones to Suooess.
Learn your business thoroughly*
One to-day is worth two to-morrows.
Always be in a haste, but never in a
hurry.
Whatever is worth doing at all is
worth doing well.
Never fait to keep your appointments,
nor to be punctual to the minute.
Be self-reliant; do not take to too
much advice, but rather depend on
yourself.
Never be idle, but keep your hands or
mind usefully employed except when
sleeping.
He that ascends a ladder must take
the lowest round. All who are above
were once below.
Make no haste to be rich; remember
! that small and steady gains give com
petency and tranquility of mind.
The Vanity of Men.
"Who buys them ?" asked a roporter
in a Kearney street "notion" shop,
pointing to a lot of tiny pocket mirrors,
with nail-cleanerß,tootbpick and comb,
all complete.
"I suppose you think the ladies are
our best customers," said the "notion"
man, "but it is not so. Meu, sir—v#in
men- are the pickora-up of these un
considered trifles."
"Pretty men ?" inquired the repor
er.
The salesman grinned. "It don't
matter much how they look," he
said, 44 whether they are aires or Apol
los ; tbey want a pocket mirror all the
same. They retire every hour or so to
some secret place to admire themselves.
Talk of the vanity of women ! Indeed !
It pales, sir ; it fades away into insig
nificance by comparison with the ad
miration the majority of men have for
their own mugs."
4 'Could you mention—not for publi
cation, of course, but for individual
satisfaction—the names of some of
these purchasers ?"
The notion man looked grave. "I
could not give away the secrets of my
prison-house," he said solemnly. "I
never trust a newspaper man, and in
the present regard I hold tbe confidence
these gentlemen have reposed in me as
sacred. Why, there are some half a
dozen who, entertaining a great respect
for my critical judgment of physical
beauty, step in here every day to in
quire how they are looking. Then it
is, 4 Am I pale to-day, Jim V' or 4 Do
you think my color is too high, Jim ?
or 'That left eye brow is growing a tri
fle heavy ; don't you think I'd better
have it trimmed off a bit ?' If I say
your color is too high, my friend is off
to the barbers for a dab of powder, or
—but this is a dead secret—we accom
modate him in this shop. If be is too
pale we tinge him op. It's wonderful,
positively wonderful. Now, the ugli
est men are the toughest. If there is
the slightest blemish in a pocket mir
ror, they won't take it, because, for
sooth, it may not faithfully reproduce
their bright pearl beauty."
"But there are different degress of
vanity among these male beauties, are
there not ?"
"No, sir ; there is but one degree
and that is the superlative, but there
are different degrees of candor. Some
are modest and will declare that their
moustaches or beard are always getting
tangled. Now. there's a good-looking
blonde railroad agent on Montgomery
street who bought a six-by four mirror
from me the other day, which he keeps
in bis breast pocket. He is a glutton
about his personal beauty, he is ; but
a real estate man, a fair, stout young
person whose office is near him, has
found oat that he has this glass and
begs the loan of it a dozen times a
day."
"Then, as a matter of fact, you hav9
more customers among gentlemen for
those pretty little articles than among
the other sex ?"
"Five to one, sir ; the percentage
of those who carry pocket-mirrors is
small among ladies, but eight out of
every dozen men have one stowed away
in the vest pocket. Why," continued
the notion man, "some big, smirkiug
fellows—business men—have come in
here and asked me if I could teach
how to blush. Just think of it. Fel
lows in the forties, sir, who have not
known a blush for twenty years, be
lieve it would be becoming to them if
they could flush up like a moss rose
when a girl glances at them. The an
cient rounder got hold of the secret
and made all the rest hopping mad to
to learn it. You won't give it away ?
Wall, when he wanted to blush he'd
jab a pin into his leg and keep his
month shut."
44 What did the mouth have to do
with it ?"
44 Because the pin would make him
feel like swearing aud keeping back the
blasphemy was the effort that suffused
his cheek. That's the true business,
s'help me. Do you want to look at any
nice pocket combs to-day ? No. Then
excuse me, for here's a dude that
does," and the philosopher resumed his
professional air and, advanced on the
customer with interlaced fingers and a
captivating smile.— San Francisco Dai
ly Alta.
The largest room in the world un
der one roof and unbroken by pillars
is at St. Petersburg. It is six hun
dred and twenty feet long by one
hundred and fifty in breadth. By
daylight it is used for military dis
plays, and a battalion can completely
manoeuvre in it Twenty thousand
wax tapers are required to light
it. The roof of this structure is a sin
gle arch of iron, and exhibits remark
able engineering skill in the architect.
Keep at one thing—in nowise change.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Ato
SARAH AW JOJES' PAPERS.
Rominlocencre of Farm Lifo—What
Oarno of Jeremiah's Leaving
the Gate Open.
One raorningin July Iliad to bake
bread and churn, besides doing all the
other housework, so I put the bread in
to the stove oven, and I took the churn
and set it down under a big oak tree
that stands in the back ynrd.
I had just commenced working the
churn when I saw Jeremiah pass
through the gato into the barnyard.
'Jeremiah,' says I, 'you have left the
gato open.'
'Never mind,' says he, 'I am coming
back in a minute.'
I didn't |think any more about the
gate then, but just as I was ready to
take out the butter, I happened to look
over into the potato patch, and there
was a hog rooting up the potatoes.
I called, 'Jer-e-mi-ah !' as loud as I
could scream, but all I heard in reply
to this patriotic appeal was the word,
'Jer-e-mi-ah 1' echoed back from the
barn.
My eyes wandeiedback over the land
scape in search of my absent husband,
and finally beheld him about a quarter
of a mile away, seated on the top of a
rail fence in the shadeof a large cotton
wood, talking to Bill Jinks, who was
in the lano on the other side of the
fence, burdening the back of an old
horse, that I always called Bonaparte,
not because lie was an uncommonly
ambitious auiinal, but because the
greater part of him was composed of
bones.
I am well acquainted with both men,
and I know that there was little likeli
hood of Jeremiah returning to the house
for the next two hours, so I reluctantly
left the churn and went to the rescue
of the potatoes. As I started 1 called
the]dog. Tige had followed Jeremiah,
and knowing that be had gone to sleep
in the shade of the cottouwood, but as
soon as he heard me call him.he started
on a run. Jeremiah heard me at the
same time, and slid down off the fence,
and sauntered leisurely towards the
house.
A hog can always see if a gate is left
open when he wants to get into mis.
chief,but never when you want to drive
him out. Fiye times that four-footed
quadruped and myself revolved around
that potato patch at a speed that would
have started the prespiration on a liv
ing skeleton in January, but when we
passed the gate the sixth time, the
brute struck up toward the house, and
he and Tige met and had a wrestling
match in the butter and buttermilk
where I had left the churn. The milk
house door was stauding wide open and
I made a rush for it, but before I could
re.ich it I saw the hog dart through it,
followed by Tige. I heard a tremen
dous squealing and tearing around in
the milk-house, and pretty soon Tige
came leading the hog out by the ear. I
looked within, and if I ever saw de
struction I saw it there. For a mo
ment I forgot everything but the sad
spectacle before me, but—
"Sunk in self-consuming anguish
Can the poor heart always ache ?
No, the tortured nerve will languish,
4>r the strings of life must break."
And fortunately 1 was aroused from
my sorrowful meditations by the voice
of Jeremiah exclaiming as he came a
round the corner of the house :
4 What's all this row about, Sally
Ann ?'
I replied to Jeremiah's question by
giving him a very forcible lecture con
cerning his carelessness, then I turned
around and went into the kitchen
where I found my bread burnt as black
as a coal. I had just taken the bread
out of the oven when I heard some one
knock at the door.
I wiped the prespiration from my
face, and obeying the summons, found
myself face to face with Mrs. Gumbrel,
the worst gossip in the country. I felt
like shutting the doer in her face, for I
was sure that she had heard the close,
if not the whole of my lecture to Jere
miah. I tried, however, to act as if
nothing unusual had occurred.
'Good morning, Mrs. Jones,' said
she.
'Good morning, Mrs. Gumbrel, says
I.
'Won't you come in ?' says I.
'Yes, I'll come in for a minute or
two,' says she.
'Will you take off your bonnet,' says
I.
'Yes,' says she, 'l'll take it off while
I stay, for I can cool better with it off.'
She took off her bonnet, and I knew
then she had something to communi
cate before she left, and I resigned my
self to endure her company until she
was ready to leave. I didn't have to
wait long, for she was anxious to un
burden her mind.
'Did you hear about the picnic?' says
she.
'What picnic ?' says I.
'Why,'says she, 'Mrs. Brown is go
ing to have the young folks oyei, in
their wood lot, next Thursday after
noon, to a picnic.' v
'Well,' says 'I, 'if there's anything
that 1 hate and detest and abominate
and despise it's a picnic; but, of course
the young folks won't feel that way a
bout it, so I must do some cooking for
Jacob and Dayid.'
NO. 35-
KBWWAPBB LAWS)
If mitwriber* orU<*r the gtaaaUatiatloa of
U fioNlshers f oontilio® to
seud them until all mrearapes are pMii. Je
Jf ftubtwrltvra >'fue or nestleef. totkfe tastf
newspawra from the office to which they arc ** nt
IHey are hew responsible nntfl they wtisetftoii
tho bills uiid ordered them dlsooottwied.
If utibserlber* move toother ptoss trftiiotitlts
forinlna the puWieher,- and the MWWifeM *•
ciil to the former place, they are toqiMMAbl*.
lwk. l mo. IShroa 6BM*. iyea
1 square S2OO *4OO *BOO *6OO #8 1)0
fnw?tto?)and? Soon ta jStr^Jne
aUlnsertlon
•O,' says she, 'your boys aie not to be
invited.'
'Mow do yon know that V'aays I.
'Why,' says she, 'I beard Mrs. Jink
ins teli Mrs. Green, that she heard Mrs.
Brown tell Mrs. Sikee, that'she wasn't
going to invite anybody bat the most
respectable families, and shfe named
several families that she intended to
leave out, and your family was one of
them.
I was pretty well stirred up any way,
and I didn't stop to think what I was
saying, so, says I, 'l'd like to know
wliat lias mode the Browns so mighty
respectable all at once. Maybe my
boys are not as respectable as Brown's
boys, but 1 know that JeemWs lath
er was never put in jail for bog stealing
and my mother wasn't a washerwo
man.'
'La, Mrs. Jones!' says she, 'was
Brown's father put in jail for .tog-steal
ing, and was Mrs. Brown's mother a
washerwoman ? Well, I declare J I
had never heard of that before, but I
always did think they was a kind of a
low set for all they put on such big
airs.'
1 took a thought then about what I
was saying,- so, says I, 'I did'nt say
whether they were or not, I said mine
and Jeremiah's wasnt.
She started soon afterwards, and
struck a bee line for Brown's.
A few days afterward, Jeremiah
came home in a terrible state of anxie
ty. He said that Brown was threaten
ing to prosecute me for slander .because
I had told Mrs. Gambrel that he used
to steal bogs for allying, while bis wife
took in washing.
'That all comes of leaving gates open,
Jeremiah,' says I.
'I don't see what leaving gates open
has to do with lettiog yoar tongue run
about business that don't concern you,'
says he.
'Well,' says I, 'I was so worried by
the trouble that I wasn't responsible.'
Jeremiah pat on his hat and went
out to the barn, and Cor a wonder shot
the gate after him. I sent the follow
ing note to Brown through the postef
dce.
'MR. BROWN—I'm not afraid of yonr
prosecution, but remember that you
are a candidate for Sheriff .and if I bear
any more of your gab, I'll tell all I
know about you.'
I never received any reply to that
note, and I suppose Brown must have
been guilty of some meanness that be
thought I knew about,for I heard noth
ing more about a slander suit.
The families of Brown and Jones
however, have not been in speaking
terms since.
A Smart Scheme.
Two darkies had to carry a large
desk to the boose of Dr. Blister, who
had bought it at a furniture store.
When they arrived with the desk he
was in and directed them where to put
it. The darkies expected to get a quar
ter apiece at least for their extra troub
le, but alas ! the doctor did not give
them anything at all. He forgot all -
bout their sufferings In carrying the
heavy desk up two flights of stairs.
They consulted together for a mo
ment in the hall, and then they began
to fight and pound each other, calling
each othei all manner of vile names.
No such uproar had besn heard since
the adjournment of the Legislature.
Dr. Blister hearing the noise, came
out and wanted to know the cause of
the disturbance.
'Dis heah nigga kep' for hisself de
money what yon giv him for us bole,
fortotin'de desk up de stairs,' said
Sam.
' You is a liar. De doctor didn't gib
me de money. You got de money and
kep' It,' retorted Jim.
'You are both wrong, boys,' said Dr.
Blister, 'I didn't give either of you any
thing, but I'll make it all right. Don't
fight any more,' and taking out his
pocket book he gave them a quarter I
each.
Those who assert the colored man
has no executive ability should ponder
over this item.— Texas Si/tings.
Salt to Keep Flies Away.
"
'What's that for V asked a customer
of a waiter in a Smithfield Street res
taurant.
The waiter had a bag of table salt in
his hand, and was sprinkling the con
tents behind the counter and on the
floor where the crumbs might fall.
'lt's to keep the flies away,' replied
the waiter.
♦How does it do it V
'Can't say, sah, ask the manager.'
'We find,' said the manager, 'that by
sprinkling salt where there are broken
vifcuals, dirty plates, and other things
which attract flies, we can keep these
pests away. It fIUS the air with Saline
particles, and we have no trouble at all*
You can see that this is so by looking
here.'
Scraps of bread, melon rinds, and
broken meats and pieces of plates were
in baskets and shelves behind the coun
ter, but there were not a dozen flies in
its—Pittsburq Chronicle,
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