THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVRKY THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hart man's foundry.
81.00 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR $1.20 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MIHEIM I OURNAL.
BUSINESS GAB PS.
A BARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
JL) U J ° HN F HARTER '
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA.
JQR. GEO. S. FRANK,
Physician & Surgeon,
BEBERSBURG, PA.
office opposite the hotel. Professional calls
promptly answered at all hours.
D. H. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon
QlfiJM on Main Street.
MILLHEIM, PA.
J. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Shop 2 doors west Millheim Banking House,
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Reeder
JJASIINGS& REEDER,
Atlornejs-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocunx.®
Hastings.
C. T. Alexandei. . • C. M. Bower.
Altorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office in Garman's new buildiug.
GEO. L. LEE,
Phjsician & Surgeon,
MADISONBCBG, PA.
Office opposite the Public School House.
C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLEFONTE, 1 PA.
Practioes in all the courts* of Centre county.
BpecUl attention to Collections. Consultations
In German or English.
J. A. Beaver. X W. Gephart
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High Street
"GROCKERHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA.
C, G. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors.
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONTE, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PROPRIETOR.
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable.
Rates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici
ted. M y
JRVIN HOUSE,
(Mdlt Central Hotel in the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY BTREETS,
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODS CALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Rooms for Commercial Travel
ers on first Hour.
gT. ELMO HOTEL,
Nos. 317 & 319 ARCH ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
RATES REDUCED TO $2.00 PER DAT.
The traveling public will atill find at this
Hotel the same liberal provision for their com
fort. It is located in the immediate centres of
Business and places of ainusemeut and the dif
ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts ot
the city, are easily accessible by street Gars
constantly passing the doors. It offers special
inducements to those visiting the city for busi
ness or pleasure.
Your patronage respectfully solicited.
Jos. M. Feger. Proprietor.
XJEABODY HOTEL,
9thSt. South of Chestnut,
PHILADELPHIA.
ofie Square south of the New Post
Office, oue half Square from Walnut
St. Theatre and in the very business
centre of the city. On the American
European plans. Good rooms
fiom 50cte to $3.00 per day. Remodel
ed and newly furnished.
W PAINE, M. D. T
40*1? Owner & Proprietor.
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 58.
A. \Y, HAFKR
Surgeon & Drnlist.
Office on Penn Street. South of T.uth. church,
MILLHEIM, I'A.
p> H.MUS3ER,
' JEWELER,
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, &c.
All work neatly and promptly Exe
cuted.
Shop on Main Street,
Millheim, Pa.
J. 1* Spauftier. t\ P. II ewes
QPANGLEB& IIEWES.
Attorney s-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office In Furst's new building.
H.REIF3NYDER,
Auctioneer,
MILLIIEIM, PA.
PENNSYLVANIA
STATE COLLEGE.
FAL.L TERM BEGINS SEPTEMBER 10,1534
Examinations for admission, September 9.
This institution is located in one of the most
beautiful and healthful spots of the entire Alle
gheny region. It is open to students of both
sexes, and offers the following courses of study :
1. A Full Scientilic Course of Four Years.
2. A Latin Scieniiflc Course.
3. The following SPECIAL COURSES, of two
ye.irs each following the ffrst two years of
the scientific Course (a) AGRICULTURE ;
(b) NATURAL HISiORY; (c) CHEMIS
TRY AND PHYSICS; (d) CIVIL ENGIN
EERING.
4. A short SPECIAL COURSE In Agriculture.
5. A short SPECIAL COURSE in Chemistry.
6. A reorganized Course In Mechanicle Arts,
combining shop-work with study.
7. A new .special Course (two years) in Litera
ture and Seience. for Young Ladies.
8. A Carefully graded Preparatory Course.
9. SPECIAL CO USES are' arranged to meet the
wants of Individual students.
Military drill is required. Expenses for board
and incidentals very low. Tuition free. Young
ladies under charge of a competent lady Princi
pal.
For Catalogues, or other Inform ttionuddress
GEO. W. ATHERTON.LL. D., PRESIDENT
lyr STATE COLLEGE, CENTRE CO., Pa.
Mrs. Sarah A. Zeigler's
BAKERY,
oil Peim street, south of race bridge,
Millheim, Pa.
of superior quality can be bought at
any time and in any quantity.
ICE CREAM AND FAN
CY CAKES
or Weddings, Picnics and other social
gatherings promptly made to order-
Call at her place and get your sup
plies at exceedingly low prices. 34-3 m
SCHOOL SUPPLIES!
(A full line at the v
JOURNAL STORE. 1
Parents are invited to call at our M
place on Penn Street. "
MILLHEIM
Sewing Machine
OFFICE,
F. 0. HOSTERM AX, Proprietor,
Main St., opposite Campbell's store.
AGENCY FOB THE
World's Leader
AND THE
"WHITE
SEWING MACHINES,
the most complete machines in market.
tgrEach machine is guaranteed for
five yearo by the companies.
Tt e undersigned also constantly keeps on hand
all kinds of
Mss. Oil, Attachments. Sc. k
Second Hand Machines
eoid at exceedingly low prices.
Repairing promptly attended to.
Give roe a trial and be convinced of the truth
of these statements.
F 0■ R0
MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 27. 1884.
THE LOST BILL
A THANKSGIVING STORY.
M illy Harry and .1 osif King served at
opposite counters of a great dry-goods
J and millinery emporium. That was
! how they made acquaintance in the
j first place—nodding and smiling at
( each other in the intervals of serving
! customers. When they came to speak
ing, and by easy stages to the innocent
confidence of their age they found they
were companions in so many ways—
, each being orphaned, poor, lonely and
veiy .sociable—it was natural that they
should presently exchange vows of e
ternal friendship.
They then hired a little room togeth'
er, paid equal parts of its humble rent,
and went partners in their frugal house
keeping expenses ; and when they
drank their coffee and ate their
Vienna roll opposite each other, across
a dainty little table they felt as if they
had a home once more.
M illy was a fair, pleasant-looking girl,
with soft blue iyes, brown hair, and a
fresh red-and white complexion ; Josie
was tall, slight, dark and pale, with
glossy black hair and large, dark
brown eyes—a very handsome girl,
as was often rem irked by ladbs when
she served them, with a rather queenly
air.
The girls were a direct contrast, in
personal appearance—another reason
for their attraction toward each other.
Mill and Josie had not large salaries
—the firm which employed them was
not remarkabb for generosity ; quick
sales, small profits and very small sal
aries was the rule,in the "great empor
ium."
However, by dint of incessant econ
omy, and by reason of sharing expen
ses, Mllly and Josie contrived to put
aside a small sum weekly toward a lit
tle fund for a great Thanksgiving cele
bration.
They were both New England girls,
and in their childhood's days that day
had ever been one of great rejoicing
and much merrymaking in the homes
that lernained nnv only as a beau tiful
and hallowed memory.
But for once they determined to
make it as much of a j lyous reality as
the flight of years and the loss of
friends and relatives would allow.
They laid out in imagination quite a
sumptuous entertainment ; and on
counting up their savings a few days
before the festiye occasion, and find
ing that they amounted to the magnifi
cent sum of ten dollars,both girls felt
justified in inviting a few fiiends to
help them eat their turkey.
Mrs. Hobson, their landlady.promis
ed to roast the noble bird, and asked
permission to contribute a mince and a
pumpkin pie ; while the girls them
selves undertook the cooking of the
cranbery sauce and vegetables on their
own tiny gas stove—for each felt tnat
half the fuo of the entertainment would
be lost unless they personally superin
tended a portion or the cooking.
The grat dav approach d.and it was
Thanksgiving Eve, and of course their
marketing had to be done after store
hours, for neither had been able to get
leave of absence during the day-time,
the empoiium being more than ussually
thronged because of the corniug holi
day.
"Come, Josie !" called Millv, from
the door of their room, as she drew on
her neat gloves, Josie having stepped a
cross the hall for a moment to ask their
rheumatic neighbor, just opposite,
whether they could do her any service
while they were out shopping.
"Yes, dear," JosL answered. "Go
on, Milly— I will overtake you at the
door."
Milly went on, as directed, very leis
urely. and buttoning her gloves as she
decrnded the stairs.
When she reached the lower ball, she
waited for Josie before opening the
door.
Minute after minute passed, and
growing impatient, she amused herself
bv drumming with the lips of her flu
gers on the banisters.
Five minutes pissed, and, with a
slight exclamation, she ran half way
upstairs agaiu.
"Come, Josie—it is getting late p
sire called out, as she retraced her
steps. "We wMI find nothing w< fJ
buying."
"Oh, dear, dpar !" responded Josie,
in a voice of mingled distress and per
plexity.
Milly hurried up the remaining stair,
and hastened into their room.
Josie was wildly searching about the
apartment, moving table, chairs, beau
reau—even the bed—in a state of utter
despair and bewilderment .
Milly could not repress a slight laugh,
her friend looked so wildly anxious
and distressed, for no apparent cause.
"What in the world is the matteiV
' Have you lost anything I"
* Any thing ? everything ! M Was the
A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE
tragic reply, with an appi opriate tone
and gesture. "The money ! Our ton
dollars is gone 1"
"Good gracious !—but is it possi
ble !"
Milly gasped for breath, and sank
into the nearest chair, with even great
er despair written on her countenance
than had just given IHB to her merri
ment when she saw it depicted on her
fiiend's face. But Josie didn't laugh.
The situation was far too serious for her
too see any comic phase of it.
"So I thought, too,when I first miss
ed it ; but I have searched every corner
of the room, every iudi of the carpet,
every Impossible and possible place,
and the appalling fact becomes more
convincing—the money is gone 1"
Again and again every article in the
room was moved out of its place, and
every likely and unlikely nook and
crevice searched, but without success.
Occasionally a remark was m ade by
one or the other of the girls, and ab
sently replied to ; and still the search
went on, until, tired out, they both sat
down and despairingly removed bonnet,
jacket and gloves.
There was now no occision for going
out ; the merry marketing to which
they had looked forward with so much
pleasure, was no longer possible.
Instead, they must find some way of
sending word to their invited guests
that foreseen their little festivity.
Josie was quite heartbroken,blaming
heistdf fr her earelessnes ; and though
Milly tried to comfort Ler, she could
*:ot help thinking that she would have
been more careful of the treasure they
had so leng and so faithfully striven
for.
And, to make everything worse, an
unmistakable, though indescribable,
coldness sprang up between these warm
friends.
"You and Josie h ing are not such
fiiends as you used to be," remarked a
second acquaintance to Milly Barry,
soma weeks later.
The speaker w;.s Kate Weeks, one ot
the party who had been Invited to the
Thanksgiving dinner which never took
place ; and the young girls chanced to
be talking to gether for a few moments
during the biief noontime.
"No, we ar<r uot—though I love Jo
sie King h*;rly, and always shall," re
turned Milly. "The trouble dates
from the loss of that unfortunate ten
dollars. You see, no one else was in
the room from the time she laid the
money on the bureau until it was miss
ed, except ourselves. And where
could it go ? I am sure the same
thought is in b >th our minds—not that
either of us really suspejts the other of
taking the money—that would be ira
p issible—but we are both miserable
from feaiing that we suspect each oili
er, and we have neither of us the cour
age to come to an explanation. The
idea of such a thing seems so unuttera
bly mean ! Oh,dear ! I had rather have
lost ten thousand dollais than have
given way to the wicked thoughts and
doubts forced on me by the loss of that
wretched ten."
A young man,who was passing along
the crowded aisle of the great empor
ium at that m -merit, chanced to over
hear these words ; for, in her excite
ment, Milly raised her voice, and spoke
with great distinctness.
Ttiis young man looked at her with
marked attention, and before he lift
the store be bad, by much persevei auce,
and by assuming his most engaging
manner, adroitly managed to ascertain
Milly's name, and also her place of res
idence, without either giving offense or
subjecting himself to a snubbing for his
curiosity.
That evening, Josie and Milly were
much staitied by the receipt of a card
sent up by a gentleman who hau asked
for them both, aud was now wailing
in the parlor.
"Say we will come down," seid Jo
sie to the gaping maid-of-all- work, who
evidently shared their amazement, for
neither Miss Barry nor Miss King bad
ever leceived a masculine visitor before
si. ce taking up their abode iu those
lodgings.
"Albert Merton," Josie read from
the card, as the door closed behind the
servant. "I know of no such persm.
It must be some friend of yours, Mil
ly."
"No,indeed 1 I never heard the gen
tleman's name before. But it's a very
pretty name. Suppose we go and see
if the owner is worthy of his name."
Both girls hastened to the parlor.and
a tall, good-looking, elegant young
man, "quite as pretty as his name,"
Milly, subsequently remarked, rose to
meet them.
"Miss Barry," he bowed to Milly,
"and Miss King," he bowed to Josie,
"I trusr you will not consider this an
intrusion when I explain that I come
to return something belonging to you
both which had ciiauce to get into my
possession."
"Impossible, I think 1 We have
lost nothing—at least I have
i And Jdste WWatfd Milly.
"Nor I 1" le died that young lady,
emphatic illy.
"Are you quite sine ? ' smiled the
visitor. "A certain ten-doll,it lull was
blown in my face by a stray gust of
wind lust Thanksgiving Ere, just as I
was passing this house.and I have been
on the lookout tor the owner ever
since. Something I chanced to over
near to d ty led me here "
"A ten-dollar bill V" bath giils ex
claimed at once.
And Milly added, in self-reproach :
"The wind w was open, Josie. I
stepped across the room to close it. a.id
I never remeuji ered it afterward. How
wrong of me ! It would have explain
ed everything."
And without a word more, both girls
rushed toward each other,and exchang
ed a fervent embrace.
Mr. Merlon smiled and seemed to
uudeistand, although neither of the
girls remembered his presence just
then.
"But it may not be our., ten dollars
after all."
"That is easily tested," said Josie.
"T exchanged our money for the bill at
the store that day ; and having my
pencil in hand at the time, I wrote on
the hack it our initials, I M. and J. \
inclosed in a circle.'
"And here it is I" laughed young
Me-ton, taking a crisp note from Irs
pocket, and smoothing it out, so that
the mark was plainly visible on the le
vers? side.
"S> like you, Josie," said Millfr, tak
ing possession of Ihe money. "I shall
take care of't this time."
Josie made no answer,but her quick,
artistic eye, noted the strong, white,
well shaped hand on which the bill had
rested ; and some how the look of ad
miration was caught by the dark, blue
eyes of the owner of that hand.
Josie King blusi.ed violently, and
looked so handsome that Albert M er
tn instinctively utteied an exclama
tion.
"Oh, Miss King.you will forgive me,
I know 1" he explained. "But I am
an artist, and at that moment the turn
of your head and the expression of
your face, just realized the ideal I have
b-cn engaged on. It is a charming
subject—if you would only grant me
the privilege of a silting to sketch your
head "
Milly dfscrpetly withdrew to a dis
tance, and pretended to examine the
recovered ten-dollar bill. Josie did
not grant the young artist's r*ques
immediately ; but her refusal was not
of a character to render him hopeless.
She subseqently repented of hei lack of
amiability so far thatshe granted Albert
Merton innumerable sittings ; and, in
the course of the next six months, his
studio teemed with sketches of Josie
King's b-autiful head and face; in fact,
tie occupied her spare time &o exclu
sively. and found her so invaluable as
a mod* !, that they agreed to enter into
a life-! ng partnership ; and on the
wedding day, Milly, who officiated as
hrid-smaid, slipped the identical ten
dollar bill into Josie's hand, and whis
pered :
"Have it framed and put in a glass
case, dear. You see our loss was a
great gain in the end."
The President's Experience.
President Arthur and a few friends
were enjoying the air and their cigars
on the veranda of the White House one
afternoon last week when the conver
sation turned on the experiments re
cently made by a French phyaici ia on
the head of a murderer immediately af
ter the execution.
"The French scientist is of the opin
ion that the hsad retains consciousness
for several minutes after it was cut
off," remarked -Gen. Sheridan, who
had read a descriptiou of the experi
ment.
"Gentlemen," said the President,
removing his cigar, "I know of a still
more singular case. I decapitated, on
the suggestion of Col. Ochiltree fiere, a
colored Federal official down in Texas,
and he made more noise after his head
was off than be did before."
"Was lie sensible for any length of
time after his head was off?" asked
one of the party.
"I don't know whether I can say
that he acted sensible or not, but it is
a fact, that he retained sufficient con
sciousness, four months after decapita
tion, to cast thirteen votes for Jim
Blaine at Chicago, first,last and all the
time. Didn't he, Tom ?" Col. Och
iltree blushed and was silent. —Texas
Siftm ys.
Cincinnati is to have an old monu
ment, in the form of a nun, built front
the broken pillars and fragments of the
court house buined during the riot.
They now make handsome furniture
out of Pressed black walnut sawdust,
which is capable of as high a pbiirfb a3
tUe tfolfd WdxAl ftdelf.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
THE C(II\ESE IV MW YORK.
Peculiarities of the Orientals
Described
Their Suporstitions and Their Un
conquerable Fatalism—A Re
porter in a Chinese Hos
pital.
Soon after the first batch of China
men put in their appearance in New
York they began to [surround them
selves with heathen accessories to
which they had been accustomed in
San Francisco. Before three months
had gone by they had several flourish
ing opium dens, half a dozen "fan-ton''
games and lottery joints and a dozen
stores for the sale of Oriental commo
dities. Having provided for the a
musements of their daily lives the
moon-eyed strangers set up relations
with the powers above, by establishing
a Joss house, wherein they hang their
prayers with commendable regularity
and punctuality. Next they set about
encompassing order by the founding of
a Chinese law court, and lastly, and
very recently they completed the social
circle of Chinese life by opening a hos
pital, or more properly, a house where
in the sick may die without bothering
their friends and relations.
Chinamen are well known to be fatal
ists. This trait in their national char
acter makes Chinamen, who are other
wise cowardly, meet death with the ut
most stoicism. On the Pacific slope
executions of Chinamen have been by
no means unfrequent, and in no case
has the victim of the law failed to
march to the scaffold with the forti
tude of an Indian. The belief that what
is to be is to be, and no act of a person
may avert a catastrophe, renders the
healing art most difficult of application
to Chinamen. Once John becomes re
ally sick, he is pretty sure to die, be
cause he gives up all hope, refuses to
take medicines, and resigns himself
stoically to the fate iq store for him.
lie is superstitious,and places what lit
tle faith he his in curatiyes not in
drugs, hut i# queer amulets, funny
hags, and nauseating liquids blessed by
the priests. This superstition affects
his relations,and once the hand of death
is considered to have set its mark upon
the sick man's saffron forehead he is an
outcast. He is no more fit to remain
in human habitation ; for should he die
under the roof, all manner of ills will
fall upon the inmates. Therefore he is
hustled out to die. In San Francisco
dying men .are often found upon the
streets. Parents are as ruthlessly sac
rificed, once their ailment is consider
ed hopeless, as the ynriest stranger—
and yet the children of a Chinamen are
the most dutiful of any children of any
people.
Hearing that a hospital,orsick-house,
as tht Chinese term it, had been estab
lished in Chinatown, a representative
of the Commercial Advertiser set to
work to find the place, and explored it
if opportunity offered. From inquiries
made among tin white people in the
neighborhood, the house w is located 011
the north side of the street, five or six
doors from the corner of Chatham
street. The entrance was under a
stocp, and opened into along dark hall
way, that in turn led into a blind court
between the front and rear buildings.
The drains from the adjoining house ß
emptied into the stone-flagged court,
the sewage lay in little pools in the
broken stones, sending up an overpow
ering stench. Garbage was scattered
over the ground, where it had been
thrown from the windows, and lumber
boxes and barrels filled up the inter
vening spaces. Picking his way across
the court, the writer reached a deal
door that appeared to open into the
lear housp, hut which really opened in
to a long alley, at the end of which was
another door on which was pasted a
red sign in black Chinese characters.
Knocking produced no response. The
visitor lifted the latch, and pushed the
door open. A volume of foul air and
smoke jioured out, nearly stifling the
reporter, who drew back for a moment,
but recovering he entered. The place
was dark, but gradually the eye becom
ing accustomed to the gloom, it was
possible to distinguish the limits of the
place. Not a stick of furniture was in
the place, but a brazier, made of an old
coal oil can,burned in the middle of the
room. On one side there were bunks,
arranged end for end, and on one, cov
ered by a quilt made of gunny sacks
and rags lay a human form. As the
visitor approached, the miserable crea
ture half raised upon his elbow, and
asked in a hollow voice : 'What for ?'
'You sick ?' interrogated the report
er.
'Me velly sick,' answered the Chine,
man, falling back with a groan.
'Hungry ?'
'No—llo can eat.' •
'Where are your friends ?'
'No got fliends. All gone,'
As the poor fellow ceased, a hollow
cough told the story. He was uying
from consumption, which carries off
fully half of his iace in this country.
Poor food, insufficient c'othing ?rnd an
unsanitary mode of life soon work liav
tfc with tile Weak pliytffqftte of ttfe ddolle
NO. 47-
NEWSPAPER LAWS
IT BnUWi'HJt'i /rorflfcrtffcf dlscontluttation of
newspapers, the nn oils hers inav continue to
send them mittl all ari-earages are paid.
If sbß<!ril>ers refuse or nealeel to take their
no wspapei s f rout the ofilee to which t hey are sent
they are held responsible until they have settled
the bills ai d ordered them discontinued.
If subscribers! move toother places without In
forming the publisher, and the uewspapers are
sent to the former place, they are resioDblhle.
IL "1 J 11 BHHIPW!*!™"
ADVERTISING) KATES.
1 wk. 1 mo. 3 mos. 6mos. 1 year
1 square *2 no *4 00 $ ;oo *g oo $ g (<i
k " 700 10 00 15 00 30 00 40(H)
1 * 1000 1500 2500 45 00 75 00
One inch makes a square. Administrators
ami Executors' Notices Transient adver.
Usementsand locals 10 cents per line for first
inset Hon and 5 cents per line for each addition
al insertion.
and his vicious habits ©f opium smok
ing and gambling hurry him on until
too weak to stand, his friends carry
iiim to the sick house.
There was nuthing more to learn,
John was dying, and he would do noth
ing to help himself, for was not the
hand of death upon him ? So, leaving
a small piece of silver in the talon-like
hand of the sick man, the reporter left.
As he stepped into the court the pro
prietor of the sick house was coming in
with a tin plate of rice and a diminu
tive cracked cup of tea.
'What is the matter with that man,
John V asked the reporter.
'Oh, him die.'
•The sickness V (consumption.)
•Yes. Him die to-morrow.'
'Where are his friends ?'
'Him fliends plenty lich. Got.'em
store. Payee Sam Kee plenty money
keep Ah Jim '
.'Why don't you get a doctor ?'
'Wha' for V iiim die. Wha' for
spend um money doctor V
'Why don't his friends keep him
home where he can be comfortable V
'All same bad Joss come,he die there.
Ah Jim all lite. II im die plenty click'n
haye big flun'ral. Send'uua bones back
China.'
The next day when the reporter call
ed Ah Jim lay in a pine box. He had
on a new suit of blue glazed muslin aud
a skull cap with a bright red btfttou.
llis face wore a calm expression, and
the thin hands were crossed over his
breast. Funeral punk burued and lit
tle gilded paper cornucopias were scat
tered around. Across the street grand
preparations were making for a great
funeral feast, for Ah Jim had died out
of the house and he could now be hon
ored.—N- Y. Commercial Advertiser.
Where the Difference Came In.
A certain gentleman requiring legal
assistance had been recomen<|jed to
one of the two brothers, but had for
gotten the Christian name of him he
sought, so he called at the office of the
one first found and asked for Mr. Pod
ger.
'That is my name, sir.'
'But there are two of you of that
name here in town ?'
'Yes.'
•Well, I wish to consult with the Mr.
Podger—excuse me for the allusion—
who wears a wig.'
'We both wear wigs, sir.'
'Well, the one I seek was divorced
from his wife not long ago.'
•There you hit us both again, sir.'
'The man to whom I was reccomend
ed has recently been accused of forgery,
though, I trust, unjustly.'
'There we are again, iny dear sir. We
have both had that geutle insinuation
laid at our doors.'
'Well, upon my word, you two broth
ers bear a striking resemblance. But
I gue.-s I have it now. The one I am
after is in the habit of occasionally
dlinking to excess—sometimes tointox
ication.'
'My dear man, that little yice is un
fortunately characteristic of the pair of
us. and I doubt if our best friend could
tell you which was the worst.'
'Well .you are a matched pair ci rtain
ly. But tell me,' continued the visitor,
'which of the twain it was that took
the poor debtor's oath a few months a-
Ko?'
'lla, ha,we were both in that meddle.
I was on Bob's paper and he was on
mine.'
'ld mercy's name !' cried the appli
cant, desperately, 'will you tell me
which of the two is the most sensible
man ?'
'Ah, there you touch bottom, iny
friend. Poor Bob, I can't stretch the
truth, even to serve a brother. If you
want the more sensible one of the two
I suppose I must acknowledge the corn.
I'm the man.'
Bill Nye's Advioe to Parents.
Do not constantly tell your boy 'how
tall' he is—that he 'grow like a weed'
—and finally make him think he is a
giraffe. If you keep it up you will fin
ally make a round-shouldered, awk
ward,bashful bean-pole out of a mighty
good looking boy. If every tall boy iu
this country will agree to lick every
wooden-healed man who tells him '{low
he does grow,' I will agree to hold the
coat of said tall boy, I am now deal
ing with a subject of which I happen to
be informed. The same rule applies to
girls as well. If you want to make
your daughter fall over the piano and
yearn to climb a tree whenever she sees
anyone come toward the house, tell her
'what a great swalloping tom-hcy she
is getting to be.' In this way, if her
parents act judiciously and in concert,
we can soon have, a nation of j oung
men and women whose manners and
carriage will be as beautiful and sym
metrical as the plaster cast off a sore
toe.
The Chinese Government offers am
nesty to all Chinese subjects who will
return home and enter into the service
of the Goyernment iu the war against
France.
The average number of hhlrs Ou tbu
bbatt is T2O } WO.