A STUTTERER'S STORIES. Witticisms of a Prominent New York Millionaire. Sayings that Have Made William R. Travers Famous in the Metropolis. The New York Times says that per haps the most popular man in the city among Wall street bankers and brok ers, up-town club men patrons and fol iuwerajofthe tuif. and members of the New York Athletic Club and the Rac quet Club is William R Travels. Al though a thorough and well-informed man of business, an able financier, and a capitalist, he is known best through his geniality, his kindly feeling toward young men, and his witty and humor ous remarks. Tall and erect, he car ries his 70 years as briskly as a man of 40. In public places Mr. Travers is inclined to be reserved, and glimpses of his humor have depended on his inti mate acquaintances for circulation. His wit never screens malice, but it frequently stings, being at times near the truth. But above and through all is an obstruction of speech that in most cases has added to the humor of his say ings. and so many of them have passed current in late, years that it seems ap propriate to gather together the best of those that have appeared in print at various times: A former acquaintance in Baltimore met him in Broadway, and, turning a aide, began to chat with him. * You stammer more since you have lived in New York,' the friend remark ed in the course of the talk, Than you did in Baltimore.' 'B-b-bigger place, 1 Trayers replied At the call of the list in the Slock Exchange a dispute arose oyer a bid for a stock. Mr. H. G. Stebbins is credit ed with being the gentleman in opposit ion to Mr. Trayeis. Stebbins asserted that he named the price. •It may be that Mr. St-Stebbins g-got through b-before 1 did, b-but I'll b-be banged if I didn't b-begiu b-before h-he did,' Travers replied. The stock was awarded to him. A story told about him in Brooklin relates to a visit there to attend the wedding of the daughter of a friend who lived in Montague street. It was his first visit in the neighborhood, and after he had ascended the stairs half way up the hill from the ferry he went astray in Montage-terrace, and was at length compelled to ask for directions. •1 desire to reachM-Montague street,' he said to a passer by. ' Will you b-be Uind enough to p-oint the way?' •Yon are g-going the wr-wrong way,' was the stuttering reply. 'That is M- Montague street.' 'Are you m-making fun of me, m mimicking m-me?' Travers asked stern ly. 'No-no, I assure you, Sir,' the other replied, with all due haste to repair an apparent lack of good manners. 'I-I am b-badly af-afli-aflicted with an ob struc-struction of speech.' 'Why d-don't you g-get c-cured ?' Travers asked, with mischief in his eyes. *G-go to Dr. and you'll g-get c-cured. D-don't you see how well I talk ?' He c-cured m-me.' Two raps for Henry Clews, the bank er, are recorded. It ba& been a frequent boast of Mr. Clews that he is a self made man. Travers heard him on one occasion, and immediately dropped into a sort of reverie with his eyes fixed on Mr. Clew's bald pate. 'Well, what's the matter, Travers ?' Clews asked, somewhat impatiently. 'H-Henry,' Travers inquired, 'didn't yous-s-say you were a self-made man ?' 'Certainly; I made myself,' Clews re plied warmly. 'Then, when you were ab-b-bout it, why d-didn't you p-put m-more h-bair on the t-top of your head ?' The famous Vanderbilt ball exercised many gentlemen on the question of characters and costumes. Mr. Clews was in a quandary, and he applied to Travers for a suggestion. It appeared that Travers had taken advantage of his friendly relations with Wallack, Mapleson and Abby by sending inquir ing friends to them for permission to select from their theatrical wardrobes. The story goes that the managers h J mildly hinted to Travers that patience with the 'fashionables' had ceased to be a virtue, and Travers was not inclined to fayor any more. 'Clews,' he said,after some reflection, 'why d-don't you sh-sh-sugar coat your brhead and g-go as a pilji ?' Besides knowing how to rap others Travers knows when he receives a rap. Going up town with several brokers, Trayeis spied a man selling parrots in front of St Paul's church. 'H-bold on,boys,' he said mysterious ly, 'we'll nave some f-fun.' Hailing the parrot seller and indicat ing one of the birds, Travers asked : 'C-can that p-parrot t-talk V 'Talk ?' the man replied with a con temptuous sneer. 'lf he can't talk bet ter than you can I'll wring his blamed neck.' 'C-come on, b-boys,' Travers called out; 'this f-fun is p-post-p-poned until another d-day.' A young friend, who had taken his advice in regard to a fortunate specula tion and withdrawn his money from Wall street, bought a house. Subse quently Travers met him and asked how the house suited. 'The house is all right, Mr. Travers,' the friend le plied;'but I am yery much troubled with rats.' 'G-get a c-cat,' Travers suggested. 'l've had a dozen, but the rats actually drive them out of the house.' 'G-getad-dog,' was Travers's second suggestion. 'I know where you o-can g-get a g-good d-dog.' He rec commended his friend Harry Jennings, the dog fancier, and agreed to go and help in selecting a dog. One was thought worthy and Jennings having put a dozen or more rats in a pit, it was thrown in to show how quickly it could kill them. The dog killed all ex cept one—a gray bearded old rat almost as big JUS the dog—which seized the dog by the lower lip and held on. The dog yelped with pain and tried to shake off the rat, hut without effect. Travers, who was thoroughly excited and run ning around the pit, shouted : 4 B buy the rat 1 B-buy the rat!' ADVKi: TO itIOTIIEKN. Are you disturbed at night, and broken of your rest by a slek child suffering and crying with pain of cutting teeth ? If so, send at once and get a bottle of MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING STRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING. Its value Is Incalculable. It will relieve the poor little suf ferer immediately. Depend upon it, mothers, there is no mistake about it. It euresdysentei y and diarrhoea, regulates the stomach and bowels, cures wind colic, softens the gums, re duces Inflammation, and gives tone and energy to the whole system. MRS WINSLOW'S SOOTH ING SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING is pleasant no the taste, and is the prescription of one of the oldest and best female nurses and physlel tns In the United States, and is for sale h> all druggists throughout the world. Price 2.1 cents a bottle. A traveling man, representing an Eastern house, had for a companion while in Texas a native of that State, and he found him very yaluablo. One day they reached a town and going to a hotel, they put up for the night. About three o'clock in the morning the East ern man was awakened by the Texan, who told him that the house was in the hands of a mob,looking for a New York man who had.put up a job on the towns ptople and got away with four thous and dollars. •Where is the mob? ' stammered the traveler,while the cold chillsjran a foot race down his spinal column, with side tracks around the ribs. 'Comin' up stairsjookln' for the dut fer,' auswered the Texan, enjoying the prospect of haying some fun. 'But I'm from New York, and they may make a mistake, wailed the travel er, scared worse than ever. 'No, they wou't neither; allyergot to do is to look sick, an'you bet the boys ein't a goin' to hurt a sick man.' 'Look sick, thunder !' groaned the New York man. 'There's no need of looking sick. lam sick. Sick? I nev er wos so d sick in my life, and if I get out of this scrape with a whole hide I'll give up my job before I'll get caught in Texas again.' Powerful Water. Uncle Zack Baker, of Benton county, is interested in a mineral spring. He has not attempted to introduce a bill offering the spriug as an amendment to the constitution, a piece of legislation, though, which may be expected of him. 'What is the water good for ?' asked the speaker of the house. 'Good for everything. It. will cure any ca.se of the 3'aller janders in the world. Tell you what's a fact. A fel low came along some time ago with a yalltr dog. lie was the yallerest dog I ever saw, but he fell in that spring and when he came out he was as white as a sheet. 'How is it for rheumatism ?' 'l'll tell you what's a fact. Do you know young Alf Wilson V' I 'I think so.' 'Well, Alf had the rheuraatiz so bad that he had to carry one kg on his shoulder. He drank that water for three weeks and can now jump a ten rail fence.' 'Will it cure lying ?' 'Will it ? Tell you what's a fact. A Little Rock newspaper man come up here some time ago and now you can al most believe half of .what he says.— Arkansaw Traveler. —The Millheim Marble Works are turning out some yery fine work. The yard is full to repletion of excellent monuments and headstones of beauti ful and chaste design. Mr.- A. O. Musser, the proprietor is an expert me chanic and a square mau to deal with while his prices canj not be undersold anywnere. 3t - ■ i —Deininger's Ready Reference Tax Receipt Book ts growing in public fa vor. Customers from a distance are beginning to call for it. It is an ad mitted necessity for every tax-payer who does his business in a practical manner. It it arranged to last for ten years and sells at the low price of 40 cents. Call and see it at the JOURNAL Store. tf LITTLE GIANT GANG Lath & Picket Mill. Bowlby & Co., Sunburv Pa. - i Manufacturers. 1 E. H. ZIMMERMAN, Millheim, Pa. Persons wishing to procure one of these machines will please apply to E• H- Zimmerman- APrWTQf° r Lucrative, Healthy, Hon- HCTijlil iOorable A Permanent business ap plyto Wilraot Castle & Co., Rochester, N. Y. To Stake Life Brighter. The dyspeptic's lot is not a happy one. Ben son's Capelne Plasters are the remedy. Price 25 cents. 49-4t DO YOU KNOVT THAT Lorillard's Climax PLUG TOBACCO with Red Tin Tag; Rose eaf Fine Cut Chew Navy Clippings,andßlack, Brown und Yellow SNUFFS are the best and cheapest.qual- Ity considered. GUNS! GUNS, Till EEC II LOA /> EES, from SI.OO for a single shot gm., up to SIO.OO. DOUBLE 11. L. SIIOT GUNS, from $13.00 for a good serviceable gun, to $35.00 for something extra. DEVOLVE US, from SI.OO up to SIO.OO. WINCHESTER RIFLES, Model '73, Central Fire $17.00 '7O, '• *• twenty eight inch barrel SIB.OO Muzzle loading shot < wis from $2.50 for a single gun,ss.so for a double gun. FISHINGTACKLE! SET NETS, 7 Hoops, *1.50, 8 Hoops*2.'2s. THROW NETS, feet #3.00, FINE J A J'A NESE It A MItOO POLES, for 20 ets. each. JOINTED (:) RODS, Coots, A line asortnient of LINES from 1 oont to sl. Also an immense assortment of //OOA'S",loose and si.ollod. Fine Hods, Fish in a Baskets, Leaders, Flies, Artijieiai Bait Ferrates, Beets, s>c., Also Fishing Taekio repaired. Musical Instruments! VIOLINS from *1.25 up to $1(.Q0. GUITARS and BANJOS from $2.50 up to *IO.OO. Ten-Keyed Richter MOUTH HARMON I CAS, 10 ets. ACCORDIONS from *i .(Hi up to *10.50. Also FLUTES, PI CO LOS, CLARIONETS and FIFES at astonishing low rates. Violin and Guitar Strings from 5 ets. for good ordinary E, to 15 ets. for tine Silk E. Bai\io Strings, best, 10 ets. each. Bass Viol and Cello Strings. s®-Mv line of strings cannot be excelled in tills State, for Price and Quality. Orders by mail receive prompt atten tion. *i-Repalrlng of fine Guns a specialty. THEODORE DESIINER, Prop. Great Central Gun Works, Bellefonte, Pa. for Price List aiul Illustrated cata logue, containing Game Laws of Pennsylvania free. Ci3¥Blsßii Steam Saup Sc. Solo Prop:fetors r.ml Manufacturers < f Watson's Portable Forge, ff| Mafe • ■ ; P I la I t st I % | V $ \ • " "" \ Ebver Vv.r :'s ? : HoU's Patent Sicr.i 8a gee For to.v ■ ::* ::v .; sr. Isi y WO' L 3 : I ,15A>J " * V" 'us : i:; . Oiiicfi &'a Liicct, GLLViiiiAlili, CiiiO. PICSUSHS! AT BUCK BROS' MiiT eaLLfitir! FAMILY GROUPES AND CHILDREN —TAKEN BY THE— INSTANTANEOUS PROCESS! Satisfactory Work Done by RAIN OR SHINE! We furnish everything in our line from a Miniature Card to a Cabinet Picture. Picturse copied and en larged in the best style. -CFRAMES^ can be procured at our place on short notice our prices are down so as to suit every purse. Gallery on North St., Millheim, Pa, A. SIMON & SONS WHOLESALE AND RETAIL GBOCEBS keep the largest stock In the county 143 MAIN STREET, LOCK HAVEN GO TO . SIMON BROTHERS, THE BOSS CLOTHIERS for your Clothpii,. 45 MAIN STREET, LOCK HAVEN. THE MOST PERFECT SWEEPER MADE. A Mncliino that Sells Itself. CONSIDERED BY ALL FIKST.CLASS DEALERS THE STANDARD MVEEI'EH. UNRIVALED FOR BEAUTY, Strength and light running; perform* It* labor easily nud noiaelosuly, Tho Jtruah Ih easily adjusted to nil grades of carpet. Tho luaunorof discharging tho dust is superior to ull others. ASK FOR IT AND BUY NO OTHER. For Sale by all lk-alera, Manufactured by lb Goshen Sweeper and Wringer Co,, GOSHI2N, IND. D. I. BROWN, DEALER IN STOVES, HEATERS, RANGES, TINWARE &o„ Practical worker in Tin, Sheet Iron, Copper, &c. seT"Repairing tloue at short notice 1))' practical workmen. Spouting-a Specialty Shoj) on Main St.,opposite Albright's. MILLHEIM. PA. | FOR" Hp the best) Imb EXTERNAL |lu E,emedy| ISE||icuilSl,i EM * z NFIIRALGIAJ |= CRAMPS, I I ——B Sprains, Bruises,? i Burns and Scalds J I eqbl Sflsiles, Factackc, | 1 h™ 3 Frosted Feet and! i I Ears, and oil other ■ I Pains and Aches. I It is a safe, sure, andß | effectual Remedy fori I Galls, Strains, Scratches,! I i^S Sores &c * on HORSES. J 0} One trial will prove itsß 3 merits. Its effects are inl * T most cases ? INSTANTANEOUS. S Every Dottle warranted toH r pive satisfaction. Send ad-fS •s aress for pamphlet, free, gir- K ra .it —rii iTrni full directions for theH H treatment of above diseases. H F Price 25 cts. and 50 cts. perH ■ bottle. Sold everywhere. n D cnr J> JuJinson l Lcrd, Froprictora, H UorlingtoD, YL For Sale at SFIGELMYEJVB Millheim & Madisonburg, Pa ■ ■ IJM ■ Hn|G'd* working people. Send 10 M g yjlcents postage, and we will mail IS S—IT you.free, a royal, valuable sam pie box of goods that will nut you in the way of making more money in a few < ays than you ever thought possible at any bus iness. Capital not required. You can live at home and work in spare time only, or ail the time. All of both sexes, of all ages, grandly successful. 50 cents to ay for the trouble of writing us. Full particu lars, directions, etc.. sent free. Immense pay absolutelysurefor all who.start at once. Don't de ay. Address STINSON & Co., Portland, Maine. d? Q/ WW vref' viuclug Ilia moat Incredulous that c j CONSUMPTION jS iji 1B not IncuraMo, if properly altondod to.— Ufi At its commencement it in hut a slight irrltu- CO CO tiun of the jmmbrano hicli cover* the Lunge; ITTu then an inflnnmtion, v. hen tho cough 1* rather dry,local h ver.ond the pulse morefrequont, the 0 cheeks flu-hod and chills more common. This "J" Elixir In curing tho abovo complaints, oper-S. KB ales NO us 1o removo nil morbid liiifu-H| □fa Hons and In tin mat loir from tho lungs I rj to tho surface, and finally expel them from IH the system. It faeilitatus expectoration. W Xt heals the ulcerated surfaces and relieves tho cough and makes the Lraith- Pjl ing ea>y. It stipportoUM I and at itrl posametiino retlucoa tho fever. 11 Is free from H 1 $1 •'trong opiate and astringent arti< h a, which are |H KSj ~l'ao drying a naturo as to bo 111 u i eat danger of Mi Kg de-Itrying tlie patient; whereo3 this medicineE | 5 never dries or stops tho cough, but, by renter-H Ida ing tho CAUSE, consequently, when thooough H *3 is cured tho patient is xvell. fend address for PU pampiilet giving full directions, free. fcrg PiiooSicts., f>o cts. ; and 81.00 por bottle. MQ mj t-OLD EVERYWHERE. PI For Sale ut SJ'IQ If LM YE ITS, Mil Ihe im >g- l* p iei I.o*y ami "llJi i^nlr\ ; : Terms EftMf v Address, MiiiAY IlleOS., Srocktlde F*n*, \JF ayne, IM\ , • - COLLEGE, NEWARK, NEWJERBET, Occupies three Buildings. Bargeth and Beat. Mar* positions for graduates than all other school's oom* ° e ' COLEMAN* fesi 4 00? Pr^etoS* ggggggj GARDEN? IF YOU HAVE YOU WILL NEED And will want the Best at the least money. Then mv new Seed Catalegne will surprise yon. No matter wh f, r ®, hftTe be ®2 dealing U %eiU tarn tummy. It Is mailed Free to all, and you onfht to here Ct before buying anywhere. * WM. H. MAULE, 1 a ill Frost St.. PtJatolpnlv