The Lucky Man. The bank was closed, because the cashier and paying teller had gone to Canada for a few years' vacation. They had taken with them more than enough to pay their expenses. Few people visited the receiver aud the president The failure of the institu tion mm an old story. The deposit ors and stockholders had surged about the doors at first, and crowded and pushed for places ; but as they would have to wait for their divideuds, there was no longer any excitement a round the doors,and anybody was ad mitted. •May I see the receiver V asked a shrewd, happy-looking man of the president. 'Certainly; but won't I do as well ?' 'Who are you V the visitor inquir ed. 'I am the president.' 'Yes, I guess you'll suit me. I want to deposit some money in this bank.' 'Money in this bank ! Why, it has failed 'busted* stopped payment. The cashier has got away with-all the money.' •Yes,' answered the stranger ; 'I know that well enough. That's the reason I came here.' 'Mail alive ! you don't want to put your cash in an insolvent bank ! We have no idea of resuming.' 'I don't care a straw for that. I want you to take my deposit.' 'Can't do it,'said the president,firm ly: 'You'd loose it.' 'Loose it ? Not much. Never lost a cent in my life.' •What do you mean ?' T mean just this—that I'm the unhappiestman in existence, because I'm so lucky. It is luck that is just killing me, and I want it to turn. I have heard that in my theological his tory there was a man who could not touch anything without it turning in to gold. I must be a decendant of his.' 'Well, my friend,your luck will cer tainly turn this time. If I took your money it would be thrown among the assets, and you'd get in return but a small dividend. But I won't do it.' 'Nothing of the sort,' returned the would-be depositor : 'The bank would be open again in a week, everybody would be paid in full, and I should double or treble my money in some way or other. Oh, if you'd only let me leave it here 1' 'No, sir.' 'lt is always the way,' returned the visitor, dejectedly : 'Nobody will take pity on me, and this abominable good luck will continue to follow me throughout life. Listen, kind sir, to my sad story: 'When I was a young man I sent my little brother to make a deposit in a savings-bank. Johnny fell down on his way and didn't pay it in. The next day that bank 'basted' and paid but one cent on the dollar- I bought a lottery ticket, and won the capital prize and received the cash. The fol lowing week all lotteries in the State were suppressed. I went to a club at a watering-place, threw a five-dollar bill on the 00. it came up ten times running, and I left. That night all gambling houses were raided by the police. I found my way to Wall street. I bought a hundred shares of the first stock that came on hand. It was 'cornered' in the morning, and I cleared a little fortune. A rich wid ow smiled on me at Saratoga. I off ered myself, and was excepted. We were married. Our happiness was short-lived. In less than ten days she fell overboard in the lake and was drowned. Her immense fortune be came mine. Now my misery began. I had too much moßey,and I knew not what to do with it. I thiew myself in the way of bunco-steerers, in the hope of being swindled. They would let me draw real prizes, and send me home with genuine coin and greenbacks, if I buy a piece ot swampy land full of malaria it will rise in price over night and bring me five thousand dollars a foot. I once tried to loose a big roll of large bills. I dropped it in the gutter. It was of no use. A tramp who had seen me do it ran after me, and put the roll-back in my pocket. I sped like the wind; he went faster,and I was foiled. I offered him a thous and dollar bill for his trouble. He de cfintd to take more than fifty cents. And now you refuse the trifling boon I ask. The world is in a conspiracy against me. Would that I were poor!' Then the unhappy man went forth from the 'busted' bank, looking the picture of despair.— Puck. Girls in Odd Stockings. 'Scarlet stockings ? Yes, they're all the go,' said a Chestnut street hosiery dealer yesterday. 'But that isn't the latest craze by any means.' 'What is the latest fashion then ?' j 'Why, on Saturday morning T had three young lady customers who came in and bought three pair of red and three pair of black hose. J was some what surprised and asked the object. Jn each case I was told that it was not considered the proper caper to wear two red stockings now, any more than it is to wear two black ones.' 'Well, what on earth were they go ing to do ?' 'Wear one of each kind—a scarlet stocking on one foot "and a black one on the other. It's a fact I assure you. And the fashion is gaining ground,for this morning / have had several more customers on the same errand. Blnr'< and red, you know, are striking and at the same time becoming contrasts.' ADVICE TO MOTHERS Are yon disturbed at night and broken of your rest by a slok child suffering and crying with pain of cutting teeth? If so, send at once and get a bottle of MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING. Its value is incalculable. It will relieve the poor little suf ferer Immediately. Depend upon it, mothers, there is no mistake about it. It cures dysentery and diarrhoea, regulates the stomach and bowels, cures wind colic, softens the gums, re duces inflammation, ami gives tone ami energy to the whole svstem. MRS WINSLOW'S SOOTH ING SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING is pleasant ao the taste, and Is the prescription of one of the oldest and best female nurses and physlei tns in the United States, and is for sale by all druggists throughout the world. Price 85 cents a bottle. LewisMrg and Tyrone Railroad Time Table. LEAVE WESTWARD. 1 3 5 7 0 A. M. A. M. P. M. P. M. P. M Montandon 705 9.40 2.05 6.00 7.55 Lewisburg 7.25 10 05 2.20 Fair Ground 7.30 10.13 2.25 Biehl 7.40 10.27 2.35 Vicksburg 7.45 10.36 2.40 MtftUnburg AbOar 11.00 ar ±55 le. 3u5 Mlllmont 0.22 3.28 Laurel ton —.8.33 3.40 Wiker Run ..8.57 4.06 Cherry Run 9.15 4,25 Fowler 9.35 4.47 Coburn 9.48 5.04 Spring MillsarlO.ls ar. 5.30 LEAVE E AST \V AR D. 2 4 G S 10 A. M. P. M. Spring Mills 5.50 1.50 Coburn. 6 18 2.20 Fowler 6.28 2.33 Cherry Run 6.48 2.55 Wiker Run 7.05 3.15 Laurel ton 7.30 3.40 Millmont 7.40 3.52 A. M. Mifflinburg 8.00 11.45 4.15 Vicksburg 8.15 12.10 4.32 Biehl - 820 12.17 4.38 FairGiound- A. M. 8.30 12.33 4.48 P.M. Lewisburg 6.35 8.45 12.50 5.10 7.30 Montandon ar. 6.45ar.9.00ar 1,05ar.5.20ar 7.40 Nos. 1 and 2 connect at Montandon with Erie Mail West; 3 and 4 with Sea Shore Express East.; 5 and 6 with Day Express aud Niagara Express West; 7 and 8 with Fast Line West; 9 and 10 with WiUiamsport Accommodation East. T)ENNSYLYANIA STATE COLLEGE. FALL TERM BEGINS SEPTEMBER 10,1881 Examinations for admission, September 9. This institution is located in one of the most beautiful and healthful spots of the entire Alle gheny region. It is open to students of both sexes, and offers the following courses of study: 1. A Full Scientific Course of Four Years. 2. A Latin Scientific Course. 3. The folio wing SPECIAL COURSES, of two years each following the flr-i"°nig treatment by mail. (Pcrnem satVrfmf-ojn np'ui"a'iou'd '.end Ihrtr adob, 3t. Successor to 2'r. LUIJJ'J IVabtinked IJ Tear,. ©UT THIS ©OT! ® s S'iSifiS4ow p E^. We have stcres In 15 leading Cities, frm ,r hich oir agent* obtain their supplies quickly. <) r I' I'torift a 1 Principal Offices r>re at I :i-. l'i. for our New Catalosue ana te;\ ! t) t-gema Addro-B nr. r*3 f U fM3Sprfr.f: Cordon St. L:: 3 PHILADELPHIA,PA. DOG OSSEINS? I'Ot VvßUtlnj a Dog, send for a O A. T ilogito of Newspapers and Magazines that clnh wi'h !he FAMILY stop Thief Seale-capacitv, l uz. to 10 lbs. Price, sl.so—whereby you get a Newspaper lEPOZKL XvJOT X2I2IIXTd- ! idilreac, JONES OF BIWGHAMTGN, BINGUAMTON, N. Y. !? s 1 Aijfflf -J+.. h. : '*.< v.' I , . • * -V. .f* JLj LiUJ C ** ft es'TC ,*S * j ~aa&iij < -#p ftl I ! t: ** .jm pjC&W ?i':>r>v ■ ' .. A( . • Lit. K. V. MrNfU I illi /f V. ' !. ' u cr.nrhi.i4clf,.; ;,r t'.. ! i.: TV'*.: -.C Xsrv.w Ncu-nii In, : i • < *j by tiie u.-. of l'k-ii- . or , '■ - r . pro'. Sn''t■•!•.i,i.7 ,;t' tU} ... ... • ' . t i ' IMtnit WBi*fy, j i mJZ rincing the most incredulous that Q I CONSUMPTION eg |■i is not incurable, if properly attended to.— 28 w At its commencement it is but a slight lrrita- CO CO tion of the membrane which covers the Lungs; I SB then an inilamation, when the cough is rather : dry, local fever,one in great danger of destroying the patient; whereas this medicine i nover dries or stops tho cough, but, by remov- ga ing tho CAUSE, consequently, when the cough ! is cured the patient is well. Send address for is . Hi pamphlet giving full directions, lroe. f|j Trico 35 cts.,so cts. ; aud SI.OO per bottle. r BOLD EVERYWHERE. |J fIESRT, JOHSSOI & LORD, Props., Bwrlington, Tt, i For ticile at tSl J IGELMYLIVS, Millheim d- Madisonburg, Pa i|T— I—BP THE BEST !lij "R'RTVT'E'DV NmZ ■"vdHl dhTdkdbai dkar Ms 7 NFIIRALGIA, I = CRAMPS, 1 Sprains, Bruises, § j Burns and Scalds, 1 |nJ Sciaffea, BscLaeUe, 1 Bssa Frosted Feet and! 1 E ars ' an d all otherW g W Pains and Aches. I It is a safe, sure, and ■ effectual Remedy for g S Galls, Strains, Scratches,! I Sores, &c., on 9 HORSES. One trial will prove its y ggP merits. Its effects are in h most cases : i INSTANTAMEOUS. p| Every bottle warranted to • ! give satisfaction. Send ad -1.4 ESSSH aress for pamphlet, free, giv ing full directions for the I'Js treatment of above diseases. II Price 25 cts. and 50 cts. per || bottle. Sold everywhere. Il Henry, Johnson ft Lord, Proprietors, tj "'■Gjyy Barlington, Vi For Hale at HPIGFLM YEWS. Millheim